The Rocky Road
by Desired Destiny
Summary: A new Doctor at Seattle Grace leads to some fun, love and upset. All current characters Meredith, Derek, Mark, Miranda, Alex, Cristina, Izzie, George, Callie, Hahn, Richard...and some new faces fictional Roxie, Skye, Chan and Ryan...
1. Chapter 1

A car pulled into the parking lot and soon the door open and Mark Sloan emerged from the car with a coffee in his hand. He walked away from the car locking the car by the fob and drinking his coffee. Suddenly a motorbike came out of nowhere grinding Sloan to a complete halt. As the motorbike zipped past him it edged a puddle sending sprays of water in Sloan's direction soaking him literally from head to toe. Sloan looked down at his wet clothes and in the direction the bike had gone.

"Brilliant…" he said to himself before walking away no longer happy with the day.

MOMENTS LATER

Sloan approached the nurse's station trying his best to wipe down his shirt with a towel. As he approached Derek turned to him and smiled seeing the wet dirt markings all over his clothes.

"What happened to you?" he asked his friend

"An idiot biker almost ran me over in failing to do that the jackass decided to soak me from head to toe instead. Who do these bikers think they are?" he began to rant

Just then a black biker helmet came crashing down on counter top. Mark looked over to his left to see a beautiful leather clad blonde looking back at him, her biker attire hugging at all the right places and showing off an amazing physique.

"Did you have something you wanted to say to me or would you like me to leave so you can continue with your macho ranting?"

"This is a three hundred dollar shirt" he said snapping at her

"And this is an 'I don't give a crap' glance" she replied

"Maybe you'll care when I send you the dry cleaning bill"

The blonde smiled "Good luck with that" she then turned to one of the nurses "I'm looking for Dr Webber"

"Roxanne Leoni" called Richard as he walked up to the nurse's station noticing his visitor

The blonde turned to face the chief and smiled as Derek and Mark looked on in confusion.

"Why am I here?" she asked

"Can we talk in my office?" he asked placing his hand on her back and moving her in the desired direction.

"Ok" she replied leaving with him

"I think I'm in love" said Mark with huge devilish smile on his face

"With the biker who ruined your three hundred dollar shirt"

"She can't help all the puddles in Seattle"

"You're very forgiving"

"That's the kinda guy I am"

AT RICHARDS OFFICE

Richard opened the door and invited his visitor in.

"So why am I here?" she asked again

"Roxanne…"

"Roxie"

Richard looked at his visitor "Roxie…ok. Well Roxie you've been requested"

"By who?"

"The patients name is Carlos Rivera"

"Chuck? Chuck's here?"

"He's here with regurgitation of the aortic valve"

"Oh God…" she stated in a shocked manner "He's only twenty nine years old"

"He's scared and wants a familiar face; a face that he can trust so you will go in there, you will run him through it, then you will scrub in and be by his side the entire time"

"He's going to be undergoing an aortic valve replacement how can I go in there and tell him everything's going to be ok?"

"Because here at Seattle Grace we have an excellent team of cardiothoracic surgeons and as you have already mentioned he's twenty nine this all stacks up in his favour wouldn't you agree?"

"What about his previous heart operation that's still holding up right his hearts not too weak for this surgery"

"Previous surgery?" asked Richard oblivious

A WHILE LATER

The door flung open and Roxie rampaged into Chuck's room.

"Why are you hiding things from them?" she asked

"What do you mean?" asked her friend laying in his bed surrounded by his family

"Did you not think that seen as though you're having heart surgery you should tell them about your previous surgery"

"What previous surgery?" asked Dr Hahn

"He had shrapnel removed from his heart four years ago"

"That was four years ago I didn't think it was of any relevance up until this shortness of breath and passing out I had no problems I was perfectly healthy"

"You still have to give all your details Chuck"

"Why is this not down on your medical records?" asked Dr Hahn

"It was a military procedure" replied Roxie

"And who are you?" asked Dr Hahn abruptly

"This is my surgeon Rox Leoni"

"Your what?" asked Roxie

"I don't want anybody but Roxie doing this surgery. No offence Dr Hahn I'm sure you're an excellent surgeon but to you I'm just a piece of meat. To her I'm a friend and she knows that to my wife and two boys I'm everything just like to me they're everything. She probably won't do anything differently to you but if something should happen she will fight for me a lot longer and harder than you will"

"I can assure you my main priority is your life. If something should happen I will do all in my power to correct the problem and deliver you safely back to your family"

"I'm not doubting your integrity or your work ethic Dr Hahn but when you would stop trying Roxie will carry on, she'll perform miracles"

"Chuck cardio is not my game, this surgery you're having is serious, it's not a tune up its open heart surgery"

"You did it before and I was fine. I don't trust anybody else with my life you promised me I was going home alive when I had a huge piece of shrapnel in my heart and I went under praying to God to take care of my family because I didn't think I was coming back from that but you did it. You brought me back and you sent me home alive just as you promised"

"Mr Rivera I have to step in and advise you that you think about this long and hard" said Cristina speaking up for her mentor

"I have and I respect Dr Hahn's skills and abilities but like I have already said Dr Yang there is nobody else I trust with my life. Roxie will do the surgery and that is final"

LATER

Roxie was sat on a gurney in the corridor trying to find a way to encourage her friend to let Dr Hahn do the surgery. Richard approached her and sat beside her.

"How do I talk him around?" she asked

"He's your friend"

"I not saying I can't do this but this is not what I do, did…you know what I mean. He's sat in there with his wife and two kids, his two kids that call me Aunt Rox and they're pinning all their hopes onto me"

"If he weren't your friend would you feel easier?"

"Doing this surgery? No"

"What if it were a different surgery?"

"Anything else and I would knock it out of the park but this is his heart"

"You took out the shrapnel"

"I had no choice, the circumstances were different. I wasn't surrounded by cardiothoracic surgeons who could do the procedure with their eyes closed. I was just running on adrenaline and frankly praying for the first time in my life and learning as I went along. He has a department full of cardio Gods and he's asking me to do it"

"Dr Hahn will be in there with you at all times assisting you and advising you. If for any reason something should go wrong you have one of the best cardiothoracic surgeons by your side. Now I need to know Roxie can you do this?"

Roxie looked at Richard and wondered to herself if she could.

LATER

Roxie turned the corner to head back to Chucks room when she saw people running for his room. She ran into the room pushing her way through the crowd of people.

"What happened?" screamed Roxie taking the stethoscope off of the intern stood nearby

"He was having one of his attacks I was talking him through it like I always do and then he just stopped breathing. What's wrong with him?"

Roxie put the stethoscope to his chest and tried to listen as his wife was hysterical in the background.

"Ok you have to get her out of here I can't hear with her" demanded Roxie

A nurse escorted his wife out of the room where she was reunited with her two sons. Roxie tried once again to hear a heartbeat.

"He's in V-tac. Doctor how do you want to proceed?" asked a nurse

"He's not in v-tac he's in v-fib we need to shock him"

Roxie took hold of the paddles and asked for them to be charged. She repeated the process three times finally getting back a steady rhythm.

"Ok we need to take him to the OR right now. Someone page Dr Hahn"

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Roxie was in the OR working on her friends heart when Dr Hahn walked in.

"What are you doing?" she asked

"I'm saving my friends life"

"You started without me?"

"No Dr Hahn I didn't for me to start without you that would mean that you're apart of this and trust me Dr Hahn you're not"

"Excuse me?"

"When the head of cardio is assigned to assist on a case where an external and I'll admit inexperienced surgeon is assigned to the case you would think that when the patient crashes she would be somewhere to be seen. However in this case I had to go into the room and resuscitate my friend and roll him down to the OR, scrub in and start the procedure before you even graced us with your presence. Tell me Dr Hahn does being the head of cardio give you some kind of superpowers that could have brought my friend back from cardiac arrest because no offence to the staff that did turn up to his room but they were not equipped to bring him back from the dead. They were all there scratching their heads while my friend was in v-fib"

"I have other patients"

"You were paged to a code blue, that takes priority over pre-op and post-ops I'm afraid. Now Dr Hahn I'm sure you know Dr Patrick here…he's your replacement you can leave now"

"Mr Rivera…" began Hahn

"Is lucky to be alive at this point which if he hadn't have requested me be here he wouldn't be. So Dr Hahn maybe you should leave the OR track down the code team and follow by example or even just get rid of your greater than God complex and just have the regular God complex like all surgeons have then maybe you could have stepped down from your thrown long enough to save a patients life"

Dr Yang looked on in awe watching this outsider coming in and telling off the head of cardio…her mentor. Dr Hahn said no more and left the OR and made her way up to the gallery where she watched Roxie operate on her friend flawlessly and successfully. Roxie and Cristina walked into the scrub room to scrub out.

"That was amazing. I thought you said you were inexperienced"

"I have about as much experience in cardio as you do Dr Yang which apparently is just enough to save a life"

An awkward silence filled the air and Cristina felt that she needed to say something to Roxie.

"Dr Hahn is an excellent surgeon she is a complete professional…"

"Dr Yang please stop making excuses for her. I know she's busy and she may have been at an emergent situation when she got paged but even if she were she should have sent word or at least a replacement. She didn't and if I hadn't arrived when I did I would be consoling his family right now trying to explain to his two little boys that their daddy was dead because the head of cardio couldn't be bothered to turn up. You have to see this from my point of view Dr Yang he wasn't my patient he was my friend and Dr Hahn's actions or lack of actions were unprofessional"

Roxie finished and walked out of the room to go tell Chuck's family that the surgery was a success.

A WHILE LATER

Roxie stood at the nurse's station still in her scrubs and cap filling out Chuck's chart she placed down her pen, placed her elbows on the counter and held her head in her hands and sighed a sigh of relief that her friend was still alive. With her head in her hands she felt a presence and was overwhelmed by the intoxicating smell of coffee. She looked up to see Mark stood beside her. He pushed a coffee towards her which she picked up and took a sip of.

"Why are you buying me coffee?"

"You've had a rough day you looked like you needed it"

"Do you make a habit of buying coffee for the idiot bikers who ruin your shirts?"

Mark laughed "No you're the first. I'm sorry about what I said"

"I'm sorry I ruined your shirt"

"Don't worry about it. How's your friend?"

"Hanging in there thanks for asking"

Mark leant on the counter and smiled at Roxie "I heard that you really told Hahn off"

"Yeah that's something I won't be apologising for"

Just then Marks pager went off. He took it off his hip and checked it.

"I have to go" he said walking away. He then turned around whilst still walking "You did a good job today he's lucky to have such a talented friend"

Roxie smiled "Thanks for the coffee"

"You're welcome" he said walking out of sight.

As Mark disappeared and Roxie turned back to the nurse's station she was joined by Richard.

"Congratulations" he said

"Thanks"

"Now Dr Hahn"

"Please don't I don't want to talk about her"

"We need to. As chief of surgery I need to know why she was substituted for Dr Patrick"

"Richard you know, the whole hospital knows"

"I need to hear it from you"

"She failed to arrive at a code. A code that if left much longer could have been fatal. I know there were interns and residents but she should have been there"

"I'll look into it, but still congratulations I guess you saved his life…again"

Roxie smiled as Richard walked away.

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie arrived at the hospital and made her way to Chuck's room where she found Dr Hahn doing a post-op exam.

"What are you doing in here?"

"My job"

"Shame you weren't doing that yesterday when he needed you"

"Can I speak with you outside?" asked Dr Hahn walking towards the door

"No" replied Roxie taking the chart out of her hand. "When I kicked you out of the OR and replaced you with Dr Patrick it wasn't just for the duration of the surgery it was good. I don't want you on this case anymore"

"That isn't up to you; you're a visitor here at Seattle Grace"

"And I'm staying until he is discharged so get used to it Hahn. You're not needed nor wanted here so leave and have Dr Patrick come by"

Dr Hahn looked at Roxie and then at the family and left the room for the second time.

"What was that about?" asked Chuck's wife Rochelle

"A difference of opinion but trust me you're better off without her on this case. I'm staying until he's discharged I'll look after him for you along with Dr Patrick"

"She's supposed to be the best"

"Is Chuck alive?"

"Yes" replied Rochelle with confusion

"She wasn't there in the OR and he came back alive. She may be good but she's not the best. Trust me"

A WHILE LATER

Roxie was taking a stroll around the hospital when she was approached from behind by a familiar face. The face that was one time furious with her and then brought her coffee.

"Hi"

"A little hospital fairy tells me you're sticking around"

"Is that what you call the nurse's here?"

Marked smiled "Is it true?"

"For as long as Chuck's here yeah I'm staying"

"So you're like a visitor with a pass"

"Kind of. Why do you ask?"

"I have an amazing surgery scheduled today if you want to scrub in"

Roxie stopped walking and looked at Mark.

"Thanks but I don't think so"

"This surgery is fantastic very rare"

"I'm sure it is but I'm just not interested"

"What you don't think plastics is interesting?" asked Mark

"Plastics I should have known you would be the head of plastics"

"Because I'm so perfectly gorgeous?" he asked seeking a compliment

"Because you're vain and arrogant"

"Ouch" he said with a smile

"Thanks for thinking of me with the surgery and all but I'm really just here for Chuck"

"No problem"

Roxie began to walk away but Mark jogged up to her and joined her once again.

"There is one other thing as a visitor with a pass it's a mandatory thing we have to get out of the way. Nothing big but it is essential to the introduction to Seattle Grace"

"Ok and what it is?" she asked

"Drinks…with me…tonight"

Roxie laughed "Drinks that's mandatory?"

"Yes its very crucial"

"I was never one for doing what was required of me I kind of just go with the flow"

"Ok well if you feel the flow I'll be at Joe's bar across the street after work"

"Joe's across street. I remember that in case I feel the flow"

Mark smiled "Well maybe I'll see you later but right now I have to get to my amazing surgery"

"Still not interested"

"OR one" he said walking away

Roxie smiled and shook her head at Marks attempts to get her on a date. Her thoughts were soon interrupted when Richard approached her.

"I'd like to speak to you at some point today in my office"

"Ok well I was just on my way back to check how the patient is but I can come find you later"

"Ok I'll speak to you later"

"Bye Richard" she said walking away and making her way back to Chuck's room


	2. Chapter 2

AT CHUCKS ROOM

Roxie walked into Chuck's room to find Dr Shepherd examining the patient.

"Hey here's my angel" said Chuck noticing Roxie at the door

"How you doing Chuck?" she asked

"Pretty rough but apparently that's normal"

"Yeah it is. Can I ask why neuro is here?"

"Mr Rivera was complaining of blurred vision"

"So you're sending him for a CT?" she asked

"We will but for now while he's still so weak we'll just be keeping an eye on it. There may be no need for a CT"

"Ok"

"So Rox how am I doing really?"

"You're doing good. I'm proud of you"

"So he's going to be fine?" asked Rochelle

"Lets just take things one day at a time but he's looking good. He's a strong guy he can handle this"

"Thank you" said Rochelle

Dr Shepherd left and Roxie followed.

"So the vision thing" she began

"It may be nothing we'll see how he is for the next few days and we will only send him for a CT as a last resort but it won't be done until he's a little stronger"

"Ok thanks"

"I'm Derek by the way. You're the idiot biker who tells off attendings"

"Yeah that's me but people call me Roxie. And I'm no longer an idiot biker"

"He forgave you?" asked Derek already knowing what Mark had planned

"He asked me out on a date so yeah I'm pretty sure I'm forgiven"

"Dr Shepherd, Millie Carter's speech is slurred and she's complaining of headache" interrupted a resident

"Did we get the scans back?" he asked the resident

"Not yet no" The resident looked at Roxie and smiled "Hi you're the surgeon who shouted at Dr Hahn"

"Is this what I'm going to be known as?" she asked looking at Derek

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to…"

"No don't worry about it I was kidding. Yeah that was me…Roxie" she said extending her hand

"Meredith" she said shaking her hand

"Ok Dr Grey rush the scans we need to see what there is there and is CT still backed up?"

"Yeah"

"Well try and get her in for CT using your charms"

"Ok" with that Meredith took the chart "It was nice meeting you" she said before leaving

"Trouble in paradise?" asked Roxie

"Excuse me?"

"You're obviously angry at her for something what happened?"

"I…I don't think I should be talking to you about this"

"Hey I'm contemplating going on a date with your friend so we're practically family. Plus if I don't choose to go on the date I'm leaving soon so anything you say will go with me"

Derek looked at Roxie and smiled he then sighed "She's just hard to handle sometimes"

"Handle?"

"Ok…understand. She says one thing and does another. Sometimes I have to be angry at her"

"I don't think I want to know the details"

Derek laughed "Probably not" Derek then got paged "I have to go" he said excusing himself

LATER AT JOES

Roxie walked into the bar unsure of why she was there it was hard to deny that Mark was attractive but she wasn't looking for anything, not even a one night stand but still she was there at Joe's. She spotted Mark over at the bar and stood staring at him.

"Don't do it" said a voice

She turned around to see a blonde stood with a drink in her hand pointing at Mark.

"Why not?"

"You'd be one of many notches and after what I heard you pulled off this week you shouldn't end your time here as a Mark Sloan conquest"

"He's a dog then?" she asked

"He beds co-workers and non co-workers like its an Olympic sport…and it if were he'd take home the gold. You're not interested are you?"

"I'm new to Seattle and he's about the only person who I'm sociable with"

"You're talking to me aren't you?"

"I don't even know who you are. Although I'm assuming a Mark Sloan conquest"

"My name is Skyler McKenzie I'm the head of Ortho and no I'm not a conquest about the only one though"

"Ok so I don't go over there tonight. What do I do?"

"Well we could go somewhere else. I think I want to party with the girl who puts Erica Hahn in her place"

Roxie laughed "Apparently I did a good thing there"

"Oh yeah Hahn needed knocking down a peg or two"

"Ok Skyler lets go"

"Skye…and come on"

The two women left the bar and headed to the nearest establishment where Mark Sloan wasn't. Back in Joe's Mark sat at the bar waiting anxiously for the arrival of Roxie. He was disappointed when he turned to see Derek sitting down beside him.

"She stood you up?" he smirked

"Not yet"

"She stood you up! Face facts the girl was too smart to fall for the Mark Sloan 'charm'. You should have expected this she's different from the usual girls you go after"

"The bars still open she hasn't stood me up we didn't agree to a time"

"Yeah ok so we'll wait then" said Derek smirking at his friend

"I'm here till closing" said Mark sure Roxie would turn up.

THE NEXT DAY

Mark was stood at the nurse's station reading through charts when a weary Roxie approached with a huge coffee in her hand. She sipped at her coffee placed it down and dumped her handbag on the side. Mark stood and stared at her over his chart but Roxie didn't notice. He then moved around the station and placed the chart down beside her. She turned to look and smiled as she saw Mark before her.

"You stood me up" he exclaimed

"No I didn't"

"Yes you did"

"No I didn't"

"Yes you did" Mark said persistently

"To stand you up I would have had to agree to a date with you and I didn't I said I would turn up if I felt the flow. I didn't, sorry"

Mark smirked as Roxie cunningly got out of it with a plausible excuse.

"Ok so if you didn't come to see me last night then where did you go?"

Before Roxie could reply Skye approached the station looking as fatigued as Roxie. Skye reached out and took a drink of Roxie's coffee.

"Ok anyone who can party like that and still turn up ready to work and looking as sickeningly gorgeous as that gets my approval"

Mark looked at Skye and then back at Roxie. "You stood me up to go out on a date with her"

"I didn't stand you up!" she proclaimed with a smile

"I'm going to leave now before my self esteem is truly crushed" he said with a smile as he walked away

Roxie watched him walk away with a smile on her face and she then turned to a very unsteady looking Skye.

"Are you going to be ok?" she asked

"Yeah I'm just going to get some water and food to soak up all the alcohol. It was fun though much better than being sleazed on by Sloan wouldn't you agree?"

"I'd have to be sleazed on by Sloan to make a fully informed decision wouldn't I?"

"Steer clear of him" she said walking away.

Roxie picked up Chuck's chart and headed to his room.

"Hey Chuck how are you feeling?" she asked walking in and placing her things down on the floor

"I have a headache" he stated

"Ok" said Roxie checking his pupils "How's the vision?"

"Still blurred"

"Better or worse than yesterday?"

"Worse"

"Ok"

"What does that mean?" asked Rochelle anxiously

"I'm not neuro but it could mean a number of things it could be something minor or could be something…"

"Serious" said Rochelle finishing her sentence for her

"Rochelle don't worry about it…I'm a…" suddenly Chuck stopped talking and began to seize.

"Chuck" shouted Roxie watching her friend she hit the button and immediately the room filled with aids.

"What happened?" asked a nurse

"He was talking then he just started seizing he complained of a headache as well as deterioration of vision. Someone page Dr Shepherd" she said as the team rolled Chuck on his side.

MOMENTS LATER

The seizure had stopped and Dr Shepherd arrived requesting information which a resident supplied.

"Blurred vision, headache, seizure…Derek" said Roxie worried for her friends health

Derek looked at Roxie and wanted to help her and Chuck's family.

"Mrs Rivera during any of your husbands attacks has he ever taken a bump to the head that showed no external sign of injury"

"Err…I don't know it's possible he collapses and sometimes…Why?"

"Rochelle these symptoms are common with a subdural haematoma" began Roxie

"What is that?" she asked

"Its bleeding in the brain"

"And he got this through falling?"

"Mrs Rivera I have to take your husband to the OR. I'm going to leave you in the capable hands of Roxie to explain things to you but right now I have to take your husband" Rochelle stood nodding her head not quite sure what was happening "Roxie you'll scrub in when you've spoken to her"

Roxie nodded and Derek left the room with Chuck and Roxie sat Rochelle down and explained the situation to her.

"Subdural haematoma is an after effect of a head injury. There doesn't have to be any external damage for a haematoma to appear. It's where a vein is torn and blood gathers. With brain surgery there is always a risk but trust me Chuck is in the best hands and he needs to be in the OR"

"Are you trying to tell me my husband is going to die?"

"No. Rochelle the treatment of a subdural hematoma depends on its size and rate of growth. Small subdural hematomas can be managed by careful monitoring until the body heals itself. Large or symptomatic hematomas require a craniotomy, which is whats happening to Chuck. This is where the surgeon Dr Shepherd opens the skull. Then he will open the dura, remove the blood clot with suction or irrigation, and he will identify and control bleeding. I'm not going to pretend this is cut and dry and that Chuck will be back here in a matter of hours better than ever but if he weren't in the OR he'd be dead in a couple of hours. He is in the best place and best possible hands"

"You're going in there right?"

"Yeah"

"You have to hold his hand. He gets scared he won't ever admit it but when he is he holds my hand. He's got no ones hand to hold"

"I'll hold his hand and I'll come and update as often as I can"

IN THE OR

Roxie walked into the OR and looked at her friend and then at Derek.

"How is he?" she asked

"Come and look at this"

Roxie feared what she may be looking at but as Derek stepped out of place she looked and saw a small bleed. Roxie sighed with relief.

"Thank God. This is manageable right?"

"Yes if we get through the surgery of which I'm optimistic he should make a full recovery and with the top job you did on his heart he should be fine"

Roxie stepped away and took hold of Chuck's hand.

"He's a good guy he doesn't deserve all of this"

"You served together?" asked Derek

"He err… we were deployed together. I was a field medic. I earned by stripes and credentials as I went along when I removed the shrapnel from his heart it was the first time I'd ever seen a human heart"

"That was a little dangerous don't you think?" asked Karev who stood beside Shepherd

"When you're out there and everyone around you getting hurt is someone you know you don't think about them you think about their families. They're all sat home waiting for that day to come when they're told their loved ones won't be returning home. Every time you look at a soldier and his or her injury you just…go with the flow…you do things you've never done before, things you've only ever read about and you're there you're hands are shaking and you can't remember the literature. Yet somehow you remember the important parts and you slowly do the procedure bit by bit until it's done, dealing with the complications as they arise not worrying about the impending complications because you need your focus one hundred percent on the casualty. I did everything you could possibly imagine out there. I did more amputations than I want to remember but that doesn't mean I'm specialised to do so. It just means I needed to do them. So yes Dr Karev it was dangerous but leaving him to die just because it wasn't my speciality would have been wrong. If there wasn't an available neurosurgeon right now to help Chuck does that mean you'd leave him to die?"

"No but I wouldn't crack his head unsupervised either"

"I wasn't unsupervised when I operated on his heart. I had a team of guys surrounding me and one of the army's best cardio guys walking me through it over the radio. Just like I had Dr Patrick in there with me when I did the valve replacement. I don't put people's lives at risk just because I think I can do a surgery but I don't back away just because I've never done the surgery. You'll never get the experience unless you pick up a scalpel"

"Dr Karev if you have finished interrogating and belittling our guest maybe you'd like to take her advice and get some experience because even though I'm opening up a skull most days no two cases are the same"

Karev shot a looked at Roxie and then concentrated on Derek.

LATER

Roxie stood in the doorway of Chuck's room holding her cap in her hand and watching Derek talk to the family. Rochelle began to cry and suddenly she threw her arms around Derek and thanked him excessively. Roxie smiled as she watched Rochelle walk to Chucks side and take hold of his hand. Derek approached the door and Roxie left with him.

"Thank you for taking care of him" she said

"It's my job"

"And you do it well"

"Well thank you" he said with a huge smile on his face "Chuck will be fine I'm sure. I have to go now"

"Ok thanks again" she said watching Derek leave

"Who does she think she is?" said Karev looking over at Roxie directing his question to the collected group of residents. "She's been here only a few days and she's already taken over Hahn's case, told Hahn off and scrubbed in a subdural haematoma case. She doesn't even work here" continued Karev

"I heard she's not even practicing medicine" added Yang

"She was requested to the Rivera case so she's not actually doing anything wrong she hasn't interfered with any other cases. She's just concerned about her friend and from what I heard about Hahn she deserved to be told off. Hahn was upset with being shunned by Mr Rivera and she left Roxie to deal with it. She admits she's inexperienced in both fields. I don't think she's here to try and take over or push anyone out. She'll be leaving when Mr Rivera does anyway" said Meredith defending Roxie

"She's bad news" added Karev

"I agree she says she's inexperienced but she pulled off the valve replacement perfectly and with very little assistance from Dr Patrick. You don't do that with very little experience" added Yang

"Why are you all so worried about her?" asked Stevens "She's not employed here, she's not staying and even if she were how would she be interfering with any of us"

"She's got to be a resident she's too knowledgeable for an intern and if she's a resident then that means she's the competition and with the valve replacement she has got to be in good standing with the chief plus he knows her" said Yang

"You're just worried that if she does come to Seattle Grace that you'll be knocked off the cardio pedestal" stated Stevens

"Even if she did come here she has no chance Hahn hates her" said Yang

"She's not your number one fan either" added Meredith

"She likes me she's just testing me and my love for cardio. I understand that"

"Ok I have to go find Sloan" said Meredith

"Yeah I have to go as well back to OBGYN for Izzie" said Izzie walking away leaving Karev and Yang staring holes into Roxie.

LATER

Roxie was walking through the hospital when she was accompanied by Mark.

"So you stiff my surgery but you have no problem scrubbing in for Dereks?"

"That's right" she smiled "I wouldn't have been in there if it weren't for Chuck"

"I'm offended"

"Well if you were operating on Chuck I'd scrub in but I don't think Chuck's looking for breast implants"

"Is that all you think I do?" asked Mark

"No…face lifts, tummy tucks any other vain obsessions a patient may come to you with"

"Plastics isn't just about vanity"

"Said by a guy who probably takes longer to get ready in a morning than he takes on a surgery"

"I don't just make people beautiful I make their souls beautiful. I heal their souls"

"Their souls are you serious? A woman who wants a double d cup is not in need of a soul healing, maybe a psyche consult"

"Ok today you're on my service"

"I don't work here"

"Stop being so facetious and just do as you're told"

"Again I don't work here. I'm here for Chuck that's all"

"And you're here all day so you have plenty of time on your hands you can leave any time to deal with Chuck but just humour me ok"

Roxie looked at Mark and could see she'd touched a nerve and he was desperate to prove something to her.

"Ok" she agreed

Mark smiled and lead Roxie to his patients room.


	3. Chapter 3

AT THE PATIENTS ROOM

Mark walked into the room followed by Roxie and Meredith.

"Carmen Sharpe, seventeen, arrived with second degree burns. Has been under admittance for fourteen days and has been scheduled for a skin graft in the next few days"

Mark looked at Roxie who was fixated on the young girl before her.

"Miss Sharpe this is Roxie Leoni she's a visitor here at Seattle Grace and she's going to be working with us today am I ok to discuss your circumstances with her?"

"I guess she should know" said the patient expressionless

"This is a case of self mutilation"

Roxie looked at Mark in shock. He then handed her a photo. Roxie looked at the photo.

"This is a picture of Miss Sharpe before the incident" added Meredith

"Miss Sharpe was unhappy with the way she looked and when doctors refused to work on her due to her age she decided this was her only way to get the new face she wanted"

"Why would you do this to yourself?" asked Roxie

"Don't judge me" said the patient

"No judgment everybody makes mistakes but this girl in this photograph she's beautiful" said Roxie handing back the photo whilst looking at the emotionless face of Miss Sharpe trying to guess what her emotion was.

"Ok so this week we'll start working on the plans for your new face. We'll soon be giving you the face you always wanted" he said with a smile

Mark walked out of the room followed by Roxie.

"Well what do you think to plastics now?"

"That girl set fire to herself in order to get a new look and you're trying to justify your service by bragging about this"

"I'm not bragging I'm just telling you we're not just about boob jobs and face lifts this girl was seriously ill to the point of self mutilation and through my service I can help her not only get the look she wants but save her from herself"

"You think it's that simple?"

"Why isn't it?"

"That girl is sat in there thinking she got everything she wanted because of her actions, actions of a sick person"

"Psyche has already cleared her we don't just jump in and do these kind of procedures"

"You don't see it do you? The girl in that photo was beautiful a picture of perfection and the victim in there thinks she's a monster. You can give her another face but that doesn't mean that this time next year she isn't going to be right back here wanting a new face"

"That's ridiculous"

"She set fire to herself. She's a kid. I'm betting you that she's in here because of either a guy who wouldn't date her or dumped her or because of a girl who to make herself feel better decided to pick fault at the gorgeous girl in that picture. She was acting on paranoia and insecurity. Ok so you give her the face she wants. She gets out of here and goes to back to school the first guy to turn her down or the first girl to say a vicious comment will send her right back to where she is now a burn victim with a blank expression. You need to go in there and tell her what she's done is wrong"

"She knows what she did is wrong. She got cleared from psyche"

"Oh from a group of analysing idiots who know jack shit. Psyche doesn't know anything about what these people are going through they can only assume. I'm going to guess this and say they wrote her down as parental pressure or identity crisis. Fact is she's a teenage girl whose hormones are moving faster than her brain. And in this world when she's unhappy she can just walk into a doctor's office and demand he erase her problems, simple as. She needs to know that her actions could have been fatal. She needs to know that she could have mutilated her face permanently and that she is extremely lucky. You also need to inform her that this is going to be a long, slow and agonising process. You need to make sure she isn't expecting to walk out of here in a few weeks with a different face. You also need to make her aware that the face she picks is forever. She can't use fire as an eraser when she's not happy with herself. You need to find out why she did this to herself the full details"

"You need stop. Psyche have done all of this and have written a report and cleared her. My job is to fix her face now" stated Mark before walking off.

A WHILE LATER

Roxie entered the patients room and handed her the picture from her file.

"What didn't you like about her?"

The patient looked at the photo and threw it down

"I'm not Dr Sloan I'm not running from patient to patient so I have all the time in the world. And if I have to sit here all day I will"

Roxie sat down on the chair and sat staring at the patient.

"She had a bump in her nose, a baby butt chin, thin lips, no cheekbones, droopy eyes, cab door ears and her hairline was wrong" said Miss Sharpe

"Miss Sharpe…"

"Carmen, my name is Carmen"

"Ok Carmen tell me why you feel that girl in the picture isn't beautiful?"

"I just told you!"

"No you told me what you thought was wrong with her. A bump in her nose, a baby butt chin, thin lips, no cheekbones, droopy eyes, cab door ears and her hairline was wrong. I asked why you feel that girl isn't beautiful" A silence filled the air "I think the girl in that picture is beautiful. I think anyone who thinks otherwise is just picking spots"

Roxie then reached into her bag and pulled out her diary she then pulled a photo out of her bag and handed it to Carmen.

"Who are they?"

"My sisters they all love themselves especially her" she said pointing to a beautiful blonde on the picture "And for what she's paid to look like that she should be happy. There's more plastic on her than Barbie. There is nothing left on her body that is natural. She's had everything and anything you can imagine. She's been nipped, tucked, lifted, enhanced, dyed, glued…you know the worst thing?"

"What?"

"She was the most beautiful girl before her obsession for perfection kicked in. She was perfect then all these girls appeared all blonde and tanned and perky and decided she had to be like them to compete. She didn't and trust me she looked so much better before the surgeries. I know your circumstances are different you need the surgery at this point but the girl in that picture…she didn't need it. I think you know this and I think I have a suspicion as to why you're here today with us, second degree burns and a hellish recovery ahead of you. A guy looked at another girl, a girl that you consider to be the image of perfection and now you think you have to be like her to stand a chance. Am I close?"

"I've been dating the same guy since I was eleven. Then out of nowhere he dumps me and I find out its because the hottest girl in the school had a crush on him. So he dumped me and went with her. And this girl is…"

"Perfect?"

"Yeah and I know what you're thinking I'm overreacting and this girl can't be that gorgeous but she is…"

Carmen reached into the drawer beside her bed and pulled out a yearbook and opened the page pointing to a beautiful girl.

"She's pretty no doubt about it…she's not perfect though. And looking at it that perfection you're jealous of is a morning of hard work and application of make up. The girl in the picture she was naturally beautiful and guys…" at that time Mark walked in "…they think with one thing and when that one thing is stumped they turn to their friends and follow a trend she's the hot flavour right now in a few weeks she'll be old news and they'll all be trying to get with another girl"

"Roxie…" said Mark

"All I'm saying Carmen is right now she's your image of perfection but this time next year she won't be. When you're picking your face you need to remember this because the face you choose is the face you'll have for the rest of your life. It's not a decision to be taken lightly or rushed into because you want to look like someone else"

"Roxie can I speak to you?" Mark interrupted

Roxie left the room followed by Mark.

"What are you doing?" he asked

"I'm talking to her and I was right this is about a guy. The boyfriend dumped her for some little tramp and now she wants to look like this girl because she feels this is the only way she'll ever get what she wants"

"This is my patient and I know what is best for her I wouldn't be going through with this if I didn't feel she was ready to make these decisions. I'm going to be with her all the way through this process and I will be there to offer advice and ideas"

"This girls not ready"

"You know what Roxie I brought you here to show you that this wasn't as vain are you thought but all you're doing is making this simple process more difficult. This girl made a mistake a foolish mistake that she fully understands and takes responsibility for. She has been through rigorous psychological analysis and has been cleared. Now together we're going to pick a face she can live with and I won't stop until she's happy. I know my patient and I know what is best for her so maybe you should leave and take your opinions with you"

"Fine! Just ask yourself though Mark, why are you really throwing me out of here?"

Roxie walked back into the room and collected her things and moments later she emerged and walked away.

TRAUMA ROOM ONE

Skye was stood examining her patient as the patient rambled on.

"Does this hurt?" asked Skye

"Oww" shrieked the patient

"Mrs Marlow you have a distal radius fracture its quite a severe break I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you into surgery to correct this"

"Surgery? It's just a broken wrist can't I just have a cast on?"

"The break is too severe for just a cast I need to realign the bone before I put the cast on otherwise you may not get full function back"

"Oh I better have the surgery then" she said

Skye then noticed a blood stain on the pillow she looked closer to see that she was bleeding from the back of her head.

"Mrs Marlow did you bang your head when you fell down the stairs?" asked Skye

"Err not that I can remember no"

"Can someone page Dr Shepherd please?"

"When I have my surgery will it hurt my baby?" asked Mrs Marlow

"You're pregnant"

"Yes" she replied with a huge smile

"Can someone page OBGYN as well please?"

"What is that for?" asked Mrs Marlow

"You're pregnant and you fell down the stairs Mrs Marlow we need to check that the baby is ok. Also you have a head injury so I have called for Dr Shepherd who is our head of neuro. When we have the all clear from Dr Shepherd and OB I will take you into surgery to correct your wrist until then I have to stabilise it and elevate it"

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

The door opened and in walked a tall, handsome man.

"Hello…" he said taking the chart from the nurse "Mrs Marlow, I'm Dr Tatum I'll be your OBGYN"

Skye looked at the gorgeous in front of her she'd never seen him before and she knew he was the kind of guy you wouldn't forget meeting.

"A male gyno? How strange!" said Mrs Marlow

"Not as strange as you would think. Now can you tell me how far along you are?"

"Fifteen weeks"

"And why are you here today?"

"I fell down the stairs. It was stupid really I was carrying a basket of laundry that I couldn't see over I'd been cleaning through and left the vacuum out I tripped over the hose and just went rolling down the stairs"

"And what injuries has she sustained Dr…" Dr Tatum looked at the white coat "…McKenzie?"

"She has a distal radius fracture" replied Skye "You're new?" asked Skye

"Yeah I'm the new head of OB Channing Tatum" he said extending his hand

"Skyler McKenzie head of Ortho" she replied shaking his hand

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Skye and Channing walked out of the room.

"The baby appears to be fine but when you do go into surgery I would like to be in there and have the baby on a fetal monitor just to be cautious in case the trauma is delayed"

"Ok no problem" said Skye

"So Ortho that's hardcore"

"So am I" she replied

Tatum smiled as his pager went off he checked his pager and excused himself. Skyler watched him walk away.

"Who was that?" asked Callie as she approached Skye

"That is the new head of OB"

"Him?"

"Oh that cannot be right. If you had him there in the delivery room you'd be wondering why he wasn't the daddy"

Skye smiled "Just what the hospital needs another male"

"You can't exactly complain about him can you?" said Callie admiring the view before he left the room

"Looks are fleeting Dr Torres the ego lasts a lifetime. Anyway…" said Skye turning to her Ortho resident "Mrs Marlow has a distal radius fracture and cannot go into surgery until neuro has cleared her so she needs to be stabilised and elevated and I have a surgery so can you take over from me please?"

"Sure"

"Thanks" she said walking away.

SURGICAL FLOOR

Skyler was making her way to surgery when she noticed Roxie. She walked over to her tying her cap as she did.

"Hey"

Roxie turned to see Skye "Hi"

"You ok?" she asked

"No…Yeah! I don't know what I'm feeling. Mark begged me to be on his case then I gave my opinion and he kicked me out"

"Men don't like to be told anything Roxie don't you know this?"

"He's making a mistake with his patient though"

"You don't work here so why worry about it? If Sloan makes a mistake he's be liable not you" Skye could see that Roxie really was worried about this "If you're worried though maybe you should go see the chief"

"Maybe I should"

"Ok I have to go I'm late for surgery"

"Ok see you later"

A WHILE LATER

Roxie was sat in the cafeteria reading a magazine and stabbing her salad. Across the room were Grey, Yang, Stevens, Karev and O'Malley.

"So now she's shouting at Sloan telling him how to do his job?" asked Yang

"No she wasn't shouting at him and she wasn't telling him he was doing a bad job…well actually she did but not in a callous way in a protective way like she was advising him. And she had some good points I mean this girl has to be seriously screwed up in the head to do that and it doesn't take anything to lie to psyche she could have got herself cleared in order to rush the surgery and Roxie might be right she could be back here in a year requesting a new face" said Meredith once again defending Roxie

"Sloan's not an idiot though he wouldn't do the surgery if she weren't ready" added Karev

"So she thinks she's a cardio god, a brain surgeon and plastic surgeon. Does anyone know exactly what her specialty is?" asked Yang

The residents continued to stare at Roxie as Mark began to approach the table.

"Oh, oh, oh here we go it's about to pick up" said Yang excitedly waiting for Sloan to put Roxie in her place

Mark sat down and put the charts in front of Roxie who didn't look up from her magazine.

"They're Carmen's potential faces" he said getting no reply "She had specific ideas she hardly my help" again came no reply "Roxie come on this isn't about us this is about a teenage girl"

Roxie put down the magazine and looked at the faces and smiled shaking her head as she put them down. She leaned over and retrieved the stolen yearbook from Carmen and opened it to the page pointing at the same girl Carmen had shown her.

"Look familiar?" she asked proudly

Mark couldn't believe what he was looking at. He was looking at a striking resemblance to the faces he and Carmen had planned earlier in the day.

"I don't believe it"

"Plastics is vain if it weren't you'd be out of a job. That's not taking away from what you do for the people individually even the vainest of people who don't need the work done and who are gorgeous before they began psychologically they need it, they need you. They need therapy too but the face lifts the boob jobs if you didn't do them they all have the potential to turn into Carmen and harm themselves"

"Is this an apology?" he asked

"You were the one that shouted at me"

"Ok let me make it up to you tonight, drinks at Joes"

"I don't think so" she replied

"Why not?"

"Because I'm nobodies notch" she said standing up and walking away from Mark leaving him alone in the cafeteria

"Ok why does he look like the puppy who's been whacked on the nose with a rolled up newspaper?" asked Yang

LATER

Roxie was waiting for Skye's arrival for another night of Mark free fun. The elevator opened and Derek appeared.

"Roxie I'm assuming you've checked in on Chuck but I thought you'd like to know he's doing fine"

"Thanks"

"So what are your plans for the evening?"

"Me and Dr McKenzie are going to hit a few bars"

"Mark will be disappointed"

"He'll cope and no doubt find another conquest"

Derek laughed at the fact that in a small amount of time she had sussed out Mark. "No doubt. Well if you and Dr McKenzie feel like hitting Joe's I should be there for a while"

"Thanks for the invite"

Derek smiled and walked away. The elevator opened once again and Skye appeared along with Mark who stared at Roxie.

"I'll be at Joe's if you change your mind" he stated before smiling and walking away

"You have to admit he's persistent" stated Roxie watching him leave and admiring the view

"Yeah he's definitely that along with a lot of other things"

"Goodnight Dr McKenzie" said a familiar voice

Skye looked up and smiled as she saw Dr Tatum.

"Goodnight to you too Dr Tatum"

Channing smiled at her as he walked away.

"Dr Tatum?" asked Roxie

"He's the new head of the gyno squad"

"He's hot"

"Yes he is!" agreed Skye "But I'm not going there" she said walking away

"Can I go there?" asked Roxie following her

Skye smiled and the two women left the hospital in hopes of an enjoyable night outside the hospital walls.

REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED!!


	4. Chapter 4

LATER THAT NIGHT

Skye and Roxie walked into the bar in a huge bundle of giggles. People turned to see who had entered including an excited Sloan and Tatum. Skye excused herself to go to the rest room. Roxie looked over at the bar where Mark was once again sat alone. She had noticed that the two times she'd been in there he was sat alone at the bar not the typical actions of a 'dog' as he'd been deemed by Skye. She approached the bar and his smile got wider as she did.

"Can I get two beers and single malt please?" she asked Joe

"Couldn't resist the offer hah?" asked a cocky Mark

"No I couldn't" the drinks then arrived and Roxie laid down the money and walked away from the bar.

A bewildered Mark watched as she made her way over to Derek who was sat with Meredith.

"Hi"

"Hello" replied Derek

"I just wanted to buy you a drink as a thank you for Chuck"

"Oh thank you that wasn't necessary though"

"If you knew how much he was loved by everyone in his life you'd know it's not nearly enough. Thanks again" she said turning to walk away

"Would you like to join us?" asked Derek

Roxie turned around and saw the disgruntled glares from the residents. Roxie smiled to herself.

"Thanks but I'm going to stay near the source of the alcohol"

"Propped up at the bar then?"

"I'll need to be in one more drink"

Roxie walked away much to the residents delight and she walked back over to the bar where Mark was sat looking into his drink. She pulled up a stool and sat beside him.

"Derek? You came to see Derek?"

"I came to thank Derek"

"So what does a guy have to do to get you to agree to a drink?" asked Mark

"Ask me for just a drink" Mark looked baffled "When you ask me for a drink I can see the whole dirty night in your eyes"

"What's wrong with that?" he asked with a mischievous grin

Roxie wanted to answer him but at that moment in time she couldn't think of a reason why that dirty night was such a bad idea.

ACROSS THE ROOM

Skye reappeared from the rest room and saw Roxie with Mark and shook her head she knew she couldn't hold out and that Mark would eventually get what he wanted. Skye was just about to go and break up the duo when Channing reached out and grabbed Skye's arm. Skye turned and smiled as she saw him.

"Dr Tatum"

"Call me Chan please"

"Ok Chan"

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asked

Skye looked over at her friend who was occupied and smiled to Chan.

"Yeah that would be nice"

LATER THAT NIGHT

Roxie and Mark were walking down a corridor and they reached a door. Roxie turned around to Mark who was gleefully smiling in hopes that he would get through the door. Roxie smiled back.

"It's never going to happen" she stated

"What?" he asked innocently

"You're not coming in Dr Sloan"

"I wasn't trying to"

"You've been trying since I arrived"

"It's all in your head I'm afraid. I have this effect on women they imagine a relationship that's not there. They get an infatuation it's a curse being me"

Roxie laughed to herself

"Good job I'm strong willed then. Goodnight Mark"

"No kiss?" he asked with a smile on his face

"No, no kiss" she said turning and unlocking the door. "Goodnight" she said walking inside and closing the door behind her.

Mark stood for a moment on the other side and shook his head in disbelief as he'd been sure he was going to get an invite. He then walked away as Roxie watched on through the spy hole. She then smiled and turned walking into the main part of the room.

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie was walking into the hospital when she heard a call from behind.

"Roxie!" shouted Skye running after her.

She finally approached her "What happened to you last night?" asked Roxie

"Me?" she asked confused "You were the one that sloped off with Sloan. So how does it feel being a notch?"

"I'm not a notch. Nothing happened"

"Yeah of course not"

"Nothing happened trust me. He walked me to my room and then left. Not by his choice but he still left" she smiled "And you and Dr Tatum?"

"We just had a few drinks. I didn't think I was allowed in the Mark Sloan sleaze club"

"Free membership" she laughed "You know I don't know why you have this negative opinion of him. Ok he's been flirtatious but he's not been sleazy with it"

"Give him time"

"Have you had a Sloan experience?" asked Roxie

"Every woman has had a Sloan experience"

The two women approached the elevator and waited. It finally arrived and they walked inside and before the doors had chance to close they were joined by Derek and Mark.

"Morning ladies" said Derek

"Morning" they both replied

Mark stared at Roxie "Did you sleep well?" he asked

"Like a baby thanks for asking" she replied

The doors opened and Skye exited "I'll see you later Roxie"

"Bye"

"So is it a habit you have?" he continued

"What?"

"Leading guys on and then leaving them on the wrong side of the door"

"I didn't lead you on"

"Oh you lead me on"

"How?"

"Being a woman usually does it" interrupted Derek

Roxie laughed "Oh then I'm guilty"

"Keep out of this Derek this is between me and the tease"

The elevator doors opened and Derek departed.

"Good luck Roxie" said Derek walking away the doors then closed again leaving Mark and Roxie alone.

Before another word could be said Mark pushed her against the wall of the elevator. Roxie smiled as she knew Mark wouldn't go through with it. The duo stared each other out until the doors opened on the elevator and Roxie pushed her way out followed by Mark.

"Tease" exclaimed Mark walking one way

"Man whore" exclaimed Roxie walking the other way

"Roxie!!" shouted Richard

Roxie stopped and turned to see Richard approaching "Richard hi"

"You haven't given me an answer yet about what we discussed the other day"

FLASHBACK

Roxie walked into Richard's office and sat down as directed by the chief.

"I think you know why I've asked you here"

"Yeah I have a suspicion I just hope I'm wrong"

"We need a surgeon of your calibre here at Seattle Grace"

"I wasn't wrong" she said to herself

"Roxie I know that you don't want this but I think you're just being selfish"

"Selfish?"

"You have a skill, an amazing skill and you're not sharing it with the world. You could be saving lives on a daily basis instead you're running a bar"

"By choice Richard"

"I know and I can understand your reasons but you were given those talents to use them for good. They're not being used in a bar"

"I don't want to work in a hospital. I've been here a few days and already nearly lost my friend"

"But you saved him. You gave him and his family the greatest gift and you could be doing this on a regular basis with hundreds of families so why are you depriving those families?"

"Guilt trips won't work with me"

"You can't honestly sit there and tell me that you're satisfied at the bar. That you get the same thrill behind that bar as you do in the OR or out on duty with the army?"

Roxie looked at Richard he was right she couldn't tell him that she got the same thrill. There was nothing that could compare to what she did in an OR.

"Its not that I don't enjoy doing this it's just that…I saw all that destruction out there and I fought and worked because I felt I was doing it for the right reasons. Fighting for my country then I get back here and get myself a job at a hospital because its all I know how to do. My first day this kid rolled out in front of me she looked like she'd been hit by a truck…she hadn't she'd been hit by her father. Hours later her mother was found unconscious in the hallway because her dad had given her a beating too. I had been out there putting soldiers back together and sending them off to fight for their country and the citizens of their country are beating the crap out of each other. I didn't leave because I didn't love the job I left because I couldn't deal with seeing all that self destruction, what they were doing to themselves and knowing what I'd left out there and what all those guys and girls were going through to defend these jackasses"

"I understand this but that is a small minority. There are a lot of good people getting ill and getting hurt just like your friend who need a good doctor to look after them. Roxanne you're one of the best and I want you here at Seattle Grace as the head of General Surgery"

"You're going to take orders off of me?" she asked

"I take orders off of nobody. At least promise me you'll think about it"

"I promise I'll think about it but don't hold your breath"

END OF FLASHBACK

"So Roxie what is your answer?" asked Richard

Roxie looked at Richard and rolled her eyes and sighed.

LATER

Roxie was sat on the floor in the middle of the corridor staring into space as people walked by her. The door opened from the stairwell and Derek appeared. He looked at Roxie with confusion and sat down beside her. Roxie snapped out of her daze and looked at Derek who smiled at her.

"Hi" he said

"How do you deal with the people who don't deserve the treatment?"

"Excuse me?" he asked even more confused

"The bad guys who get hurt and rolled in here and they need your help how do you treat them and not leave them to die?"

"I feel dying is the easy way out for them and that they should pay for their crimes so I fight and fight to bring them back to good health not because I'm a doctor and I took an oath but because I'm a human being who believes in subsequent punishment"

"That's a good way of looking at"

"Why do you ask?"

"Richard offered me a job. I haven't worked in a hospital in four years"

"Why so long?"

"Just couldn't do it I was in a bad place personally and I just couldn't bring myself to give treatment to those people. I love being a surgeon I love cutting people open and holding their lives in my hands. It is the most amazing rush but I have a habit of getting too involved and if a case were to come to me where I was treating I don't know…a rapist…I don't know how I'd deal with it. Richard wants an answer by the end of the day and I don't have one"

"I have an idea" said Derek which intrigued Roxie

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Derek opened the door Roxie walked inside to meet Dr Karev and his interns.

"Dr Leoni this is Edward Neilson or as his friends call him Eddie Nails because he has a disturbing habit of hammering nails into his victims heads"

"What?"

"Eddie is a referral from the penitentiary. Want to hear the irony of this case Dr Leoni?"

"Sure"

"Eddie Nails who hammers nails into his victims heads for pleasure is here today with a tumour"

"You're kidding? Karma is a bitch after all"

"You know pretty you're getting a little smug over there" said Eddie

"How many victims?"

"Twenty nine at last count I'm looking to make it an even thirty though"

"Yeah well I'm still looking for my first victim and I'm not a neurosurgeon but Dr Shepherd here is going to let me loose anyway so it's your choice whether my hands slip or not"

"I don't want no little woman in my surgery"

"That embarrassment because I'll be looking at the second smallest thing you got?"

"Women should do as they're told and look pretty while doing it" replied Eddie

"Well Eddie even if I do say so myself I'm hot and I have no problem taking orders from the neuro guy when I'm in there with your brain under the microscope"

Dr Shepherd smiled and looked over at his resident "Dr Karev and his interns will be looking after you today Eddie and prepping you for surgery" Derek then opened the door. "Dr Leoni shall we leave?"

"See you later Eddie" she said turning and leaving the room

"I don't think you will have any problems dealing with the bad guys. You really showed him what you'd got. I don't know whether that was a smart thing to do but you didn't take any of his crap so well done"

"Thanks"

"You'll scrub in later?"

"Oh I wouldn't miss this for anything in world"

Derek then walked away and Roxie turned straight into Mark.

"You're scrubbing in on another one of Derek's surgeries? If I weren't so certain that you were in love with me I might be jealous"

"You think a lot of yourself Dr Sloan"

"I've noticed the way you look at me with that look of lust and longing"

Roxie laughed "Ok Sloan…"

"Leoni"

"…The flirting it's interesting and I'm sure the dirty night would be just that. What's the thrill for you?"

"Thrill?"

"Is it the chase, the conquest, the fact you can be super brass because you know I'm going home…what is it?"

Mark stalled for a moment looking all around him as if checking that no ones looking "You…you're the thrill"

"Is that an honest answer?"

"Yes"

"Now why am I the thrill? Because I'm incredibly hot, because I'm incredibly skilled or because I don't want you?"

"A little of all three"

"What if I weren't to leave how long would this go on for until you lost interest?"

"I wouldn't lose interest"

"Would I be one of a million or one in a million?"

"You mean would I sleep around whilst pursuing you?"

"Yeah that's exactly what I mean"

"I guess you'd have to be sticking around to find that out"

"I guess so"

"So what about it? Me, you an official date tonight?"

"Let me think about it"

"See you're infatuated yesterday that would have been a clear 'no'" he said with a smile

Roxie walked away as Mark smiled to himself knowing that he was getting to her and was finally breaking her.

ROOM 2317

Skye was checking on her patient Mrs Marlow after the surgery on her wrist. She was checking the cast when the door opened and Dr Tatum arrived.

"Hello Dr McKenzie"

"Dr Tatum" she said continuing with her checks

"Last night was interesting"

"No last night was a mistake that won't be happening again"

"Ok. Can I take you to dinner?"

Skye looked at Chan "Were you not listening?"

"Yeah I was but I thought that was just for the benefit of Mrs Marlow's subconscious"

"No Dr Tatum…" she said standing "It wasn't. It was fact, it won't be happening again" she said heading for the door

"Shame a night like that should really be repeated"

Without looking back Skye opened the door and walked out leaving Dr Tatum behind closed doors. She sighed knowing her actions were wrong even though they felt so right. She shook her head as if trying to dislodge the memories of the previous night. She walked away and Chan smiled as he watched her walked away through the blinds.

IN THE SCRUB ROOM

Derek, Alex and Roxie were scrubbing out after Eddie Nails surgery.

"You both did an excellent job in there" said Derek "How did that feel Roxie?" he asked referring to their conversation earlier the day

"Easier than I thought"

"So it helped?"

"Yeah it did"

"Good" he said wiping his hands and leaving the room.

Alex and Roxie continued to scrub out. Alex looked over at Roxie and exhaled. Roxie looked at Alex and finally sick of the sneers, jeers and looks from the residents she confronted him.

"What is your problem?"

"You walk in here and you alienate people, the people you don't alienate you persuade into letting you scrub in to surgeries that aren't yours and that you do no works towards. You're walking around here like you're Gods gift to medicine taking your slice of all the different specialties. Flirting you way into them"

"Flirting my way in?"

"Yeah some of us have busted our asses to get where we are and you just walk in and immediately you're getting the good surgeries"

"Dr Karev I think that before opening your pretty little mouth you should get your facts straight. It saves you making an ass of yourself"

"I'm just standing up to you unlike the rest of the residents"

"Is that what this is? You're afraid I'm the favourite resident getting all the good surgeries. Karev I'm not getting the good surgeries and I'm not the favourite resident. For one thing I'm an attending and for another I am the new head of general surgery so I will be making a change so I do get some good surgeries. So maybe you want to run back to your little friends and tell them this then they can prepare themselves to kiss my ass as residents do. Now who's alienating people Dr Karev?"

Roxie smiled and walked out of the room leaving Karev regretting his actions after finding out he'd just yelled at one of the attendings.

REVIEWS APPRECIATED


	5. Chapter 5

THE NEXT DAY

Shepherd, Sloan, Hahn, Grey, Karev, Yang, Stevens, O'Malley and Bailey were stood on the walk way watching as Roxie signed her contract and shook hands with the chief to seal the deal.

"So she's really staying?" asked Sloan in disbelief

"Well if not it's a hell of a commute" joked Shepherd

"She's an attending?" asked Stevens already knowing the answer

"She's too young to be an attending" stated O'Malley

"Are you trying to say we're old O'Malley?" asked Hahn

"No, no not at all. It's just she can't be any older than us" he said trying to explain

"She's the head of general surgery? I have to take my orders from a tater tot?" said a disgruntled Bailey

"She told me to tell my fellow residents to prepare to kiss her ass" Karev informed

"Kiss her ass?" shrieked Bailey "I may kick it but there will be no kissing of her ass" said Bailey storming off

"Oh this should be fun" smiled Karev

The door opened and Roxie came out as she did the residents split and headed in all directions as the attendings stood waiting. Roxie walked over to them and smiled.

"You're an attending?" asked Hahn

"Yeah"

"So what the whole Rivera situation was a big joke to you?" asked Hahn

"No the Rivera situation was deadly serious. You didn't do your job right and I still don't want you on his case"

"I'd like to say it's a pleasure to have you here but I'd be lying"

"And I'd like to say its an honour to work with you but its not" retaliated Roxie as Hahn walked away

"Congratulations" said Derek smiling and walking away leaving Roxie and Mark alone.

"You're an attending?" he asked

"For the last time yes!"

"You couldn't have told me this?"

"You didn't ask and my profession was your last concern"

"Still not that bothered to be honest" he said with a smile

"So now that I am here for good am I one of a million or one in a million?" she asked

"Now that you're here for good will you go out on date with me?"

"What do you call a date?"

"Me, you and alcohol"

"Sounds fun but not my definition of a date"

"And what would your definition be?"

"Me and you and dinner…and a little bit of alcohol"

"I don't know if I can stretch to dinner" joked Mark

"No dinner, no date" she stated with a smile before walking away leaving Mark behind with a grin

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

"Dr Leoni I will be taking OR two and Karev and Yang are with me" said Bailey walking away

"You must be Bailey?"

"Yeah that's me" said Bailey stopping and looking at Roxie

"You can have OR two and Yang but Karev he's mine"

Bailey looked at Karev and then at Roxie and nodded her head

"Ok Karev you're with Dr Leoni"

Roxie smiled "Oh this is going to be fun"

A WHILE LATER

Roxie and Karev along with his interns entered a room. As soon as you opened the door the smell hit you like a ton of bricks. Karev and the interns tried to hide their disgust.

"Oh I know the smell is just vile. I know I'm sorry"

"Ma'am don't worry about it you can't help it and trust me as doctors we've seen and smelt worse" said Roxie reassuring the patient "Karev present"

"Millie Aldridge, 43, suffers with Hyperthyroidism…"

"Which is what Dr Karev?"

"Hyperthyroidism occurs when the thyroid gland is too active and produces an excess of thyroid hormones. This makes the body's functions speed up and leads to symptoms such as shaking, weight loss and anxiety"

"Other symptoms Dr Karev?"

Karev shot a look at Roxie knowing he was going to be paying for his insolence for the rest of the day.

"Other symptoms may include poor sleeping patterns, excessive perspiration, fatigue, muscle weakness, increased heart rate or palpitations, diarrhoea, shortness of breath, hair loss"

"Which do you think Mrs Aldridge is suffering from?"

"Diarrhoea, perspiration and looking at her chart she's suffering from increased heart rate"

"Continue with her run down"

"Mrs Aldridge has had all available treatments and was non responsive to them all"

"Next course of action?"

"A thyroidectomy"

"Which is?"

"An operation where all or part of the thyroid gland is surgically removed"

"Because you're such a clever boy Dr Karev you're assigned to this case. As Mrs Aldridge is suffering terribly you will be her twenty four seven doctor. You will be here around the clock until Mrs Aldridge is discharged. You will help with every aspect of Mrs Aldridge's needs whether personal or medical"

"What about my interns?"

"Don't worry Dr Karev I will look after them for you. Mrs Aldridge I know that you're extremely uncomfortable and I will try to get you into surgery as soon as possible the next available slot is yours"

"Thank you Dr Leoni"

Roxie along with Karev's interns then left. Karev looked around the room and cursed the fact that the windows were sealed shut.

"She doesn't like you very much?"

"Well I made the mistake of pissing her off"

"And your punishment is me?"

Karev smiled and frustrated he rested his hands on his hips.

LATER

Roxie was stood at the nurse's station writing up charts when she was joined by a distracted Skye who stood next to Roxie without saying a word.

"Hello" said Roxie trying to get Skye's attention.

"I slept with Chan" she blurted out

"I agreed to a date with Mark" said Roxie trying to make Skye feel better

"Are you an idiot?" said Skye

"Coming from the slutty attending who slept with the new male gyno"

"It's never going to happen again"

"You said it was never going to happen in the first place"

Skye gave Roxie a cold look for pointing out the facts

"Hello ladies" said Chan as he approached the duo

"I have to go" said Skye dismissing herself

"She's avoiding me"

"I know"

"You have a pregnant lady with breast cancer?" asked Chan

"Yeah she's thirty two weeks but she needs to start the treatment as soon as possible. I need to know if its safe to deliver the baby by caesarean"

"I'll need to do some checks on both the baby and the mama but if all the tests are normal the baby is fine to be delivered at thirty two it will need a lot of TLC but in these circumstances it's the best thing for both parties"

"Ok thanks here is her chart"

"Ok I'll get right on this" he said turning away but suddenly stopping and turning back to Roxie "Tell Skye that if she wants a repeat I'll be at Joe's tonight after work" he smiled and walked away

"Who is that?" asked Mark appearing just in time to watch the hot new doc walk away

"He's the new head of gyno"

"He's the new gyno?"

"Yeah"

"He's a guy"

"Wow nothing gets past you does it?" asked Roxie sarcastically

Mark smiled and moved in "Dinner, I can stretch to dinner"

"When?"

"Tonight after work"

"Ok it's a date" she said walking away

"Can I get that in writing?" asked Mark sarcastically

LATER

Roxie walked into Chucks room with a smile on her face as she saw her friend sitting in the chair.

"Wow the chair seriously?"

"Seriously doc"

"You heard?"

"Dr Shepherd here has been telling me everything"

"Really wow Dr Shepherd had no right" she said with a smile

"So you're dating McSteamy?" asked Chuck

"McWhat?" asked Roxie

"It's the hospital nickname for Dr Sloan your new boyfriend"

"I am not dating Dr Sloan well not until tonight anyway" she smiled cheekily "McSteamy really?" she asked Derek who smiled

"You will all be happy to hear that Chuck is brilliant. There have been no complications he's aced all the tests I've thrown at him. I see him making a fast and full recovery. When Roxie is happy with your heart you can go home"

"When will you be happy with his heart?" asked Rochelle

"Things at this point look good, if they continue like this I will discharge him by the end of the week but for now we're just going carry on monitoring him. I'm not trying to keep you captive Chuck I just want to make sure you're ok"

"Thank you both"

Derek and Roxie left the room and Roxie noticed that Derek looked a little upset.

"Are you ok?"

"I can't talk to you about it you're not leaving anymore" he said with a forced smile

"But you're getting the chance to get to know me now"

Derek smiled again and relented to his better judgement just in need of someone to speak to.

"Meredith is pushing me away"

"In what way?"

"It's like she only wants me for one thing and she has her friends covering all the other bases. She just won't let me take care of her"

"Maybe she doesn't want to show you that side of her"

"I've seen that side of her. It's just every time we get closer, just a little bit closer to happiness she creates a problem by running away, or pushing me away. It seems she's trying to do anything she can to not commit to me"

"And commitment is all you want"

"Yes unfortunately I'm past the playing games time"

"Was that a dig at me and Mark?"

Derek laughed "No Mark will never grow out of it and its fun watching someone run him around for a change"

"I agreed to a date"

"Oh you let the team down"

Roxie smiled "Hey don't worry he's not getting as lucky as he hopes. As for Meredith maybe she loves you too much to let you in"

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes when you really love someone you push them away and refuse to let them in through fear of losing them. For some reason you think if you don't let them in and just keep it a sexual thing it won't hurt if they leave. Doesn't work like that but that's the mentality" Derek smiled wondering if the words she'd spoken had any truth to them. Suddenly Derek's pager went off and he excused himself thanking Roxie before he left.

LATER

Skye walked out of a patients room and over to Roxie who was stacked with charts. She helped her friend with the charts placing them down on the counter.

"This is ridiculous!" they heard a scream and Karev appeared wearing a plastic apron. He walked over to Roxie with a look of fury.

"You think you're smart giving me the ever erupting volcano and telling the nurses not to help me"

"Karev this is what we call experience"

"You may get away with talking to Hahn the way you did but you're not going to make an idiot out of me. You and Mrs Aldridge can go to hell. I'm going back to Bailey" he said taking off the apron and walking away throwing away the apron as he did.

"What did you do to him?" asked Skye

Before Roxie could reply they were interrupted by a delivery guy.

"I'm looking for Skyler McKenzie"

"That's me" she said sceptically

The delivery guy handed her a huge bouquet of roses. Roxie stole the card as Skye signed for them and looked at them in awe.

"Had a great time with you Dr McKenzie hope to 'repeat' the night" said Roxie reading the card "He's not very subtle is he?"

"He's not trying to be" she replied dumping the roses on the side and taking the card out of Roxie's hands before storming off.

IN THE ON CALL ROOM

Skye burst into the on call room slamming the door and waking a sleeping Chan. He smiled as he saw Skye before him and he stood up. His shirtless physique at perfect level for Skye to admire. Skye shook her head and concentrated on the reason she was there.

"You had no right to send those flowers"

"Oh" said Chan realising he wasn't going to get thanked "You know most women would thank the guy for such beautiful flowers"

"I told you there wouldn't be a repeat why can't you get that into your head?"

"Because you didn't mean it" he stated moving closer backing Skye against the door. He reached down and locked the door

"I meant every word"

"Uh huh" he said moving in and kissing her on the lips. Skye couldn't help but kiss him back. Chan's hands gripped at her scrubs and pulled off her shirt. He then lifted her and she wrapped her legs around him as he carried her over to the bed.

LATER

The on call room door opened and Skye walked out fixing her hair soon followed by Chan who shoved Skye's panties in his pocket.

AT THE SCRUB ROOM

After being sent back to Roxie by Bailey Alex scrubbed in on the thyroidectomy begrudgingly. After the successful surgery both Roxie and Karev were scrubbing out. The silence and tension were thick in the room. Roxie smiled and shook her head.

"You're like a child you know that?" stated Roxie

"No I'm a surgeon, a pissed off surgeon who has been playing nanny to a forty three year old woman"

"She couldn't help her condition"

"No she couldn't but it wasn't my job to change her"

"Ok no it wasn't but after the way you spoke to me you had it coming. And after spending the day with the ever erupting volcano as you so delicately put it you thought you would have learnt your lesson but here you are again raising you voice to me. Karev if you want to continue to aggravate me go ahead because I can find you plenty more cases like today and make you miserable in your work until you either quit the profession or drop the chip on your shoulder…what happens next is…."

Roxie was cut off as Karev stepped forward and took her by surprise kissing her fully on the lips. Roxie knew she shouldn't be kissing Karev but as the kiss lingered the more captivated she became she soon found herself wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him in closer. As Karev got closer to her she felt the urge to rip off all his clothes and soon found her hands wandering underneath his scrubs and gently grazing against his defined abdomen. Karev pulled away and looked at her he then kissed her again and walked out of the room. Roxie gripped at the basin and licked her lips. She then left the room and rampaged down the corridor and burst into the on call room where she knew she would find Karev. He stood there with his shirt off he approached her backing her against the door and locking it. His lips pressing hard against hers his hands were quick to help her out of her scrubs they then both fell back onto the bed.

LATER

Roxie hid out of sight but so she could see as she watched the residents and attendings leave for the night. Mark appeared from the elevator and waited patiently for Roxie's arrival. Roxie's heart sank as Karev emerged from the elevator and walked past Mark with a huge satisfied smile on his face. Roxie shook her head and sighed she couldn't believe what she had done with Karev only hours ago.

"Boo" said Skye finding Roxie through her improvised camouflage "What are you doing here?" she asked looking over at Mark "Shouldn't you be over there?"

"I slept with Karev" she blurted out

"I slept with Chan…again" she said trying to make her friend feel better

"I made a huge mistake and I shouldn't have done it. He doesn't deserve it"

"What and you think Mark Sloan is going to be celibate until he gets you between the sheets? Trust me Rox he's still going to be the same Sloan whether trying to get with you or not. You don't turn up tonight for that date one of the nurses will have a smile on their face in the morning. He's a sleaze…ok granted Karev is no better but don't lose sleep over Mark Sloan"

Skye walked away and Roxie continued to stare at Mark who after a while was joined by Derek.

"She stood you up again?"

"She agreed to this date" said Mark "Where is she?"

Derek could see the sadness in his friends eyes something he'd never seen from Mark. He'd never seen Mark sad over a woman before.

"Maybe she had a surgery she couldn't get out of and they couldn't find you to tell you. Come on we'll go to Joes and you can call her later" said Derek making up an excuse hoping to himself that it were true

Roxie watched Mark leave with Derek and she stepped out and collapsed on a chair in the waiting area hung her head.

"My boss or not…you're still just a stupid little grunt like the rest of them. You and Karev in the on call room…not discreet and not professional. You're supposed to set an example Dr Leoni" said Bailey before she walked away leaving Roxie feeling even worse…if that's possible.

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW EVEN IF ITS CRITICISM


	6. Chapter 6

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie had been at the hospital all night working through her guilt. She cursed herself for her moment of weakness and sleeping with Karev. Bailey was right it wasn't professional. Roxie walked down the corridor after a long surgery and pulled off her cap exhausted, she then saw Mark stood at the nurse's station. She approached him wanting to explain herself although not sure what she was going to say. She approached the nurse's station and Mark looked her with anger in his eyes and not a word said he walked away from the nurse's station and away from Roxie.

"Mark!" she shouted after him

"What are you going to tell him?" said a voice from behind "That you didn't go on your little date because you were feeling guilty after sleeping with one of your residents" said Karev with a satisfied smile

Roxie turned to see the smug smile on his face "I believe Mrs Aldridge is waiting for you"

"No she isn't!" he stated "I'm not on your service today"

"Excuse me?" asked Roxie

"Well today I thought I'd take my pick of which service I want to be on. And seen as though I have this dirty little secret of ours you should be keeping me sweet. In fact I feel like having a day on plastics" he then smiled and walked away as Roxie watched him leave in disgust realising she'd made an even bigger mistake than she originally thought.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Mark walked into the room where Dr Karev and his interns were waiting.

"Dr Karev I didn't think you were on my service today"

"Dr Leoni didn't want me so she sent me here"

"Ok someone present" said Mark

"Angel Orsino, 15, is here for a…" the intern looked at the chart again

"Breast augmentation" said Angel finishing off the interns sentence "I don't think I want her on my case, she can't even read"

"I'm sorry I just didn't know whether it was a typo"

"No it isn't a typo Miss Orsino is here for a breast augmentation. She wants to go from a 32A to a 32C and she wants to be recovered by her sweet sixteen party which is at the end of the month"

"Why would you want breast implants at such a young age?" asked Karev

"Dr Karev!" said Mark sternly trying to shut him up

"I'm just curious this patient is here at fifteen years old"

"Nearly sixteen" added the patient

"It doesn't make a difference trust me" replied Karev "You're not done developing. You're asking for a procedure to make your breasts bigger when in a few years they would probably have developed by themselves"

"Excuse me Dr Karev is it?" said a woman at the door "Big breasts don't run in our family so the chances of my daughter growing 32C breasts is slim to none. If my daughter needs implants to make her happy then as her mother I will give them to her. Anything to make my baby happy"

"You're going to kill your daughter"

"Doctor Karev can I speak with you outside now?" demanded Mark opening the door and waiting for Karev who appeared seconds later "What the hell do you think you're doing in there?"

"She is fifteen years old she doesn't need this surgery"

"Half the people who come to me don't need the surgeries they choose to have them and if this is her choice then who am I to say no?"

"Up until this point I thought you were a good doctor but a good doctor wouldn't even consider this surgery"

"If I don't do this surgery she'll just go and find another surgeon who will, a surgeon who may not be as good as I am"

"She shouldn't be having the surgery full stop her mother should know better. Why haven't you called social services in on this case?"

"She isn't hurting her daughter in her eyes she's helping her daughter and if her daughter is depressed by the fact that she isn't developing it could lead to many different disorders. Whether you like it or not Dr Karev this girl is having the surgery and I will be the surgeon doing the procedure. If you have a problem with that then maybe you should go and help in another department today"

"No I'm staying" said Karev walking back into the room followed by Mark

"Miss Orsino we will schedule the surgery as soon as possible and hopefully I won't see you before then" he said with a smile "Karev I don't want to be called back here"

Mark walked out and Karev ordered his interns to leave as he stayed behind making his opinions clear by the expression on his face.

"Karev has got a bad attitude" said Mark walking over to Derek

"Maybe but he's passionate about the job" added Derek

"He needs to remember who his boss is"

"I thought he was on Roxie's service"

"So did I"

"So I heard you snubbed Roxie this morning" said Derek subtly wanting to know the details

"She's been messing me around since she got here. Then she finally agrees to a date and stands me up. And I checked she wasn't in the OR last night. So it wasn't a work thing it was a simple stand me up job"

"You seem a little bitter"

"Not bitter pissed, I'm pissed"

"There could have been a number of reasons she stood you up last night but ignoring her won't get you your answer"

"I'm not going to follow her around like a puppy dog begging for her attention. If she wants to tell me she'll find me" he said walking away in a bad mood

BACK IN THE PATIENTS ROOM

Karev was putting a few final tests in before the surgery was scheduled and was doing it in complete silence which the mother didn't appreciate as she could still feel his disapproval.

"Dr Sloan has explained the complications of the surgery itself and the surgery for this age. We haven't gone into this with blinders on we're aware of the risks we're aware that if she does develop she may have to have them out"

"Mrs Orsino I don't want to discuss this with you. You know what you're doing is wrong otherwise you wouldn't be trying to explain yourself to me"

"I just want you to be fully informed so you can stop judging us"

"I'm not judging her she's a kid she doesn't know any better she thinks she can click her fingers and get new breasts and you're her little genie. You should be her mother and know better but look at who I'm talking to you're not exactly leading a good example with those things are you?" he sneered pointing at her enhancements before leaving the room

ELSEWHERE

Skye walked into trauma room one to see busy staff rushing around trying to help the woman laid on the gurney.

"What happened?" asked Skye

"Emily Howe, 25, was found by her partner unconscious in the kitchen is presented with obvious fractured tibia and fibula" Skye looked at the leg which had been broken at a right angle "head injury lost a lot of blood and is ten weeks pregnant"

"Have Shepherd and Tatum been paged"

"Yes doctor"

"Has she been at all conscious?"

"No"

"How long do we think she's been unconscious?"

"The husband says maybe forty minutes she was fine when he left he went to the local store got back and was found in the kitchen unconscious" the nurse continued as Derek walked in

"How did she get the head injury?" asked Derek stepping in and looking

"The husband says it looks like she hit it on the kitchen top as there is blood present on the top and down the cupboards"

"What do you have there Dr McKenzie?"

"Fractured tibia and fibula it needs surgery there's nothing I can do here but prescribe a painkiller she needs to get to the OR as soon as possible"

"I need a CT before that happens"

"She's pregnant"

"Ok MRI will suffice"

Just then the door opened and Chan walked in.

"Pregnant woman collapsed, she's ten weeks along"

"Ultrasound" he asked the nurse

Chan started to check for the foetus he suddenly pulled away and gave back the ultrasound.

"It's an ectopic pregnancy I have to get her to surgery"

"She has a head injury a severe one"

"Then I suggest you scrub in, book an OR tell them we're on our way"

"That's too dangerous"

"Leaving her here is dangerous"

"She could need brain surgery"

"Like I said you better scrub in then"

Chan and the rest of the staff rolled the patient out of the room and headed to the OR.

"He's dangerous" said Derek before walking out and leaving Skye behind.

AT ANGEL ORSINOS ROOM

Karev walked into the room where Angel was sat alone. He did his job without saying a word not wanting to have to deal with a bratty teenager.

"What complications could there be?" asked an obviously worried Angel

Karev looked at her and realised she wasn't just humouring him.

"You're only fifteen yeah ok nearly sixteen but you still have the potential to grow naturally you don't stop growing until into your early twenties; this means that if you grow naturally after getting implants, the chances of those implants bursting and causing serious medical problems increases. And your natural growth isn't something we can estimate as all girls grow at different rates. Your Mom might be right you may never have big breasts but just because she hasn't doesn't mean you won't. And even if the implants don't burst, they would need to be replaced very soon afterwards if you do develop naturally which means even more surgery and another painful recovery whether you have new implants in or just the old ones out. That's just the risk for your age the surgery itself carries risks which are just elevated because of your age and your bodies underdevelopment"

Angel lowered her head a look of panic obvious.

"I don't want them, I never did"

"What?" asked Karev

"I never wanted them my Mom wants them for me. She had a flat chest at my age and she got really image conscious and as soon as she was of legal age she got her implants. I don't care that I'm flat and I don't care if they never grow but my Mom she thinks that I won't be able to survive without them. That guys won't look at me, that I'll end up all alone just because of my small chest. She's obsessed!"

"You shouldn't be having this surgery because your Mom wants it"

"I know" she said her eyes welling up

Karev looked at her and walked out of the room to find Mark as he approached the board he saw that Angel was scheduled for the afternoon he erased the surgery and continued to find Mark.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Mark walked in with a coffee in hand and leant against the nurse's station looking at Derek who was writing charts.

"What?" asked Derek not looking up

"Maybe I should give her another chance" he said looking past Derek and admiring the beautiful sight of Roxie

"Well that's quite a change…" started Derek looking at Mark who was distracted, Derek followed his eyes while continuing "…from this morning when you were never going to…oh I see"

"You see what?" asked Mark

"This isn't a case of you being the bigger man so to speak but because you still want to sleep with her"

"That's just a bonus, the girl deserves forgiveness"

Derek smirked "I kind of hope she turns you down" he said as he walked away smiling

"Thanks for the support" Mark shouted after him as he turned just in time to watch Roxie walk out of sight

"Dr Sloan" shouted Karev finally finding him

"Karev if this is more bitching about the Orsino surgery I don't want to know" he said turning away from Karev

"But she doesn't want it"

Mark turned back to Karev "What do you mean?"

"Angel the kid she doesn't want it her mothers forcing her to have the surgery"

"She didn't look like she was being forced to me"

"Except for the snappy comment to the chick intern this morning have you actually heard her say anything because all I've heard is her mother. And Angel she told me this herself"

"Karev unless Angel tells me face to face that she doesn't want it I'm going ahead with the surgery which is scheduled for this afternoon" he said gesturing to the board and realizing it was no longer on there "You erased my surgery off the board?" shouted Mark

"Yeah I did because the kid doesn't want it" Karev shouted back

"No wonder Roxie sent you to my service I don't know how she put up with you for so long"

"She wasn't pushing me away last night" snarled Karev

Mark turned back to him "Last night?"

"Yeah she had no problem with me when we were having sex in the on call room" suddenly the whole room became silent as did Mark a look of rage present on his face. Suddenly Mark reacted and threw a punch at Karev sending him flying to the ground. At that moment Richard appeared.

"What is going on here?" he screamed looking at Karev on the floor and an angry Mark shadowing over him

Mark walked away without saying a word as the chief called after him

"Sloan!" Richard turned and pulled Karev to his feet "Get your eye sorted and then get yourself to my office"

Karev walked away from the chief who shook his head in disgust and started to make his way back to his office.

OR 2

Skye walked into the OR where Derek was working on the patients head injury and Chan was dealing with the ectopic pregnancy.

"How's she doing?"

"I've been able to control the bleeding but without knowing what this is I can't do anymore"

"I'm nearly done here" Chan assured Derek

"Is there any chance I can get in here before you roll her out to realign the leg and then I'll wait until Dr Shepherd knows more and scrub back in later to fix it for her.

"Sure" said Chan

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Skye was stood in the scrub room and Chan joined her.

"You're free to go in now" he told her

"I'll wait for Shepherd"

Chan looked at Skye while he scrubbed out.

"You look stressed"

"Overworked" she replied with a smile "This will be my sixth surgery today"

"Oh well after this one then you'll probably want nourishment. Maybe I could take you for dinner?"

Skye looked at Chan and he knew what answer he was going to get by the look on her face.

"I don't think so"

"So what you can sleep with me but you can't have dinner with me?" he asked with a smirk on his face

"I won't be doing either from this point on" she assured him

At that moment Shepherd walked in.

"You're ok to go in now. Then I'll send her for an MRI and put it up on the board"

"Ok thanks" Skye said before walking into the OR where she realigned the bone ready to go into surgery later.

LATER

Karev walked out the chiefs office and made his way to Angel Orsino's room where Mark was already.

"Dr Karev you are no longer needed here" he said as Karev appeared at the door

"Whoa I want him here I want him to be my doctor" pleaded Angel

"I'm sorry Miss Orsino but Dr Karev is no longer on this service he's being reprimanded maybe they'll find use for him on OB"

Karev looked at Mark and scowled as he left the room.

IN THE CORRIDOR

Skye walked out of the scrub room and straight into Chan who was relentless. She walked straight by him but wasn't lucky enough to shake him off as he followed her.

"One small meal" Skye didn't reply "A side salad? Come on I'm trying to get to know you here"

"You know all you're going to know about me" she said walking away

"I just thought that seen as though we've slept together we should get to know each other" he said with a raised voice

Skye stopped and turned back to Chan she could feel everyone's eyes on her she just gave a cold look and walked away as Chan smiled knowing he would get what he wanted.

TRAUMA ROOM ONE

Roxie was examining a patient who arrived at the ER with shrapnel embedded in his abdomen. The door opened and both Bailey and Mark appeared. Mark shot a look at Roxie before moving around to the face which had severe burns.

"How did this happen?" asked Mark

"We're still unsure the wife is just muttering to herself we can't get any sense out of her" replied a nurse

"Where is she?" asked Roxie

"Outside"

"Bailey take a look at this" she said moving out the way to reveal the shrapnel to Bailey who stood dumbfounded by the sight

"What is that?" she asked as Roxie left the room

"Name?" she asked the nurse

"Mrs Jenkins"

"Mrs Jenkins" said Roxie approaching his petrified wife "Mrs Jenkins my name is Dr Leoni I'm trying to work on your husband but before I can do that I need to know some specifics about your husbands accident. Can you help me?"

The wife nodded her head

"He just lit a smoke" she started

"Ok good but now I need more details"

"He was mowing the lawn and he stopped half way through he pulled out his smokes lit one and then it blew up"

"What blew up?"

"It was just ablaze everywhere and he was on fire he was in so much pain"

"Mrs Jenkins what blew up?"

"The mower dear, the mower blew up"

Roxie looked at Mrs Jenkins in shock realizing what had happened.

"Take Mrs Jenkins to the relatives room, I'll update when I can"

Roxie then ran back into the room

"Well what happened?" asked Bailey looking at her

"The petrol mower blew up that's not shrapnel that's a mower blade"

"Embedded into his abdomen?" she asked knowing the answer

"We need to get this guy doused down and into the OR"

Mark and Bailey looked at Roxie and then at patient.

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!


	7. Chapter 7

Mark, Roxie and Bailey walked out of the room on their way to get ready for surgery.

"Ok so you can treat the burns while we're working on the abdomen ok?" asked Roxie. Mark ignored her and continued to walk away. "Mark!"

Mark stopped and turned back "Dr Bailey would you tell Dr Leoni that I know what I'm doing in the OR and that my work will not interfere with hers so there is no need for any type of communication"

Bailey looked at them both "No I can't, I don't have time for your stupid petty games. I have a guy with a lawnmower blade stuck in his abdomen. Now feel free to join me if you can both stop acting like children" Bailey then walked away.

Mark stared at Roxie a second longer and began to walk away.

"Mark this is ridiculous just let me explain about the date"

Mark stopped suddenly at the bottom of the stairs.

"Go on then explain" he said making everyone around look in their direction

"Can we go somewhere else?"

"What's a matter Rox don't you want all these people to know about you sleeping with Karev?" Roxie shot a look at Karev and then back at Mark "Or did you need to stall a little longer to think up a lie?" with that Mark walked away

Roxie looked over and saw the smug look on Karev's face. She made her way over to him and got in his face.

"You think you're clever? You think telling him was clever? You're an idiot…you just lost your winning hand. Guess who's going to win now Karev? From now until I say otherwise you are on scut. Do you feel like a winner Karev?" she asked with a stern expression before turning to walk away

IN THE OR

Mark was ignoring Roxie and Roxie was distracted by this fact. All she wanted to do was explain to him but she didn't want to do that in front of a room full of people.

"Dr Leoni are you going to look at this patient at all or are you going to do the whole procedure blind?" asked Bailey

Roxie looked at Bailey and then at the patient and the rest of the surgery went ahead in complete silence.

IN THE SCRUB ROOM

Bailey finished up and looked at Mark and Roxie who were still not talking.

"Pathetic and you two are my superiors?" she said and then left the room

Roxie looked at Mark who wasn't even giving her a glance.

"Mark please just talk to me" Mark didn't say anything "Ok well at least listen. It shouldn't have happened, I don't know why it happened. I feel awful…I couldn't go out with you after what I did…obviously. Mark I'm sorry" Mark walked behind Roxie and got a hand towel dried his hands and walked out. Roxie sighed feeling awful about what she'd done and even worse about how he'd found out.

LATER

Roxie was stood in the elevator her mind was miles away. The doors opened and Derek walked in. He looked at her absent expression.

"Hi" he said breaking the silence but getting no response from her "Roxie!"

Roxie snapped out of her daze and looked at Derek not responding just staring she then reached out and hit the stop button.

"He's got no right to be angry with me"

"Who?"

"Mark, we're not dating. We've not been on a date. I mean yeah I agreed to a date and the timing couldn't have been worse with Karev but even if I'd been on a date with Mark and then slept with Karev he wouldn't have any right to get angry at me. He doesn't strike me as the monogamist type am I right?"

"Are you looking for me to agree with you or tell you what I really think?"

"I want you to agree with me" Derek smiled at her and tilted his head "Ok tell me what you think"

"He asked you on a date. That's a big thing for Mark he usually just sleeps with a girl maybe a drink first but never a date"

"So he asks me out on date I agree…huge milestone for him. Then I sleep with Karev like an idiot and the newly reformed Mark looks like an angel while I'm the she devil herself?"

"Pretty much"

Roxie looked at Derek and knew he was right and she felt even more awful.

A WHILE LATER AT JOES

Derek walked over to Mark who was sat alone at the bar and ordered himself and Mark a drink.

"She made a mistake"

"If it were Meredith would it be a mistake?" asked Mark hitting a nerve

"She feels bad for what happened"

"So she should" Mark shook his head "This is karma you know. I slept with Addison and hurt you and now I'm getting a dose of my own medicine"

"And it's bitter" said Derek taking a sip of his drink

"You know I'm not even going to stress over it. We weren't dating, we're not dating. Another day, another dame" smiled Mark getting out of his seat and heading over to a group of women.

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie was stood watching Mark talking to a patient's family she then watched as he pulled off his cap and walked into the on call room. Roxie realised this was her chance to corner him. She walked towards the on call room and opened the door walking in to see Mark sat on the edge of the bed staring at the floor. She locked the door behind her so he couldn't walk out and stood firm acting as a barricade to stop him if he tried.

"I made a mistake, everyone makes them" Mark looked up "I know it doesn't change anything I did what I did and I have to live with that but this is just ridiculous. Yeah I may have hurt you but we're not together so technically I haven't even done anything wrong"

Mark stood up and exhaled loudly with obvious frustration. Roxie stared at him and although she was right that they weren't a couple and she 'technically' did nothing wrong she still couldn't help but feel guilty and ashamed of her actions.

"Just get out" demanded Mark

"I'm not going anywhere"

"Then I will" he said stepping forward but Roxie blocked him. He forced her against the wall forcefully but not aggressively. He looked into her eyes and walked away leaving the room. Roxie closed her eyes and threw her head back breathing deeply as the situation got to her. Roxie left the on call room and found Mark staring daggers at her from the nurse's station where he was stood with Derek.

"Why are you giving her such a hard time?" asked Derek

"She slept with Karev"

"You're not together. I can't understand your reaction to all of this"

"He always manages to get in my way and screw things up" he said staring at Karev who was across the room

"What has Karev screwed up for you?" asked Derek confused. Derek then had a realisation "Addison, that's who she slept with"

"He's a snot nosed little kid with a bad attitude what do they see in him?"

"What do they see in you? I'm sorry Mark but you're not exactly the idealistic man yourself"

"I'm the dirty little desire they all have. The bad boy that you can't take home to meet the folks"

"No you're a middle aged plastic surgeon playing children's games. You like her so just stop punishing her and go and tell her"

"You make it sound like I'm falling for her"

"Are you?" Derek asked bluntly

Mark looked at Derek and leaned in. "I haven't been with another woman since she arrived here"

"What about last night at Joe's?"

"I didn't go to bed with any of them. Trust me I wanted to but I can't get her out of my head" Derek smirked which made Mark uncomfortable "What?"

"You're falling for her and hard by the sounds of it"

"Oh shut up" he said not wanting to hear the truth coming from his friends lips. Mark walked away leaving an amused Derek behind.

IN THE CAFETERIA

Grey, Yang, O'Malley and Stevens were sat at a table staring over at Roxie who was sat alone.

"I can't believe she slept with Alex" said Stevens

"Oh I can I knew she was a dirty little whore the second I met her" stated Cristina

"Takes one to know one" added Meredith

"I'm not a whore"

"You slept with Burke" reminded George

"That was different" she proclaimed

"How?" asked Meredith

"Well you slept with McDreamy" replied Cristina

"I'm not calling Roxie a dirty little whore"

"No you're not in fact all you seem to do is defend her" stated Cristina

"Well all you do is pull her apart. She's a girl, Alex is a guy…all I'm saying is she did nothing wrong yet everyone's talking about her. I can relate"

"I didn't even know her and McSteamy were dating" stated Stevens

"They're not…" added Meredith

"Not anymore" said Yang

"Not at all, they never were dating. That's why I can't understand Mark being so angry and everyone talking about it and her like she did something wrong, she's just a girl"

"Ok whether or not she was dating Sloan she is still an attending who slept with her resident" Yang stated

Stevens, O'Malley and Grey looked at Yang who had seemed to have forgotten that she and Meredith were only interns when they slept with their attendings.

"Her, Sloan and Karev are all made from the same cloth, the dirty little whore cloth"

Alex then put down his tray and sat at the table his black eye present and his emotions expressed on his face.

"You slept with Leoni?" asked Stevens in shock

"Oh shut up, Meredith jumped Shepherds bones before her first day, Cristina didn't take much longer jumping Burkes and O'Malley here is making his way around the hospital with Olivia, Torres and you who by the way isn't so innocent especially when you were screwing me and especially when you screwed Bambi"

Stevens quickly shut up when she realised they were all the same as each other.

"So why'd you do it?" asked Yang

"Look at her she's hot and she needed bringing down a peg or two"

"You slept with her to set her up?" asked Meredith

"You did a great job in bringing her down a peg or two. She's still your boss and you are now on scut indefinitely" smirked Yang

The residents continued to watch and talk about Roxie who was soon joined by Skye. Skye sat and stared at Roxie who was reading something on her laptop. She could feel Skye's eyes on her as well as everybody else's.

"What?" she asked looking up

"How are you?"

"Just dandy" she replied continuing to read

"Karev? I can see the attraction I suppose little cocky for me but…yeah I see it"

Roxie shook her head "Just ask?"

Skye smiled "Why did you do it? You knew you were going on a date with Sloan?"

"Oh now you're pro Sloan?"

"No but still…"

"You slept with gyno guy"

"I hadn't agreed to a date with another man"

"But you still slept with him after telling me you wouldn't. It happens, just like that and before you know you've done it you're already regretting it" Roxie looked at Skye "Or not…doesn't look like you're regretting it much"

"Don't you change the subject and make this about me"

"I slept with Karev, it was good, I regret it. Mark doesn't want to talk to me and I don't understand that but it's his decision. I have to just move on right?"

"Accept you can't because for some strange reason you wanted it to happen with Mark. You wanted the date and you wanted to try with him"

"It was a date with a guy who you deemed a dog"

"If it was just a date why do you feel so guilty?"

"Ladies is anyone sitting here?" the two girls looked up to see Derek. Roxie shook her head and Derek sat down with his tray. Skye's pager went off and Roxie thanked God she didn't have to decipher her 'relationship' with Mark any longer. Skye left the table and Roxie closed her laptop and looked at Derek. She could see Derek had something to say as he shovelled food in his mouth as if to stop himself from speaking.

"What is it?"

Derek looked at Roxie and swallowed his mouthful "He's not angry at you"

"Could have fooled me"

"Did you know he hasn't slept with any woman in the week that you have been here?"

"What do you want me to do with this information?"

"Mark is a man whore. If he gets turned down he just turns in the other direction and hits on another woman. The problem here is he doesn't want another woman he only wants you"

"And he shows this by ignoring me, kicking me out, walking away from me and making a scene?"

"Marks only ever been in this territory once before and he didn't stay there long because she broke his heart"

"Derek wha--"

"She slept with Karev too" he said cutting her off and finishing "He's not angry at you, he's angry at Karev. The only reason he's being like this with you is because he doesn't want to be shown up by Karev. He won't let another man get one up on him"

"So this is all about male pride?" she asked

"Yes. I don't know how long it will last, I don't know how much you'll have to grovel but it's only temporary. You've got to hang in there"

Roxie watched as Mark walked into the cafeteria. Mark paid for his lunch and turned to find Derek he stood and looked at the table. Roxie shook her head and packed up her things.

"I'm going to go so there's enough room for him and his male pride at the table"

Derek smiled and Roxie walked away and she turned back to see Mark approach the table. He looked at her and she then left the cafeteria.

A WEEK LATER

Roxie walked into the patient's room to find Yang and her interns. Yang handed her the chart and began to speak.

"Mrs Fernandez was diagnosed with colon cancer after tests we found the cancer was stage 2A" said Yang

"Which means what?" asked Roxie looking at Yang and her interns

"The cancer has spread beyond the middle tissue layers of the colon wall" replied Yang

"What's our plan of action?"

"A resection" replied Yang

"Yang how about letting someone else answer"

Yang a little taken aback stepped aside and let her interns answer while staring daggers at Roxie.

"Someone other than Yang tell me and Mrs Fernandez what will happen during the surgery"

"During surgery you will remove the tumor, a small margin of the surrounding healthy bowel, and adjacent lymph nodes. Then you will reconnect the healthy sections of the bowel"

"What treatment will I need after the surgery?" asked Mrs Fernandez

Roxie looked at the patient who looked familiar to her. She then continued to answer her.

"It depends on what we find. The lymph nodes I remove will be tested and if there is sign of cancer chemotherapy will be required but we won't know anymore until we go into surgery"

"Thank you doctor"

"No problem Mrs Fernandez"

"Please call me Lattie"

"Lattie?"

Mrs Fernandez smiled at Roxie and she then turned to her resident and intern.

"Yang you will prepare Mrs Fernandez for surgery"

"Yes Dr Leoni"

Roxie then left the room and walked over to the nurse's station she looked back over to the room and watched Mrs Fernandez through the blinds. Soon Yang approached Roxie.

"Dr Leoni I noticed that you are scheduled for another cardio surgery"

Roxie was distracted from Mrs Fernandez as she looked at Yang.

"Very observant Yang"

"I just thought that with my experience in cardio you may be able to use me in the surgery? I'm very knowledgeable" said Yang selling herself as Derek approached the nurse's station

"That's good to know. That's what we look for in resident…knowledge always a good thing to have when you're holding a person's heart in your hand"

"So I can scrub in?" asked Yang hopeful

"No"

"Why not?" asked Yang persistently

"To be quite honest you annoy me, but the reason you're not scrubbing in on the cardio case is because like your friend Karev you pissed me off"

"I'm sorry I don't know what you're talking about"

"Yang I'm not standing here because I'm a dumb blonde…someone should really change that stereotype because frankly we blondes get a bad rap…and I'm not standing her because I'm a dirty little whore…"

Yang stood dumbfounded that Roxie knew about a private discussion she'd had with her friends.

"…I'm here because I fought to be here, nobody gave me anything…and I didn't kiss any ass…or sleep my way into a specialty. I can stand here today with my head held high knowing that nobody gave me any help and that everything I've got…I got because of no one but me. That's something you can't do Yang. I don't like two faced kiss asses…I'm going to have more cardio cases but the only way you're going to get in on them is if you prove you belong there. Disrespecting your boss is not going to get you there. So make up your mind Yang are you a two faced kiss ass or a cardiothoracic surgeon?"

A furious Yang walked away and Derek smiled.

"Don't the two things come as one?" he asked

Roxie laughed "I wouldn't call Erica Hahn two faced or a kiss ass would you?"

"I guess not" he said smiling and walking away

Roxie looked back over at Mrs Fernandez and then flipped over her chart.

**PATIENT INFORMATION SHEET**

Last Name: Fernandez

First Name: Latiana

Middle Initial: K

Other Names Used: Maivia, Del Toro

She closed the file and once again looked back at the room.

AT RECEPTION – SURGICAL FLOOR

Skye was rushing down the corridor but soon her pace slowed down as she sighed and sauntered over to a security guard who was waiting for her at the desk.

"What happened?"

"She hit a guy he's in the ER being tended to"

"He was feeling me up" screamed the restrained woman

"Is he taking legal action?"

"No I don't think he dare"

"Let her go then" said Skye reluctantly

The security guard gestured for his colleague to let the girl go then they both left. The girl approached Skye and smiled at her.

"No hug?" asked the girl

"What are you doing here?" asked Skye

"Now is that anyway to welcome your baby sister?"

"McKenzie I need a consult" said Mark as he walked past

"Whoa he's cute" said Ryan admiring the view as Mark walked away "You know I'm feeling faint all of a sudden. Maybe we should call him back" she said with a smile on her face

"He's a plastic surgeon"

"Oh even better, I ask for implants and his magic hands are soon gripping at the girls" she insinuated with a devilish smile

"Ryan, go home" Skye said sternly walking away and leaving her sister behind.


	8. Chapter 8

LATER

Roxie was stood holding Mrs Fernandez' chart in her arms as she stood staring at the room. Mark approached the nurse's station.

"Stevens shouldn't you be with Mr Lee?"

"I was just…"

"Don't end that sentence unless you're going to say 'heading to Mr Lee's room'"

Stevens quickly packed up her things and left to go to Mr Lee's room. Mark then handed the nurse a chart. He then turned to leave and noticed Roxie stood on the spot just staring at the door of her patient's room he then walked away a little bit bewildered by her actions or inactions.

LATER

Derek was stood reading whilst drinking his coffee when Mark approached. Mark put down his charts and looked over at Roxie who hadn't moved an inch since the last time he'd been there.

"She was stood there an hour ago when I was here. Exactly the same spot"

"She hasn't moved since I've been here" replied Derek looking over at Roxie who was stood motionless. Derek's pager sounded and he took it off his hip and checked it. "Maybe she forgot what she was meant to be doing"

Mark smirked "Funny"

Derek chuckled and left. Mark stood for a few minutes just looking at Roxie who was fixated on the room. He decided that he had to approach her and find out what she was doing. He walked up behind her and looked to see if there was something she was looking at but he saw nothing but a room.

"You know if you jiggle the handle the big wooden thing opens" he joked

Roxie looked over her shoulder at him and then back at the door "What now you're talking to me?"

"Just curious as to why you've been staring at that door for over an hour"

Roxie looked at Mark giving him a bewildered look. "You think I make a habit of staring at doors?"

"I don't know this might be the first time"

"I'm not staring at the door you dumbass I'm staring at the patient"

"Ok I know you wanted that to sound better but it actually makes you even weirder" Roxie didn't reply and Mark decided to delve deeper "Why are you staring at her?"

"She has colon cancer"

"I'm sorry about that but this is a hospital and you're a doctor we see things like this all the time. Why is this woman so special?"

Roxie looked at Mark "Because she's my mother"

Mark looked at her dumbfounded and Roxie looked back at the woman in the room.

"I don't…she's not…you know forget it"

"No I can't…go on"

"One minute you're not talking to me then the next you want to console me?"

"Roxie just tell me about your Mom"

"She's not my Mom!" stated Roxie looking up at Mark

"You just said she was you Mom"

"No I said she was my mother"

"Same thing"

"No, no they're not. A mother is a woman who gives birth to you. A Mom is someone who's there in the morning at the breakfast table, there in the afternoon at the school gates, someone you bake cookies with, a Moms there on Christmas morning watching you open your gifts. A Moms someone who's there for you…that woman in there…my mother…she left me and my sisters when I was ten. She's not my Mom" Roxie shot another look at the room before walking away and leaving Mark behind. Mark stared at the woman in the room the woman Roxie had been previously fixated on.

IN THE LOUNGE

Skye was in the lounge doing some research on her laptop when the door opened and Chan walked in. He smiled at her as he got himself a coffee. He then turned and sat on the edge of the table staring at her. She couldn't stand him watching her and frustrated she looked over at him.

"Stop staring at me"

"Stop fighting this" he replied wittily

"Chan I said it's never happening again and I mean it. Me, you over!" she said walking over to him

"Who are you trying to convince?"

Skye stared at Chan and didn't know who she was trying to convince as the intoxicating scent of his cologne was sending her into a whirlwind of hormones and bad choices. She snapped out of it and looked sternly at him.

"I'm not interested. I'll admit it, what we did was…good"

"Just good?" asked Chan

"But…it was a lapse of judgement, a moment of weakness"

"Ok so lets have another…good…time and call it another moment of weakness"

Skye couldn't believe how forward he was being and how much it was turning her on.

"I have to leave" she said quickly walking out of the room before something happened between the two of them yet again.

"Hi" said Skye catching Roxie up in the corridor

"Hi" replied Roxie who wasn't really feeling sociable

"Chan just nearly had me on my back on the coffee table"

Roxie looked at Skye bewildered "What?"

"Not literally…it's just he…you were right sometimes it just happens and every time I'm around him…it just happens and I'm struggling to stop myself"

"Then don't" replied Roxie

"What do you mean?"

"I mean screw his brains out. What's stopping you? His flawless good looks, his talent, his intelligence, what I can only imagine is a body as perfect as the rest of him? Stop over analysing things and just enjoy" Roxie said sternly walking away leaving Skye wondering whether she was over thinking the situation.

THE NEXT DAY

Mark arrived at work to find Roxie stood once again on the hotspot staring into her mothers room. He approached her and stood silent waiting for her to speak which didn't take long.

"Her kids…turned up. Three of them…"

"Ok…" he said leaving her to continue

"…She abandoned us…seven kids…she just up and left. There was nothing, no note explaining, never got a birthday card or a letter. Nothing! It's like we weren't good enough and she left and made another…better family…the one that she really wanted"

"How does she not recognise you?" asked Mark

"Why would she? Do you look the same now as when you were ten? Plus she's not looking for me and she definitely wouldn't look for me in a hospital. She left her seven kids in a shabby two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. In what world does one of those kids become a doctor?"

"You did it"

"I fell lucky…she doesn't know that though…with what she left behind she can't possibly expect one of her kids to be a doctor…maybe a hooker…drug dealer…stripper. Not a doctor though. I have to take her into the OR and save her life. The woman who destroyed mine. How do I do that?"

Mark looked into the room and saw Roxie's mother hugging her children.

"Think about the kids"

"You mean my stepbrothers and stepsister?"

"Yeah…would you wish your childhood on anybody?"

"No" she said shaking her head

"If you don't operate she'll die. Those kids will be left without a Mom. You're angry because you didn't have a Mom so why would you put those three innocent kids through that same thing?" Mark leant down and whispered in her ear "You'll do the right thing"

Mark then walked away leaving Roxie staring at her 'family'.

AT THE CAFETERIA

Skye was sat eating her lunch and going over some charts when she was joined by her sister. Skye looked at her in dismay.

"I thought you'd left"

"No you hoped. Sorry sis but I'm not going anywhere. I have no where to go"

"Try Mom and Dad"

"I'd rather throw myself off a ferryboat"

"Do that then"

"Oh come Skye! I'm your baby sister you know you can't turn your back on me. You're going to help me so cut all the crap and give me a key to your place already"

Skye looked at her sister and wondered to herself why her sister was there and what trouble she was running from. Just then Roxie sat down at the table with a coffee in hand wishing it were something stronger.

"Skye…" moaned Ryan

"Ryan I'm at work I don't need this"

"Fine! I'll go throw myself of that ferryboat then" said Ryan standing up and storming off

"Have fun" Skye shouted behind her. Roxie looked at Skye and pointed at the blur that was Ryan "Don't ask"

Ryan was stood behind a corner waiting for her sister to come after her. She looked in the direction of the cafeteria and saw no sign of her sister's pursuit. She then turned around in a temper realising Skye wasn't following her and she bumped straight into someone sending everything in his hand's flying to the floor.

"Oh my God I am so sorry" she said crouching down and helping him pick up the things she'd knocked out of his hand

"Hi" said the guy

Ryan looked up and noticed how cute the guy was. "Hi" she said standing up simultaneously with him. "I'm sorry about this"

"Don't worry about…" he said seeking a name

"Oh Ryan" she said extending her hand

"Chan" he said shaking hands with the beauty before him. They both began to smile at each other.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Mark was making his way up the stairs when he turned to see Roxie sat at the top. He slowly walked up and sat down beside her.

"So your mother, have you decided?" asked Mark

"I'm doing the surgery"

"So why do you looked so confused?"

"She left when I was ten, I haven't practiced medicine in four years, she gets sick and a week into my new job I'm her doctor. That's not a coincidence this is fate. Fate is telling me to get my answers"

"So you're going to tell her who you are?"

"I don't know. If I go in there and tell her who I am it could open a huge can worms and I might get answers I don't want to hear. What if she puts all the blame on my Dad? I can't have that…he's the one consistent thing in my life. He is the reason I'm not laid in a gutter…I can't have her take away his superpowers…he's my Dad"

"So don't tell her and don't ask"

Roxie looked at Mark "I don't know what to do"

"Well you have one of two choices. You can either go in there and ask your questions get answers that you maybe don't want to hear and then go into surgery taking all that with you or you can go into surgery and then tell her who you are?"

"These are my choices?"

"Any other ideas?" asked Mark

Roxie shook her head not knowing what to do for the best. Marks pager went off and he looked at it then back at Roxie.

"I have to go"

Mark stood up and walked away leaving Roxie sat on the stairs.

LATER

Roxie walked out of the scrub room and removed her scrub cap when she caught Mark looking at her. He smiled at her knowing she'd made the right choice and she smiled back.

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie was stood at the nurse's station looking into the room where her mother was surrounded by her family.

"Dr Leoni it's time for post op" said Yang. Roxie stood motionless as if she hadn't heard Yang "Dr Leoni"

"What?" she said looking at Yang

"Post op"

Yang walked into the patient's room and Roxie followed her head was spinning as Yang took control of the post op.

"Dr Leoni" said Yang trying to get her attention "Dr Leoni"

Roxie snapped out of her daze and looked at Yang "Dr Yang I'd like you to go and finish the post op by yourself"

"Seriously?"

"Yang get out!"

Yang along with her interns left and Roxie stood looking at her mother who was surrounded by her family. Her mother looked at her and as if sensing she wanted to talk asked her family to leave them alone. The family all left to go to the cafeteria and as the room became quiet Roxie couldn't bring herself to speak. Her mother took the handmade cards off her lap and stood them beside her bed smiling as Roxie stood with her back to her looking out the window. Mark appeared from around the corner and saw Roxie in the room alone with her mother.

"You know this is what will keep me strong" Roxie turned and watched her stand the last card. "You can throw all the medicine you want at me but it's my families love that will get me through this"

Roxie looked at the cards and then at her mother who was staring at them with glee. She then turned and saw the angry face of Roxie.

"Dr Leoni what's wrong?"

"How can you not recognise me?...You know when you left I was angry I was so angry that I destroyed myself. I hit rock bottom and carried on falling. You screwed me up"

"Roxanne?" said her mother realising who she was

"My dad, you hurt him…but now, now he's happy. He met another woman he loves her. I don't like her very much but maybe that's because I haven't had a positive experience with motherly figures. But she took on seven kids to be with him and she's stood by us all"

"I'm happy he found somebody. I'm happy you're ok and you're, you're a doctor" she said with slight pride

"Yeah I am and that's no thanks to you. This is all my Dad, he stayed strong and he brought us up to be strong and to take what the world throws at us"

"Roxanne…"

"My name is Roxie…you'd know that if you stuck around" Latiana opened her mouth to speak "Don't" said Roxie cutting her off "Don't try and talk to me. Don't try to explain to me"

Mark opened the door and shut the blinds.

"Roxie…" said Mark

"I went over it in my head so many times trying to figure out why you left. I even started blaming myself because I wasn't an easy child to raise. Then I got older and I stopped blaming myself and I started blaming you because no matter what I may have done…it doesn't compare to what you did. You walked out on your kids who needed you. I guess we should look at the bright side you only screwed me and Jess up. The others were too young to remember you and we decided they didn't need to. My step mom raised them as her own and as far as they're concerned she's their mom. As far as they're concerned they have two parents who love them and who haven't abandoned them. At least you did one thing right leaving when you did. You at least gave them a chance"

"You think because I left I don't still love you? You're doing this but you turned out ok"

"I turned out ok?" she shouted

"Rox…" said Mark trying to calm the situation

"I wasn't saying I hit rock bottom for dramatic effect…I actually hit rock bottom. I was sent to military school because they couldn't handle me. I went to war because I didn't want to go home because I didn't have a home. I saw things that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Turned out ok? Do you want to know how I became a doctor? By putting soldiers back together. Yeah I'm a doctor and from the outside I look fine. Great job…good life. The truth is I'm where I am today because I clawed my way back from rock bottom. You've got no idea what you did to me, what you did to Jess"

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be, you did some good when you left. You see you did such a piss poor job at being a mother that when Jess had her twins she was ready for it. She was so determined not to be you and thank God she is the complete opposite of you. I have racked my brains trying to figure out why you left and now you're here I don't want to know…I don't care. I thought I would but no…I don't care but I couldn't let you leave this hospital without telling you who I was"

"Roxanne…I mean, I mean Roxie…"

"Do you know how hard it was for me to go into that OR and save your life? Save the life of the woman who tore mine apart? You don't want to know how many times I picked up and put down the scalpel before I started. I just kept thinking to myself put it down and leave let someone else save this pathetic excuse for a human, the only thing that kept me in there was those kids. Your new family, I never had a Mom and I wouldn't wish that on anyone…those kids are the only reason I didn't leave that OR. I can't be your doctor anymore; from now on Dr Bailey is on this case and I don't ever want to speak to you again"

Roxie then stormed out the room. Mark looked at Latiana and without saying a word he left the room following Roxie. He found Roxie in an empty room and she was pacing frantically. He walked over to her and tried to pull her in but she fought him.

"Mark let go of me"

Mark refused to let go and forced her until she relented and sobbed into his chest. Mark held her in his arms and comforted putting aside any ill feeling there was between them as that moment in time she needed someone to take care of her.

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie walked into the building looking worse for wear after a night drinking away her problems. She walked up to the desk where she approached Skye.

"Are you ok?" asked Skye

"I am hung over"

"Why were you drinking?"

"Because sometimes you need to drink"

"Ok…I won't pry"

"Good girl" she said reaching out and taking Skye's coffee

Dr Yang approached the desk.

"Can you call to have Mrs Fernandez' body transported"

Roxie quickly sobered up and looked at Yang.

"What?" Roxie asked "What happened to Mrs Fernandez?"

"Good morning ladies" said Mark as he arrived

"What happened to Mrs Fernandez Yang?" shouted Roxie

Yang was shocked by Roxie's aggressiveness and quickly answered her "She passed away early this morning we think she had a stroke" Yang then walked away.

Mark stood still as he watched Roxie who just stood motionless.

"Rox I'll see you later I have surgery" said Skye walking away not realising the impact of the news she'd just received

Mark approached Roxie but Roxie just shunned him and stormed off.

IN THE ON CALL ROOM

Roxie was pacing when Mark entered. He stepped forward and tried to hold Roxie but she wouldn't let him.

"I can't…yesterday I…"

"Hey this isn't anyone's fault"

Roxie looked at Mark with tears in her eyes "She's dead"

"You couldn't have seen this coming" said Mark trying to reassure her and he fought to comfort her. Roxie finally relented and let Mark hold her for a moment she then pulled away and looked at him and kissed Mark passionately, for a moment Mark indulged in the kiss he'd longed for but ultimately pushed her away.

"Roxie don't do this. Your mother, it wasn't your fault. It was fate again"

Mark kissed her on the forehead and left the room and Roxie collapsed on the bed and sobbed into the pillow.

I'M WORKING REALLY HARD ON THIS FIC SO COULD YOU PLEASE READ AND REVIEW JUST TO LET ME KNOW AT LEAST ONE PERSON IS READING THIS AND ENJOYING IT!!


	9. Chapter 9

**AUTHORS NOTE: Thank you for reviewing now I know someones reading it I will continue writing it. Sorry about the huge delay between chapters 7 and 8 I had way too much college work to get through. Hopefully updates will be more regular from now on**

LATER

Roxie was still a little distant still running things over in her head from the day before when she'd confronted her mother and got rid of years of frustration and confusion hoping it would make her feel better but it didn't she now felt worse than ever and to cap it all off Mark had pushed her away once again. Suddenly Roxie was approached by Mr Fernandez.

"Dr Leoni" he began. Roxie looked at the man in front of her and was racked with guilt and empathy after all he'd done nothing wrong the guy didn't even know who she was. "I was collecting my wife's belongings and I found these" he said showing her a handful of envelopes all marked for their recipients. "My wife she was very in tune with the world and she predicted things. She knew she had cancer before you doctors even told her and when she told me she said the cancer wouldn't kill her…but that I wasn't to get my hopes up. Each time she was pregnant she knew the sex of the baby before she was told. It was a very freaky thing she had going on but it helped her…she had time to come to terms with things which made her appear stronger than what she should have been…"

"Mr Fernandez…"

"She only went through with the surgery for our children's sake she didn't want them to think she'd given up. What I am trying to say is you did nothing wrong, she was prepared for this and she tried to leave the world with nothing on her conscience and these letters here are to tell certain people certain things that will help her to clear her conscience. There's a letter here for you" he said holding it out. Roxie glanced at it for a moment wondering whether she wanted it or not but she took a hold of it anyway. "I'm sure it will just repeat what I said but just in case…read it. It was fate Dr Leoni…you can't argue with fate" he said before walking away.

Roxie stood with the letter in hand and couldn't bring herself to open it she put it in her coat pocket and collected herself and turned to leave. As she turned she saw that Mark was stood watching her. She looked at him for a moment and then departed walking by him without saying a word.

IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM

Skye was sat at the conference room table with a piece of paper in front of her and a pen in her hand. Roxie spotted her friend in the room and entered hoping she would take her mind off of her mothers death and the letter she was pushing to the bottom of her pocket. Skye looked up as Roxie entered and her attention went straight back to the piece of paper which Roxie read over her shoulder.

"Pros and cons?" asked Roxie

"You started it with the list of reasons why I should be with him"

"I also told you to stop over analysing"

"This isn't over analysing this is being cautious"

"And the difference is?"

"I don't know. What I do know is there is a huge list of pros and hardly any cons and the cons don't even matter"

"What are the cons?" asked Roxie pulling the paper in her direction and reading "Annoying and arrogant? That's it? Skye to some women that's a turn on"

"Like you and McSleazy?"

"McSleazy, McSteamy what is the deal with these names…although I do like McSleazy its very clever"

"I'm glad I could amuse you in my time of sorrow" Skye overreacted

"Time of sorrow? A hot guy wants to date you and this is a time of sorrow? Or is the sorrow the girl who's throwing herself off a ferryboat?"

"Don't even mention her"

"Who is she?"

"She's my sister"

"Oh enough said"

"She only ever visits me when she wants something or she's in trouble"

"Sounds familiar"

"You have a Ryan too?"

"Yeah but I call her Jess. She does deal with her own problems don't get me wrong she's a fighter but then there's the times where she does call me…usually for bail"

"And ironically we're the neurotic ones"

Roxie smiled as her friend pressed her head on the table frustrated by her situation.

THE WAITING AREA

Mark was sat in the waiting area by himself when Derek approached him and sat down. He knew there was something bothering his friend something other than the recent Karev situation.

"She died" stated Mark confusing Derek even more

"Who died?"

"Her patient the one with colon cancer"

"I heard but why is this affecting you?" he asked

"It was her mother"

"The patient was her Mom?"

"No her mother…apparently she wasn't a Mom because she walked out of them. Still though she was her mother she's got to be confused, hurting…right this is what happens when people die"

"When someone you love dies you're confused, hurting…yeah but this woman left Roxie…did Roxie love her mother?"

"I don't know"

"So why are you so concerned?"

"She kissed me, I know this is incredibly selfish but I want to know whether she meant it or she just wanted to forget that her mother had just died"

"Then go ask her"

Mark looked at Derek and knew he was right he just had to go and ask her but he just couldn't bring himself to get out of the chair and do it.

LATER

The elevator doors opened and Skye walked out and as she was making her way out of the hospital she ran into Chan.

"Hi" she said

"Hey" he said smiling

"How are you?" she asked

"I'm good" he replied "I'm actually just on my way to a date"

"A date?" she asked as she felt her heart sink

"Yeah"

"One minute you're all over me and the next you're dating?"

"You said you weren't interested and that it was never going to happen. What did you want me to do stand around and wait for you to possibly change your mind?"

"No but…"

"But what?"

Skye looked at him and realised that this was happening because of her indecisiveness. He wasn't do anything wrong and even though she was a little hurt she couldn't blame anybody but herself.

"But nothing…forget about it…go have fun"

Chan smiled at Skye and walked away. Skye waited a moment so she didn't bump into him outside she then proceeded and no sooner had she got out the door as she saw Chan placing a kiss on the cheek of none other than her baby sister, Ryan. Skye couldn't believe it she was watching Chan leave with her baby sister. Skye stood and watched them walk away into the night until she couldn't see them anymore.

THE ON CALL ROOM

Mark opened the door and walked in to see Roxie doing some stretches as she realised who her company was she stopped and looked at him.

"How you doing?" he asked

"Ask me again later" she replied not sure how she felt

"Mr Fernandez this morning what did he give you?"

Roxie stalled for a moment and then realised there was no one else she could talk to about this and she needed to talk to someone.

"He gave me a letter. He found it when he was collecting her belongings. She knew she was dying"

"How?"

"I don't know. All this time gone by and she turns up sick under my care and then dies. It's karmic don't you think?"

"What did the letter say?" asked Mark

"I don't know I haven't read it yet"

"Why not?"

"I'm scared what it might say. The envelope says Roxie on it she wrote this after I…"

The room filled with silence and Mark and Roxie looked at each other. Mark then stepped in closer to Roxie and shadowed over her. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms and put his forehead against hers. Roxie closed her eyes indulging in the moment she then opened her eyes and looked into Mark blazing blue ones. Mark then dipped in and kissed her softly on the lips. Roxie indulged in the sweet assault before putting her arms around his neck and pulling him in closer and intensifying the kiss. The duo fell back against the door and Mark eagerly searched for the lock on the door in succession he then lifted Roxie up with ease. Roxie wrapped her legs around his waist and Mark carried her over to the bed where he laid her down. He then pulled off his shirt and smiled down at Roxie before moving in and continuing the kiss.

AT SKYES HOME

Skye was sat waiting for her sister to arrive home praying she arrived home alone. She needed to know why her sister was there and find out how her date with Chan went. She soon got her answer as she heard the key in lock and the door flung open and the couple stumbled inside. Skye watched as Chan's hands explored her sister's body in the same way they had hers. Unable to watch anymore Skye cleared her throat causing the duo to stop. Ryan smiled at Skye and composed herself trying to stop Chan who was still very hands on. Chan then controlled himself and looked over and was stunned at the sight of Skye before him.

"Skye"

"Oh so you do know each other?" asked Ryan wondering if the two had ever crossed paths at work

"Not really no" replied Skye staring in disgust at Chan

"Ok well maybe you can get to know each tomorrow morning at breakfast" she smiled taking his hand and moving off but she was soon stopped when Chan stood firm.

"I should go" he said trying to excuse himself

"What because of Skye?"

Chan looked at Skye and then back at Ryan.

"I'll call you" he said pulling himself free and leaving

Ryan stood shocked at his departure and she looked over at her sister.

"What was that about?" she asked

"Don't take it hard it probably wasn't you. He probably just felt uncomfortable"

Skye smiled and walked past her sister and made her way upstairs to bed.

BACK AT THE HOSPITAL

Mark collapsed at the side of Roxie in an exhausted heap they both looked at each other and smiled.

"How you doing now?" he asked with a devilish smile

"Pretty good" she replied with an equally devilish smile. Mark kissed her once on the lips and closed his eyes relaxing. Roxie then sat on the edge of the bed and started to get dressed.

"What are you doing?" he asked

"I'm getting dressed"

"Why?"

"I have patients that need me"

"I need you" he said wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her down in a heap of laughter

"You don't need me" she said looking at him "You just want me"

"And?"

"And there's nothing wrong with that at all but I have patients" she said fighting back to a seated position as she reached out and put her pants on she then stood up and pulled them on. She picked up her coat and threw it on the bed as she looked for her shoes. Mark saw the letter in her pocket and pulled it out. "Ok I lost a shoe, will you help me?" she asked looking back at him and seeing him holding the letter. She snatched the letter out of his hand "That's mine" she pushed the letter back in her pocket threw on her coat and started looking frantically for her shoe as Mark got up and threw on his pants.

"Rox…"

"Where is it?" she screamed frustrated still looking for her shoe

"Roxie you need to read that letter"

Roxie stopped searching and looked at Mark "No I don't" she then continued to look for her shoe. Mark spotted the shoe and picked it up.

"There might be something in that letter that could help you with all of this"

"The only thing I need help with is finding my shoe" she said looking up at Mark seeing the shoe in his hand. She angrily took the shoe out of his hand put it on and headed for the door. Mark stopped her at the door by pushing the door closed.

"I'll be here for you" Roxie fought her way out and managed to open the door and escape Mark before he could stop her. A topless Mark stood at the door and called out after Roxie. "Roxie you can't run away from this" As the whole room stared at Mark, Dr Bailey appeared and looked on at Mark. Mark saw her and the rest of the room looking and realised he was stood shirtless.

"So you two made up?" asked Bailey sarcastically

Mark walked back into the on call room to finish getting dressed.

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie rode up on her motorbike and pulled in next to Skye who had just arrived and was stood by her car. Roxie pulled off her helmet and looked at Skye who looked as frustrated as Roxie felt.

"Chan went on a date with Ryan" declared Skye

"I slept with Mark" said Roxie trying to make her friend feel better

Skye smiled at her and Roxie climbed off her bike. The two looked at each other and then together walked into the hospital. They arrived at the elevator and the doors opened they waited for people to exit the elevator and then they stepped inside before the doors had time to close Chan appeared. He looked at Skye and then at Roxie.

"Skye I didn't know she was…"

"You think I care if you screw my little sister? Go ahead enjoy" said Skye not meaning a word of it

Roxie raised her eyebrow as the hostility overwhelmed her. Chan didn't know how to respond to Skye and just turned away and stood silent until his floor. The doors opened and now that Skye's discomfort was over it was time for Roxie's. As Chan exited Mark walked in. He stepped behind the girls and stood staring at Roxie. The elevator stopped and the doors opened and Skye stepped out first before Roxie could get out Mark took her hand and pulled her back into the elevator.

"Let go of me" screamed Roxie as Mark restrained her the doors then closed and Mark hit the emergency stop button

"Open the letter"

"I burnt it" she stated

Mark then took her bag from her and Roxie fought with him unsuccessful as he pulled out the letter. He threw the bag to the ground and held the letter.

"You have to read this otherwise you're never going to stop hurting"

"I'm not hurting"

"Yes you are"

Roxie knew he was right but she couldn't bring herself to read the letter "What if…what if she blames me…or my dad…you don't know what's in there. You don't what could happen by me reading that"

"Then let me read it"

"No"

"I can read it and if you don't need to know about its contents I'll burn it and you never have to know what it says. If I think you need to read it I'll give it you back and you can read it in your own time"

Roxie really didn't want to read the letter but her desire to know its contents were stronger and she began to nod her head.

"Ok"

Mark smiled and he opened the envelope and started to read the letter. Roxie stood looking at his expression trying to see if the letter was good or bad. Although it didn't take him long to read the letter it felt like forever to Roxie. He finally finished and put the letter back in the envelope while looking at Roxie. He then held the letter out.

"You need to read it" he stated

Roxie took the letter from Mark and he then started the elevator once again. Roxie quickly hit the emergency stop and Mark looked at her.

"You said you'd be here"

"I will"

Roxie took the letter out of the envelope and began to read it. Mark took hold of her hand as she read on.

Roxie,

I have to start by saying thank you for everything you did as my doctor, your brothers Ali and Harvey and your sister Maria they appreciate what you did. I am a great believer in fate, I don't know if you are but I believe that our lives are predestined and that we just have to go with the flow.

Roxie squeezed Marks hand and he moved in behind her and held her tight nestling his nose and his lips against the back of her neck. Roxie continued to read.

I was completely 100 in love with your father and although I remarried and I love my husband I still love your father, he was my true love and you never ever stop loving that person. Your grandfather thought we were just stupid little teenagers who didn't understand contraception but the truth was we loved each other and wanted to embrace our love which we did with each of you. Unfortunately although we were happy we were struggling. Your grandfather had disowned your father because of me and because of that we were alone in the world. I couldn't work because we couldn't afford childcare so it all rested on your father's shoulders and he worked himself into the ground just to keep a rough over our heads. I begged and pleaded for him to talk to your grandfather but you know how stubborn he is, he wouldn't. One day you and Jess were brought home by Mr Tyrell from the local store, he'd caught you shoplifting food. When I asked you why you did it you both replied 'To help you and daddy' that one sentence changed my life. We had reached rock bottom as you say. Our children were stealing food because we couldn't provide for you no matter how hard your father was working it just wasn't enough. The night before I left I sat up all night watching you and your sisters and your father and I wrote a note explaining everything. The next morning I sent you to school and I took your sisters to the neighbours and told them I needed to go shopping. I went back to the apartment I got a bag of things together and I stood in the kitchen with the note in my hand but I couldn't put it down. I didn't think it explained things in the best way so I didn't leave it then I left. I bought and wrote on a card every year for each of you, I wrote letters. I wrote this same letter a hundred times but I couldn't bring myself to send them because I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I knew I had already. The reason I left was to give you a better life, if I hadn't have left your father wouldn't have contacted your grandfather, which I know he did because your fathers a good man he wouldn't have deprived you of anything. If I'd have stayed I would have ruined the family. He would never have spoken to your grandfather; we would never have gotten out of that tiny apartment. You wouldn't be so successful, I know I hurt you and destroyed your life but you have to know that I did it for good reasons. Not because I stopped loving you, I never stopped. I pray everyday for you girls and I am so happy my prayers came true and you're all fine, healthy and happy, although you are still angry at me. I just had to tell you so that when this happens, you know why and you can stop hurting. Your sisters don't tell them about me. You're right they don't deserve the pain, they don't know about me and they don't need to. Jess you tell Jess because she will look after you. She always did…she's always been a mother.

Ustedes son mis niñas y yo espero que pueda ser feliz

Te quiero muchisimo

With tears streaming down her face she dropped the letter and Mark held her tighter as she sobbed letting out all of her anger and sadness.

**_PLEASE READ AND REVIEW_**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Quite a short chapter for me but there's plenty more to come. Read and Review please!!**

LATER

Skye was walking down the corridor when she saw Chan at the nurse's station she quickly stopped and changed direction thinking Chan hadn't seen her but he had and was watching her walk away when Ryan arrived. Ryan looked at her sister walking away and then smiled at Chan.

"She doesn't bite you know? You could have stayed last night"

"No I couldn't" he stated

"Ok well next time we can go back to yours"

Chan smiled and shook his head "No next time"

"What do you mean?"

"I only went on a date with you to make someone else jealous"

"I'm sorry?"

"I didn't realise that she was your sister"

"Whoa wait you just went on a date with me to make Skye jealous?"

"I didn't know who you were"

"You still went on a date to make her jealous?"

"We slept together and now she's pretending she doesn't want to be me with which I know she does" he said with a smile "I was just going on a date to make her jealous in hopes that she'd realise what she wanted"

"You were going to go to bed with me"

"It's not like she's my girlfriend"

Ryan looked at Chan for a moment and then a huge smile appeared on her face.

"You're right but you're going the completely wrong way of getting my sister"

"How so?"

"Dumping me"

"If you go on a date with any random girl she'll get angry but she won't cave she's too stubborn and proud. If you date me she'll not only cave but she'll probably turn up at your door wearing nothing but a smile"

"Why is this?"

"Because she hates me. I mean she loves but she hates the person I am"

"And what are you suggesting?"

"We date. She'll be at your door before the end of the week"

Chan smiled as he stood with Ryan who was a complete contrast from her sister.

LATER

The door opened and Roxie walked out of the patients room along with Stevens and her interns.

"Rox" called Mark from behind he approached Roxie "You ok?" he asked with genuine concern. Roxie nodded with a slight smile "Really?" he asked

Roxie stopped nodding her head and started shaking it with tears present.

"I will be" she assured him

Mark smiled at her and Roxie left to catch up with her resident and interns.

LATER AT JOES

Skye walked into Joes and approached the bar and ordered herself a drink she spotted Roxie at the end of the bar and joined her.

"Hey"

Roxie looked up and smiled "Hi"

Skye then took a seat next to her friend and looked at her drink for a moment

"I'm jealous" stated Skye talking about Chan

"I'm hurting" admitted Roxie

Skye looked at her friend and could see she was fighting back tears. She asked her friend what was wrong and Roxie proceeded to tell her everything. Skye hugged her friend comforting her the best she could.

THE NEXT DAY

Skye walked with purpose and approached Mark. Mark smiled at her a little amused by her dominant stance she obviously meant business.

"First of all, if you hurt her I will do all womankind a favour and surgically remove your little brain" she said looking down at his crotch, Mark smiled at the threat "Second of all, thank you"

"Excuse me?" asked a confused Mark

"She told me about her mother, you were there for her. You helped her so thank you"

"That killed you didn't it?" asked Mark with a huge smile on his face

"You have no idea" she said walking away as Mark watched her leave.

Derek then approached Mark who was amused by his friends smirk.

"What have you done?" asked Derek

Marks smile grew "I got the hot sexy biker"

"Oh you mean the idiot biker?"

"Trust me she's not an idiot…but definitely hot and sexy" he said with a smirk

"You should be castrated" said his friend with a smile

Mark laughed as Derek walked away. A coffee cup appeared in front of Mark as Bailey looked on. He followed the arm up to Roxie's beautiful face and smiled.

"Coffee?" he asked

"After this week and what happened with my mother and…us. I think we need to be courteous to each other"

"That would be nice"

"Courteous people bring coffee" said Roxie

Mark nodded "I'll remember that"

"Courteous people also have casual drinks after work at Joe's"

"Courteous people would turn up too" smiled Mark

Roxie smiled "I will definitely turn up this time"

"That's very courteous of you"

Roxie laughed and walked away she could feel Marks eyes on her the whole way.

"Now that you're being courteous to each other there's a trauma coming in that will need both of you" said Bailey to Mark after listening to their conversation she then walked away.

LATER

Roxie was walking down the corridor with her cell phone to her ear and being followed by an intern when she saw the residents leaving.

"Grey" she shouted folding her phone up and disconnecting the call.

Meredith turned around and walked back to Roxie. "Yes"

"Are you going over to Joes?"

"Err…yes"

"Do me a favour?"

Grey looked a little confused but nodded her head and listened as Roxie asked for the favour.

LATER AT JOES

Mark sat at the bar with Derek looking at the door in hopes that Roxie would arrive soon. The door opened once again and Mark looked over to see Meredith and the other residents walk in. Derek smiled but didn't seem too bothered that Meredith was there.

"Sloan I have a message from Roxie. She said sorry but she has an emergent surgery she tried to get a hold of you but couldn't reach you" Meredith then looked at Derek and walked back over to her friends

"At least she's sending messages now" said an upset Mark

"And you know she's not sleeping with Karev" he smiled looking over at Meredith who was at the same booth as Karev

"Funny man" Mark sarcastically commented "What's going on with you and Meredith?"

"We're just hanging with our people"

"I'm your people?"

"Sad but yes"

"Thanks I get stood up and insulted"

"She didn't stand you up she sent you a message" smiled Derek reminding him

LATER

The door opened to the on call room and Mark walked in. He looked down at Roxie who was laid asleep on the bed. He closed the door took off his jacket and shoes and laid down beside her and wrapped himself around her. Roxie stirred and looked over at Mark and smiled slightly.

"Hi" she said

"Hey"

"What are you doing here?" she asked sleepily

"Courteous people check on other courteous people in the on call room"

Roxie with her eyes closed smiled "As long as the courteous person isn't expecting anything"

Mark looked over at Roxie and moved her hair off of her face. "Nah nothing" he then settled down and fell to sleep alongside her.

THE NEXT MORNING

Chan was at one end of the nurse's station and Skye stood with Roxie ignoring him at the other. Suddenly Ryan appeared.

"Hey Skye" she said walking past her and over to Chan who greeted her with a kiss as Skye watched on. He then wrapped one arm around her waist while finishing off his chart.

"I was thinking that tonight I could come over to yours and…well I maybe shouldn't give away too much"

"Would make a change" Skye snidely remarked

"Haha" replied Ryan "So tonight?" she asked

"Tonight" smiled Chan

Skye slammed down a chart and walked away. Ryan grinned from ear to ear.

"Told you this would work" she whispered to Chan

"She's not at my door yet"

"It won't be long trust me. I'll see you later" said Ryan walking away and leaving the hospital.

Mark approached the nurse's station and placed a coffee down in front of Roxie who smiled and looked around at Mark.

"Thank you" she said picking up the coffee and taking a sip

"Do courteous people reschedule casual drinks?" asked Mark

"They do but I'm not going to"

"Why not?" he asked bewildered

"Because by tonight I am going to be exhausted. I've had four hours sleep in forty eight, sorry"

"Maybe I could tuck you in?" he suggested with a dirty grin

"I'll think about it" she said picking up her coffee and walking away

"I'm good at tucking" he said as she left

Roxie looked back with a smile on her face "No doubt about it. I'll let you know"

LATER

Mark walked out of the elevator to find Roxie passed out on the chairs. He smiled to himself and lifted her into his arms where she nestled herself.

"Come on lets get you in bed" he said walking out of the building

LATER

Ryan arrived and was stood waiting for Chan to finish up as Skye watched on. Chan then appeared and kissed Ryan and took her hand and the duo left with each other as Skye watched on. Karev then approached and watched them leave.

"He's an idiot"

Skye looked back at Karev "He is?"

"Yeah I mean what kind of guy goes from you to her"

"That's my sister"

"So? She still hasn't got anything on you" he said with a smile

THE NEXT MORNING

Roxie came out of her slumber and focused on the room. She quickly turned over to see Mark was laid next to her. She smiled at him and sat up she then threw her leg over him and straddled the man. She leaned in and kissed Mark bringing him out of his slumber sweetly. Mark smiled as the kiss broke and he saw Roxie had mounted him.

"Good morning" said Mark

"It isn't yet but it does have potential" she said taking off her shirt and delving back in to kiss Mark who was gleefully happy.

AT SKYES

Skye was sat in the kitchen drinking coffee and staring into space when she heard the door. Suddenly Ryan came around the corner and saw Skye sat obviously thinking about something.

"Morning" said Ryan

"Nice night?" asked Skye

"Yeah he's quite impressive" she lied with a smile on her face trying to make her sister jealous. Ryan poured herself a coffee and continued with details "We went to dinner, had a few drinks and then we…well let's just say I got a physical" she said turning back to her sister smiling

At that moment Karev appeared from around the corner and Ryan looked at him astounded.

"Morning" said Karev to the two women

Ryan looked at her sister in awe "Who is this?"

"My names Alex"

"I don't remember asking you" snapped Ryan "What's he doing here?"

"Use your imagination sweetheart" replied Karev

"Again not talking to you"

Karev smiled "I'm late I'll see you at the hospital" Karev then walked out of the door. Ryan waited until she heard the door slam she then stepped forward towards her sister.

"You slept with him?"

"Yep"

"What about Chan?"

Skye looked at Ryan "He told you?"

"Yes"

"And you still went out with him"

"No, I didn't"

"You could have fooled me turning in at seven in the morning"

"I slept on his couch. This was just a plot to make you jealous which obviously worked but I didn't think you were the kind of person to go and jump into bed with the nearest guy"

"No that would be you right?"

Ryan controlled herself knowing that her sister was angling for a fight

"Chan likes you and you obviously like him otherwise you wouldn't have slept with Alex"

"Chan was going to sleep with you. If you hadn't been you and you hadn't come back here he would have slept with you. They're not the actions of someone who has feelings for another person"

"You slept with Alex and you like Chan"

"Ryan when are you going to stop acting like a little kid? You get in trouble then come running to me to help you. Then you and Chan are playing stupid little games for my benefit"

"I was just trying to help"

"Well you didn't, you just make things harder"

Skye stood up and collected her things and stormed out of the house leaving Ryan behind. Ryan quickly pulled out her cell phone.

"We need to talk can you meet me?"

LATER AT WORK

Chan walked up to Skye and grabbed her by the wrist and walked her into the conference room.

"Karev?" he asked starting the conversation

"My sister?"

"I didn't sleep with her"

"You would have though"

"You know I am sick of these games we're playing with each other. We sleep together, you shoot me down, we sleep together again, you shoot me down again…I go on a date with a girl, a girl who I didn't know was your sister, nothing…no reaction whatsoever. It was her idea to pretend to date she said it would make you jealous which apparently it did. So much so that you slept with Karev. I'm through playing games. You slept with him I can live with that but I'm not going to keep letting you shoot me down. You either like me or you don't. If you don't you can't stop me from dating or judge me when I do. I'm not Alex Karev if you're my girl, you're my girl…there's no one else. Just make your mind up whether you are my girl or not"

Chan walked away and Skye stood feeling awful about the night before she then saw Karev who spotted her watching and approached her.

"Last night was…impressive" he said with a smile

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm glad you've got good memories of it because that's all there is…your memories"

"What?"

"Karev you didn't think that I loathed myself enough to find comfort in your arms? I just wanted to get laid and you were there. I would never loathe myself that much" she said walking away from Karev

LATER

Skye approached the NICU and knocked on the window to Chan who walked out to greet her.

"What's wrong?" asked Chan

"It wasn't good between us" she stated

"Right so you shoot me down, sleep with Karev then come and criticise my performance"

"Shut up" she demanded "It wasn't good…it was the best I've ever had" Chan smiled as she continued "I like you, you're a cute, sweet, fun and sexily arrogant guy"

"Arrogant?"

"Yeah it's one of your pros"

"So what does this mean?"

MOMENTS LATER

Skye backed Chan into the on call room she locked the door and pulled off her shirt and stepped out of her pants and stood before him in nothing but her underwear she then smiled and approached him kissing him passionately. He lifted her up and placed her on the table he stepped in between her legs still kissing and only parting long enough to remove his shirt the duo got closer and soon they indulged on each other.

LATER

Ryan appeared at the nurse's station looking for her sister and spotted Karev.

"You" she snarled

"And you" replied Karev

"She doesn't like you, you know?"

"Maybe not but you do"

"Yeah right of course I do"

"I saw that look that this morning"

"The one of disgust?"

"The one of lust…you want me. You're just angry and bitter because your sister got me first" he said approaching her

"You're not my type I like a real man"

"Cute but sweetheart you couldn't handle me"

She smiled as his arrogance enveloped her "No little boy you couldn't handle me"

"I've got some time if you want to me try"

Ryan smiled as she took Karev's hand and led him away.

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW - ALL CRITICISM IS WELCOME**


	11. Chapter 11

TWO WEEKS LATER

AT MARKS HOTEL ROOM

Roxie stood under the shower head with the hot water beating down on her suddenly a smile crept on her face as Mark butterfly kissed his way to her neck. Roxie bit her lip and turned her head to face Mark. The duo kissed sweetly for a moment then Mark pushed her against the glass door and continued his seduction.

AT THE HOSPITAL

Chan and Skye were at the nurse's station staring at each other. Stevens was talking in circles to Skye as she watched the man in front of her. He then winked at her and walked away. Skye turned to Yang.

"Yang go take your interns to the pit. I have something I need to do before rounds"

"Oh ok" said Yang

Skye walked away and made her way down the corridor she then stopped suddenly and looked around her to make sure no one saw her. When the coast was clear she opened the door and walked into the storage room before she had time to close the door Chan had her pressed up against it as he attacked her with a passionate kiss.

AT MEREDITHS HOUSE

Izzie stood in the corridor with two cups of coffee in her hands looking tired and frustrated as she stood staring at Karev's door. Suddenly Meredith's door opened and she looked at Izzie and then at Karev's door.

"Oh God Alex" came a scream from within the room

Meredith took a coffee from Izzie and they stood looking at the door waiting to find out who along with Alex had kept them awake for most of the night.

"No one can have sex for this length of time without seriously injuring themselves" said Izzie

"Who is it?" asked Meredith

"Do you think it's the same girl he's been bringing back?"

"No it can't be she wouldn't be able to walk if it were the same girl. You don't think it is do you?" asked Meredith looking at her friend

INSIDE ALEX'S ROOM

"Oh that was good" said Ryan as she straddled Alex smiling down at him.

Alex smiled up at her as he caressed her curves.

"Yeah it was" Alex reached out and took his watch off the nightstand and checked the time. As he did so Ryan leaned over and began to kiss his chest. Alex got a handful of her hair and pulled her up gently. "I have to get ready for work"

"You seriously want to go to work?" she asked gently grazing her nails on his bare chest Alex smiled as he looked up at the insatiable beauty in front of him. He then gripped her arms and threw her on her back and smiled moving in for a deep and sensual kiss. The kiss finally broke and she smiled at him her hands exploring his body.

"I don't want to go to work…I have to go to work" Alex kissed her once on the lips and got up he threw on a pair of boxers and collected a towel to leave the room.

He opened the door to find Izzie and Meredith stood there with their coffees in hand. He closed his door behind him and smiled.

"What?" he asked

"Who's in there?" asked Meredith

"No one" he answered with a snide grin walking away to the bathroom

"We should open the door to find out" said Izzie

"No what if she's…not decent"

"Oh yeah well we'll just have to stand here till she comes out"

"Nice idea but we have to go to work" reminded Meredith

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

The residents were in their locker room getting ready and Izzie and Meredith were still obsessed with Alex's insatiable guest.

"So they were doing it all night?" asked Cristina

"No intervals"

"Wow that's impressive"

"No that's inhuman" said Izzie

Alex then walked into the room and Cristina smiled at him. Alex smiled and shook his head.

"Will you drop it? Who I sleep with is my business"

"Well if you kept your business quiet then we'd be able to sleep"

"If you were getting laid you wouldn't be so bitter" replied Alex

"She's a hound" said Yang

"No she's not" smiled Alex

"She is a hound that's why you don't want anybody to know"

"She is more beautiful than all of you…and I'm not telling you who she is because its got nothing to do with you"

"Oh my God the demon spawn is falling for her" said Yang before walking out

Karev smiled and shook his head Yang was wrong he wasn't falling for her it was just about the sex.

ON THE FLOOR

Mark and Roxie arrived together and Derek greeted them with a smile.

"Good morning"

"I have to go get ready I have a surgery on the board" said Roxie kissing Mark leaving him something to think about.

"I'm in love" stated Mark as he watched her disappear around the corner

"No you're in lust"

"I could be in love"

"In order to love someone else you have to stop loving yourself so much"

"If I don't love her then the sex is just incredible"

Derek laughed at his friend who jumped right from deep and meaningful to shallow and sleazy. Mark looked at Derek and smiled.

LATER IN THE DAY

Roxie approached Mark and handed him a coffee which he accepted with a kiss.

"Thank you"

"You're welcome" she said playing with the buttons on his lab coat

Mark smiled at her and kissed her once again. The duo moved closer to each other the urge to fornicate was intense.

"We can't do it here" said Mark talking into her ear as he sniffed her hair.

"On call room?" asked Roxie with a smile

"Tempting very tempting but I have to go. I have a surgery"

"Ok" she said kissing him and watching him walk away

ELSEWHERE

Chan stepped in behind Skye placing his hand on her hip as he reached for a chart. Skye smiled at his subtle seduction.

"What are you doing?" she asked

"I'm working, you?"

"I was…" she smiled

"So when are you out of here?" he asked

"I'm just finishing up I should be gone in the next hour"

"Ok well yours or mine?"

"That's very presumptuous of you" she smirked

"Like you can say no"

She laughed "Got me there" she admitted her weakness and turned to him "Lets make it my place"

"Again?"

"Something wrong with my place?"

"No I just wouldn't want your sister walking in on us"

"She hasn't been home in nearly two weeks she probably found her next victim"

"Ok" he smiled kissing her sweetly on the lips "So I'll meet you downstairs in an hour?"

"Ok" she replied as she took in the scent of his cologne which in itself buckled her knees

Chan then put down the chart which he hadn't really been looking at and walked away turning back and winking at Skye who admired the view.

AT JOE'S

Karev walked into Joe's and saw Ryan sat at the bar. He walked over and ordered himself a drink and looked at Ryan. The two didn't say a word as his friends watched on.

"My place?" he asked without looking at her

"No let's give your roommates some peace. We'll go to mine tonight" she replied

"When?"

"I'll leave in fifteen minutes you can follow me"

Karev's drink arrived he picked it up and left the bar and joined his friends as Ryan sat at the bar enjoying the fact that no one knew about them.

LATER

The door opened and Karev backed Ryan into the house their lips connected their desperation overtook and they only made it to the sofa where Karev pushed Ryan down. He quickly took off his jacket and pulled off his shirt before moving back in and continuing with the kiss. As the couple began to get hot and heavy they were interrupted as the door opened and Skye followed by Chan was stunned to the spot to see Alex Karev and her sister together.

"Karev?" shouted Skye causing the couple to look around. They both stood up neither one ashamed of what they were doing or of being caught. "This is who you've been sleeping with?"

"I don't see what business this is of yours"

"This is my house"

"This is my life" replied Ryan

"Yeah and you're doing a great job in screwing it up"

"What because I'm sleeping with Alex?"

"That's just one of the reasons" she said directing her disgust at Karev

"Didn't hear any complaints when you were in her position" replied Karev making Chan angry. Skye held Chan back.

"I don't want him in my house"

"Tough because I live here too and I do want him here. In fact I'm going to take him up to 'my' room and enjoy his company and if you don't like that I suggest you go and stay at Chan's"

With that Ryan took hold of Karev's hand and led him upstairs. Karev looked back and smiled at Skye knowing the thought of him and her sister together would drive her insane. Like a bratty little teenager Skye heard the door slam, the music start and the giggling commence. Skye in frustration threw down her bag and marched upstairs and started hammering on her sisters door as Chan rested against the sofa and realised he wasn't going to be getting any that night.

TWO WEEKS LATER

"All I'm saying is we should try dating" suggested Roxie as she got out the car followed by Mark.

"You date in order to get to know each other I think its safe to say we know each other" he said walking around to Roxie's side of the car and backing her against the passenger door looking down at her with a devilish smile.

"Sometimes a girl just needs to date"

"Why?" he said moving in closer and kissing her sweetly

"Take away the sex and what do we have?"

"A lot of free time" he replied with a sinister smile

"Exactly! We're just a blur of sex and work"

"I didn't hear you complaining this morning when we were a blur"

"I'm not complaining about technique the technique is…" she pulled on his shirt "good…very good. The problem I have is that we don't just talk"

"Oh God" said Mark realising he was going to get the 'we should talk and get to know each other' speech. Mark walked away followed by Roxie who was trying to speak to him about their situation

ON THE SURGICAL FLOOR

The elevator doors opened and a bored and annoyed Mark walked out followed by Roxie who was still talking to him although he wasn't listening. Derek turned to see Mark's face and smiled as he watched Roxie take hold of him and turn him to face her.

"Mark"

"I have to get ready for rounds Rox" he said walking away and past Derek who was quick to catch him up.

"Trouble in paradise"

"She wants to date. We're living in each others pockets. There is not an inch of her body I don't know. Yet she wants to date…I know her. I don't need to date"

"What's wrong with dating? You take her to Joe's for drinks, out for a meal even dancing. Dating is good and fun…even better when you're already sleeping with the woman because you don't have to work as hard to impress"

"We go to Joe's, I live in a hotel so we're eating out most nights and I dance with her at Joe's. We're dating she just doesn't realise it"

"You're just worried that any time taken up by dating will take away from your bedroom fun"

Mark stopped and looked at Derek.

"She wants to get to know each other which means a lot of talking. I know what I need to know and she knows what I want her to know"

"If you're serious about her you're going to have to date and get to know each other"

"Like you and Meredith do? She tells you nothing she's dating Yang"

"I talk to Meredith she knows about me. When she's ready I'll sit and listen to her. You won't tell Roxie anything and you don't want to listen to her"

"I listen!"

"How many sisters does she have?"

Mark looks puzzled for a moment and then smiles "There's six of them because she said her Mom walked out on the seven of them. She has six sisters"

Derek smiled "She has seven sisters and a brother"

"No she…she has a brother?"

"Her mother walked on out her and her six sisters. Her father and step mother have had two kids together a girl and a boy"

"How do you know this?" asked Mark

"I listen"

"She just told you about them?"

"No I asked getting to know people is fun, helps you to understand them. You need to date"

Derek then walked away and Mark looked after him.

"We're already dating" shouted Mark after him.

LATER

Grey, Stevens, O'Malley and Yang were stood at the nurse's station watching and discussing the revelation of Alex's once mysterious and amorous lover.

"I can't believe she's McKenzie's sister" said Grey as they watched Ryan drape herself on Alex

"She's nothing like her" added Stevens

"Yeah I always had Doc McKenzie down as a prude obviously pole dancer McKenzie is not" commented Yang

"Like you're a nun?" O'Malley reminded. Yang looked at O'Malley with a look of fury "All I'm saying is you're not exactly the Virgin Mary. None of us are. She's just sexually adventurous"

"She's a whore" stated Yang

"How? She's only sleeping with Alex and she's been with him a long time now…I think this might be a relationship"

"A relationship oh please. She's a whore and he's a dog this isn't a relationship this is sex"

"Cristina…" said O'Malley trying to shut her up as Skye approached.

"Don't worry about it O'Malley she's right my sister is a whore and Alex Karev is a dog. Also they're both incapable of a relationship; Dr Yang's right its just sex. Now if you're finished with your little gossip and ridicule session there are patients"

Roxie walked past Alex and Ryan looking back at their open display of affection as she approached the group at the nurse's station.

"They're still together?" asked Ryan

"They're just having sex" stated Skye frustrated by her sister's actions

"Karev you still work here right?" shouted Roxie

Karev and Ryan said goodbye and Karev joined the group.

"Ok Karev unfortunately you're on my service today and Grey you're with Dr McKenzie. Yang and Stevens I don't know who you're with so go find Bailey and find out" said Roxie "Ok lets go"

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Leoni, McKenzie, Grey, Karev and their interns all entered a room where they saw two huge muscular guys sat on the beds.

"Grey present" said McKenzie as herself and Roxie began to look at the injuries

"Michael Deacon, 38, presents with tib-fib fracture x-rays show a clean break but it will require surgery. And we have Andrew Donovan, 28, presents with broken nose and severely swollen ankle. The broken nose is restricting the air travelling through the nose due to the position of the cartilages which are the cause of the obstruction"

"Ok Mr Donovan I will check out your ankle and someone will page Dr Sloan who will come down and talk to you about your nose. I believe it may need a reconstructive rhinoplasty but he is a fully certified ears, nose and throat guy so he'll know more than I do about it"

"Ok thank you doctor"

"Mr Deacon the tib-fib fracture will have to be corrected in surgery after that a lot of rehabilitation and you'll back on your feet in about three to six months"

"Can I ask how this happened both of you getting injured like this?"

"We're wrestlers…"

"No kidding?" smiled Karev

"…The match went a little wrong and all three of us got injured"

"I'm sorry three?" asked Roxie

"Yeah our friend he pulled a pec muscle and took a bump to the head the doc onsite said he was fine"

"Where is he now?"

"He went to make a call to let people know what's been said about us"

"Err…ok I can understand Dr McKenzie being here with her being Ortho but why are we here?" asked Karev

"Because Dr Karev if you were to read Mr Deacon's chart you'd see that the CT showed Mr Deacon has a ruptured spleen. Now Dr Karev maybe you could explain to the patient the treatment method for a ruptured spleen"

"Yes Dr Leoni, to treat a ruptured spleen we will have to take you into surgery where we will try to repair the spleen but depending on the severity we may have to remove the whole spleen with an operation called a splenectomy. This will most likely be the case but like I said it does depend on the severity. Also we will have to give you a blood transfusion to maintain an adequate blood supply to the organs in your body"

"Ok…" replied a nervous patient

"You'll be fine Mr Deacon but we do have to get you to the OR immediately so Dr Karev will prep you" said Roxie

"And after I have dealt with your friend I will scrub in and work on your leg" added Skye

"Big day" said the patient trying to make light of the situation

SHORTLY AFTER

Roxie approached the nurse's station and asked for the chart for Mr Deacon she turned to make her way down to the OR and was distracted as the door to the room opened and the patient was rolled out. Roxie looked hard into the room looking at the third person the one that Mr Deacon and Mr Donovan had spoken about earlier.

"Dr Leoni are you ready to go?" asked Karev

Roxie stopped staring at the room and turned to her patient with a smile assuring him he was going to be fine. They then made their way down to the OR.

**_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_**

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	12. Chapter 12

LATER

After the successful surgery Mr Deacon was taken to recovery. Roxie and Alex were walking back.

"It must have been one hell of a match for all these injuries to have occurred" said Karev

Roxie shook her head "They do it to entertain. They put their bodies through all of this to entertain people. I think you have to be near crazy to even start in the wrestling business"

"It's an art"

"It's an asylum, what guy wakes up in a morning and decides he wants to put his body through this kind of hell four nights a week to entertain other people"

"Unless you love it you can't understand it. People look at us as doctors and wonder how we can do what we do and make the decisions that we do and take the responsibilities that we do. To them we're crazy but to us it just life"

"Yeah but we're saving lives not risking our own"

"Like I said unless you love it you can't understand it" said Karev walking away and leaving Roxie alone at the nurse's station.

She looked into the room where Mr Deacons friends were. She watched as Mark was there along with Skye explaining the rhinoplasty procedure. Roxie couldn't help but look at the third guy. Through the blinds she could just about see him and from what she could see he looked incredibly familiar. Roxie continued to watch the room and noticed the third guy was rubbing his head she then watched as he collapsed to the floor. As Mark and Skye tended to him she ran into the room.

"What happened?" asked Mark

"He was rubbing his head then he just went down" said Roxie as she tried to get to the patient.

Mark moved out of the way and Roxie stood motionless as the familiar face she'd been staring at was now recognisable.

"Sean?" she asked looking at the guy

At that moment the room filled with aids as Mr Donovan shouted frantically asking about his friend. Roxie felt like the room was spinning as she couldn't believe this guy she knew was there in front of her. Mark looked at her knowing this was somebody she didn't want him knowing about.

"Lets get him on a stretcher" ordered Mark as Roxie snapped out of her daze and began to help.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Roxie stood staring as Derek examined the patient. Mark was staring at Roxie whose look of concern for this patient was giving him reason to be concerned.

"What do we know about him?" asked Derek

"Someone is talking to his friend now" replied Mark

"Sean Leoni, 31, wrestler banged his head during a match was cleared by the onsite doctor, most likely a grade lll concussion. Has been unconscious for seventeen minutes. Also apparently pulled a pectoral muscle which Dr McKenzie is on her way to look at. Also suffered an additional knock to the head when he fell to the ground"

Mark looked at Roxie as she reeled off all his details.

"Ok…" started Derek "Well we need to get him for an CT so when Dr McKenzie is finished with his friend can someone tell her where he is?"

"I'll do it" said Karev

"Stevens take Mr Leoni for a CT and page me"

"Yes Dr Shepherd"

The room quickly cleared leaving Stevens behind getting him ready to transport. Roxie walked over to the nurse's station and turned back to the room and watched. Mark appeared and looked down at Roxie who was fixated on the room.

"Sean Leoni, is he family?"

Roxie hesitated for a moment "Sort of"

"How can he be sort of family? He either is or he isn't"

"It's complicated" she said looking at Mark "Don't you have the rhinoplasty to do"

"Yeah I do" he said walking away from Roxie knowing she was hiding something

Skye approached Roxie who watched as Stevens wheeled him out the room.

"Ok apparently his name is…"

"Sean Leoni" said Roxie finishing off her sentence and looking at her friend

"Leoni?"

Roxie hesitated she hoped she would never have to disclose this information to anyone.

"He's my husband" she declared to a stunned Skye

"What?"

"I haven't seen him in four years"

"Oh God"

"I have a surgery" she said very nonchalant as though not letting her husband's appearance bother her although it obviously was.

THE GALLERY ABOVE OR TWO

Roxie was down in the OR removing a tumour as the gallery above was full of onlookers. One of the onlookers being Derek who was paying attention to the screen when he was joined by Mark.

"Hey"

"Hi how's Mr Leoni?" he asked curiously

"I'm not sure I haven't been paged yet. Why the interest in my case?"

"No reason" he said watching Roxie from above

"She knew him didn't she?"

"Apparently yeah"

"And this bothers you?"

"When a tall dark and handsome guy appears and collapses giving her a look of concern like she had…yeah bothers me a little bit"

"You're jealous of an unconscious guy?" asked Derek with a smile

"No I'm not jealous and it's his conscious self I'm worried about"

"It's cute you being jealous, strange, but cute" suddenly Derek's pager went off and he walked out of the gallery leaving Mark watching on and wondering what the story was between her and Mr Leoni.

A WHILE LATER

Derek walked into the patients room to find a full conscious and confused Mr Leoni waiting for him.

"Welcome back Mr Leoni. I'm Dr Shepherd I'm you're neurosurgeon"

"Neuro why do I need neuro?"

"Mr Leoni you have an Epidural hemorrhage which was most likely caused by the match you were in and the head injury you sustained. An epidural hemorrhage results from laceration of an artery, most commonly the middle meningeal artery. This is a very dangerous type of injury because the bleed is from a high-pressure system and deadly increases in intracranial pressure can result rapidly. Which means I need to take you into surgery immediately but first I need your consent and I need you to fully understand what is happening so are there any questions?"

"Who are you?" asked Sean

"Posttraumatic amnesia?" asked Stevens

Derek looked at Stevens and then back at Sean "I'm Dr Shepherd can you tell me who you are?"

"Sean…"

"Sean what is you last name?"

"Sean…" Sean struggled

The door opened and Roxie appeared thankful to find Sean conscious.

"How is he?" she asked Derek

"Rocky" smiled Sean

Roxie looked at Sean with a look of concern on her face not only for his health but for her privacy and reputation.

"Hi"

"Rocky what happened?" he asked

"You need to listen to Dr Shepherd"

"He has PTA" said Derek.

Roxie ran her hands through her hair and walked around to Sean

"Sean can you tell me your last name?"

"You look beautiful"

"Sean this is important…your last name?"

"Leoni"

"Good that's good" she smiled "How old are you?"

"You know how old I am" he said taking hold of her hand

"How old are you Sean?"

The room went quiet and Roxie could see him struggling. She knew he couldn't answer and it was frustrating him.

"It's ok…Sean you have to have an operation. Dr Shepherd" she pointed at Derek "You see him?" Sean nodded "He's going to take you down and he's going to operate on you. He's the best; he'll do a great job"

"Rocky my head hurts"

Roxie nodded her head "I know it does"

"I need his consent" said Derek

"You're not going to get it" stated Roxie

"I need an operation" said Sean

Roxie turned back to Sean and saw the sadness in his eyes.

"Mr Leoni we need you to sign this consent form"

"Can my wife deal with that? I just want to go get the surgery"

"Of course we just need to know how to contact your wife" asked Stevens

"Look across the bed sweetie"

Stevens looked over at Roxie and the room stood still as they realised that Mark Sloan's girlfriend was the wife of their patient.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Roxie couldn't bring herself to watch them operate on Sean and she waited in the lobby. As she sat silent she was joined by Mark.

"This dating thing…"

"Mark I can't talk about this right now"

"What's wrong?"

"I just can't think…I can't do…"

"This is your friend right?"

Roxie looked at Mark and knew she had to tell him before someone else in the hospital did.

"He's not my friend. Mark he's my husband"

Mark gave Roxie a confused look.

"I didn't think I'd ever see him again. I left him four years ago"

"You're husband?"

"Mark don't flip out please…I can't handle you flipping out"

"You didn't tell me"

"I didn't think I had to. Like I said I haven't seen him in four years"

"You obviously still care about him"

Roxie looked at Mark and shook her head she couldn't believe he was doing this right at that time in that place. She stood up and walked away from Mark.

LATER

Roxie along with Derek were in Sean's room after the surgery.

"Someone should contact his parents"

"I think that's up to you" said Derek

"I haven't done anything wrong"

"Excuse me?" asked Derek

"I haven't cheated on anybody or misled anybody. The only thing I've done is not track him down and get a divorce for that I'm guilty but I didn't do anything else. I know Mark thinks I did…I know he feels threatened. He can't understand why I'm here, why I'm concerned. If your ex wife were in this condition you'd be there right?"

"Yeah" he said nodding and sympathising

"You don't just turn it off. I'm not in love with Sean anymore but that doesn't mean that I don't love him. He's not my husband or my lover but he's still family…does this make any sense?" she said tilting her head back and trying to make sense of it all

"Yeah I get it. I felt that way when Addison arrived in Seattle and found out about Meredith. I wanted to be with Meredith but Addison was my family and had been for the past decade you can't switch it off. I understand it. It's exactly as you said, you're not in love him anymore but it doesn't mean that you don't love him"

Derek walked out of the room leaving Roxie waiting for Sean to regain consciousness. Derek made his way over to the nurse's station where Mark was staring into the room.

"It's her husband"

"I know but you have nothing to worry about"

"Oh no? Then why is my girlfriend in there waiting for her husband to wake up?"

Mark walked away feeling angry and hurt and Derek wished he could follow him and explain to him what was happening but he knew that he wouldn't be able to understand because he'd never felt that way about anybody before.

ELSEWHERE

Skye was sat reading Sean's chart and looking at his scans to determine the severity of his pectoral tear. Chan came from behind and sat down kissing her on the cheek. Skye smiled at him and he looked at the chart.

"Roxie's husband?" he asked

"Yeah"

"I guess Mark's pretty pissed?"

"I don't know I haven't seen him but I can only imagine his reaction"

"I would have thought you'd be smiling about this you don't like Mark"

"No I don't but Roxie does. If he's being a jackass its Roxie he's gonna hurt"

"Nah…you think so I think it might be love"

"No it's not love…Mark Sloan loves no one but himself. He's going to act like a spoilt child and do something ridiculously stupid and that's going to hurt her because Rox…she is falling in love with him"

"When are you getting in to do the pec muscle?" he asked changing the subject

"When I get the all clear from Shepherd" she sighed frustrated

"How about tonight we go out have dinner then go home and just enjoy the night"

"With Karev and Ryan?"

"We'll go to my place" he said leaning over and smiling

Skye smiled back "Deal"

Chan kissed her "I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah" she said watching him walk away

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie walked onto the floor and made her way to Sean's room she walked in and looked on in disbelief as Mark stood before her talking to the patient.

"What are you doing here?" she asked

"I'm checking on the patient" replied Mark

"Oh the guy with no brain is talking to the patient about his?" she snarled as she couldn't believe he was posing as a neurosurgeon in order to talk to Sean

Mark shot a look at Roxie and stormed out of the room.

"Rocky" said Sean. Roxie turned to him and he could see the frustration on her face. "What's wrong?"

"He is from plastics. If he comes in here again ignore him"

"Boyfriend?" asked Sean

"How are you this morning?" she asked changing the subject

"I don't know I'm waiting for the doc to tell me"

"You're an idiot"

"Oh here we go"

"Yeah here we go. You go out there and do this to yourself and I bet right now all you're thinking is when will I be able to wrestle again?"

"Rock it's my life, my decision and I love what I do"

"Sean you don't get it do you? You had brain surgery…your stupid onsite doctor cleared you and you collapsed. If you hadn't come to the hospital with your friends anything could have happened. You could have collapsed while you were alone and God knows what would have happened. It's bad enough that you do this to yourself but then to have a dumbass quack sending you on your way is just unreal"

"He made a mistake"

"If he was doing his job right you should have been sent to the hospital on his orders. You should have been seen by our staff, the haemorrhage should have been picked up sooner. You shouldn't have been walking around like that and collapsing on the ground. Do you realise if you had hit your head harder on the ground than you had it could have been fatal?"

"What do you care? You left me remember?"

"Yeah for this reason. I couldn't sit around and wait for you to kill yourself"

"I'm not going to kill myself"

"You nearly did!" she screamed

OUTSIDE

Mark stood outside and watched as the married couple talked. Unable to make out what they were actually saying he depended on his own imagination and couldn't help but imagine the worst.

LATER

Roxie walked into the room to find Mark sat with the laptop in front of him. She looked at him and he never once looked up at her she knew he was angry.

"I'm not going to apologise for him turning up. I can't help that"

"You were the one who wanted to date to get to know each other and here you are married…were you going to tell me?"

"Telling the guy who I'm sleeping with that I'm married isn't a top priority"

"Now I'm just the guy you're sleeping with?"

"You know what I mean. Anyway you have things you haven't told me"

"I'm not secretly married"

"It's not a secret!"

"No not anymore"

"It never was, I wasn't keeping it from you its just apart of my past that I want to leave in the past. I couldn't have predicted that he was going to turn up here"

"Mark I don't love him…I fell out of love with him a long time ago. Just because I don't love him anymore doesn't mean that I don't care. I know you're disgusted in me for even being in the same room as him but you'd be even more disgusted in me if I were to turn my back on him" Mark sat silent looking at the computer "I'll tell you everything if you want to hear it"

"I don't" he said standing up and walking away from Roxie.

The door opened and Derek walked in and poured himself a coffee looking over at Roxie who was sat on the edge of the table staring into space.

"You ok?" asked Derek turning around with his coffee

"He's angry at me for something that 'ended' four years ago"

"He's not angry he's upset and worried"

"Why?" she asked turning to Derek

"He's falling for you…he's letting himself fall for you and then this happens and he's worried that this guy is competition and his way of dealing with it is by making an argument out of nothing just so that if anything should come of it he'll not look like an idiot because he saw it coming. Just stay strong and don't give in to him" Derek smiled and walked out of the room.

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW - THANK YOU!!**


	13. Chapter 13

AT JOES BAR

Mark walked over to the bar and looked at Hahn who was sat there by herself. Nothing was said but Hahn drank her drink put down the empty glass.

"Ok you can sit with me as long as you buy the drinks"

Mark smiled and sat down ordering himself and Hahn a drink.

"Why aren't you with your little woman?" asked Hahn

"She's busy" replied Mark not actually sure where she was, what she was doing or who she was with but he did have his suspicions.

"I heard about her husband turning up"

Mark smiled he knew the entire hospital would know and he couldn't help but feel like an idiot.

"By you being here and her not I'm assuming you two aren't speaking?"

"It's not that we're not speaking its that she'd rather be with her husband" he said looking directly at Hahn and smiling

"I never had you down as one for giving up"

"Its not like we were dating we were just sleeping together" said Mark knowing it wasn't true.

"So if you were just sleeping together then why are you drowning your sorrows?"

"I'm not I'm celebrating being single" he smiled sipping at his drink

LATER

Roxie was stood with her phone to her ear waiting for Mark to answer she shook her head as it went to voicemail. She walked into the stairwell.

"Mark it's me. I just wanted to talk to you about Sean. I think it's sweet that this is bothering you but trust me there is no reason to worry. Me and Sean were just dumb kids when we got married and it didn't work. He cheated on me and I walked out. I never got a divorce because I never wanted to speak to him again. When he collapsed I couldn't help but worry and its not because I feel anything for him its because at one time he was my only family. And you can't change your family and you can't help but care about them no matter how much they hurt you. That's all it is I promise. I'm going to get my divorce while he's here. Just stop ignoring me please" Roxie hung up the phone and walked out of the stairwell and looked at Sean in his room she decided that it was now or never. She made her way over to his room and walked inside.

THE NEXT DAY

Mark stirred out of his sleep and looked around the room. His head was pounding as he remembered the amount of alcohol he'd consumed the night before. He slowly sat up on the edge of the bed he held his head in his hands.

"It's a good job you scored with me last night because you wouldn't stand a chance looking like that"

Mark looked up and over at the bathroom door where Hahn was stood in the doorway. Mark closed his eyes and put his head back in his hands as he realised what he'd done in his drunken state. Hahn stood in the doorway feeling very smug as she realised she'd finally got her own back on Roxie who she hadn't forgotten had made a mockery of her on her arrival.

AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie arrived at the hospital where she walked in to see Karev and Ryan kissing. She was soon joined by Skye who looked at her sister in disgust and shook her head as she and Roxie approached the elevator. They stepped inside and the fury remained on Skye's face until the doors closed then she shook her head and looked at her friend.

"How's Sean?"

"What's happening with Karev and your sister?"

"I don't want to talk about it"

"And I don't want to talk about Sean"

"You're married?"

"I'm getting divorced"

"Just like that?"

"I asked him last night and he agreed to divorce me"

"When were you married?"

"We got married because everybody hated us being together. We rebelled"

"So love then?"

"We loved each other it just wasn't real love you know what I mean?"

"Yeah how's Mark taking it?"

"Oh he's taken really well. He won't talk to me he won't listen me he's actually driving me insane. How are you and the gyno guy doing?"

Skye smiled "We're pretty good, in fact he's been great. He's been listening to me going on and on about Ryan and he's not said anything he just sits and listens"

"Sounds like you're enjoying him"

"I am" she smiled "All I need to do now is get Karev off my sister and my sister out of Seattle"

"Good luck with that"

The elevator door then opened and they both walked out going their separate ways.

IN THE LOBBY

Mark arrived at work and took out his phone ready to page Roxie to meet him in the lobby. He noticed he had a voicemail and listened to it. As he listened to the message left by Roxie the night before he started to feel even worse than he already did. He didn't know why he'd slept with Hahn all he could do was put it down to the combination of alcohol and the sudden arrival of Roxie's husband. Mark put his phone back in his pocket and got on the elevator. He got off on the surgical floor and walked straight into Roxie. The couple stood awkward and silent for a moment just staring at each other.

"Mark…"

"I have to go I'm late" he said whilst walking away

"Mark!" said Roxie calling after him. Derek arrived and watched his friend leave and looked at Roxie who turned and looked at him. "I know you said be strong but he's pushing it Derek" she said walking past Derek

IN THE LOCKER ROOM

Derek walked in to find Mark sitting on the bench staring at the ground.

"Are you trying to push her away?" asked Derek "She left him four years ago…"

"I slept with Hahn" admitted Mark to his best friend

"You slept with Hahn? When?"

"Last night"

"What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't. I couldn't get Roxie and that guy out of my head and I drank and the next thing I remember is Erica Hahn coming out of my bathroom this morning"

"Erica Hahn?" asked Derek in disbelief

"Yeah"

"What about Roxie?"

"Derek I have to get ready for work" he said trying to get rid of his friend so he could avoid dealing with his problems

"You're going to lose her if you carry on like this. Well you've actually lost her because Hahn will take great pleasure in telling her about last night"

Mark looked at Derek and realised he was right. Mark ran out of the locker room in search for Hahn he ran around the corner to find Hahn just about to walk away.

"Hahn!" he called getting her attention she smiled as he approached her

"We need to talk about what happened"

"Oh about you and I sleeping together last night?"

"Hahn you can't say anything to anyone. Roxie cannot find out"

"Why not? I think it would be fun" smiled Hahn

"Erica please"

"Oh please? You're desperate then"

"She can't find out"

"Fine I wouldn't want to admit it to anyone anyway" she said walking away.

Mark sighed with relief and turned and made his way back to the locker room. At that moment Yang appeared from inside a nearby room having heard everything she smiled with delight.

LATER IN THE ON CALL ROOM

Alex rolled off of Ryan and collapsed next to her with a smile on his face. Ryan rolled onto her side and rested her head on his chest.

"You know I could do with a job here"

"What you're going to become a doctor?"

"No but I could become a nurse" she said straddling him

"A nurse"

"Yeah don't you think I can do it?"

"It's not that but why would you want to be a nurse?"

"Why don't you have a dirty nurse fantasy?"

"I've done the nurse thing"

"Really you dirty, dirty boy" she said kissing Karev

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Karev and Ryan departed from the on call room and Karev kissed Ryan goodbye as she left. Karev walked over to Stevens.

"So you got your fix for the day?" asked Stevens

"Shut up you're only jealous because you're not getting any"

"Hardly and I don't think you getting your kicks with the slutty sister of Dr McKenzie is anything to be jealous of"

"She's not a slut"

"Yeah right"

"She isn't…"

Stevens looked at Karev for a moment and realised that he was falling for her "Oh my God you're falling for her"

"No, no I'm not"

"You're falling for Ryan"

"Shut up you don't know what you're talking about" said Karev storming off

ELSEWHERE

Ryan spotted her sister and approached her.

"Hi"

"Hey what are you doing here?" she asked

"I just…well I shouldn't have to spell it out for you"

"Oh ok" said Skye stopping and looking at her sister "What are you doing with Alex Karev?"

"Like I just said I shouldn't have to spell it out"

"You usually mount a guy, dismount and leave. Why are you still with him? Do you think you're bothering me by being with him?"

"No but I obviously am"

"No you're not what's bothering me is that you're still here. I don't know what happened in California but I think it's time you went back"

"I'm not going back to California Skyler and you need to get used to that. As for me and Alex he doesn't judge me like you. I can be myself around him and he doesn't try to change that. The only person I have ever met who hasn't tried to change me"

"You're falling for him" said Skye realising her sisters unusually long involvement with Karev was actually a relationship

"No I'm not I'm just enjoying him" she sternly replied and walked away

LATER

Yang approached Hahn at the nurse's station. Hahn looked up from her chart to see Yang stood strong in front of her. Roxie appeared at the other side of the nurse's station and Yang smiled.

"What do you want Yang?" asked Hahn

"I want in on the coronary angioplasty you have scheduled for this afternoon"

"I don't need your help"

"I wasn't asking"

"Oh you were demanding?" asked Hahn

"No I'm telling you…I'll be scrubbing in and if I'm not I'll just have to tell someone what you were doing last night"

Hahn followed Yang's eyes to Roxie who was stood writing on a patients chart. Hahn smiled sadistically.

"Yang you're not getting in on the surgery"

"I don't think you heard me" threatened Yang

"Oh no I heard you Dr Yang. You said that if I didn't let you in on my angioplasty this afternoon that you would tell Dr Leoni about me sleeping with Dr Sloan last night"

Roxie looked over at Hahn and Yang. She saw the others around staring at her and Dr Hahn and knew she'd heard right. She walked around the nurse's station and approached Hahn who turned to face her as Yang watched on.

"He wouldn't"

"He did" smiled Hahn

"No, you're lying he wouldn't do…no"

"If you don't believe me why don't you go and ask him yourself?"

Roxie stared at Hahn and then at Yang before rushing off to find Mark. As she stormed past in search of Mark, Derek realised she knew and followed her. She found Mark doing his rounds in the plastics wing. She barged into a patient's room

"Can I talk to you?" asked Roxie

"I'm busy"

"I don't care, outside now"

"Mrs Jameson I'm sorry about this"

Mark walked outside where Derek was trying to warn him.

"You slept with Hahn?"

Mark looked at Roxie and then at Derek.

"Rox…"

Roxie could see by the look in his eyes that Hahn was telling the truth and they had slept together the night before. She shook her head and stormed off pushing past Derek.

"You told her?" shouted Mark

"It wasn't me"

Mark soon realised it was Hahn "I'm going to kill her" said Mark going after Roxie

Mark found Roxie outside the hospital in the parking lot where she was getting some air.

"Roxie…"

"You slept with Hahn"

"I'm sorry. I was just confused about Sean and then I went to Joe's and…I don't remember anything about it"

"Maybe you should go and ask Hahn she can fill you in"

"So high and mighty at least I have alcohol as an excuse for sleeping with her, you don't have that with Karev"

"And I'm surprised me being married really bothered you. It didn't seem to when you slept with Derek's wife. I would have thought it would have given you a thrill"

"Cheap…"

"Like your night with Hahn"

"You know since we started this the only thing that's gone right is the sex"

"Seems it's the only thing you're good at"

"Why don't you go back to your husband?" said Mark before walking away

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Chan was with a patient when he spotted Skye walking by he quickly dismissed himself left the room and called after Skye. Skye stopped and waited for Chan to catch up.

"Hi"

"Hello" he said kissing her sweetly "I got something in the post this morning"

"Really?" asked Skye

"Yeah" he said taking an envelope out of his pocket and handing it to Skye. Skye looked at the envelope "Go on open it" Skye opened the envelope to find an invitation to a wedding. "My sisters wedding"

"And you want me to go?" she asked

"Yeah of course I do. I have to have a date to my sisters wedding"

"You want me go with you and meet your family?"

"This is too much for you?" asked Chan

"It's a lot of pressure all the family at one time"

"At a wedding they won't be focusing on you"

Skye was unsure about the wedding but she couldn't say no to the hopeful look on his face.

"Ok"

"Great well I'll RSVP for the both of us then. I'll see you later" he kissed Skye and left.

Skye walked down the corridor and saw Roxie leaning on the counter at the nurse's station and all eyes were on her.

"I'm going to meet Chan's entire family at his sisters wedding"

"I broke up with Mark he slept with Hahn. You were right about him"

"Roxie I'm so sorry"

"This is all because of Sean turning up and you know the irony of it all. I filed for my divorce this morning when he was waking up next to her. The worst thing is she's all smug about it and before I got this job and had to become diplomatic I would have knocked her out now I can't do that"

"It's probably exactly what she wants anyway"

"Probably"

Roxie walked away and her friend couldn't help but feel a little happy. She knew what Mark was like and she had tried to warn her friend and even though her friend was hurting she was glad it hadn't gotten any more serious than what it already was.

LATER AT JOE'S

Roxie was propping herself up at the bar still eyes were on her and she could hear the whispering behind her back. Roxie downed her drink and ordered another.

"Joe another"

"And a scotch single malt" said Derek as he sat down beside her

"You knew" she said referring to Mark and Hahn

"Yes"

"You didn't tell me"

"It wasn't up to me" he replied trying to explain

"Skye warned me about him she warned me that he was a sleaze ball"

"He's a man whore with commitment issues"

"He was fine until Sean arrived. Sean my soon to be ex husband"

"Soon to be?"

"I filed for divorce this morning and then I found out about them. Good day for me, I lost my husband and boyfriend in one day. That is like…really bad. I'm single again"

"Me and Meredith broke up" he said opening up

"You did?"

"Yeah things just weren't working out. I want them to and this may just be a space thing but we're not together anymore"

"Good day for couples hah?"

"I say we sit here get drunk and depress each other with our bad relationships"

"Shouldn't be too hard I'm already depressed and I'm teeny little bit drunk"

"Just a teeny little bit?" smiled Derek

"I feel a lot worse when the room starts spinning" she smiled

Derek laughed as he sipped at his drink.

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW**


	14. Chapter 14

LATER

A taxi pulled up and the door opened and Derek climbed out he then pulled Roxie out of the taxi. Both were heavily intoxicated and laughing hysterically. They made their way to Derek's trailer.

"You stand there" said a drunk Derek as he struggled to get into the trailer.

Roxie began to walk away and Derek returned with a bottle of scotch.

"Where you going?" asked Derek as he watched Roxie stumbling away he put down the scotch and followed her as she stepped off the decking her heel got stuck in the dirt and she stumbled. Derek caught her before she fell and they laughed hysterically. Derek held her up and walked her over to the table where they both sat unsteadily on the chairs as Derek poured yet another drink for them both. Roxie smiled at Derek.

"What?"

"I cannot believe that Derek Shepherd the brain dude lives in a trailer"

"You're not the only one" he smiled "I have a house planned I just didn't want to build it until things were steady with Meredith"

"So you're going to be in the trailer a while then?" she said sarcastically. Suddenly Roxie heard music coming from Derek's trailer. "You know your trailers singing right?"

"Yes"

"Lets dance" she said trying to stand up

"We can barely stand but you want to dance?" he asked watching her struggle he then struggled to meet her and they began to dance uneasily.

Staying vertical seemed too much for them to handle in their drunken state and they stumbled crashing into the trailer door. The duo laughed.

"Its your shoes" said Derek crouching down he began to unfasten her shoes and one by one he unsteadily took off her shoes he struggled back up to a vertical base and smiled as he held up the pair of shoes. The duo looked at each other and suddenly Derek wrapped his arms around her waist taking her in a passionate yet drunken kiss. Derek struggled to open the door and pulled Roxie inside his hands gripped the bottom of Roxie's shirt and he slowly guided it off throwing it to the ground along with her shoes. Roxie began to tug at Derek's shirt successfully pulling it off as Derek backed her onto the bed. She fell on her back and smiled at Derek who smiled back he then unzipped his pants as Roxie unzipped hers simultaneously. Derek stumbled out of his making Roxie giggle. Derek smiled down at Roxie who was amused and he took hold of her pants and pulled them off he threw them to the ground with the rest of the clothes and then moved in and kissed Roxie…

THE NEXT MORNING

Roxie stirred and awoke from her slumber. Her head was aching, her throat was dry and she was fighting the urge to vomit. As her vision became clearer she realised she was in unfamiliar surroundings. She hoped she hadn't made a complete fool of herself as she failed to remember anything after leaving the hospital. She slowly turned her head to a shocking sight.

"Oh crap"

Derek stirred and turned over realising he wasn't alone he opened his eyes to see Roxie laid beside him.

"Oh crap" said Derek

They looked at each other vaguely not remembering how they got there. Before they could think or ask questions a banging came at the trailer door.

"Derek" called a voice

"Oh crap" said Roxie recognising Mark's voice.

"Just keep out of sight" said Derek as he bashfully got out of bed and searched for some clothes. He managed to get on his boxers and a shirt as Mark continued to knock at the door. Roxie got out of bed wrapped in the sheets and started to collect her clothes she then stood out of sight. Derek opened the door.

"God what happened to you?" asked Mark looking at his friend who looked like hell. Derek walked outside and sat down at the table. Mark joined him and smiled at his friend's uncharacteristic behaviour. "Good night?" asked Mark. Derek immediately felt guilty thinking about Roxie inside his trailer and wished he could remember the night before.

"Why are you here Mark?"

"I needed to talk to someone about Roxie"

"What about her?" asked a jumpy Derek

"Hahn was a drunken mistake. I was feeling sorry for myself and I got drunk and she was there. I didn't mean to hurt Roxie in fact that's the last thing I want to do. I was really trying with her but still I went and screwed it up and I said some horrible things to her…Derek I need to get her back and I don't know how"

Roxie's heart sank as she listened from inside the trailer. Derek's guilt was overwhelming as was his urge to vomit.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Mark had left and Derek walked back inside the trailer to find a now fully clothed Roxie sitting on the floor in the corner. Derek looking tired and hung over leant his head against the wall and closed his eyes as Roxie put her head between her legs on the floor. Both were feeling as guilty as the other about their night of debauchery.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Derek and Roxie had successfully managed to avoid each other for the majority of the day but when a case brought them together they found their discomfort overwhelming and evident to everyone else in the room as they began to remember the night before and what exactly happened between them. The two walked out of the room together not sure how they were going to co-exist on the case.

"We need figure something out" said Derek

"I have to tell him"

"No" said Derek stopping and looking at him "You can't tell him about what happened"

"I have to"

Derek took hold of Roxie and pushed her into a store room.

"If you tell him he will never let it go"

Roxie looked at Derek and suddenly realised this wasn't about her and Mark this was about Derek and Mark.

"You mean you'll be no better than he is"

"What?"

"He slept with Addison and he was the bad guy. You slept with me that makes you a bad guy too. You can't handle being that kind of guy. You can't handle being the same as Mark"

"This is completely different to him and Addison. You're not married to him for a start and you weren't even dating him when we"

"Then why do we both feel so bad?" she asked

Derek stood and looked at Roxie as he sighed. "I can't be angry at him for something that he did that I did less than twenty four hours later. I have to tell him. I'm going to tell him" she turned to walk to the door and Derek closed the door stopping her from leaving.

"No you can't" said Derek holding the door. Roxie turned around and stood between the door and Derek looking up at Derek.

"Why not?"

"We're not feeling guilty about sleeping with each other. We're feeling guilty because we both want a repeat performance"

"No you may want a repeat performance"

"Roxie…"

Roxie remembered the night before and remembered how good she felt when she was kissing Derek how it didn't feel awkward. As she looked into Derek's eyes she could see he was reminiscing too. Derek then moved in and kissed Roxie sweetly on the lips.

"We shouldn't…" started Roxie between kisses "…this is wrong…" Derek continued to kiss her sweetly his hands gently caressing her. Derek stopped and smiled at her and she looked him in the eyes "…this is not going to end well" she said as Derek smiled realising she was giving into her temptation.

A LITTLE LATER

Roxie jumped up and pulled her scrub pants up and began to tie them as Derek got to a vertical base and did the same. They continued to looked at each other as they searched for their clothes.

"Now what?" asked Roxie

"Now we go back to work" replied Derek

"No not what do I do for the rest of the day. What do we do about this?"

"About what?" asked Derek giving her the McDreamy smile

"Derek we just had sex in a store room"

"And?" he said giving the McDreamy face once again

"No, no do not give me the McDreamy face it may work on Meredith but it will not work with me. Mark is supposed to be your best friend"

"McDreamy face?" asked Derek

"Derek!"

"We've done nothing wrong. You're not with Mark and I'm not with Meredith"

"If we're not doing anything wrong then why are we hiding our dirty little sins. Me keeping out of sight at the trailer this morning and now secret sex in the store room"

"I didn't think you'd feel comfortable doing this in front of everybody" he joked trying to lighten the mood

"I'm leaving and you're going to wait so no one sees us leave this room together. This didn't happen" stated Roxie walking out of the room. Derek smiled as she left and shortly after he exited the room and saw Roxie at the nurse's station he turned and walked away.

Moments later Mark approached the Roxie. Roxie knew he was there but couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"Rox please talk to me I need to explain" he said with a wishful glare

Roxie looked up at Mark and knew she couldn't be angry at him anymore especially after what had just happened with Derek in the store room.

"Ok" she agreed as she walked away followed by Mark.

They walked into the lounge and Roxie turned to face Mark.

"I'm sorry she was just a drunken mistake. I was feeling sorry for myself because of him turning up. I know I had no reason to and its not that I don't trust you I just. I acted like a spoilt little kid. It was a mistake. Please forgive me"

Roxie shook her head looked at the floor in disgust not at Mark but at herself. Here was a guy begging for her forgiveness and only minutes ago she was in the store room with his best friend.

"I forgive you"

Mark sighed with relief and smiled and walked over to Roxie he went to hug her and she pulled away.

"Rox…"

"I forgive you but we can't do this anymore. We're not working it's one thing after another Karev, my Mom, Hahn and then Sean…I think it's the universes way of telling us we're not meant to be together"

"Roxie come on they were just mistakes"

"No Mark. I can't keep doing this. You're not a bad guy they say you are but you're not. You're a good guy and when it was good it was amazing and I know you didn't mean to hurt me and I didn't mean to hurt you but we just don't want it bad enough. If we had we wouldn't have hurt each so much"

"I forgive you for Karev, you forgive me with Hahn. What's the problem?"

Roxie fought the urge to tell him about her and Derek but she knew she couldn't she knew it would tear him apart.

"We were just sex" she lied knowing she had always wanted more "We didn't know anything about each other, only what we wanted the other to know or what we failed to hide from the other like Sean and Addison. I did want to get to know more about you but that's not the only reason I wanted to date I wanted to know if there was anything other than sex between us. There was no romance I wanted romance and I wanted to talk. You didn't want that. I'm sorry Mark but this just isn't going to work"

Roxie feeling awful walked out of the room leaving a devastated Mark behind.

ELSEWHERE IN THE HOSPITAL

Ryan was at the hospital visiting Karev and the couple were stood talking and smiling at each other when Stevens and Skye both walked in sight. They both looked at the couple and the couple looked at them.

"So I'll see you at mine after work" said Alex trying to dismiss Ryan

"Yeah but don't be late I want to get it over with because I have plans tonight" replied Ryan trying to prove to her sister that Alex was just sex

"Yeah I have plans too"

"Ok well I'll see you later" she said walking away

Skye looked at her sister as she departed and then both Skye and Steven's looked at Karev who looked back at them quickly before walking away.

"You know he's falling for her right?" said Stevens

"Yeah and it seems my sisters falling for him too"

"They're perfect for each other in my opinion both selfish, rude and whores" Stevens then realised what she'd said and tried to save herself "I mean…er…"

"It's ok Stevens you're right they're both selfish, rude and whores…a perfect match"

Chan then appeared and walked up to Skye.

"You have a case?" he asked

"Yeah follow me" she said picking up the chart and walking off she handed him the chart and he began to read it "So this wedding"

"Yeah?" he said knowing the thought of attending was driving her insane

"It's going to be your entire family?"

"Pretty much"

"What will happen when you arrive with a date?"

"They know you're coming and I've told them all about you"

"You have?" she asked a little stunned that he had told his family every detail and she hadn't even told hers she was dating

"Yes I told them your name, what you do, how we met"

"What exactly did you tell them?" she asked standing still

"I just told you"

"Yeah but specifics"

"Skye I told them the gist they don't need to know every detail and like I have already said to you babe they're not going to care about you on the day of my sisters wedding"

Chan walked away and Skye's heart began to pound thinking about the impending wedding.

"How much do you care about your families opinions?" she called after him. He slowed down allowing her to catch up.

"What do you mean?"

"Well what if they hate me?"

"Why would they hate you?"

"I make a really bad first impression"

"Ok well don't worry about it you'll have four days to show them what a wonderful person you are"

"Four days?"

"Yeah"

"I thought we were just going for the wedding" she said standing still once again

"We are it's like a wedding hoopla" he said walking away

"A hoopla…great" she said to herself

LATER

Roxie stood at the nurse's station and Derek approached her standing directly behind her and leaning over to reach a chart taking in Roxie's scent as he did so. She knew it was wrong what she and Derek were doing but she couldn't help but enjoy the attention this attractive man was giving her. She smiled and turned to look at him.

"What are you doing?" she asked

"I'm just getting our patient's chart"

"No you're flirting with me"

"I have no idea what you're talking about Dr Leoni. I'll see you in there" he said leaving her and walking into the patient's room. Roxie watched him walk away and a traumatised Skye approached the station.

"I have to spend four days with Chan's family"

"I slept with Derek" admitted Roxie trying to make her friends problem seem minute

Skye looked at Roxie dumbfounded.

"You…"

"Yep"

"What about Sloan?"

"We're not together anymore. I did nothing wrong"

"When you have to declare and defend it like that it's usually because of guilt"

"I do feel guilty because I broke up with him for doing exactly the same thing with Hahn"

"No you two were still together when he did that"

"We hadn't been broken up a day before I…" she stopped herself from saying it knowing her friend knew

"You did nothing wrong"

Roxie smiled at her friend and walked away. She walked into Sean's room where Derek was doing a neuro exam. Sean smiled as she walked in.

"Mr Leoni everything is looking fine"

"Great when can I get my shoulder fixed?"

"When I schedule you for surgery" said Skye walking into the room "I think I can get you in their today at the latest tomorrow"

"Excellent then I can go?"

"No Sean not until both Dr Shepherd and Dr McKenzie are satisfied. You need to be set up with a physio"

"I don't live here"

"Then we'll set something up back home for you. You have to have the physical therapy otherwise you'll never get back in the ring" said Skye

"Ok so surgery and a lot of rehab I get it"

"Good" said Skye

Derek and Skye left the room and Roxie looked at her husband who was staring back at her.

"The papers?" he asked

"I'll have them by tomorrow"

"Ok and then I'll sign them and we'll be rid of each other"

"Yeah…"

"I heard about you and the plastics guy. I'm sorry"

"Me too"

"My fault?" he asked

"No, his fault, then my fault. Not your fault. I'll see you later good luck in surgery"

"Thanks"

Roxie smiled and walked out of the room where she saw Mark staring at her. At that moment Hahn walked in and saw the duo staring at each other and she smiled.

"Oh this is nice" smiled Hahn

Mark shot a look at Hahn and when he turned back Roxie had gone. He then approached Hahn and got in her face.

"You're pathetic playing these little games just because you're jealous of her and her talent. With good reason she's an excellent doctor"

"I'm not jealous just reaping my revenge"

Mark walked away from Hahn shaking his head in disbelief that his life was in turmoil because she wanted to get back at Roxie for humiliating her when she first arrived.

LATER

Roxie approached Derek's trailer she knocked on the door and waited. The door soon opened and Derek appeared in a towel as he'd just emerged from the shower.

"Do you always answer the door like this?"

"Only when I'm trying to seduce my guests"

"This is your attempt at seducing?"

"Yes is it working?" he asked with a smile

"It's appealing but if you really want to seduce me you should maybe try this" she said as she pulled away his towel leaving him exposed. Roxie nodded and smiled as Derek stood boastfully in all his glory. "Much better" Derek reached behind Roxie and pulled the door closed he then backed into the bedroom with Roxie attached to his lips.

A WHILE LATER

Roxie and Derek were in the midst of a heated and passionate embrace. Roxie was gripping onto the sheets in ecstasy as Derek indulged in her beauty and passion. Suddenly they were interrupted as the door flew open and Mark became visible.

"Oh God" said Mark with a smile. Derek quickly covered up Roxie so that Mark couldn't see her. "Wow Derek I'm sorry I didn't know you were entertaining. I'll see you tomorrow" said Mark with a huge smile on his face as he caught his best friend in a compromising position.

Derek waited until the door had slammed closed and then he moved away from a mortified Roxie who immediately sat on the edge of the bed. Derek sat on one side and Roxie on the other their backs to each other.

"I can't believe that happened" said Roxie

"He didn't see you, I won't tell him"

"Derek this isn't right. It doesn't matter whether we're with them or not. Mark is your best friend"

"Yeah you're right" he said looking over at Roxie who turned to look at him

A FEW MINUTES LATER

After mutually agreeing their involvement with each other wasn't the right thing to do they had both gotten dressed and Roxie was going to leave. She opened the door to the trailer and she walked out followed by Derek. She suddenly stopped as she saw Mark sat at the table drinking a scotch from Derek's bottle of single malt. The duo looked at Mark and waited for him to react.

"You remembered to cover up the girl but you forgot about the car" said Mark looking over at the two

Roxie and Derek could feel the hatred coming from Mark and knew they had no viable excuse for what they had done.

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW**


	15. Chapter 15

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie and Derek had both been trying to speak with Mark about the night before but he had booked himself in back to back surgeries to avoid them. Roxie never one to quit waited for Mark to finish after one of his surgeries. He walked out of the scrub room and saw Roxie waiting for him. He couldn't bring himself to talk to her and just walked away she followed him and persistently she begged him to talk.

"Mark we need to talk about this" said Roxie

"No we don't" he snapped

"Mark you can't leave it like this. You can't just walk away and not say anything"

Mark defied her and carried on walking away not saying a word he walked down the stairs followed by Roxie.

"Mark how can you be so angry at me about this? You slept with Hahn at least we weren't dating when I…"

Mark reached the bottom of the stairs and turned back to Roxie.

"When you what Rox?" he said in front of everyone "No wonder you could forgive me so easily. All the talk about we couldn't be together because it was too hard and the universe was telling us so. It wasn't anything to do with the universe. You didn't want to be with me because you were too busy screwing Derek"

Suddenly Roxie could see Meredith standing out among the crowd as she looked over in disbelief. Mark looked in disgust at Roxie and walked away leaving her standing in the impalpable spotlight. Roxie quickly moved out of sight.

"McDreamy and Leoni?" asked Yang out loud wondering if she'd heard right

Meredith was still staring even though the scene was no longer there.

"Meredith are you ok?"

Meredith turned to her friends and nodded her head

"I'm fine" her friends looked at her knowing she wasn't fine "I'm fine me and Derek are no longer a couple. He's moved on I can't stop him from moving on. I'm happy for him. He and Dr Leoni make a great couple…definitely makes more sense than Derek and I. He moved on" she rambled

"Ok" said Yang knowing her friend was hiding her true feelings which would later be dealt with, with tequila

Roxie walked into the elevator before the doors could close Derek walked in. Roxie hit the door button and walked back out of the elevator.

"Roxie!" shouted Derek as she headed for the stairs

LATER

Mark was stood in an exam room with a chart and Yang his resident. The door suddenly opened and Roxie walked in followed by Karev. Roxie looked at Mark who wasn't making any eye contact with her at all unlike Yang who was staring her down.

"Mr and Mrs Graham this is Dr Leoni she's going to be taking over your case"

Roxie looked to see a woman straddling her husband on the table.

"She has much more experience with compromising positions" he said finally shooting a look at Roxie. Roxie shook her head she couldn't believe he was taking such a low blow. "Yang lets go" he ordered storming out of the room.

"Good luck" said Yang handing her the chart "Although you probably won't need it as this is your area of expertise"

Yang then walked out and Karev and Leoni looked at the couple and then at each other.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Karev and Leoni were looking at the couple bewildered as they tried to figure out how they had become stuck together.

"No foreign objects?" asked Karev

"No" said the couple simultaneously

"No piercings?" asked Roxie

"No" the couple once again replied

"No sex toys?" asked Karev

"No" exclaimed the wife disgusted at the thought

"So it's just you and your husband?" asked Roxie

"Yes" replied the wife

"What do you think?" Roxie asked Karev

"I think I should prepare O'Malley. I mean you've been through the rest of us O'Malley's next right and the poor guy will need advice to…handle you and your vivaciousness"

"Karev drop it because you're not exactly in moral standing to talk down to me like this"

"Hello people" said Chan as he walked into the room with his resident, Meredith Grey.

"Oh this should be fun" said Karev as Meredith walked in and stood to the side with Karev

Chan looked over at the couple and smiled "Hi there I'm Dr Tatum. So what exactly have we got here?"

"Mr and Mrs Graham were in the middle of sexual intercourse when they became lodge together. There are no foreign objects involved its apparently just them" said Roxie

"It's not apparently anything its fact" said Mrs Graham

"Mrs Graham you have understand our scepticism couples don't just get stuck there's usually something holding them together" explained Roxie

"Maybe she's holding him" said Chan

"You think she's got him in a bear hug…so to speak?" asked Karev

"Mrs Graham before this happened had you…" Chan tried to find the right words

"Cum?" said Karev cutting in

"Ejaculated would be a more suitable term Dr Karev" said Chan

"Err yes I did"

Her husband looked at her and could see she was lying. "You didn't have an orgasm?"

"Of course I did" she lied

"You faked it?"

"Sweetie this isn't the time to discuss this"

"No this is probably the worst time to discuss it. I'm stuck inside you and you're telling me you didn't orgasm"

"Ok so that scenarios out the window" said Chan

"Mr and Mrs Graham" said Roxie with a raised voice trying to stop the arguing couple "We need to know why you're stuck together and there is only so much x-rays can tell us so unless you help us we will be dealing with this blind. There has to be something that is responsible for this and only you two know what it is. Now I can understand the level of humiliation…"

"Probably better than anybody" sniped Karev in the background

Roxie ignored him and continued "…However you have overcome the biggest part just by coming to the hospital anything now is just information no judgement" Mr and Mrs Graham looked at each other and the doctors knew they were hiding something. "Mr and Mrs Graham…" said Roxie urging them to speak

"My husband is…" The doctors waited in anticipation "…his…" began the wife struggling to say it

"I have girth" blurted out the frustrated husband

"Girth?"

"It's mammoth" said the wife

"How much girth are we talking about?" asked Chan stepping in

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

The doctors walked out of the room and gathered outside.

"They're lying he's not that big. He can't be that big" insisted Karev

"Jealous?" asked Chan

"No" Karev said sternly

"So what do we think?" asked Chan

"They're vacuumed packed"

"What?" asked Karev

"No foreign objects nothing on the x-ray. Just her, him and his girth. They're vacuumed packed he can't get out of her because there's no flow of oxygen"

"Vacuum packed?" asked Grey "Does that really happen?"

"Can you explain it any better?" asked Chan

"So what do we do next?"

"We irrigate" said Roxie

"How will that help?" asked Karev

"The water will not only work as a lubricant but it will supply oxygen and hopefully break the vacuum. So Karev you can go do that?" said Chan

"Me?"

"Yeah you and Grey you can help" he said sending the two residents into the room. Roxie collapsed against the wall and Chan looked at her "How are you doing?"

"You heard?"

"The whole hospital has"

"He was there for me. I was feeling low and he was there and it was nice"

"You should be telling Mark this not me"

"Yeah this is exactly what Mark wants to hear. He paged me to this case and then got his jab in saying I would know more about this…because the man whore that is Mark Sloan has been deceived by his best friend and ex girlfriend so that makes him immaculate now a God damn angel. You know I wouldn't mind the whispering and the glares if they were getting them too. I sleep with Karev before I ever even went on a date with Mark and Karev's the hero I'm the whore. Mark sleeps with Hahn and they all talk behind my back because of Sean turning up. Derek and I sleep together and all the hates directed at me and Derek is the poor little brain surgeon who loves poor little Meredith whatever the scenario I'm the bitch"

"That's not fair but…you do have Alex Karev in that room right now irrigating the patients and there's a lot more torture you could bestow. I know it doesn't stop you from hurting but it will make your day a little brighter" said Chan with a smile

"You know she's terrified" said Roxie now discussing Skye

"Yeah I know and I'm trying to calm her down the best I can. The thing is I want them to meet her"

"You're really that far along?"

"I don't know but I do know I want to take things further but first I need her to meet my family"

Roxie smiled that her friends relationship was progressing it gave her hope that she may eventually get it right too. Roxie's pager went off and she checked it.

"I have to go I've got a trauma downstairs" she said clipping her pager back on and walking away

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Roxie walked into the manic room where she saw Derek tending to bleeds on the face and skull. Roxie immediately took notice of the severity of the injuries before her. She saw the female victim had been stabbed in the abdomen, slashed on both the face and legs. Open head trauma was apparent.

"I need help over here" with all other able hands busy Roxie ran over to Derek to help him with the excessive blood loss.

The door opened and Mark walked in the whole room felt the tension as he saw Derek and Roxie stood side by side at the head of the bed.

"What do we have?" asked Mark ignoring them both

"Female rape victim, she has multiple stab wounds to the abdomen, slashes on right thigh looks to be severe muscle damage. Open head trauma and she has facial slashes"

Mark walked up to the head of the bed where Derek and Roxie were trying to stop the excessive bleeding. Mark moved Roxie's hand out of the way so he could look at the lacerations on her face. He then applied pressure himself.

"Get some more hands in here"

Derek looked at Mark and then at Roxie.

"Attend to the abdomen" said Derek

As Roxie moved away to look at the abdomen the door opened and Bailey along with the chief walked in.

"Oh my God" said Bailey looking at the sheer chaos of everything

"What do we have people?" asked the chief

"I have deep facial lacerations, division of the buccal nerve branch, considerable muscle damage" informed Mark

"Derek?" asked the chief

"From sight I'm looking at a depressed skull fracture I can't tell you anymore without an MRI and ICP"

"Ok and Roxie?"

"Multiple stab wounds. Inflammation of the peritoneum I need to do an ex-lap she's need the OR now"

"No not until we know the severity of her head injury. I'm not comfortable sending her into the OR"

"I'm not comfortable leaving her here she has fourteen stab wounds that I can see and God knows what damage there is inside"

"It won't matter because if you take her into surgery before the MRI and ICP she'll be brain dead"

"Oh…lovers tiff how sweet" smiled Mark

Roxie shook her head as Mark used this time to take a shot at her and Derek.

"She needs the MRI"

"She needs the OR"

"Is this a turn on?" said Mark getting everyone's attention while taking a shot at the duo "You shout at each other in the hospital then you go back to his trailer and make up"

"What's going on?" asked the chief oblivious

"Mark just shut up. There is a girl laid here waiting for our help and all you can do is get cheap shots in at me and Derek"

"Cheap shots for a cheap whore" snarled Mark sick of being humiliated by Roxie

"Mark there's no need for this" said Derek trying to calm the situation

"Shut up! You're as bad she is"

"What and you're running around here with rosary beads and a habit? I don't think so. You're insecure Mark you got jealous of a guy who I dumped four years ago threw your toys out of the pram, slept with Hahn to make yourself feel better and you're wondering why I slept with Derek?"

"She slept with Derek?" the chief asked Bailey who shot him a look to sort the situation

"Oh so this is all my fault now? You drop your pants and crawl into bed with my former best friend and I'm to blame?"

"Alright!" shouted the chief getting the attention of the room "Lets get this patient for an MRI, send two interns to monitor her at all times. Page all staff and prepare the OR. Shepherd, Sloan and Leoni my office now"

MOMENTS LATER

Derek, Mark and Roxie walked into the chief office like three school kids entering the principles office.

"I don't want to know about your sordid lives. I don't want to know about your personal problems. What I do want to know is can you co-exist long enough to take this girl into surgery and save her life?"

Mark, Derek and Roxie stood silent all three knowing there was friction and not knowing whether the others could keep it together. Derek spoke first.

"I can co-exist with them"

"That's big of you. You sleep with my girl and you can co-exist with us?"

"I'm not your girl"

"Not anymore"

"Quiet" shouted the chief

"Sloan?"

Mark looked at Derek and at Roxie and shook his head "As long as they don't speak to me I should be fine"

"Roxie?"

"Keep his mouth shut and I'll be fine" she said speaking of Mark

"I want no arguments in my OR. Now get out and get ready"

A WHILE LATER

Roxie was stood eating an apple as she waited for the patient. She stood at the nurse's station with Bailey waiting for the page to say they were ready for the surgery.

"Ill feelings will be left at the door?" asked Bailey

"Yep" replied Roxie

"And you can do that?"

"Yep"

"No you can't you're hot headed and proud. You have been since the day you walked in here and humiliated our head of cardiothoracic. You slept with Karev then put him on SCUT. Your husband arrives of which Mark didn't know about and like any guy he feels intimidated and like a fool he cheats on you and sleeps with Erica Hahn who probably only slept with him to get payback. You scold him for his betrayal which yeah he deserved then whether drunk or sober subconsciously you slept with his best friend to get some redemption"

"It wasn't about redemption it was about scotch and tequila"

"Oh you slept with Derek Shepherd because of scotch and tequila?"

"Yeah"

"And what about the morning after when you both disappeared into the store room? What about him sniffing your neck at the nurse's station?" Roxie shook her head as she realised Bailey knew all along "Yeah you thought you hadn't been seen that you were under the radar but you weren't and you were not under the influence either. Don't tell me it was about scotch and tequila because you two slept together because of Sloan and Grey. He wanted to get over his failed relationship and you, you just wanted to score points on Mark"

"I don't know what this has to do with you…"

"It has a lot to do with me. When my residents see my bosses running into a store room, smelling each other at the nurse's station, shouting and screaming at a patients bedside in the middle of a trauma they feel they can follow by example and when they screw up…I'm the one the chief looks to for an explanation. You're irresponsible behaviour is making my working day a nightmare. So it has a lot to do with me. Now we're going to go into this OR and you are going to be the beacon of professionalism. You are going to operate on the patient and you are going to ignore anything Mark Sloan may say. You are going to fight your urges to respond both verbally and physically. You are going to lead a good example for my residents. Do you understand?"

Roxie looked at Bailey and couldn't believe this forcefulness was coming from such a small stature.

"You realise I'm your boss right?" Bailey then placed her hands on her hips and her anger on her face. Roxie knew she must obey the Nazi "Fine beacon of professionalism" mocked Roxie

LATER IN THE OR

The surgeons all worked on their respective areas and Dr McKenzie was brought in to work on the thigh slashes where apparent muscle damage was noted. Only speaking to whom they needed to the OR was uncharacteristically quiet which unnerved the chief who was stood in the gallery he decided to go into the OR.

"What has everybody got?" he asked trying to bring life back to the room "Derek?"

"Still a depressed skull fracture chief" responded Derek

"And how are you dealing with it?"

"Removing the fragments, very minimal tissue damage if there are no underlying problems she should be fine"

"Great and Mark?"

"I've repaired the buccal nerve branch now I am checking the muscles surrounding the injuries for tears"

"Excellent and Roxie?"

"Ex-lap shows pancreatic distal transection, no duct injury, no tissue loss. I'll proceed with a distal pancreatectomy and splenectomy"

"What about the bowel?"

"Intact"

"The liver?"

"Grade l non bleeding capsular tears I'll pack and wrap. She's lucky she's got any insides left this guy didn't know what he was doing?"

"What do you mean he didn't know what he was doing?" asked Bailey

"This is rampant stabbing, he attacked the whole abdomen in hopes that he would do some harm he didn't know where to hit"

"You can tell this by looking at her?" asked Derek

"She struggled the bruises on her wrists, throat, thigh and arms prove he tried to restrain her she was scared she fought through it and he had to take drastic actions that's why he stabbed her, why she has a head trauma"

"And the job he did on her face?" asked Mark

Roxie looked at Mark and answered him "A calling card?"

"A calling card?" asked the chief

"I'm not a cop I can't tell you what happened. What this guy thinks like. I'm just looking at the injuries and putting things together"

"Ok people we need to work on this patient and get her in recovery she needs to come out of this so the police can catch this guy before he strikes again"

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW


	16. Chapter 16

LATER IN THE OR

As the doctors worked to save the patient the door opened and Chan appeared.

"Dr Leoni"

"Dr Tatum"

"The Grahams irrigation didn't work"

"Oh is this the couple who got stuck together whilst having sex?" asked Yang

Roxie looked at Yang and then over at Chan "They're still stuck together?"

"Yep any ideas?" he asked

"Anybody?" Roxie asked the room

The room went quiet and Roxie looked over at Chan.

"Alright research it is" Chan then left the room

"They're just stuck together?" asked Yang

"Yep just stuck together"

"Dr Yang would you like to be on the Grahams case?" asked Derek

"No"

"Then maybe you should show some interest in this case"

Skye finished on the thigh and walked to the head of the table.

"Dr Sloan do you need any help with the muscles?"

"No I'm good almost done here actually"

"Ok in that case I'm out of here" said Skye walking out

"Doctor Bailey do you think you can take over?" asked Roxie

"Excuse me?"

"I need to get the Grahams apart before they become a side show. I'm sure O'Malley wouldn't mind stepping in here and helping"

"No of course" said O'Malley stepping forward

"Ok" said Bailey agreeing

Roxie handed over and walked out of the OR and scrubbed out.

LATER

Roxie and Chan were stood staring at the Grahams alongside Grey and Karev who weren't happy about missing the surgeries.

"We're stood in here trying to pull these two apart and we're missing out on all these surgeries it's not fair and this is punishment for me at least" said Karev

"I don't mind missing the surgeries they'll always be more surgeries when can you say that about this situation"

Karev looked on and realised that she was right. He then followed Meredith's eyes and saw she was looking at Roxie.

"How can you be in the same room with her and not smack her?"

"She did nothing wrong" replied Meredith

"She slept with Shepherd"

"Yep"

"Shepherd!"

"My ex boyfriend Derek Shepherd. We weren't dating neither one of them did anything wrong"

"Then why is Sloan so bitter?"

"He doesn't know how to deal with it"

"And you do?"

"Yes by not reacting to it"

"By bottling it up"

"Not bottling…just not reacting"

"Yeah ok" said Karev smiling and walking over to Chan and Roxie

"Any ideas?" asked Karev

"We need to break the seal"

"What?" asked Karev

"The only way we can do this is by pulling them apart and breaking the vacuum"

"Will that work?" asked Meredith

"All we can do is try" said Chan "Mr and Mrs Graham we are going to have to be forceful here and simply pull you apart"

"What you're just going to pull us apart? Don't you think if that were possible we'd have done it already?" snapped Mr Graham

"That's why Dr Tatum said we have to be forceful. We're going to have to

get some more people in order to help us pull you apart because we need to break the vacuum this isn't going to be easy. You're going to be extremely sore afterwards but this is the only way now"

The couple looked at each other and then back at the doctors.

"Fine do it" said Mrs Graham

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

As residents and interns gripped onto both Mr and Mrs Graham they waited for orders from Chan and Roxie.

"Ok so we have to pull Mrs Graham off her husband vertically we can't risk causing any unnecessary trauma" said Chan

"And it's important that we keep Mr Graham completely restrained he cannot move an inch otherwise this isn't going to work and its going to end up hurting him"

"Are we all clear?"

The residents and interns all said yes and they waited for their orders.

"Ok lets go Mr Grahams team hold him down and now Mrs Grahams team…pull" said Chan giving the orders

Chan and Roxie stood and watched as they struggled and encouraged them finally Mr and Mrs Graham parted and Mrs Graham fell to the floor along with her team. Mrs Graham landed on top of Meredith and quickly moved off of her. Her interns helped Mrs Graham to a stretcher where she recuperated and O'Malley helped Meredith to her feet.

"Wow it worked" said Roxie shocked just then Roxie's pager went off and she excused herself from the room

A FEW MINUTES LATER

Roxie arrived at the nurse's station where she'd been paged and found out it was a mistake and she wasn't needed she then saw Mark walking down the corridor.

"Mark how is she?" Mark ignored her and walked into the lounge where he got himself a drink

Roxie stormed into the room and confronted Mark.

"I asked how the patient was I wasn't asking you to talk to me this is doctor to doctor"

"Why don't you go an ask your boyfriend he's still in there playing God"

Mark then sat down and threw his head back exhausted from the day and the surgery.

"Mark I slept with Derek and I can't take that back but I only slept with him to get over you. Like an idiot I went and fell for you when Skye was telling me not to because you were a man whore I was falling for you"

"Guess you should have listened to Skye"

"You don't get it do you? You slept with Hahn for the same reasons. You thought you were losing me to Sean and you slept with her to prove something…that you didn't care for me…that you were over me whatever you did it for the same reason I did"

"Difference is I didn't do it sober. She was a drunken mistake. You and Derek you knew what you were doing and you did it anyway"

Roxie felt awful as she realised he was right. Initially it was a drunken fumble but nothing was to blame when they repeated their deception in the store room and at Derek's trailer for the second time other than them themselves.

"Mark I'm sorry just tell me what I have to do to make this right"

"There isn't anything you can do"

"So you're just never going to forgive us?"

"No Derek I can forgive. I slept with Addison, he slept with you…now we're even. You I can't forgive"

"You cheated on me…" she said in disbelief that after him sleeping with Hahn she came off the bad guy

"Derek's my best friend"

"And he slept with me?"

"I slept with his wife. The good guy that he is subconsciously he wanted to get back at me and he did. I can't stay angry at him for doing the same to me as I did to him"

Roxie couldn't believe what she was hearing she shook her head in disbelief at Mark.

"Do you realise that all this is happening because you were jealous of Sean? Jealous of something that wasn't even there"

"Maybe…but you just don't get that it's not a matter of who did what to whom it's the fact you slept with Derek. He's like my brother…in fact he is my brother"

"So Addison sleeps with you and hurts 'your brother' and her you get along with?"

"It's different"

"No it's not this isn't even about me and Derek. This is about me and you…us…you're Mark Sloan…Man whore. The thought of you being an 'us' or a 'we' terrifies you. Yes what I did was wrong but this isn't about me at all this is about you running for the hills because you're falling in love with me. You thought you loved Addison but this with me is something completely different and you're realising that this is what love is"

"You think a lot of yourself don't you?"

"Tell me I'm wrong?"

Mark looked at Roxie and without saying a word he walked out of the room leaving a frustrated Roxie behind.

LATER

The elevator door opened and Derek looked at Mark who was stood alone in the elevator he walked in and waited for the doors to close he then stood silent for a moment before breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"She loves you" said Derek breaking the silence "God knows why. She knows you, she knows how you treat women. She's seen you at your worst and she still loves you"

"When did she tell you this? While you were in bed? Or after one of your sordid meetings?"

"Mark you do not get a moral high ground with me" stated Derek as he referred to his friend's betrayal "Me and Roxie were only with each other because the people we want to be with are screwing us around. Meredith with her boundaries and limits. You with your jealousy and infidelity. She has no reason to be here. She could have packed her bags and left the minute she found out about you and Hahn but she didn't she got herself drunk and she found comfort in the nearest guy who just happened to be your heartbroken best friend who was also looking for comfort. I slept with Roxie but it doesn't mean I don't love Meredith and it doesn't mean that Roxie doesn't love you it just means she was hurting and when we were…" he hesitated in being specific "…it was just easy. We knew it wasn't going to become anything it was just fun and simple. We shouldn't have done it to you or Meredith but we weren't unprovoked we did what we did because we were pushed into it"

"How does this always end up being my fault?" asked Mark

"She slept with Karev you weren't together she did nothing wrong yet she begged for your forgiveness. Her husband turns up she'd not seen him in four years and had no romantic or sexual feelings for him but just in case she did and just in case she did a repeat of Karev you got there first and you hurt her. Then me and her happened and instead of you begging for forgiveness for what you and Hahn did she is once again begging you for forgiveness. Tell me how is that fair?" Mark stood silent as he couldn't find a viable reason for his behaviour "Don't make the same mistakes me and Meredith have. She is willing to give you everything and you want it…you're scared but you know you want it. Just let it go both of you. Clean slate and go for it"

The doors opened to the elevator and Derek left leaving a thoughtful Mark behind wondering if Derek was right.

LATER THAT NIGHT

Roxie was in her apartment watching bad TV as she struggled to settle in for the night as her head was spiralling with thoughts of her and Mark. She was disrupted as a knocking came at her door she stood up turned off the TV and made her way over to answer the door. She opened the door and was stunned to see Mark stood before her. They stared at each other for a lingering moment and without a word said Mark stepped forward and locked into a passionate kiss with Roxie. Stunned for a moment Roxie struggled to understand what was happening but soon she didn't care as the kiss enveloped her and she reciprocated gripping at his coat and pulling him in closer. Mark backed Roxie into the apartment and closed the door behind him. He then effortlessly lifted Roxie and carried her into the bedroom without breaking the kiss once.

THE NEXT MORNING

Roxie woke from her slumber aided by her alarm she shut off the alarm and smiled as she felt his presence behind her. She turned onto her back and looked at him smiling. Mark laid there fully dressed in the clothes he'd arrived in as did Roxie after the couple decided to spend the night together without any sex involved. They had decided they were going to start dating…getting to know each other and not rushing things as they previously had. Mark opened his eyes and smiled as he realised he was being watched by Roxie.

"Morning" he slurred in a groggy state

"Hey" she smiled

He then kissed her lethargically and as the kiss lingered he suddenly became energized and laid on top of her his hand caressing her and moving up under her clothes against her soft skin. Although she was enjoying the kiss she knew she had to push him away and with a fight she managed to stop him from taking his actions any further.

"We said we weren't going to do this" she reminded him

"It's what we do best" he argued continuing to assault her with kisses

"Mark stop it you said we were dating. You said you wanted to date" she said giggling as she indulged in the attention

"I do but that doesn't mean we can't have sex"

"No that's exactly what it means. Pretend we've never met each other and we don't know that the other is a slut. Just a fresh…one day at a time…with appropriate behaviour for each date"

Mark stopped kissing her and gave her a confused expression "Appropriate behaviour?"

"Yeah first date a hand shake, second a kiss goodnight, third a little over the sweater action, fourth a little under the sweater action…"

"When do we get to the no sweater action?" he asked devilishly

"The sixth date…lets just have six dates"

"Over what period of time?"

"That depends on us"

"What classifies as a date?"

"Nothing in the hospital…lunch in the cafeteria is not a date"

"Drinks at Joes?"

"Only counts if formally invited for drinks at Joes"

"So I have to ask you out to dinner, movies…"

"You say it like it's a chore"

"I just want the no sweater action" he admitted with a devilish grin

"I'll make it seven dates if you carry on"

"You're not that much of a lady" said Mark getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom. Roxie gasped with amused astonishment and threw a pillow at Mark as he walked away. Roxie then smiled as she realised her and Mark were back to normal or as normal as could be for the two of them.

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW


	17. Chapter 17

LATER

Meredith and her friends were sat talking about her uncomfortable day with Roxie. Meredith continued to tell her friends about Roxie's attempt to explain and move on.

"Then I left" finished Meredith

"She actually tried to fix you and McDreamy?" asked Cristina

"Yeah"

"Like she was your friend?"

"I shouldn't have snapped at her"

"Why not? I would have smacked her" exclaimed Cristina

"No you wouldn't" argued Karev "You're too busy kissing her ass. You know she's you way back into cardio so just stop pretending that you hate her"

"I do hate her even more so than Meredith"

"I don't hate her" said Meredith

"How can you not hate her?" asked Cristina

"They did nothing wrong. I just didn't want to hear about it"

"Well I hate her she's a McBitch" snarled Cristina

Meredith smiled at her friend "I have to go back to Dr McBitch now so I'll see you all later" with that Meredith walked away

Karev looked at Yang "What?" snapped Cristina

"She has another cardio case on the board for tomorrow" Karev informed her

"So?"

Karev smiled and walked away soon after Cristina got up and rushed to find Roxie's cardio case.

ELSEWHERE

Roxie approached the table to find a miserable and worried Skye sat there staring into space she sat down beside her and broke the silence getting her friends attention.

"You're beating yourself up over nothing you are an amazing person, smart, funny, kind and beautiful there is no way they can pick fault with you if anything they'll hate you for being perfect"

"I'm not insecure Rox I know who I am and I'm happy with who I am its just I…I make the worst first impression ever"

"Yeah because you're nervous like this you're so worried about what they might think that you can't concentrate which can lead to humiliation"

"You're not kidding. My last boyfriend dumped me less than two weeks after meeting his parents and we were pretty serious"

"And you think its because you met his parents and they didn't approve?"

"That's exactly what it was it was so unbelievably awful"

"Skye come on"

"Well after thinking his mother was his grandmother and completely insulting her I then proceeded to humiliate myself and them when I walked in on his mom and dad…" Skye stopped herself hoping her friend would get the gist.

"Oh my God really? Well how does that make them hate you?"

"It just got worse from that point on it was horrific"

"So that one experience is going to make you paranoid about every social opportunity? Skye you approached me and took me out on the town and now I consider you my best friend out here. You don't make a bad first impression trust me"

Skye's pager went off she checked it and looked at her friend "I know you mean well but its not going to change anything but thanks anyway" she said standing up and walking away

Mark passed Skye as he made his way to the table where he sat down catching Roxie's attention.

"Hi" she said with a smile

"Hey" he said leaning in to kiss her but she pulled away

"That won't be happening"

"Oh come on" smiled Mark thinking she couldn't be serious

"No you said you wanted to date and that's what we're doing. I want to roleplay…"

Mark raised his eyebrow and a grin appeared on his face

"No not like that I want us to pretend that we've never met. I want to date like a proper couple which includes no insinuations, no feeling me up and no innuendos"

"Wow this dating thing sounds like fun" Mark said sarcastically

"Just give it a try"

"Ok so I pretend I don't know you and what about at work? Do we roleplay at work?"

"You're not taking this seriously"

"Sorry" he said kissing her

"No kissing" she said fighting through the kiss and finally giggling and relenting

Across the room the residents sat staring in the gleeful couple's direction.

"How can he forgive her so easily?" asked Yang

"Because he's an idiot" replied Karev as he shovelled food into his mouth

"I can't believe he's that desperate I mean we haven't forgiven McDreamy" said Yang gesturing to Meredith

"I'm not angry with Derek he didn't do anything wrong" stated Meredith

"Oh will you drop this loving, forgiving act it's making me physically sick" said Yang

Sloan and Leoni walked past the residents as they left the cafeteria followed by disapproving glares.

LATER

Mark approached Derek who was stood outside a patient's room reading their chart. Derek felt Marks presence and turned to see him stood obviously with something to say. Derek closed the chart and turned to Mark who stood silent.

"I can't believe I'm talking to you about this" Mark stated finally giving into his better judgment. "If I had someone else to speak to about this make no doubt about it I would be speaking to them"

"I'm a bad friend I know, I get it. So what's bothering you?"

Mark stood silent for a moment unsure whether he should speak with Derek about Roxie.

"I…" Mark hesitated "I don't know what to do" Derek smiled at his friend "Don't smile at me like that"

"I'm sorry I just find it humorous that ladies man Mark Sloan is asking for advice"

"Derek I haven't dated since I was in high school. I…I don't know how to date…" he embarrassingly admitted

Derek began to laugh at his friend's admission. Mark got frustrated at Derek continued to laugh and he began to walk away.

"Mark, Mark come back" said Derek trying to compose himself. "She's you but with a better body"

"What?" asked a confused Mark

"She's the female equivalent of you. Whatever you decide to do whether drinks at Joe's, a fancy meal or skydiving she'll be happy. The one thing I do advise though is talking, not flirting, talking…just share something with her let her know that you're trying"

"Just talk?" he said to himself nodding in agreement with his friend

ELSEWHERE

Ryan walked out of the elevator and walked around the corner. She stopped in her tracks as she spotted Karev taking a woman's number. She watched Karev smiling as the woman walked away and he stared at the number. Ryan then walked towards him and as he noticed her he put the number in his pocket.

"Hey" he said greeting

"Hi" she replied

"So did you come here for any reason in particular?" asked Karev moving in closer to Ryan who didn't want to show him that seeing him with the woman had bothered her even though it had.

"I actually came to see Skye"

"Well I think she's busy but I could think of something to pass the time" he said taking hold of her hands

Ryan smiled "Some other time I'm busy"

"You're never busy" said Karev curious as to why she was pulling away

"I have errands to do. I'm pushing my luck with Skye that's why I'm here to get my next orders. Doesn't matter though I'll call her a little while later"

"Ok" said Karev knowing she was brushing him off

Ryan kissed Karev on the cheek and walked away leaving Karev watching. Karev took the womans phone number out of his pocket and looked at it. He then looked in the direction Ryan had gone. He then screwed the phone number up in his hand and threw it away. Karev turned to walk away and turned to find Izzie watching him.

"What?" snarled Karev

"Nothing" Izzie replied instantly

Karev stormed off and Izzie retrieved the paper Karev had disposed of and opened it up to see it was a phone number.

LATER

An exhausted Skye arrived home and walked in to her house surprised to see Ryan sat watching TV.

"You're home?" she asked

"Looks like it" snarled Ryan

"Why aren't you with Karev?"

"It's just a fling we don't have to be in each others pockets you know"

"Ok" replied Skye feeling the anger seething through her sister she sat down beside Ryan in silence watching her sister who was dressed down in sweats flicking through bad TV. "You really like him don't you?"

Ryan looked at her sister and she knew that Skye was the one person she couldn't lie to.

"I don't know what to do. I don't get serious with guys but Alex…he gets me. He doesn't want me to be a different person he accepts me for who I am and he makes me feel special…not dirty like the others"

"Why did you come here?"

"You want to hear it don't you? You want to hear that I messed up again?"

"You don't come and see me unless you have. All I want to know is what you did?"

"I slept with a married man. I slept with a married man and when he backed out and tried to leave me I blackmailed him. I told him I would tell his wife everything and blow his life apart if he didn't support me. I was disgusting, I even disgusted myself. I even came close to telling her"

"So why are you here what went wrong?"

"He got himself some goons they trashed my apartment to scare me…I was alone Skye I didn't know what he was capable of. I left before anything bad happened"

Ryan looked at Skye and could see the judgment in her eyes.

"So what about Karev?"

"What about him? He isn't exactly the monogamist type is he? Neither am I"

"That makes three of us"

"What things with you and the hot doc aren't going so well?"

"Too well actually. He wants me to meet his family, at his sisters wedding"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Don't you remember Tony?"

"Skye you like this guy right?"

"Yeah…"

"Then stop worrying about all the bad things that could happen and start envisioning all the good things that will happen"

Skye smiled at her sister it was the first time she had ever seen her sister be serious about anything in her entire life.

"Maybe you should take your own advice"

"I don't want to ruin what Alex and I have"

"Maybe he wants the same as you"

"I don't think so. Alex Karev loves one person only and only has one thing on his mind"

AT THE GREY HOUSE

Karev was stood in the kitchen making a sandwich when Izzie walked in.

"Hi" she said. Karev looked up but didn't reply to Izzie's greeting "She saw you, getting that woman's number. That's why she was dismissive with you"

"Yeah well she needs to know where she stands; we're not in a relationship"

"Is that why you threw the number in the trash?"

"She wasn't my type"

"She was female that's your type. You threw the number away because she wasn't Ryan. You love Ryan and for some strange reason that I don't understand she loves you too. It's obvious to everybody accept you two"

Izzie then took half of Karev's sandwich and walked away leaving Karev wondering if what she'd said was true.

A FEW DAYS LATER

The taxi pulled up and Chan smiled over at a nervous Skye.

"Hey don't worry about this. They're going to love you"

Chan paid the taxi driver and stepped out of the car and helped Skye out. The door opened and Chan's family greeted him.

"Guys I'd like you to meet Skye" he said putting his hand on the small of her back and pushing her forward to meet his family.

Chan's family greeted Skye making her feel welcome and calming her nerves.

BACK IN SEATTLE

Mark stood with Derek at the reception desk waiting for Roxie to arrive.

"So what are your plans?" asked Derek

"I…haven't thought that far ahead"

"You haven't planned anything"

"I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to make reservations in case she didn't want to eat. I didn't want to suggests drinks at Joes in case she thought I was looking for the easy answer"

"So you want her to make the decisions because you couldn't be bothered?"

"This is going to cost me isn't it?" asked Mark already knowing the answer

"If I were you I would think fast" said Derek indicating Roxie's arrival

Mark looked up the stairs and smiled as Roxie appeared.

"You look beautiful"

"Thank you, you very handsome"

"Yeah I know"

"Conceited nice start"

"I can get away because I'm hot"

Roxie smiled "So do you have planned?"

"It's a surprise"

"To who?" whispered Derek who laughed as he watched the couple walk away

LATER

Karev approached the door of Skye's house. He rang the doorbell and waited patiently for an answer. As the door opened Karev wondered what he was going to say but as soon as Ryan appeared all the words fell into place.

"Hi" said Karev

"Hey" she replied

"I need to talk to you"

Ryan stepped aside and Karev walked in he walked over to the couch and turned back to see Ryan closing the door.

"I didn't call her. The number you saw me getting. Everyone was getting on my case saying I was falling for you and I tried to convince myself I wasn't so I flirted with her and she gave me her number. I threw it away the second you left. Truth is, I am falling for you. I was too scared to admit because this isn't me and I couldn't handle admitting it then having you hit the bricks"

"So what's changed?"

"I can't stand the fact that you think I called that woman. I want you to know I didn't and I want you to know why"

"Skye's been hassling me too. She told me you were falling for me and she told me to get over myself"

"So we both like each other"

"I guess so"

"Now what?"

"I don't want you with any other women, the thought of it just turns my stomach"

"Ok so we're going to be exclusive?"

"Yeah we are, and Alex if you hurt me I will rip your junk off"

Karev smiled as the Ryan he'd fallen for was back. He walked over to her and kissed her passionately on the lips before picking her up in his arms effortlessly and carrying her upstairs.

ELSEWHERE

Roxie sat in the car as Mark stood out in the pouring ran talking on his phone. She watched as he ran back over to the car and climbed back in. His clothes were dripping wet and so was he.

"You didn't plan anything did you?" she asked knowing she was right

"I didn't know what you liked. I asked Derek and he just you'd like anything and all I had to do was talk to you"

"He was right. Babe I don't care whether we're sat in a restaurant or at Joes bar. We agreed to date to get to know each other as long as we accomplish it doesn't matter where we do it"

"You couldn't have told me this sooner?" Roxie giggled and kissed Mark "I thought there would be no kissing?"

"I felt you needed it"

"Just a kiss?" he asked sarcastically

"Just a kiss"

Mark smiled "So what now?"

"You, me and pizza"

"Pizza?"

"Pizza"

"I can stretch to that" he joked starting up the car and pulling away

BACK AT THE WEDDING HOOPLA

Skye walked into the bedroom where she found Chan walking out the bathroom in just a towel. Chan spotted her and smiled as she walked over to him.

"Hey"

"Hey" she replied kissing him

"They love you" he stated

"You can't blame them" she said caressing his chest

"Are you trying to seduce me?" he asked with a devilish grin on his face

"I don't usually have to try"

"This is my parents house"

"I know, doesn't that turn you on a little bit?" she said pulling off her shirt and then slipping out of her jeans.

As she stood in front of him wearing just her underwear she pulled his towel away and he picked her up walking her over to the bed. The couple began to kiss and soon Chan's hands began to explore her body caressing and cupping her breasts. Suddenly the door opened and Skye jumped off the bed took shelter behind the bed as Chan covered himself up.

"I…we…" said his mother dumbfounded "Dinner will be ready in ten minutes" she said before walking out of the room

"Oh my God" said Skye "See I told you. I don't make good first impressions. She's going to hate me now"

"I don't think she was under any illusion about our sexual relationship"

"No but I'm guessing she didn't think we were going to christen her sheets either"

"Technically we haven't" he said to himself

"I can't go down there and have dinner with them"

"She's not going to have told people. If you don't go down they're going to wonder why"

"You don't think she'll tell them?"

"No I don't think my Mom will be declaring this to the family"

Skye sighed and watched as Chan began to get ready dreading what she was going to have to deal with from this point on.

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW


	18. Chapter 18

Chan approached Skye and kissed her softly on the lips assuring her everything was ok.

"See I told you nothing to worry about"

"Chan!" called Chan's brother he walked away leaving Skye stood in the corner.

Just then she overheard her name and she moved a little closer to the kitchen door where all the females had congregated after dinner.

"She seems nice, a little nervous but meeting the family is a big thing" said Chan's sister

"It's a huge step as well he must be serious about this girl" said another female relative

"No!" stated Chan's mother "He's not serious about her, she's not the girl for him, she's just a play thing for him"

"I don't know Mom how many of Chan's girlfriends have you met?"

"He's brought her here for my approval and that girl will never get my approval"

Skye stood sombre as she listened to the conversation behind the door knowing she would never get his mother approval she turned to walk away fighting back the tears she barged through the room full of Chan's family.

"Skye?" shouted a concerned Chan as Skye pushed passed. Chan ran after her calling after her the entire way finally catching her and turning her to face him. "Babe what's wrong?"

"If you're looking for your Moms approval you're not going to get it. She hates me!"

"She doesn't hate you"

"I just heard her talking to your family in the kitchen about me. I'm going home at least when I'm hated there it's by my own family"

"Skye…" said Chan watching her walk away "Skyler!" Skye stopped and turned back to Chan "I'm not here seeking approval from anyone. I brought you here to show you off"

"Yeah well apparently they're not as impressed with me as you are. I'm sorry Chan I can't stay here and be civil with a bunch of people who won't give me a chance"

"No…you're not going"

"I'm not staying here"

"Yes you are" he stated taking hold of her hand and dragging her back into the house. He quietened the room getting everyone's attention and getting the females out of the kitchen. The room stood silent waiting for Chan to speak. "You all have you own opinions of Skye some good, some bad but I don't care what anyone here thinks about her because all that matters is that I love her"

Skye looked at Chan with astonishment as he declared his feelings for her. Chan turned to Skye with a smile on his face he took her hands and looked into her eyes.

"I love you" said Chan repeating his declaration

Skye suddenly realised that she loved him too and that she'd wanted this to happen without even knowing it. Skye smiled at Chan "I love you too" she then kissed Chan sweetly as his family watched on.

BACK IN SEATTLE

Roxie was in the elevator making her way to the surgical floor the door opened and Meredith stood before her. The women looked at each other and Meredith with her head down walked into the elevator and stood behind Roxie. The tension was palpable even though Meredith had sworn to her friends that she held no ill feelings towards Roxie. The elevator stopped once more and the doors opened to show Derek the already tense situation intensified as Derek apprehensively entered the elevator and stood side by side with Roxie as Meredith watched them both. Roxie could see that neither Meredith nor Derek were going to be the adult so she decided to take it upon herself to fix the rift between them, she hit the emergency stop button and turned to face them both.

"This is ridiculous if Mark and I can resolve our problems then you two can"

"You don't know anything about our problems"

"Actually…" started Derek

Meredith shot a look at Derek "You told her?"

"Meredith what happened between myself and Derek it was just two hurt people looking for comfort, we found that in each other. It didn't mean anything"

"I don't care that you two slept together" stated Meredith

"Then why are you so angry?" asked Roxie

"I'm just finding out that Derek is telling everyone and anyone about our relationship"

"And you haven't spoken to Cristina at all about us?" asked Derek

"That's different she's my best friend, Mark is your best friend not her"

"Meredith this isn't about Roxie so stop trying to make out that it is because the truth is this is about you. It's always about you" Meredith stood stunned as Derek belittled her "I try to move our relationship to the next step and instead of being happy about this you find a way to sabotage it"

"Sabotage?"

"Yes sabotage, I haven't done anything to deserve this. You're just so scared of getting hurt that you won't take a risk. The truly bewildering thing is that you have no problem committing to your friends who have done nothing but hurt each other, I've never intentionally hurt you, yet it's me you don't trust"

Derek stepped to one side and started the elevator once again as it reached the next floor the doors opened and Roxie left, she watched as the doors closed and she looked at the floor dial and saw it had stopped moving. She could only hope that Derek and Meredith were talking through their problems.

LATER THAT SAME DAY

Roxie stood waiting patiently to be joined by Mark in anticipation of their fourth date the elevator doors opened and Mark walked out and towards Roxie with a huge smile on his face. He was followed out of the elevator by Derek and Meredith who walked hand in hand straight past Mark and Roxie, suddenly Meredith stopped and walked back over to Roxie as both Derek and Mark looked on a little concerned. Meredith stood tall with a firm expression in front of Roxie as her friends arrived on the scene.

"Oh this is the moment" said Cristina to the group

"Thank you" said Meredith to Roxie shocking everyone who was watching including Roxie herself.

"You're welcome" she replied

Meredith gave a half smile and walked away.

"Thank you? What are you thanking her for?" asked Cristina as she along with the other residents walked by leaving Roxie stood with a confused Mark.

"What is she thanking you for?" he asked

"Never mind come on lets go" she said taking his hand and leaving the hospital

LATER

Mark and Roxie were through with their fourth date and were at Roxie's door locked in an embrace. As the kiss lingered Mark's hands began to wander and soon one of his hands found its way underneath Roxie's top. As his hands caressed the lace on her bra Roxie began to giggle as she realised he thought he was getting lucky that night. Mark pulled away from her lips and looked at her.

"What's so funny?" he asked

"We're not having sex"

"Didn't think we were I was just getting my under the sweater action like you promised"

Roxie smiled "Well a girl has to limit herself. I don't want you thinking I'm a slut"

"Too late"

"Ha ha…regardless I'm going in now" she said kissing him on the lips "Night"

Roxie walked into her apartment and Mark smiled to himself before walking away.

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie opens the door to her apartment building to find Mark standing before her.

"Hey what are you doing here?" she asked approaching him and kissing him sweetly

"I thought I could take you to breakfast" he replied

"That'd be nice" she smiled taking his hand as they walked down the street together

"You know that this counts as a fifth date?" he stated

"Ooh I see what you're doing. Speed dating to get to the sex I knew you couldn't hold out"

"This has nothing to do with sex"

"Uh hah" smiled Roxie

"It isn't! I'll prove it, forget the sixth date rule, we won't being having sex until I say so"

"You're going to be the reserved one in this relationship? That I'd like to see"

"You're going to"

"You don't have enough willpower to pull this off"

"You're just upset because you thought you were getting some on the next date"

"Yeah that's it I'm struggling to keep my hands off of you" she said jokingly

"You'll just have to try harder to resist me. I know it will be hard"

"I think I'll cope" she said with a giggle as the couple continued down the street

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie is examining a patient when the door opens and a returning Skye walks in looking like hell. Roxie shot a look at her friend as she watched her take the chart from the intern.

"Mr Rodgers I'm Doctor McKenzie I'll be taking a look at your hand" she said handing the chart back and looking at his hand which he had rested between two ice packs whilst wrapped in a towel. Skye looked at the hand and took notice of the severed finger.

"Do we have the finger?"

"My wife has it" said Mr Rodgers looking at his wife who urgently pulled the food bag full of ice out. She handed the bag to Skye who noticed bruising on the wife's wrist and hand. She took the bag and checked the finger and placed it back into the bag.

"Doctor Lewis…" said Skye turning and talking to one of the interns "Take this and clean it up"

"Yes Doctor"

"Mr Rodgers I'm hopeful about reattaching your digit but we have to act fast so as soon as Doctor Leoni is finished with her exam I'd like to get you into the OR"

A Few Minutes Later

Roxie walked out of the patients room and approached Skye who was stood head in hands at the nurses station.

"Are you ok?" asked Roxie

Skye looked up at Roxie "I feel like crap"

"You don't look much better"

"Thanks"

Roxie smiled "You think you should be doing the surgery?"

"I'll be…" suddenly Skye paused and dashed behind the station and began vomiting in the trash

"Skye you can't do this surgery"

Skye looked at Roxie "I know"

"I'll take it, don't worry about it. So what is wrong with you?"

"I think his family poisoned me"

"Poisoned you?"

"There was an incident and then after that I began to feel like his. They poisoned me"

"I'm sure you haven't been poisoned but just in case go lay down and keep drinking plenty of fluids and I will check on you later"

"Ok" agreed Skye as Roxie helped her to her feet. Skye started to walk away and suddenly stopped and turned back "Oh Rox…Mrs Rodgers she has bruising on her wrists and hands…I think she's a victim of spousal abuse"

"You think the severed finger was defence?"

"Maybe"

"Ok I'll deal with it go and lay down"

LATER

Roxie was walking down the corridor when she heard a call from behind.

"Doctor Leoni"

"Mrs Rodgers"

"How is Stu?"

"Mr Rodgers is fine…"

"He's going to make a full recovery right have use of his finger?"

"I can't answer that. There's no reason he can't but he has to work for it"

"Ok…" she said with a look of fear in her eyes

"Mrs Rodgers…let me get you a coffee" she said walking her to the lounge

Minutes Later

Roxie handed her a coffee and sat down with her.

"Mrs Rodgers I don't mean to pry but I wouldn't a good Doctor if I didn't address this. Doctor McKenzie brought it to my attention that you have bruising on your wrists and hands" she said looking at Mrs Rodgers hands which were covered up by her sleeves. "Can I ask how this happened?"

"I trapped it"

"Can I look at it?"

"I don't think I like what you're trying to insinuate Doctor my husband loves me he would never hurt me"

"Mrs Rodgers I can't say that you're a victim of abuse but I can look at the injury and determine cause for it, that's my job and Doctor McKenzie's and she felt it was worth mentioning"

Mrs Rodgers stood up and looked down at Roxie "My husband loves me" she screamed before storming out of the room. Chan caught the closing door and looked in at Roxie.

"You ok?" he asked

"Yeah I'm fine"

"Have you seen Skye?"

"She's in the on call room she's not very well"

"What's wrong with her?"

LATER

Chan and Roxie walked into the on call room to check on Skye. Chan sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked Skye's hair bringing her gently out of her slumber.

"Rox says you're not well"

"I've just been feeling a little nauseous and then I threw up a little bit"

"Babe go home relax"

"No I'm fine I just need some Pepto"

Chan's pager then sounded and he looked it and then back at Skye and kissed her on the forehead. "Ok but take it easy"

"I will"

Chan left the room and Skye looked at Roxie.

"Still think you've been poisoned?"

"Its one of three things, either they poisoned me, I'm repulsed by the fact that Chan said he loved me…"

"He said he loved you?"

"He declared it in front of his family…and finally I think I might be pregnant"

"Pregnant?" asked a stunned Roxie wondering if she'd heard her friend correctly

"I thought it was just a bug but I've thrown up for the last three days"

"How does Chan not know?"

"Big house"

"Well you need to do a test"

Skye sat up and pulled out two pregnancy tests from her lab coat pocket.

"Have you?"

"Not yet"

"Well lets go and find out" said Roxie

LATER

Skye is sat on the toilet seat nervously biting her nails as Roxie stands and watches her both waiting for the result.

"Times up" said Roxie

Skye looked at her friend and then took the test off the toilet paper dispenser.

"It's negative"

"Are you sure?" asked Roxie

"Yeah I read the leaflet a million and one times this is negative"

"Well is this a good thing?" asked Roxie

Skye stared at the stick in a daze nodding her head she snapped out of her daze "Yeah it's a good thing it would have caused so many problems"

"Ok well do you want to do another test just in case it was a false negative?"

"Err…I suppose I could just to check"

Roxie handed her friend the second stick and could sense the disappointment in the room.

A Few Minutes Later

Roxie sat near the basins as Skye paced the bathroom. Roxie looked at her watch and then at Skye.

"Its time" Skye stood still as she watched her friend pick up the stick "It's negative again"

Skye nodded her head and took a deep breath "Ok good, it's good and its definite now two tests can't be wrong. It's just a bug"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm going to go and get something for this" she said leaving the bathroom

Roxie watched her friend leave she then disposed of the pregnancy tests and washed her hands before leaving the room.

LATER

Roxie spotted Mark stood on the walk way looking out at the view she approached him. Mark turned and smiled at the gorgeous woman beside him.

"You ok?" he asked as she didn't say a word

"Rough day, you could make it better"

"Oh yeah?"

"Date six?"

"Dinner?" he proposed with a smile

"Perfect" she replied kissing him on the lips before leaving him on the walk way to continue staring at the view.

Roxie walked over to the nurses station to ask for Mr Rodgers chart which a nurse handed to her.

"Thank you" she said opening it to look at a few things.

Suddenly the door to Mr Rodgers room opened and Mrs Rodgers ran out hysterically as Mr Rodgers shouted furiously from his room. Roxie looked over at Mr Rodgers.

"Sedate him if you have to I'm going to find Mrs Rodgers" said Roxie walking away

MOMENTS LATER

Roxie found Mrs Rodgers on the stairwell crying in a corner. Roxie approached Mrs Rodgers and tried to comfort her but she pushed her away and got aggressive finally lifting her head and screaming at Roxie showing the latest injury sustained from her violent husband.

"Mrs Rodgers you need to call the police these are just minor injuries but it only takes one time, one hit, for this to become a serious accident…possibly fatal. You have to stop him before that happens"

Mrs Rodgers broke down and Roxie consoled her as her tears echoed in the stairwell.

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW


	19. Chapter 19

LATER THAT NIGHT

Mark and Roxie had enjoyed a nice dinner together and had successfully made it to their sixth date. They approached Roxie's door and they duo become enveloped in an intoxicating embrace. Roxie began to pull Mark's shirt out of his pants she ran her hands up under his shirt grazing her nails against his abdomen. Mark pulled away from the kiss and smiled as he watched Roxie beginning to unbuttoned his shirt.

"I thought you could control yourself?" he asked

"I can, when I want to…this isn't one of those times" she said kissing him gently biting on his bottom lip

Mark continued the kiss and butterfly kissed his way to her ear where he stopped and whispered in her ear.

"We're not having sex" he said with a devilish smile before kissing her on the cheek "Goodnight" he said walking away with a smile on his face leaving a bewildered Roxie behind watching him walk away. Roxie unlocked her door and walked inside alone.

AT THE HOSPITAL

Chan ran over and joined Skye who was leaving the hospital. Skye looked at Chan and forced a smile.

"You feeling any better?"

"A little" she lied

"Do you want me to come over tonight I could look after you"

"No not tonight"

"I thought you might want someone with you"

"I just want to be alone" she snapped.

Chan stopped and watched his distant girlfriend walking away from him in a dismissive manner "Have I done something to deserve this?" he said stopping her.

Skye looked back at Chan and watched as he approached her. He towered over her and she looked up at him with sadness in her eyes.

"I thought I was pregnant. I did two tests both negative" Chan could see Skye wasn't overjoyed by this

"You wanted them to be positive?"

"I didn't say that"

"The look on your face did"

"I'm just feeling tired, I've been ill all day, I still feel ill and now you're doing this. I didn't have to tell you"

"Oh I should be grateful?"

"Chan I thought I was and I'm not, end of"

"You have the right to feel however you want about this but you should know I'm relieved. I love you make no doubt about it but I'm not in this place personally neither of us are professionally"

"Ok can I go now?" said an infuriated Skye

"Yeah go" Chan watched as Skye walked away from him wondering if she would ever come back to him

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie saw Mark walk into the lounge she followed him in and he turned to see who was at the door and smiled as he saw Roxie closing the door behind her.

"Morning" he said stirring his coffee and leaning against the table

Roxie smiled as she approached him "Hi"

The smiled on Mark's face grew as he realised she was trying to entice him. Roxie stepped in between Mark's legs and took the coffee out of his hand and placed it on the table she ran her hands over his chest and he placed one hand on her hip, Roxie moved in and kissed Mark who reciprocated. Roxie pulled away and smiled at Mark.

"Meet me in the on call room?" she asked

Mark smiled and Roxie became hopeful the smile then grew and he began to shake his head "Sorry babe I'm not in the mood" he said moving her out of his way picking up his coffee and leaving the room. Roxie shook her head and sighed as she grew ever more frustrated at Mark's games.

ELSEWHERE

Skye was walking down the corridor followed by interns and a resident when Chan came into sight.

"Doctor McKenzie can I speak to you"

"I'm busy Doctor Tatum" she said walking past him

"It's about a patient"

Skye stopped and turned to him "Carry on to the patient's room I'll be there in a minute" the resident and interns left "What is it?"

"You've been ignoring me"

"I think we need a little time apart"

"Why? We were great then you took those tests and now you're pissed at me for not mourning a pregnancy we'd never even discussed"

"I have to go"

"Ridiculous" stated Chan as he stormed off in the opposite direction to Skye

Skye looked back at Chan and then proceeded to her patients room

IN THE CAFETERIA

Roxie was sat at the table alone when she was joined by Derek who sat down with a smile on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" asked Roxie

"Life's good that's all"

"Nice to know someone's is"

"Are you and Mark not good?"

"He's trying to irritate me and frankly its working but I can't let him know its working"

"Irritate you?" asked Derek bewildered

"He hasn't told you?"

"Apparently not"

"He's decided to be celibate…sort of"

"He's refusing sex?"

"Yes"

Derek smiled "And this is frustrating you?"

"Not the dry spell, him…he's frustrating me I know he can't hold out"

"Maybe he's changed"

"What's the saying a leopard can't change its spots"

"He's not a leopard he might just surprise you"

"Is this weird for you?"

"Mark not having sex? It's a little unnerving" Roxie smiled as Derek tried to lighten to mood "It's not weird and I hope it isn't for you. I enjoy our chats and I hope that I can come to you when myself and Meredith hit another rough patch…just to talk"

"When? Don't you mean if?"

"A leopard can't change its spots" he said repeating her previous statement

"She's not a leopard"

"Touche'" he said with a smile

Across the room Meredith and her friends were watching Derek and Roxie

"What they're friends?" asked Cristina

"Yeah" replied Meredith unable to take her eyes off them

"And you're ok with this?" her friend probed

"Yes!"

"You are so not ok with this" her friend stated

"I am they're just talking"

"That's how it started last time" added Karev

"Shut up" said Stevens trying to protect Meredith

"I trust him"

"I wouldn't" said Karev

Meredith continued to watch Derek and Roxie and wondered if she could trust him something she'd never had to ask herself before.

LATER

Mark was doing sit ups inside his hotel room when he was interrupted by knocking at the door he stood up and answered the door. He smiled as he saw Roxie stood before him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked already sure he knew the answer.

"Well I was just wondering if you wanted some company?" she said opening her overcoat to reveal some very sexy lingerie.

Mark smiled as he admired the view before him "I'm still not in the mood" he said shaking his head and staring intently

"You sure?" she asked

"I've got to get back to my workout" he said stepping back and trying to close the door which Roxie blocked

"I could give you a workout"

Mark giggled "I bet you could but no still not in the mood"

"Wow you have more willpower than I thought"

"Either that or I'm an idiot" he said before closing the door in her face leaving her stunned on the other side of the door. A smile crept on her face as she realised she wasn't going to get in that room. Passers by were getting an eyeful as they walked by looking at Roxie in her lingerie she turned to them. "What are you looking at?" she said hurrying them along Roxie then closed and fastened her overcoat and left the hotel.

THE NEXT DAY

Mark and Derek were walking through the corridor together discussing Mark's new vow of celibacy.

"And you think you're capable of doing this?"

"It's a lot harder than I thought, no pun intended"

"I imagine it would be for a man whore"

"I'm no longer a man whore. I like Roxie a lot, she's beautiful, intelligent and most of all she gets me and doesn't try to change me. In fact she's as bad as I am"

"What do you mean?"

"She turned up at my room last night wearing the sexiest lingerie you have ever seen in your life. I don't know how I said no but I did"

"You're an idiot" stated Derek "You have this gorgeous woman wanting you, practically begging you and you choose this time to be a better man. Seriously Mark what do you think this celibacy thing is proving?"

"That I'm serious about her, and it's not just about sex with her because it isn't"

"That's sweet and all but you're you and she's begging you for sex…there are other ways of proving it where you can get laid in the process" Derek said with a smile

Mark laughed "Yeah I know but torturing her is fun"

The two men laughed as they continued walking.

LATER

Mark followed Roxie into the on call room where she was tying her hair up. He approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist Roxie smiled and touched his hands as he began to caress her neck.

"What happened to the Mark who turned me down yesterday?" she asked

"He's gone into retirement" Roxie smiled

"Thank God" she said turning around to face him and kissing him intensely.

Roxie was so happy that the Mark she fell for was back and this was confirmed as Mark pulled off her shirt and manoeuvred over towards the bed where they both collapsed in an overzealous embrace.

ELSEWHERE

Chan was tired of being ignored by Skye and he followed her into the lounge standing in front of the door stopping her from leaving. He wanted to know what he had done that was so wrong that she was avoiding him.

"I know all this has something to do with the pregnancy test but I don't know what I've done wrong to deserve this so just tell me"

"You haven't done anything I just need some time to myself"

"Skyler did you want to be pregnant?"

Skye looked at Chan and knew he deserved an explanation but she couldn't understand her reaction herself.

"No, I didn't want to be pregnant and I was terrified to take that test in case I was because I agree with you we're not ready but when…when it came back negative I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I didn't understand why at first and this is probably going to come out all wrong but…"

"But what?" he urged her to continue

"For a small time…I felt like we were a real couple"

"What do you mean a real couple?"

"I feel like a convenience, you can come to work and get your kicks, like I'm the easy option. I feel like I was in the right place at the right time"

"I took you to meet my family…I don't do that with a casual fling"

"I'm sorry I can't explain this any better but this is what I'm feeling. I feel like we're just convenient to each other"

"I can't believe you're saying this. Do you know how many girlfriends my parents have met?"

"Chan…"

"One…you, that's it. I have done nothing but treat you right. I met you and I started falling, I pursued you and I put up with crap while trying to get with you and when you finally agreed to it I was on top of the world. I've been falling for you since the day we met and I took you to meet my family to let them know that I'd found you and now you're telling me this and I don't know what to do differently to make you feel loved. I'm sorry that you feel like this but maybe this is your own insecurity"

"I wish I didn't feel like this but when you said you didn't want a kid it was like you were saying you didn't want commitment that if I had been pregnant it would have been a bad thing because we would have had to have been together…I…I can't explain it"

"Because I don't want a kid with you right now, you think it means I don't want you at all?" Skye nodded her head "I can't deal with your amateur dramatics Skye…when you've figured it out and come to your senses come and find me but I can't do anything to make you feel better because this is all you…I did nothing wrong"

Chan walked out of the room and left a hurt and confused Skye behind wondering what she was doing to Chan. She knew he loved her but she couldn't help feeling the way she did.

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie was in the shower the hot water was beating down on her as she stood under the shower head with her eyes closed indulging in the moment. The solitary moment was soon over as Mark joined Roxie in the shower a smile crept on her face as Mark's arms encircled her and he began kissing at her shoulders and neck. She turned her head and kissed him on the lips she then continued to let him softly attack her with amorous kisses.

"Why have you never bought a place in Seattle?" she asked completely destroying the moment

"Can you not see what's happening here?" asked Mark trying to get the mood back

"I'm just curious"

"I have everything I need and want in the hotel why would I move?"

"It must cost a fortune to live here"

"It does"

"For what you pay here you could get your own place and your own things"

"I don't want to move I'm happy with my the hotel room and the hotels things now can we concentrate" he said kissing Roxie who pivoted to face Mark their kiss intensified and in the already smouldering shower they made their own heat.

LATER

Roxie approached Mark who was walking down the corridor on his way to the cafeteria.

"If you got your own place there would be more versatility for…us"

"We have your place for that" he replied with a kiss

"Yeah but I can't surprise you at my place"

"You can surprise me at the hotel…there's something extra kinky about it in the hotel"

"Why are you being so stubborn?" she asked

"Because I'm happy at the hotel and I have no desire to buy my own place right now"

"Why not?"

"Honestly?"

"Honestly"

"I never intended to stay here, I miss New York"

"So do I but I stayed and I made roots. That doesn't mean I can't go back though"

"You're not going to change my mind" he said stopping kissing her and turning off leaving her to watch him walk away.

Suddenly a smile crept on her face as she realised there may be one way she could change his mind. Skye approached Roxie and looked in the same direction as her friend and saw Mark walk out of sight.

"What's with the smile?"

"Nothing just devising a plan of action"

"For what?" she asked

"Rox can I get a consult?" asked Chan approaching the two women

"Yeah no problem can you give me five minutes though I just need to check on someone"

"Yeah no problem down the hall second door on the right" he said before walking away

Roxie noticed the cold air between Skye and Chan and she turned to her friend.

"What's going on?"

"It's a long story" replied Skye as she walked away

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

"Ok Mrs Moore I'll schedule the surgery"

"Thank you Dr Leoni"

Roxie and Chan left the room and Chan waited for Roxie to start with the questions.

"Well?"

"I have been nothing but loving, enthusiastic and patient with her and she just threw it all back in my face and said she felt like I was using her and that it wasn't a real relationship just sex…a convenience in her words"

"I feel like that sometimes with Mark"

"You do?"

"Yeah you'd be narcissistic not to. It just feels…too…convenient. You work together you see each other more than you see your own family. The hours here are so heavy that when you do get time off you either end up back here checking on patients or you miss the company of these people because they are the only people in your life so hooking up with one of them saves on having to socialise and sustain a relationship outside of here. Look at Mark he's slept with nearly the entire female staff at this hospital and yeah it's because he's a man whore but also because he's a dedicated Doctor who doesn't want to leave the hospital. So yeah there are times when I ask myself if this is something real or something convenient"

"You think that's what she's doing?"

"Possibly maybe you being so relieved about the negative test made her ask herself is it because you don't want a kid or you don't want any ties to her"

"She told you?"

"She told me"

"How do I make it better? How do I make her realise that this is the real thing?"

"Maybe a gesture of some sort"

"Was the family not a gesture?"

"It was sweet but I don't think it worked"

"A gesture to prove I love her. Like a key? Like living together? Like a baby? I'm not ready for a kid"

"You'll find something that you're comfortable with and that is a big enough gesture to prove to her that you're serious about you two as a couple"

Chan kissed Roxie on the cheek

"Thank you"

"Don't worry about it" she said with a smile

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW**


	20. Chapter 20

AT THE HOSPITAL

Mark and Roxie walked out of the hospital with Marks hand firmly around Roxie's shoulder he sheltered her from the cold.

"So where are we going tonight yours or mine?" asked Mark

"You don't have a place" said Roxie getting in a low blow

"Yours it is then" smiled Mark as they walked past Chan who was stood waiting for Skye

"Night Chan"

"Night Rox"

A Little While Later

Skye walked out of the hospital and slowed down as she got to Chan who was stood bundled up in a huge coat and beanie hat with his hands in his pockets he stared at Skye.

"I get why you're feeling this way. I didn't but Roxie helped me to realise and I'm going to try and prove to you that this is real. I'm not with you because it's convenient I'd still want to be with you if we were at either ends of the earth. You're the one I'm meant to be with"

"Chan…"

"No don't say anything just wait…take time to yourself…and wait for me to prove to you that this is no faux love"

Chan kissed Skye on the cheek and took in her scent before pulling back and giving her a slight smile as he walked away. Skye watched him leave and collapsed on the bench. Just then Ryan along with Karev walked out of the hospital. Ryan stopped next to her sister.

"I'll meet you at the car" she said sending Karev away. Ryan sat down next to her sister and put her arm around her.

"Why can't I just let myself be happy? I have to make something out of nothing to sabotage my own relationship. Why do I do it?"

"Skye you have every right to be sceptical all women are"

"You're not"

"That's because I've never had a relationship before but this with Karev its completely messing with my head because I know what a dog he is. I know if things get complicated he'll probably cheat on me"

"Then why are you doing it?"

"There's always that possibility that things won't get complicated and that the happily ever after crap will actually ring true"

"You really have a way with words" joked Skye

"Chan's a good guy he wouldn't intentionally hurt you and he really is smitten"

"Ryan you coming?" shouted Karev

"I have to go. See you later sis"

"Have fun" said Skye

"I intend to" she said with a devilish smile and a wink

A FEW DAYS LATER

Mark was sat at the table outside Derek's trailer with a coffee in hand. Derek joined him from inside the trailer.

"So she wants you to move out of the hotel?"

"Yeah but I'm happy where I am she's just going to have to get used to it"

"You've been here long enough now to get your own place so why don't you?"

"I just don't want to. I wouldn't have told you if I knew you were going to take her side"

"There aren't any sides she just has a point"

"You know what she's trying to do don't you?"

"No"

"She's trying to get me to move in with her"

"Really?" asked Derek with a smile as he looked at his paranoid friend

"Think about it she thinks she can nag me into leaving the hotel, then when I start looking for a place she'll want to look as well to give her approval. Then she'll find a problem with each one of them and then all of a sudden the light bulb will come on and she'll say; here's an idea why don't you move in with me? It makes sense we both work crazy long hours its perfect, then before you know it I'm married with six kids"

Derek laughed "You really think she's that Machiavellian?"

"She's a woman, they all are. I just happen to like this woman's company"

"I love watching you deal with a relationship its makes me look less pathetic"

"Ha ha" smiled Mark as the two men enjoyed their morning coffee

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Mark walked out of a patient's room and saw Roxie in cap and gown and called after her.

"Roxie!"

Roxie turned and smiled as Mark approached her and kissed her sweetly

"Did you want something?"

"I wondered if you wanted to meet up in the on call room"

"I'm going into surgery"

"Not right now, when you're finished"

"I don't know"

"I didn't want to bring this up here but do you realise we haven't had sex since our dirty shower four days ago"

"Really?" she asked teasingly

"Yeah it's not like us so I think we should make up for lost time"

"Definitely we should find somewhere to have hot, rampant and harmonious sex"

"Yeah" agreed Mark getting excited at the thought of it

"If only you had your own place" she jabbed before walking away from Mark

Mark smiled as he realised what she was doing.

LATER

Derek laughed hysterically as his friend grew frustrated.

"A sex embargo?" asked Derek

"I don't know how I didn't figure it out sooner"

"She's really good. She's got you right where she wants you"

"She thinks she has"

"She definitely has"

"We'll see shall we?" he said with a smile

LATER

Roxie through with surgery walked over to the nurse's station to hand over the patients chart. As she approached she found her friend stood in a daze.

"Skye"

Skye snapped out of her daze and looked at Roxie.

"Chan hasn't been at work for the last four days"

"He hasn't?"

"No where is he?" she asked concerned

"Maybe he needed some time to himself he was a little upset when I spoke to him last"

"The last thing he said to me was he was going to prove this was the real thing. Then he disappears"

"Maybe he's thinking"

"Maybe…take my mind off of him please"

"I've commenced a sex embargo" stated Roxie

"We don't speak for a few days and this happens?"

Roxie smiled "It's my master plan to get Mark out of the hotel"

"You think it will work?"

"Sex mad Mark? Yeah I think it might" she said with a cheesy smile

Skye laughed "Oh I've missed laughing"

"Skye I get why you feel like this but I really do think he's one of the good ones"

"So people keep telling me but I just can't risk it…"

"Risk what?"

Roxie looked at her friend and could see she was hiding something. Skye shook her head and sighed before divulging the secret reason

"My name isn't Skyler McKenzie…"

"What?" asked a confused Roxie

"It's Skyler Gage, McKenzie is my maiden name"

"You're married?"

"I was a long time ago"

"Bad experience?"

"He was my high school sweetheart we'd been together since we were fifteen, we did everything together, we went to college together and then he decided he wanted to be a lawyer and I wanted to be a doctor so we made a pact to go to the same university and went to Tulane together. I fell pregnant…"

"What happened?"

"…He got angry told me he didn't want kids, we weren't in the right place to have them and that I was ruining his life but I couldn't get rid of this kid inside me, this little person who'd nothing wrong. Things started getting rocky between us after that he felt I was trying to ruin his life so I told him I'd had a termination and I figured I'd work it out later but he came back one morning and caught me throwing up, he knew I hadn't gotten rid of the baby and he just…he went crazy…"

"You lost it?"

Skye turned to her friend with tears in her eyes "He killed it, he killed our baby. I left him straight away but this was my soul mate, we were meant to be together, it just felt right from day one up until the day I fell pregnant. I'm not angry with Chan for not wanting a kid he is right we're not ready it would have been wrong but all this came flooding back and I felt trapped like it was all happening again so instead of talking to Chan about this I pushed him away and blamed him"

"And now you can't find him?"

"What do I do?"

"Wait for him that's all you can do"

"Thanks for listening I should go and get my rounds done"

"Ok page me if you need me" said Roxie as her friend walked away

LATER

Roxie walked up to her apartment and put the key in the lock. She opened the door and stood dumbfounded. She slowly walked inside and closed the door with her jaw hung low she couldn't believe what she was seeing. All Mark's clothes were strewn about her apartment. Just then Mark walked into the living area to see the stunned expression on Roxie's face.

"Hey babe" he said smiling at his actions

"You moved out of the hotel?"

"Yeah I was thinking about what you said about it costing so much and then getting my own place and I thought to myself why should I overpay for my own place when we're spending so much time together it just makes more sense for me to move in here with you"

"Yeah I guess so" said Roxie still trying to take it all in "You didn't think to talk to me first?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise"

"Well it is" she said hugging him "A wonderful surprise, I never would have thought of this"

"Really?"

"Really" she said pulling away "Now we can be a proper couple. Do you realise this is a serious commitment?" she said walking away with a devilish smile on her face as she played games with Mark knowing he'd only done this to infuriate her.

THE NEXT DAY

Skye was in the locker room getting ready for rounds when the door opened and Chan walked in. Skye stood up and Chan smiled at her.

"Hi" said Chan

"Hey" she said hugging him "Where have you been?" she asked squeezing him tight

"I just took a few days off I needed to do some thinking. You missed me?"

Skye pulled away and looked at Chan "I'm sorry I overreacted"

"Don't worry about it you were right what we have it looks convenient but I want to prove to you its more than that. Will you go out with me tonight?"

"Ok"

"It's a date then"

"Yeah" Skye looked at her watch "I have to go but I'll see you at some point right?"

"Yeah" he said nodding with a huge smile on his face

LATER

Mark approached Roxie and put his hand on her hip and smiled. Roxie smiled back at him.

"Hi roomy" he said planting a kiss on her cheek "I had a great idea, we should record one of those really corny answering machine messages"

"Wow that is a great idea and today on the way home I'm picking up some his and hers towels I have put aside, I've always wanted some"

"Great" replied Mark with a half smile

Roxie kissed Mark and with a smile she walked away.

"You two are pathetic" said Derek who had been listening to them both.

"She's trying to get to me and frankly its working"

"Why don't you just go back to the hotel?"

"Because I'm not going to let her beat me"

"Beat you at what?"

"She's trying to change me and I can't let her"

"Mark I think it may be too late for that. She's already changed you the old Mark was a womaniser without a soul. Since Roxie's come on the scene you've become a one woman man who thinks about somebody else other than himself"

Mark realised Derek was right she had changed him "She's good she did all that so subtly this is why I can't let her change this. She can't move me out of the hotel because that's the last bit of Mark Sloan left"

"A hotel room? This is what your life and bravado comes down to a hotel room?" asked Derek

"No before her I had the womanising soulless narcissist act"

Derek smiled "Is changing so bad? You've got yourself a great woman who despite you being who you are, loves you"

'Can Dr Shepherd please make his way to the ER: Can Dr Shepherd please make his way to the ER'

Derek put down the chart in his hand and looked at his friend.

"Change isn't always a bad thing" he said before walking away and leaving his friend to contemplate his words.

LATER

Skye and Chan were sat in the middle of a very chic restaurant waiting for their meals.

"So I thought maybe going to see my family for a few days might help clear my head and it did. It made me all the more certain that I was making the best decision of my life"

"Decision?" asked Skye

"Yeah" smiled Chan as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a jewellery box

Skye's heart pounded as she looked at the box with sheer fret and confusion.

"Please don't tell me that's what I think it is"

"Skyler…" Chan began

"Chan don't please" she pleaded

"I knew I'd found the right person for me the moment I met you…"

"Chan stop"

"And I know that we're meant to be together forever…so Skye will make me the happiest man in the world and become my wife?"

Chan held out the ring box in one hand and took Skye's hand in the other and looked at Skye lovingly who looked on in abject horror.

"No" Chan stared at her in disbelief for a moment and then let go of her hand "Chan I'm sorry but this isn't right. Marriage shouldn't be used as a band aid. I'm sorry" she said before standing up and walking away from Chan leaving him alone at the table with a ring in his hand and a restaurant full of eyes on him making him feel diminutive.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie was sat behind the desk with her eyes closed and her head tilted back trying to get a little tranquillity before she had to move again.

"Roxie" said a familiar voice

Roxie opened her eyes and looked over to find Skye staring down at her. With heavy lids she sat up and looked at her friends' attire.

"Wow you look nice you going somewhere?" asked Roxie

"No I've already been, I went out to dinner with Chan"

"Oh and you're back here? Was it that bad?"

Skye took a deep breath "He proposed to me"

Roxie sighed "Oh Chan" she said shaking her head "I told him to make a gesture to show he was serious about you. I didn't mean for him to propose. Men they're just hard work" she said rubbing her forehead with frustration

Skye joined Roxie behind the desk and fell in a frustrated heap into the chair.

"I just want to forget it all, the pregnancy scare, and the proposal"

The two girls sat in silence for a moment then Roxie broke the silence.

"Mark moved out the hotel"

"So the master plan worked?"

"Kind of…he moved out of the hotel and right into my place"

"You're living with Sloan?"

"No, he's only doing this to irritate me"

"How's it working out?"

"He's pretty good at irritating me" she said nodding her head with a smile on her face "But I am way better at irritating him" she giggled and Skye smiled

"You two have a very strange relationship" Roxie looked at her friend with a smile in her eyes "What?"

"You called it a relationship; does this mean you don't completely hate him?"

"Oh no I still hate him but I love you and he makes you happy"

"You need to talk to Chan"

Skye nodded "I know just not right now, I need to think of what I'm going to say first so I don't end up offending and losing him for good"

Just then Roxie's pager went off she took it from her hip and saw it was a trauma in the ER.

"I have to go" she said standing up as she moved from behind the desk Richard appeared.

"We have a road accident, multiple traumas, ETA five minutes" as he finished speaking to Roxie he saw Skye sat down.

"Are you here?" he asked her

"No but if you need me…"

"We need you suit up and make your way to the ER"

A FEW MINUTES LATER

The ambulances began to arrive the sirens deafening and the tension palpable. The doors flew open on the ambulances and traumas were rolled out, pandemonium reigned as EMT's began shouting out facts to the Doctors on hand.

"We've got a John Doe; he presents with flail chest, open head wound, fractured ankle and deep lacerations covering the lower extremities"

The gurney was rolled out and Roxie lifted the blanket to look at the flail chest. She then looked up at the victims head injury and was shocked to a complete halt.

"Richard this isn't a John Doe, its Chan" she said turning to looking at Richard and immediately noticing Skye stood behind them. "Skye" Richard looked over at a traumatised Skye and then at the vigilant interns.

"Skye I know this looks bad but we have this under control but you can't stay here. Skye" Richard got no response from an emotionless and anguished Skye "You two" said Richard pointing at two of the interns "Take her to doctors lounge and do not leave her side do you understand?"

"Yes sir" said the interns tending to Skye who stood stubbornly

"Skyler I will not treat this man while you are here. You have to leave" ordered Richard

Roxie ran over to Skye "Skye, I'm good…in fact I'm the greatest there is. There is no way I am going to be less than extraordinary. I won't quit, I don't know how to…and the Chief…is the chief for a reason. He…we won't quit…Chan is in the best hands but we can't do this with you watching us. We can't do this seeing this fear in your eyes we need you to go to the lounge and do whatever you have to do to get through this but remembering that we're that damn good. Can you do that for me?"

Skye for the first time took her eyes off of Chan and looked at her friend "He wasn't driving"

"What?" asked Roxie confused by her friend's statement

"We walked"

Roxie looked back over at the EMT. "He got hit by the car"

Roxie turned back to her friend "Ok…Skye you have to go…now!" The two interns each grabbed a hand and tried to move her away but Skye stood strong "Skye move!!" screamed Roxie. Skye began to sob and relented as the interns dragged her away from the chaos.

Roxie turned back to Richard who was as uneasy about the situation as her. Richard nodded his head as if talking himself into it.

"Leoni you need to get back here and work your magic, this boy has got a long, hard battle in front of him"

Roxie ran back to Chan's side and stroked the head of her friend in her head making a promise to him. Roxie then stood strong and began to help Chan screaming instructions at the staff around her.

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW**


	21. Chapter 21

The room was bustling as the hospital staff worked chaotically to save one of their own.

"Shepherd what have you got?" asked Richard

"I need him in the OR ASAP he's haemorrhaging there's nothing more I can do here"

"Leoni?"

"Flail chest, perforated lung…possibly internal injuries. I need to do an ex-lap"

"Torres?"

"Fractured ankle, I've set it, it needs elevating until I can stabilise it"

"Yang?"

"Deep lacerations some minimal, some could become problematic I'll continue cleaning them up in the OR"

"Ok people this is one of our own, this is Chan, we can't let him down"

LATER

Skye was pacing the lounge as the interns sat watching her as directed by Dr Webber. The door opened and Roxie appeared. Skye looked at her with concern.

"He's fighting" Skye sighed and her eyes welled up. Roxie comforted her friend. "Baileys repairing his kidney, Derek's working on controlling the bleeding on his brain, Torres has put a cast on his ankle and Yang is cleaning and suturing. He's fighting Skye" Skye pulled away

"He's still laid there with a crushed chest, and TBI. Even if he pulls through what are the chances he's going to make a full recovery?"

"He's a young, healthy, determined guy there's no reason he can't"

"Don't do that, don't treat me like family, don't lie to me and try and make me feel better, just tell me the truth" she screamed at her friend who didn't know how to deal with the situation.

**A Little While Later**

**The door opened to the OR and Roxie walked in followed by an anxious Skye. Richard looked over and saw Skye.**

**"Leoni get her out of here"**

**"No"**

**"Excuse me"**

**"She's a doctor, not naïve family who are hoping for a miracle. She's a doctor who knows exactly what could happen in here. She's pacing the lounge with all these facts and text book possibilities and probabilities. She's a doctor she needs facts, she needs to know what is happening in here"**

**The room stood silent as the staff were dubious to tell her of Chan's injuries. Skye stared at Chan who laid on the table looking weak and insignificant.**

**"He has a subarachnoid haemorrhage and I'm treating with endovascular coiling" started Derek "It's risky but it's his best option and he's strong enough to fight through it"**

**Bailey looked at Derek and then at Skye. "He has flail chest which has caused a perforated lung and ruptured kidney that has** bled extensively into the retroperitoneal space. I am conducting a Nephrectomy, if no complications arise we will make him comfortable and treat the flail chest in the best way we can but I can see him coming through this with no problems"

Bailey looked at Yang urging her to speak up "Err…some deep lacerations doesn't appear to be any long term muscle damage, I'm cleaning and suturing. He'll be fine"

"Fractured ankle it's a simple fracture where the bones are just slightly misaligned, I've manipulated the ankle and I have placed it in a cast" informed Dr Torres

"See I told you he's a fighter" said Roxie taking her friends hand "Lets take you back to the lounge"

Skye looked back over her shoulder at the man she loved as she was led out of the OR to go back to waiting. The interns took over from Roxie who walked back into the OR.

"What was that about?" asked Richard

"She needed to know Richard. She needed to see him and see that he was still alive and still fighting"

"You shouldn't have brought her in here"

"Roxie's right she needed to see him" said Derek remembering his experience when Meredith was in a critical condition

LATER

Chan was out of surgery and was in recovery with Skye by his side. Roxie stood outside the room watching her friend when she was approached by Mark who took her in his arms. Roxie held him tight and their stupid antics were cast aside as she thanked God it wasn't Mark in there.

THE NEXT DAY

Derek was in Chan's room checking on the patient as Skye who hadn't slept sat staring at Chan as he lay unconscious.

"The longer it takes the worse the scenario right?" asked Skye

"Not necessarily" replied Derek looking over at her and sitting down next to Skye "The longer he's asleep the more he's recuperating which is a good thing"

"But it could mean the worst?"

"There's always that possibility but I don't think this is one of those times, I really do have complete faith in him recovering"

"I wish I did" admitted Skye

"You'll see he'll wake up soon and he'll be groggy and tired but he'll be himself"

"He proposed to me and I turned him down"

"Ahh"

"I can't let that be the last moment between us but there's nothing I can do. I'm a doctor and I can't help him"

"I helped him, Bailey, Yang, Torres, the chief…Rox…we all helped him. Now he's got to help himself and I don't think he's the kind of guy who quits. I mean he was very determined and persistent with you, you just have to remember that and hope he's as determined and persistent with this"

"You really are McDreamy aren't you?"

Derek smiled as he squeezed her hand comforting her. At that moment they heard a wail from outside and Skye could see Chan's family outside his mother was hysterical. Skye stood up and walked outside followed by Derek where she informed them of Chan's status. Whilst Derek and Skye were trying to assure and comfort his family a nurse appeared from the room.

"Doctors he's conscious" she exclaimed

Derek and Skye returned to the room where Chan's eyes were examining the room as he fought the intubation.

"Chan, Chan it's me it's Skye. I need your to calm down. You were in an accident and you had to be intubated. I need you to calm down I need your breathing to become normal and your levels to drop" Skye watched as he calmed himself. She could see the pain on his face "I know you're in pain, I know. You presented with flail chest, you perforated your lung…we need to keep you intubated for a little while just until we see some improvement" Skye began to hyperventilate as she saw the pain in his eyes

Derek pulled her away "Sit down" Derek approached Chan "Roxie will be in shortly to check on you but until we get the all clear from her you have to remain intubated. I know this is frustrating and you have a thousand and one questions but I am going to send each doctor on your case in individually to speak to you to give you a better understanding. You were in a traffic accident, apparently you were hit by a car, you initially presented with flail chest, open head trauma, fractured ankle and deep lacerations. I examined you to find a **subarachnoid haemorrhage I treated with endovascular coiling I will continue to monitor you but I have no reason to believe that you won't make a full recovery. Ok we need to make a communication bridge can you blink for me?" Derek watched as Chan blinked "Excellent ok once for no, twice for yes ok?" Chan blinked twice "Very good" said Derek with a smile "Do you want to see Skye again?" Chan blinked twice and Derek smiled and turned to Skye "He wants to see you"**

**Skye stood up and walked forward to Chan and smiled "Are you in a lot of pain?" Chan blinked once and Skye smiled "Do you remember what happened?" Chan blinked once "Do you remember me?" Chan stared at Skye for a lingering moment and blinked twice which made Skye very happy. "Good. Your family are outside do you want to see them?" Chan blinked twice. Derek proceeded to bring Chan's family in and they surrounded the bed. "He's communicating through blinking so you need to ask him yes and no questions and it's once for no, twice for yes" informed Skye who stepped back**

**"Thank you" said his mother to Skye.**

**LATER**

**Mark walked over to Roxie who was stood watching Chan and his family as Skye waited outside like an outcast. Mark put his hand on her hip.**

**"Are you ok?" he asked**

**Roxie looked at him and smiled with a sigh "Yeah I'm fine"**

**"Then why the sigh?"**

**"He proposed to her; she should be in that room not worrying about him out here"**

**"Well you are the doctor, clear the room"**

**The thought hadn't registered with her "Clear the room?" she smiled "I knew I kept you around for something" she said kissing him and making her way over to the room. She walked in and the whole family turned to her she walked over to Chan and checked his BP and airway. **

**"I'm sorry but visiting time is over for now. Chan is extremely tired he needs to rest"**

**"Ok" said his mom kissing his hand**

**The room quickly cleared and Roxie checked the motion of his diaphragm. **

**"That's good motion Chan keep this up and the intubation can come out"**

**Chan grabbed Roxie's hand and she looked at him.**

**"She's outside" said Roxie knowing what he wanted "I'll get her" Chan let go of Roxie's hand and she invited Skye into the room.**

**"How is he?" she asked taking his hand and smiling at him**

**"So far so good"**

**"The tube?"**

**"Not just yet"**

**"When?" she asked her friend**

**"Skye I know this is what you want but it's not what's best for Chan. Yeah if I take the tube out he'll be able to breathe on his own but he'll be agony. Right now the pain he's in is a ten and that's with the tube if I take it out the pain is going to be horrendous"**

**"I need to hear his voice, I need to talk to you" she said speaking to Chan**

**"You can do that, he's right there"**

**Skye looked at Roxie and her friend smiled before walking out of the room.**

**"Why is she allowed in there?" asked Chan's mother**

**"She's been out here watching all of you in there; she hasn't left his side since he came out of the OR. She loves him just as much as you do, she deserves to be in there" said Roxie walking over to Mark who hadn't left**

**"How is he?"**

**"He's got a long battle in front of him. I'm not even worried about Chan, he 'is' a fighter no doubt about it but this is going to take its toll on Skye. She's expecting too much too soon"**

"She's just worried; she's a doctor she knows what to expect"

"I hope so"

"I'll see you later gorgeous" said Mark kissing her on the top of her head as he walked away

"Bye" replied Roxie turning to watch him walk away and moving her attention over to Skye and Chan.

INSIDE THE ROOM

"I probably should have told you sooner especially with what happened with Mark and Roxie and Sean but it's just apart of my past I don't want to remember. I just felt like it was all happening again and I know that you would never hurt me but it was just so familiar…I'm sorry. It's also why I freaked out when you proposed to me. I do love you and I do want to marry you…in fact…" she looked into Chan's eyes and smiled "Chan…will you marry me?"

Chan stared at Skye and blinked twice. Skye smiled and kissed Chan on the forehead.

A WEEK LATER

In Chan's room Roxie was stood at the head of the bed as Skye stood holding his hand.

"You ready Chan?" asked Roxie smiling as Chan blinked twice "Ok lets get this tube out on three"

"Do you think this is a good idea?" asked Richard watching on

"The flail segments are healing nicely and paradoxical motion is minimal. He can breathe on his own he doesn't need the tube he just needs a little help and to help with the breathing pattern he'll have the ventilator equipped with a very attractive face mask. I was just concerned about the pain he was going to be in if I took this out sooner, he's ready now"

"Ok proceed" said a sceptical Richard

"On three Chan…one…two…three"

Roxie pulled out the tube and Chan coughed slightly and grabbed his abdomen.

"Ok breathe slowly now Chan" said Roxie trying to get him to breathe softly to help ease his pain

"Hey" said Skye smiling at Chan

"Hi" croaked Chan

"I love you" she said kissing him on the lips intensely as though she'd waited a lifetime to do so.

"I love you too"

The room cleared out and the two lovebirds were left to catch up and have a two way conversation for the first time since the accident.

LATER

Derek is stood watching Skye and Chan together and is soon joined by Mark who looks in the direction of the besotted couple.

"They make it look so easy don't they?"

"Who would have thought 'Prudence' would be this unprofessional and fall in love with a work colleague" said Mark

Derek smiled "Prudence? Are you still a little bitter that she turned you down?"

"No, I have Roxie"

"And how is the battle of the brainless going?"

"We've been really civilised since Chan but he's back on the ball now and so am I" said Mark with a devilish smile that hid his dastardly tactics

"What have you done?"

"She'll tell you tomorrow no doubt"

"Mark has living with her been so bad?" asked Derek

"Spending time with her isn't the problem it's the fact that she's taking away my essence"

"A hotel room?"

"Independence"

"You have this independence and choose to spend the time with Roxie"

"It's a matter of principle"

"It's the battle of the brainless like I already said"

"Does Rox know you're calling her brainless?"

"I'm not, Roxie I agree with; you making a big deal over a hotel room…I don't get that"

"Imagine Meredith taking you out of the trailer"

"She wouldn't do that"

"No because in your relationship she has the commitment phobia"

"So this hotel room is basically your fears? You're holding onto your fears because you're scared of committing yourself to one woman?"

Mark listened to the words coming from his friend's mouth and wondered to himself if that was really what he was doing. He shrugged off Derek's insolence and smiled.

"I can't let her move me out of the hotel because that is my last solace"

Derek's pager went off and he silenced it and looked at his friend.

"Never once did she ask you to move in with her. All she 'suggested' was you move out of the hotel. I have to go"

Mark watched Derek leave and then looked at Skye and Chan who were holding hands and smiling.

AT ROXIES APARTMENT

Roxie arrived home and opened the door expecting to be greeted by Mark she was shocked to be greeted by hordes of marked boxes. Mark appeared and approached Roxie kissing her on the cheek.

"What are these boxes?"

"My things" replied Mark

"I thought you'd moved everything in?"

"From the hotel yeah these are my things from New York"

"My apartment isn't big enough for all of this stuff"

"Our apartment babe and it will be because we're going to sort through some things and throw some stuff away put the rest in storage"

"Oh thank God" she said with relief

"Starting with this thing what is it?" he said pointing at chaise lounge "It's not a bed or a seat…it's worthless"

"I love that"

"Well it doesn't go with the rest of the furniture"

Roxie looked around at her matching furniture and then back at Mark.

"All my furniture matches"

"Yeah it matches the couch and the ugly chair but it doesn't go with the leather one"

"Leather one?"

"Yeah mine from New York it's arriving tomorrow"

"You're getting rid of my furniture?"

"No just this the rest will go in the spare room"

"The spare room?"

"Yeah we'll make it into like a little office"

"Why can't your couch go in the spare room?"

"Because mines pottery barn" he said with a smile

Roxie could feel herself getting enraged and she couldn't let him see this as it was exactly what he wanted.

"I'm going to go and get some takeaway"

"Chinese" shouted Mark as Roxie closed the door behind her.

LATER

Roxie had made her way back to a temporarily Mark free zone and was making her way over to the nurses station. Derek looked up from his chart and saw Roxie he closed the chart and smiled at her.

"Aren't you finished for the day?" he asked

Roxie looked at Derek and nodded "I left the hospital and I went home…but I couldn't find it"

"You couldn't find your home?"

"No, I found the building, I found the door, my key even fitted but when I walked inside it wasn't there. Mark was there…but not my home. Mark and his stuff have taken over my home. I know he's only doing it to annoy me or prove a point or something and I am fully aware that he is still paying for his hotel room. I'm not an idiot but he's going way too far now but I can't let him see that he's bothering me"

"If you know he's only doing it to annoy you why are you letting it bother you?"

"He brought all his stuff from New York…all of it. I love Mark I do but I don't want him in my home whether it's a charade or the real deal. I have come from a huge family where I have absolutely no solitary space and I finally get some and he invades it"

"Don't you usually end up at yours with Mark?"

"Yeah but it's mine, he's a visitor and I can throw him out when I want. The things around us are mine the only thing that was Marks in 'my' home was Mark himself"

"So you don't want him to live with you?"

"No"

"Why were you trying to get him out of the hotel?"

"Because he's a hormonal teenager with a grown mans salary. He says he's staying there because he's got everything he needs there. The truth is he's staying there because he's not grown up enough to make roots. He won't commit to Seattle, if he can't buy a place here and have his own furniture and prepare his own meals…if he can't commit to a city…then there is no way he'll ever commit to me…and I don't want to waste my time and get too emotionally involved with a guy who is never going to want anything more than sex with me"

"I think you're already too emotionally involved" said Derek with a smile "As for Mark he thinks you're trying to move him in with you which is why he's being the housemate from hell. You two are so similar and neither one of you can see it. He doesn't want his space invaded either…if you explain this to him he probably would leave the hotel"

"He's an idiot" exclaimed Roxie

Derek laughed "He's in love and he doesn't want to rush and ruin it"

"He's told you this?"

"No but I know Mark better than anybody and he's a completely different man now"

"Yeah but is that an improvement?"

"I think so" smiled Derek

Roxie sighed and placed her head on the counter as Derek chuckled to himself at the behaviour of his best friend.

TUMBLEWEED ROLLS BY!! HELLO?? IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE?? PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!


	22. Chapter 22

Roxie was still avoiding Mark and his things as she roamed the halls of the hospital. She walked into the gallery overlooking OR 2 where she found Meredith sat alone. Although things were back to normal between herself and Derek, Meredith and Roxie had not spoken since the reconciliation. The two women sat in silence and Meredith looked over at Roxie, she knew she would eventually have to find a way to coincide with her since she was still friends with Derek and she was dating Derek's best friend.

"Stage three Esophageal Cancer" said Meredith breaking the ice as she informed an observing Roxie.

"Stage three?" she asked amazed "Esophagectomy is really the best first option?"

"Dr Bailey thought so"

"Any complications?"

"No, not up to this point and she's almost finished"

"Why aren't you in there?" she asked Meredith

"Not my patient"

"You just like to hang around the galleries?"

"You're meant to be at home and you're hiding out in the hospital"

Roxie looked at Meredith and smiled "Derek told you"

Meredith nodded "Maybe you should just go home and tell him what you told Derek"

"Mark only listens when it's what he wants to hear"

"Derek's right you two are alike. I can't believe that Mark Sloan has met his match"

"Am I that bad?"

"You and Sloan bring the best out in each other, that's rare…worth keeping so I wouldn't let it go"

"Does Derek not bring the best out in you?"

"He…makes me think. I've never had this with anybody before, its all new. He's had it before and he wants back what he had and more. He wants commitment, marriage, a house, children…"

"You don't want that?"

"I want a career"

"Your mother had both"

"My mother's marriage was a sham and my mother wasn't very maternal"

"My mother had seven kids before she was twenty five, then when the youngest were only three months, she left…walked out. My dad had to be and do everything, he worked himself into the ground and now he's extremely successful, yet while working himself into the ground he never stopped being a dad. He always made us breakfast, packed our lunches, did the school run and he was always there to eat dinner with us and put us all to bed. I look at it like this, if my dad can do all that whilst keeping his seven daughters happy and making a new family with his second wife…then there is nothing you can't do if you try hard enough. Marriage, commitment, kids…it doesn't necessarily mean the end of the world"

"Why did your marriage end?" asked Meredith

"Young, rebellious lust…not love…that did come later but it wasn't walk to the end of the earth, climb the highest mountain kind of love…it was just 'I enjoy your company love'. Eventually we bugged each other and the lust subsided and reality kicked in…and I left him…I wanted more. I didn't want to settle"

"I think Derek is the one for me but I'm just afraid I have the same destructive path as my mother and that I'll lose him or push him away"

"Isn't that what you're doing now?"

Meredith looked at Roxie and couldn't help but agree with her low blow.

LATER

Roxie had hidden out as long as she could at the hospital and was now waiting for the elevator to arrive at the ground floor. The doors opened and Roxie waited until her neighbours walked out of the elevator she then walked inside and pressed the button to her floor. Standing alone she wondered how she was going to diplomatically handle Mark. The doors opened and Roxie walked with a purpose to her apartment she unlocked the door and opened it ready to speak with Mark but she was surprised to see that all the boxes had gone. She walked into the centre of the room and looked around her for any sign of Mark but there was nothing. She couldn't understand where he'd gone and what had happened to his things. Out the corner of her eye she spotted a folded piece of paper with her name on rested against the lamp on her end table. She picked up the note, unfolded it and proceeded to read it.

Rox,

I could see you weren't too impressed by the idea of me moving my stuff in so I felt it was best that I moved out completely.

Mark

Roxie couldn't help but feel a little sad as she'd never had a problem with Mark being there just his stuff. Just then a knock came at the door and Roxie went to answer it she was stunned to see Mark stood before her with a cup in his hand.

"Hi I'm Mark I've just moved in…" he said pointing at the door next to Roxie's "I was just wondering could you give me a little sugar?" he said with a devilish smile

"You've moved in next door?"

"Temporarily"

"Temporarily?" asked Roxie with confusion

"Well I figured we'd sit down and plan it out before we called in the workmen"

"Plan what?"

"'Our' new apartment"

"Our apartment?"

"Yeah we both like our independence and we both like our own space and if we knock through to the next apartment we can still have our own space but move to the next stage in our relationship"

"You're serious about moving in together?"

"Can I come in?" asked Mark still stood in the corridor. Roxie let Mark in and he closed the door behind him "I know this is a big step but it's a step I want to take with you. This is why we're going to talk this through I don't want to rush you into anything"

Roxie's head was spinning she couldn't take it all in, the once womanising Mark Sloan was stood before her devoting himself to her and asking her to move in with him and make a home for them both. Mark continued to plead his case to Roxie and she had to find a way to shut him up and the only sure-fire way she knew was to lure him to the bedroom. Roxie quickly kissed him and Marks words turned into mumbles as he became enveloped by the kiss he wrapped his arms around her waist and then swiftly lifted her in his arms carrying her to the bedroom…Mark's lips were no longer being used to persuade Roxie to change her entire life.

A FEW DAYS LATER

Roxie walked out of the bathroom and stood staring into oblivion.

"Dr Leoni" shouted Stevens as she approached her. Roxie snapped out of her daze and focused on Stevens. "Mrs Penrose is wondering when we can get her on the board and I was just wondering when was best for you so I can get back to her and tell her" Roxie didn't reply to Stevens "Dr Leoni?"

"I don't know Stevens just tell her she isn't emergent and there are patients who take priority over her" with that Roxie walked away pushing past the people in her way.

LATER

Roxie found herself watching Skye and Chan as they showed the entire hospital just how in love they really were, Skye's devotion apparent as she had stayed by Chan's bedside from day one and Chan's admiration as he held her hand tight and smiled lovingly at his beau. Skye looked over her shoulder and saw Roxie she then kissed Chan and left the room. Roxie turned to the nurse's station as her friend approached.

"You look happy" said Roxie to her friend

"I am" she said with a beaming smile

"Good I'm glad" the two women stood in complete silence staring at the counter top.

"I'm engaged" exclaimed Skye

"I'm pregnant" replied Roxie, her friend looked at her with astonishment

"Pregnant?"

"Pregnant, I…" Roxie tried to finish her sentence unable to find the words

"I thought I had the big news"

Roxie looked at her friend and felt guilty she hadn't wanted to steal her thunder "It is big news and I'm really happy for you. I'm sorry Skye it's just, I just found out…I haven't quite taken it in yet"

"What are you going to do?"

"As far as the babies concerned…have it…I don't believe in terminations. As far as Mark goes…I have no idea. He bought the apartment next to mine, he's talking about knocking through and making one huge apartment for us…then this…its all…too much too soon…I feel like I'm suffocating"

"You need to speak to Mark"

"I will but I just need to come to terms with it myself first. Lets face it Marks not father material…I need to seriously think about this"

"He might surprise you. He's surprised a lot of people by getting this far with you"

"It hasn't been easy though, this time there's a baby"

"Talk to him Rox" advised her friend

Roxie's head spun as she tried to accept the fact she was pregnant and that she had to talk to Mark about it, unsure about his capabilities to look after someone other than himself.

LATER

Roxie sat in the waiting room biting her nails and staring into space the days revelation still spiralling inside her head. She soon became aware that she wasn't alone and she looked to her left to see Derek slumped in the chair next to her she knew he was going to ask her if she was ok and she honestly didn't know how she would reply to him.

"I haven't seen Mark today?"

"He's putting the finishing touches to the apartment" replied Roxie

"Are you ok?" he asked the inevitable

Roxie paused for a moment and realised that although she trusted Skye with her secrets there was no one who knew Mark better than Derek.

"I'm pregnant" she blurted out "I don't know what to do, I don't know how to tell him. I know I have to but how? I'm not even afraid that he'll run a mile once he hears it I'm more afraid that he'll want the kid"

"Why?"

"He doesn't exactly scream father material does he?"

Derek smiled at Roxie who he could see needed comfort and encouragement.

"Mark Sloan six months ago I wouldn't have given him the responsibility of looking after a pen, but the Mark Sloan he's become since you came on the scene, that guy is capable of anything…he may even be capable of raising a child"

"I can't bring a child into the world in hopes that he'll be a good father"

"That's all anybody ever does. No one knows that they're going to be a good parent. They take a great risk when a having a child, some of them are amazing parents, some aren't so amazing. Even if Mark struggles with parenthood, you won't…you've already done it with your sisters…you can help him. Like with everything practice makes perfect"

"He doesn't even show any fatherly instincts, have you ever seen him cooing over the babies in paeds? Has he ever mentioned wanting kids?"

"Like I said he's a changed man"

"Yeah but that doesn't mean he wants kids" replied Roxie standing up and walking away

Derek stayed seated and watched Roxie walk away he nervously wiped his mouth and sighed.

AT CHANS ROOM

Skye returned to the room carrying a coffee in her hand she kissed Chan on the lips and sat down beside him in a chair. Chan stared at Skye as she took a sip from her coffee cup and placed it down on the side.

"So I've spoken to Roxie about the ventilation and she said that she would stop by and check on your progress, she seems optimistic and maybe she'll take you off the ventilator and you can start practicing your breathing…"

Chan pulled down the facemask and took Skye's hand "Marry me?"

"I already proposed remember…well I hope you do because you said yes and you're not worming your way out of it"

"No…marry me…now"

Skye looked at Chan dumbfounded and placed the mask back on Chan's face.

"You leave that on"

"Skyler marry me?"

"Right now?"

"Not this minute…"

"Your meds are kicking in"

"No, I want to marry you"

"No…no…you're not going to do this Chan. You're a doctor if you don't have faith in medicine and your fellow colleagues then we're obviously not doing our jobs right. I will marry you the same day you're discharged and walk out of this hospital not before"

"Skye…"

"No Chan…you can't think like that" Skye couldn't control herself and she stormed out of the room running into an approaching Roxie.

"Skye?" called Roxie after her friend. She proceeded to Chan's room where she found him staring up at the ceiling. "What's wrong with her?" asked Roxie

Chan looked at Roxie and lowered his mask "She won't face reality"

"What reality is that exactly?"

"Rox I'm not going to get better, you know it, they all know it"

"Why aren't you getting better? Did you contract some killer bug while I was out of the room?"

"I have a perforated lung, flail chest, one kidney…even if I can survive the healing process…chances of me catching pneumonia are high and I don't have the strength to fight that too"

"You're giving up?"

"I'm facing facts" he said breathlessly putting the mask back on his face the pain apparent in his tired eyes.

"Your breathing has improved, the flail segments are healing, slowly I know but still healing and you can survive with one kidney. Chan I know you're in pain and that light at the end of the tunnel looks so far away but you'll get there and when you're fully recovered and charging through these corridors like you own the place…you'll be thanking all these doctors who have helped you"

"Shepherd…"

"Is happy with your progress and has no reason to suspect any further complications. Now stop! You have an amazing woman out there who has sat by your side throughout waiting for the day she can take you home and you're giving up right in front of her you're giving up and if you do so will she. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and look at what you have to fight for, even if you were at deaths door, which you're not…she alone is reason enough to fight for your life"

A Little While Later

Roxie was checking Chan's progress when the door opened and Skye walked in. She looked over at Chan who smiled at her and removed the mask.

"Six months"

"What?" she asked

"Six months from today I want to marry you. I want to be fully recovered and stronger before I marry you"

Skye smiled as she realised Chan was no longer giving up hope. Roxie put the stethoscope around her neck and smiled at Chan.

"Everything's good, breathing is fine, ribs are healing nicely, urine output…excellent. Derek claims you're still ok in the head…I'd get a second opinion personally" Skye laughed at Roxie's humour "Everything's good"

"The vent?" asked Skye

"Not just yet, not because you're not ready I do believe you can breathe some what comfortably on your own with the assist of nasal cannula but I just want to see the improvement over the next day or two to see if this isn't rushed"

"Ok that's ok right babe you can handle a few more days?"

"Yeah" he agreed reluctantly desperate to get rid of the ventilator

A FEW DAYS LATER

Roxie was in Chan's room with Skye and a happy Chan as she attached the nasal cannula. She stepped back and smiled.

"Gorgeous"

"Thanks" said Chan

"Don't worry bout it. I'll leave you two in peace…you're not my only patient"

Chan smiled as Roxie left the room she looked back to see Skye kissing Chan. She wondered if after telling Mark about the baby if they would still be like that. She proceeded down the corridor and was greeted by an overwhelmed Mark who was holding baby Tuck in his arms. As she approached she couldn't help but envision him holding their own baby. Roxie smiled and said hello to Tuck.

"Hey there cutie"

"You've got to help me" pleaded Mark

"What are you doing with Baileys baby?"

"She dumped him on me, she had a trauma and I've been left holding the baby…" Mark scrunched up his face as he realised what he'd said

"Literally" replied Roxie

"You have to take him"

"Excuse me?"

"I have things to do"

"Oh what and I'm just strolling the hallways to kill time?"

"Ok alright lets take it in turns…I've had my turn now its yours"

"Mark…"

"Yeah"

"Bailey gave Tuck to you, she trusts you to look after Tuck. Miranda…Bailey…the nazi, she trusted you…Mark 'McSteamy' Sloan with her only child. How do you think she is going to feel when she comes out of the OR and finds out that you have handed her child over to somebody else, somebody she didn't hand pick?"

"He keeps crying"

"Babe he's not crying now, you're obviously doing a great job. He looks happy and you know deep down you're loving it" Roxie kissed Mark and walked away leaving him to deal with baby Tuck.

LATER

Roxie had been searching all over for Mark and as she was walking past the lounge she spotted him. She turned back and walked into the lounge to see him laid out on the couch with Tuck rested on his chest fast asleep. Roxie leant against the door frame and smiled as she liked the sight of him with a baby and was proud of him for persevering and making it through the day. As Roxie stood and admired her man and the sight before her she was joined by Bailey. Roxie looked at Bailey as Bailey looked at Mark and Tuck.

"Hows the patient?"

"Critical it's just a waiting game now. Hows your boyfriend? More to the point hows my son?"

"I think they tired each other out"

"I expected him to find some doe eyed nurse to take Tuck off his hands"

"Though he'll never admit it, I think he enjoyed it"

Bailey walked over and carefully picked up Tuck without disturbing either one. She walked back over to Roxie who stroked a sleeping Tuck's head wondering to herself how hers and Marks child would look and if they could handle the newcomer.

"You really have worked your magic on him, I'll admit I didn't think Mark Sloan could change, yet he has" Bailey looked over at Mark and then back at Roxie "He'll be a great father, you can trust him" Roxie looked stunned as Bailey knew her secret

"Who…"

Bailey shook her head "I'm Bailey I know everything, now its his turn to know"

Bailey walked out carrying Tuck in her arms leaving Roxie behind wondering how she was going to break the news to Mark. She decided she had to do the bandaid approach and get it over with. She sat down next to Mark and softly brought him out of his slumber.

"Mark wake up" Mark woke up and looked around for Tuck as he sat up "Bailey took him"

"Ok" said a disorientated Mark

"I need to talk to you"

"About what?" he said as he began to wake up

"I just have to blurt it out because if I don't I'll talk myself out of it"

"Ok" he said curiously

"I'm pregnant!" she exclaimed

Marks eyes widened as he took in the news. He sat silent for a moment and stared at Roxie.

"You're pregnant?" Roxie nodded "We're having a baby, I'm going to be a dad" said Mark to himself "Do you want this?" he asked

Roxie hestited worried that this may scare him away "I want it all" she said gripping his hand "I want you, the apartment, the baby but I want you to want this. I don't want you to feel obligated I want you to want this"

"I have to admit a baby wasn't in my immediate plans…" Roxie couldn't take her eyes off him she looked at him trying to figure out from his emotions how he felt about the pregnancy but she couldn't read him. He then looked directly at her and smiled. "…but I love you and this wasn't planned but it's a little me and you how bad can it be?" he said with a smile

Mark took Roxie in his arms and hugged her tight assuring her that things would be fine and they'd get through it.

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW JUST WONDERING IF ANYONES READING THIS FIC ANYMORE!! THANKS!


	23. Chapter 23

THE NEXT MORNING

Roxie walked into the bathroom where Mark was getting ready to go to the hospital she looked at his reflection in the mirror as he shaved. Mark spotted her stood behind him at the door staring at him.

"Morning" he said with a smile momentarily pausing

"I told Skye"

"I expected you would"

"And Derek" she admitted

"You told 'my' best friend?" he said speaking to her reflection

"I was worried how you would take it I needed to speak to someone who knew the real you"

"Ok…" he said a little miffed he couldn't break the news to his friend but he wasn't bothered enough to make a big deal about it. He proceeded to shave.

"And Bailey knows" she blurted out

Mark stopped shaving once again this time turning to Roxie.

"Was I the last to know?"

"I didn't tell Bailey she just knew I swear"

"You know we can't keep this to ourselves now? Skye will tell Chan and Derek will tell Meredith and then Meredith's friends will know"

"I didn't want to keep it a secret"

"It would have been nice to enjoy it for a little while by ourselves"

"Yeah it would have but maybe its better like this…out in the open"

Mark sighed and turned to finish shaving, Roxie could see he was upset and she approached him and placed her arms around his waist and rested her head against his back.

"You know they're going to pick us apart individually, then our relationship?" informed Mark

"They do that now"

"God I hope we're ready for this" said Mark confessing his worries. Roxie squeezed Mark tighter comforting him the best she could.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie was stood at the nurse's station and she could see that people were talking about her and the news circling the hospital about herself and Mark. As she was watching her colleagues she was approached by Skye she turned to her friend and noticed the lab coat.

"You're back?" asked Roxie stunned to see her friend back at work

"Yeah I'm driving myself and Chan crazy sitting there 24/7 so I figure I'll come back to work and spend my off time with Chan"

"Nice to have you back"

"Thank you. So…"

"I told him and he's fine with it apparently some of our colleagues have issues with it" said Roxie directing her comments towards two nurse's who were staring holes into her flesh

"Are you happy?" asked Skye

"Yeah"

"That's all that matters then, let people talk, as long as you and Mark are happy what does it matter?" she asked rhetorically

Roxie sighed "I know! I don't know whether I'm paranoid or it's actually happening but I feel like I'm being compared to something or someone"

"What do you mean?" asked her baffled friend

"Like the news of the pregnancy isn't the main subject of interest but like they're talking about me in comparison to something else…it's weird"

"Addison!" said a stunned Skye looking over her friend's shoulder at an approaching Addison Montgomery. Roxie turned around to see the tall and talented beauty approaching.

"Skye nice to see you again" she said hugging Skye

"You to" replied Skye pulling away and looking in awe "Are you back?"

"No, I have a special case, it's a one off…back to LA as soon as possible"

"So you're enjoying it there?"

"It's different…but yes"

"Excellent" said an awkward Skye not quite how sure to bring Roxie into the conversation. Addison looked at Roxie and smiled waiting for Skye to do the introductions.

"Addison" she said growing tired and extending her hand

"Roxie" she said taking her hand

"I used to be the head of OB"

"I've heard about you. I'm the new head of general"

"Wow that's amazing, well forget I said back to LA ASAP this is a great place to work. Anyway I should get going and check on my 'one off' patient"

"Ok well I'll catch up with you later"

"Definitely we'll have lunch…Joes?"

"Yeah that's perfect"

"Roxie you should join us" said Addison extending an invite

"I'll check my schedule" she replied with a huge false smile plastered on her face

As Addison walked away the fake smile disappeared from Roxie's face as she looked at her friend.

"You're friends with Addison? You didn't think that was worth mentioning to her ex boyfriends…lovers, new girlfriend?"

"I didn't think she'd be coming back"

"Was that Addison?" asked Mark as he approached the two women looking down the corridor in Addison's direction

"She's here for a one off case" replied Skye

"And you just met her?" he asked Roxie

"Yeah…she has no idea who I am…in fact she invited me to lunch, it should be fun"

"You're going to have lunch with Addison?"

"Yeah"

"Ok" replied Mark with amazement that his current, newly pregnant girlfriend would be dining with his ex "I have to go and do…something" he lied to get away from the uncomfortable moment

"You're going to lunch with Addison?" asked Skye

"No! I can't go to lunch with her…can I?"

"They're not together anymore and she wasn't even here when you arrived at Seattle Grace"

"Still it's weird…no I can't" she said trying to talk herself out of the impending lunch date

A Little While Later

Mark waited outside the room for Addison to appear. She walked out and smiled as she saw Mark smiling at her.

"Mark, great to see you" said the newly positive Addison as she approached him and hugged him

"We're hugging?" asked Mark

"I hug now, it's an LA thing"

"Ok, err…I was hoping we could talk"

"About what?"

"I think I should fill you in on a few things, a lot has changed since you were last here"

"Such as?"

Mark hesitated for a moment "Like err…Torres and O'Malley are getting a divorce…" he said trying to avoid telling her about him and Roxie

"Really?"

"I'm dating…" blurted out Mark whilst Addison was distracted by the Torres/O'Malley news

Addison looked at Mark and smiled "Dating? I wouldn't call what you do dating" she mocked

"No, I'm dating, one girl…I'm a one woman man now, she's amazing…" Addison stood stunned and Mark felt he had to fill the silence "…we're moving in together…and having a baby"

"Ooh" replied Addison almost choking with astonishment at the reformed character in front of her

"She's perfect for me, she doesn't take my crap…she's strong willed and very patient…she'd have to be to put up with me right?"

"You're going to be a dad?" she said trying to retrieve more information subtly

"Yeah…we just found out. I wanted to tell you before somebody else did"

"Do I know her? I mean is she one of the nurse's or something?"

"She's not a nurse and you don't really know although you have met her"

Addison put two and two together and her mouth opened wide as she realised "The doctor with Skye, the head of gen…she's your…and she's having your…and you two are…oh"

"Her names Roxie"

"I know I introduced myself…in fact we're going to lunch. Does she know about…"

"Yeah"

"And does she know about the…" said Addison referring to the baby she had terminated

"I haven't…no she doesn't"

"Ok…I need to go and do stuff" said Addison trying to get away from the conversation "I'm guna go" she said turning and walking away as Mark watched her leave

ELSEWHERE

Roxie stood outside a room and was soon joined by Skye who was doing her rounds.

"Why is he with me?" asked Roxie to a very busy Skye who just looked back at her with confusion

"What?"

"Well he was with her and he said she was the one"

"Derek said that, Mark never said that to you"

"Yeah but still…"

"Where are you going with this?"

"She's tall, incredibly talented, dignified, sophisticated…she's a ten and I'm short, winging it day by day, inappropriate and adolescent why would he go from her to me?"

"It didn't work with her, they weren't meant to be"

"So what you're saying is he wants to be with the beautiful, amazing and elegant Addison Montgomery but because it didn't work he's stuck with the mouthy, opinionated and naïve, knocked up New Yorker?"

"Roxie you know it's not like that. It didn't work with Addison because he wouldn't make the sacrifices to be with her because it wasn't meant to be, he made those sacrifices for you because he loves you, Mark Sloan is a completely different guy because he changed for you, to be with you"

Roxie knew Skye was right but she couldn't help but feel threatened by Addison's presence in the hospital. 'What ifs' invaded her head and it was hard to get them out.

LATER IN THE GALLERY ABOVE OR 1

Roxie walked into the gallery and stopped dead on the spot as she spotted Addison sat watching Mark in surgery. Roxie slowly turned to leave but was spotted by Addison.

"Roxie"

Roxie turned back to Addison and smiled

"Addison I didn't see you there" she lied

"Yes you did, don't worry he told me" Roxie dropped her act and looked at Addison "Congratulations on…" she said pointing to Roxie's stomach "Please sit down, join me"

Roxie hesitantly sat down by Addison and looked down at Mark who for a moment looked up and saw the two women together. The tension was palpable between the two women and Addison exhaled loudly.

"Was it serious?" asked Roxie needing to know

"Was what serious?" asked Addison

"You and Mark?"

"No…it was complicated. I was lonely, my marriage wasn't working and he was there. I tried to kid myself that I hadn't thrown my marriage away for a quick fumble but the truth is there was nothing there. Both of us knew, we tried for two months after Derek left New York and for two months he cheated on me, with woman after woman"

Roxie looked at Addison and could see she was telling her the truth and not just trying to say the right thing.

"He cheated on me too" Addison looked at Roxie with shock

"He cheated on you?"

"With Hahn, things were…complicated" she said stealing Addison's own words

"You forgave him?"

"I slept with Derek"

Addison's jaw dropped at the revelation "Derek?" Addison laughed to herself as she realised that Meredith had, had to deal with the same thing she had put Addison through

"I didn't cheat on him really we weren't together at that point but because it was Derek…"

"…It was betrayal regardless?" Addison finished the sentence

"We're good now though, something shifted and it got easier and without even trying things are falling into place…it's almost effortless now"

"Well that's good" replied Addison with a smile happy that Mark had moved on and found happiness with such a nice person "Skye assures me that he's met his match with you, it's about time"

"Everyone keeps saying that to me, I just hope these new changes in him help him when this baby comes along, the old Mark I couldn't have seen him bottle feeding a baby at two in the morning or changing diapers…"

"…I think he might surprise you. I know he has it in him…he was just waiting for the right girl…you…to bring it out of him"

"Thank you for making this incredibly uncomfortable situation so easy"

"Don't worry about it…I'm just sorry we didn't do this before lunch…maybe you can meet me for a drink at Joe's…non alcoholic of course"

"Deal" said Roxie standing up "I'm going to find some interns to torture"

"Have fun!" said Addison as Roxie walked away

LATER AT JOE'S

Roxie walked into Joe's and saw Addison and Skye sat at a table she made her way over and sat down.

"We thought you'd forgotten" said Skye remarking on Roxie's tardiness

"Sorry patients"

"Here you go" said Joe approaching the table and placing a cocktail down in front of Roxie "and congratulations" he said kissing Roxie on the cheek

"Thanks Joe" Roxie looked at the cocktail in front of her

"It's a virgin cocktail" Addison assured her "But we're celebrating so you needed something better than club soda" Roxie smiled "So here is to you, Mark and the little Sloan you're baring…to happiness…to friends…to…new beginnings" toasted a happy and tranquil Addison

"To new beginnings" said the girls in unison clinking their glasses

As the girls toasted Derek and Mark arrived and approached the table. Addison watched as Mark kissed Roxie, she could see the love he had for her and to see that made her happy.

A Little While Later

Addison was at the bar taking care of her tab and placing some money behind the bar for her friends before she departed. Mark approached her at the bar and the duo looked at each other and smiled.

"Congratulations" said Addison sincerely

"Thank you"

"Wow you have changed this would be the part where you hit on me"

Mark looked over at Roxie "I'm sorry it wasn't you" Addison looked at him a little bewildered "I don't mean I wish it wasn't Rox…it's just I'm sorry I hurt you, that I caused you so much heartache with Derek and…our attempt"

"Don't be…what doesn't kill you, can only make you stronger…and it did…you and Derek…and Meredith have made me rock solid. I'm happy now, I'm less naïve and ready to take on anything"

"Well I'm glad I could help"

Addison looked at Roxie "She's an amazing woman and she loves you so much"

"I know and I love her too"

"Good because if I find out you've hurt her I'll be on the next plane back here to smack you"

"It won't happen" he said assuring her with a smile

Addison could see the sincerity and love in his eyes and smiled at him.

"I want a picture of the baby"

"Ok"

"Right I have a flight to catch so…" she stared at the reformed character before her "Goodbye Mark" she said walking away and back to the table where she said goodbye to her ex husband and her friends.

The group watched as Addison left, although she was missed by many they had moved on and things were so different now. They had been through so much since Addison had left, divorces, romances, smiles, woes, transformations in themselves and their relationships…and many new beginnings…the group had evolved and grown…nothing would be the same again and instead of looking back and reminiscing they were finally looking forward at what was yet to come, marriage, children… and happily ever afters for all.

Mark approached Roxie from behind and placed his drink down on the table he placed his hand on her stomach Roxie turned and smiled at Mark who moved in and kissed her softly.

A WEEK LATER

Derek walked into Chan's room where he and a visiting Skye were sat discussing their wedding in an attempt to keep Chan's mind off of the gruelling recovery he had ahead.

"Morning guys" said Derek with a smile as he placed the chart down on the end of the bed and approached Chan and checked his pupils. "You're pupils are slightly dilated are you feeling ok?"

"Not really I've been getting the most excruciating headaches and because they're so bad I can't sleep so I have headache and sleep deprivation"

"Why didn't you tell anybody?" asked a concerned Skye

"Because it's a headache"

"Don't worry about it, it's common with suffering a subarachnoid haemorrhage as is insomnia. I'll prescribe some Vicodin for the pain and Ambien as a sleep aid"

"Thanks"

"I'm sure you'll feel better soon and if the headaches don't ease off it's still nothing to worry about but the sleep you'll be getting will help decrease the tension of the headache. Is there anything else I need to know?"

"No that's it"

"Ok well everything seems fine you're making good progress. I'll come back and check you later"

Derek walked out of the room leaving Skye and Chan alone once more.

"You should have told somebody sooner Chan. You had brain surgery did you not think severe headaches were something worth mentioning?"

"You heard Derek they're not…"

"You didn't know that!" screamed Skye "If you don't tell people what is happening then we can't help you. What if that had been serious?"

"Ok…I'm sorry. I should have told Derek sooner…and if anything else occurs I won't hesitate…I'm sorry babe" he taking her hand and smiling. Skye smiled back and kissed him.

The couple were then interrupted by Roxie who entered the room with a smile on her face as she saw the happy couple.

"I hear congratulations is in order?" asked Chan referring to her pregnancy

"I have no privacy but thank you"

"So what can we do for you doc?" joked Chan

"You can sign this consent form to take you into the OR" she said holding it for him to see

"Surgery? For what?" asked a concerned Skye

"When he was in the OR last he was too weak and critical to perform this procedure but he's a lot stronger and his progress his amazing. The thoracic cage is stabilised and the your pulmonary function is vastly improved so I think it's time"

"For what?"

The door opened and Mark walked in to join the trio within the room.

"We need to operate to stabilise the anterior chest wall" replied Roxie

"Recon plates?" asked Chan

"Bone grafting" replied Mark

"Ok" replied an uncertain Chan who worried of the complications that could accompany the surgery and prolong his recovery

"It needs to be done so I'll be taking you down this afternoon ok?" asked Mark

"You're doing the surgery?" asked Skye

"Apart from you Mark has the most experience with this"

"Apart from me? Then why am I not scrubbing in?"

"Skye you know you can't do that" replied Roxie

"It's best for the patient"

"Who just happens to be you're fiancée"

"Skye I'm good at what I do I can handle this" assured Mark but Skye remained sceptical

Chan signed the consent form and handed it back to Roxie and looked over at them.

"I can sit up after this right?" he asked

"We can elevate you slightly there won't be any running around the corridors but you won't be having deep and meaningful conversations with the ceiling any longer" replied Roxie

"Ok well lets get it done"

"I'll get it on the board" said Mark before he and Roxie left the room leaving the couple together once more.


	24. Chapter 24

LATER IN THE OR

Mark and Roxie were in the OR working on the anterior chest wall as Skye stood overhead in the gallery observing.

"There's nothing like pressure is there?" remarked Sloan

"What do you mean?" asked Roxie

"Can't you feel her eyes burning a hole in the back of your head?" he asked referring to a hovering Skye

"She's just worried about him"

"She doesn't trust me"

"If I were laid there you'd want to be in the OR too…you wouldn't trust anybody but yourself to do the job not because you don't trust the other surgeons but because it's someone you love on the table…she just started feeling calm after all the chaos from the accident and now he's back in here and they're both worried that it's going to set him back"

"Are you a surgeon or a therapist?" Mark joked

"I'm worldly and experienced"

"No argument there" replied Mark, Roxie could see the devilish look in his eyes and shook her head

The duo continued to work on Chan and successfully stabilised the anterior chest wall and returned Chan to recovery.

IN THE ON CALL ROOM

Alex collapsed to the side of Ryan and smiled as she rolled over and began to kiss him seductively.

"I have to get back to work" said Alex

"I know" relented Ryan as she stopped kissing him and rested herself on his chest

Alex was confused by Ryan's sudden surrender as she'd never been defeated previously with her seduction.

"Are you ok?"

"I feel like a hooker"

"Oh what?" replied Alex smelling the argument in the air

"I come to the hospital to get my kicks and then I'm sent home when you've had yours. Do you know what I do all day?" she asked sitting up and looking back at Alex

"No"

"I wake up, if I'm at yours I go home and I spend all morning getting ready to come here, then I go back home and I wait for you to come off shift. My life at this point revolves around you"

"Then do something about it"

Ryan exhaled with disgust and stood up collecting her things and getting ready to leave. Alex shook his head and sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on his scrubs.

"I should go"

"Ryan all I meant was do something to fill up the day, get a hobby or a job"

Ryan stopped in her tracks and looked at Alex she knew he was right but couldn't help but feel disgusted by Alex's abrupt answer.

"I just want to feel like I don't work around you and that you're just this great guy I have as apart of my life not the purpose of my life"

"What do you want from me?" asked a confused Alex

"I…I just want…something to tell me that I have more going on in life than sordid moments in the on call"

Ryan walked out the on call room in a frustrated motion. Skye spotted her sister and called out after her.

"Ryan!! Ry!!" but she was ignored by her sister and approached by Alex

"Don't bother she's in a mood"

"What did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything!" snarled Alex "She's bored of her routine and I suggested a hobby or a job and now she's in mood"

With nothing said Skye walked away and made her way to Chan's room to sit with him a while before she went home for the night.

"Hi" said Skye as she walked in to see Sloan, Shepherd, Torres and Leoni. "Is everything ok?"

"Yes we're just giving Chan a run down on his condition and progress" replied Derek "Ok so as I was saying after further tests I am happy to tell you that you're recovery is going fantastic, I know we have the headaches but that is just a simple side affect it will go away and until then I have prescribed vicodin for the pain which I will leave you to administer at your own pace you know the drill with that, use it sparingly and I have put Ambien on your routine to help with the insomnia for a two week period this will hopefully help with the headaches and will make you less lethargic"

Derek smiled at Chan and at Skye assuring them both he then looked at Mark who looked at Skye knowing that even though the surgery was a success she was still silently judging him.

"The surgery went ahead with no complications and after a slight rest period you will be ready to begin respiratory therapy for an initial six month period, at the end of this period you'll be reassessed but with your recovery rate I'm very optimistic"

"And my ankle?"

"It's a simple fracture you'll need to keep the cast on for six to eight weeks after that you will be sent to physio to build the strength back up in your leg, however due to the respiratory situation you have to realise that it's not going to be a simple course of physio it's going to be long and gruelling and there are going to be periods over the next few months where you have set backs because of the respiratory situation"

"I'm prepared for that Dr Torres"

"I'm just making sure you're expectations aren't too high" Dr Torres was then paged and excused herself from the room

"She's right" stated Mark "The respiratory situation is going to drag out the physio and you're going to have to know your limits and not push yourself beyond them"

"I know all of this I just want to know when I can get started with my recovery"

"Give it a few weeks before respiratory therapy then by the time the cast comes off you may be able to handle the physio. You're urine output is sufficient which mean the kidneys going strong which would be a worry if it wasn't but so far so good" replied Roxie

The doctors cleared the room and left Chan alone with Skye Chan sighed with frustration and Skye stroked his head.

"I know you just want to get on with the therapy and this is frustrating but we're all on your side and those guys are just trying to make sure you don't have any set backs. You just need to take your pain pills and relax, get a good nights sleep…tomorrow may seem brighter, don't let this get you down ok"

"Can you pass me my water?" asked Chan

Skye handed him the glass of water and he took his vicodin and placed the pill bottle and water next to him. Skye smiled at him and kissed him softly on the head.

"I'll leave you to relax. They'll be bringing in your sleeping pill soon anyway. I'll be back in the morning"

Chan didn't reply and Skye knew the whole ordeal was infuriating an impatient and determined Chan to his core. Skye collected her things off the chair and walked out of the room she looked back over her shoulder to see a saddened and crushed Chan close his eyes and she hoped that after some pain relief and a good nights sleep his spirits may be lifted.

THE NEXT DAY

Alex walked up the path to Ryan's front door he rang the bell and waited patiently and anxiously not sure what to expect from Ryan. The door opened and Ryan stared at Alex.

"I don't know what to do" admitted Alex "I thought you were happy with the set up I didn't know you were this upset"

"I'm not upset I'm just...it doesn't matter"

"It does matter" said Alex stepping forward and putting his arms around her waist. "I want you to move in with me" Alex blurted out catching Ryan off guard.

"What?" asked a stunned Ryan

"If we're living together then there's no waiting around for me to come off shift wondering what the plans are that night or day, I'll be coming home to you everyday"

"Yeah but I'm still sat around waiting"

"I can't help that that's all you. You have to make a decision and change in your life"

"Move in to Meredith Grey's house" said Ryan aloud she began shaking her head "No, I can't do that. I'm not one of them I can't live with your friends…but you could move in here"

"Skye would love that"

"Skye's not here, she's working at the hospital, then visiting Chan at the hospital, she comes home like once every three days to get fresh supplies. When Chan comes out of hospital it will make more sense for them to go to his apartment rather than this house. It'll be just the two of us"

"That's what you want?"

"Don't you?"

"I've never lived with a girlfriend before"

"First time for everything"

Without hesitation Alex replied "Lets do it!"

Ryan smiled and kissed Alex passionately and dragged him inside their new home.

AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie walked out of the bathroom looking worse for wear she closed her eyes and sighed and Mark spotted her and walked down the corridor towards her she opened her eyes in time to see Mark approach.

"Morning sickness?" he asked looking at an exhausted Roxie

"Yep"

"Poor babe" he said kissing her forehead "Drink plenty of water and go get something to ease it. I have to go I'm on my way to surgery. I'll see you later"

"Yeah"

Mark walked away to go to surgery and Roxie stood watching him suddenly she felt the urge to vomit and ran back into the bathroom.

LATER

Meredith and Cristina sat in the cafeteria discussing all the hospital gossip.

"I can't believe that Dr Tatum is making such great progress"

"He has something to fight for" replied Meredith recalling her own fight for survival "When you have something to fight for you're body performs miracles"

"Oh the marriage…you know that was just a charade because they both thought he was a goner"

"Cristina!"

"Oh come on he got hit by a car trying to get back to the hospital to find McKenzie after an argument they had…then he gets rolled in here circling the drain and she proposes to him. I'm sorry but it was an action of guilt and now he's improving she realises she's got to marry him still…you wait in the next few weeks she's going to find a way out of it"

"I can't believe you're saying that"

Just then Skye and Roxie walked into the cafeteria and Meredith and Cristina spied them

"Watch this space that's all I'm saying"

"They love each other"

"Yeah as much as Sloan loves McBitch"

"So all the happy people in this hospital are faking as far as you're concerned?"

"Oh come on Meredith…they have done nothing but argue, cheat and lie to each other since they started dating and now she's just suddenly pregnant. She's trying to trap him and he's dumb enough to fall for it and honestly I didn't think he would I thought he'd be smart about it and run"

"You fell pregnant by accident"

"Yes I did but she didn't I'm telling you it's all a plan. Look at the poor guy he is nothing like the Mark Sloan we loathe he's a completely different guy and it's down to her subtle manipulations"

"You're either very lonely or clinically insane"

"Or the only person in the hospital who isn't walking around with their eyes closed and head in the clouds"

"Ok then oh wise one and what is your opinion on Derek and I?"

Cristina hesitated "No comment"

"Good afternoon ladies" said Alex as he sat down

"Oh my God what's wrong with you?" snarled Cristina at yet another gleeful face surrounding her

"Just a good day to be alive Yang"

"Oh God the whole worlds gone crazy"

"What's her problem?" Alex asked Meredith

"She's bitter"

"I am not bitter! I'm just surrounded by lovesick morons who believe that they're all going to live happily ever after. This isn't a fairytale this is reality, this is Seattle and this is a hospital…actual proof that life sucks and no one lives happily ever after not even the really good God fearing people who have never sinned in their lives. People believe we all have our own destiny the truth is we all have the same destiny…death…and it's your decision how you entertain yourself before the inevitable but just because I don't choose to entertain myself with ridiculous and nauseating actions doesn't mean that I am bitter it means that I am smarter…smarter than you all. Meredith you think I'm clinically insane? I'm sorry to break this to you but I am the only sane one here" with that Cristina walked away from the table and Meredith and Alex smiled at the outrageous reaction from Yang

"So how are things with you and Ryan?" asked Meredith sincerely

"Good I think"

"You think?"

"Well I think they're going great but yesterday we had a little argument because Ryan didn't think they were"

"So trouble in paradise then?"

"No we sorted it this morning and actually I kind of need to talk to you about it. You see we decided we're going to live together…at Ryan's house"

"You're moving out?" asked a stunned Meredith

"Yeah is that ok?"

"Yeah of course it is…I can't stop you from moving out and I hope you and Ryan are happy together"

"I think we might be" smiled Alex as he spoke of his future with Ryan

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Ryan stopped as she spotted her sister she knew she had to tell her about Alex moving in but she couldn't predict what the response was going to be. Before Chan's accident she could have put money on the fact she'd hit the roof but the new and tranquil Skye who was trying to help ease Chan's recovery was a whole new story and she didn't know which was worse…the old angry Skye or the new unpredictable Skye. Ryan wearily approached her sister who was eating her lunch on the go as she tried to get through her workload with time to spare to see Chan. Skye looked at her sister who she could read like a book.

"What have you done?" she asked knowing Ryan had some confession

"I'm moving in with Alex" she blurted out fast before she changed her mind completely about telling her sister

A delayed response from Skye made the anticipation of a reply more unbearable for Ryan.

"So you're moving into the Grey dorm then?" Skye snidely but calmly responded

"Actually…"

"Oh no" said Skye cutting off her sister knowing exactly where Ryan was going with this "He is not moving into my house"

"Just hear me out"

"No need I'm not going to change my mind about letting that little slimy snake in my house"

"Skye you're hardly there anymore, you're either working or visiting Chan and when Chan's better and out of the hospital he'll be going back to his own apartment because it makes more sense for a guy with breathing difficulties and a bum leg to be on one level and then you'll be there looking after him so you won't even see Alex" said Ryan in one breath

Skye looked at her sister and could see the desperation in her eyes like she needed this...Like she needed Karev.

"If he gets in my way or on my nerves I will not hesitate in packing his bags"

"Oh thank you" said a beaming Ryan kissing and hugging her sister who quickly ran off to find Alex.

Roxie approached Skye and watched as Ryan bounced ecstatically down the corridor.

"Is she high?" asked Roxie

"Her and Karev are living together…in my house"

"Wow that won't be awkward"

"I'll deal with it as I have to I just don't need anymore stress at the moment I'm just too busy with work and Chan"

"And the wedding" reminded Roxie

"Oh my God the wedding…oh hell"

"You forgot you're wedding"

"I just…I don't have time"

"Well you better make time…his goal is based on marrying you in five months"

"I know and I will" Roxie looked at her friend judgmentally "I will!" she exclaimed before walking away

Just then Roxie was joined by Mark and Derek. Mark stood behind Roxie and placed a sketch pad down on the nurses station and began to open it up and show Roxie plans for the apartment renovation.

"Ok so this here is the adjoining wall, the contractors are going to knock down forty percent of it to make a walkway between the two apartments…like a huge corridor from one end of the apartment to the other. They're taking out the second apartment door and the second kitchen…leaving in the second bathroom and making it an en-suite to the fourth bedroom"

"Four bedrooms?"

"Well three two en-suites, one single and the other will be like an office. Then there is the huge living room, a separate dining area…luxury en-suite for us…the main bathroom"

"Whoa three bathrooms?"

"Yes"

"Why do we need three bathrooms?"

"For guests"

"What did I say about this snowballing?"

"It's not snowballing this is standard renovation we don't need two kitchens, two living areas…"

"Four bedrooms or three bathrooms" stated Roxie cutting him off

"Ok I'm going to leave before this turns into an argument" with that Mark walked away leaving Roxie and Derek at the nurses station

Roxie exhaled her frustration and closed her eyes trying to calm herself.

"I don't need this stress"

"He's just trying to make a home for you"

"Yeah I know and I can appreciate that and his enthusiasm for it but…three bathrooms?"

"It's for guests" joked Derek with a smile

"Nobody likes us enough to visit"

Derek smiled "What about when that little one comes along and you're family turn up parents, grandparents…sisters"

"Oh God even with the renovation the apartments not big enough for that"

"Mark isn't trying to annoy you he's just excited and committed"

"He should be committed" replied Roxie with a smile. Derek began to laugh "So how are things with you and Meredith?"

"Good she has agreed to go beyond her normal boundaries and try new things"

"Such as?"

"Eventually commitment…moving in together, marriage, kids"

"Eventually?"

"Eventually is a huge step for Meredith I'm not going to rush her. I know she's the one and if I have to wait for her I will because I know when it does happen when we merge our things, take each others hands and start a family it's going to be the high point of my existence"

"See that's a nice sane approach to a relationship, let it move at it's own pace…not knock through the adjoining wall to the apartment next door to have four bedrooms and three bathrooms"

Derek smiled "It'll all be worth it in the end…trust me!" and she did she knew that Derek the eternal optimist who was probably the only person who knew Mark better than she did was right when he said it would be worth it in the end. When the dust has settled and the three bathrooms are complete and its just her, Mark and their newborn together in the oversized apartment…it will have been worth all the chaos she has yet to come.

"Thanks" she said kissing Derek on the cheek thankful she had him to talk her down as her confidant was now a complete mess of chaos herself.

====================================================================================================================

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW

====================================================================================================================


	25. Chapter 25

A MONTH LATER – AT CHAN'S ROOM

Chan in an exhausted heap was helped back on to his bed by Skye and the therapist.

"It's good progress Chan I know you don't feel like it is but trust me you're doing great" assured the therapist looking at an obviously angry Chan "Ok I'll be back on Thursday to check on you"

"Then can I go home?"

"I think they want to keep you in until the cast is removed"

"Great" snarled Chan

"Ok I'll see you both on Thursday"

"Thank you" said Skye as she watched the RCP leave the room "Babe the cast will be off anytime now then a week of physio…crutches…home"

"Oh shut up" snapped Chan stunning Skye "You think its going to be that easy? You saw me just then I can barely catch my own breath you think I'm going to be able to show enough mobility on my ankle in a week? You think I'm going to be able to move around on crutches? I'm going to be in a wheelchair and in this hospital for a long time"

"You can't think like that you have to believe in the best possible outcome"

"Why to be let down?"

"You can't give up"

"I'm not giving up but I'm not some kind of idiot either who thinks I'm walking out of here on crutches in a weeks time"

Skye couldn't believe how Chan was speaking to her she could understand his upset and frustration but to be so rude to someone who was trying to be supportive was just plain rude and Skye wasn't going to stand for it. She picked up her lab coat and stormed out of the room bumping in to Roxie at the door, without a word said she pushed past her friend and walked away. Roxie looked over at Chan who turned back to the window after watching Skye storm off.

"What's wrong with her?" asked Roxie

"She got a reality check"

"I'm sorry?"

"She thinks I'm going to be walking out of here in a week"

"Err walking out maybe not but you should be out in a week"

Chan looked at Roxie with confusion "I'm not ready to leave"

"Other than your ankle and PFT which is all done by outpatient therapy you're good to go. I actually came in to tell you your cast is coming off today and after a little physio on the ankle just so we know you can stand your own weight if nothing else then you'll be able to go home"

"What about my headaches?"

"I'm sure Derek will continue to prescribe a painkiller for you until they subside"

"He's actually lowered my dosage and they're not working anymore the headaches are keeping me from sleeping again and I'm getting short tempered and taking it out on the people I love"

"Well I can prescribe a sleep aid"

"It won't help with the pain I'm in"

"Well I can talk to Derek about your dosage"

"No I already did and he's not budging on it"

"I'm sure if I tell him about the pain and insomnia he'll make a temporary exception"

"He won't!" Chan sighed "I'm sorry" he apologised as tears became apparent in his eyes "I just need some sleep and without the pain relief I'm not going to get it then the tension because of the pain is increasing the pain of the headache and it's a catch 22. I just need more pain relief"

"Chan I can't prescribe you any pills. You're no longer my patient you're Derek's until the headaches subside, Torres' until the cast comes off"

"It's ok I'll just talk to Derek again you never know he my give me a tranquiliser or something I'll be fine after a good nights sleep"

"I'm sure you will"

"Did you want anything else?" asked Chan trying to get her out the room

"No Torres will be in later"

"Ok"

Roxie smiled at Chan and left the room she walked down the corridor to find Skye in the doctors lounge with a pile of bride magazines laid out on the table in front of her. Roxie opened the door and walked in to find her friend cupping her head in her hands.

"He's just tired"

"I know he's got a long way to go and I am trying to be supportive but he's pushing his luck"

"He's a guy; we know he's fine but he's milking it anyway"

"He doesn't realise that I come here everyday and I work, I do all my surgeries and I have to deal with hospital stuff all day then I go and visit him at the end of the day and on my days off and he's shouting at me because 'he's' tired. Rox I honestly cannot remember the last time I slept in my own bed I'm that exhausted by the end of the day I can't be bothered to drive home I sleep in the on call room my entire life is in my locker and I have my sister on her way down here to drop me off some clean clothes…and he's shouting at me"

"I keep shouting at Mark…" Roxie began sitting down next to her friend "…he's coming to work being Dr Sloan, doing his surgeries dealing with the hospital stuff all day…and in his spare time…and sometimes while he's at work he is busy preparing the apartment for us to live in, he's checking up on me to make sure me and the baby are safe…he's being incredibly sweet bringing me gifts…and I keep shouting at him because I'm pregnant and it's my prerogative. He's done nothing wrong and just keep picking faults mainly about the apartment…but I know he's doing it for all the right reasons and I shouldn't be shouting at him but I do it anyway. Chan knows he shouldn't be shouting at you but he does it anyway. It's him feeling sorry for himself the same way I'm feeling sorry for myself when I spend the better half of the day with my head in the toilet bowl or when people coo all over me and annoy the hell out of me like I'm the first ever pregnant woman…that's why I shout at Mark because I get to vent my frustrations and I know he will take it and he'll forget and still love me by the end of this pregnancy…she hopes" said Roxie with a smile

"So what you're saying is you hurt the ones you love first?"

"Yeah exactly and you need to stop walking on eggshells for him. You need to stop cooing over him like all these women are cooing over me because you're going to make him soft and dependant on you. Toughen up and make him do it for himself"

"Hey ladies" said Ryan as she walked in the lounge and gave Skye her bag of clothes "What's going on?"

"Skye is a little stressed you know with work, Chan and a wedding to plan"

"Wow you're stressed over work and I'm stressed because I have nothing to do. In the last month I have cleaned the house through about nine million times, I have decorated mine and Alex's room, I have shopped endlessly and still I'm bored senseless"

"Can you believe her bitching about a life of freedom?" said Skye to Roxie

"You two are idiots" exclaimed Roxie

"Excuse me?" asked an offended Ryan

"You're bored out of your brain and you're overworked. She can't do your job, she can't care for Chan but she can take on the stress of the wedding preparations and this give Ryan something to occupy her time"

"Ryan arrange my wedding?"

"Yeah"

"Are you kidding?"

"Honey so far you have…" counts the magazines on the table "…nine bridal magazines that you haven't even looked at…anything Ryan does has to be better than that plus she can finalise everything with you before she goes through with it"

"Oh please Skye I need this I need something to do before I go insane"

A sceptical Skye looked at her hopeful sister and at her friend who made the suggestion and she relented knowing it was the best thing all around

"Fine you can arrange the wedding but you finalise everything with me. I don't want a circus either something small, subtle and sweet"

"Ok boring it is"

"Ryan Clarice McKenzie…" started Skye

"Clarice? Did your parents hate you?" interrupted Roxie

"I'm sorry?"

"Ryan, Clarice, Skyler…what's your middle name Bertha?"

Ryan laughed "Close…Skyler Beatrice McKenzie"

Roxie chuckled "I'm sorry sweetie but your parents did a number on you…both of you"

"What is the sudden insult on our names about?"

"It's Mark annoying me with the big book of baby names you should hear some of them they actually make Ryan Clarice and Skyler Beatrice sound half decent"

"Ok I'm going to pretend you're not here" said Ryan referring to Roxie who just smiled "I'm assuming you won't be home again tonight so I will stay here and go through these magazines and then some plans and we can meet in here later so dinner or coffee or something and go through them"

"Ok" Skye reluctantly agreed

"Don't you two work?" said Ryan not so subtly in an attempt to get rid of them both. Skye and Roxie looked at each other and walked out of the lounge leaving Ryan with the bridal magazines. The two doctors each returned to their work.

LATER

Roxie walked through the doors after a long surgery and walked over to the nurses station and handed the chart over.

"Tobias?" said Mark

"Tobias who?" replied Roxie turning to face Mark

"Sloan, Tobias Sloan our son?"

"My son is not called Tobias…" Mark gestured to speak but was cut off before he could utter a word "…nor is he called Mark Junior"

"Ok Stacey"

"Stacey Sloan? Do I look like the kind of girl who is going to raise a bubble gum princess named Stacey?"

"Stacey's aren't bimbos"

"I didn't say Stacey was but Stacey Sloan is a bimbo it's as bad as Cassie Cassidy" Mark gestured to speak once more "Nooooo"

"Ok here's the deal we each get to choose five names for each sex and we can only Vito eight from each gender then we will have two possible names for each gender to pick from"

Roxie was reluctant as she knew they were going to end up with one of Mark's horrendous suggestions but she knew if she didn't agree he would relentlessly bother her with suggestions till the day she gives birth.

"Fine" she agreed

"Get thinking then" he said kissing her and walking away

IN THE LOCKER ROOM

Izzie and Alex are in the locker room getting changed after a long day at work.

"So what are your plans tonight?" Izzie asked

"I don't know it depends on Ryan" he said as the door opened and Meredith walked in

"Oh yeah Alex I saw Ryan earlier and she asked me to tell you to meet her in the doctors lounge after your shift" said Meredith

"Doctors lounge?"

"Yeah she's doing something for McKenzie"

"Oh ok" Alex placed some things back in his bag and threw it on his back and he then pushed his locker door and walked out of the room. Izzie noticed Alex's locker door hadn't closed completely she walked over to close it but something was stopping it she fully opened the door to see what was in the way and saw a ring box. She picked it up and opened it to see a diamond solitaire ring.

"Oh my God" Meredith turned to see Izzie and the box she approached and saw the ring

"Is that out of Alex's locker?" asked Meredith "I guess they are serious"

"Or at least he is" added Izzie

"She wouldn't have asked him to move in with her if she didn't love him"

"I don't know I still get a really bad vibe from her"

Just then the locker room door opened and Izzie frantically shoved the ring back in the locker and slammed the door in time to see Cristina walk around the corner.

"What are you doing?" asked Cristina knowing Izzie and Meredith were hiding something

"Nothing" insisted Izzie

Yang looked between Izzie and Meredith and decided she couldn't be bothered to play their stupid games.

"Move" said Cristina pushing her way past Izzie and Meredith to get to her locker.

AT THE DOCTORS LOUNGE

Alex arrived at the doctors lounge and walked in to see Ryan sat amongst complete chaos with Skye sat beside her.

"Ok the location are you ready? The Crowne Plaza"

"That's not subtle"

"It's beautiful and elegant what happens in there is your decision you can make it a circus or a small gathering"

Skye didn't look impressed and Ryan knew she had to convince her sister into this venue.

"At least go and look at it before you say no"

Skye knew she needed to show trust in her sister and agreed before leaving the room and going back to work.

"What are you doing?" asked Alex

"I am planning Skye's wedding"

"Why?" asked Alex picking at Ryan's food and sitting down next to her pulling a flower arrangement book from underneath him and then throwing it on the table in front of him

"You told me to find something to occupy my time and I have"

"Your sisters wedding?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing if you're happy it's fantastic" he said leaning over and kissing her on the lips once

Ryan stared intently at a patronising Alex as she stood up and walked to the door.

"I have to show Skye something so I'll be back"

"Ok"

Ryan walked out and Alex looked through all the stuff on the table and shook his head just then Ryan's phone began to ring. Alex followed the ringing to find Ryan's phone under the mass of papers on the table. He looked at the display which read; Michael ringing curiously he answered the phone.

"Hello Ryan's phone"

"Hi…who is this?" came the voice from the other end

"This is Alex"

"Is Ryan there?"

"No she left her phone behind. I'll get her to call you back who should I say has called her?"

"Michael…I'm her husband"

Karev couldn't believe what he was hearing and he hung up. He knew it was wrong but he checked her inbox to find multiple messages from Michael all along the same lines begging her to talk to him.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

The door opened and Ryan followed by Skye walked into the doctors lounge to find an obviously upset Alex sat waiting.

"What's wrong with you?" asked Ryan noticing the long face

"I just had a nice chat with your husband" said Alex blatantly

Ryan stared at Alex in amazement and Skye looked on with curiosity.

"Husband?" asked Skye

"Yeah a guy named Michael. You want to explain?"

Ryan didn't hesitate "I got married eighteen months ago in Vegas to a guy I'd been briefly dating it was all whirlwind and magical. We didn't work out I left him and came here"

"You told me…" started Skye

"Yeah I know what I told you"

"Why?" asked Skye

"Because I would rather you think I'm a slut than feel sorry for me"

"Sorry for you?"

"Yeah…he cheated on me…many times"

"Ryan…" Skye said sympathetically

"See that's what I don't want…I don't want to hear that tone" Ryan looked at Alex and then back at her sister "Skye can you leave us?"

"Sure" Skye walked out of the room and Ryan walked over to Alex and sat on the edge of the table and took his hands in hers.

"I should have told you but I just couldn't find the right way of doing it and then things kept getting more serious and it got harder to do"

"I can't do this" said Alex standing up but Ryan was quick to her feet and stopped him

"I walked in on him with some slut and I walked straight out the room, straight out the house and came here. I haven't seen him or spoken to him since that night. The next time I do speak to him will be for a divorce but I have to do it in my own time"

"I'm going to stay at Greys tonight"

"Alex don't be like this"

"Ryan I can't take all of this in and then go home with you like it's never happened. I need to be alone to deal with this. Just go home and I'll be home in the morning"

Alex kissed Ryan on the cheek and left the room ready to make his way over to Meredith's house.

AT CHAN'S ROOM

Skye walked in to see a resting Chan who was disturbed by the door closing.

"Sorry" said Skye as she approached the bed not sure whether to kiss him or not after the harsh words earlier that day

"It's ok I was just resting my eyes…Earlier I was out of line…I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I'm just tired…I have these headaches still and I can't sleep because of them. Derek's lowered my dosage of vicodin which is why the headaches are so brutal and I'm off the Ambien"

"Well if you talk to Derek I'm sure he'll give you a high dose"

"I asked him already he said no"

"If you're in pain he can't refuse"

"Well he did…you could always write me up a prescription then if anything's said about it you can say you didn't agree with Derek's decision because you could see the pain I was in"

"I don't know babe I wouldn't appreciate Derek muscling in on my cases"

"You're not muscling in you're a concerned doctor. Skye I need sleep and without the pain relief I can't do it"

Skye could see the pain in his eyes and hesitantly she nodded her head.

"Ok I'll get you a higher dose" she said taking the pill bottle off his table

AT MEREDITHS HOUSE

Meredith and Derek were sat in the kitchen preparing food after a long day at work. As Derek prepared the meat and Meredith sat at he counter peeling carrots Meredith shot a look at him, as Derek looked up he caught her staring and smiled.

"This is nice" began Derek as he walked around to Meredith and sat next to her and began to peel potatoes. "Us here preparing dinner…like a proper couple"

"We are a proper couple"

"No we're boyfriend and girlfriend a proper couple would do this every day"

"You want to come here and cook for me everyday?"

"Yes I do…" Derek could see the shock on Meredith's face "…In fact I would like to move in here with you"

Meredith sat motionless as the words hit her and the fear present on her face Derek smiled at her almost defeated in his attempts to bring himself and Meredith closer and take their relationship to the next level. Suddenly a knock came at the door and Meredith stood up instantly.

"I have to get that…because it's my door…and someone's knocking on it" she rambled as she backed out of the room to open the door. She looked through the glass door to see Alex stood on the other side she opened the door and looked at her friend "Alex are you ok?"

"I need somewhere to stay for the night?"

"Oh ok come in" Meredith held the door as Alex walked in and placed his bang down at the kitchen table and he walked in to take a beer out of the refrigerator "Are you and Ryan having problems?"

"I just need to be away from her tonight"

"Is it because you moved in with her too fast?" asked Meredith hoping Derek would take the subtle message

"No it's because I just found out she's married. In fact this is exactly like you two and Addison. You left because Addison cheated on you with Sloan and then you started dating Meredith then Addison turned up and let the cat out of the bag. Were you angry with him? I feel like I can't be angry with her because she left him so technically she's doing nothing wrong but then I think well she's no better than him…and I know who am I to talk about moral standing when I cheated on Izzie but am I angry? Should I be angry? What do I do?"

"You go and talk it out with her. You obviously want answers that only she can give you so go and get them" advised Derek

"No I can't because I'll end up arguing with her and I don't want that because I love her"

"It's that serious?" asked Derek

"I bought a freakin' ring man"

"Oh you bought a ring?" asked Meredith trying to disguise the fact that she knew

"Don't; Yang already told me she saw you and Izzie"

"I'm sorry you're locker didn't shut and it was the ring blocking it and well…we looked. It's beautiful"

"I had it all planned out and now I can't ask her to marry me because…" chuckles to himself "She's already married" Alex took a drink of his beer and looked at Derek and Meredith "I'm going to my old room" with that Alex walked out and left the couple alone. Derek looked at Meredith and she tried to avoid him.

"Coffee?"

"Should we move in together?" asked Derek bringing the subject right back to where it got interrupted

Meredith looked at Derek like a deer caught in headlights and she didn't know what to say to this wonderful man that sat before her wanting to make a life with her. She couldn't understand why she couldn't just move in with him and make that life…a continuous feeling of dread that Meredith carried with her was stopping her from saying yes to this amazing man.

=============================================================================

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW - THANKS

=============================================================================


	26. Chapter 26

THE NEXT MORNING – AT MARK AND ROXIES APARTMENT

Roxie was stood in the bathroom looking into the mirror checking her baby bump which she knew she soon wouldn't be able to hide as it was growing bigger by the day. With the heavy morning sickness Roxie felt it was better she hide out in the bathroom rather than keep having to rush for it from another room. The door opened and Mark walked in and caught her admiring her bump he walked over to her wrapped his arms around her and placed his large masculine hand across the span of her stomach. She smiled as she watched their reflection.

"Ralph" Mark whispered

"You're joking right?"

Mark smiled "You'll have to wait and see my list"

"Well don't spend too much time on the boys names because this little bump is a girl" she said placing her hand on top of Marks

"This here is my son" he argued

"Wow you're going to be really disappointed when this bump is born"

"No I'm not; I don't care what this bump is as long as it's a healthy bump"

Roxie pivoted and wrapped her arms around Mark's neck and kissed him sweetly on the lips. A knock came at the door and interrupted the couple.

"Ignore it" said Roxie but Mark just smiled and pulled away

"It's the contractors" Mark walked away to answer the door

"Great, more mess"

"It will be over soon enough"

"Can I have that in writing?" she joked as her grumpy and tired pregnant persona was growing tired of the contractors and the mess in her home. "I'm going to work" she said picking up her stuff and walking out the door. Mark walked into the corridor.

"Are you not waiting for me?"

"Say goodbye to the contractors and you might just catch me before I drive off"

Mark smiled as he collected his things and left the contractors to their work and quickly caught up with Roxie.

AT RYANS HOUSE

Alex arrived home and walked in to find Ryan asleep on the couch he sat down beside her and softly brought her out of her slumber.

"I can't be angry, I don't have the right. This was a shock but if you have chosen to leave him then we're doing nothing wrong. I just wish you weren't married"

"Me too"

"Ok if you're serious about leaving and divorcing him you have to do it. You have to file for divorce if you don't then I don't know whether you really want to be with me"

"I do"

"Then prove it call a lawyer and start the divorce process"

AT THE HOSPITAL – CHANS ROOM

Skye walked into the room where a happy Chan greeted her, a complete 360 from the day before.

"Morning" he said with a huge smile

"You look better today" she said kissing him on the lips

"I am, I slept it was good. I knew that was all I needed. Plus my physio starts today so hopefully I'll be getting out of here soon"

"That's good news"

"I've missed going to bed with you and I don't mean in the kinky way. I know I'm a long way off that goal but I mean just laying next to you and having you in my arms. I miss that"

"That's sweet and something to look forward to when you get discharged"

"Yeah and then our wedding"

"Oh yeah about that…Ryan's organising it"

"Ryan?"

"Yeah she was complaining about having too much time on her hands and with everything that's happened and then work in general I didn't have enough time so it just made sense that she does all the running around and we make the final decisions. Everybody's happy then"

"Yeah I suppose. Hey babe can you find out when the physio is coming?"

"Yeah I'll go ask right now" she said with a smile as she walked out she approached the nurses station where Derek was standing looking at Chan's chart

"How is the patient this morning?"

"Much better this morning"

"Much better as apposed to…"

"Well yesterday he was in a lot of pain and I hope you don't mind but I prescribed him a higher dose of vicodin"

"He was on a more than sufficient dose I took into account the possible severity of the headaches"

"Yeah but he was still in incredible pain yesterday when I visited him"

"He shouldn't be on any higher dosage than what he already is"

"They weren't helping" just then Skye's pager went off she looked at it and placed it back on her hip "He was in pain, he was sleep deprived and I had to do it. You didn't see him Derek" Skye then walked away to answer her page

Derek walked into Chan's room and sat on the end of his bed.

"So Chan how are you today?"

"I'm good"

"I hear you were suffering slightly yesterday"

"I had a bad head and I hadn't slept and I was in pain and tired"

"So you were given a higher dose of vicodin?"

"Yeah…I had told many people during the day I felt I needed a stronger dose but nothing happened, nobody got in touch with you then Skye came in and I was in agony"

"Oh no I don't mind but I'll return the pills I prescribed you seen as though they weren't strong enough"

"I sent them back already with one of the nurses yesterday when I was complaining for a higher dose"

"Ahh right which nurse was it?"

"I can't remember I was so out of it yesterday with the pain"

"Ok as long as they've been safely handed back"

"I don't know what happened with the nurse when she left but I handed them to her"

"Ok I'll ask around and make sure they were returned to the dispensary"

Derek stared at Chan for a moment longer before he stood up and made his way out of the room.

LATER

Roxie was stood at the nurses station when she was approached by Derek.

"Hi"

Roxie turned and smiled at Derek "Hi"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure" she said not looking up as she continued writing

"Has Skye spoken to you about Chan?"

"About anything in particular?"

"I don't know, his recovery?"

"Only that it's slow, why?"

"No reason"

"You wouldn't be asking if there weren't a reason so what's the problem?" she asked looking over at Derek

"He's still complaining of headaches which he claims are causing insomnia"

"It's viable right?"

"Yes but he shouldn't still be suffering from the headaches they're a little prolonged for my liking"

"Do a CT" she suggested

"Yeah I will" replied Derek he stood and watched Roxie return her attention to the paperwork in front of her but she could feel his eyes on her and knew he hadn't finished.

"What?" she asked turning back towards him

"Skye prescribed him a higher dose of vicodin"

"And?"

"He had a sufficient dose already"

"Yeah but then you lowered it so it's not like she's giving him a dangerous amount"

"I didn't lower his dosage"

Roxie tilted her head and gave Derek a confused look "Chan told me you had, he was complaining to me the other day about it"

"Did he try to get you to prescribe him something?"

"He hinted but once I said no he didn't push it, is there more to this?"

"He told me Skye prescribed a higher dose because the dosage I had prescribed wasn't helping him and when I asked the for pills I'd prescribed to return them to the dispensary he told me they'd already been taken by a nurse"

"Had they?" asked Roxie

"I don't know I haven't had chance to ask"

"Here's your chance" said Roxie pointing at Julia the ICU staff nurse

"Julia did any of the nurses take a prescription from Chan's room to take back to the dispensary?"

"If they did it would be on the chart" she replied as she walked away in a hurry

Derek checked the chart and there was nothing mentioned about returning any prescription back to the dispensary.

"He's lying about that too?" asked Roxie

Derek just looked at his friend and Roxie could see the concern in Derek's eyes as he feared the worse.

LATER AT CHAN'S ROOM

Derek and Roxie were waiting in Chan's room the door soon opened and Skye appeared she looked at her friends as she approached Chan kissing him.

"Why the serious faces?" asked Skye

"Chan I've scheduled a CT I'm concerned about the longevity of these headaches and I just want to make sure that everything is ok because at the dose in which Skye has prescribed you shouldn't be in any pain"

"I'm not anymore"

"You shouldn't have been at the dose I prescribed either"

"What can I tell you Derek they just weren't cutting it and the lack of sleep wasn't helping"

"I can understand that but still I think we need to get you checked out"

"Ok so why is Roxie here and why did you call me in?" asked Skye almost feeling double teamed

"Roxie is here at my request, the dosage you're taking should not be taken periodically as you know vicodin can be extremely addictive especially if administered in such high dosages which is why I felt the dosage I prescribed was sufficient"

"It wasn't helping him" interrupted Skye

"Earlier I asked for the pills I'd prescribed back to return them and you said that a nurse had taken them back. There is nothing on the chart and I have asked the nurses and no one recalls returning them"

"Well they must be lying"

"I checked at the dispensary and they weren't returned"

"Looks like one of the nurses has a little vicodin problem then doesn't it" snarled Chan

Derek looked at Chan and didn't know how to approach the situation "Chan I'm going to ask you a question and I would like you to answer honestly. Did you use all of the prescription?"

"No why would I they didn't have any effect"

"Maybe one didn't but doubling the dose would have had one hell of a kick behind it" said Roxie

"You think he's an addict?" asked Skye knowing exactly that was what they were insinuating

"The pills haven't been recovered either Chan used them all or he's right about one of the nurses and if Chan denies it then an internal investigation is going to have to take place"

"I took the bottle" admitted Skye

"Skye…" started Roxie hoping her friend wasn't just covering for him

"I took it off his nightstand to check the dosage before I prescribed him a higher dose"

Derek and Roxie looked at each other neither one sure whether the words she was speaking were the truth or a cover for the man she loved.

"How come Chan said a nurse took them?" asked Derek

"Like I said earlier I wasn't myself yesterday" replied Chan

"Skye how many pills were in the bottle?" asked Derek

"I didn't count them but there was at least half a bottle" she lied defending her fiancée

"Ok" replied Derek still not certain of the truth "Well I'd appreciate if you would return them to the dispensary"

"Of course"

"Chan I apologise but you understand I had to ask"

"Whatever" he snarled once more

"Someone will be down to take you to CT" Derek observed the room and shot a look at Roxie before leaving

Roxie looked at her friend "Do you want me to return the pills?" she asked trying to confirm the truth

"No I'll return them, no offence but I want my name to be on the sheet to prove to any non believers that they were returned"

"Skye it's not like that"

"It's exactly like that, Roxie can you just leave us please"

Roxie knew she had to leave although she wanted to stay.

"Ok" Roxie then left the room and looked back to see Skye turn to face Chan she then walked away

"Please tell me they're not right" she asked looking for the truth in his eyes

"You think I'm an addict?"

"That bottle was empty"

"I didn't take them"

"Then where did they go?"

Chan looked at the anger in her eyes and then shook his head and looked over at the basin

"You're trying to tell me you got out of bed and tipped them down the drain?"

"Believe what you want. In fact no believe what Roxie says because what she says is gospel, it's like you don't even have a mind of your own anymore"

"Don't you dare! I have just put myself in the firing line for you, I have to return those pills that you 'tipped down the drain' how do you suggest I do that?"

"You'll figure it out" he said closing his eyes and relaxing

"Just so you know when that bottles empty I'm not topping it back up"

"That would only bother me if I were an addict which I'm not" he said opening his eyes and looking at Skye who wasn't convinced "Close the door on your way out" he said closing his eyes once more

Skye looked at Chan and wondered if her friends were right but she felt she knew Chan better than anybody and wasn't prepared to believe he'd sunk so low. She walked out of the room closing the door behind her and walking away wondering how she was going to replace those pills.

LATER

As an exhausted Roxie stood at the nurses station with her eyes closed a smile crept onto her face as she felt masculine arms surrounding her.

"You look tired" he whispered in her ear

She opened her eyes and looked over her shoulder at him "I am"

"Is little Ivan tiring you out?"

Roxie pivoted to face Mark with a look of disgust on her face "Ivan?"

"Yeah I think it's a strong name" he joked knowing it was infuriating the expectant mother

"Please tell me you're just screwing with me"

"I'm just screwing with you" he said pulling her in closer to him and smiling as she rested herself against his masculine frame "Although I am warming towards Tobias"

"No" she said pushing herself away from his chest "No my son is not called Tobias"

"Ahh so you're finally willing to admit that the bump is our son?"

"No I'm just concerned, you're so adamant that the bump is a boy that I am concerned for our daughter because you're not putting as much attention to detail with the girls names and I am just in fear that she will end up with options such as Beatrice and Clarice"

"Beatrice?" said Mark pretending to ponder the name

"Just quit screwing with me, I can't take it I'm carrying a meatloaf in here"

Mark laughed and hugged Roxie tight kissing her before he left. Roxie stood trying to find enough energy to continue on when she spotted Derek walking towards her.

"Well?" she asked

"Nothing on the CT"

"So what now?"

"We have to treat him like any other suspected addict"

"Keep feeding vicodin?"

"We have to treat him as though the pain is real because we don't know that it isn't and there is no solid proof that he has an addiction"

"Do you think that Skye's covering for him?"

"I don't know you're her closest friend"

"Yeah who she's been avoiding all day. Is that because she's feeling guilty for covering for him or because I offended her by even insinuating it?"

"You wouldn't be a good doctor if you chose to ignore it"

"You just don't expect it to be one of the staff"

"He's been through a lot of trauma and pain until you experience it you can't judge him nobody can"

"Yeah but I can't sit back and pretend nothings happening either, if he is…"

"If he is…it will show soon enough and if we can prove withdrawal then we can make steps to help his recovery but unfortunately it's a waiting game now"

"What if she is lying for him? What if he did take all those pills and she can't replace them?"

"If she's lying; she's made a mistake and an error in judgment but if he's an addict this could all be new to her too. Unfortunately we have to deal with this as it happens. I'm going to go and speak with Chan now, I'll keep you informed"

Derek then walked away and as she watched him leave she spotted Skye exiting the elevator

"Skye" she called catching her friend's attention who after noticing Roxie turned to leave in the opposite direction. "Don't make me run in this condition!" screamed Roxie loud enough for it to echo through the room. Skye stopped and turned to face Roxie who approached her slowly. "Skye please tell me you're not lying for him"

"He's my fiancé"

"You didn't answer my question"

Skye looked at Roxie and then at the abandoned room next to her and pushed her inside.

"He's not an addict he's just in pain"

"He used all the pills didn't he?"

"He was in pain"

"He doubled the dose, that is a dangerous dose Skye! He's consumed a months worth of pills in just over two weeks"

"Roxie I know Chan"

"And you know the signs, you're a doctor Skye don't let your feelings for him cloud your judgment you're not helping him by pretending"

"Shepherds going to have my head on the chopping block if those pills aren't returned and I don't know how I'm going to do it. So are you going to help me or not?"

Roxie looked at her friend and couldn't believe what she was doing and she wondered to herself whether she would go that far for Mark and without hesitation knew that even though she loved Mark she still knew right from wrong and knew she wouldn't allow herself to cross that line.

"No I'm not going to help you and by doing this you're not helping Chan" Roxie then walked out of the room leaving a panicked and deterred Skye behind


	27. Chapter 27

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie spat into the basin and placed her toothbrush back into the holder and looked into the mirror she couldn't help but think about Skye. She wanted nothing more than to help her but she couldn't encourage her friends behaviour. She was soon joined by Mark who put his head around the door and smiled.

"Are you ready?" he asked

"Yeah" she said giving a slight smile that didn't fool Mark. He walked into the bathroom and placed his arms around her waist.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine just tired"

"Yeah you were restless last night don't worry though babe this part of the pregnancy is supposed to ease up towards the end of the first trimester"

"I didn't realise your speciality had changed" replied Roxie with sarcasm

"I've been reading about it, I want to help as much as I can and to do that I have to know what you're going through"

Roxie turned to Mark and smiled "You're so sweet" she said kissing him softly on the lips

"So are you ready to go now?" he asked as they parted lips

"Yeah just let me grab my coat" replied Roxie walking away followed by Mark

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Derek smiled as he saw Meredith approach she smiled back being polite but inside she felt nauseous as she knew Derek would bring up the conversation about the two of them moving in together.

"Good morning" said Meredith picking up a chart and beginning to write as Derek continued to stare at her

"So we're just never going to speak about it again?" he asked knowing not to push Meredith

Meredith stopped writing and looked at this perfect man before her.

"It isn't that I don't want to move in with you it's just that if we move in together and something happens…"

"What's going to happen?" asked Derek interrupting

"I don't know but something might and then there's the awkwardness of separating our stuff and you moving out"

"Meredith I wouldn't have raised the issue if I didn't think we were ready for this. I'm not trying to rush you and if you feel rushed I apologise but I just wanted to take our relationship to the next step otherwise we're just not moving anywhere"

"Standing still isn't a bad thing"

"Neither is moving forward"

The couple looked at each other and Meredith could feel the panic inside she was then called away by one of her interns leaving Derek alone once more wondering whether his relationship would ever turn into anything serious. Derek then smiled as he saw Mark and Roxie walking out of the elevator he watched as they kissed goodbye and Mark made his way to the locker room but Roxie didn't follow and she approached Derek.

"Good morning"

"Is it?" she asked herself and Derek

"Problems?"

"I spoke to Skye…"

"Oh" said Derek almost certain of what was going to come next

"…she lied for him the bottle was empty when she wrote the prescription. She swears he's not an addict but she's too close right?"

"Yes she is, but Roxie she may be right he may not be an addict it's just things are a little suspect at the moment but until he shows some action of withdrawal or addiction we can't do anything about it"

"I know I just don't want her getting into trouble"

Derek placed his hand on her shoulder as comfort when his pager went off he checked it and excused himself. Skye then appeared and Roxie frantically tried to catch up with her to talk.

"Skye wait, wait please" she called

Skye stopped and turned to her friend "I'm surprised you even want to speak to me after what I did" snarled Skye

"Skye please I'm just worried about you"

"There would be nothing to worry about if you had helped me last night"

"I couldn't…I'm sorry"

"You know what Roxie forget it; you shouldn't associate yourself with someone like me. I'm a bad person and I'll only bring you down with me"

"Oh stop it!"

"What the truth hurts? I didn't even raise an eyebrow when you slept with Karev or Derek and you're judging me like this"

"That was different, I wasn't covering for somebody and potentially hurting them more than they are themselves"

"Are you listening to yourself? You're talking like he's a junkie. He's been to hell and back"

"I know he has but there is no reason he should still be in the amount of pain he's claiming and you know that, you're a doctor Skye and if this were one of your patients you would be thinking exactly the same as me right now"

"He isn't my patient, he's my fiancée and I'm not thinking with my head I'm feeling with my heart. He was in pain, he still is and I can't bear to see him like that"

"So you're just going to keep topping up the vicodin?"

Skye shook her head and exhaled before storming off leaving Roxie behind.

"Dr Leoni I have a case that I think you might be interested in" said Bailey as she approached holding the file in her hand but Roxie wasn't paying attention "Dr Leoni!" said Bailey with a slightly raised voice finally getting the attention of Roxie

"What is it Bailey?"

"I have case…"

"Ok…" she said reaching out and taking the file from Bailey who just stood staring at her attending

"I know that you're feeling tired, nauseous and aggravated but until it passes you just have to work through it"

"Excuse me?" she asked not sure what Bailey was trying to insinuate

"You look awful"

"Thanks now I feel much better"

"I'm just saying it gets easier"

"So people keep telling me. This case…"

ELSEWHERE IN THE HOSPITAL

Karev and Ryan stood holding hands in the corridors kissing each other sweetly.

"So you're going to be hanging around again?"

"Yeah"

"So maybe later…" Alex then winked and gave a scandalous smile

Ryan giggled "Maybe"

Alex raised his eyebrows kissed Ryan and walked away leaving Ryan and her overloaded folders which she picked up and dumped on the nurses station counter as she began to lose her grip.

"Are you ok there?" asked Mark

"Yeah just lost my grip and these folders cannot fall. They cannot get broken because I have organised them perfectly"

"What are they?"

"Skylers wedding plans"

"Ahh yeah I heard you were in charge. Where are you going?"

"Doctors lounge"

"Here let me carry them for you"

"Thanks"

"Well I wouldn't want you to drop them there's enough crazy chicks running around here"

Mark picked up the folders and they headed in the direction of the doctors lounge.

"So crazy chicks? Is Roxie on that list?"

"The top of it at the moment"

"Does she know you're talking about her like this?"

"Nah when she's around we're nothing but nice to her because at the moment we don't know if she's very emotionally stable"

"We?"

"Yeah I have the whole hospital on notice"

They arrived at the doctors lounge and walked in to find Skye pouring herself a cup of coffee. Mark placed the folders down on the table.

"Thanks" said Ryan getting a wink from Mark

"Skye" he acknowledged before leaving the room

Ryan could see her sister was upset and sat down on the sofa staring at her waiting for her to open up.

"What?" snarled Skye as she stared back at her sister but Ryan didn't say a word and Skye knew she was the only person she could talk to with a moment of hesitation she began "I'm in trouble"

"Oh my God are you pregnant?"

"No I mean serious trouble, career ending trouble, heartbreaking trouble"

Ryan stood up and walked over to Skye "Ok now I'm worried"

"You can't tell a soul"

"I promise" Skye hesitated once more not sure whether she could trust her sister "Skye I promise it's between you and me"

"I think Chan is addicted to vicodin"

"What? How?"

"They prescribed it him for his pain and he took a months worth of tablets in two weeks and then he tried to get a higher dose from Rox and she refused him and he finally got it out of me"

"So what have you done that is career ending?"

"I lied to a colleague. Chan told them Derek the pills he prescribed had no effect, he wanted them back to take to the dispensary and they weren't there the bottle was empty he told me he threw them down the drain but he's lying to people and his mood swings…" Skye looked with worry in her eyes "…I don't know what to do"

"They can't fire you for lying right?"

"I told Derek I had the pills and now I have to replace them and I can't"

"You're a doctor"

"I can't write a fake prescription to replace another and there has to be a legitimate reason for the prescription and a file made up. I asked Roxie to help but she wouldn't and she was my one and only hope"

"I'll help you"

"How?"

"I don't know but if you need me I'm here"

"I do need you but I just don't know how to get out of this"

"What about Chan?"

"Unless he admits he has a problem there's nothing I can do"

Skye sighed and held her head in her hands. Ryan put her arms around her sister who relinquished and began to cry.

LATER

Roxie was sat behind the desk asleep with her head on a large pile of charts.

"She should be at home" said Yang

"Why?" asked Meredith

"She's not capable of doing her job look at her she's drooling all over the charts"

"She is not drooling and she's perfectly capable of doing her job she's just exhausted; she's making a little person in there she has all the rights in the world to fall to sleep in the middle of the shift. I feel like doing it most days and I'm not growing another person inside of me"

"All the stress of being the head of general surgery can't be good for the baby"

"She will leave when she needs to she's still in the first trimester she's going to feel like crap so give her a break"

"She should be at least kept away from the patients"

"She's pregnant not contagious"

"Yeah but with her mood swings and so forth"

"You're not pregnant and we let you near the patients Doctor Yang. Even on her worst and most hormonal day she can't compare to you're harsh and hostile bedside manner" interfered Mark as he approached the nurses station undetected by the residents

"I just meant…" started Yang trying to cover herself

"I don't care what you just meant. What you need to do Doctor Yang is remember that whether pregnant or not she is still your boss and you wouldn't speak to her that way if she were wide awake so I suggest you keep you lips shut and start practicing your pucker because no doubt when she wakes up your lips will be firmly back on her cute little ass, especially seen as though she has a cardio on the board"

Yang moved away and grabbed Meredith's arm dragging her along behind her. Mark walked around the desk and sat down in the seat next to Roxie he gently began to stroke her face slowly bringing her out of her slumber. As he saw her eyes a smile appeared on his face.

"Hi" he said still stroking her face

"Hey" she said focusing on the room and pushing herself into a seated position still a little distorted she looked at Mark "This is getting ridiculous I'm only a couple of months and I'm like a zombie"

"Go to the on call room and sleep some more make sure you're fully awake for surgery you've got up on the board"

"Would it be wrong to take pep pills while I'm pregnant?" she asked with a joking desperation

"Some people might frown" he replied

Roxie stood up and placed her charts back in the rack and looked at Mark.

"Have you seen Skye?"

"Earlier yeah she was in the doctor's lounge"

"How did she seem?"

"As happy as always to see me"

Roxie smiled "Ok never mind I'll find her later" Roxie then kissed Mark on the lips and walked away making a beeline for the on call room to get more sleep.

LATER

Ryan was walking frantically through the hospital to find Alex she approached an intern.

"Have you seen Doctor Karev?"

The intern pointed to a window where Ryan could now see Alex with a patient she tried to get his attention by waving at him and moving closer to the window. She finally caught his attention and he gave an obscure look. He excused himself from the room and joined Ryan outside.

"Hey babe, if you're here for our…maybe, then I'm sorry I don't have time right now"

"No that's not why I'm here, its Skye"

A Little While Later

Skye was stood at the nurses station looking into Chan's room, she couldn't bring herself to go inside but couldn't help but be curious of his medication and recovery. Skye was soon joined by Ryan and Karev.

"What are you doing here?" asked Skye

"I have a plan" said Alex

IN AN EMPTY PRIVATE ROOM

Skye stormed in followed by Alex and Ryan.

"I can't believe you. I promise Skye it's just between me and you" she said mimicking her sister

"I'm worried about you" replied Ryan

"What and he's going to make everything alright?" she screamed pointing at Karev

"He's gonna save your ass" interrupted Alex

Skye looked at him and knew he must be doing this for Ryan as there was no love loss between the two of them.

"And how are you going to do that?"

"You're going to write me a prescription"

"Nice idea but if it were that simple it would have been done already"

"You need a chart making up and a dislocated shoulder should be enough"

"What are you going to do throw yourself down the stairs?"

"No you're going to manipulate it"

"You want me to dislocate your shoulder?"

"You're the best Ortho in the hospital that's why you're the head of the department. I wouldn't let you do this if I didn't trust you"

"And why should I trust you?"

"Do you have another option? Plus my ass is on the line here too"

Skye looked at Ryan and then back at Alex and knew he was her only option.

LATER

Meredith and Cristina were walking down the corridor talking amongst themselves.

"So now we're stuck in this niche and I don't know what to do" said Meredith

"Do you want to live with him?" asked Cristina

"Yeah" said Meredith with a little hesitation

"There's your answer" replied Cristina referring to the hesitation from her friend they then opened the door to the stairwell to find Alex at the bottom writhing in agony

"Oh my God what happened?" asked Meredith tending to Alex

"Get McKenzie" said Alex as he was helped to his feet

A Little While Later

Skye walked into the room and saw Alex on the bed as her heart pounded in chest she nervously approached and got into character knowing she had to fool everyone in the room.

"Ok what happened here?"

"I tripped and fell down the stairs I have a dislocated shoulder"

"You're not a doctor in here Karev you're the patient so I'll be making the prognosis"

Skye examined the shoulder and Alex showed the pain through his facial expressions as he bit down on his lip. Alex then looked at Skye and smiled smugly.

"Dislocated shoulder?"

"Yang help me set this"

A Little While Later

The room had now cleared and it was just Alex, Cristina and Skye in the room. The door flew open and Ryan rushed in.

"Baby what happened?"

"Nothing"

"Are you ok?" she said wrapping her arms around him causing him to flinch "Oh sorry. So?"

"I'm fine. I dislocated my shoulder but Skye sorted it I'll be fine"

"Are you in pain?"

"Yeah"

"He refused the drugs like an idiot" said Skye

"I didn't need them"

"Still think the same about it now?"

"I want to get back to work so maybe…maybe I should get some painkillers"

"Typical man" said Cristina to herself Skye looked at her "Can I go now?" she asked

"Yeah but first run up to the dispensary and get Karev his prescription"

"Run along Yang" mocked Alex

Cristina took the prescription and gave Alex a look of disgust as she ran around doing errands for him. Cristina walked out of the room and Skye collapsed back against the counter she couldn't believe they'd pulled it off.


	28. Chapter 28

LATER AT SKYES HOUSE

Alex walked into the house along with Ryan with his arm in a sling she helped him with his jacket and he made his way into the kitchen to find Skye preparing dinner. She stopped and looked at Karev and at the sling and she couldn't believe Ryan meant so much to him that he would take himself out of surgical action to help her sister.

"Here" he said handing her the prescription

She took it from him and with relief she smiled "Thanks…for doing this. I appreciate it"

Alex then took a leaflet out of his back pocket and handed it to her. She took it from him with curiosity and read the header quickly.

'Serenity Creek – A Serene Cleansing Experience'

"What is this?" she asked

"It's a rehab facility they do residential inpatient programs. They will take patients against their will if referred by a doctor and a psychiatrist. You need to help him because he won't help himself, my Dad was a drunk but he never admitted it…they never do"

Alex then walked out of the kitchen leaving Skye to look at the leaflet and weigh up her options.

THE NEXT DAY

Skye walked into Chan's room and he looked over at Skye and smiled.

"Thought you'd forgotten about me" he said

"Yesterday? Yeah I know I had a long hard day"

"Did you sort out the pills?" he asked but before she could answer Derek walked in

"Good morning"

"Hey Derek" said Chan

"Your very last neuro exam hopefully after this I'll be able to sign you off and then you only have physio left" he said with a smile

"That exits getting closer and closer" said Chan with a smile as Skye watched on wondering whether she was imagining it all and if he genuinely had been in pain and nothing more.

"So how are you feeling today?"

"Good"

"No headaches?"

"No headaches"

"Well that's a good sign"

"Anything else not neuro that's bothering you? Asking as a friend now not a doctor?"

"The ankle, the breathing, the extremely slow progress"

"Frustrating I can imagine"

Derek finished up with his exam and smiled

"Everything is fine I am happy to tell you you're no longer my patient"

"Excellent no offence"

"None taken"

"So that's it?" asked Chan

"Well there is just one last thing I checked at the dispensary and the pills hadn't been handed in" he stated looking at Skye

Skye reached into her pocket and pulled out the pill bottle and handed it to Derek who checked the contents and placed it in his pocket.

"I'll return it if you don't mind"

"Not at all" replied Skye

"Ok well I'll see you sometime Chan good luck with the recovery"

"Thanks" he said as he watched Derek leave the room "How did you pull it off?"

"Maybe its better you don't know"

"Skye it's me"

"Is it?" she asked wondering

"What?" he asked confused

Skye shook it off and changed the subject "How's the prescription going that I gave you?"

"What you want to count the pills?"

"I just meant are they working?"

"You heard me I just told Shepherd no headaches"

"So you've stopped taking them?"

"Yeah"

"You won't mind if I return them to the dispensary then? Or have you already given them to a nurse?"

"You're unbelievable"

"Me? I'm the one who just put my ass on the line covering for you because you disposed of a month's prescription in two weeks"

"I told you I washed those away down the drain"

"Such sincerity yet I don't believe you" she said walking out of the room

Chan opened his drawer and retrieved the pill bottle and placed two pills in his hand he then reached for his glass of water and took the pills placing the bottle back into the drawer. Derek watched on as he did so and then took the pill bottle out of his pocket and looked back at Chan.

"Julia" he called seeking the ICU staff nurses attention "Could you do me a favour please?"

ELSEWHERE

Roxie sat at the nurses station resting her weary legs when Skye approached. Roxie looked up at her friend not sure what to say or if to say anything at all.

"I'm sorry" said Skye

"I'm sorry too"

"You have nothing to be sorry for he tried to scam you, you weren't gullible like me"

"Gullible?"

"Yeah you were right he's addicted to them"

"You have proof of this?"

"Working people, lying, mood swings, I didn't want to believe it but he is"

"The pills?"

"I sorted it"

"Please don't tell me you did something stupid" said a concerned Roxie

"Stupid yeah but above board…kind of"

"Skye?"

"No I'm not telling you but you have to promise you don't tell Derek this because as far as he's concerned the pills were there all along"

Roxie looked at Skye with concern and Skye could read her like a book.

"Oh my God you told him? You told him about the pills? Great, fantastic you just dropped me and Karev in it. I hope you're happy"

Skye walked away leaving a panicked and guilt stricken Roxie behind.

LATER

Julia walked into Chan's room and smiled as he opened his eyes and saw her.

"Insomnia's cured then?" she asked

"Just resting my eyes but yeah thanks for asking"

"I think one of the other nurses accidentally brought these out with her" she said handing the pill bottle that Derek had previously taken from Skye "I know Doctor Shepherd gave them directly to you to administer when necessary"

"Yeah he did and thanks I've been looking all over for these"

"No problem well you can get back to resting your eyes now"

Julia then left the room and Chan retrieved the other pill bottle from his drawer and poured the contents all into one bottle and placed the empty bottle in his bag which was on the chair at the side of his bed.

OUTSIDE THE ROOM

Julia picked up the phone and dialled a number.

"Hello its Julia he took them. You're welcome"

A Little While Later

Roxie approached Derek as he stood outside Chan's room she shot a look at Chan and then back at Derek.

"Please don't report Skye"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"She did something stupid and she knows that but she just didn't want to admit it to herself that he had a problem and she got caught up in it"

"Do you know how she got them?"

"No she just said I'd dropped her and Karev in it. I don't know what happened"

"Karev?"

"Yeah"

Derek turned to the desk and held his head in his hand and sighed.

"What now?" asked Roxie

"I set a trap"

"A trap? What do you mean?"

"When Skye gave me the bottle of pills back I asked Julia to return them to him pretending that she had found them and he took them from her"

"Oh Jesus, that has to be enough right?"

"Yeah I think it is. I'll go talk to the chief now"

"I'll go talk to Skye" Derek began to walk away "Wait! What about Skye?"

"I'll look the other way this time but she needs to think about her actions"

"She already is trust me"

A Little While Later

Derek, Roxie and the chief were stood inside Chan's room when Skye arrived she walked into the room in time to hear the end of Chan's response.

"I'm not a God damn addict this is ridiculous and I'm not going to a rehab centre"

"Chan you have lied to numerous members of staff and you took the pills Skye returned to me from the nurse"

"I don't know what you're talking about" he lied

Derek looked at the chief and he stepped forward.

"Chan as the chief and your boss when another member of staff comes to me and expresses concern for your wellbeing it is my responsibility to make thorough investigations"

"Chief…" began Chan

"I have done my investigations and I have found that a months worth of pills have still not been returned to the dispensary"

"No Skye gave those to Shepherd yesterday"

"No Dr McKenzie gave Derek, Karev's prescription"

Skye shot a look at the chief and then at Derek she knew something bad was going to happen to her but she still couldn't help but worry about Chan even though he was the reason she was in trouble.

"You tried to get a prescription from Roxie by telling her Shepherd had lowered your dosage"

"Chief…"

"Derek gave the nurse the pills Skye handed over and asked her to return them to you and you took them knowing that they weren't yours"

"I didn't"

Derek walked around the bed and opened the top drawer and pulled out the bottle of pills.

"That's the prescription that Skye gave me"

"They're two different doses" said Derek

Chan knew he couldn't explain himself and he looked at Skye he could feel her disappointment.

"Skye…you know me"

Skye began to shake her head "No I don't" Skye left the room and Chan tried to follow her put stumbled and fell into the chair Derek tried to help him.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE" he screamed

"Chan we're sending a shrink down to talk to you and she's going to decide the best option for you if she decides you need the rehab centre then her signature along with the chiefs is enough to get you into the centre on an inpatients program" said Roxie approaching him

"I'm not an addict" he said looking up at Roxie

"You've been through a lot, things we can't even imagine and we're not even going to pretend we can but if me and you swapped places and you were watching me do all these things to get hold of some vicodin you'd react exactly the same way because you're a good guy and you'd want to help me the same way we want to help you" said Roxie

Chan looked at Roxie "She hates me" he said referring to Skye

"She doesn't hate you, she hates herself for not helping you but don't worry about her we'll look after Skye"

Chan took hold of Roxie's hand "I'm not an addict"

"Chan will you go to the rehab centre?"

"I'm not an addict" he repeated

"Chan…"

The door then opened and the psychiatrist walked inside to see Chan gripping Roxie's hand and looking at her with complete desperation.

"Chan my name is Dr Helen Wright I've been called to speak with you"

"I'M NOT AN ADDICT!!" he screamed letting go of Roxie's hand and throwing his head back in fury unable to physically walk away from the situation

"Could you all please leave us?" asked Dr Wright

Derek and chief walked out of the room and Roxie looked at her friend and slowly made her way out of the room and joined her colleagues outside.

"This is what needs to be done" said the chief placing his hand on Roxie's shoulder comforting her

"I need to find Skye" she said walking away

A While Later

Roxie walked out of the elevator and found Skye stood at the nurses station with a pen in hand but her mind was far beyond paperwork. Roxie approached her and placed her hand on her friends and gripped it tight comforting her the best she could.

"I'm gonna lose my job over this"

"We'll go to the chief together ok?"

Just then Skye's attention was caught as Chan was rolled into the room he looked over at her and she stared back waiting for the remorse to come but all she could see was anger still she felt herself drawn to him and she approached him.

"What's happening?"

"We came to let you know that Chan will be going to Serenity Creek" said Dr Wright

"What about his physio?"

"Someone will visit him at the centre" replied the chief

"Chan…" Chan wouldn't look at Skye "Did he make this decision on his own?" she asked knowing that Chan wouldn't speak to her

The chief shook his head confirming that Chan was being admitted against his will to the rehab centre. Skye knelt down beside Chan but he still wouldn't look at her.

"I'll visit I promise"

"Don't bother" he said before trying to wheel himself away but Dr Wright soon caught up with him and continued to push him as the chief held back and helped Skye back to her feet.

"He doesn't mean that" said the chief reassuring her "We need to talk"

Skye shook her head as the chief walked away she was soon approached by Roxie who placed her arm around her friend letting her know she wasn't alone.

LATER

Alex arrived home and walked inside throwing his bag down in the corner and hanging up his coat.

"Ryan you here?" he called through the house when he received no reply he walked into the kitchen and got himself a beer he then walked back into the foyer where he saw Ryan struggling down the stairs with her suitcase. He placed down his beer and walked over to her and took the case from her.

"Thanks"

"Where are you going?"

"I was going to come and talk to you but I didn't want to humiliate or upset you at work so I wrote a note it's there on the table. I hoped I'd be gone before you got back"

"Ryan what are you talking about?"

"I spoke to Michael and…"

"You're going back to him?"

"It's not like it seems"

"Than tell me what its like"

"If I file for divorce now before the papers get to him he'll have moved everything. I'll get nothing"

"You think you deserve something?"

"After the way he's treated me I deserve it all and there's a lot of it"

"You don't need to go back to him I'll look after you"

Ryan smiled at Alex and she knew that he would but she felt that after the heartache her husband inflicted on her she had earned that money.

"I'm sorry but I need to go back and claim what's mine but I'll be back I promise" she said stepping forward and placing her hand on Alex's cheek but he just pulled away. "Alex you can be all pissy with me but I'm still going so don't ruin this take the opportunity to say goodbye to me properly"

"You were going to leave without telling me"

"I didn't want to do this" she said speaking of the palpable tension between them

"Ryan if you leave right now and go to him I won't be here when you get back"

Ryan looked at Alex and knew he was upset but she had to go and she pulled up the handle on her suitcase and looked at him once more.

"Alex I'm sorry but I need to do this"

Ryan then walked out of the house closing the door behind her and making her way to the taxi that had pulled up outside. She suddenly heard a loud clatter and looked back at the house. Inside the house Alex had turned over the table sending the lamp and bowl crashing to the floor both smashing into a thousand pieces. He then sat down on the step and held his head in his hands and rocked with frustration.

A MONTH LATER

Roxie walked up to Skye's door and knocked on it and stood waiting for a reply which shortly came. The door opened and a dismayed Skye stood before her.

"Hey" said Roxie. Skye walked into the house without a word said and returned to the couch where she sat surrounded by piles of text books. Roxie walked in and saw the chaos on her coffee table and found a spot for her pregnant body to rest. She looked at the books and then at her friend who still hadn't said a word. "Afraid you've forgotten how to be a doctor?"

"No I just don't want to go back to work anything less than perfect"

"Sweetie it's going to be fine"

"No it's not. People are going to be talking about it, people are going to be judging me, people are going to question my abilities. I can't let them think…"

"Let them think what?"

"Before you came I was the Bailey of the attendings. Before Chan no one; man or woman messed with me and no one questioned anything I did and my reasons for doing it and because of him that's all changed and now I have to go back to work after a one month suspension and build up a whole new reputation, accreditation and trust"

"But you don't hate him?"

"No I love him"

"Have you seen him?"

Skye looked down at the fabric beneath her as her fingers frantically clawed at the couch.

"No he won't let me" tears appeared on her cheeks and Roxie reached out for her friend and pulled her in close comforting her as she let out all her frustration and upset.

"It'll all be ok" said Roxie trying to reassure her friend as she stroked her hair

======================================================================  
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW - THANK YOU  
======================================================================


	29. Chapter 29

THE NEXT DAY AT THE HOSPITAL

Derek handed a chart over to the nurse and smiled as he was approached by Meredith.

"Good morning" said Meredith

"Good morning" replied Derek

"I thought that when we agreed you'd move in that you would actually be there at the house"

Derek smiled "I'm sorry I had an urgent surgery" he then kissed Meredith on the cheek "Now I'm going to go and sleep"

"Will you be home tonight?" Derek smiled with a wide grin "What?"

"Two weeks living together and you're already nagging me"

"I'm not nagging"

"Of course not. I'll be home tonight"

AT THE CHIEFS OFFICE

Skye sat waiting in the chiefs office for his arrival so he could do his grand 'You've been reprimanded' speech so that she could get back to work and meet her demons face to face. The door then opened and Richard walked in and made his way over to his chair.

"Good morning Dr McKenzie"

"Morning" she said waiting impatiently

"I've asked that you meet me here this morning so we can talk before you go back out onto the surgical floor. What you did although not life threatening for either Chan or Dr Karev was still wrong…"

"I know. I aided and abetted I know that's what will go down in the transcripts but chief the truth is I believed him. I never once thought that the guy I loved would lie to me the way he did. I never thought the guy who I loved would ever scam me or jeopardise my career for his own selfish needs more disgustingly a vicodin fix. I'm not a bad person and I most definitely am not a bad doctor I was just a fool in love who couldn't bear to see her fiancée in pain"

"I know you're not a bad person or a bad doctor no one is thinking that but your actions after you found out about Chan's lies are what I am concerned about. Those actions are the reason yourself and Karev were suspended. You should have come to me and told me that he tricked you and that you suspected he had an addiction not try to cover up for him by inflicting an injury on a first year resident and writing a prescription to replace the pills"

"I'm sorry but at the time I just didn't want to admit it kind of like you when Adele kicked you out and you hung onto the hope that you'd get back together. This is the same thing I hoped it was all in my head, I hoped he was the same old Chan who was just suffering with the pain. I didn't want to admit to myself that my Chan had gone and he was replaced by this lying, scheming and manipulative drug addict who spun a huge web of lies which he caught not only himself in but the woman he claims to love"

Richard looked at Skye and knew she regretted her actions and knew that even though she was conscious of her own decisions she was still just a victim.

"You will go back to work, you'll be straight back on the board…"

"But?"

"You will have an intern shadowing you"

"Spying on me you mean?"

"Looking after you"

"I don't need looking after"

"Regardless…"

"I have a babysitter. I get it can I go now?"

"Yes" replied Richard as he stood and watched a broken Skye leaving his office.

Skye walked across the walkover and made her way to the surgical reception and she could feel all the eyes on her burning holes into her flesh. Roxie approached her friend and looked at the room of people who were just leering at her friend.

"Does she have two heads?" screamed Roxie at all the people in the room who immediately turned their attentions away "Yeah I didn't think so"

"I have a babysitter"

"I know"

"Do you know who?"

"The other Grey"

"Oh you're kidding"

"A little ray of sunshine might be what you need right now"

"No what I need is a surgery. I need a surgery on the board so I can show all these non believers that I am still the best damn Ortho in this hospital"

"I might be able to help with that" said Roxie handing Skye a chart "I peaked at the charts"

"Thank you" she said opening it and reading over it a smile appearing on her face "A cervical fracture? This should have a wow factor"

LATER

Skye walked into the patients room where Derek was stood talking to him.

"Ahh Mr Wilson this is Dr McKenzie"

Skye walked over to Mr Wilson so he could see her as he laid flat on his back in a neck brace which was immobilising his neck.

"Hello Mr Wilson"

"Clark please"

"Ok Clark I'm the orthopaedic surgeon I'll be helping Dr Shepherd on the surgery. I'm just going to go over it the best I can to help you understand it but I apologise if it doesn't make sense and if you just stop me when you don't understand something I will do my best to explain it in greater detail"

"Yes Dr McKenzie is eager to accommodate people's needs" snarled a returning Karev as he entered the room with his interns

Skye shot a look at Karev and then looked back at the patient as Derek saw a usually assertive Skye back down from Karev's harsh words.

"Mr Wilson I will have to do a surgery to stabilize the neck and relieve pressure on the spinal cord. With the severity of your injury I am going to have to remove the damaged intervertebral disc. The discs work like cushions between the vertabrae. After the disc is removed, the vertabrae will be fused together to provide stability. Does any of this make sense?"

"I understand it dear but it just won't sink in"

"It's a lot to take in"

"Will I be able to walk?"

"Mr Wilson we would love to tell you that you're going to be fine after this but unfortunately we won't know ourselves until you wake up after the surgery" replied Derek stepping in

"Ok that's fair enough" said the patient trying to comply "Who was the voice who heckled the pretty doctor from before?"

Derek looked at Karev

"He is one of our residents, his name is Doctor Karev and he and his interns will be preparing you for surgery" replied Derek

"Ok" replied Mr Wilson

"Mr Wilson it was nice meeting you and I will see you after your surgery" said Skye

"It was nice meeting you too dear"

Skye made her way to the door and pulled Karev out with her.

"I didn't ask you to help, Ryan did. You chose to help me and now you're angry at me? You are not going to take out your frustrations on me. Yeah she walked out on you and went back to that creep but I'm the one here who has a drug addict fiancee locked up in a rehab centre who I haven't seen for a month so if anybody here has the right to take out their frustrations it's me. So drop the attitude"

Skye began to walk away

"Have you spoken to her?"

Skye stopped and turned back to look at Alex "No I haven't heard anything"

"Well when you do tell her she has my favourite shirt"

Skye shook her head and walked off

"Dr McKenzie" Skye looked around to see the other Grey approaching "Dr Webber assigned me to work alongside you"

"Yeah so I heard"

"I am so honoured. Although I haven't even thought of a specialty I admire what you do I mean the cervical fracture you have on the board today is an amazing surgery and it's an honour to just watch" Skye stopped in her tracks and looked back at Lexie.

"Lexie thank you for being so nice but today I am not in the mood to be bubbly and happy so maybe you could help me by toning yourself down a little bit" Skye then walked away as Lexie stood and watched her and the smile on her face soon turned to a frown and she nodded her head and followed her mentor

LATER

Mark walked into the on call room where he found Roxie asleep he smiled as he sat down beside her and calmly brought her out of her slumber. She rolled over and smiled at Mark.

"Hey"

"So I called the gyno squad to find out when your scan was and they told me you hadn't booked one"

Roxie sat up and looked at Mark.

"I never said I'd made an appointment you assumed I had"

"You need a scan"

"I know I've just had other things on my mind"

"More important than your baby?"

"Noooo" she said turning to Mark she took hold of his hand

"I've been worried about Skye and I just didn't get around to a scan"

"Yeah I can understand that but you have one for tomorrow and I'll make sure you don't forget"

"You made me an appointment?"

"Yes at two tomorrow afternoon"

"Wow...that was so sweet. Thanks" she said kissing him on the cheek

"So how is she?" he asked referring to Skye

"Distraught, trivial..."

"Trivial?"

"Yeah she thinks she has something to prove now because she's lost her moral standing or something"

"She has a point"

"I know but please don't tell her that. I spent the better part of last night trying to convince her no one felt any less of her. She's upset because Chan won't let her see him"

"Does she know you're visiting him?"

"Are you kidding she'd flip if she knew"

"Ok so our little secret"

"Thank you"

"Remember the scan tomorrow"

"I will"

Mark kissed Roxie and walked out of the on call room. Roxie collapsed back onto the bed but before she could sleep the door flew open and Karev backed in with a ravenous women kissing him and clawing at his scrubs. Roxie cleared her throat and Alex stopped and looked back at Roxie.

"If you don't like it then leave" snarled Karev

Roxie stood up and pushed past the amorous couple and made her way down the corridor where she saw Skye she approached her curious about her first day back.

"Hi" said Roxie arriving at her friends side

"Hey"

"So how's your first day back going?"

"Well I have the happy Grey following me around all day and all I want to do is swing for her and then I have Alex Karev walking around here like a bear with a sore head because of something my sister did to him"

"I think he's getting over that"

"What makes you say that?"

"He's screwing some skank in the on call room"

"Nice…you know those two really were made for each other"

"Ok apart from horny and happy how are you?"

"As good as I'm going to be right now"

"Dr McKenzie we're ready for Mr Wilson's surgery" said Lexie

"I'll see you later Rox" Skye then walked away to take on her first surgery since arriving back at work.

LATER AT JOES

Karev was sat at the bar drinking his beer he drank the remaining contents of the bottle and placed it down on the bar.

"Can I get another Joe?"

"I think you've had enough Alex"

"No I haven't I'll tell you when I've had enough"

"I'm sorry man but I'm not going to serve you anymore"

"Fine this bar sucks anyway"

A Little While Later

Karev walked up to Meredith's house to which he had returned with a brown bag in hand covering the bottle of vodka he was drinking. He stumbled up to the door and was surprised as he was joined.

"Hey" said a familiar voice

Karev turned and looked back at his company and smiled as he realised it was Ryan.

"Look who it is…the gold digging…tramp…no whore"

"Alex"

"Don't…don't you even dare try and explain yourself to me"

"I came…"

"…Because I don't care…about your explanation or about you" he said interrupting her before walking into the house

THE NEXT DAY

Mark walked into the bathroom and looked at Roxie as she finished getting ready.

"What are you staring at?" she asked

"You"

"Hmm…can you stop?"

"No I can't you shouldn't look so damn hot" Mark then smiled and Roxie turned to him

"You have that 'I know something you don't know' look in your eyes"

"Close, come with me" he said as he walked away

Curiosity got the better of her and she followed Mark through their almost complete apartment and stopped at one of their new bedrooms. Mark stood with a huge smile on his face and he opened the door and a burst of colour appeared as Roxie was amazed to see the mint coloured room. She stepped inside and smiled as she saw the pictures of bunnies, ducks, kittens and all the other cute baby stuff surrounding her. She then looked at Mark and approached him and kissed him softly.

"I can't believe you did this"

"Technically…"

"Ahh well the thought was there" she giggled before kissing him once more "Why mint?"

"It's neutral and it's not lemon"

"I don't care about the colour it's beautiful. Thank you"

AT MEREDITHS HOUSE

Karev awoke to the intoxicating smell of coffee as he turned over to see where the smell was coming from the vodka and beers from the night before hit him like a ton of bricks and he moaned in agony.

"Here take these" said Ryan handing him two painkillers

Karev opened his eyes and looked at Ryan and vaguely remembered the night before.

"Why are you back?" he asked still very angry

"I came back for you, I was there and he was trying to be the attentive husband and he was making me sick to my stomach. The whole time all I could think about was you and how incredibly dull he was and how sexy you were. I missed you"

"He moved the money?"

Ryan shook her head and sighed "No the money was there I could have taken it if I wanted to but I don't care about the money I just want the divorce I just want you"

"You left me. You left me for his money"

"I made a mistake but trust me I've paid for it"

"Aww poor little Ryan didn't get her payday"

"Oh you know what screw you Alex. I made a mistake, I left but I left because I feel like I have earned that money. All those nights he didn't come home all those women coming into my home when I wasn't there. I was a laughing stock and I was trapped because I have nothing. I should get my payout because he hurt me so badly"

"It was a whim marriage you said that yourself"

"Does that mean I deserve to be treated like that?" Alex knew she was right and didn't reply "What you need to focus on Alex is that I came back. In a couple of weeks I could have had those accounts frozen and everything would have been split right down the middle I would be a very wealthy but I gave all that away because I want you more and now I'm here and you're treating me just as bad as he did. I made a mistake and I'm sorry"

Ryan walked out of the room and immediately Alex knew he was being an ass and he wanted her back he wanted to tell her he missed her too and all he wanted was to be with her and that he was angry because she broke his heart but instead he just sat in his bed and dealt with his hangover.

AT THE HOSPITAL

Mark and Roxie walked out of the elevator together holding hands and kissed.

"Two o'clock remember" said Mark reminding her of her scan

Roxie walked over to the nurse's station where she found Skye writing on charts and her babysitter standing at the other end of the station.

"I am getting so sick of my shadow" said Skye

"I am so scared of having this scan"

"That's today?"

"Yep"

"Everything's going to be ok"

"You don't know that"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Because when anything is going good in my life something bad always happens and I am so terrified for this kid"

"Isn't it better to know today than to go full term without knowing?"

"I guess but what if there is a problem?"

"You can't deal with a problem until there is one so just go for the scan"

"Go for the scan" said Roxie encouraging herself

"I have to go I have pre-ops want to see a problem? I think the happy Grey has a magnet for bad moods because every time I move so does she" joked Skye with a huge smile on her face which made Roxie smile to see her friend making light of the situation

======================================================================  
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW - THANK YOU  
======================================================================


	30. Chapter 30

LATER

Roxie sat impatiently waiting for her scan and for Mark to appear she looked at her watch which said ten minutes past two. Roxie was soon joined by the OB.

"Roxie sorry about the wait we're a little backed up today. Come on in"

"Err Mark isn't here" she panicked

"Oh well I can have him paged but I really do need to get you in here and start this"

"Yeah we'll page him he'll answer a page I didn't think of that" she ranted nervously as she stood up and walked into the room.

A Little While Later

As Roxie was having her scan she had two thoughts running through her head 'please let my baby be ok' and 'where the hell is Mark?'.

"There's your baby"

Roxie turned and looked at the screen "That's my baby?"

"Yes it is"

"The baby's ok?"

"Perfectly healthy from the looks of things and by size I would say you are at least sixteen weeks"

"Sixteen?"

"Yeah you waited a long time for your first scan didn't you?"

"Sixteen weeks?"

"Yeah"

"Are you certain of that?"

"I'm an OB this is what I do. Why?"

"I just didn't think I was that far along that's all"

"Four months pregnant almost half way how are you feeling?"

"Tired"

"Yeah you will be at this stage but there's no reason you can't continue working but I would suggest taking things in your stride. I'm sorry Mark didn't get here but I'll run off a picture"

"Thanks" said Roxie as the OB left the room

LATER IN THE ON CALL ROOM

Roxie was resting in the on call room when Mark walked in, she looked at Mark.

"Where the hell were you?"

"I was in the OR it was an urgent surgery"

"You could have sent word I felt like such an idiot"

"I'm sorry babe" he said sitting down next to her "So everything's ok?"

"Yeah everything is…fine"

"That's my boy" he said with a smile

"She's tough like her Mom"

Mark giggled "Ok so names you ready for these?"

"Not really"

Mark smiled "First Mark Junior?"

"Vito"

"Why?"

"One Mark Sloan is enough"

"Oook what about Sam, Sam Sloan?"

"Sam? I like that"

"Austin?"

"Oh God Vito"

"Why that's a good strong name?"

"What do you have for girls names Atlanta, Tennessee?"

"Ok so no place names. Taylor?"

"Vito. You know I'm really concerned for the girls names because you paid special attention to these ones and they suck"

"A simple vito would have done. Jason?"

"Vito"

"Ok so Sam it is. What are your boys names?"

"Daniel?"

"Daniel Sloan? That's not bad"

"James"

"James Sloan? Ok you're picking good ones"

"Nicholas"

"Ok and her streak is over…vito"

"Nick Sloan what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing Nicholas Sloan I have a problem with"

"Better than Austin, ok Benjamin?"

"Benjamin Sloan…ok these are all good so far and the last one?"

"Rhys"

"Rhys Sloan?" Mark pulled a face "Nah it just doesn't go"

"Ok so Benjamin, James or Daniel?"

"I like James, James Sloan it has a future head of plastics ring to it"

"You're so weird…so James and Samuel"

"Not that it's important with the bump being a boy but what are your girls names?"

"You will be so disappointed when I have this kid. Felicity"

"Vito"

"There's nothing wrong with Felicity"

"Vito"

"Jessica"

"Like the Simpson chick? Vito"

"This is because I vito'd Austin isn't it?"

"No it's because I don't want a kid named Jessica"

"Amber"

"Amber Sloan? Vito"

"Oh come on"

"Next"

"Lucy?"

"Vito our kid needs a strong name"

"Jasmine?"

"Our kids a stripper?"

"You can't have five Vito's you have to pick one"

"Out of those five disasters I'd rather have the stripper"

"Jasmine isn't a stripper name"

"Trust me it's a stripper name…and she was quite a stripper"

Roxie hit Mark and he smiled "Ok I hate to ask but yours?"

"Taylor?"

"You already said Taylor for the boys"

"It's unisex"

"It's Vito"

"Collette"

"Oh God"

"Candice?"

"Oh yeah that's gonna happen, Candice will become Candi and before you know it we'll have a bimbo daughter"

"She won't get those genes from me"

"Vito"

"Natalie"

"Vito"

"This is because I hated all yours right?"

"No it's because yours suck"

"Chloe"

"Oh God out of those…Chloe but trust me my daughter will not be named Chloe"

Mark smiled "So Sam or James or Chloe or Jasmine"

"You know maybe we should just name the kid Vito"

"Good plan" he said giggling he then leant in and kissed Roxie and began to run his hand up under her shirt making his way to her breasts. He cupped Roxie's breast in his large masculine hand.

Just then the door opened and Stevens walked in.

"Dr Leoni oh my God…" said Stevens as she saw Roxie and Mark on the bed together "…Mrs Granger is ready for surgery" finished Stevens as she stood with her back to them. Mark smiled at Roxie and sat up soon followed by Roxie.

"Ok thank you Stevens"

Izzie then left the room and Roxie stood up and pushed her feet into her shoes and grabbed her lab coat as Mark watched on.

"So I guess I should get back to work then" said Mark hoping Roxie would give into temptation she smiled at Mark.

"I guess you should" she replied dashing his hopes "I have to go Mrs Granger is waiting for me but I will see you later" she said leaning down and kissing him on the lips before leaving the room.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Roxie walked out into a huge garden area and she watched as the rain poured down. Soon a hand crept onto her shoulder and she turned around and smiled as she was joined by Chan.

"Hi" she said hugging him with a smile on her face happy to see her friend looking so well

"Hey come on lets sit down" he said pointing to a table that was free under the sheltered area looking onto the rain drenched gardens

"So how are things?" she asked as she watched him walk unaided towards the table

He sat down in an exhausted heap and looked at Roxie "Other than the ankle and the chest I'm fine"

"I don't know I think you're doing great"

"I should be walking by now"

"Yeah but Chan you haven't been able to do the physio so it's going to be a slow process for what you've been through you're doing amazing"

Chan smiled "I'm sick of talking about me tell me about you. How are things?" he said putting his hand on her bump

Roxie smiled "Things are good"

Chan could see something was bothering his friend but he didn't want to pry "So the scan was ok?"

"Err yeah"

"You don't sound too sure"

Roxie looked at her friend and knew that anything she said was safe with him not only because he was a good friend but because he wasn't allowing anyone else to see him.

"I'm just further on than I thought"

"How far along are you?"

"Nineteen weeks"

"And you were thinking you were?"

"I don't know maybe three or four weeks less than this"

"Does it matter that you're more than you expected?"

Roxie looked at her friend and closed her eyes and tilted her head back in frustration.

"If I'm nineteen weeks…" she began looking back at Chan "…then there's a possibility that this isn't Mark's kid" as she said the words out loud her heart began to ache as she realised that in approximately twenty weeks time her life that she had built with Mark could be over.

"Derek?" Roxie nodded "Are you going to tell Mark?"

"I don't know; what if I tell him and then the kid turns out to be his? I'll have ruined this pregnancy for him and possibly Derek and Meredith's relationship and God only knows how Mark will react"

"Imagine how he'll feel if he prepares for this baby and it turns out not to be his"

"He's already started preparing, he's done the nursery, we've picked names…he wants this baby and I am so scared that it's not his"

"You and Derek only slept together a few times right?"

"It only takes one time to fall pregnant"

"Yeah I know that I was the head of OB" he said with a smile "it's just Mark can't be angry at you even if this kid does turn out to be Derek's but he can be angry at you for lying so I suggest you tell him the truth. Lying doesn't help anybody look at me"

"I know you're right but I just need to think about this before I act. Thanks for listening though and trying to help I appreciate this it was driving me insane I haven't even told Skye"

"How is she?"

"She's coping. She's a little confused as to why you won't let her see you"

"I just don't want her to see me in here. I want to get better before I talk to her"

"I understand that but maybe you could write her a letter or something just so she knows she's still apart of your life"

"They want me to ask for the ring back"

"They want you to get the engagement ring back?"

"Yeah it's like a promise or something like I take it from her and promise her that I'll give it her back when I'm recovered and I'm myself again or something like that"

"I don't think she's going to like that"

"I know she isn't but I need to do this"

"Maybe you could explain it to her in the letter"

Chan smiled as Roxie tried to pressure him into writing a letter.

"Chan it's time for your physio" said one of the orderlies

"Ok" said Chan standing up slowly as Roxie got to her feet

"It was great seeing you" she said hugging her friend

"Yeah you too and thanks for having problems they make mine seem insignificant"

Roxie giggled "I'm glad I could help" she said pulling away from her friend

They both slowly made their way inside but as they reached the door Roxie grabbed hold of the frame and held her stomach.

"Rox you ok?" asked Chan tending to his friend

"Yeah I'm fine I've just been getting some bad pains they come and go"

"Nineteen weeks is the time when your body begins to adjust to things such as carrying the extra weight twinges like that are normal but if they become severe you've got to go and see someone"

"I'm fine they're more uncomfortable than painful"

"Ok well Brian will you walk Roxie out please?" he asked the orderly

"Yeah of course I will"

"Thanks" said Roxie to the orderly she the kissed Chan on the cheek "Write to Skye"

"I will" he promised with a smile as he watched his friend leave

A WEEK LATER

Roxie sat on the chair behind the desk with her eyes closed taking deep breaths in and out she was soon joined by Skye.

"What are you doing?" she asked

"I'm am trying to calm this kid down it won't stop kicking me"

"It knows you should be relaxing"

"I am relaxing look at me I look calm and tranquil don't I?" snarled the hormonal pregnant woman

"Have you thought about antenatal classes?"

"Thought about them but I don't want them" she snarled again

Skye decided to back off and stop talking to her friend about the baby and decided to speak about her own problems "I got a letter from Chan"

Roxie opened her eyes and looked at Skye "Oh?"

"Yeah he said that he was ok and that he was sorry he hadn't invited me but he didn't want me to see him in there"

"How do you feel about that?"

"Better that he's got in touch with me"

"So your minds at ease now?"

"Sort of he asked me to send him my engagement ring said that it was apart of his recovery but what if he doesn't want to give it back to me?"

"Chan loves you of course he's going to give it back to you"

"I want to know when"

"You just have to patient Skye"

"Dr McKenzie I have all your charts ready" said an always upbeat Lexie

"Shadows" smiled Roxie knowing that Skye was growing frustrated with her shadow at this point

"I'll talk to you later, promise me you'll relax"

"I promise" she said as Skye walked away

"You promise what?" asked Mark as he approached the desk

"To relax"

"Can you do that?" he asked sarcastically walking behind the counter leaning against the desk and staring at Roxie.

"Haha"

"You're getting really fat" said Mark with a devilish smile. Roxie smiled back at Mark "It's sexy" he said leaning down and kissing her sweetly "Are you ready for the scan?" he asked

"Err actually I had to reschedule it I have a lot of things on"

"Oh ok so when have you rescheduled it for?"

"Next Tuesday"

"Ok well I'll get back to work then and after work I'm going to take you out for a meal" he said walking back around the counter

"You are?" she asked with a smile

"Yeah you deserve it"

"Why are you being so nice?"

"I'm not being nice I just love you"

Roxie smiled "I love you too" Mark then leaned across the counter and kissed Roxie on the lips before walking away

"I'm not going to even ask why you just lied to him" said Bailey from behind Roxie turned to look at Bailey

"Good because it's none of your business" snarled Roxie as she stood up and walked away

A Little While Later

"Do you want to know the sex of the baby?"

"No"

"Are you sure because I can tell you right now"

"I'm positive I just want to know that everything is ok"

"Well you'll be happy to hear that everything seems perfectly fine. The foetal anomaly scan shows nothing to be concerned with"

"Great can I go now?"

"Err is there anything you'd like to ask? Anything that is worrying you?"

"No nothing at all"

"Then yes you're free to go"

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Roxie walked out of the OB wing and into the elevator and as the doors closed she backed against the wall in a huge sigh and closed her eyes as she realised she had to tell both Mark and Derek. Suddenly she began to cry uncontrollably and before she knew it the elevator doors had opened and Roxie was joined by a startled Skye.

"Roxie what's wrong?" she said as she held Roxie in her arms but she couldn't be consoled as she cried hysterically.


	31. Chapter 31

LATER IN THE DOCTORS LOUNGE

"Ok so there's a possibility this kids Derek's?" asked Skye handing Roxie a drink of water

"No it's not a possibility it's a certainty"

"How do you know that?"

"I already told you I don't have good luck. Things were going right for me so something had to come along and ruin it"

"I can understand how this is worrying to you but worrying yourself over something that might not even be an issue isn't good for the baby"

"I have to tell them. I can't keep pretending with Mark, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I let him believe he was the father then it came out that he wasn't"

"So when are you going to tell them?"

"I don't know, I have to deal with this delicately but I can't keep it up much longer. I had to lie to Mark about the scan today and come Tuesday he's expecting to go to my next scan with me"

"Sweetie we'll work this out" said Skye trying to comfort her friend

ELSEWHERE

Karev was stood talking to his interns making them feel as miserable as he was.

"Just go get it done and don't come back until you have" he ordered dismissing his interns "Morons" he snarled as he turned in frustration to the nurse who handed him his next chart as he turned in the direction of his patients room he stopped in his tracks as he saw Ryan before him.

"Hey" Alex ignored Ryan and walked past her to get to his patients room "You can keep ignoring me like this Alex but I'm persistent and I will get what I want"

"If that's me don't bother because I'm not interested"

"You know the weird thing, you had me sussed from day one. You knew me, you knew what I was and now you're acting surprised"

Alex stopped walking and turned to face Ryan "Not surprised, disgusted. You left me to go back to your husband so you could get your hands on his cash that makes you nothing more than a whore without a pre-nup"

"Do I have his money?" she asked

"That doesn't matter…"

"Do I have his money?" she shouted repeating herself "I thought you had to be smart to be a doctor but I guess you're the exception to the rule because I have never met a man who is so blind and stupid as you. We get everything we want from each other and more, I made a mistake and that's when I realised I had everything I wanted with you and I come back and now you're willing to throw all of this away because of your pride?"

"This isn't about pride this is about trust and I don't trust you. How can I?"

"I came back" she replied

"But you left" with that Alex left Ryan stood alone watching her man walk away

A Little While Later

Mark approached Derek and waited for his friend to speak to him.

"Are you ok?" asked Derek looking at his friend

"Roxie's avoiding me"

"Why?"

"I don't know we were fine earlier and now every time I get near her she finds a way to leave"

"Maybe she's just busy"

"No there's something going on. I saw her and Skye in the lounge and Roxie had been crying"

"Then you're speaking with the wrong person. You need to talk to Skye or even Roxie"

"Roxie will say she's fine and Skye will say whatever Roxie asks her to, it's the girl code"

"Well have you done anything wrong or…stupid?" asked Derek

"No"

"Maybe it's just hormones"

"Maybe" said a concerned Mark knowing he only had one option

LATER

Mark spotted Skye and approached her; she stared at Mark wondering why he was stood next to her.

"What?" she asked growing tired of the silence

"What's wrong with Roxie?"

"What do you mean?" she asked wondering just how much he knew already

"I saw you and her in the lounge, she'd been crying so what's wrong with her?"

Skye was relieved that he didn't know anything and quickly responded covering for her friend.

"She's pregnant, tired, hormonal…she just needed to let it out"

"So she's ok then?"

"Yep"

"Ok and you'd tell me if she weren't?"

"She'd tell you herself"

"Right ok well I'm gonna go and find her"

"Ok" said Skye watching him walk away as she did she caught a glimpse of Ryan "Ryan!" she called getting her sisters attention and Ryan approached her

"Hey"

"What are you doing here?" asked Skye hugging her sister

"Trying to talk with Alex but I think I've ruined it for good"

"He's just angry"

"That's what I thought but I've been back two weeks and nothings changed"

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Keep trying I guess. Just pray that he forgives me"

"Well if you hang around for another half hour I'm off"

"Yeah ok I'll be over at Joe's"

"I'll meet you there" replied Skye watching her sister leave

A Little While Later

Skye was in the locker room changing when Karev walked in and began to get changed.

"She's selfish, devious, manipulative, rude and incredibly annoying" said Skye getting Alex's attention "…but since meeting you call it irony but she's not as selfish, devious, manipulative, rude or annoying. Maybe it's because she pales in comparison to you. Whatever it is she's different and it's because of you"

"So what?"

"You're different too, you're softer, calmer, happier…I know she hurt you but you shouldn't give up on something or someone that brings out the good in you like she does and you do the same for her. She made a mistake, the biggest change for her is she realised and she came back, the old Ryan wouldn't have admitted that, the old Ryan would have gone, realised her mistake and kept on running but she came back because you mean that much to her. She said to me once that she knew you might hurt her but it was worth the risk for the possibility of living happily ever after with you. You don't have to jump back in to things but you could at least try to work things out with her, you know you're miserable just like she is. You'll find her at Joe's"

Skye walked out of the locker room leaving Alex to think. Skye waited for the elevator to open and she smiled as she saw her friend stood in the elevator.

"Mark saw you crying"

"I know"

"Ahh he found you. So what did you tell him?"

"I told him I was tired and hormonal"

"That's what I told him too, great minds and all that"

"Or great liars, this is not something I can do with the band aid approach"

"No it's not but you'll find a way to do this"

Roxie stared into space as the two of them stood waiting for the elevator to reach the ground floor so they could leave the hospital and their days behind.

AT JOES BAR

Ryan sipped at her drink and looked at her watch wondering where Skye had gotten to she then finished her drink and placed the glass down.

"Another in there please Joe" Joe took the glass and returned with a refill as Ryan shuffled through her purse looking for some money

"I've got that" said Alex handing Joe some money "and a beer please" Ryan looked at Alex

"Thanks"

Alex stared at Ryan for a lingering moment "Everyone makes mistakes" he said with a smile as Joe brought him his beer. Ryan smiled back and Alex sat down beside her as they discussed their relationship and future.

A WEEK LATER

Roxie sat on the couch in her fully finished apartment she admired the apartment thankful that the chaos was over. She rested on the couch exhausted from the pregnancy in general and the stress of the secret she was keeping from Derek and the man she loved.

"Hey babe" said Mark as he walked into the apartment he made his way over to the couch to join Roxie

"Hi" she replied before he kissed her softly and handed her a gift bag "What's this for?"

"Take a look"

Curiously Roxie opened the bag and pulled out the contents which was a white baby all in one which read 'I love NY". Roxie smiled at the gift which wrenched at her heart as the secret she was keeping was killing her. She looked at Mark who sat with a wide grin on his face.

"It's great" she said with little enthusiasm

"Do you know how hard it is to find an 'I love NY' all in one in Seattle?"

"I'm sorry it really is great it's just" Roxie hesitated "I need to talk to you"

"Ok but it'll have to wait till later because I'm gonna be late for work. You're in later right?"

"Yeah but I really need to talk to you"

"Ok well come and find me when you get to work" Mark kissed Roxie on the lips and walked away "See you later" before Roxie's pregnant being could move Mark had left the apartment and Roxie felt the opportunity and her bravery fade away and she sighed with absolute frustration.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie arrived at the hospital and frantically looked for Mark as her bravery returned and she had to speak with him.

"Derek have you seen Mark?" she asked

"No I haven't sorry. How are things?"

Derek was the last person Roxie wanted to speak with at that moment in time but she couldn't ignore him.

"Things are ok I just need to find Mark"

"He's in surgery" said Yang as she overheard

"When did he go?"

"About fifteen minutes ago"

Roxie's head dropped in frustration as once again her opportunity faded

"Are you sure you're ok?" asked Derek placing his hand on her shoulder. Roxie pulled away slightly and looked at Derek.

"If you see him tell him I need to talk to him" she said as she walked away.

A Little While Later

Roxie sat in the locker room where she was soon joined by Skye.

"Yang said you went 'all hormonal' looking for Mark"

"I have to tell him"

"And you're going to do that at work in the middle of his shift and at the beginning of yours because that's not going to be awkward"

"It's going to be awkward whenever or wherever I tell him. I just can't keep letting him buy all in one's" Skye looked confused at her friend who realised she didn't know "He bought an 'I love NY' all in one and gave it to me this morning"

"Have you even thought how you're going to approach this?"

"I can't over think this I just need to do it"

"Thought you couldn't do the band aid approach?"

"Well you tell me how to do this Skye because I don't know. I have no idea how to approach this" she said rubbing her head with frustration

IN THE CAFETERIA

Meredith was sat at the table alone when Alex approached and sat down beside her. He began to eat his lunch when he realised Meredith was staring at him with a smile on her face.

"What?" he asked with his mouth full

"I take it you and Ryan have made up or at least that's what it sounded like"

Karev smiled as he realised his and Ryan's antics had been detected

"We're back together yes"

"So you'll be moving out again?"

"Not any time soon. We're taking it slow"

"I'm happy for you, you two are made for each other"

Karev smiled back at his friend wondering if she was right and if he and Ryan were made for each other.

A FEW DAYS LATER

Roxie walked outside to find Chan doing his physio. He smiled as he saw her arrive and she watched as he completed the walk arriving at her with pride with breath to spare. She smiled with delight and hugged her friend.

"You're doing so well"

"I'm feeling better now I can do it without collapsing on my bed for the rest of the day" he said letting go of her and walking over to a table with her.

"That's amazing"

"So how are things?" he asked

"Still haven't told them" she divulged knowing that Chan just wanted the gossip

"Why not?"

"I just don't know how to do it. Whatever way I do this Mark's going to hate me and I can't deal with that"

"He deserves to know"

"I know he does" she said leaning on the table rubbing her head a few moments later she shook her head and began to breathe in and out slowly

"Are you ok?"

"Stress is not good for pregnancy"

"What's happening?"

"Just feeling nauseous, sometimes faint it's nothing"

"Just make sure you relax and stop stressing I know that's easier said than done but for yours and your babies well being you've got to try"

"I will"

"Well I may be able to keep an eye on you soon" he said with a smile

"They're letting you out?"

"They're talking about it, it might still be a while with the physio and that because I need a mild painkiller and anti inflammatory and they're worried about a relapse but at least they're talking about it"

"That's a good sign"

"Here's hoping" he said happy at the prospect

TWO WEEKS LATER

Roxie walked out of the scrub room after a very long surgery and made her way to the on call room where she planned to collapse in an exhausted heap. She opened the door to see Mark resting on the bottom bunk.

"Hi" he smiled as she stood at the door

"Hey"

"How's your patient?"

"Good just on her way to recovery I just came in here for a rest before I have to start on post ops"

"Well come on then" he said patting on the mattress "there's enough room for two of us"

"Maybe four months ago but not with this bump"

"We can still try"

Roxie smiled and walked over to the bed and laid down next to Mark who scooted over and turned onto his side. He smiled as he looked down at Roxie he couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. Mark then leant in and began to kiss Roxie who reciprocated for a moment before remembering her deceit and she pulled away.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing I just…I'm tired"

"You're always tired"

"I'm pregnant what do you want from me?" she snarled sitting up

"This isn't all because you're pregnancy; you've been avoiding me and pulling the 'I'm tired' excuse every time I come near you" Mark rose to his feet "What have I done wrong?" The door to the on call room opened "Get out!" screamed Mark to the unprepared intern who ran in the other direction

"That was uncalled for"

"Rox…"

Roxie knew that there was never going to be a perfect time to tell Mark but this was the best opportunity so far.

"Mark I…"

"Doctor Leoni there's a problem with Mrs Cunningham and she's coding" said an intern as he opened the door. Mark looked at the intern and then at Roxie furiously.

"I'm sorry I have to go" she said leaving Mark behind

LATER

Roxie sat outside the hospital on a bench waiting for Mark to finish work. Skye soon joined her and the two of them sat in silence for a longing moment.

"I'm scared of Chan relapsing" admitted Skye

"I'm scared of Mark leaving me" replied Roxie

The two women looked at each other and in a change of events Roxie comforted Skye.

"When he comes out of there, I'm either going to offend him by constantly hovering over him or I'm going to give him his space and if he relapses blame myself for not hovering…is this even making sense?"

"They won't let him out of there unless they think he's ok and when he does come out he'll be having counselling and he'll be in a 12 step program. He'll be fine"

"I hope so I miss him"

Roxie smiled feeling slightly guilty as her friend didn't know she had been visiting Chan. Derek then approached Roxie and Skye.

"Do you not have homes to go to?" he asked jokingly

"I'm waiting for Mark"

Derek gave a confused look "He left about an hour ago"

"He did?"

"Yes"

"Oh well I'll go then" replied Roxie wondering why Mark had left work early and where he'd gone

"Goodnight then ladies" said Derek as he walked away

"Come on I'll give you a ride" said Skye standing up and pulling up her pregnant friend to her feet.

Then they made their way over to Skye's car.


	32. Chapter 32

THE NEXT MORNING

After arriving home to find the apartment empty Roxie sat up waiting for Mark to return home ready to speak to him but she fell to sleep before he got there. Roxie awoke to find she'd fallen to sleep on the couch she knew that Mark had been home as she woke with a cover over her. She pushed the cover off and sat up she then rose to her feet and walked into the bedroom where she expected to find Mark but he wasn't there.

"Mark" she called through their large apartment as she walked back through she spotted a post-it on the refrigerator. She made her way over and read the post it.

'Gone to work'

Roxie sighed as she knew the day ahead was going to be a hard one.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Alex walked in hand in hand with Ryan and kissed her goodbye as he headed to the locker. Ryan with a happy face made her way over to Skye who couldn't help but look.

"So things are back to normal then?"

"Not completely but they're getting there"

"Happy to hear it so will he be moving back in anytime soon?"

"No we're taking it slow"

"Seems sensible. So what are you doing with yourself today?" asked Skye

"I'm going to Seattle University"

"What for?" asked Skye curiously

"I'm going to become a nurse"

"A nurse? You?"

"Yes what's so hard to believe about that?"

"You studying, you committing to something for four years, your lack of compassion"

"Oh wow Ryan that's great I'm so proud of you" Ryan mocked

"If this is what you want go for it but its hard work"

"I was a good student at high school I had a 3.0 GPA"

"What about the costs?"

"Promise not to tell Alex?"

"Ok…"

"I'm getting my settlement"

"How? He just gave it up?"

"Turns out one of his conquests is pregnant which means I have proof enough to divorce on the grounds of adultery and he can't fight it"

"Well congratulations?"

"Skye I know you don't think I can do this but I want to, and I think I can. I'm tired of not doing anything with my life"

"And what are you going to do for four years while you study?"

"Oh Skyler I haven't thought it through yet but just be happy for me" snapped Ryan before walking away

Skye sighed as she realised she'd offended her sister.

ELSEWHERE

Roxie walked onto the surgical floor and made a beeline for Mark.

"Where were you last night?"

"What do you care I wasn't with you and I thought that's what you wanted"

"Oh you're being ridiculous"

Mark took Roxie's hand and walked her into the conference room

"Why am I being ridiculous? My girlfriend doesn't want to come near me what else am I supposed to think other than you don't want to be with me?"

"So because you're not getting laid on a regular basis that means I don't want you in my life? Mark I'm exhausted physically and mentally. I do want to be with you there's nothing I want more but right now things are just too…exhausting. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you weren't wanted but I didn't mean to"

Mark looked at Roxie and knew she was exhausted as the pre-pregnancy Roxie would have chewed his ass out for being such a selfish jackass where mid-pregnancy Roxie just relinquished. Mark wrapped his arms around Roxie and they held each other tight.

"I'm sorry" Mark whispered in her ear "I'll make it up to you tonight me and you in front of the TV with a takeaway"

"Sounds good" smiled Roxie pulling away and looking up at Mark wondering to herself if this would be the last night they'd spend together knowing she had to tell him.

LATER AT MARK AND ROXIES APARTMENT

Roxie placed a beer and two plates on the coffee table and sat down waiting for Mark to return with the food watching TV as she did. Soon after the door opened and Mark arrived back.

"I'm back" he called as he appeared around the corner to find Roxie with everything all set up he walked over and handed her the DVDs.

Roxie checked the titles and smiled "Very good choices Dr Sloan"

"I have excellent taste" he said smiling and leaning over for a kiss he then unloaded the bag of the contents and Roxie opened the cartons to the amazing smell of sweet and sour chicken.

"Yum" smiled Roxie as she spooned the food onto her plate

Mark sat down beside her and looked at her plate.

"That looks good"

Roxie smiled at him and fed him a forkful of her dish.

"Is it good?" she asked

Mark chewed the food and nodded all the while looking deep into her eyes he then moved in and kissed Roxie shortly Mark leant her back and the kiss soon turned into a deep, intoxicating physical embrace.

THE NEXT DAY

Skye walked over to Roxie in the cafeteria who was sat alone at a table. She smiled as her friend approached.

"Hi"

"Wow you look happier" noticed Skye

"I am"

"Did you tell him?" asked Skye curious why she was so happy wondering if the weight had been lifted

"No not yet"

"Then why so happy?"

"Because for the first time in a long time me and Mark were ourselves like we were before…everything. It was nice and I missed it. I don't want to lose that"

"You're not going to tell him are you?"

"He never has to know"

"What if it's Derek's?" asked her friend absolutely disgusted by her friends deceit

"What if it isn't?"

"So what you're going to go full term have the baby and then ask for a swab of saliva from them both?"

"Derek was a mistake. Why should I pay for a brief error of judgement for the rest of my life? If this kid is Derek's it's going to ruin both our lives so maybe it's better if the baby isn't his"

"That's not something you can decide Rox…" Skye paused and looked at her friend shaking her head as she realised what her friend was insinuating "…you're not going to tell either of them? You're just going to have the baby and have it call Mark Daddy? What about Derek? If that's his child he deserves to know"

"He hasn't even approached me querying the possibility"

"That's because they think you're only five months along. They don't even know he's a possible candidate"

"Skye this is my life not a presidential election. I don't get to choose who's genetics this child shares but I do get to decide if they blow my world apart. I love Mark and we both really want this"

"Oh well that's ok so long as you 'really' want it" snarled an outraged Skye as she stood up and walked away from the table

LATER

Roxie stood on the walkover looking at the view and watching the people below. She wondered to herself if she was crossing a line by keeping the father's true identity a secret. At that time she felt large arms surround her and hands on her stomach rubbing the baby bump. She leaned back and rested her head against the familiar chest and closed her eyes.

"Want to go home?" asked Mark and Roxie nodded.

Mark let her go and they both turned around straight into Skye who was making her way over the walkover she didn't even look in Roxie's direction triggering Mark's suspicion.

"Have you two fallen out?"

"Yeah but it's nothing she's just being stubborn" she lied wondering to herself when the lies would end knowing it was all down to her but at that moment in time she couldn't bring herself to break apart her life.

A WEEK LATER

Doctors surrounded the bed of a new patient present were Yang, Grey, Leoni and McKenzie who was examining the obvious tib/fib fractured that had pierced the skin.

"Dr Yang…" said Roxie urging Yang to begin with the patient run down

"Jugleno Sebastian, 31…"

"Gugliehno Sebastiani" interrupted the patient

"Excuse me?" asked Yang

"My name is Gugliehno Sebastiani"

"Oh ok Jugle…"

"No Guglieh" he said correcting her pronunciation

"Gugleno…" replied Cristina

"Call me Joe" said the frustrated Italian

Roxie smiled "Gugliehno Sebastiani, 31 presented with…" the patient looked over at Roxie and smiled as she pronounced his name perfectly

"Severe abdominal cramps and nausea" continued Yang

"He also arrived at the ER unconscious was found in his apartment by his cleaning lady" finished Grey

"Ok Mr Sebastiani my name is Dr Leoni and…"

"Leoni? Italiano?"

"No it's my marital name"

"Ahh and your maiden is not Italian?" he asked curiously

"No Puerto Rican"

"You're Hispanic?" asked Yang

"No my great, great relations were and my fathers side of the family. Why are we talking about my families heritage? Mr Sebastiani"

"Gugliehno please"

"Gugliehno you've been experiencing abdominal pain, nausea is there anything else?"

"No Dr Leoni I just had stomach ache"

"You don't pass out from stomach ache" exclaimed Yang

"No vomiting, lack of bowel movements?"

"Ahh yes but I take the laxatives?"

"Are you kidding?" asked Yang

"Dr Yang please"

"Ok I'm just going to do an abdominal exam" said Roxie as she examined him "Ok his stomachs distended Dr Yang get me some x-rays and a CT then book an OR I want to know what I'm dealing with to see is this is paralytic ileus"

"Oh come on this is not paralytic ileus this is definitely a mechanical obstruction" said Dr Yang

"Most likely but I have to rule it out"

"This is just a waste of time" exclaimed Yang

"Dr Yang you do not argue with my decisions you just carry out my orders and I am asking you to get x-rays and a CT"

"Fine"

"Gugliehno I'm getting some x-rays and a CT done you seem to have an intestinal obstruction but I need to know what kind before I proceed with surgery. With the lack of bowel movements and laxative use it's most likely your body was severely dehydrated which caused you to collapse which was actually a lucky thing because undiagnosed or untreated for much longer and the outcome could have become a lot more serious resulting in possible kidney failure, tissue death which could cause a tear in your intestinal wall which could have lead to peritonitis which is a very serious and life threatening condition"

"I should have come sooner"

"Yeah you should have immediately when you started feeling ill. You shouldn't have kept it to yourself"

Roxie then heard Skye exhale in disbelief whilst shaking her head which didn't go unnoticed by Meredith and Cristina who gave each other looks of curiosity.

"Dr McKenzie is there a problem?" asked Roxie

"Not with the patient" she said standing up and walking by Roxie to the head of head bed "Well nothing I can't fix anyway"

"Yang" called Roxie as she walked out of the room followed by Cristina who went to set up the OR while Skye spoke to the patient.

LATER IN THE OR

As Roxie, Skye, Meredith and Cristina worked on the patient the tension was palpable and Cristina and Meredith kept sharing glances.

"I can't believe this guy didn't come into the ER sooner he must have been in agony"

"People do stupid things Grey…" started Skye looking over at Roxie "…they hide things hoping that if they don't deal with them they'll magically go away and as you can see with Mr Sebastiani that's not the case, they don't go away they just get worse and worse until finally all the secrets you've been hiding come out and are laid out on the table in front of you causing you and the people who love you a lot of pain and sorrow"

Cristina looked at Meredith once more both of them knowing it had nothing to do with the patient but to do with their ongoing dispute.

"Ok I'm out of here, Grey you can finish off here right?"

"Yeah" she said eagerly

"Ok then" said Skye leaving the room

LATER

Roxie was sat writing up notes for Mr Sebastiani when Mark approached the desk.

"Hi"

Roxie looked up and smiled at him just then Skye approached the desk.

"Can you add these to Mr Sebastiani's file please?" she asked handing the notes over to the nurse rather than Roxie who was sat with the file open.

"So you haven't made up then?" asked Mark

"No we haven't"

"What is this about?" he asked wondering why the argument between them was lasting so long

"It doesn't matter we'll work it out eventually just stop worrying about it"

"Ok well I'm going into surgery now to fix the face of a seven year old girl with orbital hypertelorism"

"Wow that's impressive"

"I know" he said with a conceited smile

"Good luck" she said wishfully as he walked away as she watched him walk away she became aware of a presence in front of her she looked back and smiled as Derek stood smiling at her. "Hi"

"Hello how are you?"

"I'm good"

"And the baby?"

Roxie's heart sank in her chest as Derek asked about her unborn child unable to stop wondering about the child's biological father whether it was Mark or Derek himself.

"There's no complaints" she replied with her hand on her stomach

Derek smiled "Good"

"Dr Leoni Mr Sebastiani is awake" said Cristina

"Ok I have to go"

"Ok" he replied still smiling

A FEW DAYS LATER

Roxie sat on a bench in the locker room with her eyes closed and breathing deeply when she was joined by Izzie.

"Are you ok?" she asked

"Ah hah I'm just preparing for the day ahead"

"Oh like meditating?"

"Yeah something like that" she said opening her eyes

Izzie proceeded to get ready for work and Roxie rubbed her stomach before standing up and walking out of the room.

A Little While Later

Roxie was stood leaning against the nurses station as Karev ran through the charts and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Are you listening?" asked Karev

"Yes"

"Hey are you ok?" he asked now concerned for her

"I'm fine"

"You don't look it"

"I was told you were on gyno squad for a while"

"Yeah with Addison Montgomery why?"

"What effect can stress have on a pregnancy? Realistically not a text book answer"

"It can lead to premature births, low birth weight babies, increasing heart rate, high blood pressure and can produce chronic anxiety I don't have to tell you these are all bad for the baby. Why are you having problems?"

"I've been feeling nauseous that's all. I expected it to subside by now"

"It's just unfortunate some women have nausea all through their pregnancy"

"Oh great thanks"

"I'll tell you what go to the cafeteria get some water, relax, people watch take your mind off of whatever it is that's stressing you and I'll do rounds"

Roxie smiled at the changed Karev in front of him "Thanks I think I might"

LATER

Roxie was walking down the corridor when she was joined by Mark.

"Hi" he said as he appeared beside her

"Hey" she said rubbing her stomach

"You ok?" he asked with concern stopping her from walking

"I'm…I'm just…" Roxie doubled over in pain

"Roxie" he said concerned "What's wrong?"

"I just…nausea…"

"Nausea?"

"Nausea that's all"

"This isn't just nausea"

"You know what I'm going through? You can feel this?" she snarled before yelping in pain and stumbling into Mark's arm "Oh God"

"Roxie! Roxie what's wrong?"

Roxie then became dead weight as she fell unconscious in Mark's arms. He guided her safely to the ground and screamed for help.

"Get a gurney down here and page OB"

Staff ran to Roxie's aid and Karev knelt down beside her.

"She's been ill all day"

"Why didn't you tell me?" screamed Mark

"She said it was nausea man" he screamed back. Karev then noticed something and moved Roxie's leg to find her lab coat was drenched in blood.

"She's haemorrhaging" exclaimed Karev

Mark backed away and stood up and with his head in his hands he walked towards the wall unable to look back at Roxie through fear of what may happen. Soon Derek arrived and looked down at Roxie immediately seeing the blood he then turned to his friend and pulled him into a hug which Mark fought for a moment before relenting and letting his friend comfort him as the staff of Seattle Grace tried to help Roxie.


	33. Chapter 33

Authors Notes: If there is anybody out there still reading this I apologise for the delay personal things getting in the way but I will attempt to post a chap each day for the next week to bring you up to speed. Sorry again and thanks for ready Enjoy!!

A Little While Later

The staff frantically tried to help Roxie as she laid unconscious bleeding heavily.

"Come on where is she?" screamed Karev referring to the new head of OB as he did an ultrasound on Roxie

The door opened and the new head of OB walked in "What do we have?"

"She's around twenty five weeks and was complaining to me earlier about nausea and then collapsed in the corridor, severe haemorrhaging. This is a placental abruption right?"

"With this amount of blood I would say so and this is going to require a transfusion"

"A transfusion?"

"Did I stutter Dr…Karev?" she asked looking at his badge

"Ok lets do this get me some O-" ordered Karev shouting at the intern who headed for the door.

OUTSIDE THE ROOM

The door opened as the intern ran out the room to retrieve the blood and a frantic Mark tried to get a glimpse of Roxie but the door closed before he could.

"Oh Jesus" said Mark as he tilted his head back with frustration

"She's going to be fine" said Derek reassuring his friend

"You don't know that"

"Mark you have to have faith"

"The woman I love is in there haemorrhaging and my unborn child if not dead already has got little to no chance of survival at this gestation period. Faith will not help me right now"

"Ok" replied Derek not arguing with his distraught friend

The intern ran back with the blood.

"What's happening?" asked Mark as the intern ran back in "What's happening?" he screamed at the closed door he then made an attempt to get into the room but was wrestled back by Derek

"Mark you can't go in there. You're no help to her in this state. You wouldn't allow a patients family in the room there is no exception for you"

"I need to know what's happening?"

At that moment the door opened and Alex appeared.

"Hey"

"What's happening?" begged Mark needing to know

"Roxie has a grade three placental abruption"

"Oh my God" said Mark in sheer fear for Roxie's life

"She's got to have a blood transfusion which is what they're doing right now. The fetal monitor is being setup to check on the baby. This stage of abruption however is severe and there is a chance the baby may not survive and you have to prepare yourself for that"

"She didn't say anything" said Mark aloud not directed at anyone in particular

"Get back in there and find out more please" pleaded Derek

Karev nodded and returned to the room.

ELSEWHERE

The staff stood around at the nurses station waiting for news about Roxie when Skye arrived following surgery. She noticed the group of doctors and nurses and curiosity got the better of her.

"Why are we all stood around?"

Meredith looked at Skye and then back at the group "Oh my God you don't know?"

"Know what?"

"It's Roxie…"

BACK OUTSIDE ROXIE'S ROOM

Skye barged through the door into the corridor to find Mark in pieces outside with Derek comforting him. Mark looked at Skye and she could see the fear in his eyes and she knew it wasn't good.

"You have to go in there"

"What?" asked Skye

"You have to go in there and find out what's happening please" begged a desperate Mark

Skye nodded and walked inside the room to see the blood hanging and the fetal monitor readings showing the babies distress.

"Alex…"

Karev turned and looked at Skye and approached her.

"You shouldn't be in here"

"A blood transfusion?"

"She was haemorrhaging"

"What happened to her?"

"Roxie has a grade three placental abruption, the baby is in distress and now we're trying to find a way to get around this without delivering this baby here today"

"Oh my God" she said looking over at her friend

OUTSIDE THE ROOM

Mark was pacing up and down the corridor suddenly he stopped and looked at Derek.

"Addison"

"What about her?"

"Addison I need Addison here to look after her"

"Mark it's a two and half hour flight"

"I don't care Roxie needs her help"

"Mark…"

The door to the room opened and Skye appeared looking astonished.

"The babies in a lot of distress and the haemorrhage has caused Roxie to go into shock and there's fear that this may affect other organs, such as the liver, kidney, and pituitary gland"

"So what next?"

"They have to deliver the baby" stated Skye her voice trembling as she did so

Mark clutched at his hair and bit his lip to stop himself from screaming in dispair.

"They're going to take her into the OR now so if you want to see her you need to do it now"

Moments Later

Mark walked into the room slowly taking everything in as he did so and then his eyes finally met Roxie who was laid unconscious hooked up to all the machines her blood pressure was low he then caught the fetal monitor and saw the distress the baby was in.

"Mark…" said Derek urging him to move closer

"Has Dr McKenzie informed you fully?" asked the head of OB Dr Stanley

"Yes" replied Derek on Mark's behalf as he stared at Roxie

"I can't deal with this" said Mark walking out of the room

"Mark" shouted Derek chasing after him

"Ok Dr Karev you're on this case with me now get her moving to the OR monitoring the baby at all times"

"Is there anything I can do?" asked Skye

"We have no need for Ortho on this case thank you Dr McKenzie" said Dr Stanley

Skye stood and watched as they wheeled her friend to the OR for an emergency c-section.

IN THE OR

Dr Stanley and Karev worked on Roxie trying not to cause anymore trauma to Roxie's body than necessary. Karev's eyes kept moving to the fetal monitor as he grew more concerned for the babie's wellbeing.

"Ok get ready when you have the baby Karev do all that is necessary you're on your own while I help the mother"

"Roxie her names Roxie she's the head of general surgery"

"I'm aware of who she is Dr Karev now take the baby…" Dr Stanley placed the small and fragile baby into Karev's large masculine hands and he walked away to take care of the baby as Dr Stanley helped Roxie "…make sure the babies temperature is…"

"I know what I'm doing" snarled Karev as he looked down at the helpless baby before him who was fighting for life "She has a daughter and she doesn't know it"

"Well when she wakes up you can tell her"

"What if it's too late?" asked a worried Karev as he struggled to get the babies vitals stable

"Just try your best Dr Karev"

LATER

Mark, Skye and Derek sat in the waiting area desperate for some news on Roxie and the baby. Mark sighed with frustration and ran his fingers through his hair as he looked down at the floor in despair. Skye looked at Mark and prayed the news was good. Karev and Stanley appeared from around the corner.

"Mark" said Derek as he spotted them. Mark looked up and rose to his feet followed by Skye and Derek.

"Well?" he said impatiently

"Roxie had a severe haemorrhage which caused her to go into shock and this is why we had to deliver the baby. As you may know at this stage of gestation the babies chance of survival is…"

"Slim to none I know" said Mark interrupting

"No I wouldn't call fifty to eighty percent slim to none. The babies got a hard battle ahead but…"

"Fifty to eighty? At twenty one weeks?"

"Twenty one? Roxie was twenty five weeks" replied Karev

"No she was twenty one weeks"

"Dr Sloan I was on Addison's service long enough to know this stuff and I can promise you Roxie was twenty five weeks if she hadn't been there is no chance your daughter would be in the NICU right now"

"My daughter? I have a daughter?" asked Mark

"Is she ok? Is Roxie ok?" asked Skye

"Both of them are ok right now"

"Can I see Roxie?" asked Mark

"Sure" replied Karev

"There is just one thing your daughter's vitals although stable right now may drop drastically in the blink of an eye and she may need a blood transfusion but she's being closely monitored" said Dr Stanley

"Ok" replied Mark struggling to take all the information in.

"Right I'm going to check on your daughter and Dr Karev will take you to see Roxie"

A Little While Later

Mark kissed Roxie's hand before walking out of the ICU alongside Skye and Derek.

"How are you?" asked Derek

"Better for seeing her but I just want her to wake up and say something"

"I was the same way with Chan and she'll be fine Rox is a fighter"

"I want to go and see the baby" said Mark

"Ok lets go" said Derek

"No I want to do this by myself"

Derek nodded "Ok well I'll be outside"

Mark walked away to make his way to the NICU to see the baby as Derek and Skye stayed behind with intention to follow shortly after. Skye exhaled loudly and Derek looked in her direction and saw the worry in her eyes.

"Are you ok?" asked Derek sincerely concerned

"We weren't talking, we'd had another fight and we weren't talking to each other. When Chan had his accident I turned down his marriage proposal and stormed out the restaurant"

"Chan pulled through though"

"Yeah to become addicted to vicodin and lock himself away in a rehab clinic and refusing me visitation" Skye smiled knowing if she didn't she'd cry and she looked back at her friend "Chan pulled through but what if she doesn't? Or worse what if she does and then the baby never comes out of the NICU? Then she's just going to wish she were dead"

"You can't think like that"

"I'm a doctor I can't pretend"

"Being a doctor you have to learn to take the facts you know and douse them in a little faith because if you can't then this job will drive you insane. Sometimes although far fetched you have to believe in miracles because some times as doctors we see things happen that shouldn't, we see people survive who we believed wouldn't. Facts aren't certainties Skye so we don't know what will happen with the baby but we have to stay strong and not give up hope not only for the babies sake but for Roxie's and Mark's" Skye's heart sank as she looked at Derek the secret she was keeping was eating away at her but she knew it wasn't her place to say anything and she just smiled politely as Derek put his supportive arm around her.

AT THE NICU

Mark stood at the door of the NICU and was approached by a nurse who immediately recognised him.

"We have named her Baby Girl Leoni for the time being and she is hooked up to a lot of scary looking machines"

Mark looked at the nurse who then realised she was talking to him as though he weren't a doctor at that very same hospital.

"I just want to see her" said Mark

"Of course"

Mark followed the nurse and his heart began to beat harder and faster as he got closer to the incubator. He could see this tiny little person asleep inside and all his worst fears came to the surface as he began to breathe heavily with panic.

"That's her?" he asked looking in disbelief at this small defenceless little person

"This is her" replied the nurse

A Little While Later

Derek and Skye stood outside the NICU looking in checking on Mark and the baby. Derek's pager went off he checked it and looked at Mark and sighed.

"I have to go"

"I'll stay" said Skye knowing it was killing him to leave his friend just as it was killing her to not know what was happening with Chan

"Thank you" said Derek a little easier knowing someone would be there to let him know of any changes. He then walked away looking back at Mark as long as he could and finally exiting the room.

LATER

Mark had been sat staring at the incubator from the moment he entered the room and he just tranquilly watched her diaphragm moving up and down. For the first time since entering he sat back took his eyes off the incubator placed his head back and sighed as he struggled to come to terms with the days events. Suddenly the babies machine began to beep and Mark immediately jumped to his feet and looked at the baby who had stopped breathing.

"She's coding" he screamed as he lifted the lid off the incubator

Mark began CPR for seconds before the NICU doctor stepped in.

"Dr Sloan you have to step back" Mark ignored her as he continued "Dr Sloan you do not have clearance to practice here in the NICU please move away from the baby" Mark looked down at the baby who was still not breathing and he stepped away begrudgingly not trusting anyone else with his child. He was escorted out of the NICU after putting up a fight to the corridor where he was greeted by Skye who comforted him with a huge hug.

"Hey if she's anything like her Mom she'll pull through this" she lied as she worried about both the babies and Roxie's wellbeing.

"She can't die, she's never even seen her, Roxie's not seen her"

"She'll get the chance"

A Little While Later

Derek had reappeared after Skye paged him and he along with Skye and Mark frantically waited for the NICU doctor to bring them some news. The doors opened on the NICU and the doctor walked out Mark rose to his feet and waited for her to speak.

"Preemies commonly have respiratory difficulties and need supplemental oxygen which was what we had the baby on but in some cases the preemie may develop bronchopulmonary dysplasia which involves…"

"We know what it involves" said Derek cutting her off as he could see the words were hitting Mark like a thousand knives

"In most cases this is nothing to worry about preemies with BPD may need supplemental oxygen and medications for prolonged periods until their lungs function better by themselves"

"Oh Jesus" said Mark at the news "Can I come back in and see her?" he asked

"Of course" said the doctor

Mark followed the doctor back inside the NICU and returned to the babies side.

"That was…what if the baby had died. Roxie wakes up and the first thing we have to tell her is her babies dead. I don't want to have to do that"

"This is common in preemies just like the doctor said" replied Derek trying to calm Skye and assure her things would be fine although he himself didn't know they would "Remember we have to just be strong"

Skye nodded her head agreeing with him silently knowing that was all she could do for her friend and her premature baby.

LATER

Skye sat outside in the waiting area as Derek paced for a while soon the door opened and Meredith appeared bearing coffees along with the chief and the residents.

"How are things?" asked Meredith

"Roxie's stable and the baby stopped breathing earlier but she's stable too at the moment. Is there an update on Roxie? Has she woken up yet?" he asked directing his question to Karev

"Not yet" replied Karev

"How is he?" asked Izzie looking into the room to see Mark pacing around the incubator.

"He hasn't visited Roxie since immediately after the c-section" stated Skye "It's like he's scared to leave the baby, he took his eyes off her for a second and she stopped breathing"

"He hasn't been back to check on Roxie?" asked the chief

"No" said Derek shaking his head

"Has he even asked?" asked Karev

"No or at least not us" replied Derek

"Poor guy, I know he's Mark Sloan and he's a dog but he doesn't deserve this" said a compassionate Izzie

"None of them do all we can do now is pray for them all" replied the chief

IN THE NICU

The nurse approached the incubator and hung the chart on the end and looked out the window.

"You have quite a gathering outside" she said to Mark who looked over and saw everyone

"Tell them to go home"

"I can tell them but I doubt they will"

"Just tell them" said Mark not wanting his friend to stand looking in waiting for impending doom

Mark watched as the nurse walked outside to talk to them and he then picked up the chart to look over things he read the patient info sheet which read.

Patient Information

Name: Baby Girl Leoni

D.O.B: 02-10-2008

As he continued to read through the chart he stopped and squinted as though confused he then shook his head and looked again with a look like he hoped he'd made a mistake.

"No" he said aloud shaking his head

"What's wrong?" asked the nurse returning

"This can't be right her blood type can't be AB-"

"It is we check all these things as they arrive in NICU"

"No she can't be AB- it's impossible. For her to be AB- that would mean I'd have to be B- and…" Mark stopped mid-sentence and like a puzzle the pieces started to fit her gestation, her bad moods, everything. Mark put the chart down and walked away.

"Mark" called the nurse but he continued to walk for the first time since arriving in the NICU he walked away from the baby by his own steam and walked through the door where his friend regardless of being told to leave still remained.

"Mark are you ok?" asked Skye as he walked by her and approached Derek who looked at his friend bewildered

Suddenly Mark drew back his arm and punched Derek square in the jaw the chief and residents baffled as to his actions and Skye fully aware she closed her eyes upset for her friend who laid unconscious in the ICU oblivious to it all.

"Sloan!" screamed the chief

"You had to do it didn't you? You had to get retribution for me and Addison whether intentionally or not"

"What are you talking about?" screamed Derek

"You sleep with Roxie and just as my life seems to be working out finally your payback is complete and my seemingly perfect life has now been blown apart"

"What? You're making no sense I don't understand…"

"That's your kid in there" he screamed at the top of lungs causing everyone within ear shot to stop and stare "Clear enough for you?" asked Mark as he stormed off

Meredith looked at Derek who was so dumbfounded by the bombshell he hadn't even looked for Meredith's reaction. Meredith walked away followed by her friends leaving a stunned Derek with the chief and Skye. Derek fell back into his seat as the chief and Skye stared at each other wondering what was going to happen next.

================================================ PLEASE READ AND REVIEW ============================================================


	34. Chapter 34

THE NEXT MORNING

Derek still not sure the news had sunk in was in the NICU with the baby as Skye sat outside praying Roxie would wake up so she could tell her all that had happened. A few moments later the door opened and Derek emerged still looking slightly dumbfounded he looked at Skye who gave a small smile.

"Did she know?" he asked Skye who didn't know how to respond

"Know what?" she asked acting dumb to buy herself some time

"Don't play games with me Skye" just then the corridor doors opened and a familiar face appeared as Addison walked in

"Derek" she said wrapping her arms around him "How's Roxie? How's the baby?" How's Mark? Is Mark in the NICU? No of course not he'll be with Roxie right?" said Addison frantically

"What are you doing here?" asked Derek

"Mark called me I got on the first plane"

"Well thank you for dropping everything to come here but Mark had no right"

"Derek you're still my family divorce or not and so is Mark and he requested me for this case…"

"It's mine" exclaimed Derek shutting Addison up "I mean she's, she's mine"

"The babies yours?" she asked in amazement

"I didn't know in fact I only found out an hour ago and you can imagine how awkward this is being here unable to help by baby whose mother is my best friends girlfriend whilst my former mistress and current girlfriend is probably drinking her weight in tequila and now my ex-wife turns up to offer her help in giving my child of which I've known about for an hour the best neonatal care possible"

"How's Mark?" asked Addison trying her hardest to take all the information in as was everybody else

IN ROXIE'S ROOM

Mark sat back in the chair staring at Roxie with thoughts spiralling in his head and the anger bubbling beneath the surface. Mark sat up as he saw Roxie move slightly he then rose to his feet and walked over to the bed to see her eyes open slightly. Roxie tried to open her eyes and concentrate on Mark as she fought her heavy lids.

"How are you?"

"Sore" said Roxie "What happened?"

"You fainted, you started to haemorrhage severely and they had to do an emergency c-section" Mark saw the fear in her eyes and wondering if it were fear for her baby or fear for her secret "It's a little girl just like you said. She's in the NICU, earlier she stopped breathing and they got her back, she's got BPD and they're giving her oxygen"

"Mark"

"She's beautiful, she definitely takes after you and she is so tiny maybe she's the right size for twenty five weeks"

Roxie could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew. Roxie shook her head in disbelief.

"Mark…" she began

"Derek's with her, I just wanted to make sure you were ok…and you are so I'm going to go"

"Mark please"

"No…" replied Mark staring at Roxie who couldn't stand to see the hatred in his eyes directed at her "No Roxanne it's done, we're done" Mark then left the room and Roxie breathed heavily as she tried to stop herself from crying over the events of the day. Soon the door to her room opened and Dr Stanley appeared to do checks on her.

LATER AT ROXIES ROOM

Roxie laid in bed waiting for someone to bring news of her baby or to take her to the NICU to see her. She heard the door open and turned to look but was stunned to see Derek in front of her.

"Please don't start" she begged him knowing she couldn't handle anything else that day

"Did you know?" he asked looking at her needing to know

"I wasn't sure"

"But you knew there was a possibility?"

"Derek please I'm tired, I'm scared…I can't do this right now" she said as tears ran down her cheeks

Derek handed her a tissue and sat down in the chair beside her.

"She's just over a pound in weight and twelve inches long. She's incredibly small and strong just to get this far"

"I got told she stopped breathing and has BPD?"

"Yeah but she's fine and as she grows stronger her respiratory problems will all work themselves out"

Roxie sat back and sighed a sigh of relief as finally someone had told her something positive.

"I'm sorry" said Roxie looking over at Derek "I thought I had longer to deal with this"

"It wouldn't have ended up any differently. Mark would still have punched me…"

"He punched you?"

"The baby he's been waiting to see and falling in love with for the last few months turned out not to be his but his best friends. What did you expect from him?"

"I'm sorry"

"So you keep saying" replied Derek sitting forward in his chair and running his hands through his hair with frustration "I'm going to leave because I have to go and find Meredith and speak to her about this whole thing" Derek rose to his feet

"Wait" Derek looked at Roxie "I need to see her please" Derek looked at her and couldn't bear to see the fear in her eyes he knew she needed to see her baby to see she was fighting.

"Ok"

A Little While Later

Derek wheeled Roxie into the NICU and she could see her small defenceless daughter in the incubator. Derek wheeled her up to the side and Roxie looked in to see the tiny mite taking big breaths as her diaphragm moved rhythmically she smiled knowing Derek was right and she was fighting. Derek could see Roxie welling up and he placed his arm around her comforting her.

ELSEWHERE

Cristina walked into Joe's bar to find Meredith sat drowning her sorrows with a bottle of tequila.

"I know we're hating him right now but he did nothing wrong"

Meredith looked at her usually pessimistic and callous friend who was showing remorse for Derek.

"He fathered Roxie's baby"

"Yeah but you knew about them sleeping together and you said he'd done nothing wrong because you two weren't together at the time. Now he's got a baby sitting in the NICU a baby that he didn't know about until a few hours ago and you're angry at him for it"

Meredith drank her drink "I'm not angry at him, I'm angry at the situation. His first child was the outcome of a cheap affair with his best friends…I don't know what she is"

"Not much anymore, you saw Sloan's reaction"

"How do I go back in there and be supportive? How do I go in there and hope that my boyfriends illegitimate child pulls through?"

"The kids the innocent one in all of this" replied Cristina

IN THE ON CALL ROOM

The door opened and Addison walked inside to find Mark sat alone in the dark. She turned on the light and he looked at her and then threw his head back in frustration not greeting his friend.

"I'm sorry about all of this. I know this is everything you ever wanted. I don't know what was going on in Roxie's head that is something you'll have to find out, you'll have to talk to her but Derek he did nothing wrong, he didn't know and he didn't deserve to be punched in the face"

Silence filled the air and Addison sat down beside him.

"I fell in love with her"

"I know and Roxie loves you and as crazy as this sounds she probably didn't say anything because she was scared she'd lose you"

"Not Roxie the baby I fell in love with the baby. I was ready to be a Dad, I actually wished the baby would hurry up and be born because I wanted to meet her"

"You think this is your fault?" asked Addison unsure of what he was trying to say

"No this was just bad luck but I fell in love with that little baby and when she stopped breathing so did I and the pain in my heart when I thought she was dying"

"Mark…"

"Roxie knew she knew that the kid might not be mine and she let me fall in love with the kid, she let me. She had all that time to tell me and she didn't she just watched as I fell in love with that kid. Maybe you're right she may have just been too scared to tell me but I can't forgive, I can't forgive her for letting me fall in love with a kid that she knew may not have been mine"

"Mark I understand what you're saying but you have to understand better than anybody what she's been through with this pregnancy and now she may lose the baby"

"The babies fine" said Mark

"For now" replied Addison getting Mark's attention "She's a preemie and although medicines come a long way and preemies chances of survivals are much higher there are no certainties"

A Little While Later

Derek walked out of the NICU with a sigh and was shocked to find Meredith sat waiting for him.

"Hi" he said waiting to see her reaction

"Hi how is she?" asked Meredith trying to be supportive

"She's ok. Meredith I didn't…"

"I know you didn't know about the baby and I have no right to be angry because you did nothing wrong so I'm being supportive" Derek smiled but Meredith could see the pain. "She is ok isn't she?"

"For now" Meredith stepped forward and hugged Derek who immediately wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

THE NEXT MORNING - IN ROXIES ROOM

Roxie woke up and focused on the room she then looked to the left to see the nurse checking on her and she spotted Mark sat on the chair staring at her. The nurse soon left the room leaving Mark and Roxie alone. Roxie looked at Mark wondering why he'd come back after making himself perfectly clear about where they stood.

"I checked in on the baby before I came by and she's doing ok"

"Good" replied Roxie unsure what to say next

Mark looked at Roxie for a lingering moment unable to help the way he felt about Roxie he couldn't bring himself to be distant and callous towards her because although he was angry about the situation and angry about Roxie not telling him he couldn't see Roxie go through this by herself and more than anything in the world he wanted to protect her from all the impending problems that could occur.

"I heard you went to see her"

"Mark what are you doing here?" she asked

"I love you, I hate you for what you've done, or what you didn't do" Roxie hung her head in shame "But I love you and I can't just switch that off and that means I want to look after you and make sure you're ok"

"I am ok"

"No you're not. You're recovering and you're tired and emotional and punishing yourself for this whole thing. You're angry because you didn't tell us although I'm sure you had your reasons at the time. You're angry because you think you did something to bring this on like it was a karmic fate or something and you didn't, you did nothing wrong. I have to look after you because I love you. I have to know you're ok"

Roxie looked at Mark and knew she could be completely honest with him without losing face and knowing it wouldn't go any further than that room.

"I was feeling like crap every single day, one day I would be nauseous, the next I'd be faint, the next tired and I had these twinges constantly throughout. I was afraid to ask I just said it was apart of it and that I was pushing myself too much. Then I had a twinge when I was visiting Chan and he said at nineteen weeks it was normal because the body was adjusting but they didn't stop. I thought it was just stress from dealing with everything"

"You're not to blame"

"If I'd gone and seen someone about it"

"You went to the scans they didn't think there was anything wrong. You can't blame yourself"

"She looks so helpless" started Roxie pausing for a moment "She may not come out of this"

"Roxie everybody is very optimistic" he replied trying to reassure her

"Mark don't do that please you're the one person I can depend on to be blunt and honest with me"

"Ok but she is doing fine"

"I know she is and I hope she goes from strength to strength but I can't sit here as a doctor and pretend she's going to be fine and that I'll be taking her home in no time. I can't do that I have to take it one day at a time"

"She's fighting but she needs some help, some support from her Mom. Jasmine needs you"

"No"

"Sorry?"

"Her name isn't Jasmine"

"That's what you chose"

"No that's what we chose for our baby. She isn't our baby she isn't Jasmine"

"Ok" replied Mark moving forward and taking Roxie's hand as he sat on the bed beside her "She still deserves a name"

"No I can't name her. If I name her she's…never mind"

"If you name her she's somebody, a real little person not just a preemie or a sick baby. She's somebody with a name and an identity. Roxie God forbid but what if something does happen? She deserves to be somebody; she deserves to have an identity …"

"Before she dies?" said Roxie cutting him off

"No but just in case the worst should happen. She was apart of you, you shared something for six months with her that no one else will ever share with her. You are the only person she knows right now the only one she has a connection with and she's depending on you even though she's no longer inside of you. That includes everything, love, support, happiness, a name and in time she'll create her own personality and become someone amazing but that all starts with a name. You don't want to name her because you think it will jinx her but the truth is it will show everyone that you believe in her that you believe she'll get better because you're giving her this name for her to grow into"

"I can't. I can't name her I can't go into that room and watch her. I can't pray for miracles"

"She's a tiny little bundle and I get it looking at her is terrifying because she looks like she could shatter into a million pieces with the slightest knock. You sit staring at her to make sure she's breathing you just watch her diaphragm moving you can't even look at the rest of her because all the tubes are terrifying to see. You're afraid to look away for even a second in case you miss something that could potentially be a sign of deterioration. And you're under more pressure because your bodies been through tremendous trauma and all it's telling you is to go to sleep. Then you've got nurses coming asking you questions like 'do you want to breastfeed because it's better for the baby' then they want you to pump every four hours to feed it to your tiny little baby. And you think by not sitting with her the clock round, by not breastfeeding, by not naming her that if something bad should happen it won't hurt as much. The same way you didn't want to tell me she may not be mine because you probably thought if I tell Mark she might not be his then it turns out she is I'll have ruined this for him am I right?"

Roxie looked at Mark and knew he was only trying to help and was only trying to encourage her in the only way he knew how.

"I'm afraid that if I sit there I may miss something that's potentially a sign of deterioration. I'm afraid that if I start to pump and give her my breast milk that if the worst does happen and she doesn't come through I'm going to have to keep pumping after she's gone. I'm being selfish, incredibly selfish because I have endured my fair share of heartache and I am trying to shield myself from as much heartache as possible some things like the babies survival I have no control of that but I can control this I can choose not to sit with her or breastfeed"

"Roxie if something did happen how do you know you wouldn't hate yourself for not being there or not breastfeeding?"

Roxie looked at Mark and knew he was right but she just didn't know how to protect herself from the unforeseeable and she hated not knowing what was going to happen.

"Can you just go please?"

"Roxie"

"You're right people are coming to me and asking me things and telling me things and it's driving me insane. I need people to stop telling me what to do because there is nothing I can do. Her fate is not in my hands. I can't make her better and sitting there with her all day everyday is not going to help her in anyway. So stop pressuring me and just go"

Mark looked at Roxie and knew he had to leave because he couldn't force her to do anything she didn't want to

LATER IN THE NICU

Derek was struggling to stay awake he suddenly jolted out of his sleep to find Roxie stood beside the incubator. Derek suddenly became wide awake.

"Meredith is being supportive?" asked Roxie

"Err yes" replied Derek

"That's good that she's ok with this and that she isn't fleeing"

"How are you?"

"I'm…" Roxie took a deep breath "Mark thinks we should name her"

"That's a good idea"

"You don't think it will jinx her?"

"No I don't believe in things like that I believe in medicine. I'm surprised you believe in things like that"

"I lived in New York, I ran a club in New York. I wasn't a Doctor I didn't practice in New York. I came to Seattle for one case for a dear friend of mine and I end up becoming the head of general surgery at a hospital across the other side of the country and within my first month or so my long lost mother turns up and dies and then my estranged husband. How can I not believe in karma and fate?"

"And you believe by naming her you're tempting her fate?"

"I don't know what I think. All I know is my baby is lying in front of me and I feel like I'm walking a tightrope"

"What do you mean?"

"Like I'm doing the wrong thing by her no matter what. I'm afraid that if I name her something bad will happen and I'm afraid that something bad will happen and she will never have been given a name. I'm afraid that if I sit here I could miss something that could be fatal to her and I'm afraid that if I'm not here I'm going to hate myself forever if something bad does happen"

"Ok well how about we name her because she's our daughter and she deserves a name then after we've named her we'll take it in turns to be here and look over her"

Roxie looked at her daughter and then at the machines all stating she was stable and she knew both Mark and Derek were right she deserved a name.

"Ok, ok lets name her"

Derek smiled and grabbed Roxie's hand squeezing it tight "Roxie you've just got to have faith"

Roxie looked at Derek who squinted with a look of confusion "That's it"

"What's it?"

"Her name, Faith that's what she should be called Faith Leoni Shepherd"

Derek smiled "I like that" Derek then took the card out of her incubator and wrote 'Faith Leoni Shepherd' above Baby girl Leoni which he then crossed out.

A Little While Later

Derek and Roxie both sat by Faith's incubator and stared at her contently.

"He'll forgive you in time" said Derek

Roxie shook her head "I don't think so"

"You can't see it now but things will get better and he'll get used to things"

"I wouldn't blame him if he never spoke to me again"

Just then Faith's monitor began to beep both Derek and Roxie jumped to their feet to see that the tot had stopped breathing.

"Doctor" called one of the nurses

"Oh my God" said Roxie as she watched the NICU team working on her daughter as Derek tried to comfort her she pulled away "I can't I can't I'm sorry I can't" she said running out of the room Derek watched her leave and wanted nothing more than to go find her but he couldn't leave Faith.

Roxie ran through the doors and past the staff including a visiting Addison who followed her into her room where she found her doubled over in both pain and anguish. As she hyperventilated she tried to speak.

"I can't…I can't…she's …she's…she's dying" she said breaking down into a sobbing heap as Addison comforted her

"It's ok"

Roxie in Addison's arms continued to cry as the NICU team continued to work on Faith.

============================================== PLEASE READ AND REVIEW =================================================


	35. Chapter 35

A Little While Later

Roxie paced her room waiting for someone to bring her news of her daughter as Addison sat on the bed waiting with her.

"You can't blame yourself" said Addison

"No offence Addison but this is about the third 'You can't blame yourself' speech I've had. I was suffering all through my pregnancy with nausea, vomiting, dizziness, twinges. I was overworking and I was over stressed hiding a secret from the man I love because ironically I didn't want to hurt him and I thought I had three more months to figure it out. I should have got myself checked out. I should have stopped working such long hours especially OR hours and I should have spoken to Mark and Derek to relieve the stress to protect my unborn baby but I didn't do any of that and she was premature and now she's lying there in the NICU struggling to just breathe and when I left she was coding and I ran out and left her there because I do blame myself and I couldn't help but blame myself when I saw my daughter stop breathing so I'm sorry Addison but there's no one else to blame"

"If you'd come to me with those symptoms I would have given you a prescription to stop the nausea telling you some women suffer with nausea throughout their pregnancy and I would probably have put the dizziness down to lack of food, exhaustion due to the sickness and or overworking. I would have given you a scan which wouldn't have picked up a placental abruption this is not your fault"

The door then opened and Mark appeared.

"They want you back in the NICU"

Roxie looked at Mark with fear wondering why she was being summoned to the NICU.

"Mark please how is she?"

"They've got her back but they still need to talk to you"

"Why?"

"Roxie just come with me"

Roxie looked back at Addison and then walked out of the door followed by Mark.

A Little While Later

Roxie walked into the NICU and joined the doctor and Derek at the incubator.

"I'll wait outside"

Roxie reached out and grabbed Mark's hand "Please stay" Mark felt uncomfortable standing alongside his now ex-girlfriend and his best friend discussing the future of a baby who he had once considered his own but he couldn't help but love Roxie and wanted to protect her.

"Ok" he replied

"Faith had an apnea spell which is why she stopped breathing this is common in preemies and usually works itself out and we will deal with this as and when we need to. The reason we have called you here is because we were carrying out the general checks that we do in the NICU…"

"What's wrong with her?" asked Roxie just wanting to cut to the chase

"Faith presented with PDA which we believe is the cause of the RDS we've been administering indomethacin and monitoring it in hopes that it would fix itself but it hasn't and we feel that if it's left much longer it could cause much more respiratory distress which could become fatal for Faith"

"You want to take her into surgery?" asked Derek

"We believe it's the best approach"

"You want to take my very small, very vulnerable and unstable child into surgery and put her already traumatised body through even more trauma?" asked Roxie in disbelief

"Faiths lungs are under extreme pressure with her being so premature and so small she is already fighting RDS, a small infection and BPD. If we don't take her into surgery her lungs are going to continue to fill with excess blood which will put her lungs under even more pressure. This is scary I know but its Faith's best option and we wouldn't make this decision lightly"

"Roxie we need to agree on this" said Derek

"She's so small" said Roxie

"Rox you need to think medically not emotionally" said Mark trying to guide her to the right decision

"Will Addison be there?"

"I can be" said Addison trying to make things easier

Roxie looked at Addison then at Derek and finally at Mark and nodded her head "Ok"

"We're going to have to take Faith down right now"

"Now?"

"Yes immediately"

Mark felt Roxie squeeze his hand as she feared for her daughter.

LATER IN ROXIES ROOM

Roxie sat on the edge of the bed and looked up as she heard the door open she looked over at her friend Skye who delicately approached her.

"Mark told me you left the relatives room. You shouldn't be alone"

"He's fine" blurted out Roxie

"I'm sorry?" asked a confused Skye

"Chan he's fine, he misses you like crazy and you're the only thing keeping him going and he's afraid he's so scared that you're not going to be waiting for him because he hurt you. I keep telling him you're fine and you're waiting. He's clean and he looks so much better and he's walking not far and it's slow and it's damn near killing him but he's walking. He didn't want you to see him again until he was better it's not that he doesn't love you. I've wanted to tell you this so many times but he didn't want you to question me about my visits"

"You've been visiting him. Why tell me now?"

"I don't know because lies have gotten me in this trouble and I've hurt and lost the man I love and I can't risk losing my best friend through secrets and lies too"

"Faith's going to be ok you know?" said Skye changing the subject

"No I don't know and I can't pretend. Can we just…just sit?"

"Sure" said Skye sitting down beside her friend on the bed waiting for Faiths surgery to come to an end

TWO WEEKS LATER

The elevator doors opened and Roxie emerged she walked down the corridor and could feel the eyes on her as she made her way to the chiefs office. She knocked on the door and waited to be called in once she had been she entered the room with confidence and sat down across from the chief.

"I'm surprised you're here" said the chief

"Why I told you I was coming back to work?"

"Yeah but you shouldn't be here"

"But I am so why am I here in your office?"

"If you're coming back to work there are a few things I require"

"You require?"

"Yes, firstly you will see a therapist on a regular basis"

"A shrink?"

"Yes and you will do it without asking questions. Secondly you will not step foot in the OR"

"What the hell am I supposed to do if I'm not allowed in the OR?"

"Treat the patients, work in the ER. Until your psychiatrist tells me you are ready to return to the OR you will not be stepping foot inside of one"

"This is ridiculous"

"These are my terms and you have fifteen minutes to make a decision because I've scheduled your first session for eleven o'clock"

"I can't go home, please don't do this to me. Just let me come back and carry on like…"

"Like nothings happened?" asked the chief cutting her off. Roxie sighed.

A Little While Later

Roxie stood outside Dr Wyatt's office and shook her head in disbelief that she was actually there but knew this is what she had to do in order to be in the hospital. Roxie raised her hand ready to knock on the door but before she could the door opened and Dr Wyatt appeared.

"Ahh Dr Leoni I was wondering where you were. Come in"

Roxie fought her better judgement and walked in behind the doc and sat down in front of her.

"So how does this work?" asked Roxie

"We just talk"

"I have friends I can talk to"

"This is at the request of Dr Webber so he obviously wants you to talk to me. So tell me why Dr Webber requested that you come and see me?"

"He thinks I'm crazy" stated Roxie

"Why?"

"Because this time yesterday I was attending my daughters funeral. He thinks I'm crazy because I'm not locked away in my home sobbing into a pillow"

"Why aren't you locked away sobbing into a pillow?"

"For one thing my family are in town and they're…hovering, they're everywhere and they have been for over a week and I can't handle anymore because they're expecting the same of me as the chief, they're expecting me stop working and crumble into a million pieces and breakdown"

"And how are you grieving?"

"Silently I don't need to cry, I don't need to lock myself away"

"You need to talk about it"

"I have I've talked about it and talked and talked and a little more talking"

"You're ex military am I correct?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I have met many military men and women and they are all like you"

"Just trying to do their job?"

"No ignoring what's happening around them and not dealing with the bad stuff"

"You can't let down your guard in the army. You can't crumble every time something bad happens because that leaves the path clear for something bigger and badder to happen"

"Is that what you're afraid of? If you let your guard down something worse will happen?"

"Worse than losing my daughter? How does it get worse?"

"I don't know I don't think it does but there is a reason you're keeping yourself busy, a reason you're not grieving typically"

"My mother"

"Excuse me?"

"She walked out on my Dad and me and my sisters. My Dad had to work every hour God sent to make nothing so looking after my baby sisters became mine and my elder sisters duty and she has never grown up when we should have been looking after them she was with her friends while I had to be the grown up. I was angry at my mother and I acted out that landed me a spot in a military school where I acted out even more and I then realised I had to stop and grow up and be even more wise beyond my years and I was responsible for myself because my family wasn't around. Then I went to war and I was a medic and I was once again looking out for everybody else. I came back from the army and I resumed my role as the elder sister and started looking after them. I couldn't break down, I couldn't lock myself away because they needed me. I had to be strong and I had to find ways of dealing with the bad stuff and I keep myself busy, I talk to my friends to people I know who won't judge me and try to make me do things I don't want to. That's how I deal with things and you're shrinky little mind right now is probably thinking God she's crazy but I'm sure you have off days but you still turn up for work because you believe your patients need you"

"So your intentions to…'come to terms' with your loss are to work through it and talk to people?"

"Yeah"

"Ok lets talk. Tell me about the babies father"

"Faith, her name was Faith, not the baby, Faith"

"Ok tell me about Faith's father"

Roxie looked at Dr Wyatt and shook her head.

"Don't pretend you don't know. I have been in the top five hospital gossip list since I got here"

"I don't listen to gossip so please indulge me"

"Derek Shepherd was Faith's father"

"Is…he 'is' Faith's father whether with us or not that won't change"

"Whatever"

"So tell me about him"

"He was a fling. Mark and I…"

"Mark?"

"Sloan, Derek's best friend"

"Ahh continue"

"Mark and I were going through a rough patch and we weren't together at the time. Derek and I had a drunken fumble and a couple of sober fumbles after that. Then I got back with Mark and I thought she was his but she was AB- and Mark is O-, she was Derek's"

"What happened when they found out?"

"What do you think?"

"I can assume but only you can tell me"

"Mark left me which is another reason I don't want to be at home. It's not fun going back to 'our' home and climbing in 'our' bed when you're all alone"

"I thought you had your family there?"

"I do but hopefully they're leaving soon"

"So you want to be left alone?"

"No I just want people to stop fussing and let me get on with my life"

"How did Faith die?"

Roxie looked at Dr Wyatt and knew she was only trying to help her but she wasn't ready to talk to her about Faith.

"I don't think that's any of your business"

"And I think you need to talk about it"

"You're wrong. Is this done now can I leave?"

"Where are you going to go?"

"Work"

"Doing charts? You're not allowed in the OR until I feel you're ready for it and until we've discussed things you won't be getting any closer to that"

"So we're done? Good" said Roxie standing up and heading to the door she opened the door and stopped she looked down at her feet before looking back into the room.

"She was born at twenty five weeks, she presented with patent ductus arteriosus which was causing respiratory distress, she had an infection that she was trying to fight from the day she entered the NICU she had an operation to fix the PDA and seemed to help her apnea spells were easing up and she was getting better then out of nowhere she crashed and they didn't get her back. She was tired of fighting and I am sad, I am grieving in my own way but in the back of my mind I'm thinking she's better off where she is because she would probably have been fighting for the rest of her life. Then I start to hate myself for thinking that way. Faith died and it hurts but her sufferings over now"

"I'll see you tomorrow" said Dr Wyatt after a long silent pause

Roxie gave a slight smile before she walked out of the room.

A Little While Later

Roxie arrived on the surgical floor and made her way through a crowd of leering looks to her friend.

"Hi how are you?" asked Skye

"Well I came to work so I could forget about my worries and I can't scrub in, I have to see a shrink and people are looking at me like I have two heads. Other than that just fine" she said with a fake smile

"I'm sorry sweetie. The chiefs just looking out for you"

"Derek lost a kid too lets see if they treat him like this"

"Derek's taken time off and Faith wasn't apart of him for six months"

"Dr McKenzie I have Mr Griffith's labs"

Skye looked at Roxie "It's ok go I'm going to find something to do"

Skye walked away with the intern and Roxie turned to make her way to the ER where she hoped she'd be able to get to work when she was stopped in her tracks as she came face to face with Mark.

"Hey" said Roxie

"Hi" replied Mark "How are you?"

"Coping, you?"

"I'm good. Is your family still around?"

"Yeah they're being overprotective"

"They're just concerned about you"

"Yeah but I'd feel better if they could do that from New York"

Mark smiled and the duo stood in uncomfortable silence for a lingering moment.

"I should go" said Mark walking passed her

"They have me seeing a shrink" said Roxie turning to face Mark

"Really?" asked Mark

"She has to sign me off before I can get back in the OR they think I'm crazy"

"They don't think you're crazy they just think you need help dealing with all of this"

"I don't need to see a shrink though I have…Skye" said Roxie finishing her sentence solemnly as she remembered she no longer had Mark to turn to "Err are you still at the hotel?"

"Yeah"

"Mark this is ridiculous it's your home too"

"Roxie don't do this please. I am so sorry you lost Faith I am and if I could do anything to change what had happened I would. You and I though I can't do it. If you need somebody to talk to I'm here but we can't be together anymore. That's asking too much. I have to go" Mark then walked away leaving Roxie behind

LATER IN THE ER

Roxie was walking with Bailey into the ER followed by residents and interns.

"Ok so we have multiple traumas coming in and its all hands on deck" said Bailey

"And remember people prioritise" said a tall red headed man

All the residents and interns prepared for the incoming traumas. Roxie threw on a gown and the red headed man tied it for her.

"You're new" stated Roxie

"Owen Hunt and you are?"

"Roxie Leoni head of general surgery…I think"

"You think?"

"Long story"

"Maybe you can tell me after we deal with all the traumas coming in" said Hunt as he walked away

Roxie followed and they stood outside waiting for the arrivals. Roxie stood uncomfortably as she felt eyes burning holes in the back of her head nervously awaiting her first case since her c-section.

"I heard she's banned from the OR" came a not so subtle whisper

"She has to see a shrink" said another

"I can't believe she's back at work she shouldn't be here"

"She's like a machine she has to be to not be crying in a corner"

"Did you see her talking to Sloan earlier like nothing had happened?"

Roxie exhaled loudly and closed her eyes trying to block the whispers out. Hunt saw this and not knowing why they were talking about her but knowing it was bothering her turned to the interns.

"Is there something you would like to discuss with us all?" he asked

The interns looked at Hunt with sheer panic "No Dr Hunt" said one intern speaking for them all

"Then maybe we can shut up gossiping and act like doctors and not bratty little teenagers. We've got traumas coming in here and if you can't focus fully on them then maybe you should get the hell out of the ER. Make your decisions now"

Hunt then turned back and looked at Roxie wondering what had happened to her.

================================================== PLEASE READ AND REVIEW ======================================================


	36. Chapter 36

LATER

Roxie followed the gurney writing on the chart as she walked.

"Ok take him straight into the OR" ordered Roxie sending the final trauma case out of the ER

Roxie walked back over to the ER reception desk and fell into a chair and looked around to see all patients being tended to. Hunt approached the desk and stared at Roxie.

"What?" asked Roxie

"I'm just wondering why the head of general surgery…or possible head of general surgery, is sending a whole load of trauma patients into the OR but isn't scrubbing in herself"

"I'm not allowed in the OR"

"The head of general surgery isn't allowed to operate?"

"I may as well tell you because you're going to hear about it anyway. I had a baby, she was premature and she didn't make it"

"I'm sorry to hear that"

"Yeah well the reason they're all talking behind my back is because yesterday it was her funeral"

"And they're judging you because you've come straight back to work?"

"Yeah and the chief thinks I'm crazy for coming back so soon and doesn't trust my mental stability so until the shrink signs me off I'm not allowed in the OR which is why I'm here in the pit"

"So this is like punishment for you?"

"No this is the only way I can treat patients"

"Most surgeons like to avoid the pit"

"I started out in emergency medicine so it doesn't bother me"

"You worked in the ER?"

"No I was an army medic"

"Seriously?" he asked with amazement

"Yeah why are you giving me that look?"

"Major Owen Hunt" he said extending his hand

"You're kidding?"

"Afraid not I'm gonna make sure things are under control you should go to lunch or something"

"No I'm alright I just want to keep busy"

"If you're going to be in my ER then you're going to eat I make sure all my staff are looked after so just go" Roxie was about to argue with him when "No arguments now go" Hunt then left and Roxie decided to do as Hunt said and went to get lunch

A Little While Later

Roxie was sat by herself in the cafeteria when she saw Mark walk in she looked in his direction and watched as he made his way over to pay for his lunch he then turned to find a place to sit and spotted Roxie sat alone he wanted to go over to her and make sure she was ok but couldn't bring himself to do it he then turned and left the cafeteria. Roxie let out a huge sigh as she realised she had ruined things completely with Mark.

LATER AT JOE'S

Roxie and Skye sat at the bar drinking away Roxie's first day back.

"You know you have to go home at some point?" said Skye

"Yeah I know but hopefully by then my family will be back in New York"

"Sweetie I would love to sit here with you till closing but I need to go home and sleep but I'll see you in the morning alright?"

"Yeah ok" said Roxie as she watched her friend leave catching a glimpse of Hunt as she did. Roxie turned back to the bar and took another drink of her beer.

"I'm guessing you're glad this day's over" said Hunt as he sat down next to her

"This day might be over but there's another one coming and I don't know when they're going to get any easier"

"Thanks Joe" said Mark as he placed some money down on the bar he looked at Roxie for a moment and she looked back before he left the bar without saying a word

"And what's the deal with you two?" asked Hunt

"I was dating him"

"He's the dad?"

"No that's why he hates me"

"Wow it's beginning to get clearer why the chief sent you to the psychiatrist" he said with a smug smile

Roxie stared at him and then smiled.

"You're a jackass"

Hunt then gave a huge grin and they enjoyed a few more drinks together.

LATER

Roxie sat in her living room with silence surrounding her as her family slept in the adjoining rooms she took a sip of her drink and was then interrupted by a knocking at the door. Roxie couldn't think who would be knocking on her door so late at night. Roxie stood up and made her way to the door she opened and smiled with surprise as she saw Chan stood in front of her.

"Hi" she said hugging her friend

"Hey"

"What are you doing here?" she asked dragging him inside

"They let me out"

"Seriously? That's great"

"Yeah it's weird though"

"So why are you here?" she asked again

"I need somewhere to go; I figured you needed someone to come home to. We'd be helping each other out"

"What about Skye?"

"I don't want to rush things"

"She misses you"

"I'll deal with that another day right now we need to deal with you"

"With me?"

"Rox you don't have to pretend with me"

"I'm not pretending with anybody"

"When do you go back to work?"

"This morning"

"Whoa wait you're already back at work?"

"Yeah"

"Are you ready for that?"

"I'm ready to get back to work. I'm not ready for Mark and I'm dreading Derek. I thought me and Mark could work through it but it's not going to happen, it's over"

"He might just need time"

Roxie shook her head "No it's over with. Anyway my family are occupying all the bedrooms but until they leave you're welcome to the couch"

"Thanks"

"I'll go get you some sheets and a pillow"

Chan smiled as he watched Roxie walk away.

THE NEXT DAY AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie was writing some charts out when Hunt appeared.

"We have an emergency coming in ETA three minutes get ready" he said handing her a gown

She followed him outside to wait for the ambulance and he helped her tie her gown.

"Hey" said a familiar voice

Roxie looked at Chan with confusion in her eyes she couldn't understand why he was at the hospital.

"Hi what are you doing here?"

"I came to see Skye"

"Are you kidding?"

"What?" asked Chan

"You can't walk into the hospital and just say 'hey babe I'm back' you're ambushing her"

"ETA two minutes" said Hunt trying to get Roxie's attention back

Roxie turned back and looked at the interns "You, go and get Dr McKenzie and bring her down here now" the intern then left "You remember that the last time she saw you, you were high and hostile and had scammed her. She loves you but you have a lot of making up to do"

"ETA one minute"

Roxie shot a look at Hunt and then turned back to Chan

"I'm just saying don't expect her to welcome you with open arms now go sit down and wait"

"You done?" asked Chan

"Just do as you're told" replied Roxie

Chan smiled and walked over to the bench and waited for Skye. Whilst he waited the ambulance turned up and Hunt and Roxie took the patient inside.

A Few Moments Later

Skye appeared along with the intern who gestured towards the bench. Skye turned around the corner and halted as she saw a familiar yet distant face.

"Skye" said Chan standing up

"You're back?"

"Yeah I'm back"

"That's good"

A lingering silence filled the air as the couple stood uncomfortably in each others presence.

"I don't know what to say" said Chan honestly

"I don't either"

"Can you err…take a break maybe?"

"You wouldn't let me visit"

"I didn't want you to see me in there I wanted to be better before you saw me again"

"And now you're better?"

"I'm not addicted to vicodin anymore and I just signed up for the twelve step program and after a week or so I'm gonna ask the chief if I can do some voluntary work to prove myself"

"This all sounds great but I didn't think you'd become a vicodin addict in the first place so how can I believe you're past that?"

"You have to believe in me"

"I don't know if I can do that"

"Well I can't force you so it's down to you"

"Where are you staying?"

"With Roxie"

"Roxie knew you were here?"

"Roxie has other things on her mind so don't go blaming her"

"I wasn't going to. I think I need go back to work"

"Skye we need to talk"

"I can't. I've been waiting for you to come back, I've thought about this moment for a long time and now it's here I don't know how to deal with it. I need to go back to work because I can't do this right now. My best friends daughter just died, her world fell apart and I don't know what I can do to help her and now on top of all that you're back. I can't deal with this" Skye then walked away leaving a confused Chan behind

LATER

Roxie sat suturing her patients wound up when she was approached by Hunt.

"Nice job" he said watching her at work

"Thanks it's good to know I can do good basic sutures that even interns should be able to do"

Hunt laughed and Roxie finished the sutures and stood up.

"I was thinking maybe we could go for a drink"

"Because I'm such good company at the moment?"

"I like your company. You're probably the only person in this hospital who doesn't hate me and you don't ask a lot of questions"

"So you're using me because everybody else hates you?" she asked

"Pretty much" he said with a smile "Drinks are on me?"

Roxie smiled "Sure why not"

LATER AT JOES

Roxie walked into Joe's to find Hunt at the bar she approached the bar and sat down beside him before anything was said a drink appeared in front of Roxie.

"Wow you're good"

"I aim to please. So how was day two?"

"It's getting easier"

"Is that because people are now talking about that guy returning for Dr McKenzie?"

"Chan, his names Chan he was the head of OB here he had a problem and he's been away dealing with it, he got back yesterday"

"And he was dating the Ortho doc?"

"He was engaged to the Ortho doc it's a long story and it's not mine so…"

"Ok you don't have to tell me"

"I think we should just wish them luck with vodka"

Hunt laughed "Good plan. Joe two vodkas"

AT ROXIE'S APARTMENT

Chan sat channel hopping just finding something to occupy his time as he waited for Roxie to come home. Suddenly a knock came at the door and Chan turned off the TV he got up and walked over to the door and answered it to find Skye stood in front of him.

"I love you" she declared "I hated you though"

"I'm sorry"

"I was so angry at you for treating me like that; you were supposed to love me"

"I do love you but that guy it wasn't me. Skye you know me, you know I'm not that guy"

"I know you couldn't help it, I know it wasn't you and it was the vicodin but I just can't believe that you would treat me like that, you manipulated me"

"What do you want from me?" asked Chan

Skye stared at Chan for a longing moment and then moved forward and grabbed his shirt and pulled him in to a deep sensual kiss. They kissed for only a few seconds and pulled away. Skye continued to clutch at his shirt and looked up at him.

"I just want you back" said Skye pulling him in for another amazing kiss.

Chan ran his hands down Skye's arms as he kissed the woman he loved he then cupped her ass and effortlessly lifted up to his waist. She wrapped her legs around him and he backed into the apartment kicking the door closed behind him

"What about Roxie's family?" asked Skye pulling away from the kiss

"They left this morning" he said pulling her back into the kiss.

Chan carried her into the bedroom and placed her down on the bed he pulled away from the kiss and took off his shirt. Skye's body began to quiver at the sight of him after wanting him for so long. Chan ran his hands up her body dragging her shirt along with him taking it over her head and throwing it carelessly to the floor revealing her beautiful bare breasts. He kissed her body seductively as he reached her pants he quickly unfastened them and pulled them and her panties down and threw them to the floor. Chan then scrambled out of his own pants and underwear and he looked down at Skye and smiled as he felt like he was finally back where he belonged. Chan moved in and laid on top of Skye their naked bodies meshing together his lips met hers as his hands explored her body first moving up her thigh and then over her slender hips and finally cupping at ample breasts. He moved away from her lips and began to kiss her breast he then began to lick her nipple lathering it with saliva. He pulled away and rubbed his thumb on her clit before slowly inserting his rigid penis inside her welcoming pussy. As his girth filled her she began to breathe deeply and moan sweetly. He then began to move slowly in and out of her pussy getting faster as she requested it.

"Oh God" she moaned

Skye began to arch her back as she could feel the oncoming orgasm circulating through her writhing body. She had waited so long to feel Chan inside of her once again that the physicality was too much to bear and within minutes of entering her Skye was clutching at the bed sheets and screaming in ecstasy her vaginal walls shaking and contracting holding Chan's mammoth and pulsating penis in a vice milking him of his juices. They both began to moan together and their bodies joined each other in a race to reach absolute bliss as their orgasms flooded through them simultaneously.

"Jesus Christ!!" he moaned as he fell in heap next to Skye.

"That was…"

"Yeah"

"I've missed you so much" she said as she mounted him and began to kiss him passionately

"You missed me or the sex?"

"You, I missed you. The sex is just a welcomed extra"

"Well if you're up for it, I've got another extra for you"

Skye smiled as Chan manoeuvred her onto his solid shaft which filled her completely he then gripped at her hips and she began to bounce up and down riding his shaft vigorously her breasts bouncing in Chan's face. Chan began to kiss her breasts as they moved in front of him.

"Get on your knees" ordered Chan

Skye climbed off of Chan and got on all fours she then felt Chan enter her and smiled as he began to penetrate her. Chan's hand then grabbed hold of Skye's breast and he began to tug on her nipple whilst still thrusting inside her the mixture of pleasure and pain intensified her already leg shaking, knee buckling orgasm. His hand then moved from her breast and she felt his index and middle finger teasing her clit. She immediately sat up forcing Chan to kneel back as she rested herself against his masculine frame he continued to thrust inside of her as he played with clit as she dug her nails deep into his thighs almost drawing blood.

"Ooh…this…is…amazing" she screamed as her orgasm washed over her and she felt his masterful cock squirming inside of her as Chan's orgasm reached its peak.

Chan began to kiss at her neck as he continued to rub her clit.

"I love you" said Skye

"I love you too" whispered Chan in her ear "Stay the night?"

"I'm not going anywhere"

Skye climbed off of Chan's cock and turned to face him she kissed him softly.

"I think we should go shower now" she said with a dirty smile

"Yeah we should really go and get…all soapy" he said with a devilish smile picking her up and carrying her into the bathroom as she giggled mischievously.

AT THE FRONT DOOR

Roxie and Hunt walked up to Roxie's door she searched for her keys.

"Nice building" said Hunt

"Yeah it's ok" she said successfully retrieving her keys from her bag and unlocking the door "Well thanks for walking me home"

"No problem"

"So I'll see you tomorrow, boss" she said with a smile

"Yeah well don't be late" he replied with a smile

Roxie walked inside and placed her bag down on the couch when a knock came at the door. She walked back to the door and opened it to see Hunt stood there.

"Hi did you…"

Hunt then moved forward and kissed Roxie with complete intensity almost knocking her over. Roxie didn't know where to place her hands as she knew what they were doing was wrong but she couldn't help but reciprocate. Hunt with his hands cupping her face pulled away from the kiss and looked into her eyes.

"Bye" he said with a smile as he stepped back and walked away leaving Roxie in a whirlwind at the front door.

She walked inside and closed the door behind her and proceeded to her bedroom unaware of what her housemate and best friend were up to in her guest bathroom.

=========================================== PLEASE READ AND REVIEW ===============================================


	37. Chapter 37

A FEW DAYS LATER

After her impromptu kiss with Hunt, Roxie had done everything she could to avoid him but her game was up as Hunt cornered her in the on call room.

"So what is your deal?" he asked waiting for her to explain her actions over the last few days

"There's no deal I've just been busy"

"You've been avoiding me ever since we kissed. And don't pretend you didn't kiss me back"

"Owen, it's just"

"Just what?"

"It's too soon after…everything. I did enjoy it but as far as I'm concerned it never happened"

"That's all you had say" replied Hunt "You didn't have to be childish like this" Hunt then left the room leaving Roxie behind feeling like crap

LATER AT DR WYATTS OFFICE

Roxie sat holding on to a cushion her head was elsewhere and the doc picked up on that.

"You seem distracted"

"No I'm not"

"So tell me what have you done since the last time we spoke?"

"We're not friends"

"I just want to know how you're coping"

"I'm coping fine"

"Then tell me what's happened"

"Why do you want to know?"

"If you don't tell me how am I to know you're coping?"

"If I tell you how do you know I'm not lying?"

"This hesitation is only going to prolong your ban from the OR"

"You're such a great shrink you have to resort to blackmail?"

"This isn't blackmail it's fact. I have to come to work everyday whether you're on my books or not so this doesn't influence me in anyway but you're the one who wants to get back into the OR yet you're stopping yourself by being distant"

Roxie looked at the doc and knew she was right.

"Ok Mark made himself perfectly clear that there was no reconciliation between us and I took that hard because I thought that maybe at some point down the line there could be a possible reconciliation. My friend turned up in the middle of the night on my doorstep straight out of rehab and he then moved in with me. His fiancée is my best friend and although I know them both so well I didn't know how she was going to react to him turns out she's happy to have him back and has taken a short period off of work to have sex on anything that will support them…in my home. I met a new doctor who started here while I was indisposed with a placental abruption, a preemie, revelation of the real father and then the death of the daughter. He is an army guy, he was discharged and took the job here as head of the ER, it's the only place I can work until you sign me off so I've been spending a lot of time with him and he's been helping me"

"How?"

"By not helping me"

"I don't understand" she asked with confusion

"I told him about my daughter and he didn't treat me any differently, he didn't wrap me up in cotton wool, he didn't try to talk to me about it, he didn't have an opinion…in fact he made a joke out of it"

"A joke? About the death of your daughter?"

"No not about that there was a hostile moment between me and Mark while he was there and I told him about Mark and Derek and he said 'No wonder the chief wants you to see a shrink'. He didn't judge me, he doesn't know me so he could have easily judged me based on this but he didn't. He took the time to get to know me and for the first time since she died I felt comfortable"

"Comfortable?"

"Yeah I didn't feel like someone was waiting for me to breakdown. I didn't feel like my every action was being judged. It was just easy, fun and uncomplicated"

"You like this man?"

There was a long silence and then Roxie continued "If I were to say to you, you knowing everything about Mark and Derek and Faith. If I said to you I liked him a lot and that he kissed me and I had to fight every urge in my body to not drag him into my bedroom. What would you think of me?"

"I'm not here to make judgement"

"That's your job"

"No my job is to decipher why you do the things you do"

"Ok professionally what would your analysis be?"

"You didn't sleep with him?" Roxie shook her head "Then I would say you're trying to fill a void and he's just the first person who makes you feel better"

"A void? He can't replace Faith"

"I'm not talking about Faith"

"You mean Mark?"

"In our first session you said you hated going to Marks and your apartment and climbing in Marks and your bed because you felt alone. Since that session Mark has made it abundantly clear that you will never be a couple again. That void is still there and you're filling it with the first person who showed interest and didn't make you feel like the bad guy"

"So you wouldn't recommend that I take it any further with him?"

"The decisions yours but it won't work out because you haven't had any closure with Mark. You still seek his forgiveness and even though you feel defeated with the revelation you still hang on to some hope that maybe one day you'll be a couple again"

"So six months from now when hopefully you've signed me off and Marks dating because trust he can't go without for six months and then some stranger comes over to me and asks me out on a date and I say yes. Does that still mean I'm trying to fill a void?"

"It would depend on how you felt towards Mark at that period"

"And how do I get closure?"

"I can't tell you that something just has to happen to make you realise it is over and not that you won't ever get back together but that you may not get back together and you then are open to the idea of a 'relationship' with another man and not just 'relations'. Do you understand?"

"But until then I can have relations without it being frowned upon?"

"That's you're decision. But take into consideration that Dr Hunt…" Roxie gave a look of confusion as she hadn't mention Hunt's name "…There aren't that many army doctors at Seattle Grace. Anyway take into consideration that he knows about Faith and about Mark and Derek. Subconsciously you have been confiding in him whether verbally or not maybe it was getting a drink. He knew this yet he still kissed you. You have to ask yourself why he kissed you? Because he likes you? Or because he pities you?"

"Wow don't hold back will you?"

"He knew your vulnerability and made a move"

"That's it with him I wasn't vulnerable. I didn't have to be the poor girl who lost her baby and her man. I was just Roxie a good doctor doing a good job and socialising like I always have. I never sat there and complained to him about my problems as far as he knew I was together"

"Sometimes the masquerade doesn't work. You can be as 'together' as you want but people can see through it. All I'm saying is if you're going to put yourself out there again so soon you need to know whether it's for pity or because he does actually want to date you. It's just a warning. What happened after the kissed?"

"I avoided him"

"Why?"

"Because I didn't know what to think. I didn't know whether I felt lonely. I didn't know whether he was feeling sorry for me. I felt guilty. I broke Mark's heart and I put pressure on Derek and Meredith's relationship and I felt guilty that because of my actions they were suffering and I felt if I were to take it further with Hunt that it would be like a slap in the face to them"

"Roxie I can't tell you what to do and to me it sounds like you are thinking long and hard about this, your actions and the repercussions"

Just then Roxie's pager went off. She checked the pager and looked at Dr Wyatt.

"I'm sorry but I have to go"

"Ok that's fine. If you feel you need to visit in between our scheduled sessions feel free"

A Little While Later

Roxie walked out of the front entrance of the hospital to find Chan staring at the building.

"Thank God I thought I'd have to send the fire department in to hose you two down"

Chan smiled "What do you want? We haven't seen each other in a long time and we are both very…frustrated"

"You can't be frustrated anymore that's impossible"

"We're just enjoying each others company while she's not at work. Am I not being a good housemate?"

"Doesn't bother me but why don't you just go back to Skye's?"

"You're kicking me out?"

"No I just thought…"

"It makes more sense? It probably does but I manipulated her once, she loved me so much she couldn't see what I was. I may be out of rehab but I'm still recovering and I need someone strong there to look after me"

"And you chose me? Babe I don't know if you've noticed but I'm a mess"

"We'll make each other stronger" he said looking past her at the building

"So why did you page me?"

"I need to go speak to chief and I can't move"

"Why do you need to speak to him?"

"I need to know what I have to do to get my job back…if there's a job to go back to"

"You know there's a new head of OB?"

"Yeah Skye told me"

"So what you want me to walk with you? Go in with you to see him?"

"I don't know. Lets try the walking thing for now"

"Ok" said Roxie linking arms with Chan and slowly walking inside the building where they both had sordid histories.

A Little While Later

Roxie and Chan were on the surgical floor making their way to see the chief when Roxie heard a call.

"Roxie"

She turned to see Mark stood there and wondered to herself what he wanted after making himself so perfectly clear about where they stood as a couple. Chan nodded at her giving her permission to leave and he proceeded on to see the chief.

"Hi what's up?"

"I had my lawyer write up some papers and I just need you to look through them and make a decision"

"A decision?"

"Yeah currently I am paying for a property I don't live in so you either buy me out or we sell"

"Whoa nah ah"

"Nah ah?"

"I bought my apartment I had a home a home I liked and you came in and you knocked through to the next apartment to make a home for us and because you gave up on us and you walked out I have to either buy another apartment because of your renovation or move out and make another home? How is that fair?"

"I didn't give up on us! You lied to me! You told me she was my little girl! We picked a name! I decorated a nursery for her! You knew there was a chance she may not be mine and you let me fall in love with her. She may not have been mine but I still loved her and it's not just you and 'Daddy' that have lost her she was my little girl for six months I connected with her. How can you expect me to carry on having a relationship with you after that? You made me leave my home and I don't see why I should pay for you to live in a home I created for us. Choice is simple buy me out or find somewhere else" Mark shoved the papers at Roxie and walked away he then stopped and turned back "Oh by the way I'll be picking up my things after work. I should be done before you get home" Mark turned and continued to walk away

Roxie stood in the middle of the corridor as the room which halted once again resumed to work and she realised Dr Wyatt was right. 'Something just has to happen to make you realise it is over'. Holding the papers in her hand she realised it was over.

AT THE CHIEFS OFFICE

The chief sat in his chair staring at Chan who sat across the desk from him.

"When something like this happens you have to go through a process"

"Like rehab?"

"Not just rehab. There of course is the rehab followed by the twelve steps which I'm sure will include counselling?"

"Yeah they've given me a list of people but I was hoping I could see a shrink here? Then you can ask for reports and keep up to date with my progress because I just, I just want to get back to work. Which brings me to my next reason for being here. I was hoping I could do voluntary work here in the hospital. I'll work as a grunt I just want to show you and everybody else that I'm back and I'm fine"

"The psychiatrist no problem I'll get you one today but as far as the voluntary work I don't think that's a good idea"

"Because I can't be trusted near the drugs?"

"No it's not that"

"Then why?"

The chief was stumped for an answer as his fears were just the same as his fears of entering a bar one night after a hard day and giving into temptation. He feared that Chan's demons weren't far enough behind him to handle the temptation of being in the hospital with access to vicodin.

"Chan I just…"

"If I were still hooked I could get what I needed on the street. I wouldn't have to come here to get it. I want to come back here so I can prove myself because I just want to get back to work. I want to pick up my life and prove to Skye that I am the same Chan she agreed to marry. I had a hard time and I innocently got hooked. I wasn't looking for a fix I was just trying to mask the pain and I took too much and got hooked. I've learnt from my mistake. I need to prove that everybody"

LATER AT ROXIES APARTMENT

Chan opened the door and walked inside to find Skye waiting for him in panties and a jersey.

"Well?" she asked curiously

Chan hesitated and then smiled "I start Monday"

"Congratulations" she said running and jumping into his arms

"I have to see a shrink and it's grunt work but I've got my chance to prove to people that I'm back and I'm ok and that's all I wanted" he sat Skye down on the kitchen top and dug inside his inside pocket and pulled out Skye's engagement ring. He held it up for her to see and she smiled.

"They said we weren't to give these back until we could sincerely promise that we wouldn't relapse. I'm ready to give it back, Skye you mean the world to me and I love you more than humanly possible and I wouldn't give this back if I didn't truly believe that I'd got this thing beat. So will you accept it?"

Skye nodded "Yes" Chan smiled and placed the ring back on her finger and kissed her sweetly he then looked into her eyes and with a devilish smile pulled her along the kitchen top and began to remove his jersey leaving her sat on the kitchen top in just her panties. Chan removed his jacket and shirt and began to kiss Skye passionately.

LATER

A key turned in the lock and the door opened. Mark turned on the light and immediately saw a pile of clothes on the floor. He was then distracted by the sound of giggling coming from one of the spare rooms. He stormed into the bedroom he had once shared with Skye and stuffed all the clothes out of his closet into the bag he'd brought with him. He then caught a glimpse of the picture on his nightstand which was a picture of him and Roxie that he'd taken of them in bed. The smiles on their face were so big and so sincere and he could see she truly did love him. He walked out of the room with the picture in hand and was once again greeted by the sound of giggling he then threw the picture to the ground smashing the glass inside the frame. He then stormed out of the apartment and Chan wrapped in a towel walked out in the living room to see the picture shattered on the floor. He carefully picked up the picture to see it was of Roxie and Mark. Skye joined Chan and saw the picture.

"Who was it?" she asked

"I don't know but I'm guessing Rox or Sloan"

"I'll get a pan and brush" said Skye to clean up the broken glass

LATER

Roxie walked out of the hospital and ran after Hunt who had left moments before her.

"Owen" she called trying to slow him down successfully getting his attention and stopping him in his tracks "I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"For acting like an idiot and avoiding you. I was stupid"

"Yeah you were" he said with a smile

"Okay well…I kissed you…because I like you"

"You like me?"

"I felt guilty Mark and I broke up little less than a month ago and with everything that happened I felt like I wasn't allowed to kiss you. I know this sounds weird but I don't feel like that anymore and I…I really enjoyed that kiss and I enjoy your company"

"Why do you feel different?"

"Mark's moved on I can't feel guilty if he's found a way to move on right?"

Hunt smiled at Roxie giving her a confused look "You're strange"

Roxie smiled "Take me home?"

"Sure" they then walked away towards Hunt's car

A Little While Later – At Roxie's Apartment

Roxie and Hunt approached the apartment door and Roxie found her keys and unlocked the door. She then turned to Hunt wanting him to repeat the kiss. As the moment lingered she wondered if he'd changed his mind about her he then walked towards her and didn't stop, walking past her and into the apartment. Roxie followed him inside closing the door before it had time to close firmly shut behind them Hunt had her pinned against it. He kissed her with so much passion she could feel the kiss in her toes. This time Roxie didn't worry about where to put her hands and she pulled him in by his shirt to make the kiss more intoxicating. They finally parted both breathless from the kiss. Hunt picked her up effortlessly.

"Bedroom?"

"First on the right"

Hunt carried her into the bedroom and placed her down on the bed he took off his shirt and pants and then helped Roxie out of hers revealing her post natal body with her caesarean scar still visible. Hunt moved onto the bed and kissed her softly on the lips his lips then moved down her body and Roxie indulged missing the feel of a mans lips upon her skin. Roxie looked at Hunt who smiled up at her and he then pulled her down the bed and she let out a little scream. Hunt began to touch her playfully and she closed her eyes as she enjoyed the attention and smiled as she felt his full length enter her.

A Little While Later

After a marathon session of their own Skye and Chan made their way into the kitchen to replenish themselves with a snack and they were shocked and amazed to hear delighted and familiar noises coming from Roxie's room.

"Who's in there?"

"I don't know maybe Mark?"

"I don't think so you didn't see how angry he was"

"So who then?"

"I don't know I've been a little preoccupied" she said looking at Chan

"We'll find out in the morning"

Later That Night

Roxie collapsed next to Hunt on the bed and smiled as she reminisced about the evenings events.

"Hey" she said sitting up and looking down at him "We can't tell anybody about this"

"Who am I going to tell?"

"No I mean we have to be really quiet and careful not to give it away at the hospital"

"I thought Mark had moved on?"

"They judged me for coming back to work so soon imagine the judgement I'll get for sleeping with you. I just don't need it ok"

"That's ok by me"

Roxie smiled "So soldier do have the stamina for another go?"

Hunt laughed "You're insatiable" he said rolling on top of her and kissing her neck sweetly as he prepared himself for more sex with the beautiful woman beneath him.


	38. Chapter 38

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie walked over to Skye who was stood at the nurses station the closer Roxie got to her friend the bigger the smile on Skye's face.

"Well hello" said Skye "How are you this morning?" she asked

"Is this what you're like when you get laid?" asked Roxie

"Some people are happy and glowing and others…like you…don't seem altered at all"

Roxie stood shocked for a moment as she realised her best friend knew about her night with Owen.

"What do you mean?"

"Roxie come on you weren't exactly discreet about it. You were giving Chan and I a run for our money" Roxie knew she'd been rumbled by her friend "So who was it?"

"Nobody"

"It was somebody. Was it Mark? Did you two…"

"No"

"It wasn't Mark? Roxie please tell me you're not doing this to get to Mark"

"Skye I didn't think 'you' knew. How am I doing this to get back at him? I just…I just needed somebody" Roxie looked at her friend and she could feel the judgement "And you think I'm a bad person"

"No, no Roxie I don't I just don't want you doing this as a quick fix"

"Mark and I are over he made that perfectly clear"

"But that doesn't mean you're ready for another relationship"

"Who said it's a relationship?"

"Ok just be careful not to get yourself hurt"

Skye then walked away leaving Roxie behind wondering when she would ever be able to make a right decision in her life.

ELSEWHERE

Ryan walked over to Karev who was doing research for a case he had.

"Hey babe" she said kissing him on the cheek

Karev looked over at Ryan and saw the pile of books in front of her.

"What's all that?"

Ryan gave him a bewildered look "To say you're a doctor you're not that bright. They're books"

Karev smiled at Ryan's sarcasm "What are they for?"

"They're for me to become a nurse"

"A nurse?" asked Nurse Olivia overhearing

"Yeah I just started at Seattle University"

"You're going to be a nurse?"

"Hopefully"

"Wow well…I still have all my stuff if you want it?"

"That would be great" replied Ryan with a smile

"Ok well you'll have to come over sometime"

"Definitely"

"Don't you have something else to do Olivia?" snarled Karev and Olivia walked away

"What was that about?" asked Ryan suddenly clicking "You slept with nurse Olivia didn't you?"

"Actually he gave her syphilis" said Izzie approaching the nurses station

"Are you kidding me?"

"Thank you Izzie" said Karev as Izzie smiled and walked away

"Dirty boy" smiled Ryan teasing Alex

"Yeah, why are you here?"

"Ok don't go crazy but I want you to take a look at these" she said handing him some papers

Karev looked at the papers and saw they were house brochures.

"What are you giving me these for?"

"You were the one complaining about living at Skye's and I'm ready to make this commitment with you"

"You don't have the money to buy a house with me"

"Well actually my settlement came through"

"It did? He just gave it up like that?"

"No his mistress got knocked up" she informed him

"So how much are we talking?"

"That's a little rude but its enough to buy a house"

Karev gave Ryan an interested look "Alright we'll look but right now I have to work so…" Karev kissed Ryan "…take these with you and we'll go through them later"

"Ok but how busy is your day because I really need to see you in the on call room" she asked with a devilish smile

"Babe I would love to but I have to do some research for this surgery I have later. I'm sorry" he said kissing her on the cheek

"No problem I'll just wait till you come home" she picked up her books and walked away not before giving him a kiss goodbye

LATER

Roxie walked out of Dr Wyatt's after another session and made her way down the corridor to the elevator. The elevator door opened and Mark stood at the back of the elevator with three other people in front of him she glanced at Mark and stepped into the elevator. The doors opened on the next floor and except for herself and Mark the elevator cleared. The doors closed and Mark stepped to the side of Roxie.

"So how are the sessions going?" asked Mark

Roxie stood a little dumbfounded that Mark was talking to her as though their argument the day before hadn't happened.

"They're going good"

"What things do you talk about?"

"Not you if that's what you're worried about"

"No I'm not worried about that I just thought that you probably spoke to her about your private life like who you've dated, how your relationships ended, the whole situation with me and Derek and the baby and stuff like who you were having sex with last night"

Roxie looked over at Mark she wondered to herself how he knew about Owen.

"What?"

"Would your therapist consider you having sex yesterday a healthy progression or a quick fix solution?"

"I don't remember my sex life being any of your business"

"No it isn't not even when you sleep with and get knocked up by my best friend. I just hope this guy is sane enough to leave it at just sex. At least you had the decency not to have sex in our bed…or did the party move after I collected my things?"

"What?" asked a confused Roxie wondering what he was talking about as she and Owen spent the night in her room.

The elevator door opened and Mark walked out first and Roxie slowly followed behind to watch him walk away. Skye approached Roxie.

"Hey how was your session?"

"I think I just told Mark about last night"

"You told him?"

"Not in so many words he said he knew I was having sex when he came to collect his things"

"Collect his things? Oh that explains it"

"Explains what?"

"We heard a crash and when we came out there was a photo of you and Mark smashed on the floor"

"He heard you two? And I just told him I had sex last night, great"

"Who was it?"

"It doesn't matter who it was Skye I'm going to the ER"

A Little While Later

Roxie and Hunt were tending to a patient and Hunt felt that she was being very hostile.

"What's wrong?" he whispered into her ear as she got supplies

"Nothing"

"Then stop treating me like I'm the spawn of the devil"

They turned back to the patient just in time to see Mark enter the room.

"What have we got?" asked Sloan

"Sixty percent burn victim due to a chemical explosion" replied Hunt

"Right well all but little Grey can leave I don't need anybody else's help to do this"

Roxie left the room first and Hunt followed feeling the tension between Roxie and Mark.

"Is he why you're in a mood with me?"

"No"

"Then what is wrong?"

"I told you nothing"

"There's something bothering you"

"He knows I was with someone last night. He doesn't know its you but he's not gonna stop till he finds out who it is"

"Well I'm not going to tell anybody"

Roxie looked over into the room where Mark tended to the patients burns.

"I know"

"Just relax" said Hunt as he walked away

Roxie stared at Mark for a lingering moment she then turned and began to walk away needing a break from the ER.

A Little While Later

Roxie stood on the walk over looking at the view and trying to figure things out in her head like should she tell Mark about Owen before he finds out.

"Hi" said a familiar voice

Roxie turned to see Derek stood before her.

"Hi you're back?"

"Yeah I'm back"

"Nobody told me"

"I didn't know until this morning I just woke up and decided it was time"

"And the chiefs ok with you coming back?"

"Yeah he wants me to see a psychiatrist to make sure I'm dealing with things"

"But you're back on the board?"

"Yeah when I get some patients anyway. I was surprised to hear you came back so soon"

"Yeah well I just needed to keep busy. How's Meredith?"

"She's good she came back this morning too"

"And how's things between you and Mark?"

"Better he apologised for hitting me. I'm guessing things aren't too good between you two?"

"He's trying to force me out of my home"

"Ahh ok, well apart from that how are things?"

"Ok I guess. I'm a little a frustrated I have to see a shrink too but I ain't on the board"

"How are you coping?"

"I'm coping just great Derek. I need to get back to the ER" Roxie then walked away wondering how her day could get worse

"Roxie" called Derek after her with concern "Roxie" but she continued to walk away

LATER

Mark walked out of the patients door filling in a chart he then caught a glimpse of Derek and handed the chart to the intern.

"You're back?" asked Mark as he approached Derek

"Yeah I am"

"Does she know?" asked Mark referring to Roxie

"Yeah I saw her. She was a little distant"

"Yeah well trust me she's recovering"

"What does that mean?"

Mark rubbed his forehead with frustration and ran his hand down the back of his head "Nothing"

"She's just lost her baby you can't tell me she's recovering and then say nothing. I need to know if she's ok"

"She's moved on. I went to collect my things from the apartment last night and she was there with a guy"

"Oh" replied Derek wondering to himself if she was doing that to get over Mark or to shield herself from the realisation that her child had just died.

LATER

Roxie sat at the kitchen counter with a bottle of vodka and a glass in her hand trying to drown away the day she'd just endured. Just then a knock came at the door and Roxie placed her glass down on the counter and walked over to answer the door. She smiled as she saw Hunt stood before her.

"No one followed me, I made sure your roommates light was on. I wiped my fingerprints off the elevator button and I'll burn my shoes the second I get home so people can't trace the footprints back to me" said Hunt sarcastically

"Haha" replied Roxie

"So can I come in?"

"Sure" she said walking away from the door and picking up her glass and walking over to the sofa.

Hunt walked inside and closed the door behind him he then spied the bottle of vodka and helped himself.

"Drowning your sorrows?"

"Just taking the edge off"

"I know another way we can take the edge off" he said placing down his drink and making his way over to Roxie taking off his jacket throwing it in the chair as he did. He leaned over and kissed Roxie softly on the lips but they were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"You need to go into the bedroom while I answer that"

Hunt sighed and shook his head before he walked into the bedroom. Roxie then stood up and walked over to the door and was surprised to find Derek stood there.

"I need to know that you're ok" he said walking into the apartment uninvited

"I'm fine Derek you can go"

"Mark tells me you're seeing somebody"

"Did he?"

"Well are you?"

"Not that it's any of your business but no I'm not"

"Then who does the coat belong to?" asked Derek sitting down on the arm of the chair next to the coat Hunt had seconds ago thrown down.

"It's Chan, he's back and he's staying with me"

"Mark said he walked in to find you and another guy?"

"No Mark walked in and heard Chan and Skye and assumed it was me. Derek I'm fine, I'm going to therapy sessions I'm talking it out, I'm keeping busy in the ER. I'm dealing with it and the only thing that's bothering me is people asking me if I'm ok so just stop"

"Ok you're fine" he said standing up and making his way to the door "Just don't be afraid to come and talk to me if you need to"

"Thanks" she replied

Derek smiled and left the apartment as the door closed Hunt appeared from the bedroom.

"Everything ok?"

"You left your coat here"

"So I heard" he said walking over to Roxie and wrapping his arms around her waist "Shall we go to bed?"

Roxie smiled and kissed Hunt who picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.

A FEW DAYS LATER

Derek was in the locker room getting ready when Hunt walked in.

"Morning" said Derek

"Morning" replied Hunt taking off his jacket

"Nice jacket" said Derek noticing it was the same as the one on Roxie's couch

"Thanks" replied Hunt giving Derek a strange look

Just then the door opened and Mark walked in. He walked past both men without saying anything and putting his things away in his locker he then sat down on the bench and rested his head in his hands as he took a deep breath filled with frustration. Hunt left the room and Derek turned to his friend.

"What's wrong?"

"She's screwing another guy and I can't get a woman"

"What?"

"I went to Joe's last night and three women turned me down. I've never had any problem getting women before she's screwed me up"

"Did you ever think it's because you don't want another woman?"

Mark looked at Derek and wondered if his words were right and if he really did still want Roxie after everything that had happened.

"No that's not it" he said standing up and walking out of the locker room

LATER

Skye approached Roxie in the cafeteria and sat down beside her staring at her waiting for her friend to snap and tell her who she was sleeping with.

"I'm not telling you"

"So it's someone I know? And seen as though you're never out of the hospital it means its somebody from the hospital. Is it Karev?"

"Karev?"

"Well watching him and Ryan is nauseating so I was kind of hoping"

"It's not Karev"

"Shame so who is it?"

"I'm not telling you"

"Ok this is just an observation but he doesn't seem to be making you very happy"

"Skye I have a million things going around in my head Faith, Mark, Derek and that's before I start thinking about work or lack of it. I enjoy it when he's there but the problem is that after he's gone I have to keep him a secret because I can't deal with everybody talking about me and judging me and my every move and decision"

"Roxie you need to talk to someone about this"

"I have a shrink for that"

"So what now we can't talk?"

"Are you seriously picking a fight with me because I won't girl talk with you?"

"Since Faith died you won't talk to anybody about anything and all anybody is trying to do is help you. Your family came to Seattle and you wished they'd go home before they unpacked their bags. Your friends are trying to help you even Derek who has every right to be furious at you is trying to be supportive and you're just throwing it all back in our faces and dealing with this on your own and eventually its going to eat away at you. And Roxie I can't sit back and watch you do that" said Skye standing up and getting ready to leave

"Hunt" said Roxie getting Skye's attention. She turned around and looked at her friend and returned to her seat.

"Hunt?"

"Hunt, I'm sleeping with Hunt. It just happened, we kissed and then…it just happened. And it keeps happening"

"Do you like him?" asked Skye

Roxie hesitated "I love Mark"

"Oh Rox" said her friend with sympathy as she realised Hunt was just a substitute for the man Roxie really wanted.


	39. Chapter 39

LATER

Derek was in the ER checking on a patient who had been rushed in with a closed head trauma. He finished his examination ordering a CT from his intern he then walked over to Hunt who he caught sharing a glance with Roxie.

"So you're spending a lot of time with Roxie" said Derek

"What do you mean?" he said defensively

"Well with her being in the ER all the time you're spending more time with her than her friends and we're just concerned about her. I thought with you being around her so much you could tell me if she's coping?"

"I don't run a hospital helpline down here we haven't been sharing our deepest darkest secrets but she has been nothing but a model of professionalism. Whatever her problems may be she isn't letting them show in her work"

"Oh I'm sorry I must be mistaken I was told by a few staff members that you two were sociable outside the hospital"

"I don't think so"

"Oh it's just they mentioned you'd been to Joe's together a few times"

"Oh Joe's yeah well we didn't go together we were just both there and she's the only person I really know in this hospital"

"Oh ok well if she seems to be struggling or distressed or anything please let somebody know. We just want to make sure she's ok"

"I will do"

Derek then smiled and walked out of the ER leaving Hunt wondering if he knew about the two of them Roxie then approached.

"What was that about?" she asked

"He wanted to know if you were ok?"

"Why would he ask you?"

"Because you're working with me day in and day out"

"That's all he said?"

Hunt sighed with frustration and looked around to see if anyone was watching them directly and he pushed her into the nearest empty room and closed the blinds.

"What are you doing?" she asked

"You tell me because I'm damned if I know"

"What?"

"I know you're hurting, with what you've been through I'm surprised you're still standing. Maybe I'm wrong for even sleeping with you, taking advantage of your vulnerability"

"You didn't take advantage" she said cutting him off

"I respected your decision for keeping us quiet because you can't deal with all those judgmental eyes on you, I get that but don't you think you owe it to Sloan and Shepherd to give them a heads up because if they find out from someone else it's going to be like salt in the wound"

"Tell them what? Tell them that I was feeling so low and so hated by everybody around me that I slept with the first guy who was nice to me, who didn't judge me and that now I'm judging myself for doing it and what's worse the guys judging me too"

"I'm not judging"

"Who are you kidding?"

Hunt exhaled with frustration and turned away from Roxie trying to calm himself

"I think we both made a mistake" stated Hunt "We were both looking for someone to make us feel better"

"And what's wrong with that?" asked Roxie walking up behind him placing her hands on his abdomen and nuzzling her forehead and nose into his back.

Hunt pivoted on the spot and pulled Roxie in close to his chest and held her tight.

"They still deserve to know"

"And when there's something to tell them I will but right now we're just keeping each other company"

"Company?"

"You know what I mean"

"Yeah" said Hunt looking down at Roxie who was still in his arms "Keeping each other company"

Roxie pulled away from Hunt and smiled at him when suddenly the door flung open and Meredith walked in.

"Oh I'm sorry I was looking for you Dr Hunt we have multiple traumas coming in…"

Hunt walked towards Grey "When you're ready come and join us ok? Take your time"

Hunt then walked out of the room with Grey close behind "Is she ok?" asked Meredith

"She'll be fine"

"That's not what I asked"

"Who are you?"

"Err…I'm Meredith Grey"

"Shepherds girlfriend?"

"Yes"

"So you know what she's going through? You know she's not alright but she's dealing with it in her own way"

Hunt continued to make his way outside to wait for the incoming trauma

ELSEWHERE

Derek stood staring into space as he tried to take in the information he'd gained about Roxie and Owen and how he was going to break this to his best friend Mark whom he knew he couldn't keep another secret from. Skye approached the nurses station where Derek was in a world of his own she noticed this and approached him.

"Hi" said Skye snapping him out of his daze

"Hi"

"Are you ok?"

"Yes I'm fine. Skye how's Roxie?"

"She's dealing with things. Working through them mainly but every person's different right?"

"Has she done anything hastily?"

"Like?"

"I don't know thrown things out of the nursery, redecorated, started seeing people?"

Skye didn't know whether she was doing her friend any favours by keeping her new involvement with Owen a secret but she knew it wasn't her business to share so she smiled at Derek and looked him in the eyes "No throwing things out, no redecorating, no new relationships"

"And you're sure?"

"I've practically been living at her apartment, Chan's back and he's staying with her"

"Oh right yeah she did tell me that, ok well I just want to keep an eye on her I don't want her to think she's got no one to turn to"

"She knows" smiled Skye

"Ok well I've got things to do so, thanks Skye"

"No problem"

Derek then walked away and Skye smiled as she watched him leave, after going through all he had in the last few weeks he was still more concerned with everybody else's wellbeing rather than his own.

A FEW DAYS LATER

Chan entered the hospital nervously. He wasn't afraid of what the chief had lined up for him but of what his colleagues greetings were going to be like. The last they'd seen of him was an outraged and strung out guy in a wheelchair being wheeled away to a rehab centre. On his return he walked in by himself, clean cut and ready to prove himself to everybody he'd let down. He slowly made his way through the hospital not knowing whether the eyes he felt on him were eyes of disgust and disbelief from the hospital staff or paranoia on his part but he ignored them regardless and walked to the chief's office where he knocked on the door and waited to be called in. Once he heard the call to enter he did so and approach cautiously he sat down across from the chief and waited for him to break the news to Chan of his duties now he was back in the hospital.

"Chan I have been speaking with the board and although we don't feel you're ready to return to work full time we do feel that you're education and experiences can be used in a positive way on a voluntary basis temporarily until the board come together again to discuss your progress and review this situation"

"Ok in what positive way can my education and experiences be used?"

"We have decided to start a support group for recovering drug addicts and we would like you to be the counsellor"

"Me?"

"Who better than a recovering addict who is going through the process himself"

"Exactly I'm not in any moral standing to talk to these people and tell them how to vanquish their demons?"

"Reports from the rehab centre say you worked hard; you never put up a fight and were always willing to participate, there were no relapses and have been none according to your sponsor. By all accounts they were very much impressed with your work ethic to beat this and they believe in you and feel you have this beaten and have all recommended you for this counsellor position. It takes nothing for me to assign one of the therapists to this group nothing at all but the way those men and women respond to the counsellor is another thing. If I send in an educated professional who tells them the bad side to all of this they're going to feel like they're being lectured and it will be a negative experience. If I send you in there not only am I sending in an educated professional who can highlight the bad points I am also sending in someone who can relate to their state of minds, their experiences, their fears and in return they will see that there is a guy sat in front of them going through exactly the same thing and that if he can do it they can do it and your strength may be the one defining factor that saves them from relapsing. I know this is a lot of responsibility falling on your shoulders but you did this at the rehab centre and I know your counsellor was an ex addict so tell me did that make a difference?"

"Yeah chief but he was an ex addict. Clean for like eight years, it hasn't even been eight months for me and you want me to tell these guys that they can do it they can beat this when I myself don't know if this is true"

"You have to believe it's true in order to come through the other side"

"You talk like one of them"

"I had a drink problem" the chief revealed to a stunned Chan

"You did?"

"Yes I went through all the support groups and twelve step programs and it wasn't until I found a support group run by a recovering alcoholic herself that I realised it could be done. I could stop and I could control it and it didn't have to take over my life"

"Don't you worry that your demons aren't really gone?"

"Everyday but without those support groups and those stories from other people that stick in the back of your head it would be so easy to pick up a glass of bourbon but because of those support groups and because of the stories I can walk into a bar and drink club soda because I've witnessed first hand what it can do both to myself and people I've met in the support group and people I've come across in the hospital. Alcohol and drugs aren't that different they both give you a euphoric feeling to begin with, they both stunt your abilities, they both make you feel like you're invincible, they both wreck your body and your health deteriorates and they both have the same distasteful and ultimately agonising after effects and they both have a hook something that keeps you coming back. You know you're going to feel like crap afterwards but you still go back for more. Taking this job, this responsibility is your chance to help those just like yourself from ever saying yes to them again. I know you're scared that it's not over and I've been informed you're staying with Roxie probably through fear of what may happen when you're alone but you're not going through or feeling anything that any other addict hasn't felt before you. I can't force you to take this job as it's voluntary and not apart of your recovery but I would recommend it. I just need to know by the end of the day"

"Thanks chief I'll think about it and let you know"

"Ok"

Chan then rose from his seat and made his way out of the office.

A Little While Later

Chan entered the ER to find Skye after promising he would once he'd spoken with the chief. Skye spied Chan and made her way over.

"So?" she asked

"He wants me to counsel a support group"

"Is that a good thing?" asked Skye not sure what was going through Chan's head

"I don't know what happens if I…"

Suddenly the doors flung open and a gurney was pushed in with a severe case.

"Chan babe I'm sorry but I have to go deal with this. Hang out go to the cafeteria I'll catch up with you"

Chan stood and watched the chaos around him wishing he could return to his former self before any of the bad stuff had happened.

A Little While Later

Chan stood inside the drug dispensary staring at the shelves wondering to himself if this feeling of freedom he had would last and if not when would the urges return. The door then opened and Roxie appeared to find Chan.

"Chan?"

"It's not what it looks like"

"It looks like you're stood in the dispensary"

Chan turned and looked at Roxie and she could see the hurt inside of him.

"What if I fail?"

"Fail at what?" she asked stepping closer to her friend

"What if I get better and I get back here and then I have this kind of access to the drugs and I can't help myself. I'll ruin my life, and I'll break her heart"

"You have to look at it like this Chan, every day you take a leap of faith without realising. Stepping out in front of traffic not knowing that they're all paying attention and that they're going to stop at the red light, getting into any relationship not knowing whether its going to be a good or bad thing, sleeping with someone not knowing why or in some case not knowing them. In everyday life you take these leaps of faith now I know this is a huge one this is something you have the reigns on and if you fail at this its your fault no one else's I know that but you're stronger than this. You didn't start the vicodin because you needed a pick me up you innocently got addicted while being treated for severe pain and you know that; you know you don't need them and you recovered, you got past this, you're the only reason you're here today. Counsellors and therapists can sit there and encourage you and advise you but it's your actions that count and yours got you here; back home with your girl and your friends"

"Who are judging me"

"You get used to it"

"You shouldn't have to" he said with empathy for his broken friend

"They're all wondering why I'm not a bubbling tearful mess it's because I can't go there because I know if I do I might not come back. I went to that place when my mother left and it was a long way back. See yours is drugs mines self pity we all have our vices and our own way of getting over or past them its nice to have a helping hand but at the end of the day you get there by yourself. It's tough right now but this time next year when you're in your own home, happily married to Skye with maybe a bambino on the way you won't be afraid anymore or you'll at least be less afraid"

Chan kissed Roxie on the cheek and walked out of the dispensary leaving a saddened Roxie behind wondering when she'd stop hurting.

LATER

"I'll do it" said Chan as he stood in front of the chief accepting the position of counsellor

A WEEK LATER

Alex and Ryan followed the real estate agent around the huge house they had seen driving home one night. Ryan looked around mesmerised as Karev looked around wondering to himself how much money Ryan had actually received in her settlement if she were able to afford the houses she'd got in mind.

"So what do we think?" asked the agent

"I like it but it's very traditional"

"That's the appeal of the property"

"Yeah but I don't like it"

"It would be your property for you to alter as you wish"

"Yeah but why should I pay full price for the property then pay extra on top to get the house to the standard I want it?"

"The owners are selling as seen"

"Yeah but I could get a modern house at a more reasonable price in fact our other realtor showed us a very nice property which is closer to my partners hospital also"

Ryan smiled as she saw the panic on the realtors face "Well I don't think that you will get a better house in better condition than this beautiful property but you're right why should you pay the full asking price and then more to get that modern look you're after. I'll call in an offer ten thousand under the asking"

"Five hundred thousand under the asking price"

"Five hundred?" asked the realtor

"Five hundred?" echoed Alex

"Five hundred yes"

"Ok I'll make the call right now" said the realtor walking away

"What are you doing?" asked Alex

"Getting us this house"

"Five hundred thousand under the asking? This house is worth every dime of the asking price"

"Yeah and it's being sold because of a divorce which means it's a quick sell deal and they will a take bargain basement price just to unload it. Why pay more than we have to?"

"Are you serious about all this renovation?"

"Not all of it but he has to think I'm serious about it" she replied pointing at the realtor

"And our other realtor?" asked Karev wondering when they'd got another realtor

"He's working on commission. He can't risk losing this sale"

The realtor then hung up and returned to Alex and Ryan who were stood waiting.

"Ok I sent in your offer and they're going to call us back. So I'll contact you when I hear something"

"Ok great thank you" said Ryan

LATER AT ROXIES APARTMENT

Roxie and Chan were sat down on the sofa their laps full of property brochures and numbers as Roxie tried to figure out her best solution to Mark's impending proposition.

"So what are you going to do?" asked Chan

Roxie looked around the apartment "This was my home. It was my apartment 'he' turned it into 'our' home and now my choices are leave my home and find somewhere else just as good or buy him out and live in a huge ass apartment which when you've gone will just be a constant reminder that I'm alone without Mark, without Faith and that I only have myself to blame. Decisions, decisions"

"Why don't I go halves with you?"

"What?"

"Why don't I buy Mark out?"

"Well for a start you're not working"

"My finances are just fine thank you plus I will sell my apartment which will probably cover it"

"Why would you do that?"

"You don't want to be alone, neither do I"

"You have Skye?"

"I also have to take it slowly with her. I have to have my own space until I am one hundred percent sure that I'm over this thing"

"Chan thank you, so much but I don't think your fiancé is going to be very happy if you buy a place her best friend"

Chan smiled "I'd be buying Mark's apartment which just so happens to be apart of yours"

"Ok say you did and then you get one hundred percent sure and you leave to set up a life with the girl you love. I'm still left with half an apartment I don't own so its either buy from Mark now or you later but ultimately I'm going to end up in this big ass apartment all on my own"

"So you're moving?"

"Looks like it"

"What about Hunt? He'd be around to keep you company"

Roxie gave Chan a look "She's my fiancé she tells me everything"

"She wonders why I didn't want to tell her?"

"Don't be angry with her she's just worried you're with him for all the wrong reasons"

"I'm with him because he doesn't judge me, I'm with him because he's nice to me and because I need somebody because I've felt so lonely in my life"

"Hey you've got me and Skye"

"No you and Skye have each other. I know you're there if I ever need you but I don't have anybody out here. It's nice having him around"

"Is the shrink working?"

"I don't know I don't really believe in them"

"Well I'm always here, you could talk to me then when you go see her it just looks like there's progress and you don't have to tell her a damn thing"

Roxie smiled "Too late she knows everything but my cup size"

Chan smiled "So she's gotta be helping then?"

"She's making me bring things up that I put to rest a long time ago and I can't understand what this has to do with Faith and how it's going to get me back in the OR"

A knock came at the door and Roxie smiled at Chan and squeezed his leg as she stood up and made her way to the door she opened it and two seconds later Chan saw Owen carrying Roxie in attached to his lips. Hunt caught a glimpse of Chan and placed Roxie down on the floor and stood upright.

"There's no way out of this is there?" asked Hunt staring at Chan

"He knows anyway" she replied with a smile "Lucky for you" she said playfully smacking Hunt in the stomach "Owen meet Chan"

Hunt walked over and shook Chan's hand "Nice to meet you"

"Yeah and its nice to finally put a face to the…muffled sounds" joked Chan with a sarcastic smile

Roxie laughed "Yeah alright" replied Hunt a little embarrassed

"Don't worry I'm going I have a dinner date with my fiancé" Chan walked over to Roxie and kissed her on the cheek "See you later Rox. Hunt it was nice meeting you"

"You too" replied Hunt as he watched Chan leave the apartment "So he knows?"

"Yeah"

"And Dr McKenzie?"

"Skye and yeah she knows too"

"So we're just not telling Sloan and Shepherd?"

"They're in the room down the hall from us they were going to find out so I just told them"

"With that method of thinking shouldn't we tell…" Roxie cut Hunt off with a breathtaking kiss. Hunt pulled her in close and wrapped his arms around her tight the kissing becoming more intense. Hunts hands moved from around her petite frame to her face which he cupped gently backing her against the wall. He took off his jacket without breaking the kiss he then effortlessly picked Roxie up and carried inside the bedroom kicking the door closed behind him.


	40. Chapter 40

LATER

Hunt kissed at Roxie's neck as her fingernails dug deep into his back the sensitivity of his touch turning to intensity of her senses. As they continued they heard the door open and close behind them not deterred by Chan and Skye's return they continued as Roxie pushed Hunt over onto his back she mounted him and her lips began an exploration of his sweating and writhing body they then heard a loud crash and Roxie stopped what she was doing and looked at the closed door wondering what was happening on the other side of it.

"What was that?" she asked

"They're probably just…having fun" he replied with a smile

"Yeah, yeah you're right" Roxie then smiled and leant in to kiss Hunt on the lips a few seconds later they heard another crash this time something breaking. Roxie stopped kissing Hunt.

"Ok that's not them" she said climbing off the bed and throwing on Hunts shirt.

Hunt then jumped out of bed throwing on his boxers he followed her out of the room and into the living area where he found her stood dumbfounded at the sight of Mark laying on top of a woman on the coffee table looking up at Roxie. Mark then smiled and stood up looking at Roxie who stood in just her underwear and Hunts shirt and at Hunt who stood in just his boxers.

"Baby go wait for me second door on the right" the woman walked away and did as said by Mark "Dr Hunt welcome to our home"

Roxie turned to Hunt "Go back in the room"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I need to talk to him"

Hunt obliged and walked back inside the bedroom leaving Mark and Roxie alone.

"What are you doing here?" asked Roxie

"Well this morning I got my very expensive hotel bill and as I was paying for it I asked myself why? Why am I paying a very expensive hotel bill when I have a home of my own? So I'm back and right now I'm going to go to my room and enjoy my company" Mark started to walk away and he turned back "Hey it's a good job we turned the office into an extra bedroom isn't it?" he said with a smirk as he walked away towards his room

Roxie stood and watched him disappear out of sight and as his door closed Hunt appeared at hers now in his pants he walked out of the room and over to Roxie he sat down on the sofa arm next to her.

"What do I do?" asked Hunt

"Leave" Roxie turned to Hunt "I'm sorry it's just there's nothing you can do and you shouldn't have to"

"What are you going to do?" asked Hunt

"I don't know" said Roxie taking off Hunt's shirt.

She stood in front of him in just her bra and panties holding his shirt out for him. He then pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her waist placing his hand on her ass.

"Don't" said Roxie trying to pull away but Hunt wouldn't let her go and pulled her in closer and kissed her softly on the lips after momentarily reciprocating she pulled away "I can't do this" she said pushing herself away again but Hunt never letting his grip go "Owen let go"

"No" Roxie stopped fighting and looked at Owens eyes she then kissed him and took hold of his hand and guided him into the bedroom.

THE NEXT MORNING

Roxie sat on the edge of the bed wondering what would be awaiting her on the other side of the door. Just then she felt Owens hand on her side she jumped slightly and looked back at him and smiled he then sat up and started to kiss the back of her neck.

"I need to get out there and deal with him"

"I'm gonna hit the shower then" Hunt then climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

A Little While Later

After sitting in the bedroom dreading the thought of what she may find and have to deal with on the other side of the door she took a deep breath and Roxie stood up and made her way into the living area where she found Chan cleaning up the mess Mark and his friend had made the evening before.

"When Hunt comes around could you clean up after yourselves?" joked Chan

"Yeah that's not ours"

"Then who's…?" asked Skye

At that moment Mark appeared from around the corner along with his company.

"Oh" said Skye

"I'll see you later baby" he said kissing her goodbye as he watched her leave.

"I…he…what?" said a bewildered Skye

"Why are you back?" asked Chan

"Because this is my home and if you want to continue to staying here I'd be a little nicer to me"

"He's not your guest" said Roxie

"I know sweetheart but technically he's in my apartment"

"What do you want a line painted down the middle of the apartment?"

"No there's no need for that I'm sure we can all live like a big dysfunctional family"

Hunt then joined the group and stood stern behind Roxie as if protecting her.

"You said I could buy you out?"

"I changed my mind, this is a nice apartment and I put a lot of work into it"

"Why are you doing this?"

Mark got in Roxie's face "Why shouldn't I be in my home? You slept with best friend. You got knocked up by my best friend. You lied to me for three months. And now you are bringing other men into our home and into our bed. I ask again why shouldn't I be in my home?" Hunt then pushed Mark away from Roxie and stepped in front of her "Do you want to start something?" asked Mark

"Roxie go wait in the car" said Hunt

"No I'm not"

"Roxie!"

"Come on Rox lets go downstairs" said Skye walking her friend out of the apartment

"So is her new schmuck going to tell me to leave her alone now?" asked Mark

"I think you're pathetic. Derek told you about Roxie and me so you come back here to claim your ground and push me out. Not because you hate staying at the hotel, not because Roxie's sleeping with me, not even because you hate Roxie in fact the opposite it's because you love her but she lied to you and she hurt you and you can't forgive that easily and you think by hurting her as much as she hurt you it will help you to forgive her and then maybe you pick things up where you left off"

"You think you know?"

"Tell me I'm wrong"

Mark stood silent for a moment and then smiled "Don't tell me you're threatened Hunt?"

"Not by you"

The smile soon left Mark's face and Hunt along with Chan left the apartment and left Mark wondering to himself whether it was a good decision he'd made returning to the apartment he'd once shared with Roxie.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie paced the room angrily as she divulged the days actions to her audience.

"He just walked in unannounced and took claim to his half of the apartment"

"What's wrong with that? It's his isn't it?"

Roxie stopped pacing and looked at Dr Wyatt "Yeah it is but he left, he chose to leave and now he's back playing games with me. He said he didn't want to be with me he made that decision and now he's back and he's torturing me"

"Games? What do you mean by that?"

"The women, he knows I want to be with him, he knows I still love him and he's parading these women in front of me to hurt me"

"And what are you doing with Owen?"

"That's completely different he didn't even know about Owen"

"Whether he knew or not you're still playing games at Owen's expense"

"No…I'm not playing games"

"You have just sat there and told me you love Mark and want to be with him yet you're sleeping with Owen. You started sleeping with Owen because you missed Mark and if the opportunity came about where you and Mark could reconcile you would probably dump Owen because he's just a proxy"

"Doctor Wyatt do you ever feel like this psychiatry game is a crock of shit"

"Excuse me?" asked Dr Wyatt

"Well you don't know what's happening to a person unless they choose to tell you. All you can do is make an assumption on the information they choose to give you and let's face it everyone in the world does this so the only difference between you and everybody else in the world is you get paid to make an assumption. Fact is though Doc you don't know shit. You can sit here and say that Owens a proxy and I'm just using him to fill a void but the truth is you don't know anything about me or about what I'm feeling"

"I know you just said you love Mark"

Roxie sat the anger inside her bubbling as she listened to Dr Wyatt telling her things she had tried to ignore.

"I have to go" she said standing up

"You have to stay for the duration of your session"

"Yeah well if I do there's a good chance I won't work in this hospital again because I'll put you through a wall. So I think it's the best thing for both of us if I leave right now"

Roxie made her way to the door.

"Prove me wrong" Roxie turned to face Dr Wyatt with intrigue "I'm very good at my job, at making assumptions. You prove me wrong and show me that Owen isn't a proxy and you truly got together because you're ready to move on and I will sign you off, 'if' you prove me wrong"

Roxie then stormed out of the office slamming the door behind her. Dr Wyatt sighed as she felt she was winning a losing battle.

ELSEWHERE

Derek approached Mark who was stood charting and he stared at his friend. Mark could feel Derek's eyes on him and he turned his head to look at his friend.

"What?" asked Mark

"I just heard a crazy thing about you and I'm really hoping it's not true"

"That I moved back into the apartment? It's true"

"Mark what are you doing?"

"She moved on"

"I told you about Roxie and Owen so that you didn't find out through idle gossip. I didn't tell you so you could go there and cause trouble"

"It's my home"

"Which you left. You told her you didn't want to be with her anymore that you couldn't forgive her and now that she's with Owen you decide you want her back"

"I don't want her back"

"Then why are you doing this?"

"I'm not doing anything. Half of that apartment is mine"

"Which you were selling to Roxie until you found out about Owen. Mark you need to decide whether you love her or hate her and if you can't forgive her then you have to let her go its cruel leaving her hanging on a thread"

Derek began to walk away "Both" said Mark causing Derek to turn back and approach Mark once more "Both I love her and I hate her. I hate her for doing what she did to us both. I hate her for lying and for making me fall in love with that little girl but I can't stop loving her and it hurts knowing her and Hunt are together"

"Moving back to the apartment and playing games isn't going to help"

"Then what will?"

Derek placed his hand on his friends shoulder comforting him through the difficult time.

LATER IN THE DOCTORS LOUNGE

Ryan stormed through the door and dumped the folders on the table before dropping them.

"Sorry I'm late" she said apologetically

"No worries" said Skye looking at the folders filled with wedding stuff

"So why the sudden hurry for a wedding?" asked Ryan

Just then the door opened and Roxie walked in.

"Because I told her to"

"What am I missing?" asked Ryan with a look of confusion

"Skye feels awkward having the wedding because of Faith dying. I've told her she needs to marry him before someone else does"

"So we're going ahead with this?"

"As soon as you can arrange things" replied Skye

"Ok well let me make some calls" Ryan dialled a number and walked over into the corner for some privacy and Roxie sat on the arm of the chair and looked at Skye.

"How are you?" asked Skye

"Angry I'm angry. The shrink thinks I'm only with Owen because I can't have Mark"

"Is it true?"

Roxie hesitated for a moment "No I didn't get with him because I was lonely…in fact he was the one who kissed me. I wasn't looking for anybody it just happened and he's a nice guy who doesn't judge me for all my mistakes"

"So why are you angry?"

"She told me if I can prove to her he's not a proxy she'll sign me off and I can get back in the OR"

"Well that's great"

"How do I prove it to her?" asked Roxie

"I don't know"

"Me either" Roxie slid down into the chair and Ryan hung up her call.

"Ok lets get this started" she said with a smile sitting down next to Skye

A WEEK LATER – AT ROXIES APARTMENT

Roxie walked out of her room ready to leave for work she walked around the corner into the kitchen and straight into one of Mark's notches reaching up into the cupboard eating her food and wearing Marks shirt the one she always wore when they were together. The girl spotted Roxie and shyly turned to her trying to pull the shirt down to cover her dignity.

"Oh hi, I'm Sonya" she said stepping forward and extending her hand

Roxie stared at the girl and fought the urge to punch her she then heard Mark enter the room behind her and rather than give him the satisfaction of knowing this girls presence was bothering her she rose above and took the girls hand.

"Roxie I'm Mark's ex. Nice to meet you but I'm late for work" she said with a smile on her face as she left the apartment

The girl looked over at Mark with a confused look on her face.

"You live with your ex girlfriend?" she asked

Mark sighed as he realised Roxie's mature approach to the situation was just a way of subtly screwing him over.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie and Skye walked through the corridor discussing the mornings events.

"She just put her hand right out there trying to be friendly"

"In her defence Rox she doesn't know about you and Mark"

"She wasn't his type"

"Female is Mark's type"

"Thanks" replied Roxie

"You were different, you meant something to him but I'm sorry sweetie he pursued you because you were new and aloof, a conquest"

"Wow I feel so special"

"I'm just telling it like it is. Don't you have a shrink to talk to about all this stuff?"

"Yeah but you're my person, you're the one I want to talk to about all this stuff"

"And that's sweet and I'm honoured but I have back to back surgeries and on my lunch break I have wedding plans to make so I'm sorry Rox but I just don't have time today. Go see the shrink and talk to her"

"No she can't know about this"

"She's your shrink!"

"Yeah but by obsessing over the female in my kitchen this morning I'm not exactly showing her that Owen is more than a substitute Mark"

"Roxanne you really, really do need this shrink" said Skye with a smile kissing her friend on the cheek and walking away

"I have an amazing surgery today if you want to join me" said Owen approaching Roxie from behind. Roxie turned to face him and was greeted by a kiss.

"Nice thought but I can't"

"You can't even observe"

"Oh I can observe but I'm an attending not an intern…I can't observe I need to cut" Roxie then realised that was the therapy she really needed "I have to go" said Roxie walking away leaving a confused Owen behind

AT DR WYATTS OFFICE

Derek sat on the couch squeezing a stress ball as he attended another of his sessions.

"So how are you today?" asked Dr Wyatt

"I'm good"

"Good? You're coming up to the first month anniversary of your daughters death and you're good?"

"She was…If a guy got hit by a truck in Texas I wouldn't mourn for him"

"What are you trying to say?"

"I had little over a week with her. I couldn't hold her to me she was a sick child who had my genes…she wasn't my daughter. I know she was but this is going to sound terrible the whole time I was in the NICU I was concerned with my relationship with Meredith how this little child was going to effect my relationship with her"

"When she died what was you're first thought?"

"Roxie, I empathised with her. I felt sorry for her, she'd lost everything, the man she loved and the baby that had been apart of her for six months. I still had Meredith and although Faith had died I hadn't had time to get to know her so any pain I had Roxie's must have been a million times worse. My first thought was Roxie"

"How do you think she's coping?"

"I don't think she is"

"Care to elaborate?"

"Shouldn't you be asking her these questions?"

"Sometimes it helps to get an understanding of a person from someone else perspective"

Derek exhaled loudly and tried to use his words wisely "She's an extremely independent person, and for a small period of time she let Mark in and she trusted him started to enjoy being looked after. Then she made the realisation that Faith may not be Marks and she got scared because she was happy and she knew she had to become independent once again because she knew deep down she had to tell him and no one will ever know if she'd have told him before the end of the nine months not even her but I believe she was preparing herself and was finding it hard because she'd become co-dependent. Now they're not together and she's got Chan living with her and Skye her best friend is there constantly because Chan's her fiancée and then she gets involved with Dr Hunt maybe she was lonely, maybe she was trying to move on, maybe she was trying to prove to herself she didn't need Mark. I don't know her reasons for getting involved with him but the one thing you can see clearly is she is now struggling to be independent she's desperate for someone to look after but to proud to ask for help. I think she's dealing with everything the best way she knows how but I also think she's keeping a lot bottled up and I honestly believe she's waiting for Mark. She's waiting for him to forgive her so she can rely on him again and all the stuff she's bottling up she can share with him and feel comfortable knowing that he's there for her"

"You're very intuitive Dr Shepherd if you weren't an amazing neurosurgeon you'd make an even better psychiatrist"

Derek smiled and just then a knock came at the door and Dr Wyatt excused herself and answered the door to find Roxie stood in front of her.

"Dr Leoni"

"Sign me off"

"Excuse me?"

"Sign me off"

"I can't discuss this with you right now. I have a patient"

"I came in here on my first day and I didn't hold back. I went along with this crap. I talked, I shared and I listened to you depict everything and analyse and criticise. I listened to your suggestions even though I believe this is the biggest pile of crap. I have done everything you have asked of me and I am getting impatient now"

"Dr Leoni…"

"I need to get back into the OR"

"You don't need anything"

"Yes I do and this, this is unfair. Derek lost a child a too and he's still scrubbing in" Just then Derek appeared in Roxie's eye line. Roxie sighed "It's not fair"

"Come in" said Dr Wyatt letting Roxie into the office


	41. Chapter 41

LATER

"What makes you think you're ready for the OR?" asked Dr Wyatt

"What makes you think I'm not?" snarled Roxie

"You lost your child, you lost the man you love"

"Oh my God! Why am I being punished?"

"Punished?" asked Derek

"That's what it feels like. Not being allowed in the OR it feels like I'm being punished. You don't think that every doctor out there has a problem? Come on you're a shrink and you're in this hospital everyday you hear things just like I do. Meredith drowned and died and came back to life she walks back through the door and straight into the OR. Yang is left at the altar by her fiancée and she comes back and starts her residency. O'Malley's father dies and he marries Torres and then cheats on her with his best friend who's fiancée died in this hospital. Baileys having a tough time with her marriage. The chiefs marriage is over and all of those people are in the OR. They were never kept from the OR through all their troubles they never stopped working. And I hate to break this to you but my life has been pretty much screwed up and hellish since the day I was born it's not a matter of deciphering and conquering it's a matter of dealing and surviving and I was doing just that when my mother left, when my family abandoned me at the military school, when Mark cheated on me, when I found out the baby may not be his; through it all until the day I collapsed and haemorrhaged I was working and I was in the OR and not one of my patients suffered through my turmoil. I didn't let my problems affect my work the chief knew about my problems with the exception of Faiths biological father and he had no problem letting me scrub in but now because this little child who I didn't even have time to get to know has died I am being punished. I am sad she died I am really but the truth is I can't miss her because I didn't know her. Yours and the chiefs fear is that I'm going to breakdown in the OR and suddenly realise that I lost my daughter. I know I've lost her, I've dealt with it and you know the thing that's really bothering me is Mark and his lady friends in my apartment, half naked in my kitchen that's bugging me but luckily for my patients that anger drives me and I will probably kick ass better in a surgery where I am furious than a surgery where I'm placid and at one with the earth. So stop trying to fix me and just let me work"

Roxie stared at Dr Wyatt and waited for her response.

"That's not how it works"

"This is ridiculous" said Roxie as she stood up and walked out of the room

Dr Wyatt looked at Derek who exhaled loudly as the room filled with silence.

"She has a point" stated Derek

LATER

Roxie sat on one of the beds in the on call room staring into space when the door opened and Derek walked in he sat on the end of the bed and looked at Roxie.

"You're right it is unfair"

Roxie looked at Derek and shook her head

"What they don't realise is if I'm not working I have more time to think about things and I'm tired of thinking about Mark, my mistakes and what I've lost. Ironically I need to be signed off from psyche so I get back into the OR so I can feel somewhat sane again"

"It's a catch twenty two"

"It's hell. Did I sound like an insensitive bitch when I said I couldn't miss Faith?"

"No"

"I don't miss her because I didn't know her. I miss what she could have been, what I could have had if she hadn't died. All those things me and Mark were preparing for and looking forward to those things I miss because I'm not going to get them with Faith"

"I get that" smiled Derek

Just then Roxie's pager went off she looked at Derek and smiled.

"Thank you" said Roxie as she stood up

"For what?"

"You have no reason to sit here and look after me. I lied to you yet you're here anyway, thank you"

"No problem"

Roxie then walked out of the on call room and made her way to the nurses station.

"I was paged" said Roxie

"Dr Leoni" said the chief from behind Roxie turned to face him

"I have just been visited by Dr Wyatt and she has officially signed you off"

Roxie stood dumbfounded as she realised she was free to go back into the OR.

"Are you serious?" she asked

"Yes effective immediately"

"I can operate again?"

"Yes congratulations" said the chief walking away

For the first time in a long time Roxie was genuinely happy as the smile shone on her face.

A Little While Later

Roxie stood at the nurses station looking through charts before she rounded up her resident and interns ready for her first day back in the OR. Mark then approached the nurse's station.

"Hi" he said looking at Roxie

Roxie didn't know how to respond to him but she felt her first official day back should remain professional "Hi" she replied

"I heard you're back in the OR congratulations"

"Thanks" smiled Roxie as Mark smiled

"Hi" said Skye appearing at the side of Roxie taking her attention away from Mark

"Hi"

"How much do you love me?" she asked with a huge smile on her face

"I prefer Chan to be honest"

"Oh really? So you won't be wanting this kick ass surgery I have?"

"You have a surgery?" asked Roxie with intrigue

"Guy came into the ER after having a heart attack behind the wheel he has completely shattered his leg and dislocated his shoulder and also requires a double valve replacement"

"Oh don't torment me. So what is there for me?"

"A double valve replacement"

"What? That's cardio"

"You can do cardio who are you kidding come on Rox this is a great opportunity for a comeback surgery"

"Killing the patient? Like I don't have something to prove"

"You do cardio cases"

"Not my first surgery back don't we have a perf bowel or something?"

"You want all these people to stop looking at you with that poor puppy dog look and you want to prove to the chief and the shrink that you're not only fine but fantastic this is the surgery to do it"

"What about Hahn?"

"She's in surgery for the next five hours. This is the way God wants it otherwise he would have had that heart attack before she went into surgery"

"You have a very Machiavellian approach to surgery"

"That's why I'm the head of Ortho" she said with a smile "Are you in?"

Roxie took a deep breath and nodded "Yeah, yeah I'm in"

"I'll get it on the board"

Skye then left her friend wondering if she'd made the right decision she then turned to look at Mark who had gone. She exhaled loudly and then walked away.

LATER

Roxie was pacing down in the ER as Owen worked on a patient.

"What are you nervous about this is what you do?"

"No I fix perforated bowels, take out appendix I can do cardio but it's not what I do"

"Have you ever had a problem before with cardio?"

"No but…"

"But nothing you've been away from the OR you haven't had a lobotomy you know how to do this otherwise you wouldn't have taken the case on. Stop worrying about it being your first surgery back and just be happy that you're back"

"Dr Hunt I have the X-rays you asked for" said a returning Yang

"Yang" said Roxie

Yang looked at Roxie and gave her a bewildered look

"Leoni?"

"You're good at cardio"

"Thank you?" she replied giving a confused expression

"Very good at cardio, in fact you're wasted here in the pit"

"Tell me about it"

Roxie smiled at Hunt and he smiled back "Take her if it helps" he said concentrating on his patient

"Yang you're now my resident"

"Yours? You're back?"

"Yep and I have a double valve replacement on the board and I need a resident with your expertise. So pit or cardio?"

"Are you serious I can scrub in?"

"Yeah he's scheduled for two"

"Thank you. I'll go and deal with my other cases"

Yang walked away and Roxie felt a little easier knowing she had Yang in the OR with her.

"Do you feel better now?" asked Owen

"Yeah a little insurance can't hurt right?"

LATER IN THE SCRUB ROOM

Roxie with a huge smile on her face sighed.

"Mmm that was good. I missed that" she said looking at Yang and Skye "That felt good"

"Good to be back then?" asked Skye

"So so good. I think we should celebrate and go to Joes"

"Alright I'm in" replied Skye

"Yang?"

Yang looked stunned by the invite "You want me to come for a drink with you?"

"It's the least I can do for your help in there"

"I didn't do anything"

"Yang if you don't want to come just say no modesty doesn't suit you"

"No, no I'd love to come"

"Ok well I'll meet you there"

A Little While Later

Roxie arrived at Dr Wyatt's door and knocked. The door opened and Dr Wyatt appeared.

"Dr Leoni"

"Are you busy?"

"No"

"I just came to thank you. I know I was out of order this morning but I just needed to get back in the OR and I did. I have just scrubbed out of a double valve replacement and I can't remember the last time I felt this happy. So thank you"

"You're welcome"

"Well I have to go I'm going to celebrate my return to the OR"

"Enjoy yourself"

Roxie walked away from Dr Wyatt and made her way over to the elevator.

LATER - AT JOES BAR

Roxie walked into Joe's and spotted Skye and Yang at the bar she smiled and made her way over to them. Mark sat with Derek and watched her approach the bar.

"She looks happy" said Mark

"She's got something back that she lost"

Mark looked at Derek and gave a small smirk as he looked back at Roxie and saw Owen arrive along with Chan and kiss Roxie.

THE NEXT DAY

Chan watched as his support group left the room and he began to clear up when he was joined by Skye.

"Hey babe" she said kissing him on the cheek

"Hi"

"How are things going?"

"Pretty good"

"See I knew you'd get into it"

"Yeah" he replied a little distant

"Are you ok?"

Chan looked at Roxie and sat down beside her on the chairs. "The chiefs looking for a new head of OB"

"What happened to Dr Stanley?"

"Better offer"

"Oh so what's the problem? That you want the job? That you don't want to have to answer to someone else? What?"

"I'm like Roxie I'm missing it. I'm enjoying this helping these guys and it's helping me too but I'm a surgeon not a counsellor and I miss it. I do want the job but that's not what's bothering me, I'm scared I'm never going to get there"

"You'll be back there sooner than you know it"

"I'm never going to be the head of OB though"

"You don't know for sure"

"It's a probability though"

"Probably isn't definitely, you're a good doctor and you're problems occurred when you were a patient. We've covered this before Chan"

"Yeah I know"

"Go talk to the chief"

"No"

"Chan just go!"

"I have to sort this place"

"I'll do that you go and talk to the chief"

Chan smiled and kissed Skye before leaving the room and Skye began to clean up the room.

LATER DOWN IN THE LOBBY

Roxie stood in the lobby putting some things in her bag getting ready to make her way out of the hospital for the day. As she struggled to get the papers in she dropped some onto the floor as she went down to retrieve them she saw Mark reach out for them. They both stood up and Mark handed her the papers.

"Thanks"

"No problem"

The duo stood in uncomfortable silence for a lingering moment and smiled as they realised this uncomfortable feeling was new to them as they'd meshed perfectly since the day they met.

"So do you have plans tonight?" asked Roxie making small talk

"Drinks with Derek at Joes"

"Same old hah?"

"Yeah" he smiled "You?"

Just then Hunt arrived and kissed Roxie on the cheek as she looked at Mark. Mark nodded as he suddenly realised what her plans were.

"Have a nice night" said Mark walking away

"You ready?" asked Owen

"Yeah" she said picking up her bag and leaving with Owen

LATER AT ROXIES APARTMENT

Roxie walked over to the sink and poured away a bottle of beer and then blew out the candles she'd lit. Just then the door opened and Mark stumbled in with a woman attached to his lips. He then caught a glimpse of Roxie and pulled away.

"Err my rooms the second on the right" he said sending off his company

"I thought you and Hunt…"

"He got paged back to the hospital"

"I'm sorry"

Roxie shook her head "One of us has to go"

"What?"

"We can't carry on doing this. I can't keep bringing Owen back here while you're here and you can't keep bringing these women in. We're not in that place where we can be happy for each other. This is just too weird"

"So who goes?" asked Mark

"Tonight me because I can't stay and listen to you and her"

"This is crap! You didn't care when you were bringing Hunt into our bed"

"You weren't in the next room!"

"It was still our bed!" he screamed angrily "This is only bothering you now because I'm bringing all these women in here"

"That's exactly what it is. You left! You ended it! I never wanted it to end! I was moving on with Owen then you came back and you started bringing all these women around and each of them hit like a knife in the heart. You ended it and then I moved on and you came back to make sure I didn't. What I don't get Mark is that you said you didn't want to be with me yet you don't want me to be with anybody else. If we're over, that's it we're over you can't keep pulling me back into your life when it's good for you. You have to let me go"

Just then Mark's guest appeared from around the corner and began to walk across the room

"I'm going to leave you guys to it"

"No don't go" said Mark

"This is too weird for me" she said opening the door and leaving

Mark exhaled loudly and collapsed into the couch and threw his head back.

"I'm tired of this" he looked over at Roxie his eyes solemn and defeated "I'm tired of trying to hurt you and I'm tired of hating you"

Roxie sat down next to him on the couch "So now what?" she asked looking over at Mark

"I'll leave" exclaimed Mark

"What? No don't please don't go"

"You just said…"

"I know but I don't want you to go. I don't want you bringing other women into the apartment either"

"We can't live like that Roxie and you know it"

"I just want things to go back to the way they were"

"You're with Owen"

"If I weren't?"

"It's not an option"

"I got with him because he was the only person in the whole hospital Skye included that wasn't judging me. He's a really nice guy, he's sweet and caring and so protective of me it's nice having someone care for me like he does. I'm sure he has bad qualities too but I haven't seen them yet and still all these good things about it there's still one major flaw with him"

"Which is?"

Roxie rested her head back on the couch and looked at Mark with a gentle sigh "He's not you. They'll never be another you"

Mark looked at Roxie for a moment and then reached out for her hand their fingers became entangled in each others. Mark then moved in and kissed Roxie softly on the lips. They both opened their eyes and looked at each other before continuing with their embrace.


	42. Chapter 42

AT THE HOSPITAL

The door flung open and an enraged Hunt walked into the on call room. He kicked the bed and knocked the lamp off the table. Yang followed him in and closed the door.

"You did everything you could"

"No if I'd done everything I could he'd be alive"

"You can't help the complications they're unforeseeable"

"I should have seen them"

"You're putting way too much pressure on yourself. You did your best in fact you did better than your best"

Owen stood and looked at Yang who was trying to comfort him and he suddenly pushed Yang back against the wall and kissed her intensely. They broke the kiss and looked at each other and Yang knowing he was with Roxie couldn't stop herself from kissing him again this time the kiss enveloped into a heated embrace Hunt gripped at her shirt and guided it off throwing it carelessly to the floor. As Hunt took off his clothes Yang reached and locked the door to give them the privacy they needed and they continued with their embrace.

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie laid awake in hers and Marks bed next to the man she loved after spending a breathtaking night together. Although she wanted nothing more than to roll over and kiss him she couldn't help but feel bad for Owen. She slowly moved the covers and sat on the edge of the bed she looked back over at Mark who was sleeping. She stood up slowly and began to get ready. She pulled on her shirt as she made her way to the door.

"Just going to slope out like it didn't happen?"

"I just didn't want to wake you"

Mark sat up "So where you going?"

"I have to meet Skye"

"And you're just not going to talk to me about last night?"

"Mark I have to go and meet Skye I don't have time for this right now but I'll come to the hospital later and find you. I'm sorry"

Roxie walked out of the bedroom and left Mark alone in their bed.

LATER

Skye is sat by herself in a bridal shop being shown a variety of dresses that she wouldn't be seen dead in all the while getting more angry as her friend and sister failed to turn up.

"This is a very elegant and popular dress"

"It looks like a meringue" said Roxie entering the room

"Thank you" said Skye the shop assistant left and Roxie sat down

"I'm late I know, I'm sorry"

Skye noticed that Roxie looked troubled.

"Are you ok?"

Roxie needed to tell someone about her night with Mark but this was the day her friend was going to pick her wedding dress and it was inappropriate.

"Yeah everything's fine"

"You're lying"

"Skye drop it you're picking your wedding dress today this isn't a time for my problems"

"Sorry I'm late" said Ryan as she entered the room trying to catch her breath.

The shop assistant walked into the room with a dress. "Oh God no take that back I have a rail ready, Ryan McKenzie"

"Oh yes I'll get it for you"

"A rail?"

"I came and pre-approved the dresses"

"Wow" responded Skye

"Did you want to sit here all day going through the frilly and hideous dresses?"

"I've already seen them thanks" said Skye having a jab at her tardy friend and sister

LATER

Skye walked out of the changing room in a dress and waited for a reply from a very distant Roxie.

"Well?"

Roxie looked up and smiled "You look gorgeous"

"Could you say that with less enthusiasm?"

Roxie exhaled "I'm sorry Skye you really do look amazing"

Skye sat down next Roxie "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" lied Roxie not wanting to ruin her friends wedding preparations

"Do you want a big meringue dress with a satin bow on your ass? Tell me"

Roxie smiled at her friend "Do you remember the days when we'd each reveal something and what the other had done would make you feel better about what you'd done?"

"Yeah"

"When did you stop doing stupid things?"

"What stupid thing did you do?"

"I slept with Mark"

"What? When?"

"Last night he brought a girl home and we ended up fighting and she left and he just collapsed defeated and said he was tired of trying to hurt me and trying to hate me then we kissed and…you know how this goes"

"I thought this is what you wanted?"

"I do, I do want this but now I have to make a decision, a guy who regardless of how many attempts we make I can't have a functional relationship with or a guy who has been nothing but kind and caring and supportive of me"

"When you say it like that it seems like a no brainer. But does Owen make you feel the same way Mark does?"

"Infuriated? No he doesn't"

"Roxanne"

Roxie looked at her friend and knew what she was saying was right and she had to follow her heart and her heart was screaming out for Mark.

"I hate him" Skye giggled "But I love him"

"Come on lets get you a bad dress"

The girls then stood up and looked for a hideous dress for Roxie.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie walked into the ER and made a beeline for Owen as Yang looked on.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked standing behind Owen

Owen looked over his shoulder at her and nodded "Yeah"

They made their way into an empty room and Roxie prepared herself to break things off with Hunt.

"Ok here's the deal…"

"I slept with Yang last night" Hunt blurted out

Roxie stared at Hunt for a moment taking in the revelation and she then burst into laughter. Hunt stared at her as she laughed hysterically she then tried to regain her composure.

"Roxie what's so funny?"

Roxie laughed again and stopped herself "I slept with Mark last night" she continued laughing "I'm so sorry" she said through chuckles "I came here to breaks things off with you. I want you to know I didn't get with you to fill a void. You were different and you didn't judge and for the first time in a long time you made me feel free from everything from Faith, Mark, the hospital it was nice and it was amazing but I can't keep pretending I'm over Mark because I'm not but you have to know you weren't a proxy, I swear" she said stepping forward and stroking his cheek with a smile on her face

"It was amazing" replied Hunt with a smile

"Thank you" said Roxie kissing him on the lips and hugging him tight "This isn't going to change things right? You're still going to be my friend?"

"You're the only person in the whole hospital that I actually like"

"Yang will be happy to hear that" Hunt laughed

OUTSIDE IN THE ER

Mark stared into the room where Roxie and Owen stood in an embrace he then turned and left the ER.

LATER AT THE APARTMENT

Roxie opened the door and walked inside the tranquil apartment by herself hoping Mark would be there.

"Mark" she called getting no reply

She skipped through her mail and threw it down on the table and she was then distracted by a giggling she followed the sound to Mark's room. Roxie stood furiously on the other side of the door humiliated that she thought her and Mark had turned a corner. She knocked on the door and waited impatiently for Mark to answer the door opened and Roxie connected with a huge right hook.

"You're an ass!" screamed Roxie storming off as the hook sent Mark teetering into the room exposing the girl on the bed. Mark followed Roxie back out into the living area.

"What is wrong with you?"

"You! You're what's wrong! Is making my life hell fun for you?"

"I'm bleeding" he said checking his nose

"You're lucky you're still breathing. What was last night about?"

"You tell me! I thought we were getting somewhere then on your day off you drop into the hospital to say hi to Hunt"

"What?"

"I saw you and him together in the room"

"Doing what? What did you see?"

"You were all over him"

"Hugging him. I was hugging him"

"Yeah and there was…"

"Nothing else, you really expect us to move on and try again when you see an innocent hug and make an assumption then you go out and pick up the first piece of ass you can to get back at me. Does this sound healthy to you?"

"I thought you were staying with him"

"I was breaking up with him Mark because I wanted you"

"Roxie I'm sorry"

"Me too Mark, I wanted us to work"

"We still can"

"I'm going to leave" said Marks date leaving the apartment

"We can't Mark all we do is hurt each other"

"Through acts of love and fear"

"If it were meant to be we wouldn't be hurting each other whether acts of love or fear. We wouldn't do it"

"Don't throw this away Rox"

"What do you suggest?" she asked

"A clean slate, from this moment on erase everything"

"We can't" she said with tears in her eyes. Mark stepped in and put his forehead to hers "We can't forget it"

"We can"

"I can't pretend Faith didn't happen and to remember that we have to remember that she was Derek's and then you remember pain and then the resentment kicks in"

"No"

"Mark we can't do this, if it were meant to be it wouldn't be this hard. Tomorrow I'll hand in my resignation and head back to New York"

"No"

"We can't get past this"

"Then we won't we'll learn from it, we'll just keep going and eventually it will all become something long forgotten in the past"

"Mark…"

"Accept for Faith but we can do this. I made a childish mistake today but we can do this. Roxie please don't give up on us because I don't want anyone else and I know you only want me"

Roxie smiled at Mark and could see the sincerity in his eyes and that he truly did mean every word he was saying but she didn't know if she could do it all over again and risk it.

"Rox" he said hopefully waiting for her reply

"If either of us breaks the others heart again we take it as a sign from God and I leave no questions asked"

"It won't happen"

"I hope that's true"

Mark kissed Roxie softly on the lips as they broke the kiss he whispered between them "I didn't sleep with her, I couldn't do it" Mark then lifted Roxie in his arms and carried her to the bedroom

AT THE HOSPITAL

Skye walked out of the hospital to find Chan sat on a bench she approached him and sat down.

"Here you are. What are you doing sitting out here?"

"Nothing. Did you get a dress?"

"Yeah"

"Good I'm glad"

Skye knew he wasn't telling her something "What is wrong? And don't tell me nothing"

"I got my job back"

"That's great" said an ecstatic Skye realising Chan wasn't so excited "Isn't it?"

"I'm not the head of OB anymore he said I couldn't walk back into that job because the board had to be completely happy and positive I was clean"

"You expected this though"

"Three years"

"What?"

"The chief remembers another guy was on the boards wellness program for three years"

"Each case of addiction is different"

"He was self administering Pethedine"

"Huge difference right there he chose to start abusing you didn't you got addicted to a very addictive drug whilst taking it to ease the pain after recovering from a hellish ordeal where your body was mangled. You didn't choose to take that first vicodin"

"I know"

"They'll take all of this into account you watch within the year you're going to be head of OB again"

"I hope so"

"So what are the conditions?"

"Drug free, monitored with mandatory drug testing, I'm not allowed to handle drugs just prescribe them, I have a shadow, I have to continue with therapy, and my support group"

"How do you feel about all that?"

"I have my job back"

"That's a good thing" smiled Skye kissing him sweetly on the lips "Let's go home"

Skye stood up and took Chan's hand and they walked away from the hospital to make their way home.

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie laid awake in the bed with Marks masculine arms surrounding her and she felt his breath on her neck as he exhaled and moved in even closer to her holding her tighter.

"Morning" she said letting him know she was awake

"Morning" he said leaning over and kissing her cheek

"I have to go to work" said Roxie

"Ok" he replied letting go and rolling onto his back letting her out of the bed before she could walk away he grabbed her wrist "We're ok right?"

"Yeah we're great I just have to go to work" she smiled leaning in and kissing him

"Ok"

"You're in this afternoon right?"

"Yeah" he replied as she walked into the bathroom

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Mark arrived at the hospital and walked into the locker room where he found Derek sat on the bench. He put his things away and changed into his scrubs while Derek sat in silence watching him.

"Why are you so happy?" asked Derek

"Me and Roxie are back together"

"Congratulations"

"Thanks" he said taking a box out of his bag

"What's that?"

"I broke a picture of me and Rox when I was angry and I got it reframed for her"

"It's nice to see you so happy again"

"Yeah it's nice to be this happy again anyway I'm going to find her and give her this"

A Little While Later

Mark was stood at the nurses station asking if they'd seen Roxie when they said no he turned to find someone who may know and spotted the chief walking his way.

"Chief have you seen Roxie?"

"Yes she came in first thing to see me"

"Do you know where she is?"

"She's probably at the airport"

"What?"

"She handed in her resignation this morning. She didn't tell you?"

"No she didn't" said Mark walking away furiously

"Sloan" called the chief as he watched him walk away angrily after the chief slipped up revealing Roxie's sudden departure

A Few Moments Later

Mark spotted Skye and walked into the lounge.

"Did she tell you she was leaving?"

"No the first I knew was when the chief gave me my letter"

"You're letter?"

"Apologising for leaving and for not being at the wedding"

"She left you a letter?"

"She didn't leave you one?" she asked sympathetically

"No she didn't I obviously didn't mean that much to her"

Mark stormed out of the room and Skye exhaled asking herself why Roxie did what she did

LATER

Mark arrived back at the apartment and walked into the bedroom and opened the closet to find all her clothes still there. He then walked out of the bedroom and spotted a note on the door. He walked over to the door and took the note he unfolded it and read.

_Mark,_

_I'm sorry!_

_Love Roxie xxx_

Mark threw the picture of him and Roxie he'd just had reframed across the room it smashed as it hit the wall he then stormed out of the apartment clutching the note tightly in his hand.

AT THE AIRPORT

This is the final call for Delta Air Lines 129 non stop flight to New York boarding at gate 7.

Roxie looked at her ticket and then at the gate that was empty as the passengers waited on the plane. She stood up and looked at the exit wondering which door to go through. She then sighed and walked over to the gate and handed her boarding pass and made her way to the plane.

The gate then closed behind her.


	43. Chapter 43

AT JOES BAR

Mark sat at the bar drinking scotch as Joe watched on.

"So you're not working today?" asked Joe

"No" said Mark taking another sip

"Should you be?"

"Joe are you my woman?" he snarled looking at Joe

"No"

"My boss?"

"No"

"Then keep your nose out of my business and keep pouring the drinks" snapped Mark

"Hi can I get a coffee" said a beautiful brunette sitting down at the bar next to Mark.

"Want to make that an Irish coffee and join me for drink?"

"Or you could stop drinking and join me for a coffee" replied the girl with a grin

Mark smiled and moved over to the seat next to the brunette as Joe watched on.

"Make that two coffees Joe" said Mark smiling at the brunette as Joe walked away to make the coffees

AT THE HOSPITAL

Derek and the chief were walking through the corridor frantically looking for Mark.

"Where is he?" asked the chief

"She just left?" asked Derek in disbelief about Roxie's departure

"She came to me this morning with her resignation I don't know anything else about this all I know now is my head of plastics has gone missing"

"He's at Joes" exclaimed Skye

"What?" they both asked simultaneously stopping and looking back at Skye.

"I called Joe just on the off chance and he's there, drunk"

"What do we do?"

"He's in no state to operate. Cancel his surgeries and someone go check on him" ordered the chief walking away muttering to himself

AT JOES BAR

Mark began to sip at his coffee as he hit on the brunette before him.

"So girl from the bar…"

"Jasmine" she said cutting him off

"What?" asked Mark a little stunned

"That's my name, Jasmine" Mark stood up and looked down at the woman. "Is everything ok?"

**Reminiscent Scene**

"_Our kid needs a strong name"_

"_Jasmine?"_

"_Our kids a stripper?"_

"_You can't have five Vito's you have to pick one"_

"_Out of those five disasters I'd rather have the stripper"_

"_Jasmine isn't a stripper name"_

"_Trust me it's a stripper name…and she was quite a stripper"_

_Roxie hit Mark and he smiled_

"_She's fighting but she needs some help, some support from her Mom. Jasmine needs you"_

"_No"_

"_Sorry?"_

"_Her name isn't Jasmine"_

"_That's what you chose"_

"_No that's what we chose for our baby. She isn't our baby she isn't Jasmine"_

**PRESENT TIME**

Mark snapped out of his daze and looked back at the woman "I have to go" he said immediately leaving the bar

AT THE HOSPITAL

Karev walked out of a patients room giving orders to the interns and he caught a glimpse of Ryan who was stood waiting for him. The interns went in different directions and Karev approached Ryan with a big smile on his face.

"You better hope I don't get a job here when I become a nurse because it will be very difficult to keep my hands off you"

"Is that why you're here? To seduce me?"

"I certainly intend on visiting the on call room but it's more of a celebration than a seduction"

"A celebration?"

"They accepted our offer, we have a house"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah they settled for three hundred thousand off the asking so not a bad result hah?"

"No not all" he said wrapping his arms around her waist "So we have our own house?"

"Yep"

"On call room?" asked Karev

"Lets go"

The excited couple then walked off to the nearest on call room to celebrate their new purchase and merging.

ROOM 278

Skye stood examining a patient's ankle when the door opened and a returning Chan walked into the room followed by his shadowing intern. Chan could feel the judgemental eyes on him but he wasn't going to let them bother him as he smiled at the pregnant woman before him.

"Hi I'm Dr Tatum"

"Angela DeCesare" she said extending her hand with a smile

"So what do we have here?" asked Chan not getting a reply from the interns as they stood in awe at the returning doctor

Skye looked over at the unusually silent bunch and shook her head as they stared at Chan who could feel their judgement radiating "Winstanley present" ordered Skye still examining the ankle

"Angela DeCesare, 28, presented with a swollen right ankle Miss DeCesare claims that she didn't fall and that the ankle just became spontaneously swollen. Dr McKenzie has called for you for an OB consult to see if there has been any abdominal trauma and to check on the babies status"

"Angela can I ask how far along you are?" he asked the extremely large pregnant woman

"I'm twenty three weeks"

"Six months? You're huge" blurted out an intern

"Hannaby!" said Skye sternly

"I'm sorry" said the intern immediately

"It's ok I am huge, like a house but it's what to expect when carrying six children"

"Six?" asked Skye looking up at the expectant mother

"You're having sextuplets?" asked Chan

"I prefer to say six children, I'm a twin you see and it's not nice being known as 'a twin' because I'm an individual and I don't want my six children being labelled as 'the sextuplets' because they're all individuals too"

"That's respectable, well if it's ok with you I'm going to do an ultrasound to check on the six children and make sure they're not in any distress"

"As I've said doctor there was no trauma my babies are fine"

"Angela your ankle isn't fine it's severely swollen"

"I'm pregnant everything's swollen"

Chan sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at Angela "Angela I'm an obstetrician, a damn good one and I have seen hundreds of pregnant women all shapes, all sizes, all different complaints and I have never seen a pregnant woman so severely swollen"

"How many women have you met carrying six children?"

"You're the first but I have met a woman carrying five and her ankle wasn't as thick as my thigh. For some reason your ankle is swollen and this reason may be causing undue stress to your children so I am just doing an ultrasound to make sure that they're all fine. I wouldn't be doing my job right if I didn't check on them"

Angela sighed and knew it was the right decision and nodded her head and laid back patiently.

"Can you go get me the ultrasound?" he asked an intern who left immediately. Chan approached Skye "What have you got?"

"She's telling the truth there's no trauma here from what I can tell it's water retention"

"That's not right, that ankle is seriously screwed up. This is more than pregnancy oedema"

Skye stood up and faced Chan "She's carrying six babies and she's six months pregnant she's probably on strict bed rest which would explain the major swelling. I can drain the ankle but unfortunately for her this is a discomfort of pregnancy"

"Dr Tatum" said the returning intern with the ultrasound

Chan walked around the bed and began the ultrasound as Skye prepared to drain the ankle.

"Angela it's seems your ankle is retaining a vast amount of water so I'm going to drain it"

"Is that necessary?"

"Yes it is"

"Angela can I ask who is your obstetrician?" asked Chan

"Dr Reid at Mercy West"

"Why were you brought into Seattle Grace if Dr Reid is your OB?"

"Because I live closer to Seattle Grace"

"Then wouldn't it make sense to have an OB here?"

"I had my fertility treatment with Dr Reid so she's kind of invested in this pregnancy"

"Well now that you're here, so am I"

"Oh I see you want to be the hot shot doctor who delivers my six children? Get yourself in a medical journal?"

"No ma'am it's not that at all. You're at twenty three weeks and at this point you're crossing an important threshold as multiples reach viability at this stage, gestation for sextuplets has been anything from twenty two weeks. Sextuplets carry a lot more risk. Primary among them are premature labour, hypertension, bleeding, anaemia and gestational diabetes. The babies also are at greater risk for birth defects"

"I'm aware of all of this Dr Tatum and myself and Dr Reid have a plan"

"Does she have you on bed rest?"

"No but I'm not exactly active carrying six children is exhausting and with a swollen ankle also"

"You should be on strict bed rest, in fact I would highly recommend hospitalisation at this point"

"Dr Tatum is there something wrong with my babies?"

"No all six heart beats are strong. Babies A, B and C, weigh in at about one pound, six ounces. Baby D is the leader at one pound, seven ounces, with babies E and F each weighing one pound, five ounces. All weights are normal for twenty three weeks of gestation"

"So the children are healthy and I'm healthy so why do I need to be hospitalised other than Seattle Grace wanting to be the hospital that delivers them? Look Dr Tatum I am completely capable of looking after myself and the children. Myself and Dr Reid have a system and it's working great for us. I'm on a host of medicines. Progesterone shots to keep my hormone levels steady. Folic acid to keep the babies healthy. Prevacid to control my heartburn. Blood thinner shots to head off clots. I'm covered"

"You're mobility is limited now and the further along in this pregnancy the more limited your mobility is going to become and if God forbid you should go into premature labour at home and can't get any help because you can't move for the pain, the excessive water retention that should have been dealt with by Dr Reid the last time she saw you which with this certain pregnancy and your gestation period should be weekly meaning your ankle went overlooked at the last consult or your ankle ballooned suddenly which would be cause for concern. I am not looking for credit for delivering your children, the hospital is not looking for credit, except for the people in this room nobody in the hospital knows about your pregnancy. I am just doing my job which at this moment in time is to look after you and your six children and I believe hospitalisation is the best solution. Maybe if you weren't holding so much water I wouldn't feel so sceptical about letting you home but that ankle shouldn't have been that size and I can't risk sending you home for that to happen again. Now I don't care if you stay here or get a transfer to Mercy West but I highly recommend staying in a hospital for the rest of this pregnancy"

"I can stand up long enough to shower, go to the bathroom, and fix a quick meal. What else do I need?"

"Around the clock monitoring for your health, your children's health's. I can't force you to stay in the hospital, I can't even force you to go to Mercy West but I can stand here and say that if you don't you're being careless and putting your children at unnecessary risk"

Suddenly Angela began to struggle with her breathing and started to hyperventilate.

"What happened?" asked Skye moving to the top of the bed

"I don't know Angela you need to control your breathing, in through the nose out through the mouth"

"She needs the mask" said Skye fitting an oxygen mask and demonstrating the correct breathing technique

Angela's breathing became calmer and her blood pressure and heart rate both returned to normal.

"What happened?" asked Chan

"Just another wonderful side effect of pregnancy"

"An anxiety attack?" asked Chan

"Call it what you like"

"Another reason you should be in the hospital. During pregnancy your blood pressure is elevated if you keep having attacks like that it elevates your blood pressure even more this can lead to hypertension which can cause the children distress. Angela you need to stay here"

"Dr Tatum can I speak with you?" said Skye walking out of the room followed by Chan

"If you're going to tell me I'm being too harsh on her then don't she's being stubborn…"

"Chan that's not it…"

Chan stopped talking and looked at Skye "What then?"

"Think about it, major water retention, shortness of breath, fatigue"

"Yeah?"

"Signs of congestive heart failure along with nausea, abdominal pain, increased urination, insomnia all symptoms that could be missed and merely passed off as part of her pregnancy"

"Caused by myocarditis. Jesus who is this OB she's got?"

A Little While Later

Skye, Chan and Hahn walked into the room where Angela was sat growing evermore impatient.

"Another doctor?" asked Angela

"Angela my name is Dr Hahn I'm a cardiothoracic surgeon"

"Cardio? Isn't that the heart?"

"Yes that's right"

"Why have I got a heart doctor?"

"Angela the water retention in your right ankle was excessive more than it possibly should be for just mere pregnancy swelling whether carrying six children or not. There is also sufficient water retention in your left ankle and in both legs" said Skye

"I'm six months pregnant with six babies I'm entitled to water retention"

"Yes you are but this is too excessive to pass off as pregnancy swelling and that combined with your shortness of breath earlier and the fatigue you mentioned it could be something more serious than water retention" replied Skye

"Something to do with my heart?"

"I would like to do some tests to rule things out" said Hahn

"Such as?"

Hahn hesitated not wanting to panic the heavily pregnant mother to be "Congestive heart failure as a cause of myocarditis which is inflammation of the heart muscle which can be brought on by pregnancy"

"If I have congestive heart failure?" Doctor Hahn nodded confirming her recollection "If I have this, what will happen to my babies?"

"I think we should just take this one step at a time and get the tests done"

"No! I want to know what will happen to my babies" snapped Angela

"All cases are different and 'if' you do have congestive heart failure it will all be dependant on your particular case but I promise you whatever the prognosis I will look after you and your babies"

"How did they miss this?" asked Angela referring to her OB at Mercy West looking in Chan's direction

"The symptoms for myocarditis are in par with symptoms of pregnancy the truth is if you hadn't had that attack earlier we may have missed it too. This is why it's crucial you tell the doctors everything even if you think it's mediocre because it could be vital information" replied Chan

"Ok lets do the tests and Dr Tatum I would like you to take over from Dr Reid"

"Ok lets get an EKG, chest x-ray and for assurance lets hook up a fetal monitor. Dr Tatum you'll need to monitor this"

"Of course"

Chan took Angela's hand assuring her that everything would be fine.

IN NEW YORK

A beautiful blonde stood in the kitchen chopping carrots when she heard a knock at her door. She placed the carrots in a bowl and walked into another room and handed the carrots to twin boys sat at a children's table. She kissed the children and proceeded to the door she opened it see a man stood in front of her.

"Hi can I help you?" she said not recognising the man

"I'm Mark" a look of recognition came apparent on her face "So she told you about me?"

"Yeah she did"

"Is she in?"

"No she's not"

"Don't lie to me I know you're Jess and this is the forwarding address she gave at the hospital"

"She isn't here; I swear it's just me and my boys"

"Ok" he said believing her but knowing she was hiding something "Can you tell her to call me? I've been calling her and she won't pick up just tell her…tell her I need to talk to her please"

"I will"

"Thank you" he said a little defeated in his search for Roxie he walked away from the door and Jess closed it behind him.

She walked across the room to the telephone and dialled a number.

"Hey it's me, he just turned up here. How did you know he would?...

…He said you're not answering his calls…

…I don't know he looks pretty determined to me why else would he come all this way…

…He asked me to tell you to call him. It won't hurt to hear him out Rox. Ok ok you're decision…

…No of course not as far as he's concerned you're staying with me I just hope he's not going to stalk you because that might freak the kids out…

…I'm not going to Jesus Roxie. I promise. I don't even know what your problem is a cute, successful man wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he's the devils spawn….Rox? Roxie? Oh" Jess then hung up on her sister and turned to return to the boys but was startled to find Mark stood in the doorway staring at her.

"Where is she Jess? I need to see her"

Jess stared at Mark wondering how she was going to stop this man from hassling her without breaking her promise to her sister about giving up her actual location.


	44. Chapter 44

IN NEW YORK - AT JESS' HOME

Jess and Mark stood staring at each other and then Mark stepped inside and closed the door.

"She made me promise" said Jess

"Please Jess I need to see her. I can't just let her leave"

"My sisters pretty stubborn"

"I know, and I know this isn't going to be easy but trying to live my life without her will be harder still"

"She just needs time"

"I know and I'm going to give her time but I need to speak with her and let her know that I'll wait for her no matter how long it takes. That's it, that's all I'm going to say to her. I'm not here to make trouble, I promise"

"She's in unfamiliar territory she doesn't do relationships"

"She was married?"

"He was a rebound guy, something bad happened and he was the rebound guy. You you're something, something she's not allowed herself to have, something she's distanced herself from for a long time. She's probably made some mistakes with some guys am I right?"

"Yeah" replied Mark inquisitively

"She's just working through things, she doesn't stop and deal with them"

"I know that too. I just need to speak with her for two minutes then I'll leave and go back to Seattle. Jess if you think what she's doing is unhealthy then let me do this, let me speak to her and then she can learn to deal with it and not runaway"

Jess stood for a moment and pondered her options she then sighed and relented taking a notepad and jotting down the address she walked over to Mark and handed him the piece of paper.

"She's going to be really angry with me but…"

"Thank you"

Mark turned and opened the door.

"Don't hurt her" Mark turned back to Jess "Don't hurt her she's been through so many bad times and not enough good ones. Please don't hurt her"

"I won't"

Mark then walked away and Jess closed the door behind him wondering to herself if she'd made the right decision in giving him the address.

BACK IN SEATTLE

Angela sat dumbfounded as Hahn, Chan and Skye surrounded her bed.

"I have congestive heart failure?" she asked for clarification

"Yes"

"So what happens now?"

"We're hoping that this is due to the myocarditis which was most likely brought on by your pregnancy this causing the peripartum cardiomyopathy…"

"Wait. Wait the what?"

"Peripartum cardiomyopathy it's a medical term for weakened heart, your heart right now is enlarged and because we believe at this point in time that it's all pregnancy related until you give birth we're going to control your CHF with medication and look at things again afterwards"

"So you're saying when my pregnancy is over I'll be healthy again?"

"No what I'm saying is the myocarditis was most likely brought on by your pregnancy and after we treat it and after your pregnancy is over you may make a full recovery which will then alleviate your CHF"

"So you're 'hoping' that when my pregnancy is over I'll be healthy again?"

"Yes that is the hope but I cannot stand here and tell you this is a fact"

"And my babies? How will this affect them?"

"Dr Tatum…" said Hahn stepping aside

"Any pressure on your body is pressure on the babies so our aim is to monitor you continuously until you give birth to make sure you're ok. And of course continuous monitoring of the babies throughout but if you're ok then the babies should be too"

"Ok so no surgery?"

"At this point? No but that doesn't mean there won't be a surgery. If you were to deteriorate or you weren't responding the way we wanted you to, to the medications then other methods would be explored such as a use of an aortic counterpulsation balloon, immunosuppressive therapy which are medicines used to treat cancer or prevent rejection of a transplanted organ and worse case scenario a heart transplant"

"Thank you Dr Hahn" said Chan seeing the fear in his patients eyes

"She needs to be prepared"

"She needs to remain calm for hers and her babies healths"

Dr Hahn looked back a petrified Angela

"Angela most women who go through this are treated with the medications, lifestyle changes and monitoring. Only a very small fraction of those women require surgical assistance. The medications and monitoring are usually all it takes because once the pregnancy is over things tend to work themselves out"

"Really?"

"Yes I'm just sorry I cannot tell you that you will be fine for a fact. But that information I gave you just then, that was a fact. I hope that helps you but for now I'm going to start you on digitalis to strengthen the heart's pumping ability, diuretics to remove excess fluid and a low dose beta-blocker"

The resident noted all this down on her chart and Dr Hahn left the room. Angela sat silent as the doctors stood by.

"Angela, we have to tell you all the possibilities, that's our job as doctors to give you all the relevant information but that's all it is information it isn't a diagnosis. We're not saying any of this is going to happen to you"

"But you can't say that it isn't"

"Is there somebody we can call for you? The father?"

"There isn't a father, he was a donor"

"These are bank babies?" blurted out an intern

"I just wanted a baby and I got tired of waiting. I just wanted a baby and now I have congestive heart failure and six babies coming who themselves have a long battle ahead of them without the added pressure of my CHF. I'm only six months pregnant and I'm already a bad mother"

"You're not a bad mother"

"If I had reduced the fetuses just by three I could have healthy triplets"

"Women with singular pregnancies have this complication too, this isn't because you're having six babies"

"Can you please just do whatever you have to do and leave me alone for a little while? I'm tired of talking about this"

"Sure Dr Stevens will be checking on the babies periodically"

Chan squeezed Angela's hand and indicated for the people to clear the room and leave Angela to take it all in.

THE NEXT DAY - IN NEW YORK

The door opened and Roxie walked out wearing a heavy coat, a scarf, a hat and gloves prepared for the cold weather hitting New York. She closed the door behind her and was stunned to the spot as she saw Mark shivering at the bottom of the stoop in just his leather jacket with his hands in his pockets his cheeks red from the cold.

"Yeah I didn't think this through I could do with a warmer outfit"

Roxie didn't respond she just stood motionless with anger growing inside towards her sister who had promised her she wouldn't give him her address.

"I stayed at a hotel last night, I thought I'd give you time to calm down after finding out I'd followed you but by the look on your face it doesn't look like I gave you long enough. Rox all I want is two minutes to talk to you"

Roxie knew Mark wasn't going to give up without a fight and knew she would have to listen to him.

"Two minutes"

"Can we go inside?" asked Mark

"No"

"Roxie…"

"Mark we're not going inside. If you have something to say to me then do it right now, right here because you have no other options"

Mark looked at Roxie wondering to himself why she was being so hostile he then relented and began "I don't know why you left like you did but I have a feeling it's to do with Faith. You think that I can't forgive and forget and that even if we try I'll never stop resenting you for it but that's not true. I can forgive and forget all the bad stuff because the good stuff is too good to throw away and I know you aren't ready, because whether you admit it or not she is on your mind. I know you may not be ready for a long time and that Faith will always be there in your thoughts and in your heart but you were right she isn't Jasmine, Jasmine is our baby and I really want to meet her or baby Tobias…" he joked with a slight grin "I'm not going to stop fighting for us and I know you're a fighter and deep down you know there's a future to fight for. This isn't a decision to be made on a stoop so I'm going to go back to Seattle and I'm going to wait, you take all the time you need because it's what we both need, time. Time to let things lie, time to let wounds heal, time to forgive and time to mend and rebuild because our foundation is solid and we just need to rebuild"

Roxie stood staring at Mark with tears in her eyes unable to reply to him as she didn't know her own thoughts.

"Bye Roxie" Mark then walked away and Roxie stood as he walked away and left

WEEKS GO BY – IN SEATTLE

Dr Wyatt was sat in her office writing up some charts when a knock came at her door she looked at her clock and gave a strange look as she wasn't expecting her next appointment for another half hour. She walked to the door and opened it shocked to see Roxie on the other side. Roxie pushed passed the doc and into the room.

"I blamed my mother. I said it was her fault but it wasn't, well not completely. She left and it hurt, after that I wouldn't let people in because I was afraid to get hurt again. I was afraid I'd get abandoned again so instead of letting people in, I ran. Like seven years after my mother left I did let someone in and he died and again I was left by someone I loved. After that I started getting defensive and sabotaging my own relationships. I married a guy who I had nothing in common with so that I didn't have to be around him but so he was there when I wanted him, then I ran all to save myself from getting hurt again. Then Mark – I was in love with Danny, the guy who died, so in love with him that when he died I felt my heart break – but this what I have with Mark this is different, this is like all that lovey dovey crap I had with Danny but intensified. So intense that when he's not with me I yearn for him – even though I know he's there in the hospital I miss him – when we're together I feel safe like nothing can hurt us – accept me – I hurt us. I fell for him instantly but instead of agreeing to a date I go and sleep with Karev – then Mark finds out and I feel bad but I knew when I slept with Karev, Mark would find out. He has the same fears 'better to scorn them than to be scorned yourself'. He felt threatened when my now ex-husband turned up and he reacted just like I would have and he slept with Hahn. Instead of being adults and just admitting our fears I retaliated although intoxicated I subconsciously retaliated by sleeping with Derek and it was foolish and hurtful and I can see that now. I mean I knew it was wrong but at that time I'd been burnt and I didn't sleep with him because he was Mark's best friend but just because he was there, they're like brother and it was hurtful. After everything though this guy that I loved so much still wanted to be with me, wanted to make a home for us, wanted to have a family with me. I knew I had to tell him about Faith, I knew it and every time I saw him I wanted to but that same fear of losing someone I love took over and I honestly believed I could get away with it I didn't have to tell him, that he'd never have to know. Then when it came out and he found out she was Derek's I wanted to break down because I knew I'd lost him, you know after finding out he still stayed and he still looked after me and made me feel safe. The day she died I walked out of the hospital and went home. I just couldn't be there in the same hospital as my dead baby and it hit like a thousand knives. I went to my bed and climbed inside the covers and I broke down. I did cry and I'm not dead inside, I heard him come into the apartment and he stayed all night and never opened the door he just sat on the other side of it, he was just there. After finding out she wasn't his baby he was still there for me, he didn't have to be but he was. He wouldn't let me in after that though – it was like he gave me a grace period or something. He said he couldn't forgive me and then Hunt. I wasn't looking for him, for anybody but I hated being alone, he was just someone, he could have been anybody, he was so sweet and caring but it didn't matter how sweet and caring he was, he wasn't Mark. When Mark found out about Hunt he moved back into the apartment and paraded these women in and out – all through anger and fear – wanting to hurt me like I had him and wanting me to be jealous, whether a test to make sure I still loved him or to know he truly was hurting me. One night a few weeks back now he caved in and admitted he wanted me back and we slept together. The next day I broke things off with Hunt and Mark caught a glimpse of this and made an assumption, later I got home and he had a woman there and it was like something clicked, like a light bulb coming on and I realised I had to let him go because as much as we love each other, we're both too afraid to let the other in and it would just be repetitive him hurting me, me hurting him just so we're not surprised when it really does happen. I told him I was leaving and going to New York and he begged and pleaded and promised and I gave in and I agreed to everything because I felt safe again and we slept together…again. The next morning I woke up and suddenly realised I did feel safe, he made me feel safe from everything accept myself and it was me that was causing all the pain to everybody so I said goodbye like I was going to see him later and I walked into the chiefs office and handed in my resignation. I caught the next flight to New York. I knew he'd follow me so I gave a false forwarding address, my sisters. He turned up and she gave him my actual address, there he was on my stoop offering me everything, offering me Mark Sloan for life, he told me to think about it, that was three weeks ago and its all I've thought about. I got on a plane – I got to the hospital – he's here and I want it – I want him, but I don't know how to let myself have it without sabotaging it – so I'm here asking you because when I walk out that door I'm going to find him and I'm going to tell him I want it all but you, you have to tell me, show me how to let it happen, how to stop being afraid and let him in completely and trust him. Please help me"

Dr Wyatt smiled as finally Roxie had a breakthrough.

LATER

Roxie stood nervously in the elevator as it ascended to the right floor. The doors opened and Roxie sighed before she walked out and turned to make her way over to the reception where she could see Derek stood. Derek looked over his shoulder and glanced at the room he then turned back to his chart and instantly turned back checking to see he wasn't seeing things. He smiled as Roxie approached.

"You're back?"

"Yeah, where is he?"

"He's doing rounds"

"I need to speak to him"

"Are you going to leave again because if you are then I don't think speaking to him is a good idea"

"I'm back Derek now I need to talk to him are you going to help me?"

Derek stared at Roxie for a moment and then turned to the receptionist.

"Can you page Dr Sloan 911 to the doctor's lounge please? Thank you" said Derek as the receptionist picked up the phone

A Little While Later

Mark walked down the corridor answering his 911 page and he opened the door to the doctor's lounge and stood motionless as he saw Roxie waiting for him.

"Hi" she said breaking the ice

Mark stepped inside and closed the door behind him "Hey"

Roxie hesitated for a moment as she prepared to speak "I'm sorry that it took so long for me to come back"

"That's ok I told you to take your time"

"We need to talk"

LATER

Derek, Skye, Chan and Hunt stood outside waiting for Mark and Roxie to exit the room eager to find out what had happened.

"She said she was staying?" Skye asked Derek

"She said she was back"

"Well she wouldn't have come back if she wasn't going to stay and make things work with him right?" asked Skye again

"You know her better than we do" replied Chan

The door opened and Roxie and Mark walked out smiling and holding hands. Mark turned to face Roxie and kissed her softly before pulling away reluctantly and smiling at the woman he loved.

"I have to go and finish rounds but I'll meet you later for lunch ok?"

"Ok"

"Good luck with the chief" he said before kissing Roxie and walking away

Roxie saw her friends huddled together knowing they were dying to know. She walked over to them and Skye hugged her friend.

"I'm so happy you're back" said Skye

"So are you two ok now?" asked Derek

"We talked things through and agreed to take it slowly but we're still back together and we're trying"

"That's good" said Derek with a smile "Well I have to go it's great to have you back" Derek then walked away

"I need to get back to the ER I just wanted to see if it was all true" smiled Hunt kissing Roxie on the cheek and leaving

"So you're definitely back? You're not leaving again?" asked Skye

"I can't stay away from him"

"What are you going to do about your job?" asked Chan

"I'm going to ask the chief for my job back"

"Good luck and I'll see you later ok?" said Skye leaving

"Ok"

Roxie and Chan stood alone and stared at each other.

"I'm sick of my shadows" revealed Chan

"I'm scared I'm going to screw this up" revealed Roxie

"It's good to have you back" he said hugging Roxie

"Thanks" she said pulling away and sighing "I better go see the chief"

"Good luck babe I'll see you later"

Roxie walked away and made her way to the chiefs office. Roxie arrived at the chiefs office and knocked on the door. She walked in as she heard the chief invite her and approached gingerly not sure how the chief would react to her return.

"The rumours are true then?"

"Yeah"

"And let me guess you're here to get your job back?"

"If it's still here"

"How can I trust you? How do I know you're not going to up and leave again?"

"I thought leaving was the only way to move on but it wasn't and I know that now"

"So what is the way to move on?" asked the chief

"Acceptance, accepting the fact that neither me nor Mark are perfect, definitely not perfect together but still meant to be. Accepting the fact that my first child has died but taking solace in the fact that she didn't have to suffer for a long time. And finally Mark accepting the fact that Faith can't be forgotten and still wanting to be with me"

"So you and Sloan are back together?"

"We're going to try that's all I can ask of him after what I've put him through"

"Well if you're going to be making a go at it with Sloan then you're going to need a job"

"Really?"

"Yeah just don't make me sorry I gave you your job back and be thankful that I didn't find a new head of General Surgery"

"Thank you"

"You can start by finding Tatum he has a unique case that you could help with"

"Ok" smiled Roxie as she walked out of the chiefs office happy to be back but nervous about what may happen as she tries to reconcile with Mark.


	45. Chapter 45

LATER

Roxie opened the door and Chan smiled and turned to Angela the expectant mother.

"Angela this is Dr Leoni she's the head of general surgery"

"Nice to meet you"

"Can someone bring Dr Leoni up to speed with the case?"

"Sextuplets?" asked Roxie reading the chart for herself

"Angela would prefer we don't call them sextuplets and refer to them as the six children" said an intern

Roxie looked at Angela and smiled "Ok no problem, this says you were diagnosed with CHF?"

"Yeah the heart doctor has spoken to me already"

"Ok" replied Roxie reading the chart she then looked at Chan who saw her from the corner of his eye.

"Angela I'm just going to get the ultrasound machine so Dr Leoni can check on you"

Chan and Roxie then exited the room.

"Is this true?" asked Roxie

"I'm hoping not but that's why you're here to tell me I'm wrong"

"And she has no idea?"

"She's an expectant mother of six, she's doing this alone, the father is a donor"

"They're bank babies? Oh this just gets better. Is there any family at all?"

"They disowned her when she refused to reduce the fetus"

"Although their actions were wrong they had a point. Sextuplets is always going to be a hard pregnancy on mother and babies but when you're doing it alone with no help you have to think logically about this"

"She wanted a baby and then she had six, she couldn't imagine randomly reducing her children, they weren't fetus to her Rox they were her children"

"And now she's going to have to watch them struggle and fight for their lives IF the CHF doesn't get to her first"

"We're monitoring it. Now Roxie are you up for this case because if you're not I'll assign somebody else"

"Lets go break the news to Mama"

Roxie and Chan walked back into the room Chan with the ultrasound in tow. Roxie then began the ultrasound.

"So why are there so many doctors on my case?" asked Angela wondering why the head of general surgery was there

"We're just making sure that all the doctors are aware of your pregnancy because we don't know how long you're going to be before you go into labour we don't know by that time whether things will have changed…"

"You mean you don't know if me or the babies will need additional help?"

"That's the best way to put it" blurted out Roxie as she checked the ultrasound with a concerned look. She placed down the ultrasound and looked at Angela. "Angela this morning Dr Stevens noticed something and became concerned but didn't want you to worry until it was confirmed"

"Is there something wrong with my babies?"

"Baby C has what we call hypoplastic left heart syndrome, infants with the condition have an underdeveloped heart and typically do not survive more than a few days without surgery. The condition can be remedied by a series of three surgeries in which doctors reconstruct the underdeveloped portion of the heart and, little by little, redirect blood flow to the lungs for oxygenation"

"Wait is my child going to be ok?"

"I can't answer yes or no to that all I can say is that we will be doing everything we can to care for the baby throughout the pregnancy and once the baby has been delivered we will assess the situation and schedule the surgery immediately"

"My unborn, unborn child has to have a surgery the second he or she is out of the womb?"

"I know this is horrible for you, the thought of your baby going into surgery terrifies you to the core, you can't get your head around this brand new person needing help from the start. They're brand new and like anything else that's brand new you expect everything about them to be working fine and you can't understand it because you feel like you failed them and they're in trouble because of something you did and it's not your fault it's not and the thing you need to hold onto right now is the fact that you're their lifeline, you're keeping them all alive right now and safe and you're going to for as long as physically possible then it's up to us to be their lifeline just like you we're going to do everything physically possible to look after them. You've done nothing wrong, you're doing everything right"

"Ok but what if I can't keep the baby alive?"

"That's not an option"

"Dr Leoni" said Chan wondering why she was being so harsh on Angela

"You're going to be a mother, there are no 'ifs', 'buts' or 'maybes'. All you have to do is lay here and listen to the doctors and do what is required of you by the doctors and your babies"

Angela nodded agreeing with Roxie.

LATER – AT THE APARTMENT

Roxie walked in exhausted and beaten after her first day back. Mark soon came around the corner with a smile on his face.

"Hi"

"Hey" she replied throwing her coat on the chair

"I have a surprise"

"You do?"

"Yeah come here"

Roxie followed Mark into the bedroom and was surprised to see a new bed.

"What's this?"

"A new beginning, a new bed. Erasing all the bad stuff that happened"

"With a new bed?"

"Hunt was in there" said Mark admitting his discomfort "I also got rid of the one in the spare room"

"Ok fresh start"

Mark smiled as he looked at Roxie and she could see the filth in his eyes "No it's not happening we agreed to take it slow"

"So I'm in the spare room?"

"Just for a little while, Mark I want this to work"

"Ok" he said stepping in and hugging Roxie

A WEEK LATER

"So how was your first week back?" asked Dr Wyatt as she looked over at a physically and emotionally exhausted Roxie

"Things with Mark are great"

"You don't sound too sure about that?"

"No, no honestly they're great. We're taking things slowly and it's nice it's like getting to know him again without all the sexual confusion. It's interesting to see Mark without sex to fall back onto"

"Then why do you look so drawn?"

"I'd been back on the job ten minutes and I had to tell a woman her unborn child was severely ill. I felt everything she was going through, and it was so fresh, the hurt like I was reliving Faith all other again"

"Did you tell the patient about Faith?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Firstly it's not her business and secondly the expectant mother of a severely ill child doesn't need to hear that my severely ill child died. That's not going to help her"

"It may help you with the case"

"She's having six children, she's either oblivious or ignorant to the facts. Her children are going to struggle from the moment they're born they're going to be fighting for their lives and it's like she's expecting them to be bouncing babies and going home in a few days with her. She doesn't realise that she's got a long stretch of hospital ahead of her and the sooner those babies are born the worse off they are but there's no way she can carry them full term, they're going to be like six Faith's but worse off than Faith because she was a singleton a healthy weight and growth for a twenty five week gestation anyway but these kids aren't going to have that"

"Why do you think you were put on the case?"

"Unjust cruelty?"

"Unjust?" asked the doc wondering if Roxie was being honest with herself

"I can't turn my back on this woman because I don't want her to go through what I did with Faith but I'm struggling because of my experience with Faith. This woman could have reduced her fetus and had a healthy singleton, healthy twins or even healthy triplets that stood a chance and she chose to have all six of them and put them and herself at risk"

"You knew that Faith may not be Marks when you found out why didn't you have a termination? Why didn't you get rid of the baby and tell them you had miscarriage or something?"

"That's different"

"No it's not, you couldn't do it because you were in love with this little person that you'd never met, you were in love with this purely innocent being who had done nothing wrong. That's exactly how this woman feels about her children, she probably couldn't bring herself to reduce the fetus because to her they were little children that she was eager to meet and little beings that hadn't done anything wrong and deserved a shot"

"A shot in hell…that's what they've got a shot in hell. Faith wasn't in danger, I wasn't risking Faith's health by ignoring the fact that Derek could be her father"

"I think this is something we're going to have to agree to disagree on"

"I just want this case over with because it hurts is that so horrible?"

"No not at all"

Roxie's pager went off and she took it off her hip and sighed

"I have to get back to work" she said standing up and placing the pager on her hip once more

"Ok well don't feel you need an appointment to come and see me if this case gets too much come talk to me"

"Thanks" she said before walking out of the room

A Little While Later

Roxie approached the intern and he turned to her and began apologising.

"Where is he?" she asked

"You said to page you before the chief"

"Did you page the chief?"

"No"

"Good, don't!"

Roxie walked into an empty room which looked like it had been hit by a tornado and she looked over at Chan who stood by the window.

"It's not what it looks like" said Chan to his company

"It looks like you trashed the room"

"The shadow he thinks I'm using again and that's why he paged you"

"No he paged me because you were trashing a room Chan. So the pills?" she said looking over at the table spilt with tablets

"They're not mine"

"I never insinuated that they were, I'm just curious as to why SGH labelled bottles are in the room that you trashed"

"Hunt paged me to tell me one of my kids was here from the group you know, I got down there and Hunt had him pinned down, he'd got into the dispensary and lined his pockets. I dragged him here into this room and we shouted and as soon as I said I had to call the police he bolted and then I trashed the room. I have to explain this to the chief"

"Tell him what you told me"

"I can but all he and the rest of the hospital are guna hear is the drug addicted doctor trashed a hospital room and was found with a table full of pills, some of which are unaccounted for"

"Demand a test to prove you're negative"

"I'm never guna escape it am I? I'm always going to be the drug addicted doctor"

"I was thinking the doctor who may need anger management"

"Making jokes out of this?"

"You're making a big deal out of something you can prove with a urine or blood sample and Chan you're the only person in the entire hospital who thinks of yourself as the drug addict. People admire you for admitting your problem, getting through it, returning to work and helping others. You can't think like this if I did I wouldn't get out of bed in a morning with all the stupid things I've done whilst being here"

Just then the door opened and Skye walked in to see the complete chaos her eyes then shot to the table of pills and Chan sighed.

"It's not what it looks like" he said repeating himself

"I don't care whatever it is you need to talk to the chief" she said before leaving the room

"I'm the only one thinking it?" he asked referring to Skye's hostile attitude

ELSEWHERE

Skye entered the ladies room and leant on the sink her hands shaking and her heart pounding as she realised she wasn't prepared for the possible relapse in Chan's recovery and she stood asking herself whether she could deal with it.

LATER

Roxie finds Skye stood outside in the freezing cold she wraps her friends coat around her.

"Are you insane?" she asks

"You tell me"

"What?"

"Well I heard Chan, pills and I came running expecting the worst and he's told me the story and Hunt's vouched for him but I can't help but panic about what may happen. What if he relapses? I don't know if I can handle it, I don't know if I can go through it again and I love Chan but I don't think I could take him back again"

"This is all a lot of 'what ifs' he's fine"

"They're all fine before they relapse"

"If you think like that then you don't stand a chance. I don't know that Mark isn't going to hurt me again and he doesn't know that I'm not going to hurt him but we're trying again. I'm taking the same risk you are with Chan, the risk of being lied to and hurt"

"Mark cheating doesn't hurt him. Chan relapsing could hurt him and I don't think I can stand and watch that"

"You can't give up on him"

"I can't be strong enough for the both of us if it happens"

"If. Skye everyone believes in him, his councillors, the chief, his friends, his colleagues, the people in his program"

"The only person that doesn't believe in him is me" Skye then walked away

Suddenly both their pagers went off simultaneously they looked at their pagers and then at each other.

A Little While Later

The staff of Seattle Grace stood waiting for the ambulances to arrive after a fight broke out. The sound of sirens became louder as the ambulances pulled in and a door flew open.

"John Doe, involved in an altercation at a bar, unconscious for almost twenty minutes,"

Doctors tended to the John Doe as the doors to the other ambulance opened and a loud, intoxicated Irishman appeared serenading the EMT. As Roxie, Skye and Meredith tended to the man he turned his attention to them all and smiled.

"Charlie's angels. Your parent's must be extremely proud you being so smart and fucking hot to boot" said the Irishman speaking to Skye who was checking the heavily iced hand.

"Charlie Calahan, broken hand, possible dislocated shoulder…"

"Possible?" asked Skye

"He won't let us check he's insisting he's fine"

"That's cause I am sweetheart" he said smiling at the female EMT

"Let us be the judge of that Mr Calahan" replied Roxie

"Alright"

"Anything else Sheila?" Roxie asked the EMT

"External lacerations and what's going to be a shiner in the morning"

"Thanks"

They wheeled Charlie into the ER.

"Grey set up a banana bag with aspirin back" said Roxie as they wheeled him into a trauma room

"Do you have it covered in here?" asked Hunt sticking his head around the door

"Yeah we're good"

"Now Charlie I need to cut your shirt off so I can take a look at your shoulder"

"There's nothing wrong with my shoulder give me a pint of Guinness and I'll prove it to you"

"I think you've drunk enough for today Charlie so we're going to give you a nice banana bag to sober you up so when the police come you can tell them what happened"

"He fucking deserved it"

"Ok" she said looking at the obviously dislocated shoulder

"Right Dr Leoni we need to elevate his hand"

"Ok" replied Roxie a little distant as she checked his eyes and looked at his arms. She then took his hand and Charlie smiled.

"I usually have to buy a woman a drink first before she holds my hand"

"I'm not holding your hand I'm examining you"

"You know it's his right hand what's broken right?" asked Skye wondering what Roxie was doing

"Can we run his bloods too please?" said Roxie as Grey wrote it down on the chart

"Why?"

"Look at the colour of his skin"

Skye looked at the slight discolouration of his skin and realised that his free spirited days of drinking could soon be over.

LATER

Roxie was sat at the side of Charlie's bed checking on his hand when he woke up and looked at the room.

"What the fuck?" he said to himself as he didn't recognise his surroundings

"Hello there Charlie do you remember my name?"

Charlie gave her a tired and disorientated look.

"No"

"I'm Dr McKenzie I'm fixing your hand and your shoulder. Does your head hurt?"

"Slightly. What's wrong with me hand and shoulder?"

"Your hand is broken probably from punching during the bar room brawl and your shoulder is dislocated probably from the power behind the punch. Your punch bag is doing fine by the way"

"My punch bag?"

"The guy you knocked unconscious"

Charlie grinned and leant back on the bed and closed his eyes. His eyes suddenly opened as he heard the door and smiled as he saw Roxie walk in followed by Meredith.

"More gorgeous girls, the luck of the Irish hah?"

"Mr Calahan…"

"Charlie, Mr Calahan is my father sweetheart"

"Charlie my name is Dr Leoni and this is Dr Grey when you arrived in the ER I noticed slight skin discolouration so I ran some blood and we just received the results back and I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you have what is called alcoholic hepatitis which means inflammation of the liver"

"Liver failure?"

"Not quite it doesn't seem to be as severe as that…yet"

"But let me guess I have to stop me drinking?"

"Unless you want it to become liver failure then yeah you have to stop"

"Charlie's angels my arse more like the fucking grim reapers. This one tells me my hands fucked and my arms falling off and now you're taking away the one good thing in my life. Go to Seattle see the sights…that's bullshit I should have gone to Vegas"

Charlie then threw his head back frustrated and sighed.


	46. Chapter 46

LATER

Chan caught up with Roxie who was walking down the corridor.

"Roxie" shouted Chan

Roxie turned to see Chan running towards her finally catching her up.

"I was wondering how permanent our living situation was?"

"Why?"

"Well I'm really enjoying living there and I think it's helping with the recovery you know not going home alone at the end of the day but I don't want to overstay my welcome and I feel really bad for not paying my way but I can't afford to pay you and pay for my apartment so if this is a long term…"

"Give up the apartment you're welcome to move in on a permanent basis we'll talk money later"

"Great thanks" said Chan smiling as he watched Roxie walk away

AT CHARLIES ROOM

Roxie walked into Charlie's room where he laid in the bed motionless and Roxie looked at Meredith.

"You paged me?" asked Roxie looking for details

"Charlie's been in and out of sleep and has been very disorientated"

"Ok?"

"Well couldn't that mean that his case is worsening?"

"Possibly but it could also mean he's tired and disorientated because of this. Is there anything in particular that could make you feel his case worsening?"

"Just that I just thought…"

"He's a drunk if he weren't in the hospital right now he'd be at bar drinking, his bodies probably recuperating having it's first break in a long time"

"Isn't this just assumptions?"

"He has alcoholic hepatitis. Meredith I'm not saying you're wrong you may be dead on but unless you see something that factually states your belief we have to treat it as we are. I'll tell you what, when he's awake fully and he's coherent page me and I'll come and check him out"

"Ok"

Roxie left the room and Meredith stood at the side of Charlie's bed wondering if it was just a tired body or if his case was worsening and she hoped he'd wake up soon so they could determine this.

ELSEWHERE

Roxie walked up to the nurse's station where Mark stood writing on a chart as he stood in his cap and gown. He looked over to his left and smiled down at Roxie who smiled back at him.

"Hi" said Mark

"Hey"

They stared at each other for a moment longer.

"What?" asked Mark wondering what she was hiding

"Nothing, accept…Chan's moving in. He's giving up his apartment" Roxie then walked away leaving Mark teetering from the news.

LATER AT CHARLIE'S ROOM

Skye stood examining Charlie's hand as a now awoken Charlie stared at her admiring the beautiful woman before him.

"You have beautiful eyes" said Charlie with a smile

Skye knew she couldn't flirt back even though he was overwhelmingly attractive and charming.

"Well your hand seems to be healing nicely Charlie"

"You have a boyfriend right?"

"Do have any pain?"

"Only in my heart beautiful" he replied with a smile

"I mean in your hand or your shoulder?"

"No they're fine"

"So can you remember what happened last night?" Skye probed

"Yeah I can remember"

"I'm just asking because the cops are coming back later to speak to you"

"And not because you want to know?"

"No…" she lied "…I don't want to know I just want to make sure they don't have a wasted journey"

"What does it matter what I tell them? They're not going to listen to anything I say they're waiting for the other guy to wake up and tell his side of the story"

"They have to get both sides of the story"

"But they'll be the same story, yet they won't believe the Irishman until the other guy wakes up"

"So what you think it's discrimination?"

"Sort of"

"And what did the other guy do to deserve that beating?"

"He ran his mouth"

"And that's what he deserved?"

"He was extremely rude, and it was uncalled for"

"I've had close personal friends do worse and I haven't retaliated by beating them within an inch of their life"

"Yeah but that's because you're a gentle soul, some people are callous through to their cores"

"I'm glad I'm not like that"

"Me too because you wouldn't be half as a attractive if you were callous and twisted"

Skye finished her exam and looked at Charlie and couldn't believe the lack of remorse on his face she then sighed and walked away and out of the room. She walked over to the nurse's station where Karev was stood reading through charts.

"I can't believe someone can be so cold" said Skye referring to Charlie

"What?"

"He beat that guy up so severely that he's still unconscious and he's not showing any remorse, he's sat in there flirting with me. How can anyone be like that?"

"There are a lot of ugly people in the world you just have to hope you never come into contact with them"

"Too late" she said looking at Charlie and walking away

LATER

Skye walked into the Doctors lounge where she found Chan sat looking as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. She turned to leave hoping he hadn't noticed her.

"What is your problem?" he asked before she had chance to escape

"Sorry?" asked Skye wondering what she'd done wrong

"You've just written me off, one compromising position and you've written me off as a wash out. Why don't you have faith in me? Why can't you believe that I'm going to come through this and make a full recovery?"

"I'm marrying you Chan what more do you need?"

"You're marrying me so those people out there don't think you've given up on me but the truth is you never had faith in me to begin with you were just hoping it wouldn't happen and the tiniest little sniff of a possibility and you're doubting me even more. I don't know that I'm going to make a full recovery, I don't know that I'm not going to relapse but I do know I have something to fight for something to make me stronger and imagine how much it hurts to find out that one thing has no faith in me"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't have faith in your recovery, I want to, I want you to recover I do, I want us to get married and be happy and I don't want to have a fear in the back of mind that one day you're going to relapse. I've just been down this road too many times before with my alcoholic father who gave up drinking more times than I want to remember so no Chan I can't have faith because it hurts too much when I'm let down"

"I'm not your father, just because he couldn't do it doesn't mean that I can't. People can change Skye, just not you, you'll never change you'll always be pessimistic and find fault in everything and everyone and the slightest sign of weakness and you're ready to give up"

"That's not fair, I stuck by you all the way"

"Don't kid yourself Skye you didn't do it for me you did it because everybody was telling you that I'm not really a bad guy and you shouldn't give up on me. Well let me be the bad guy so you don't have to feel bad about yourself…I think we should take a break"

"You're breaking up with me?"

"No I'm saying we need a break, you obviously can't deal with this and I can't deal with you having no faith in me so maybe it's best to put us on hold until you're satisfied with my progress"

Skye looked at Chan with disgust she couldn't believe he was saying this to her and rather than give him the satisfaction of knowing she was upset she walked out of the room without a word said slamming the door behind her. Chan sighed and although it was hurting him he knew he'd made the right decision as far as his recovery was concerned but he wondered if by pushing her away he was going to lose Skye forever.

LATER AT JOES BAR

Roxie and Skye were sat at the bar and after revealing to her friend what had happened between her and Chan, Roxie sat dumbfounded.

"I'm just…in shock" said Roxie

"Me too. Can you believe he said that I gave up on him?"

"I'm not getting into it Skye because you're both my friends, I can't take sides"

"You think I gave up on him too?"

"Skye you said you didn't believe in him and that you couldn't take him back if he relapsed. He doesn't need that negativity around him at the moment even if you don't believe you have to make him believe you do. I'm not blaming you, you have the right to be cautious and to protect yourself but you have to decide which is more important protecting yourself from possible hurt of him relapsing or sticking by the man you love and helping him overcome his demons"

Skye then sighed and wondered to herself if she loved Chan enough to risk getting hurt.

LATER AT THE APARTMENT

Mark had run into Chan and after discussing the living arrangements and finding out about Chan and Skye, Mark realised Chan needed Roxie's support as much as Roxie needed Chan's and agreed to help make some room for Chan's things.

"Where shall I put this again?" asked Chan placing down a set of drawers

"It'll have to go into the spare room next to yours" replied Mark

Chan proceeded to the room and opened the door and stood frozen to the spot as he looked into the room to see the nursery Mark had prepared for the baby.

"Are you sure you want it to go in here?" shouted Chan

Mark walked around the corner "Yeah it'll be fine in there" he said approaching the door and seeing the nursery exactly as it had been left. "Oh my God"

"She told me and Skye she'd given the things to charity and had painted the room"

"She's not even been in there" Mark couldn't understand why Roxie had kept everything and blocked the room out

A FEW DAYS LATER

Roxie and Meredith ran into Charlie's room where he was writhing in agony holding onto his abdomen the intensity of the pain apparent in his expression.

"I was checking on his shoulder and he just became disorientated and then started screaming in pain" said Skye

"Look at his skin" said Meredith noticing the deep jaundice now present "I knew something wasn't right" she said looking at Roxie

Roxie fought with Charlie to examine his abdomen "Charlie we can't help you unless you let me examine you right now" but Charlie wouldn't let her "Ok restrain him" the staff surrounded the bed and restrained Charlie long enough for Roxie to check him over "Ok we need to get him to the OR now"

"Something should have been done days ago" said Meredith as they wheeled Charlie out of the room

"Grey this was a hard call, he's an alcoholic going through withdrawal, his body is adjusting to this, we had to wait for something crystal before we made a move on this"

"And now he may die" she said leaving the room

Roxie sighed hoping Meredith wasn't right "You made the right call"

"Lets see if that's still the consensus in a few hours"

LATER

Derek was in John Doe's room doing a neuro exam when John Doe slowly began to regain consciousness. His eyes slowly opened and closed as he woke up. Derek watched and waited for him to open his eyes fully he then moved in and checked the patient's pupils.

"Hello sir, it's nice to see you back with us. I'm Dr Shepherd can you tell me your name?"

"Jase, what?..."

"You were involved in an altercation and you were brought into the hospital with facial lacerations, broken ribs, broken cheekbone and a basilar skull fracture most likely from a blunt trauma but I am happy to report you seem to be perfectly fine I need to do a neurological exam but the fact you know your own name is promising" smiled Derek as he stopped checking the patient's pupils.

"How long have I been unconscious?"

"I believe you have been in and out consciousness since your arrival four days ago but hopefully now you're going to be fine. Jase due to the situation we're required to call the police and they're going to want to speak to you about the events of that night, can you remember anything?"

"Nothing specific, I got into an argument with this guy and he started hitting me and as I hit the ground I felt them kicking me had to be at least three or four of them and then they became fewer someone pulled them off and I remember them beating him and he just laughed"

"Who laughed?"

"The guy they were beating up, the Irish guy he was calling them pansies"

Derek sat dumbfounded as he as well as others at the hospital had made the assumption Charlie had beaten Jase up. "The Irishman helped you?"

"Yeah was he ok?"

"He was brought in along with you he suffered a broken hand and dislocated shoulder"

"So he is ok?"

Derek looked at Jase and prepared to tell him of Charlie's misfortune.

LATER IN THE OR

Roxie and Meredith operated on Charlie trying to stop the bleeding in his guts and the clotting near his heart.

"Look at that" said Roxie as the liver appeared at the later stages of cirrhosis

"How did he not show more severe signs?" asked a bewildered Meredith

"He was a heavy drinker he's probably not felt well for a long time but put it down to the drink and drink is great at masking pain, this is probably the first time his body has been able to feel this"

"To think if he hadn't beaten that guy up he wouldn't have come to the hospital and he could be dead right now" said Meredith as the door to the OR opened

"Actually Mr Callahan was coming to the aid of our John Doe" said Derek

Roxie and Meredith looked at Derek "Wait what?" asked Meredith

"John Doe woke up his name is Jase Collins and he said the Irishman, Mr Callahan came to his aid when he was being outnumbered and that he took quite a beating whilst trying to save him"

The room stood silent as like most they had assumed Charlie had beaten Jase up.

"Wow well good on ya Charlie, well I guess we should save this guys life so Jase can thank him" said Roxie returning to her work

"And vice versa" said Meredith referring to the twist of fate

LATER IN CHARLIES ROOM

Charlie began to come around and the nurse called in Roxie who was stood outside and who was followed by Skye.

"Welcome back" said Roxie as she approached the bed to see a tired Charlie

"What happened?" he uttered painfully

"Push another morphine" ordered Roxie seeing the pain on his face

"Charlie my guess is that because you drank so heavily you hadn't been able to feel the true pain your body was in but because you've come off the drink cold turkey the true extent of your bodies deterioration has become apparent causing you severe pain over your liver, which led us to take you into the OR where we found you were bleeding internally and that your liver was severely deformed"

"Good God lass I've only just woken up and now you're tearing my world apart again…you are the fucking grim reaper"

"Charlie, I am sorry about this but you need to be fully aware of this because you have liver failure and without the effective treatment you will die, Charlie you need a new liver"

"Fuck" he said sombrely as he realised he really was sick

"You're on the list UNOS will contact us when they have a liver for you but we need to keep you in the hospital"

"I can't leave?"

"It's not advisable no"

"But you can't stop me from leaving"

Just then Roxie's pager went off and she looked at her pager "No I can't but hopefully you have the sense enough to stay here and let us look after you"

Roxie then left the room leaving Skye and Charlie alone. Skye looked at Charlie she could see the pain in his eyes his world had been torn apart and he was all alone, she could relate with him.

"I know this is scary but Dr Leoni is the best"

"I trust her that's not the problem I thought I was living, having a laugh, meeting people, seeing the world and all this time it's been killing me"

"Think of it this way it also saved your life"

"What?" he asked giving her a strange look

"Drinking caused this yeah but someone up there thinks you deserve a second chance because if you weren't drinking you wouldn't have been in that bar and you wouldn't have stepped in to help that guy…" Charlie looked at Skye wondering how she knew "…and you wouldn't have been beaten up and brought to the hospital and it wouldn't have been detected until it was way too late"

"I guess, you're very optimistic that's a nice quality to have" Skye smiled as Charlie called her optimistic feeling good about herself for the first time since her argument with Chan where he deemed her pessimistic

"You don't have to drink to enjoy yourself. Drink just blurs the edges on a bad day or time in your life…if you're going to have fun and make memories don't you want to be able to remember them?"

Charlie smiled at Skye and nodded his head "Yeah I want to remember all the good times and all the beautiful things I see"

Suddenly the door opened and an intern walked in.

"Dr McKenzie I've scheduled Mr Phillips surgery for seven"

"Ok thank you" she said watching the intern leave

"So the guy he's ok?" said Charlie changing the subject

"Sorry?"

"Well you know I tried to help him so he must be awake but is he ok?"

"Oh yeah he's fine. Why didn't you tell people you tried to help him? Instead you let them believe you'd hurt him?"

"It's easier to be the low life that everyone thinks you are, than to change their opinion on you. You all thought I was a drunk Irishman who thought with his fists…people make assumptions about you it's the way the world works as long as you know who you are doesn't matter what they fucking think"

LATER AT THE APARTMENT

Roxie walked into the apartment and dumped her things down in a heap on the floor she exhaustedly made her way over to her room and was startled as Mark slammed his door. She looked over at him and smiled as he approached her.

"Hi"

"Hey" replied Mark looking very serious

"What's wrong with you?"

"I was helping Chan with his things and I told him to put some stuff in the spare room guess what we found when we opened the door?" Roxie looked at Mark with no reply "You told Chan you'd got rid of everything. Roxie you need to deal with this"

"Why?" she asked defensively

"You can't keep a shrine for Faith you need to deal with it"

"It's not a shrine, it's a nursery"

"That we prepared for the baby"

"No that 'you' prepared for 'our' baby. Not for faith"

"Roxie…"

"Mark I told them I'd dealt with it because everybody was expecting me to burn the nursery down or something so I don't have to deal with it but as far as I'm concerned that nursery wasn't Faith's you made that for our baby. Even if she had survived I couldn't have brought Faith home and put her in that nursery it would have been a slap in the face for you for one thing"

"So what you're keeping the room like that until we have a kid?"

"Yeah I am because you did that room for your baby"

Mark sighed and pulled Roxie in close and held her tight realising he had to drop the subject because she was dealing with it just in her own way.


	47. Chapter 47

TWO WEEKS LATER

Doctors rushed into the room of Angela Decesare as she began to writhe in agony.

"Ok Angela these babies are coming right now. I know this is painful and scary but you made it to almost thirty weeks which is excellent gestation for six babies…remember that ok?" said Chan trying to be encouraging "Ok everybody needs to get ready for these babies and she needs rolling down to the OR immediately" ordered Chan

"Ok we need to get Baby C out as soon as possible and determine the next step" said Roxie to Chan as they walked out of the room

LATER IN THE OR

Chan was trying to deliver the babies as safely as possible.

"Ok here comes Baby B" he said as he raised the baby and handed the baby boy over to the team standing by.

Chan then proceeded to deliver the other five babies as the team worked on Baby B trying to open his airways clearly before rushing him to the NICU.

"Baby E is coming out" said Chan alerting Baby E's team who rushed to the table as Chan delivered Baby E successfully handing her to the team who tended to her immediately

"Pulse is dropping" said O'Malley who was assisting Chan

"Chan we need Baby C before they kill each other" said Roxie stepping forward

"I can't get to Baby C"

"Tell me what you need me to do" she said moving to the table

"You need get to ready"

"If I don't help you get this baby out there won't be anything I can do"

Chan looked at Roxie and nodded his head. "Ok" he agreed giving her direction as they worked on delivering Baby C the room went deadly silent.

"Her pulse is elevating, it's…it's…fine" said O'Malley a little confused as Chan handed Baby C over to Roxie who looked at a nervous Chan.

"You're doing amazing Chan keep it up" she said before walking away with Baby C ready to do any necessary work on the beautiful baby boy.

Chan continued to deliver the last three babies and his eyes lit up as he saw two of the babies laid head to toe next to each other he was suddenly reminded of Yin and Yang complementary opposites within a greater whole, Angela's CHF and Baby C's hypoplastic left heart syndrome were the negatives of a brighter outcome where the six babies and mother were all still healthy at thirty weeks gestation itself an incredible accomplishment. Chan smiled beneath his mask as he proudly delivered Baby A followed by Baby F and finally Baby D. The babies were all tended to by their designated teams as Chan tended to Angela.

LATER OUTSIDE THE NICU

Chan sat down outside the NICU still flying over his delivery of sextuplets he sat on the floor with his scrub cap still on staring at his inner wrist where a Yin and Yang tattoo was situated. Roxie approached Chan and sat down beside him.

"You have a Yin and Yang tattoo?" she asked stroking his wrist

"Yeah"

"How have I never seen that before?"

"It's usually covered by my watch"

"Ahh so what's the story behind it?"

"When I was in med school I had this professor and he said medicine is science, it's factual but over your career as a doctor they'll be things you can't explain and you also have to have faith or you'll never make it as a doctor because when these unexplainable things happen you can either accept them or seek an answer which you'll never find. He said that Yin and Yang will be symbolic throughout your career, it just stuck with me and he was right"

"So you think the sextuplets are a case of Yin and Yang?"

"She had a brain dead doctor, then her ankle swells like a melon and she's brought here where she's diagnosed with CHF and Baby C has his heart thing yet through all of this she makes it to thirty weeks which is amazing in itself but what's more amazing is that they're all fine I know Baby C isn't completely fine but he's fighting right?"

"Right"

"Serious case of Yin and Yang"

"I guess, kind of like Charlie"

"The irish guy?"

"Yeah he drank heavily which caused his liver failure but if he hadn't been drinking he wouldn't have got into a bar fight and wouldn't have been brought here where it was diagnosed"

"You're getting it" smiled Chan

"So where's the Yin and Yang with me and Faith?" she asked curiously

Chan paused and finally replied "She wasn't Mark's"

"What?"

"You made a mistake by sleeping with Derek, you got pregnant and Faith wasn't Marks. She died so you and Mark could be together because you're made for each other"

"And she had to die?"

"If she'd have lived you wouldn't be with Mark"

"Got to say I'm not a fan of Yin and Yang" Roxie sighed and shook her head "She gets told her chances of having a kid are slim and then she does the fertility treatment and a donor later she's pregnant with six children, she has congestive heart failure, Baby C has heart problems although if I do my job right he'll be fine, somehow she makes it to thirty weeks and her and the babies are fine. I had one baby and I only made it twenty five weeks, the heaviest of those six is only three pounds more than Faith was, three that's it and she was as developed as they are if not more especially more than Baby C and my babies dead and all hers are alive"

"It's not fair I know" sympathised Chan as he saw the pain in his friends eyes.

"She's never coming back, she has six children who by medical odds shouldn't be here and I've lost my beautiful girl"

"Roxie babe what happened to you was a freak thing, you didn't do anything wrong, there's nothing wrong with you, placental abruption just sometimes happens without explanation. Where is this coming from?"

"Mark came to me about the nursery asking why I hadn't given the stuff away and redecorated"

"What did you tell him?"

"I didn't do anything because he did that for his kid…for our kid" Roxie sighed "What if I get pregnant again, I'm at a greater risk of it happening again because of Faith"

"Yeah you are but because of Faith they'll be looking for it this time. Placental abruption occurs in one percent of pregnancies, that's it one percent. Yeah it happened to you and that's terrible because Faith died but if you get pregnant again they'll not miss it"

Roxie looked a little sad as the memories of Faith were strong as she sat outside of the NICU with Chan.

"Why OB?" she asked

Chan looked at her and smiled "They're brand new, even when it's complicated like Baby C they're still brand new and they have their entire lives ahead of them and they could become anything a doctor, a lawyer, the president and you have something to do with it, you were there and when it's good and everybodies healthy there is no happier and warmer place in the entire hospital than in a delivery room. It's an amazing feeling. Saving lives is a close second don't get me wrong but bringing a new life into the world is just indescribable"

Roxie smiled and leant on Chan's shoulder as they both had a long night ahead of them as the babies continued to fight.

A FEW DAYS LATER

An exhausted Roxie walked into Charlie's room where she found a high spirited Charlie.

"Good morning" he said with a smile

"Hi"

"How's the pregnant lady?" he asked

"You know she had the babies right?"

"Ok the once pregnant lady?"

"She's fine"

"And the babies?"

"They're good too, one of them has to have an operation today but he should be fine"

"An operation what are they a week old?"

"Four days" she replied

"Poor thing"

"So Charlie how are you feeling?" she asked changing the subject

"There is a medical miracle in the hospital I'm feeling pretty good and confident of the staff"

Roxie smiled "I'm glad you're feeling optimistic"

The door to Charlie's room opened and Skye walked in.

"Morning" smiled Charlie

"Morning" she replied walking in and checking Charlie's hand.

"Ok Charlie I've just prescribed a lower dosage of painkillers seen as though you're so happy this morning lets see how low we can reduce this. The lower the better"

"I have a high pain threshold"

"I'm sure you do" she smiled "Dr Grey will be in at some point to run more tests and keep an eye on you and we'll get back onto UNOS"

"Thanks doc"

Roxie then left the room and returned his chart to the nurses station. Charlie smiled at Skye who smiled back.

"What?"

"I think the nurses are becoming suspicious"

"About what?"

"About you coming in to check on my hand everyday"

"It's my job"

"My hands still broken"

"Yeah well how would I know if I didn't check?"

"Oh come on Dr McKenzie lets be honest you're just using this as an excuse to come and see me everyday because you're infatuated"

"Infatuated? I don't think so"

"Who are you trying to kid? All these doctors have a minion or five to run around and do their work for them yet you make a special visit to see me everyday to check whether my hand is still broken"

Skye didn't reply but Charlie noticed her cheeks go crimson and he smiled "So does your boyfriend know about us?"

Skye looked at Charlie "I broke up with my boyfriend"

"Oh?" said Charlie with a grin

"…And there's no us"

"Yet" he smiled "You know you'd be the first woman to get the new and improved version without the drinking and all that"

"Still not interested Charlie; your hand is healing well…"

"Still?" he joked

"…I'll send someone in to change the dressing a little later"

"You can't do it?"

"I could but I have little minions remember" she said smiling as she walked out of the room leaving a cheerful Charlie behind.

Skye approached Roxie who was finishing writing up on Charlie's chart.

"So has anything been heard from UNOS?" asked Skye

"Not yet they assure us he's high priority but…"

"Not the top of the list?"

"I think he's third"

"He could be dead before he gets a liver"

"Yeah I know that Skye" she said sharply as if offended by Skye's response

"What will it take to get him at the top of the list?"

"The two patients before him getting donors"

"I mean medically Rox"

Roxie looked at the concern on her friends face and wondered to herself why she cared so much about Charlie.

"Oh Skye please don't tell me he's the reason you and Chan broke up"

"No, no Chan broke up with me and there's nothing going on with me and Charlie, he's just a nice guy who did a nice thing and now he's dying don't you feel that he should get the new liver as like a reward? They could have beaten the other guy to death he was near death when he arrived imagine what could have happened if Charlie hadn't taken a beating for him, he doesn't deserve this"

"Skye as heartless as this is going to sound it's self inflicted, he did this to himself"

"I know but it's not like he was getting drunk and doing bad things he was just having fun"

"Yeah liver failure doesn't pick it's victims based of reasoning Skye"

"It's just so unfair" she said looking back at Charlie

Roxie sighed "If he were to slip into a hepatic coma but then there's no guarantee he'd wake up after the transplant. Beside this I don't know what would get him bumped up the list the internal bleeding was what got him bumped up in the first place but it wasn't enough to get him to the top of the list"

"A coma that's his only hope?"

"Other than a mass fatality yeah I'm afraid so. I have to go but I'll catch you later ok?"

"Yeah" replied Skye looking back at Charlie with concern

LATER

Chan and Roxie stood in the scrub room looking in to see their tiny patient laying on the table waiting for heart surgery.

"How are you doing?" asked Chan looking at Roxie wondering how close to home this was hitting as only months earlier it had been Faith in the OR.

"I'm fine"

"There's still the chance to hand this over to Hahn if it's too much"

"What and I avoid every baby case for the rest of my career? Chan I'm not going to pretend this is easy because it isn't but I can't let what happened to Faith stop me from doing my job. I can do this and I'm going to, to the best of my ability if only to stop Angela from having to go through what I did with Faith" Roxie finished scrubbing in and walked into the OR where she waited to be joined by Chan.

LATER - IN THE NICU

Angela sat with her babies in the NICU waiting for news of Baby C's surgery. The doors opened to the NICU and Derek walked in he made his way over to Angela and sat down beside her. She looked at him with fear on her face wondering if he was bringing her bad news about Baby C.

"Hi my names Derek I am the head of neuro-surgery"

"Neuro there's something wrong?"

"No, I just thought you might need company during your babies operation"

"Oh thank you but I don't want to keep you from your work"

"You're not I promise, I made sure I could be here with you"

"Why?"

"Four months ago my daughter was in here she was extremely premature and her mother suffered a placental abruption which caused the baby a lot of distress and when my daughter was being operated on every second felt like a minute, every minute an hour…"

"Every hour a lifetime" said Angela cutting him off

"You feel helpless, it's a horrible feeling and the doctors are so busy working on saving your baby that they sometimes forget that you're here waiting and expecting the worse"

"Did your baby get better?"

Derek sat silent for a moment and shook his head "No she just couldn't take anymore"

"Oh my God I'm so sorry" said Angela with sympathy for a broken Derek who sat before her

"Thank you when Faith, my daughter was ill and when she passed away it hit her mother harder than it did me because no matter how much I loved her and missed her, I never had the connection with her that her mother did and I know this must be as hard on you as it was on her so I'm just guna sit here and be supportive"

"Thank you" she said taking his hand

LATER

Roxie and Chan stood outside the NICU and waited for Angela to join them. Roxie looked confused as Derek appeared with Angela. A desperate Angela stood nervously.

"Firstly Angela the babies fine" said Chan smiling as he saw the relief on her face

"We opened the baby up and found that the underdevelopment was more severe than we originally thought, because the left ventricle cannot pump blood adequately to the body, the procedure that we did today allows the right ventricle to pump blood to both the lungs and the body. The procedure involves reconstructing the aortic arch which is the main blood vessel supplying blood to the body and inserting a tube that connects the aorta to the pulmonary artery which is the blood vessel which supplies blood to the lungs" said Roxie

"Where are you going with all of this?" asked Angela

"The procedure we did today was successful but due to the severe underdevelopment of his heart we can't guarantee that it will uphold" finished Roxie

"We're not saying he won't be fine but we can't say that he will be either. If UNOS comes through with a heart we will proceed with a transplant" continued Chan

"He needs a new heart?"

"I think what Dr Tatum is trying to say is that because of the unpredictability due to his underdevelopment it's the best option. For now though he is ok however he will still look ill he'll still be blue but he is fighting and children are extremely resilient" said a hopeful Roxie

"Ok so he's fine for now?" asked Angela

"Yes" said Roxie

"And can I see him?"

"They'll be bringing him back soon"

"Thank you" she said hugging Chan and Roxie and returning to the NICU

"I'm going to crash" said an exhausted Chan making his way to the on call room.

Roxie turned to Derek and smiled at him "Why were you in there?" asked Roxie

"I just thought she might need somebody"

"So instead of going home to Meredith and enjoying what little time you get to yourself you spend it in the hospital with Angela?"

"It wasn't long ago we were in this situation, I felt bad for her. Even though things got messy with us I still had Meredith, Mark was still there for you and so were our friends. She's here all alone, I was in hell with somebody by my side I just thought being there with her might help even if only a little"

Roxie smiled at Derek "Oh this is why they call you McDreamy" Derek giggled and smiled

"I'm going to take what little time I have left to myself and find Meredith. I'll see you later" he said as he walked away from the NICU

Roxie walked up to the window of the NICU and looked in to see Angela watching over her five babies, the door then opened to the NICU and Baby C returned a wide smile appeared on her face as she approached the incubator and looked down at her baby who's future was unpredictable at this point she then looked around the room at all the other babies and sighed as memories of Faith flooded back.

A Little While Later

Roxie paced the locker room and looked at the clock she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks and walked over to her locker and moved a jacket she had on a hanger to one side to reveal a pregnancy test sitting on the shelf she took a deep breath and pulled the test down to eye level. She stood sombre and silent for a moment, her pager then sounded and after checking it she then she quickly pushed the pregnancy test back into the box and into a bag and rushed out of the room throwing it into the nearest trash can and proceeding to answer her page.

Moments Later in The NICU

Roxie made her way into the NICU to find Chan working on Baby C who had suddenly coded after experiencing breathing problems.

"What happened?" asked Roxie as she approached the dramatic scene

"You paged Dr Leoni? What was the one thing I said?" shouted Chan at the nurse

"Why shouldn't she page me?" asked Roxie

"Baby C is suffering RDS"

Roxie soon realised why Chan didn't want her paging and after a long pause "What can I do?" she asked

"Take over with CPR" he said wondering if this were too much for Roxie but she stepped forward and she took over from Chan. "Tell me if this gets too much"

"I'm good" she said trying to convince herself as well as Chan as she continued CPR on Baby C


	48. Chapter 48

LATER

Roxie ran into the ladies bathroom and into a stall where she immediately began to vomit. The door opened and Chan walked in to see two women washing their hands.

"Oh I'm sorry I just need to…" he said pointing at Roxie's stall "…Rox let me in"

A few moments later the door opened and Roxie appeared with tears on her face.

"Too much, it's too much"

"Ok, we'll get Hahn on the case"

"No"

"Roxie if this is the reaction you have every time we have to deal with Baby C maybe you're better off passing the case on"

"I CAN'T" she screamed amazingly not shocking Chan who had almost expected the outburst "Faith died, I can't let him die, I can't let her go through that. Yeah she has five other kids but that won't ease the pain of losing Baby C I can't let her feel that pain"

"He's sick you can help him but you can't promise her that he'll make it, even if he gets a heart in time, ten years down the line he'll probably need another one, and then another one after that"

"At least she'll get some time with him"

"Roxie you can't make this go away, he's a very sick little boy and unless a miracle happens he's going to be a sick little boy for the foreseeable future. There's no quick fix. You can't put that much pressure on yourself"

After a long silence she replied "You're right"

"Come on lets go sleep or something"

"Err yeah I'll catch you up"

"Rox?"

"I need to get some water and brush my teeth, vomiting and…"

"Yeah ok, you're ok right?"

Roxie nodded and Chan smiled before leaving the bathroom. Roxie then retrieved her phone and made a call.

"Hi my name is Roxanne Leoni and I'd like to schedule a termination, as soon as possible please"

THE NEXT DAY

Roxie is sat in the waiting area surrounded by pregnant women all glowing and smiling happily awaiting the arrival of their beautiful babies.

"Roxanne Leoni" called the doctor

Roxie stood up and walked towards the door and proceeded inside where she took a seat.

"I understand you're here for a termination but I am obligated to make sure you're fully aware of your options. There are other options besides termination, you know? Adoption, keeping the baby"

"I know the options but I want a termination"

"I read your chart…"

"Out of obligation?" asked Roxie with a little attitude

"I know your first pregnancy was traumatic and falling pregnant so soon after must be terrifying with all those bad memories so fresh but no two pregnancies are the same and because of the placental abruption you experienced preventing this from happening again will be top priority"

"You know who I am, you know I'm a doctor, you know that I know all of this already and you know I am capable of making a well informed decision and my decision is to have a termination. All I need from you is to know when I can get this done"

The doctor realised she wouldn't be able to talk Roxie around and looked in her book "I can schedule it for a week from Friday which is the 14th"

"That's fine"

The doctor continued to make the appointment.

A Few Minutes Later

Roxie walked out of the room and collected her appointment card at the desk and left, as she did so Chan stood watching her and wondered to himself why she was there.

LATER

Roxie was in the on call room catching some sleep whilst the hospital was sleeping she soon became aware of a presence beside her and she turned and smiled as she saw Mark spooning her. She giggled as she felt his arms encircling her and slowly running up to her ample bosoms.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked reminding him of their celibacy agreement

"Taking things slowly"

"This is taking things slowly?"

"Yeah before our agreement I'd have already taken your panties off. Come on give me a little I'm being 'really' patient"

Roxie turned over to face Mark and smiled "I want to I do but there's just so much history and I don't think its far enough in the past just yet"

"So more celibacy?"

"I'm sorry"

"Me too" he replied kissing her softly and getting out of the bed

"You're leaving?"

"Well if I'm not getting any" he smiled as he threw on his shirt

"That's all I'm good for? You can't spend time with me unless you're getting a little something?"

Mark smiled and leant over and kissed Roxie sweetly "That's right" he joked with a wink before he left the room "Whoa" he said as he almost walked into Chan "Sorry about that"

Chan walked in and Mark left "Something you want to tell me?"

Roxie sat up and looked at Chan bewildered not sure what he was talking about

"I saw you coming out of the OB clinic"

"And?"

"Please tell me you're not doing something stupid?"

"I'm not"

"Roxie I know the thought of getting pregnant again and the possibility of a rough pregnancy is terrifying but you need to think before you act. What about Mark doesn't he deserve a say? He wants babies with you and you're robbing him of that without even discussing it with him?"

"It's my body"

"It's his life, he shouldn't be lied to, he wants kids"

"It's too soon, I can't do it, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to but this is too soon. So I'm going through with the termination whether you agree with it or not"

"Termination? You're pregnant?"

"I…what were you talking about?"

"Sterilisation, I thought…you're having a termination?"

"Chan I'm not ready"

"Roxie you lost Faith that was awful but maybe this is the Yang to your Yin. You lost Faith and now you're pregnant again with Mark's baby…it is Marks right?" Roxie nodded "When?"

"Like seven weeks or so"

"Roxie I know you're scared but it would be different this time"

"Can you promise that? Can you promise me that I'm going to have a healthy baby?"

"I can't promise any pregnant woman that but I can promise to look after them"

"Chan it isn't that I don't trust you it's that I can't risk losing two babies at all let alone so close together"

"You don't know that you're going to lose a baby"

"And you don't know that I'm not"

"You know the ironic thing here is you're going to have a termination, to kill the fetus just so you don't have to worry about the minute possibility that your baby could die"

"Chan you may be a gyno but you'll never understand what it's like to carry a child, and to lose something that has been apart of you, you'll never get that…ever! This inside it's a tiny little thing too small to be anything right now, too small to be a person, if I go through with this it'll be easier than losing another child because if I have to lose another child I don't know if I can come back from that, seeing this little person struggle, watching them fade away, seeing that tiny little casket" Roxie's eyes began to well up "I can't do it" Chan moved forward and held her tight in his arms.

"Come with me" he said taking her hand

A Little While Later

Chan and Roxie walked into a room where a woman sat with her baby in her arms.

"Hi Lianne this is Dr Leoni she's just shadowing me for today"

"Hi" said Lianne

"Hey" replied Roxie wondering why she was there

"Do you mind if I bring her up to speed?"

"No not at all"

"Lianne fell down the stairs at twenty six weeks she had to have an emergency c-section because of all the trauma the baby had had. He weighed one pound one ounce. We call him the one pound wonder because he's now ten months and he's perfectly healthy but it didn't come without a lot of scares for Mom and baby"

"Oh God no there were days I didn't think he'd make it but you're right he's the one pound wonder"

"And now he's back for his check up"

Roxie looked at Chan and then the baby and mother "Lianne, Dr Leoni just found out she's pregnant"

"Really? That's fantastic. How far along?"

"Oh it's only early days about nine weeks now right?" he asked looking at Roxie

"Are you excited?"

"Not really no"

"Why not?"

"Because this isn't my first pregnancy I lost a baby four months ago. She was born at twenty five weeks, she weighed very little over a pound, she didn't survive…you're baby truly is the one pound wonder, an absolute miracle and I hope you treasure him but I can't get excited because my experience wasn't as happy as yours" said Roxie before leaving the room

"Excuse me" he said walking out the room after Roxie "Roxie"

"That was low, that was like rubbing salt in the wound"

"I was just trying to show you that bad stuff happens and it still works out fine. Faith was a freak case, it shouldn't have happened but it did, that shouldn't stop you from trying to have a family"

"You don't have the right to make this decision for me. You didn't go through it" she said walking away angrily

LATER – AT CHARLIES ROOM

Skye opened the door to Charlie's room where he laid asleep and she looked at him and for the first time she could see just how ill he was. He wasn't awake and putting his Irish charm on everything he was quiet and still and frail and ill. She walked over to the bed and stroked his face gently he suddenly jolted out of his sleep and looked up at Skye his shock soon turned to a gleeful smile as he saw her before him.

"Sorry"

"Don't be. I thought you were sending your minions from now on?"

"You're really sick"

"Tell me something I don't know"

"Ok, the suns shining"

"In Seattle?"

Skye smiled "Yeah and there's blue skies, it's rare out here and it shouldn't missed. If you're up for it I'll take you out to witness it"

"I'm up for anything sweetheart"

LATER – OUTSIDE IN THE CAFETERIA GARDENS

Skye sat with Charlie at a table as they ate their lunches and drank coffee.

"You don't have to eat it you know" she said as she saw him struggling "Loss of appetite it's common with your situation. You can stop eating"

Charlie smiled and put down his fork "What I had of it was delicious"

Suddenly Roxie walked out to see Skye and Charlie sat down she furiously walked over to the table.

"What is Charlie doing out of his room?"

"He needed fresh air"

"He needs bed rest, he needs to be monitored"

"What because I'm not looking after him?"

"Get him back to his room"

"Does Charlie have a say in this?" asked Charlie himself

"Dr McKenzie was being extremely unprofessional by bringing you here and unless she wants the chief to find out she'll be taking you back"

Roxie then walked away and Skye sighed "What's wrong with her?" he asked

"Stuff"

"And you're going to take it from her?"

"She's kind of allowed to be like that for a little while"

"How come?"

"The stuff was really bad"

"Like breaking up with your fella? Falling in love with a dying Irishman?"

Skye smiled "If I'm not infatuated with you it's safe to say I'm not in love with you and as for Roxie her stuffs worse than mine"

"You're not going to tell me?"

Skye shook her head and smiled before standing up "Lets get you back" she then proceeded to wheel Charlie back into the hospital

LATER

Roxie was walking through the corridor when she was joined by Derek who didn't say a word. She looked at him curiously wondering what he was doing and why he wasn't speaking. As they approached the elevators he grabbed her arm and pulled her inside.

"Hey what are you doing?" she asked as he hit the button

"It hurts, even if I stop for half a second I think about her and it hurts but then I find myself in the elevator like we are right now and stopping at the right floor" the elevator stopped and the doors opened "Like we are right now" he said pulling her along with him "And I walk down this long corridor and suddenly I see sunshine and rainbows and unicorns" he said with a smile referring to the mural on the wall of the OB floor. He walked her to the babies and they stopped "And I find myself standing here looking at all these beautiful, healthy babies and I ask myself why my baby never made it here. Why she ended up through the dark doors into the dark corridor where the thing parents dread the most awaits…the NICU. She was my daughter for eight days that's all I knew about her, then admittedly I start getting angry at you because you didn't tell me and I didn't get those experiences like the scans, telling people, feeling the baby kick, hearing the heartbeat, possibly reading to the baby…you took that from me and I resent you…just a little. Then I remember I have Meredith and we have a future and in that future I'll get to have all those experiences I didn't get with Faith and one day I'll be stood here looking in at my baby, one of the healthy ones" Roxie began to well up "It doesn't mean I'll forget Faith, that she'll be a distant memory, she'll always be there in my head and in my heart and more so because she died here in this hospital where we both have to come everyday. I don't know that if Meredith gets pregnant that she'll not have a placental abruption at twenty five weeks and that I won't have to relive the whole Faith thing over again I can't state that it won't happen as a fact. I just have to keep going regardless and hope that it doesn't happen and Meredith a woman who has never been pregnant and who has never suffered a placental abruption has the same chance of a complication during pregnancy and child birth as you do. I know you're chances of another placental abruption are elevated and I can understand you're fear but they know this, it's on your chart, they know you're chances are elevated and they'll keep monitoring this throughout. I know it's scary but just for a second forget all your fears and worries and look at those healthy babies and just imagine what it will be like when in seven months you come to this very spot and see yours and Marks baby stretching away and crying and making the cutest little faces you've ever seen and of course your babies faces will be extra cute because this babies going to have your genes…shame about Marks" Roxie smiled "but what can you do about it" he joked "Roxie I know you're terrified right now and Baby C probably isn't helping ease your fears right now but there is no reason you cannot have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby, none whatsoever. Why are you trying to take this opportunity away from you and Mark? This is what you both want"

Roxie and Derek stood a little longer looking at the babies and talking.

LATER – OUTSIDE THE SCRUB ROOM

Roxie stood waiting for Mark who was scrubbing out of surgery. The door opened and Mark appeared and Roxie looked over at him. He smiled as he noticed her and walked over to her kissing her softly on the lips. As they parted Roxie sighed and stared in Mark's chest unable to look him in the eyes.

"I need to talk to you"

"Ok what's up?"

"Not here"

Mark and Roxie walked into the conference room and she asked Mark to sit down.

"What's this about?" asked Mark

"Oh God" said Roxie under her breath

"You're breaking up with me?"

"No, that's not it"

"Then what?"

Roxie stared at Mark and fought her urges to just say nothing and carry on with the termination without ever telling him. She decided she just had to say it.

"I'm pregnant"

Mark sat dumbfounded for a moment "Hunts?"

Roxie snapped out of her pitiful daze and looked at him "No! I'm pregnant with 'your' baby; with…'our' baby" Roxie suddenly realised Derek was right this is what they both wanted. What they had yearned for all through her pregnancy with Faith. She looked at Mark "I'm scared, I'm really scared but I want this, I want this so much. I want you to want it because I need you, I need you to hold my hand and get me through this because I can't do this alone"

Mark was still sat dumbfounded by the news "You're having my baby?" he asked

"Yes definitely without a shadow of a doubt"

Mark stood up and looked at Roxie and he smiled and picked her up and spun her around kissing her passionately as she was descended.

"I love you" he said as their lips parted

"I love you too"

"I can come back into the bed now right?"

"Yes" she said nodding "You can come back. I have to tell you Chan knows"

"Ok"

"And Derek"

"Well it's starting like the last one"

"Chan found out by accident and I needed somebody to talk to I was nervous, I still am but it didn't work I couldn't get Faith out of my head, I couldn't go through it again, I was scared and there's only two other people who know what I'm feeling and one was you so he told Derek in hopes that it would help"

"And it did?"

"No, I was going to talk to you about our options but I just realised this is 'our' baby and this is what we want and even though I'm scared I do want this and I know deep down we'll be fine. You just have to deal with the here and now for the next seven months"

"I can do that" he smiled as he leaned in and kissed Roxie

They both smiled and Mark hugged Roxie tight.


	49. Chapter 49

TWO WEEKS LATER

Mark and Roxie walked into the hospital together holding hands and smiling blissfully. They proceeded into the elevator and held hands and smiled at each other all the way to the surgical floor. The doors opened and they walked out ready to make their way to the locker room.

"Roxie" called Skye causing Roxie and Mark to stop and turn back "Can I talk to you please?"

"Err sure right now?"

"Yes"

"Ok" Roxie turned to Mark and kissed him softly and held onto his shirt and whispered to him "Remember not a word"

"Are you going to warn me every day?" he asked jokingly

"Yes" she said with a smile. She then turned to her friend and smiled "Ok what's up?" she asked as Mark walked away

"I've been sat thinking about Charlie's condition all night and I was thinking maybe a living donor could help, a partial transplant would ease his pain what do you think?"

"I think it's a waste of OR time, the scar tissue is just too extensive it wouldn't work"

"It wouldn't cure him but it might ease the pain right?"

"There's no guarantee of that especially in Charlie's case, like I said the scar tissue is extensive and accept for the fact two people having been waiting longer than him this making him number three on the UNOS list he is top priority for a transplant because his case is so severe. A living donor transplant would just put undue trauma on his already frail body and it's not justifiable because it wouldn't help him significantly"

"He needs relief, he needs someone to give him some good news"

"Being third on UNOS is good news and it's the best he's going to get until they move him up or find him a liver"

"John Doe is a match"

"He isn't a John Doe anymore Skye and whether a match or not he shouldn't feel obligated to give part of his liver to Charlie in an operation I wouldn't recommend anyway. Skye we're doing all we can for him"

"This is why I don't do general surgery because when someone really needs help we can't give it to them"

"Why are you so emotionally involved with this case?" asked Roxie

"He's a nice guy and he's dying"

"A lot of nice people come into this hospital that are dying and you've never taken an interest like this"

"I don't know maybe it's because I'm too close because he's still my patient until his hand heals, I'm seeing it everyday, I'm seeing him getting worse"

"Please tell me that's all it is Skye" Roxie looked at her friend and she instantly knew Skye had feelings for Charlie that were deeper than that of a doctor/patient relationship

"I'm going to keep reading and try and find something"

"Skye there is nothing, our job now is to keep him alive and comfortable until he gets a liver"

"That's not good enough he deserves a miracle Rox" Skye then walked away from her friend who stood worried about Skye and her involvement with Charlie

LATER

Interns, residents and attendings stood huddled by the nurses station as Roxie walked in she gave them all a bewildered look wondering what the congregation was about.

"What's going on?"

"Angela named the babies"

"She has?" asked Roxie

"Yeah Baby A is now George" said O'Malley proudly

"Baby B is now Channing" smiled Chan "Baby C is now Derek" continued Chan as Derek approached

"Did I just hear that right?" asked Derek

"Yeah you did" replied Roxie in shock

"Baby D is named Erica" said Meredith

"After Hahn?" asked Derek and Roxie simultaneously Meredith nodding to confirm

"Baby E has the best name ever" smiled Izzie

"Isobel?" asked Roxie

"Yep" she said her grin getting wider

"And let me guess Baby F is now named Roxanne?" asked Derek

"That's right" said Chan

"That's a little corny" said Roxie

"It's a compliment Rox, she said she wanted her children to know who the people were that they had to thank for making it into the world safely"

"She couldn't have wrote a list?"

"Be happy" smiled Mark

"I am and it's nice of her but I hate my name why would she give it to her kid?"

"You helped save her child's life she doesn't care what you're name is she just wants to celebrate you" said Chan

Roxie rolled her eyes and felt for Baby F or little Roxie.

LATER IN CHARLIES ROOM

Skye walked into Charlie's room and his eyes opened slowly a smile appearing as he focused on Skye realising she was there.

"How are you feeling?"

"Don't you ever work?" he asked jokingly

"I'm just checking in on you"

"I'm ok"

"No you're not but don't worry I'm looking into this we're going to find a way to make you feel better"

"Thank you" he said solemnly the Irish fire no longer present in his eyes

Skye sat on the edge of the bed and held his hand as Roxie approached the nurses station and caught a glimpse of them together this confirming that her friend did indeed have feelings for Charlie.

A Little While Later

Mark approached Roxie along with Chan. Roxie turned and smiled at him.

"Hi" she said wondering why they were both there

"You're eleven weeks now and you haven't had a scan" stated Mark

"I've just been busy I'm going to schedule one later"

"No you're going to have one right now"

Chan then smiled at her "Once its done its done" he said knowing it was fear stopping her from having the scan and Roxie suddenly felt like she was being ambushed.

A Little While Later

Roxie was laid waiting for Chan to get the picture, her heart was pounding hard as she waited for some news from her friend. She then saw a smile creep on his face.

"Wow there's your baby" he said turning the screen towards Roxie who looked at the baby in disbelief Mark who was attending his first scan smiled gleefully as Chan did his checks

"That's amazing" he said holding Roxie's hand and staring contently at the monitor

"Ok everything is good, I can't see any problems with your baby" Chan smiled at Roxie and could see her stress fade away as she looked at her second chance "A perfectly healthy baby at eleven weeks, I'll run you off some pictures and give you a minute" Chan then left the room

Roxie continued to stare at the monitor and Mark stared at Roxie "Do you feel better now?"

"Not until I'm holding that baby in my arms and I know for sure that its ok"

"Chan just said the baby was healthy"

"They said Faith was healthy"

"Roxie you worrying about something that may not even be an issue it's not going to help this baby"

"And pretending that everything is going to be fine isn't going to help me if that something does happen. I'm sorry Mark but I need to be prepared"

Mark knew her fears weren't going to disappear overnight and all he could hope was that as the pregnancy progressed her tensions would ease. Mark kissed Roxie's hand and smiled as he looked at the monitor seeing his child for the first time.

A FEW DAYS LATER

Roxie knew that as her twelve week mark approached that Mark would find it impossible to keep his mouth shut about the pregnancy so Roxie had to break the news to Skye before she found out from anyone else. Roxie knew she'd find Skye in either Charlie's room or reading up about cirrhosis. Roxie put her head around the door to see Skye sat with books around her all opened to pages referring to cirrhosis, liver failure, preventatives and outcomes.

"Hey"

Skye looked up from her book and smiled at Roxie "Hi I think I may have an idea for Charlie"

"No" said Roxie cutting Skye off "No I need to talk to you first"

"Ok" replied Skye seeing that Roxie was desperate to talk to her

"I have some news and I needed to tell you first before you found out from somebody else"

"Oh my God what is it?" she asked fearing the worst

"I'm…well…" Roxie took a deep breath it wasn't that she was afraid to tell Skye or afraid of her reaction it just meant that by telling her it was real and that scared her "…I"

"Roxie you're scaring me"

"I'm scared too" she admitted panicking her friend even more

"Rox?"

"I'm pregnant, three months and I'm terrified"

"Oh my God" the two women sat silent for a moment "How do I react?" asked Skye not sure whether the news was good or bad

"Chan knows, Derek knows, Mark knows…It's definitely Marks and we had the scan last week. I want this but I'm so scared"

"I know you are" she said completely understanding why her friend was sceptical about the pregnancy she moved forward and hugged her friend

As Skye comforted her friend their pagers went off simultaneously. They parted and each looked at their pagers and saw the 911 call to the ER.

"Are you going to be ok?" asked Skye. Roxie nodded "Congratulations sweetie, you deserve this happiness"

Skye and Roxie then stood up and made their way to the pit. They joined the other doctors in the ER as Hunt ran off the details.

"We've got a two car collision, ten victims in total, five in one car, four in the other and a pedestrian. ETA three minutes out, don't go hunting specialities take the patient that rolls out to you, assess and assign the appropriate attending. Residents that means…Yang" he said cutting off Yang who was talking instead of listening "…there will be no case calling, if you're dealing with a case you stick with it, that means even if the case next door looks more appealing and is more to your liking, tough, there will be no swapping cases. This ER deals with the patients first not the residents and interns preferences. Do I make myself clear?" he asked he walked outside followed by the residents, interns and attendings the sirens getting closer.

The ambulances pulled up and doors flung open as doctors assigned themselves to the cases.

"Rob Crow, 45, was driving one of the cars with his three children in the back, on initial assessment has a compressed head trauma on route suffered a heart attack"

"Heart attack? Rob? Rob? Is he ok? That's my husband is he ok?" screamed a woman being rolled out of another ambulance

"I thought you said he was with his kids?" asked Roxie

"He was there were only four in the car" replied the EMT

"Kathryn Crow, 38, was hit by an oncoming vehicle presents with abdominal trauma, head wound and deep lacerations"

"My husband?"

Roxie walked over to the woman "She was the pedestrian?" asked Roxie the EMT nodded and Roxie looked at the woman "Ma'am your husband suffered a heart attack on route and they're taking him inside right now and the blonde over there following him in" she said pointing at Hahn "That's the head of cardio, she's the best and she's going to be looking after your husband"

"You'll let me know everything right?"

"Mommy!" screamed a girl as she rolled hysterically out of the ambulance

Kathryn turned in the direction of the screaming girl "Maisie? Maisie baby its Mommy. Why is she here? Oh my God were my children in the car?" screamed Kathryn hysterically as she realised the possibility "Maisie baby are you ok?"

"Lukie!" screamed the little girl

"Hey kid, kid you have to stop moving, what's her name?" asked Karev looking at the EMT

"Maisie!" screamed Kathryn

"Maisie? Is that your name?" the little girl nodded "Ok Maisie my names Alex I need to make sure that you're not hurt"

"I'm not hurt I just want Lukie"

"Lukie? Who's Lukie?"

"My dog he ran away when all the noisy trucks came"

"Lukie's your dog?"

"He's big and brown and he has floppy ears and a red collar. You have to find him"

"Maisie I'm a doctor it's my job to make sure you're not hurting or injured but I will call someone to go and look for your dog ok? But right now you have to come inside with me and let me take some pictures of your insides"

"Not until someone finds Lukie"

Karev sighed "Just take her inside" Karev walked over to Roxie "Dr Leoni I have a kid she says she isn't hurt and is refusing to stay still for an examination until someone finds her dog"

"Her dog?" asked Roxie looking at Karev

"Lukie, she loves that dog"

"She's your kid?" asked Karev

"Yeah her name's Maisie she's five"

"How do I get her to co-operate?"

"Find the dog" said Kathryn before she was rolled inside

"Just find the dog" said Karev to himself

Cristina along with Hunt waited for the door to open and the gurney was rolled out.

"John Doe, coded on route has been down for approximately fifteen minutes"

"Yang take him inside and I'll follow you in" Yang proceeded with the patient taking him inside.

ACROSS THE YARD

Meredith and Hunt stood waiting and the doors opened with the EMT calling off the patients condition.

"John Samson, 23, presents with tib/fib fracture and fractured forearm"

"McKenzie!" called Hunt but Skye didn't appear "Where's McKenzie?" he asked Meredith

"I don't know she was paged"

"Ok Torres take this one and somebody find McKenzie"

"Hey doc, when I was a kid I broke my left arm and it killed like hell" he said talking to Torres

"Well Mr Samson I can't promise you this isn't going to hurt like hell but I can promise you you're in the best hands"

"Oh no that's not the problem, I just thought with a broken leg and all it would hurt as much as the arm is right now"

"Your leg doesn't hurt?" asked Meredith

"No I thought I was in shock or something but the arm that hurts and my leg still doesn't, so I thought it was worth mentioning"

Meredith and Callie looked at each other "Dr Shepherd" called Callie. Derek immediately responded after dealing with the head wound of another patient

"This is Mr Samson he presents with a fractured tib/fib"

"Ok not really my area Dr Torres"

"He's not in any pain" she added catching Derek's attention

"Mr Samson I'm Dr Shepherd so you're not in any pain at all with your leg"

"No"

"Ok can you feel this?" asked Derek putting the tip of his pen on the sole of the patients foot

"Feel what?"

"You didn't feel that?" asked Meredith

"What's happening?" asked the patient as he panicked

"He needs immobilising, then give him methylprednisone, then get x-rays and a CT and page me"

"What about his leg?" asked Torres

"Do what you can with minimal movement his leg cannot be elevated"

Derek then walked away leaving Torres and Meredith behind to deal with the case.

Across the bay ambulance doors flew open and a patient was wheeled out screaming.

"John Doe, early twenties…"

"John Doe?" asked Izzie

"He won't stop screaming long enough to tell us his name "Severed arm and minor lacerations"

"Dr Sloan" called Izzie

"What do we have?" he asked approaching

"Severed arm"

"Where's the arm?" asked Sloan

"They're looking for it" replied the EMT

Sloan looked at the cut "It's a clean cut so Stevens take him in, shut him up, get his details, clean the wound and find me that arm" Sloan then walked away

IN THE ER

Mark and Roxie crossed paths as Roxie greeted a gurney at the door.

"What have we got?" asked Roxie

"Sara Crow, 13, abdominal tenderness, stomachs distended and she is refusing my help" said O'Malley

"Hi Sara I'm Dr Leoni, I need to examine you"

"I don't want him to be my doctor"

"Ok"

"I want a female doctor"

"O'Malley go find me a female resident"

Roxie moved along with the gurney which was wheeled into a trauma room.

"Sara!" screamed Kathryn as she saw her daughter in the next room

"Close the blinds please"

The blinds were closed as the door opened and Meredith appeared "George said you needed me"

"This is Sara she would like female doctors and George is…"

"Ahh right ok" smiled Meredith as she walked over to the patient

"Right Sara I need to do an exam now" said Roxie

"Wait I need to tell you something first. I'm pregnant"

"You're pregnant?" asked Roxie

"Please don't tell my Mom"

Roxie looked at Meredith and realised this was going to be an emotional case.


	50. Chapter 50

LATER

Roxie stood outside the room with Chan looking in at Sara the thirteen year old who had just revealed she was pregnant.

"So she doesn't want any male doctors? She's pregnant and she's thirteen? Ok well I'll get a female OB down here"

"What do I do about her parents?"

"Unfortunately doctor-patient confidentiality doesn't allow you tell her parents"

"She's thirteen"

"She still has rights, I know it sucks and her parents should know but unless she gives her consent you can't tell her parents"

"What if something medical comes up and I require her parents consent surely I can tell them then?"

"There's a line, if the medical condition is a threat to the baby then yes you may have the right to tell them but if it's not harmful directly to the baby then no you ask for consent for their child, not Sara's"

"If my thirteen year old daughter were pregnant I would be livid that the doctors didn't tell me"

"You want off this case?" asked Chan

"No I'm fine I just don't agree with it"

"I'll send another OB down"

"Thanks"

Roxie walked back into the room and looked at the child before her.

"Sara I need to discuss something with you"

"I'm not telling my parents and I know you can't"

"Sara if something were to happen to you here today and we found that you required surgery or something and it was harmful to the baby I would have to tell your parents and I shouldn't be the one to break it to them"

"Is there something wrong with me?"

"I don't know, Dr Tatum is sending another OB down and she'll check the babies health then I can proceed to check yours"

"Ok well if there is something to be concerned about then I will speak with my parents but not until I have to"

"What was your plan? Just out of curiosity, have the baby in secret? Put the baby up for adoption? Dump the baby?"

Before Sara could answer the door opened and the OB walked in.

"Hi Sara my name is Dr Saunders and I'm here to check on Mom and baby she said sitting down. Am I ok to proceed?"

Sara nodded and Dr Saunders began her examination.

A Little While Later

The door opened to the room and Meredith walked in to find Roxie working on another case.

"Dr Leoni, Dr Saunders has asked to speak with you"

"Two minutes Grey" she said as she continued the ultrasound on her patient "Ok we have internal bleeding, we need to get an OR. Page me when we have one" said Roxie walking out of the room and over to Dr Saunders

"She has vaginal bleeding, the baby is in a lot of distress, she is also bleeding internally most likely a cause of impact. I have to deliver this baby here today or both of them will die"

"How far along is she?"

"Twenty eight weeks at the most"

"I get to tell her parents now right?"

"Yes you can because consent is required for their daughter to undergo this c-section but if they don't give consent I can take her as a medical emergency"

"Do you need me to scrub in?"

"Yes I'll need you to control the internal bleeding as I help the baby"

"Dr Leoni the other patient?" Meredith reminded her

"Ok Grey send Bailey into Miss Pawson's surgery tell her I have to stay with Sara Crow's case and I send my apologies. Then I'll go with you to talk to Sara then we'll go to see her Mom"

"What about her Dad?"

"Her Dad is the OR with Dr Hahn he suffered a heart attack, she also has two other children here today, a younger daughter who to my knowledge is fine and another child I haven't heard about yet, so this is going to be huge for her"

"Ok lets go see Sara"

The two doctors returned to Sara's room and approached the patient.

"Sara remember I said if something medical came up that put the baby at risk I would have no option but to tell your parents about the pregnancy?"

"Yeah?"

"You're bleeding internally, this is from the accident, it's causing your body a lot of trauma and stress which your baby is detecting and therefore that puts the baby at risk. Also Dr Saunders noticed vaginal bleeding which means the baby is in distress and unfortunately we can't do anything for it which means we are going to have to deliver your baby today"

"Wait no I'm not nine months"

"No you're seven months which means this baby will be premature that plus the trauma means the baby will need a lot of help during the birth and after the birth"

Roxie saw the fear on the little girls face "You need to tell your Mom, I'll be there with you if you want me to, I'll even break the news to her if you feel you can't"

"Is my baby going to die?"

"We don't know" said Dr Saunders as she noticed Roxie struggling to answer

"The sooner we get you into the OR the better for both of you. You need to tell you Mom now or we will have to take you to the OR and tell her ourselves"

A Little While Later

The door opened to Sara's room and Kathryn was wheeled in and she cried as she saw her daughter on the bed.

"Oh thank God you're ok they won't let me see Ryan but you and Maisie you're ok"

"Mom I need to tell you something"

"What? Oh my God what? Is she ok?" Kathryn asked the doctors

Roxie could see Sara struggling and took her hand and smiled

"Mrs Crow this is going to be a shock and if it were possible we would wait until after your husbands surgery and after news of your son had come but unfortunately we don't have that time. Mrs Crow Sara's pregnant"

Kathryn shook her head and looked at the people in front of her completely stunned by the news.

"No not my daughter, no not Sara, not my daughter"

"Mrs Crow, I know this is hard to take in but Sara is pregnant, she's twenty eight weeks and due to the accident her body has sustained immense trauma causing a lot of distress for the baby and unfortunately there is no other option but to deliver the baby, if we don't both mother and child will die"

"No she's not pregnant"

"We need your consent to take Sara into the OR but Mrs Crow even if you say no she's going to the OR because she needs this operation. We just thought you deserved to know"

"If she's pregnant then she's not my daughter"

"Ok can you take Mrs Crow back please"

Roxie looked at Sara who sat dumbfounded stunned by her mothers harsh words.

"She's just upset there's a lot happening today. Ok lets get you prepped"

A Few Moment Later

Roxie saw Hunt and shouted after him causing him to turn back and approach her.

"Is there anything on the son?"

"He has a broken leg, broken ribs a punctured lung. McKenzie's taking him into surgery"

"Ok well does his Mom know?"

"No"

"Can you go tell her please she's having a hard time"

"Yeah sure, I have to go now I have a patient"

"Okay well thank you"

Cristina walked out of the room before Hunt arrived.

"John Doe's back but there's no way he's coming back from this he was down for too long" she said as Skye arrived in the ER

Hunt sighed with frustration "Ok call neuro to check brain activity once that's been done page me and go help Karev with the little girl in the meantime"

"Ok" said an upset Cristina who was hoping for some OR time

"Where have you been?" Hunt asked Skye as she continued to walk into the ER

"I was busy with a patient"

"911's take priority" he said before walking away

He walked towards Roxie and she could see the anger on his face.

"Hey are you ok?"

"I'm fine"

"No you're not"

"I'm fine honest"

Roxie didn't push it anymore as she could tell he didn't want to talk "Ok" she replied letting it go. Hunt started to walk away and stopped turning back to Roxie.

"Congratulations…" said Hunt causing Roxie to look at him "…I heard you were…" he said pointing at her stomach

"Yeah"

"Again congratulations" he said smiling before he turned to leave

Roxie shook it off and made her way to the surgical floor to get prepared for Sara's surgery as she walked through the door she saw Mark in cap and gown and approached him.

"You're telling people?"

"No"

"Then how does Hunt know?"

"I don't know"

"Well he does"

"Well I didn't tell him and anyway why can't we?"

"I don't have time for this I have a surgery"

"So do I" he snapped going through the doors to attend his surgery

IN THE ER

Karev was stood with his arms folded staring at Maisie who was refusing treatment until her dog is found. Cristina returned and looked at Karev and then at Maisie and sighed with frustration and Cristina broke the silence.

"This is ridiculous, I'm a talented surgeon and I'm stood here being controlled by a tater tot"

"We need to get the dog back" said Karev

"Oh and how are going to do that? Shall we start a search party?"

"There's has to be a way"

"Or an obligation" smiled Cristina as she saw a fire fighter walk into the ER holding the missing limb. She walked over to the fire fighter. "You found the arm?"

"I was told to hand this to a Dr Stevens"

"Yeah she's here somewhere umm can I speak to you? Yeah over here" she said pulling him over to Maisie

"This here is Maisie and she was involved in the accident"

"Yeah I remember you" he said smiling at Maisie

"She is refusing medical treatment"

"How come?"

"Because of her dog, apparently the big noisy trucks scared the dog and it bolted and until the dogs found Maisie is refusing help and although she seems to be fine we don't know the internal situation so you need to help us"

"Help you?"

"Find the dog"

"You want us to look for a dog?"

"You looked for the arm"

"Somebody needs this arm reattaching to their body"

"And without it he won't get a fully functioning arm and without the dog she will not get the medical attention she requires"

"Come over here" said the fire fighter walking away followed by Cristina

"I can't put my guys out there looking for a dog while there are real emergencies"

"I thought you couldn't turn your back on any species in danger"

"We don't know that he is"

"We don't know that he isn't"

"I can't do it"

Cristina sighed "Ok well at least tell her you will and encourage her to get checked out then I'll call someone who will look for the dog"

The fire fighter looked at Cristina and then at Maisie and walked over to her. He sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Remember I said I was going to get you out safely?" Maisie nodded "And you made me promise?" Maisie nodded again "Well I'll make you a promise right now if you make me one?"

"What?"

"Well I promise to send people out to look for your dog, I promise they'll do everything to find him but only if you promise me that you'll let the doctors take pictures of your insides"

"What if you don't find him?"

"What if I do and I bring him back here but because you haven't let the doctors take care of you, you can't play with him"

"Why wouldn't I be able to play with him?"

"Because these doctors aren't going to let you leave the hospital until they make sure you're ok and dogs aren't allowed in the hospital so he'll have to sit outside all by himself. If you get the pictures taken and let the doctors check you then he might be here waiting when the doctors send you home"

"Ok" smiled Maisie

"Good girl" said the fire fighter walking away

"Hey fire fighter man wait"

"Shae my name is Shae"

"Ok Shae" said Cristina approaching him "You just told her that her dogs going to be there waiting for her what if the dog isn't found?"

"I said he might be not that he would"

"Yeah and you also said you would do everything to find him"

"I know but I didn't say I would find him, those words never passed my lips"

"Oh that's wrong"

"My arm! Thank God" said Izzie taking the arm from Shae

"I'll get animal control to go look for the dog no promises though so prepare yourself to break the news to her"

Shae then left the ER and Cristina returned to a hopeful Maisie who was ready for the doctors to check her out.

THE OR

The door opened and Meredith walked in and made her presence known.

"Dr Leoni I was just wondering if I was needed on this case or if I was able to return to Dr Shepherds case?"

"I heard he has a severed spinal cord" said Roxie

"Suspected"

"Yeah go, learn"

"Thank you"

"That was nice of you" said Dr Saunders

"Yeah well severed spinal cords aren't everyday occurrences she should see it"

"Doctor the babies heart rate is slowing" said an intern watching the fetal monitor

"Damn it" said Roxie

"What?"

"She's haemorrhaging, plenty of suction, gauze now" ordered Roxie as they fought for Sara and the babies life.

ELSEWHERE

Meredith walked into the patients room where she found Shepherd, Torres and O'Malley discussing the outcome of the tests. As they heard the door they turned to see Meredith.

"Leoni let me off the case so I was hoping I could come back on your case"

"Ok" smiled Derek "We were just talking about the best way to deal with this"

"Well what's wrong with him?" asked Meredith

"Compression on the spinal cord caused by misalignment of vertebrae and also a herniated intervertebral disc"

"So you're going to remove the herniated disc and realign the vertebrae and fuse the spinal column?"

"Yes" smiled Derek at Meredith's accuracy

Meredith smiled back and was thankful to be back on such an amazing case.

LATER

Hunt walked into John Doe's room where he spoke with the neurosurgeon who confirmed there was no brain activity. Hunt sighed as Cristina stood outside and looked on knowing the news wasn't good. The neuro guy left the room and Cristina walked inside.

"His names Simon Winters, they found his wallet with his driving license in"

"Ok is he…"

"A donor? Yeah" said Cristina finishing his sentence

"Call the next of kin" ordered Hunt as he left the room

LATER

Bailey wiped her surgery off the board and approached the nurses station and filled in the patients chart.

"Congratulations Dr Bailey on a very successful surgery" said the chief

"Thank you chief" she replied as he walked away

Derek approached Bailey and handed over his patients chart.

"So how did your surgery go?" asked Derek

"Excellent the patient is in recovery"

"Fantastic"

"And how many pots do you have your hand in?"

"I have three in for overnight observation and I have one surgery which I'm about to scrub in for so if you'll excuse me" Derek then walked away

Hahn walked through the door looking exhausted after her operation on Mr Crow.

"Is he ok?"

"For now yes" she said walking straight past Bailey in search of an on call room to rest

LATER IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM

Hunt and Cristina were sat with the family of Simon Winters.

"We're so sorry about your loss" said Hunt

"So he died instantly?" asked his mother

"An autopsy would have to be done to determine the exact cause of his death but he was unconscious by the time the emergency services arrived and they tried to revive him on route for fifteen minutes once he arrived here the staff continued with CPR and we were able to get a stable rhythm but unfortunately Simon was unconscious for such a long time that his body didn't get the sufficient amount of oxygen it needed and he was confirmed…"

"Brain dead?" asked his mother

Hunt nodded "I'm very sorry"

A knock came at the door and Skye walked into the room

"I'm sorry to interrupt I was wondering if I could speak with the family"

"Why?" asked Cristina wondering why she was here when she'd never seen the victim

"Mr and Mrs Winters my name is Dr McKenzie and I am so sorry for your loss, my condolences"

"Thank you"

"I hope that I don't offend you with what I have to say next but on your sons driving license it state's that he's an organ donor"

His mother nodded "He is, his grandfather died of heart failure, we're all donors"

"Then you know what I'm going to say?"

"Yes and we will sign all the appropriate forms"

"Thank you"

"Dr McKenzie can I see you outside please?" said Hunt

Hunt walked over to the door and held it open for Skye who walked through and waited for Hunt.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked furiously

"I'm saving lives"

"They have just lost their son, what if they didn't know he was a donor, what if this was the first they'd heard about it and they weren't so understanding you came into that room to beg for organs. That is crass and unprofessional and I do not want you back in that room. Oh and don't worry I'll be telling the chief about this"

"About me saving lives?"

"About you poaching organs" Hunt then walked back into the room

LATER

The chief was walking down the corridor when he heard shouting from behind he turned to see Skye running towards him.

"McKenzie what is it?"

"The harvest, have the organs been designated?"

"UNOS is working it out why?"

"Charlie Callahan he'll get the liver right? He's priority and he's right here in the hospital and he's a match"

"I couldn't possibly say if the two before him on the list are matches and are in more severe circumstances or have been waiting longer then I'm afraid Charlie will miss out this time"

"He's dying"

"And so are the two people in front of him on the list, I'm sorry Skye but this is UNOS decision"

The chief walked away and Skye had to find out who was getting the liver.


	51. Chapter 51

IN THE ER

Hunt walked into Mrs Crow's room and she sat on the edge of her bed waiting for news on her family.

"Your husband has just come out of surgery and is now in recovery. Your son suffered a broken leg, some broken ribs and a punctured lung but he is doing fine. He's in surgery at the moment Dr McKenzie is stabilising his ribs to relieve the pressure on his lungs which will help him breathe easier when he wakes up"

"Thank God"

"Now I need to check you"

"I've been checked over I'm fine I just had some cuts they stitched them up real good, I'm just sitting here now"

"Mrs Crow that was an initial exam not a thorough one, I have to check you over, I need to do my job"

Kathryn reluctantly agreed and she moved back onto the bed and laid down.

"I'm going to check your abdomen" he said putting pressure on her stomach "Does this hurt?"

"No"

"This?" he asked moving up causing her to flinch slightly "That hurt? Can I take a look please?"

"No" she said sternly

"Mrs Crow there could be something wrong, I have to check"

"I'm fine"

"Maisie is asking for you but I am not going to bring her in here until I know you're fine because the last thing that little girl needs is to see her mother writhing in pain"

Kathryn's desire to see her daughter overtook her fear of Hunt examining her and she let him proceed as he lifted her shirt he saw bruising on her ribs.

"Your ribs are bruised"

"That'll be the pain I was having then"

"How did you do this?" asked Hunt

"I was just hit by a car"

"Yeah you were and you have some beautiful bruises from that big deep purples ones these however are yellowing which means this is an old injury like the bruise on your forehead" he said pointing to it letting her know he'd noticed it "And in the notes made by the doctor who examined you initially he states older bruises and cuts apparent on your wrists, shoulders and thighs"

"I'm accident prone what can I say"

"They're symbolic of pressure points, the cuts and grazes you have are caused by blunt trauma, that being hit by an object" Kathryn knew where Hunt was going with his assumptions but remained silent "How did it occur that your husband hit you with his car in the middle of the street no where near your home with your three kids in the car?"

"It was a freak accident he was pulling over to give me a lift and he lost control"

"He must have been pulling over at one of hell of a speed to cause the injuries he has to the people he has including your daughter and son and five victims in the other car one of whom has died"

"Oh my God" said Kathryn to the news

"Kathryn you can talk to me" said Hunt pulling a chair up by the bed and sitting down next to her.

LATER

Roxie stood alone in the scrub room after the surgery and she began to breathe deeply unable to breathe rhythmically as she began to feel like she was the grim reaper of paediatrics. First Faith dying, then baby Derek needing heart surgery and now she had just helped deliver the baby of a thirteen year old girl who had been through so much trauma and had been deprived of so much oxygen it was uncertain whether the newborn baby girl would ever wake up. Just then the door opened and Hunt appeared.

"The husband, he's beating Kathryn up. She has contusions, abrasions and lacerations and first degree burns all over her body, she's had several broken ribs which she's recovering from. Earlier today they had another argument this time she walked out and he loaded the car up with the kids and went to find her and when he did…"

"…he tried to kill her?" asked Roxie for clarification as she turned around to reveal she'd been crying

"Hey are you ok?" asked Hunt concerned

"Yeah I'm fine"

"You've been crying" he said stepping forward and wiping away a stray tear

"Sara's baby she may not wake up, I just feel…never mind. What are you going to do about all of this?"

"I've called social services; she's agreed to talk to the police"

"That's good"

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah I'll be fine. Have you heard anything on the son?"

"He's just got out of surgery apparently he's fine"

"That's good news does Kathryn know?"

"No I'm on my way to tell her I just thought you should be informed of all of this"

"Thanks"

Hunt smiled at Roxie and left the room.

LATER OUTSIDE THE HOSPITAL

Roxie sat on a bench thinking about everything that was happening to the Crow family, the people in the other car, the Winters family, Sara's baby and what was going through Skye's head that she would be so desperate to get a hold of the liver. She lowered her head and sighed with frustration as she sat alone and sombre she was startled as she felt something on her hand. She jumped and screamed as she came face to face with a big, brown, floppy eared dog with a red collar.

"Hey there" she said stroking the dog. She looked at the collar and saw it said 'Lukie' and she smiled. "You're her dog? Is that why you're here for Maisie? You're a clever dog. Ok you can't come in but I can bring Maisie to you she'll be so happy" said Roxie walking the dog to the door and tying him up before she walked inside

"Dr Leoni Sara's baby is crashing" said an intern as she walked through the door

Roxie rushed to the NICU just in time to see them revive the baby. Saunders walked out of the room.

"That was a close one"

"Is she ok?"

"She's alive we're waiting on a neuro consult"

"She's not going to wake up is she?"

"You don't know that" said Saunders

"I know this place, nothing good happens here"

"What about the sextuplets?" she said pointing to them

"See the third one over from Mom. He has a heart problem I operated on him when he was four days old. They may be a miracle but its not without a lot of bad stuff"

"There has to be good and bad to even it out"

"Yeah but why do brand new little babies have to go through the bad. They've done nothing wrong, they're truly innocent they don't deserve it"

Roxie walked away from the NICU once more wondering when her time with sick babies would come to an end.

LATER AT CHARLIES ROOM

Roxie walked to the door of Charlie's room where she found Skye sitting in the dark she tapped on the window and called Skye out of the room.

"What are you doing?" asked Roxie

"I don't know" she answered honestly "I don't know what I'm doing. I like him and I can't just sit here and watch him die"

"A few weeks ago you loved Chan and you were marrying him and now you're in love with the Irish bar room brawler?"

"I didn't say I was in love this isn't about anything to do with love or a relationship, he's just a sincerely nice guy"

"Who was a drunk Skye!"

"You threw Chan away because he innocently got an addiction problem to a very addictive prescription drug. You couldn't put your faith in him because your alcoholic father let you down and now you're here poaching organs to save the life of an alcoholic stranger who shows you a bit of attention"

"Rox…" Skye began to well up "…I can't explain it"

"I can, you couldn't save your Daddy so you're going to save him. And Chan you couldn't stand by him because if he failed you it would have hit like a ton of bricks because you do love him. There's nothing there between you and Charlie he's just a project, and I feel sorry for you because while you're here doing this you're pushing Chan further away"

Roxie walked away from Skye leaving her more confused than ever wondering if what her friend had said was right.

OUTSIDE THE OR – THE HARVEST

Roxie and Meredith walked up to the chief who had them paged.

"Hey chief what's up?" asked Roxie

"One of the patients in front of Charlie on the UNOS list passed away yesterday morning"

"Oh…"

"This means Charlie's now second on the list, UNOS is re-evaluating the situation. Is there anything that could get Charlie the liver?"

"Such as?"

"Deterioration since he was last updated on the list"

"He's just getting frailer chief but if this guys been on the list longer than Charlie I'm guessing he's worse off"

"Chief UNOS is on the phone" said a nurse

"I'll take it in the conference room"

Minutes Later

Roxie and Meredith joined the chief as he talked with UNOS about the liver while Skye stood outside eager to know who it was going to.

"You heard that" said the chief hanging up the phone

"Yeah…ok"

"So he doesn't get the liver?" asked Meredith

"No not this time but the good news is he's now at the top of the list"

"That's good news?" asked Meredith before walking out of the room

Roxie turned to leave and caught a glimpse of Skye outside, Skye could tell by the look on her face that the liver wasn't Charlie's and she walked away.

LATER – IN THE ER

Karev and Cristina pushed Maisie back into the ER after testing her for everything possible.

"Well?" asked Maisie

"Well what?" asked Cristina

"He said my dog would be here"

"Technically he didn't say that" replied Cristina

"So where's Lukie?" she asked saddened

"I don't…"

"We'll call the fire fighter up and ask him if he's had any luck" said Karev

Karev and Cristina walked away "Oh we will, will we?"

"We can't just crush her dreams like that and tell her that the dogs snuffed it or isn't coming back"

"So you're going to lie to her?"

"No I'm going to prolong it in hopes they find him"

"Oh come on that dog has gone you know it and I know it. What are you expecting Alex that the dog will just turn up here and tie himself up outside and wait patiently? That's pathetic even for you"

Cristina then walked away frustrated with her case and the day in general and she stepped outside for some fresh air. She took the fresh air in as she stood with her eyes closed. Suddenly she heard a dog bark and opened her eyes to see Lukie tied to the bench.

"No freakin' way" said Cristina to herself "You didn't come here by yourself and tie yourself to the bench right?" Cristina asked the dog as she realised what she had just said to Karev had actually come true.

Moments Later

Karev and Cristina walked outside with Maisie who wrapped her arms around the dog and cuddled him thankful he was back in her life.

LATER – IN THE ON CALL ROOM

Roxie sat on the bottom bunk still thinking about everything that had happened in the day. The door opened and Mark walked in to see Roxie sat alone in the dark.

"Hey are you ok?" he asked

"Yeah just a long day"

"I heard about that girls baby, I'm sorry"

"Thanks" she sighed

"Something else is bothering you"

"It's nothing I'm going to do some work, my heads too busy to sleep"

"Ok" he said as he watched her leave

Roxie walked out of the room and straight into Derek.

"Hey"

"Hi" she replied

"I'm sorry about the Crow baby it's a shame that things worked out the way they did, have you spoken to Sara about her options?"

"What?"

"You know bringing the baby off life support"

"You did the neuro exam?"

"Not personally no but there has been one"

"The babies not waking up?"

"I'm afraid not no there's no brain activity"

"Oh my God" she said with shock "Oh my God" she said again this time getting angry as she walked away

Moments Later In The NICU

Roxie ran in to see Sara and Saunders stood beside her baby getting ready to bring the baby off life support.

"Wait" said Roxie as she ran across the room "How can you not tell me about the baby?"

"The baby isn't your patient"

"No the mother is, have you even given her, her options"

"Options?" asked Sara

"Sara I'm so sorry about your baby you have no idea how sorry. My daughter died in here too, they thought she was getting better and then she coded and they couldn't bring her back. It tears you apart, you don't know whether you did something bad to deserve it or if you failed your baby somehow, but you feel guilty and it's a horrible feeling to carry and right now this is the last thing you want to think about but it's one of the greatest gifts you and your daughter could ever give. Your daughter…"

"Eve"

"Eve…she's alive, she will never wake up but she is alive, she's warm and you can feel her heart beating. Unfortunately for you she can't be saved but you and Eve can save so many others. This little baby here" she said pointing to baby Derek "He was born with a sick heart and he had to have an operation when he was four days old so that I could make his heart work a little better but he's still very sick and he's going to be very sick until either his heart grows or until he receives a new heart"

"Would he get Eve's heart?" she asked knowing exactly what Roxie was suggesting

"Possibly but that's not why I'm asking I have faith in Derek and I believe he'll get through this by himself with a little help from me, but there are so many babies who need organs but they need paediatric organs not the ones we give to the grown ups and paediatric donors are very rare"

"I can't believe you're doing this she's thirteen and has just lost her baby" said Saunders

"I can't believe you can work in this department and not even bring up organ donation with Sara, Eve's body is perfectly healthy, and her organs are perfect for donation. I know this is bombarding at such a difficult time but why should she die in vain? She could save the lives of many children"

Roxie and Sara stood silent for a lingering moment before Sara spoke "Would your baby have been alive with a transplant?"

"No…my baby just couldn't fight anymore she was tired"

"I'm sorry about your baby"

"And I'm sorry about Eve"

"What was your babies name?"

"Faith"

"That's pretty. Did you donate her organs?"

"No we didn't it was a different situation she couldn't donate her organs but Eve she can"

"And what will happen if I say yes?"

"They'll take her to the OR and remove her organs and send them to where ever they need to go then they'll close her up"

"Will I see her after?"

"That's your choice"

"Did you see your baby?"

"No I couldn't do it but her Dad did, he was great he…it's your choice"

"Do you regret it?"

"No I don't but each persons different some people need to see them after death but I was raised to believe that when the heart stops the spirits released and that persons no longer there it's just an empty vessel"

"That's a little morbid" she said fighting back tears

"Yeah it is"

"I want to do it, she should do something with her life, she should save the lives of others. That's nice right?" she asked bursting into tears

"That's amazing" replied Roxie stepping forward and hugging Sara

"I hope your baby gets her heart" said Sara to Angela as she watched on

"Thank you" said Angela

"So what now?" asked Sara

"There's some papers you need to sign"

"Ok" she said looking at Eve and walking out of the room

"That was wrong" said Saunders

"No you letting those perfectly good organs die is wrong. You making the decision of whether those children waiting for organs get to live today is wrong. You are not God and do not get to make that decision"

"She's thirteen"

"And you're a doctor"

Saunders stormed out of the room and Roxie turned to see Sara waiting.

"You're her" said Angela getting Roxie's attention

"I'm sorry?"

"Derek he spoke of you when he was sitting with me he didn't tell me you were the mother. I didn't even know you were a couple"

"We're not!" stated Roxie as she began to walk away

"You did the right thing a lot of mothers are going to be sleeping better tonight because of you and that brave girl out there"

Roxie didn't look back and she continued to walk out of the room and to take Sara to sign the donation papers.

LATER – CHARLIE'S ROOM

Roxie walked into Charlie's room and sat down beside Skye.

"I'm sorry" she said

"Me too"

"I get it" said Roxie

"You get what?"

"Why you did what you did. You saw a chance and you dove at it. It didn't work out the way you wanted but you fought for it"

"Why the change of heart?"

"I just begged a thirteen year old mother to donate her daughter's organs"

"Thirteen?"

"It's been one case after another, kid after kid and I saw the chance to save baby Derek and I went for it. I don't know that he's even a match or if he'll get the heart but I couldn't not try and even if he doesn't get the heart some other kids going to but regardless I still begged a thirteen year old to make a grown up decision about her baby who isn't even a day old yet"

"Did you ever think this was happening on purpose? You getting all the paeds cases like it's forcing you to become one of them?"

"No why?"

"Was just thinking about what you said. Why am I so involved in this case? Is it because I like him? Is it because I think I can fix him? Or is it because I'm lonely and he flirted with me?"

"I'm going to guess a little of all three"

"Probably" she smiled "He will get a liver right?"

"He's first on the list"

Skye gave a stunned look "He was third?"

"Yeah one of the guys died yesterday and the other got the liver from the Winters guy"

"So he has a good chance of getting a liver then?"

"Yeah he does may not be soon but he's got a good chance yeah"

Roxie and Skye sat there in Charlie's room together just getting over the days events.


	52. Chapter 52

LATER

The chief walked down the corridor signing papers as he prepared for Eve's harvest.

"Two harvests in one day I don't know whether this is a good thing or bad thing for the hospital"

"Chief UNOS" said his secretary handing him the phone as he walked into the conference room.

"This is Chief Webber, yes, that's correct, ok, thank you" the chief hung up the phone and handed it to his secretary "Page them"

IN CHARLIE'S ROOM

Roxie's pager went off and she looked at it and immediately jumped up.

"I've got to go" she said running out of the room

Minutes Later

Roxie ran into the conference room where Chan was already stood with Hahn and the chief.

"Well?" asked Roxie

"Derek Decesare has the heart"

Roxie smiled "That's excellent"

"I assume you have never done a heart transplant?" asked Hahn

"No not personally" replied Roxie

"Then you can scrub in and assist me" she said walking out of the room

"He got the heart" smiled Roxie looking at Chan

"Congratulations" said the chief leaving the room

"I can't believe this" said Chan hugging Roxie excitedly

IN THE ER

Hunt walked into Kathryn's room along with the police hoping she was ready to tell them everything in order to protect her family.

IN AN OFFICE

Roxie walked inside an office pushing Sara and she sat down on a couch with Sara sat in the chair beside her and Dr Wyatt turned to see the girl before her.

"Dr Leoni?" she asked a little confused

"Psyche consults take forever and they'd probably send some half assed shrink down anyway. She needs the best so I brought her to see you. Sara this is Dr Wyatt she's my shrink she helped me after Faith died. When Faith died I dealt with it in my own which wasn't healthy and Dr Wyatt helped me deal with it the right way, I'm now an emotional basket case but it's getting easier now. When my daughter died I wouldn't have been able to be your doctor to help your baby or to be here right now with you I would have just ran away from it and not dealt with it thanks to Dr Wyatt though I can deal with it and I want her to help you the same way she helped me"

"What's going on?"

"Sara is thirteen, she was involved in a car accident earlier today and she was pregnant, we had to do an emergency c-section delivering her baby at twenty eight weeks unfortunately there were complications from the accident and her daughter Eve didn't survive, she had no brain activity. Sara is an extremely mature thirteen year old and she has just agreed to donate Eve's organs, shortly Eve will be taken to the OR"

"Dr Leoni can I speak with you?" she said walking out of the room followed by Roxie

"What are you doing bringing her here?"

"She's thirteen, her babies just died, her mother didn't know she was pregnant until today and has disowned her, her brother is hooked up to a vent and her Dad had a heart attack and on top of all of this she's most likely witnessed her father beating her mother up within an inch of her life. I don't know for sure what she knows exactly about the situation but I do know the accident was caused by her father who tried to run her mother down after she ran away due to an argument this morning. Her daughter is going to the OR to be cut open to have her organs harvested, she has to say goodbye to her baby within the hour, she's thirteen. Help me out please?"

Dr Wyatt nodded her head and walked back inside the room leaving Roxie outside.

A Little While Later

Roxie walked into Kathryn's room where she sat alone looking defeated.

"I am so sorry you're going through all of this, do you know how incredibly lucky you are to be alive let alone have minor injuries?"

"I don't feel lucky"

"You are and I believe that this happened for a reason, God wanted you to be fine so you could look after your family. Ryan's in recovery he's on a ventilator which looks scarier than it actually is it's just helping him temporarily until he's strong enough to breathe by himself. From what I've heard Doctors Karev and Yang can't find anything wrong with Maisie and Lukie the dog, he just turned up all by himself. Sara on the other hand is struggling, physically she's ok and she'll recover but emotionally she's hurting and she needs her Mom"

"I can't, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life but my kids I thought I'd got that right, I thought I'd got my kids right I thought I'd raised good, respectable, polite and honest kids"

"You have"

"No I haven't, good, respectable, polite and honest kids do not get pregnant at thirteen"

"You've tried to shield them the best you can but unfortunately Kathryn you can't completely shield them, she probably knows more about her father's violence towards you than what you think, make no mistake about it Sara is an amazing young woman and she probably had her reason's for doing what she did but only Sara can tell you why. We delivered a beautiful baby girl, she named her Eve…"

Kathryn looked at Roxie and smiled "That was my mothers name"

"…Kathryn, Sara needs you. There were complications due to the trauma from the accident and because of this the baby was harmed and deprived of oxygen, she has no brain activity…"

Kathryn looked at Roxie completely stunned by the news "She's brain dead?"

Roxie nodded "Sara had to make an extremely difficult and emotional decision by herself and it was an amazing and mature decision and you should be extremely proud of her and your granddaughter. She has given permission for us to use Eve's organs to save the lives of many other children"

"Oh my God"

"Very shortly Eve is going to be taken into the OR and her organs are going to be removed and sent to their recipients. Sara has to say goodbye to her daughter and although extremely mature for her age she's still a kid and this isn't easy at any age but I'm guessing more so at her age and she really needs her Mom"

"Oh my God" she said crying "He killed her? He killed my granddaughter. Oh my God"

Roxie stepped forward and comforted an overly emotional Kathryn as she came to terms with the news about her daughter and granddaughter.

LATER

Roxie and a now silent and numb Kathryn sat outside Dr Wyatt's room waiting for Sara who shortly appeared at the door and stopped and looked at her Mom. They both then burst into tears and Kathryn hugged her daughter, Roxie felt herself well up as she could relate to the situation.

IN THE LOBBY

Karev and Yang sat in the lobby with Maisie and Lukie knowing they couldn't take the dog near the patients they felt that this may just be allowed knowing how much the dog meant to Maisie.

"Dr Karev" said an intern as he handed over Maisie's results

"Oh my God" he said looking at the results

"What?" asked Cristina taking the chart from him "Oh my God, she's…"

"Completely fine"

"I told you I was fine" said Maisie as she stroked her dog

"That's incredible" said Cristina

"So what now?" asked Karev

"Her entire families here in the hospital she can't leave"

"She can't stay in the lobby forever"

"What about the dog?" asked Cristina

A Little While Later

Karev pushed Maisie in a wheelchair along with Cristina making their way to the relatives room. Maisie began to giggle.

"Hey kid what's going on?" asked Karev

"He's licking my leg" she said referring to Lukie who was sat on her knee hidden by a blanket

"We're going to get into so much trouble" said Cristina

"Just keep him covered up ok?"

"Ok"

They then arrived at the relative's room and Maisie and Lukie jumped out of the chair. Cristina closed the door and Lukie barked.

"Shh don't bark" said Cristina "I am not getting thrown out of here because of a dog"

"Yang just relax look how happy she is, probably the only one in the family who is right now"

LATER IN THE NICU

Roxie stood alongside Kathryn and Sara as they said goodbye to Eve before she was taken to the OR. They both cried hysterically as they realised this was really happening. Angela looked on and cried as she realised Sara was going through all that pain in order to help her son.

"They're ready for Eve now" said a resident

Sara and Kathryn continued to hold on to Eve. "I can't I'm sorry I can't"

Roxie looked at Angela and then at Eve and Sara. "Sara remember what I said earlier that I was raised to believe the spirit left the body?"

"I know she's not here but she's so small"

"Derek is getting the heart" said Angela

Sara turned to face Angela "His is?"

"Yes you said you hoped my baby got the heart and they've given it to him and he's down there now being prepped for a heart transplant and I have never been so scared in my life…" she said welling up "…because I know that even if it's only for a short time my baby is going to be dead. I can't begin to think what you're going through but because of your generosity and Eve's I don't have to find out and there are mothers just like us waiting right now for their babies organs to arrive and I know you can't bare the thought of this happening but I hope the thought of your baby saving all those lives and saving all those mothers from going through what you're going through will help you to come to terms with this and help you find solace at such a harsh time"

"Your babies going to be ok after getting Eve's heart?"

"I hope so"

"He shouldn't die because of me, he should get the heart" Kathryn cried hysterically and Sara turned to her "Eve's making a difference Mom" she said comforting her mother as she nodded for Roxie to take Eve to the OR

Roxie indicated for the resident to take Eve as Roxie stayed to comfort Sara, Kathryn and Angela.

LATER – IN THE OR

Hahn walked into the OR ready to do the transplant and noticed she was a little light on the ground.

"Where's Dr Leoni?" asked Hahn

"She's not coming, she's staying with the family"

"That's her decision but she's missing out on something miraculous"

"She's doing what she feels is right" said Cristina as she walked in

"What are you doing here Yang?"

"I'm taking Dr Leoni's place at her request. She said she wants the best team on baby Derek's case" smiled Cristina as she stood across from Dr Hahn

"Ok let's do this" said Hahn as she proceeded

Yang smiled as she finally got her cardio case and got the gratification she needed as she was requested for her skills by Roxie.

AT MR CROWS ROOM

Mr Crow sat up in bed as police officers entered his room placing him on bed arrest after his wife filed charges against him in hopes that it would put a stop to her hellish life and it would be hers and her children's escape from him.

IN THE LOBBY

Roxie sat next to Angela as they both looked over at the heartbroken thirteen year old who had to grow up quickly in such a short time and make a decision that many adults would struggle to make and dealing in her own way with a situation no thirteen year old should ever have to deal with.

AT THE RELATIVES ROOM

Karev sat with Maisie and Lukie while her family were divided by their own problems. Karev smiled and Maisie laid on the floor with her head rested on Lukie.

"You really love that dog don't you?" asked Karev

"He's my guardian angel" she replied

"Your what?" asked Karev

"Mommy said Lukie was brought to me so he could look after me when Daddy gets angry and that he'll make sure Daddy doesn't hurt me like he does Sara and Ryan"

"Daddy hurts Sara and Ryan?"

"Not a lot because Mommy stops him now she won't let him upstairs anymore but when Daddy's nasties are here Lukie comes into my room and lays next to me all night to make sure Daddy doesn't hurt me but when Daddy's ok Lukie has to sleep on the floor"

"So Lukie's a good friend?"

"Yep"

"You know when I was a kid my Dad got angry a lot too and I was scared sometimes but I couldn't talk to anyone I didn't have a brother and sister and I definitely didn't have a Lukie. Do you get scared sometimes?"

"No sometimes I get sad when I hear Mommy cry but Sara said it's because Daddy sometimes says mean things to Mommy but Mommy is always ok when we have breakfast the next day"

Karev looked at the little girl before him and wondered to himself what kind of life she was living outside the hospital.

LATER

The doctor in charge of the harvest approached Roxie who stood waiting for news. Sara and Kathryn looked on as Roxie shook his hand and she turned to them both. She slowly approached them and they stood up.

"Eve's body is ready to be viewed if that's what you'd like"

Sara shook her head "No I can't, I'm sorry but the last time I saw her she was alive and I want to remember her like that, I want to remember touching her warm cheek not her cold one"

"Ok that's fine" said Roxie

Just then Roxie's pager went off and Roxie checked it to see a 911. Sara and Angela hugged as she comforted the girl who bravely saved her sons life. Roxie walked over to the nurses station to answer the page.

"Hi this is Dr Leoni I was just paged. Oh God I'm on my way" she put the phone down and looked at the interns behind the desk "Hey you" she said pointing at an intern among the heard "I'm leaving you in charge of them" she said pointing to Sara, Kathryn and Angela. "Comfort them, be appropriate, be professional and page me if you need me"

Roxie then walked away and proceeded to her emergent case. Moments later she rushed into Ryan Crow's room where staff frantically tried to stabilise him.

"What's happening?" asked Roxie

"His lung collapsed again" said Lexie Grey

Roxie stepped forward and checked on the patient listening to his chest. "Diminished breath sounds on the left side, get me a needle I need to release the pressure" Lexie handed her a needle and Roxie inserted it between the ribs and gradually released the pressure from his pleural space. His heart rate returned to normal.

"He's still hypotensive" said Lexie

Roxie looked at the monitors and saw she was right. "Chest tube" she ordered and Lexie immediately handed her a chest tube and Roxie inserted the tube attaching it to the vacuum which would help Ryan.

"Ok we need to get more tests done Grey get Ryan more x-rays, an ECG and ABG"

"Yes Dr Leoni" she replied approaching her "Is that it is he ok?" asked Grey

"No Grey he's not ok I think he may have tension pneumothorax and if I'm right that's a lot of pressure on his body" Roxie walked out of the room and into Mark who was on his way to see a patient

"Hey are you ok?" he asked walking beside her

"No I'm not this day has been…"

"Yeah it has" he said stopping and watching her lean against the wall with frustration

"They say it comes in threes, bad luck I mean. The DOA, Sara's baby and I'm getting tests to confirm a tension pneumothorax on her brother and just hope he isn't going to be the third they've gone through enough today"

Mark pulled Roxie in close and held her tight in his arms hoping it would help her.

LATER – AT CHARLIE'S ROOM

Charlie was awake and sat waiting for the arrival of Skye whom he'd had paged. He smiled as he saw her arrive and walk into the room.

"You had me paged?"

"Tell me I was dreaming?"

"Excuse me?"

"You didn't go and try to steal an organ for me on a technicality?"

Skye looked at Charlie "No I didn't I can't do that it's down to UNOS who gets the organs but I just made sure the family respected his wishes to donate and they did and now you're at the top of the list"

"Oh this guy had two livers did he?"

"No…one of the guys in front of you on the list passed away"

"Well I'm very sorry about that and Skye I appreciate what you're doing for me I do but if this is what God has intended for me then it will happen you can't change my fate, it's predestined"

"You'll get a liver and now you're at the top of the list it's just a matter of waiting for a match"

"Don't give me hope that just makes it harder when nothing happens"

"You have to believe Charlie"

"I do believe and that's why I'm in this hospital bed and not drinking myself to death in the bar across the street but it can't be forced"

Skye knew he was right and she sat down beside him and held his hand.

AT THE RELATIVES ROOM

Roxie approached the room where Kathryn and Sara had been reunited with Maisie. Karev saw Roxie stood looking in and joined her outside.

"Are you ok?" asked Karev

Roxie shook her head and walked into the room followed by Karev. Kathryn stood up and knew Roxie was bearing bad news about either her son or her husband.

"Kathryn I was called to Ryan's room earlier his lung had collapsed for the second time, I released the pressure and inserted a chest tube to help him breathe but I asked for tests to be done as I suspected something and the tests have come back and confirmed my suspicions. Ryan is suffering from tension pneumothorax which means his lung has completely collapsed and due to this a lot of pressure is being placed on his body, it has also pushed on to his heart and its blood vessels causing pressure on his heart resulting in low blood pressure. Kathryn we need to take him into surgery to relieve the pressure on his heart or it could become fatal"

"Oh my God I can't believe this" she said referring to the days events

"Kathryn he's going down to the OR as we speak"

"What about consent?" she asked

"This is a medical emergency your consent isn't required but I had to inform you"

"If you relieve the pressure on his heart will he be ok?"

"If we relieve the pressure on his heart the hope is that his BP will stabilise, his collapsed lung will return to its normal size and everything should work itself out now I need to get to the OR and help Ryan ok?"

Kathryn nodded as Sara comforted her "He'll be ok Mom"

"Stay with them" Roxie ordered Karev

Roxie then left the room and made her way to the OR.


	53. Chapter 53

LATER IN MR CROW'S ROOM

As police officers stood outside his room Mr Crow sat inside wondering what was going to happen to him and how his family were after not being told anything by hospital staff. Suddenly Mr Crow felt pressure on his chest and struggled to breathe, the monitors in his room started to sound and soon doctors rushed in as he began to code.

IN THE OR

Roxie was working on Ryan Crow's heart trying to relieve the pressure in order to stabilise his BP and help his lung return to normal size. As she worked on it with Lexie Grey by her side suddenly the monitors sounded.

"He's in v-fib"

Roxie looked over her shoulder at the monitors in disbelief "Ok massage his heart" she ordered Grey

"Mememe me?" she stuttered

"Yes Grey you massage his heart gently don't worry about damaging it, it's strong it can take it but still remain gentle, paddles" ordered Roxie as she watched Grey massage the heart "That's it you're doing it. Charge them" Lexie moved away and Roxie placed the paddles to the heart "Clear" said Roxie as she shocked the heart

"Nothing" said Lexie

"Ok charge again"

Roxie held the paddles to his heart once again "Clear" she said as she shocked the heart

"Ok we have a rhythm" said Lexie

"Ok lets save this boy and get him back to his family" said Roxie as they continued with the surgery

LATER AT MR CROWS ROOM

Hunt stood with Derek who had been called into Rob Crows room to check for brain activity.

"You did all you could Hunt" said Derek reassuring Hunt "Do you want me to speak to the family?"

"No I'll do it"

"Ok I'm sorry" he said before walking away

Hunt then exhaled as he walked through the corridors and met Roxie at the elevator. Roxie looked at Hunt and knew there was something wrong with him.

"What's wrong?"

"How's the boy?"

"He made it through now it's just a matter of waiting"

"Good because this family can't handle anymore bad news"

"What's happened?" she asked knowing he wasn't talking about just the baby

"The dad coded we got him back but he was down for too long neuro just confirmed no brain activity" he said walking into the elevator followed by a stunned Roxie

"I thought he was ok after the surgery?"

"Apparently God didn't want to save him today"

"I don't how they're going to take this news" she said honestly not sure how they were going to take the news of their abusive husband and fathers death

A Few Moments Later – Relatives Room

Hunt held the door open and Roxie entered followed by Hunt and Kathryn and Sara waited for news on Ryan. Kathryn stood up and could sense the bad news in the air.

"Oh my God please tell me Ryan's not dead" she said in tears

"Ryan is in recovery"

"Oh thank you Lord" she said with relief

"He's still fighting and his case is severe but he's out of immediate danger and he's in recovery being monitored"

Kathryn noticed the sombre look on her face and wondered to herself why she wasn't more excited about the good outcome of the surgery.

"There's something wrong, you're hiding something from me"

"Kathryn about an hour ago your husband coded, we were able to get a heartbeat but unfortunately because it took so long to revive him Rob was deprived of oxygen for a long time and Dr Shepherd our head of neuro has confirmed that there is no brain activity" said Hunt

Roxie and Hunt looked for a response to the news that never came.

"You didn't need a fancy doctor to tell you that just ask anybody who knew the man they'd all tell you he had no brain activity. Please keep me updated on Ryan?"

"Of course" said Roxie

"Do I need to do anything?" she asked Hunt

"Well he's currently being kept alive by machine until you make a decision"

"Pull the plug" she stated without hesitation

"Mrs Crow…"

"You said he was brain dead he's not going to wake up so pull the plug"

"There's paperwork and some information needed" said Hunt

"Such as?" she asked curiously still not showing any emotion about the news

"Things like if you request an autopsy for cause of death"

"I'm not interested in that"

"Ok there's the wishes of the deceased such as organ donation, spiritual or religious matters"

"He only ever believed in alcohol and his fists so no spiritual or religious matters to attend to as far as organs go he was too selfish to think about anybody else but I think he should do something to make up for all of this heartache that he caused so yes take everything it's about time he did something good even if it is in death"

Hunt shared a look with Roxie and she knew this was her area and not Hunts.

"Kathryn I can't possibly begin to know what you have been through not only today but in your life and I can only imagine the amount of anger you hold towards him but these decisions shouldn't be made with anger"

"You're a doctor I thought you would be happy with his organs"

"If this is your decision then yeah it's an amazing thing you're doing but all I'm saying is I don't want you to make a decision now that you may regret later when all the heartache and anger of this day subsides"

"The only difference between today and all the other days is that my husband killed my granddaughter other than that this is an average day for us so I'm sorry I can't be upset, I'm sorry I can't be dignified but I don't owe it to him. Now I'm here comforting my daughter after her loss while I'm sat here praying I don't have to be comforted for the loss of my son who you say is critical so that bastard is the last thing on my mind. I will sign whatever forms need signing as his next of kin but then I will give you his mothers number and you can get her to deal with the rest. Just get the forms and come back here"

"Ok" said Roxie realising she was making a fully conscious decision and her emotions weren't leading her train of thought as she watched Kathryn return to her two daughters.

A Little While Later

Roxie and Hunt stood before the chief in his office explaining the case with Mr Crow.

"Another harvest?" he asked stunned to his core that this was the third harvest within twenty four hours at Seattle Grace "Are you people trying to make a record?"

"Chief this is a good thing" said Hunt

"It depends which way you're looking at it Dr Hunt. Three harvests excellent a possibility of twenty four lives being saved and thirty six lives being improved. It's also three harvests in one hospital in less than twenty four hours which means three mortalities at the hands of our doctors"

"Two actually one of the donors was DOA" corrected Hunt

"Chief this was a bad crash that killed one in the field, an unborn baby due to traumatic complications from the crash and a guy who suffered two heart attacks following the accident. We did all we could we have been on our feet for the last fourteen hours dealing with these casualties, these three mortalities are not a result of bad care but of a bad crash with devastating outcomes. There isn't another hospital out there or any other doctors that could have done any better than your staff here today and you're standing there bitching and whining about how this looks to people, you should be out there congratulating your hardworking staff on their successes today and consoling them on their losses not bitching about coulda, woulda, shoulda's" snapped Roxie before walking out of the room

The chief looked at Hunt feeling humiliating at the dressing down he'd just been given by Roxie a dressing down in which he deserved "I'll inform UNOS and get the harvest team together, just get the papers signed"

"Yes chief" said Hunt walking out of the room and meeting up with Roxie on the walkover "You just told the chief off" said Hunt

"Right now in this hospital alone there are eight people waiting for organs this was nine a few hours ago until baby Derek got his heart. We have a guy on top of the UNOS list waiting for a liver right here in our hospital and the chiefs bitching about all these available organs we're getting today. These healthy organs that are going to save or better people's lives. I don't get his problem with it"

"He's just thinking with his business head eleven victims roll up to the doors, three die, two are critical. He's just thinking how this makes the hospital look, it seems wrong to you and I but it's his job"

"Business head or not Hunt, three lives lost has possibly saved and bettered sixty lives, you can't argue with that"

"Hey I agree with you I'm just saying the chief isn't heartless he's just doing his job and thinking about the reputation of this hospital"

"I have to go I've got patients to check on" said an exhausted Roxie

Roxie walked away from Hunt exhausted after a gruelling day at work.

A Little While Later

Karev was stood at the nurses station when he felt arms encircling his waist he turned and smiled as he saw Ryan.

"Morning babe" he said kissing her

"Hi"

"What are you doing here so early?"

"So late, I haven't gotten home yet. I've been out with the girls and I just thought I should end this good night on a high in an on call room with my man"

"Now there's an idea" he said smiling as he kissed her sweetly

"Oh look who it is" said Skye angrily as she approached the couple "My sister"

"Hi" said Ryan looking over at her sister wondering why she was so angry at her

"Tell me how come I see more of Karev than I do my own sister?"

"You work together" she quickly said immediately regretting her words. Ryan smiled and turned to Karev.

"Go wait for me I'll be there in a minute" Karev looked at Skye and then kissed Ryan before walking away

"Why are you so angry?" asked Ryan

"My sister falls off the face of the planet when I need her the most and working with Karev I know he's told you about me and Chan, for one you've stopped bugging me with wedding crap but you never once came to see me, to find me, to check that I was ok and if I hadn't walked in just then you still wouldn't be speaking to me"

"That's not true"

"Yes it is"

"You've got Roxie she does my job better than me anyway"

"She's too wrapped up in her own problems to care about mine and she has no obligation to me you're my sister Ryan"

"I'm sorry that you and Chan broke up, he seemed to make you happy but I couldn't come down here and tell you what to do. You have to do what feels right even if that does mean being on your own"

"He broke up with me"

"I know"

"I thought it would hurt more" she admitted to her sister "But it didn't"

"Then maybe it wasn't Chan that you loved but just the idea of you and Chan"

"How long do you wait after a relationship to move on?"

"I'm probably not the right person to ask"

"I met a guy, all we've done is talk with a little flirting but when I'm in the same room as him those few minutes are more exciting than my whole relationship was with Chan. He makes me feel special"

"But you don't want to hurt Chan?" Skye shook her head "Maybe you should talk to Chan and put a real ending to you guys and then it might feel easier for you to move on with this other guy"

Skye smiled at her sister and nodded "Yeah maybe"

"Ok well I have to go because Alex is waiting for me" she said with a dirty look in her eyes before walking away

"Ryan" called Skye turning to her sister who stopped and looked back "You're not as bad at this sister thing as you think"

"Thanks" she said with a smile before blowing a kiss to her sister and walking away in search of Karev

LATER

The chief stood in the conference room welcoming transplant teams as they gathered ready for Mr Crow's harvest. Roxie stood looking into the room exhausted from the last forty eight hours still unable to sleep as her busy head kept her awake she looked into the room of doctors waiting for their organs and wondered if she herself would be one of them as they waited for a decision on the liver. Dr Webber saw Roxie stood outside and made his way out to her he looked at her and could see how exhausted she was.

"So?" she asked wondering if a decision had been made

"The other hospital have come to claim the liver"

"What about Charlie?"

"It seems the other guy has deteriorated rapidly"

"Charlie's barely hanging on chief this is his liver"

"UNOS is still deciding"

"This is too much, two harvests and both times he's been overlooked"

"He hasn't been overlooked they're assessing the situation"

"When Robert Crow crashed Charlie was at the top of the list, when his wife signed the papers Charlie was at the top of the list. Half an hour from harvest and now this other guy is suddenly worse off than Charlie. He's circling the drain chief if he doesn't get this liver he'll probably be dead before that liver reaches their patient"

"If he doesn't get the liver then we just have to work harder at keeping him alive"

"I can do that, I can push him full of drugs so that he doesn't know his own name but I can't stop him from giving up and that's what he's doing chief he's tired and he's giving up"

"Chief UNOS are on the phone" said Patricia

Dr Webber turned to the room and looked back at Roxie before he made his way into the room to talk to UNOS. Roxie knew the call was about the liver and she stood looking into the room hoping for some indication that the liver was Charlie's. She looked at the chief who was hard to read and watched as he hung up the phone she then saw the dismay of the other medical team waiting for the liver and for a slight moment her spirits were high. The chief them walked out of the room and Roxie approached him.

"They're doing a curtain call aren't they?" she asked already knowing the answer

"The case will be assessed and a decision will be given once the liver is removed. It's that close Dr Leoni"

The chief returned to the room which Roxie couldn't bring herself to enter and she turned and walked away making her way to Charlie's room where she wasn't surprised to see her friend sat by his side. She walked in and an extremely frail Charlie opened his eyes the Irish fire had gone out and he laid there a defeated man and she wanted nothing more than to give him the fire back and tell him that he was getting a new liver but she couldn't and he could see that by the look in her eyes.

"I didn't get it?" he asked

"Nobody has yet they're going to assess the case and give a decision when the liver is removed. You and this other patient are so close, you're both a match, you're stats are almost identical it may come down to a timing issue who was put on the list first"

"And if he was then he gets it?"

"Yeah"

"I haven't been on it that long"

"He may not have been either. You just have to be strong and pray"

Roxie looked at her friend and could see the anguish in both hers and Charlie's eyes. Roxie then removed herself from the room and she made her way to the gallery where she watched the harvest take place. She sat among the interns and residents who were watching with interest as they were possibly witnessing a harvest for the first time or the third that day as the case may be; she sat waiting for the liver to be removed and as it was placed on ice she waited for the decision to come through. Mere moments later Meredith ran into the gallery frantically.

"Charlie got the liver!" she declared

"He got it?"

"He got it! They stabilised the other guy so Charlie was the more severe case. He got the liver"

"Ok lets go give him the good news"

IN CHARLIE'S ROOM

Charlie stared at the clock knowing the harvest was taking place wondering how long he would have to wait to find out if the liver was his or not. Skye still sat beside him waited anxiously for the news and she could see the fear in Charlie's eyes and tried to keep his spirits high.

"Maybe when you get the new liver and you're recovered we could go out on a date"

Charlie looked at Skye and smiled "I thought you weren't infatuated with me?"

"I'm not it's a sympathy date not many women are going to want you after this"

Charlie smiled "Is that right?"

"Yeah"

"So I have to get this liver to get a date with you?"

"That's right"

"What if I don't get it?"

"That's not a possibility this is a window, and it will close so you better hope you've got this liver"

Just then the door opened and Meredith and Roxie walked in.

"You got the liver" said Roxie

Charlie laid in shock "I got the liver?"

"You got it" she clarified

Charlie smiled and for the first time in a long time they saw that fire back in his eyes and he looked over at Skye.

"There's no backing out now" he said as Skye smiled

"Lets get you prepped right away"

A Little While Later

As Roxie and Meredith worked on Charlie in the OR Skye sat in the gallery above watching the surgery meticulously. She was joined by Mark who sat down beside her and looked into the OR.

"Hopefully after this she'll sleep"

"What?" asked Skye wondering what he was talking about

"She hasn't slept since this chaos rolled in"

"She hasn't?"

"No and she needs to sleep" referring to her condition "She's scared about the baby" he said confiding in an unlikely foe

"I know"

"I don't know how to make it better, or make it easier. I can't promise her things will be fine as a doctor I can't be that optimistic"

"As her boyfriend and the father of her baby you have to be. You have to forget what you know for the next six months for her sake and you have to keep telling her things are going to be fine to make her feel safe because there is nobody in the world who makes her feel more safe than you and she needs that at the moment"

"What if something bad does happen?"

"You deal with it but you can't sit around waiting for it. If it's going to happen then it's going to happen you can't stop it. And there are two huge differences this time around; firstly because of Faith they're going to be looking for placental abruption which will reduce the risk of it happening again and secondly she has Chan, he is an excellent OB and there's nobody I would trust more than him to look after Roxie and the baby. She's in safe hands"

Mark sighed and knew Skye was right but couldn't help but worry about Roxie because he knew it was going to take more than a speech to stop her from panicking but he knew he had to stop her from panicking before it harmed the baby.

"They're done" she said standing and looking down waiting to see the liver pink up as were the rest of the staff "Come on pink up, pink up" she begged

"Pink up damn it" said Roxie knowing it should have pinked up by now

"Why isn't it pinking up?" asked Meredith

"Wait for it" said Roxie praying it did "Come on Charlie you need this"

Skye looked down into the OR with fear coursing through her body as she knew the liver should have pinked up by now.

"It's too long" said Mark standing up and stating the obvious

"Come on Charlie" begged Skye as tension mounted over the patient

"It's not happening what do we do now?" asked Meredith

"Wait"

"Dr Leoni…"

"Grey just wait!" she exclaimed as she put her faith in Charlie and they waited

"Why isn't she doing anything?" asked Skye

"She is" said Mark knowing she was giving him more time before putting his body under more trauma

"Oh my God" said Meredith as she saw the liver begin to pink up "It's it's…"

"Pink" said Roxie finishing her sentence and smiling thankful the body reacted

"Oh thank God" said Skye as she saw the liver pink up on the monitor

Mark stood beside her and looked at her wondering to himself why she was so concerned about this patient.


	54. Chapter 54

A FEW DAYS LATER

Roxie and Mark walked in together and were making their way to the locker room when Roxie was called over to the nurses station.

"I'll see you later" she said kissing Mark and walking over to the nurses station

"Ryan is being moved from the ICU today and here are the latest labs on Charlie" said Lexie handing her the charts

"Thanks. So the Crow kid he's fine?"

"Yeah they say he's made excellent progress and that he doesn't need to be in there anymore, great news hah?"

"It's excellent news yeah"

"And Charlie's tests are all fine and the man himself is in great spirits"

"Brilliant ok well let me go and change and I will back to do rounds"

"Ok" smiled Lexie as Roxie walked away catching up with Skye who had just exited the elevator

"Good morning" said Skye

"Morning" replied Roxie "The other Grey is being extremely attentive today is there something I'm missing?"

"Rox you're a rock star right now, baby Derek, Eve, Ryan Crow and Charlie. All residents and interns are trying to get on your service today to work with you"

"You're kidding right?"

"Nope" smiled Skye "Have you checked on Charlie yet?"

"No but the other Grey assures me he's fine"

The girls arrived at the locker room and as the door opened they walked into Chan.

"Morning" he smiled at them both

"Hi" said Roxie walking inside

"Hey Skye" he said stopping her as she tried to get by him "Can I talk to you a little later on?"

"Sure" she said continuing into the room as Chan smiled

"I'll catch you later then?"

"Ok" she said watching him leave the room

"What was that about?" asked Roxie

"No idea" she replied wondering that exact same thing

LATER – AT DR WYATTS

Dr Wyatt sat watching Roxie and listening to her as she sat rambling about her life, her hectic work schedule and her fears. Dr Wyatt was amazed by how well Roxie had adjusted to therapy after being so negative towards it in the beginning.

"I'm just worried about Skye, she's obviously doing this because she feels she needs to save him"

"I thought the idea of these sessions was to talk about you"

"They're to discuss my life which she's apart of and my concerns and I'm concerned about her"

"What about you though?"

"What about me?"

"You have failed to mention to me yet that you're pregnant once again"

"Who told you?"

"It's a small hospital"

"Derek told you didn't he?" she said making an assumption

"How I found out isn't the issue here. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I'm only just twelve weeks and we have only told a couple of people, Derek being one of them"

"How do you feel about being pregnant again so soon after Faith?"

"I feel fine"

"That's not the way Derek tells it"

"Are you getting Derek to talk about me in his sessions so you can use the information gained in mine?"

"Not at all it's just with the nature of events that brought you two to my office its a bond you two will always share and while you talk about your concern for friends who were not directly affected by Faith, Derek only discusses those who became implicated Meredith, Mark and you, he shows concern for you"

"And he said he was concerned for me because I was pregnant again?"

"He's concerned about your concerns for the baby"

"I wouldn't be human if I didn't have concerns for the baby"

"But maybe your concerns are greater because of Faith"

"Of course they are" admitted Roxie with no hesitation

"What are your concerns? Are they about you replacing Faith? Are they about the possibility of another bad pregnancy?"

Dr Wyatt looked at an obviously infuriated Roxie and could see she'd hit a nerve by bringing the subject up she watched as Roxie composed herself and looked up in the doctors direction.

"Faith is irreplaceable, I may not have had much time with her but she is still my daughter, my first born child and nothing will ever change that. My concerns as selfish as this will sound are for me, I'm concerned about me because they kept telling me that Faith was fine and she probably was fine up until the point when she wasn't and that's the scariest bit, I have morning sickness all day and when I am gripping onto the toilet bowl bringing up everything I've eaten in the day I start to panic because I was nauseous throughout my pregnancy with Faith and I ignored it putting it down to the pregnancy and ignoring the fact it was an indicator of something potentially harmful to both myself and Faith and when I'm done throwing up I wonder to myself should I tell Chan who is my OB or should I keep quiet just in case he thinks I'm neurotic for thinking that every minute little thing could be something fatal. And I'm doing all of this because I cannot go through it again, I cannot lose another baby, I cannot keep trying and putting myself through this to give Mark the family he wants if this pregnancy doesn't go well. I know how incredibly selfish this sounds and how stupid I must come across but I can't help having these thoughts in the back of my mind. I can't help thinking these things and feeling the way I do and I know that Mark, Derek and Chan are all concerned for me and the baby and they're worried that me panicking about these things is going to harm the baby and they may be right but I can't just turn it off. I can't stop panicking so I'm just doing the best I can, I'm working through my concerns and I'm taking one day at a time and unfortunately that's all I can do at this moment. You never know as the pregnancy goes on things may ease up and I may become calmer"

"No one no matter how much you talk to them and how much of yourself you give to them will ever know or understand what you went through and what you're going through right now. I think all Mark, Chan and Derek want is to know that you know that you're not alone that you have them to go to and that you have me as an outlet to come and verbally express all your neurosis such as you writing down all these little things which I bet you're doing am I right?"

Roxie looked at Dr Wyatt and couldn't understand how she knew but was impressed that she'd worked it out. She then nodded.

"I thought you might and you're worried about telling people in case they think you're crazy? You're not crazy you're just being cautious but whenever you feel scared instead of writing it down come and talk to me and we'll decide between us if you are indeed worrying about nothing ok?"

"Okay" she agreed

AT CHARLIE'S ROOM

Skye walked into Charlie's room and smiled as she saw him sleeping. She walked over towards the bed and stroked his head bringing him softly out of his slumber he smiled as he saw her staring down at him.

"Welcome back" she said

"Did you miss me while I was in the ICU?"

"Not really I was able to get some work done without you here"

"Well now I'm back…"

"Yeah but I still have work to do I just came in to see if you were ok?"

"Yeah I'm feeling good" he smiled

"Good okay well I'm going to do some work and I'll check back in on you later"

"Ok"

"And it will give you time to think about where you're going to take me on our date"

"You're still up for that then?"

"Oh yeah like I said no woman's going to want you now so I better give you this sympathy date" she said walking towards the door knowing if she didn't she'd never leave

"Ok I'll get thinking" he replied she turned and smiled at him before she left the room

A Little While Later

Skye was walking down the corridor and she found herself joined by Chan.

"Hey"

"Hi" she replied

"Do you have time to talk right now?"

Skye checked her watch "I have about ten minutes"

"Ok so can we talk then?" he asked

"Sure"

Chan guided her in the direction of the doctors lounge and he closed the door behind him and nervously began to pace the floor as Skye watched on.

"Are you ok?" she asked

"I'm an idiot" he blurted out

"What?" she asked a little confused

"I told myself I was doing the right thing by ending things with you, that I didn't need the negativity in my life because I was still in a vulnerable place but the truth is negativity or not I need you in my life and I can't do this alone. I know I have my sponsor and there's always Roxie but there's nobody I can talk to like you and I am an idiot for ever thinking I could do this without you. Skye I want us to get back together I just hope I haven't lost you forever"

"Chan…"

"Please don't say anything now because I know right now your instant answer will be no because I was a jerk to you on more than one occasion so please just think about it and tonight after work I'll go to Joe's and if you don't turn up there will be no hard feelings and we'll forget I ever brought this up but if you think there is even the slightest chance for us then there will be a drink waiting for you" Chan looked at Skye and then at his watch "Anyway I have to go I have a baby to deliver"

AT RYAN CROWS ROOM

Roxie along with Lexie walked into Ryan's room where he laid in his bed with his mother and two sisters sat around the bed.

"Hi Ryan" said Roxie as she walked inside "How are you this morning?"

"Better"

"That's good to hear"

"When can he go home doctor?"

"I think he has a long hospital stay ahead of him Kathryn"

Ryan sighed as he was eager to get home and Kathryn gripped his hand.

"We just need to make sure that you're completely ready to go home because you had some fairly substantial injuries and although you feel better it doesn't mean you're injuries are getting better. So a little longer in the hospital and a few more tests and we'll see what we're dealing with and I will do all I can to get you home to your family as soon as possible"

"Thank you doctor" said Kathryn

Roxie smiled and she and Lexie left the room as they began down the corridor Roxie turned as she heard a familiar voice call her name. She turned to see Sara walking towards her.

"I was just wondering if you would come to Eve's funeral. I completely understand if you don't want to because of your baby and all but accept for my family she had no one and I think she should have more people there mourning her because…" Roxie could see Sara fighting back the tears

"I'll be there"

"Thank you" said Sara giving a slight smile before going back to her brother's bedside

"Wow that is really great of you agreeing to go to her babies funeral it must bring up bad memories for you" said Lexie

"Grey find something to do" she said cutting off the other Grey. Lexie left and Roxie realised she'd agreed to go to the funeral of baby Eve and she knew she wasn't ready for it and images of the tiny casket invaded her head as her heart began to beat rapidly. She took in deep breaths as Skye met up with her seeing she was anxious.

"Are you ok?"

"I just agreed to go to baby Eve's funeral and I don't know if I can do it"

"Hey I'll help you, we'll do it together"

Roxie smiled thankful she had good friends to get her through things like this.

LATER AT JOES

Chan sat at the bar staring at the door hoping that every time it opened Skye would enter. The door opened once again and once again he got his hopes up and was struck down as it wasn't Skye.

IN THE HOSPITAL – CHARLIES ROOM

Skye walked into Charlie's room and stood beside him stroked his hair once again bringing him sweetly out of his slumber. He smiled at her and she turned and walked to the windows and closed the blinds she then walked back over to the bed and climbed on resting herself next to Charlie he put his arm around her holding her as close as he could.

"Don't you have anywhere else to be?" he asked

Skye smiled at him and shook her head "No I'm exactly where I want to be"

AT JOES BAR

The door opened once more and Chan looked over in hopes it would be Skye but as the unidentified brunette walked in he realised she wasn't coming. He stood up and threw some cash on the bar and walked out leaving a vodka and cranberry untouched on the bar the drink he'd got in anticipation of her arrival.

A WEEK LATER

Roxie was rushing around the apartment trying to get ready for baby Eve's funeral as Mark watched her disapprovingly.

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" he asked concerned about Roxie

"What?" she asked stopping momentarily looking at Mark

"This is going to be such a hard thing for you Rox, I know you think you're doing right by this girl but when you see that tiny casket the only thing you're going to be able to think about it Faith. Roxie I don't think you should be going"

"Let me get this straight I can't go to this funeral because of the bad memories it may bring up but its okay for me to be pregnant so soon after losing her. You don't show this concern for me when I'm throwing up all day long, when I'm exhausted, when I lay awake at night panicking about what could happen to me and this baby during the pregnancy"

"Rox…"

"No Mark! I can't avoid things just because they may bring back unpleasant feelings and memories. I have to work through these things"

"Roxie please I just think this is going to be a huge step back for you"

"Mark I'm going if you're so concerned for me then go with me but you're not stopping me from going to this funeral"

LATER

Roxie, Skye and Mark entered the church to see a handful of people sitting on the first few pews. Before they had chance to proceed to the seats Roxie heard Kathryn she turned and they hugged and Roxie gave her condolences.

"Sara and I were hoping you would say a few words?"

"Me?"

"Well you knew her as well as anybody else did and you were involved in her case and Sara is really struggling with what to say about a baby she didn't even spend twenty four hours with"

"I don't know…"

"Please" asked Sara as she entered the church to see if Roxie had agreed "I know it's last minute but I just can't think of anything and somebody should say something"

Roxie looked at Sara and the pain on her face pulled sharp on her heart as she remembered being in that same position. Mark stood behind Roxie praying she didn't say yes.

"Ok" she agreed. Mark sighed and walked away towards the available pews.

"Is he ok?" asked Kathryn referring to Mark

"Yeah he's fine"

A Little While Later

As tears echoed through the church from the mourners in front of her Roxie sat silent and numb not through nerves of her impending speech but because of the reality of the moment the repetition of events finding herself sat once again in a church with tears echoing as a small white casket was sat upon the altar another life hadn't begun before it was taken away. She sat there in that church a fraud because the things she'd encountered in her life had given her no reason to believe in a God, a greater being and if he did indeed exist he must have had a hatred towards her because she couldn't understand what she'd done so wrong as to deserve all the pain in her life.

"Amen" said the priest "Now a close friend of the family Roxanne Leoni has something she'd like to say here today"

Mark nudged Roxie and pointed to the altar and she knew it was her cue she stood up and walked towards the altar getting closer to the casket. As she approached the tiny box she placed her hand upon it and she felt a lump present in her throat. As she stared at the casket those in attendance wondered what was happening. Roxie felt like the lump in her throat was about to choke her and she removed her hand from the casket and proceeded to the stand she stood there and looked down upon on the mourners and stared directly at Sara a child herself saying goodbye to her own child. As an adult Roxie was struggling and she couldn't even begin to imagine what Sara was going through.

"Fourteen hours and thirty minutes" Sara looked up at Roxie "That's how long Eve was with us. Most people live to be an incredible age and they accomplish many things in their lives, good grades, college degrees, successful careers, marriage, children, grandchildren in some cases, great grandchildren and although they may have some regrets most can't complain about the life they've lived and can leave this world with a satisfied feeling. Eve didn't get to do any of that…" Roxie felt the lump return in her throat and her eyes begin to well up "…yet still she could leave this world with a satisfied feeling because in her short life she did more than most people do in an extensive lifetime. I am privileged to have met Sara a young woman with great strength, great sense and a great heart…I have dealt with adults in similar situations and sometimes situations that fail by comparison to this one that didn't deal with it as well as Sara did, that didn't show incredible strength, maturity and compassion for others. I wish I could stand here and tell you that this will get easier Sara because that's what you're meant to say and maybe it will but I can stand here and tell you if it does get easier it's still a long way off and you're going to need all the help you can get to get past this. This may have no meaning whatsoever to you but I found this helped me and it continues to help me"

Roxie looked at Mark and she could see the concern on his face and knew that his irrationality was nothing more than love and concern for her.

"The world may never notice  
If a snowdrop doesn't bloom,  
Or even pause to wonder  
If the petals fall too soon.

But every life that ever forms,  
Or ever comes to be,  
Touches the world in some small way  
For all eternity.

The little one we longed for  
Was swiftly here and gone.  
But the love that was then planted  
Is a light that still shines on.

And though our arms are empty,  
Our hearts know what to do.  
Every beating of our hearts  
Says that we love you.

Right now you're scared you're going to forget her…but you won't. I promise you will never forget her"

Sara stood up and Roxie made her way over to her and hugged the teenager.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie sat in the on call room on a bed just staring into space. The door opened and Mark walked in without saying a word he sat on the end of the bed knowing she needed him but not pushing her he just sat there and waited for her to talk in her own time.

LATER – OUTSIDE THE ON CALL ROOM

Skye stood looking into the on call room watching as both Mark and Roxie sat frozen like statues. Chan walked over to the desk and stood looking over at Skye wondering what she was looking at. Still scorned from by her dismissal of his attempt at reconciliation he hadn't spoken unless necessary to Skye since that day but he could see the concern on her face at that moment in time and he still loved her and still wanted to protect her and look after her. He walked over to Skye and saw she was looking in at Mark and Roxie.

"Are you ok?" he asked startling her slightly

"I'm fine, she isn't"

"What's happened?"

"She went to baby Eve's funeral she was fine until she sat down and she had to sit looking at the casket then she changed, she just went silent and accept for her heart wrenching speech she hasn't said a word since. It's like she's given up and cut herself off. She's not even talking to Mark she got here and went into the on call room she's still in the same clothes. I want to be a good friend Chan but I don't how to help her"

Chan pulled an upset Skye into him and held her tight trying to comfort her as she worried about their friend who was sat in the darkness hoping for a break of light, a shimmer of hope.


	55. Chapter 55

INSIDE THE ON CALL ROOM

Roxie and Mark were still sat silent and motionless in the on call room as the days events took their toll on an emotional Roxie. The door to the on call room opened and Mark looked up to see Dr Wyatt he smiled as he hoped she'd be able to get something out of Roxie. Without a word said Mark exited the room leaving Roxie and Dr Wyatt alone he never moved out of sight standing at the window and looking in as Skye approached him.

"I'm sorry I just couldn't sit around and do nothing and…she's a shrink"

"It's okay she might talk to her"

Skye and Mark stood by watching on as Dr Wyatt pulled a chair to the side of the bed facing Roxie who still hadn't acknowledged her presence there.

"Roxie what happened at the funeral?" asked Dr Wyatt

"My Dad dumped me in the army"

"I'm sorry?"

"I was a bad kid and I was told jail or army and my dad dumped me in the army and he left me there till I came home by myself. He dropped me off and left, cut throat just like that he didn't come back a week later and rescue me. After that I was exactly like him a straight shooter, everything was black and white there were no grey areas. It only works in the army, it doesn't work in the real world there's more grey areas than black and white in the real world"

"I'm not following your train of thought" said Dr Wyatt slightly confused

"I don't know how to deal with this, not just Faith everything, Mark, Derek, Chan, Skye, Hunt, being pregnant again. I don't know how to do it because I stopped thinking like this. I thought if I carried on as usual after Faith including taking on the sextuplets case as well as baby Eve that it would make things easier that if one of them got a happy ending it would help me mourn because I'd know that good things do happen but baby Derek's fine the sextuplets are fine and still I'm not…I'm not fine and I'm tired of telling people I am…" she admitted as tears appeared in her eyes "She's thirteen and she's going through this and I want to tell her she's going to be fine but I can't because I'm not fine. Faith died four and a half months ago and I'm not fine and I don't know when I will be fine or if I'll ever be fine"

"When bad things happen we can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and we all wonder if we'll make it through and sometimes it takes a long time but we get there"

"When I wake up in a morning that few seconds before you really wake up and you realise the true reality where everything's perfect for those few seconds they're the happiest part of my day. Where I forget she died and where I forget my life is screwed up beyond belief. I have an amazing guy who loves me and who I love more than words could say and I'm pregnant with his baby, he wants to make a life with me…I should be happy…but I'm not"

"Do you sleep properly at night?" Roxie shook her head "Are you eating right?"

"I'm eating what I need when I need it"

"Maybe I could send someone to get you something to eat then after you've eaten I can sit with you until you fall to sleep"

"I'm not hungry"

"You might not be but there's two of you now. Shall I get something for the baby?"

Roxie looked at Dr Wyatt and nodded knowing she had to eat for the babies sake. Dr Wyatt smiled and stood up making her way to the door she walked outside into the corridor where an anxious Mark and Skye waited she took approached them as they waited impatiently for her to speak.

"Roxie is suffering from postpartum depression" she stated as Chan approached

"Postpartum?" he asked confused

"She's showing all the indicator signs of postpartum and after what she's been through I'm not surprised"

"She's just struggling she's not post partum" said Mark not wanting to believe the news

"Dr Sloan sadness, guilt, sleep and eating disturbances, exhaustion, becoming easily frustrated, spells of anger towards others, increased sex drive and increased anxiety or panic attacks which is what she is having right now are all indicators of postpartum depression and Roxie has been displaying all of these since Faith"

"And you've been ignoring this?" he asked wondering why she'd never voiced her findings or concern until this point

"The Roxie that walks into my office is a completely different person from the Roxie you all know and have seen in the last few months the only reason I have heard about these episodes is because of concerns made by Derek in his sessions this is the first time I am witnessing it first hand. I have made notes and I also spoke with the chief about my concerns but unfortunately Dr Sloan until Roxie expresses concern for her own well being or becomes dangerous to herself or others I have no power"

"So what's changed?" asked an angry Mark

"She had an epiphany and she knows she needs help. I believe at this moment in time she would be willing to accept the fact she has postpartum depression and would accept help for it but we need to act fast before she closes herself off again"

Mark looked in at Roxie who sat by herself in the dark room he pushed open the door and walked in sitting down on the bed staring at Roxie waiting for her to see him he could see the sadness in her eyes and she looked at him for the first time since the funeral.

"I need help Mark" she admitted he moved in closer to her and hugged her holding her as tight as he possibly could.

"Ok we'll get help"

LATER – AT THE CHIEFS OFFICE

Dr Wyatt and Mark were inside the chiefs office talking to him about Roxie.

"Postpartum?" he asked not surprised by the news

"Yes I would like you give her extended leave she needs to deal with this" said Dr Wyatt

"And you think taking her away from the hospital is going to do this?" asked Mark not sure it was the best move

"She needs to deal with this and only this she is not stable enough to be treating patients"

"She has been kicking ass looking after her patients her abilities as a doctor are not affected"

"Nevertheless Mark she cannot continue working here, she has to be medically cleared before returning to work. Being at home right now is what she needs time to stop and recuperate" said the chief

"Is there someone that could stay with her?"

"Just me" replied Mark

"She has a big family" said Dr Wyatt

"Yeah she does in New York, here in Seattle she has me"

"We could get a nurse to stay with her"

"No, no way she's not having a home nurse no"

"Mark she needs help"

"Then I'll look after her"

"And what about your patients?" asked Dr Wyatt

"Roxie means more to me chief"

"Dr Sloan…" said the chief reminding him who was the boss

"She's not having a home nurse"

"Take the next two days off and find someone" Mark looked defeated "Dr Wyatt find Dr Tatum and discuss between you the best course of action to help her through this"

"Of course chief" she said leaving the room

The chief looked at Mark who was slumped in his chair "Mark I know this is hard for you but you can't be everywhere. You can never just leave the hospital and you know that your attentions would either be completely on Roxie or completely on the hospital"

"So I have to come to work everyday and pretend this isn't happening?"

"I know it seems impossible right now but it will get easier. You'll find someone to look after her while you're at work and it will ease your anxiety"

"I need to change my hours"

"Of course" agreed the chief understanding his need to get home to Roxie

Mark then stood up and without a word said he left the room to make his way back to Roxie.

A FEW DAYS LATER

Mark stood in the kitchen drinking his coffee as he listened to the sound of the TV channel changing constantly. Roxie had nested on the couch and had taken custody of the remote and although not watching anything in particular she was channel hopping continuously and had been for the best part of an hour. The doorbell sounded and Mark put down his coffee and walked into the living room where he watched Roxie as he walked to the door. He opened the door and smiled as he saw Jess, Roxie's sister, stood in front of him.

"Hi" she said

"Thank you for doing this"

"No problem" she said walking inside.

Mark got her bags and brought them into the apartment and watched as she sat down by Roxie who didn't acknowledge her. Jess then took the remote out of her hand, she turned off the tv and put the remote down on the table she then sat back on the couch and Mark watched as Roxie relented and rested her head on her sister's lap. Jess smiled back at Mark letting him know they'd be fine as she stroked her sister's hair comforting her.

LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL

Skye walked into Charlie's room where she found him watching tv. She looked at the programme that was on and smiled.

"You're that bored?" she asked

"Yep I need to get out of this hospital, no offence the service is great but I need to get back to the real world"

"I get it, sometimes people can't see the world beyond this place"

"When do you think Dr Leoni will let me go?" he asked not hearing the news about Roxie

"Actually she's had to take some time off, your case has been handed over to Dr Bailey and she'll not keep you here any longer than you need to be trust me"

"Ok great"

Just then Dr Bailey walked into the room and gave Skye a bewildered look wondering what she was doing in Charlie's room.

"I'll see you later Charlie" she said before leaving the room

She made her way down the corridor and spotted Chan walking in front of her.

"Chan" Chan looked back to see Skye making her way towards him he knew she was only going to ask about Roxie but he waited for her "How is she today?"

"When I left she was sat in front of the tv"

"Is that a good thing or bad thing?"

"She's come out of her bedroom that can only be a good thing right?"

"Yeah I guess. Has Mark figured anything out yet?"

"Yeah he has or he says he has anyway he doesn't tell me much"

"Did you and the shrink agree on a treatment plan?"

"We're going to do home treatment have someone with her monitoring her at all times, she'll come in and see Dr Wyatt as usual and I live with her so I can keep an eye on her too. It's the best thing for her being in the situation she is we would like to avoid prescribing anything during her pregnancy"

"That's understandable and she's strong she can work her way out of this she doesn't need pills and potions. She's going to be fine" said Skye hoping her words rung true and that her friend would indeed be fine "Maybe I could come and visit her tonight?"

"Yeah she'd like that" he said with a smile

"Well page me when you get off and I'll come back with you"

"Ok I have two c-sections and a bowel thing before I'm done for the day but I'll page you"

"Great…" smiled Skye "…thanks" she said as she walked away

ELSEWHERE AT THE NURSES STATION

The residents congregated at the nurses station watching as Skye walked away from Chan.

"They're really concerned for Leoni" said Izzie sympathising

"She had a meltdown in the on call room Izzie she isn't dying" said Cristina "We've all at some point had a meltdown in the on call room"

"Our meltdowns were about superficial things, love lifes, work, friendships…she lost her child"

"And you lost Denny" said Cristina reminding her of her hard times "George lost his dad, Merediths mother died it hasn't all been superficial crap"

"I'm not taking away from the hurt any of us might have felt in the past but we had our meltdowns, George married Callie, Meredith almost drowned and I couldn't move off the bathroom floor…she's hurting and she's struggling. None of you will ever know what she's going through unless you have to face the same evil twist of fate she has so don't you dare stand there and compare our situations with hers" Izzie boldly said as she angrily walked away

The other residents looked at Yang like she had stepped over the line but Yang couldn't see what she had done wrong.

"What?" she asked

The residents then split and went their own ways leaving Yang stood by herself at the nurses station wondering if she had gone too far.

LATER BACK AT THE APARTMENT

Roxie was still sat on the couch as Mark watched her. Jess then returned to the room after putting her things away in the spare room. She sat down next to Mark at the table and she looked at him with concern wondering to herself what all this was doing to him.

"You should go out"

"What?"

"You've been in here all day just staring at her it's not good you, you need to go out and see someone just have a break from it otherwise you're not going to be able to go back to work with ease you need to go out and come back to see that I'm capable of doing this and that she'll be fine when you're not here"

"It isn't that I don't trust you"

"It's that you care for her" said Jess knowing exactly why he couldn't leave her side

Suddenly the door opened and Chan walked in followed by Skye and then by Derek. Chan placed his stuff down and looked over at Roxie who was sat in the same place she had been when he left that morning.

"Has she moved at all?" he asked

"No" replied Mark

Skye walked over to Roxie and sat down beside her as the others watched on.

"I had a hit and run victim today, came in with a shattered pelvis and broken hip. He had a serious two-column fracture of his hip socket…" Roxie looked at Skye stunned by her words and Skye smiled " Yep…the most complex of complex fractures. I was in the OR for hours repairing it, I managed it though and the guys in recovery now but it was incredible I'm surprised I pulled it off"

Derek sat down next to Mark looking over at Skye and Roxie he then looked back at Mark and smiled. Derek smiled across the table at the blonde.

"Hi Derek" he said extending his hand

"You're Derek?" she asked realising this was Faith's father she then smiled "I'm Jess" she said accepting his gesture

"Sorry" said Mark "Jess this is Chan he lives here and that's Skye over there" he said pointing in the direction of Skye and Roxie who were still talking "This is Jess, Roxie's sister, she's come to look after Roxie while I'm at work"

"Oh…" said Derek

"I was just saying to Mark that he needs to get out of the apartment so he can see that we will survive without him"

"I agree" said Derek looking at Mark "Maybe we should go get a drink? Leave the girls alone for a while"

Mark looked at Derek and then at Jess and realised he was being ganged up on but knew their reason was valid he had to see that things would be fine without him or he could never go back to work without panicking about Roxie at home.

"Ok I'll get my jacket" he said standing up and going to get his jacket

"You're still friends?" asked Jess

"Excuse me?"

"You knock his girlfriend up and you're still friends?"

Derek looked at Jess and couldn't believe how direct and blunt she was being and he smiled

"Lets go" said Mark re-entering the room

Derek looked at Jess and stood up and he and Chan headed for the door as Mark kissed Roxie.

"I won't be long" he said before he walked over to the boys who were waiting for him they then departed and Jess walked over to Roxie and sat on the coffee table in front of her and Skye blocking the TV. Roxie then turned the tv off and looked at Jess waiting for her to speak.

"You have one crazy set up here Rox"

"What do you mean?" asked Skye wondering what Jess was talking about

"Faith's daddy is best friends with Mark still after all that's happened? I thought it was weird that Mark and Rox got back together in the first place but to have him share with Faith's daddy all his thoughts, fears and dreams that's just nuts"

"And you're here to help?" asked Skye wondering why she was saying these things to a vulnerable Roxie

"You've got to laugh at this"

"You weren't here you don't know the situation and even if Roxie has told you which I doubt she has you still have no idea what any of them went through leading up to Faith and after Faith so maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself" snapped Skye

"Enough" said Roxie tired of listening to them both "Skye's right you don't know" Skye smirked "And Jess is right, it's laughable" Jess smirked back

"Now Mark isn't around how are you feeling?"

A silence filled the air as Roxie tried to think of the appropriate wording for how she felt at that moment in time.

"Lost" she stated

"Lost?" asked Jess

"Yeah I know I'm not well, I know I need help, I know there's a place of clarity within my grasp…I just can't find it…I feel lost"

"You should have spoken to someone" said Skye

"I thought if I carried on and worked through it I would one day wake up and it would all be fine"

"Why don't you talk to Mark like this?"

"Because I can't help but get angry at him"

"Angry?" asked Skye

"Yeah it's irrational and I shouldn't be blaming him but I am, so I figure its easier to keep my mouth shut than talk to him because the last thing I need right now is to push him away"

"He isn't going anywhere" said Jess "I've been here only a few hours and even I can see how much he loves you. Roxie you slept with his best friend, got pregnant by his best friend, didn't tell him and let him believe the baby was his and still he came back to you, this guy is not going anywhere…he is in love with you"

"She's right and if you need to vent to him and tell him all this stuff then go for it it's better than keeping it all bottled up"

Roxie wondered to herself if what they said was true and if he was there to stay and how much more he would take, first their rocky beginning, then Faith, now postpartum…she wondered if he loved her enough to stick by her or if he was just there because of his baby that she was carrying.

LATER – AT THE APARTMENT

The door opened and Mark and Chan returned to find Roxie was no longer on the couch. Jess walked into the living room and smiled at the guys.

"She's gone to bed" said Jess knowing Mark was curious to know

"Thanks" he said walking towards the bedroom. He opened the door and walked inside to find Roxie asleep. He smiled as he couldn't remember the last time she had gotten to bed at this hour nor remember the last time she looked so tranquil. He closed the door and took off his jacket, pants and shirt and climbed into bed next to Roxie and held her tight he smiled as Roxie moved in closer to him.

OUTSIDE IN THE LIVING ROOM

Chan picked up the dishes that were left on the coffee table and walked with them into the kitchen and began to load the dishwasher when Jess entered.

"You didn't have to do that I was just about to get to it"

"Don't worry about it"

"So are you one of her conquests?" asked Jess abruptly

Chan looked over at her and smiled as he nodded "No we're just friends"

"That's how it starts you know? Just friends then somehow we wind up in bed together"

"With her? You mean with her right?"

"Oh yeah with her, sorry about getting you flustered there" Jess smiled and left the room and a bewildered Chan

Chan smiled to himself wondering if that was her attempt at flirting or if he were so lonely he was imagining things.


	56. Chapter 56

TWO WEEKS LATER

Mark walked out of the bathroom wearing just his pants as Roxie sat in the chair in the corner of the room looking out of the window.

"You have your appointment with Dr Wyatt today right?" asked Mark taking a shirt out of the closet and throwing it on

"Yeah" replied Roxie still looking out of the window

Mark walked around the bed and sat on the edge in front of Roxie and waited for her to look at him but she never did, he then hung his head in dismay before standing up moving in and kissing her on the head.

"Maybe I'll see you at the hospital" said Mark picking up his things and leaving the room

Roxie looked at the closed door and then back outside. Mark walked into the living room where he found Jess on the phone.

"Okay baby I love you bye" Jess hung up the phone and smiled at Mark

"Boyfriend?" he asked curiously

"No my kids"

"Ahh and they're with their dad?"

"Yeah they are he was talking about bringing them to visit but I don't think it's the best thing for Roxie right now. How is she this morning?"

"She's sat staring out the window, barely talking. I thought there'd have been an improvement by now but nothing"

"The shrink did say she wasn't going to get well overnight"

"She didn't say it was going to take so long either"

"Why don't you go and talk to the doc when you get to the hospital and see what she says?"

"Yeah I might do that. I've got to get to work. I'll call later to check on her" Mark walked towards the door and then turned back "She's got her appointment…"

"At eleven yeah I know" smiled Jess assuring Mark they would be fine as she did everyday

Mark smiled back and then left the apartment and Jess walked into the bedroom where she found Roxie sat in the chair.

"Grams is going to be calling soon and I'm not lying to her again Rox I'm going to tell her the truth and you know what that means" Roxie looked at her sister as she attempted to blackmail her "Roxie you have to try, you need to go out there get some air, meet some people. I'm tired of lying to everyone, I'm tired of telling them you're slowly improving because your not, you're taking advantage of me now"

"Just leave me alone"

Jess grew frustrated and stormed out of the room.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Mark stood trying to write on the charts in front of him but he couldn't concentrate his thoughts were solely on Roxie and it was apparent to all the staff. Derek walked into the room and saw his friend struggling he approached him.

"Are you ok?" he asked

Mark looked at his friend and immediately Derek knew he wasn't. "I spoke with the shrink about Roxie and told her she didn't seem to be getting any better but she just told me sometimes it takes time and I have to be patient"

"Maybe she's right"

"No she's not there's something not right"

"Such as?"

"I don't know. I just have this bad feeling"

Just then Mark's pager went off he took the pager off his hip and saw it was from Jess. He reached over the counter and retrieved the phone and immediately called home with concern as Derek watched on. He eagerly waited for her to answer the phone.

"Mark" said Jess answering the phone

"What's wrong?" he asked

"She's barricaded the door I can't get in"

"Is she talking to you?"

"Mark you need to come home now"

Mark dropped the phone in a blind panic and began to run down the corridor. Derek looked on in concern knowing something terrible was happening he put down his charts and Meredith approached him.

"Hi" she said standing beside him

"I have to go" said Derek leaving a confused Meredith behind as he followed his friend

A Little While Later

Mark and Derek stormed through the apartment door.

"Jess" called Mark wondering where she was he then pushed open his bedroom door to find Jess in a ball on the floor pleading with Roxie to open the door. Mark approached the door "Roxie open the door baby" Mark waited for a reply that never came as an anxious Jess and Derek watched on "Roxie?" he called for a call reply again receiving nothing. "Ok I'm coming in"

"She's locked the door" reminded Jess and Mark stepped back and kicked the door in.

As the door opened the steam escaped into the bedroom and Mark rushed in soon followed by Derek who suspected the same as Mark. Derek entered the room to see Mark struggling to pull Roxie out of a steaming hot bath where she laid unconscious and fully clothed. Derek helped him and they placed her down on the ground. Jess walked in to see her sister lying soaking on the ground.

"Oh my God" she said to herself

"Jess open the window and turn on the ceiling fan we need air in here" ordered Derek as Mark fought to take the layers of soaked warm clothes off of Roxie. "Was she under?" asked Derek not receiving a reply from him "Was she under?" he screamed snapping his friend out of his traumatised daze as he sat stroking her hair and shaking his head. "Ok Jess call 911 we need to cool her down Mark" Mark sat in another daze "MARK! We need to cool her down drain the tub put on the cold water and fetch anything you can to cool her" he then pushed his friend away and Mark proceeded to follow Derek's orders. Derek then checked her pulse, her pupils. He then stood up and opened the bathroom cabinet rampaging through it knocking things over in search for the thermometer he then returned to her and checked her temperature. Mark returned with ice and bags of frozen foods they wrapped them in thin layers and applied them to Roxie as Jess ran into the room.

"They're on their way. Is she going to be ok?" she asked looking haplessly at her sister

Both men looked at Jess and didn't know how to answer her question as they themselves didn't know and could only wait for the ambulance in hope that it wasn't too late for her or the baby.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Chan and the chief waited at the ambulance bay for the arrival of Roxie, the mood was sombre as they waited to see what had happened. The sound of sirens got louder as the ambulance got nearer and they prepared themselves. The ambulance then pulled up into the bay and the doors opened and Mark stepped out along with the gurney as Derek and Jess followed behind in Derek's car.

"She was found unconscious in a hot bath, I don't know how long she was in there but there's still redness and second degree burning"

"Do you even have an estimate of time?" asked the chief

"Jess will know more she's in the car" he mumbled not sure what to do with himself next

"Ok lets get her inside I want a fetal monitor set up, core temperature check, give her fluids and check her stats"

The gurney was pushed inside and Chan hung back to check on Mark "Are you ok?"

"She tried to kill our baby"

"It's not Roxie, she's not well Mark remember that" he said before following the gurney in

INSIDE THE ER

The gurney was rolled in and the staff looked in shock at the familiar face as Chan ran behind closing the door and the blinds, Mark staying outside trying to catch his breath and control himself before entering the hospital praying silently that both Roxie and the baby were ok.

"Ok what have we got?" asked Chan

"Temperatures one hundred and two, bp is one hundred and forty over ninety, heart rate is one hundred and twenty bpm"

"The baby?"

"Hypotensive"

"Ok we need to cool her down, come on people we need to get her heart rate down this babies in distress"

OUTSIDE THE ROOM

"I wonder why she's here?" asked Cristina

"I hope it's not a problem with her pregnancy" said Meredith concerned

Just then Derek, Mark and Jess walked into the room and stood outside the room waiting for someone to bring them good news.

"Derek I need to know something" said Mark. Derek looked at his friend and nodded his head as he proceeded inside the room. Skye then appeared by Mark's side and looked at him wondering what had happened. Derek then walked out of the room and Mark could tell by the look on his face it wasn't good news.

"The babies alive but is in a lot of distress, they need to help Roxie in order to help the baby they're doing everything they can"

"What are the chances of brain damage?" asked Mark

Derek couldn't speak because he didn't know what he could say to help Mark and Mark could see he didn't want to answer. Mark walked away as though he couldn't handle anymore and curiosity got the better of Skye who walked into the room to see her friend laying unconscious and a look of fear in Chan's eyes.

"What happened?" she asked

"She passed out in the bathtub"

Skye looked at Chan with confusion and then looked at her chart and stats and quickly things fell into place. "She tried to kill the baby?" asked a stunned Skye

Chan stepped forward and squeezed Skye's hand "I'm looking after her" he said trying to reassure her

LATER

As Mark sat waiting for news along with Jess, Derek and Skye the residents stood staring at them.

"So do you think she had an accident?" asked Izzie none of them exactly knowing why Roxie was there

"She gets extended leave for postpartum and then a few weeks later she's back in the hospital this was no accident whatever's going off in that room is down to the postpartum" said Yang

"Do you think she's hurt herself?" asked Meredith in disbelief "That's not like Leoni"

"She's ill Mer she's not herself"

"Ok I found out what happened" said Lexie returning to the group after doing detective work like the residents little minion. The residents looked at her waiting to know "Well I don't know for definite what happened but I know what she presented with"

"And…" said Yang urging her to continue

"Oh she came in with second degree burns, high temp and high blood pressure…the baby came in distressed and they're trying to lower her temp and bp in order to help the baby but it seems pretty bad"

"Second degree burns?" asked Meredith

"You don't think she…" said George knowing all the residents were thinking the same thing

OVER IN THE WAITING AREA

Chan and the chief walked over to Roxie's friends and family. Mark stood up as they approached eager to find out how Roxie was. He tried to search Chan's face for some telltale sign but he couldn't read him.

"Is she ok?" he asked

"There's one of your guys in there now tending to the burns. We got her temperature down, her bp has steadied and her heart rate is back to normal the baby has started to respond well. Physically they both seem to be fine"

Mark sat back in his seat relieved they were both ok physically but frightened that Roxie wasn't coping psychologically.

"When the doctors done she'll be taken upstairs to the psyche floor where Dr Wyatt has already admitted her" said the chief

Mark looked at him in disbelief that things had escalated so drastically.

THE NEXT DAY – PSYCHE FLOOR

Mark had sat outside Roxie's room all night just staring at her waiting for her to show some remorse for her actions to show him that she was 'his' Roxie and that they'd get through this. He watched her as she woke up minutes later she spotted him outside and laid staring at him. He knew he couldn't ignore her and made his way inside. He walked up to the head of the bed and pulled the trolley towards him.

"I need to change your dressings"

Roxie sat up and Mark moved away her gown to reveal the heavily bandaged torso of Roxie. He gently began to unwrap the bandages to reveal the raw skin beneath. He took an applicator and began to apply the antibiotic cream, Roxie winced at the pain and Mark looked at her thankful she felt something as he was beginning to wonder.

"Did that hurt?" Roxie nodded "I'll get you some pain relief"

Mark continued to apply the antibiotic cream and the room fell silent as neither one knew what to say to the other.

"I wish I could make you understand what's happening to me" said Roxie looking up at Mark waiting for him to look at her but he never did. "I know you're angry with me…"

"I'm not angry with you, you're ill it's not you, you didn't do this"

"I did do it though" she said as Mark started to put on her dressings

"You're ill Roxie, you didn't mean to do it, there are things in your head making you feel bad and making you do this stuff" he replied fastening the dressings

"Mark some quack says I'm postpartum and you use this as an excuse for my behaviour"

"You're depressed I get it"

"No you don't"

"Roxie I know you wouldn't in sound mind harm this baby"

"What if this isn't postpartum? What if this is just me?" Mark sat down on the bed beside her and looked at her curiously "I went to baby Eve's funeral and everything I'd been bottling up came to the surface the thought of that poor girl having to deal with this, something that I as an adult can't deal with it broke my heart, that's why I broke down"

"Dr Wyatt said that you're suffering from pos-"

"I know what she said but who is she to make that assumption she only knows what part of me I allow her to see and she makes assumptions based on things Derek tells her about me. The truth is Mark, I'm not ready for this baby, I never have been. When I first found out I made an appointment to have a termination and honestly if Chan hadn't spotted me and he and Derek hadn't tried to talk me round I would have gone through with it. I kept the baby because I felt I owed you, because of what happened I felt I owed you a baby. I'm terrified of everything, of the pregnancy going badly, of the labour going badly, of any health problems the baby could have, about me not being able to love the baby, me resenting the baby for surviving when Faith didn't and the thing I fear the most…is me" Mark gripped her hand "When Faith died I blamed myself, I still blame myself. All I can think is if I'd told somebody how I was feeling, if I'd raised concerns about things I thought were just apart of the pregnancy would she have survived? Would I be nursing my one month old baby daughter right now rather than sitting here in a psyche ward three and a half months pregnant with a baby I don't want? This baby has done nothing wrong, this baby is my second chance, our second chance but right now I resent this little thing inside of me and I don't know how to make that go away"

Mark let go of her hand and stood up walking to the foot of the bed "So you thought killing the baby would solve all your problems?"

"A good mother would have looked after her child during the pregnancy, she would have gone straight to a doctor if she experienced the things I did during my pregnancy, I didn't and I let Faith down, if I can't look after her during the pregnancy then I shouldn't be allowed to look after a child especially not a child that I can't help but resent...that's not a good Mom"

She looked over at Mark and wondered if she'd revealed too much to him too soon. Mark rested his hands on his waist and looked down at the floor unable to look at Roxie he then left the room no words spoken.

LATER – AT DR WYATTS

Mark sat on the sofa having not said a word since his arrival there ten minutes before, even though he needed to talk he didn't know how to start or where to start.

"Have you been to see Roxie today?" asked Dr Wyatt breaking the silence

Mark looked at her and like she'd pressed the on button he was ready to talk "What makes you so positively certain that she is suffering from postpartum depression?"

"Things I've observed"

"But that day when she broke down in the on call room you came out and said you'd never seen her like that. Until that day she was ok, not great but ok, she wasn't showing any signs of postpartum. You signed her off because you felt she was ready to go back to work and she was, her professionalism was flawless you couldn't ask for a better doctor. So I'm gonna guess that you came to postpartum through things Derek told you not through things you observed"

"He showed concern, since returning back to work she had to deal with the baby Derek case and baby Eve case both things extremely close to her heart and reminiscent of Faith bringing all things she'd bottled up and put to one side back in her thoughts most likely dominating her thoughts. She may not have shown direct signs of postpartum but based on things Derek did divulge, the changing circumstances, the shock to her system from the DeCesare case and the Crow case, I can sit here and confidently say this is a case of postpartum. She tried to kill her unborn child"

"She said she blames herself for Faith and that she resents this baby"

"She blames herself because she can't come to terms with what happened because she hasn't dealt with it she ran from it. As for resenting this baby, she shouldn't be pregnant so soon after losing Faith, but she is and she still has all these feelings inside guilt, uncertainty, fear and insecurity and she doesn't feel like she can be a good mother to this child because she feels she let Faith down"

"No she said she resents this baby because she should be nursing her newborn daughter and not sitting in a psyche ward three and a half months pregnant with another child she said she didn't want to be pregnant"

"Because she's scared, it's not that she doesn't want the baby she may feel like she doesn't but she does, her anxiety is just based on her experiences she feels like happy endings don't exist anymore because she's dealt with so much tragedy recently"

"Ok say you're right and this is postpartum she's three and a half months pregnant and locked up in a psyche ward, when is she going to stop wanting to kill her baby?"

"We just need to take things one step at a time, we underestimated the severity of her case now we know she can be monitored and will receive daily sessions with me"

"No offence doc but you haven't exactly helped her up to this point"

"When she comes into this office she only ever talks about other people, you, Skye, Chan all the people closest to her, yeah she has an outbreak once in a while where she will express her feelings but they're few and far between as are her sessions. She will be seeing me on a daily basis where if she's not wiling to talk to me she will eventually relent and the good thing here is she's already talking to you which is a good sign that she's willing to seek help and express herself"

"Let's hope you're right"

LATER – PSYCHE WARD

Dr Wyatt entered Roxie's room where she found her laying in bed looking out the window watching the rain fall.

"It's calming don't you agree?" asked Dr Wyatt

Roxie turned and looked at her "How can you love and miss something that you never knew or had so much?" she asked

"Faith?" Roxie nodded "This new pregnancy it's hard right, because you can't get excited about it without feeling upset and guilty about Faith. You feel you let her down and you're so scared of doing the same thing to this baby that you feel its better that it doesn't exist. In your mind you can understand why others are judging you but you can also justify your actions to yourself because you feel you're doing the right thing"

"I love Mark and I want to give him a family but this doesn't feel right" she said with a lump in her throat

"You realise that once I've worked with you through this it will be too late to terminate the pregnancy?"

"I'm not sick" said Roxie wanting to believe her own words

"Sick or not Roxie you tried to kill your baby and you need help"

Roxie turned away from Dr Wyatt and continued looking out the window at the rain.


	57. Chapter 57

A WEEK LATER

"I'm sorry Mark but we just don't have the beds and Roxie is ready to go home" said Dr Wyatt

"But what if she tries something like this again?"

"Mark she can't stay here indefinitely, you have Jess at home watching her…"

"Jess was at home watching her last time" said Mark reminding her

"You disabled all the locks right?" asked Dr Wyatt and Mark sighed "As long as Jess keeps an eye on her and she keeps attending her sessions she'll work through it. Dr Tatum lives with you so he is there for her and the baby everything should be fine"

Mark sighed with hesitation as he watched Roxie through the window getting ready to leave the hospital.

AT CHARLIE'S ROOM

Charlie sat on the edge of the bed listening to Dr Bailey as she ran through the do's and don'ts of his new life and liver.

"So do you understand all of that?"

"Yes" he replied in his deep Irish accent with a smile on his face happy that he was finally allowed out of the hospital

"Ok well then you're free to leave" said Dr Bailey smiling at her patient

"Thank you Dr Bailey I'm going to miss seeing you everyday"

"You won't miss me as much as you think and Mr Callahan if you don't listen to me and abuse this liver I warn you don't come back into this hospital because I will just leave you waiting in triage do I make myself clear?"

"Yes be good to the liver"

"You have the AA numbers?"

"Right here" he said patting his shirt pocket

"I could call them for you"

"Already done doc"

Dr Bailey looked at him judgementally wondering to herself if he'd actually listened or if he was just humouring her. She then left the room and moments later Skye walked in and Charlie smiled at her not surprised she was there.

"So you're free?" she asked

"Yeah I just have to fill in these forms and hand them in then I can go"

"That's great"

"How's Roxie?" he asked

"She's getting better she's being discharged too"

"That's good then they wouldn't let her go if she weren't ready"

"Yeah" smiled Skye hoping that was true and her friend really was ready

"So I've been thinking about this pity date"

"Oh yeah?" said Skye trying to pretend that she'd forgotten about her proposal but secretly hoping he hadn't

"I've been living on hospital food for a long time now I think it's time I had a good meal"

"So I'm buying you dinner?"

"Yeah so when do you get off?"

"I finish at three but I want to go and visit Roxie first at home"

"Ok well just call me when you're done" he said handing her his number he then stood up picked up his bag of belongings and smiled at Skye before he walked out of the his hospital room for the final time.

LATER AT MARK AND ROXIES APARTMENT

Mark had arrived home with Roxie and was sat watching her interact with Jess her sister like nothing had happened.

"Ok how about pizza for dinner?" asked Jess

"I'm not really that hungry" replied Roxie

"You have to eat Rox if not for you then for the baby"

Mark waited for Roxie's response wondering if she still had intentions of hurting their unborn child. Roxie looked at her sister and even though she really wasn't hungry she knew that if she refused to eat it would have Jess and Mark panicking that she was doing it in an attempt to hurt the baby.

"Ok you're right maybe I can eat a slice of pepperoni"

"Good girl" said Jess standing up and making her way over to the phone

Roxie turned and looked over at Mark whose eyes had never left her since the second he collected her from the hospital. They shared a brief smile and Roxie wondered to herself when Mark would start to forgive her and trust her again.

A Little While Later

A knock came at the door of Mark and Roxie's apartment and Jess made her way over with her purse ready to pay for the pizza she opened the door and smiled as she saw Skye stood in front of her.

"Skye hi I thought you were the pizza"

"Sorry to disappoint you I just came to see Roxie"

"Well come in"

Skye walked in and smiled as she saw her friend and she noticed a look of relief on her face like she'd finally got an ally in the room.

"I'll let you girls talk and go get some plates" said Mark walking away into the kitchen followed by Jess

Roxie let out a sigh thankful for the break from her chaperones and Skye smiled only able to imagine what her friend was going through.

"So how you doing?" asked Skye sincerely wanting to know

With a lump in her throat "Tired"

"Physically?"

"Physically, mentally, circumstantially...just tired of everything, of everybody"

"Thanks"

Roxie smiled slightly "You are one of the very few exceptions. I know they mean well and they just want me to get better but they don't realise I can sense their judgement and I know you're judging me too..."

"No I'm not"

"Skye I tried to kill my baby everybody's judging me but you're not putting on this act and treating me like I've had a lobotomy"

"I found with Chan that approach didn't help"

"It doesn't trust me. I can see it in their eyes that they want me to talk to them about it but I honestly don't know what to say. I tried to explain to Mark but it's impossible to understand it until it happens to you"

"That's what Chan said about the pills" replied Skye "Doesn't Chan get it?"

"He's been great while I've been at the hospital but back here I don't know how he's going to be because everyone's taking orders from Mark" she said with distain

"He's only doing it because he cares"

"Yeah but about me or the baby?" she asked wondering to herself like she had since the day she woke up in the hospital

"Roxie..."

"Skye he visited once then he claimed to be too busy to come see me but I'd see him stood there every day just staring at me"

"The point is he was there every day"

"Yeah he may have been there every day but it wasn't for me. My Mark the Mark that loves me would have held me throughout all of this not skulked in a corridor hoping not to be seen"

"Have you spoken to him about this?" Skye waited for a reply that never came "He may just not know how to approach this. Roxie this is a big deal you two almost died, he nearly lost you both. Did you ever think that maybe he's too scared to hold you in case you try this again?"

"And there's the judgement" stated Roxie

"Roxie you're sat here feeling sorry for yourself because Mark's not pining after you. This is how this all came about because you were feeling sorry for yourself because of the bad time you had with Faith and I'm sorry and I can complete understand it but how does you trying to kill your unborn child rectify anything that happened with Faith? How is it going to bring her back?"

"Like I said you'll never understand it"

"Bullshit Roxie, yeah you were dealt a bad hand with Faith and I'm sorry you had to go through it I truly am but feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to help you, Mark, that baby in there or Faith. You're not the only person to be dealt a bad hand some of us get up and carry on and others give up and look for the cowards way out just like you and just like your mother" Skye sat for a lingering moment as she realised she'd just shouted at her unstable friend finally revealing her true feelings on the whole ordeal. She then rose to her feet collected her bag and left the apartment and left a dumbfounded and angry Roxie behind on the couch.

LATER OUTSIDE JOES

Charlie stood outside the entrance to Joe's and smiled as he saw Skye approaching him.

"Is this some kind of cruel joke?" asked Charlie

"What?" asked Skye still a little distracted by her altercation with Roxie

"Asking an alcoholic to meet you outside a bar and then turn up fifteen minutes late? Is this a test of my willpower?"

"Oh sorry I didn't think I just...I'm sorry"

"Hey you ok?" he asked stroking her cheek

"I just had an argument with Roxie...actually not an argument more of a dressing down...I completely laid into her. She's just been discharged from the hospital and I shouted at her"

"Did she deserve it?"

"Yeah she did"

"Then why are you worrying about it?"

"What if it pushes her over the edge?"

"She tried to kill herself and her baby my guess is it wouldn't take much to push her over the edge"

"Thanks that's comforting"

"No..." smiled Charlie "...what I mean is if she were that unstable she'd already be over the edge. I think she's recovering otherwise she'd still be in the hospital"

"Does that mean you've recovered?"

"From the op? Still a little sore"

"And the alcohol?"

"Some recoveries are longer than others"

"Recovery?"

"You don't think alcoholism is a disease?"

"I never thought of it like that. You know you see alcoholics and drug addicts and you think they're doing it to themselves"

"Yeah but usually darling there's a reason they're doing it. The only difference between myself and Roxie is that I don't have the balls to drown myself. We're both sick and we're both recovering the only difference is the way you doctors treat us"

"What do you mean?" asked Skye

"Do you think they shouted at Roxie this morning before she left the psyche ward?"

"No"

"Doctor Bailey shouted at me before I left. If you're an alcoholic they figure any ramifications of your actions is your own fault but if someone tries to drown them self and their unborn baby they're admitted to psyche and the doctors make up excuses for them; she didn't know what she was doing; this isn't her she's sick...fuck that she knew what she was doing when she turned on the taps and when she climbed in the tub, just the same as I knew the more I drank the more it would hurt me. Just like I did, Roxie knew her actions would have consequences...so why does her attempt at her own and her child's life's mean she's ill but my continuous drinking to psychologically fill a void with an abundance of alcohol mean that I'm a waster? They call us alcoholics so why are we not treated the same as people they deem mentally unstable...we all have issues we just deal with it in different ways"

"Very philosophical of you"

"I'm not just a pretty face" he said with his Irish swoon

"Apparently not" smiled Skye

"But you understand what I mean?"

"You're trying to justify my actions for me, thats sweet"

"I'm just saying no one walks on eggshells for me, you did nothing wrong in fact you may have even helped her"

"How do you figure?"

"Well if you did a really good job she'll be so pissed at you that she won't be feeling sorry for herself"

Skye couldn't help but laugh at Charlie's conclusion of events.

"There is that I suppose"

"All I'm saying darling is if you tiptoe around her and the subject she's never going to come out of the hole she's dug for herself she needs a reason. Whether that be her fella, her new little bab or a blind rage..." Skye smiled "...as long as she fights for something"

"Let's hope you're right"

"Hey I'm regular Charles Taylor" he said walking away

Skye gave him a bemused look and smiled to herself as she wondered how many layers this philosophical onion had before following him.

BACK AT MARK AND ROXIES APARTMENT

The door opened and Chan walked in returning from work to find Jess, Mark and Roxie sat on the couch with a half eaten pizza sat in front of them on the coffee table. He could feel the tension in the room and had he not the expression on Roxie's face spoke volumes.

"I'm going to bed" said Mark standing up and walking in the direction of his and Roxie's room.

"Night" said Jess. She then looked at her sister and could sense she wanted her to leave "I'll go clean up" Jess then left the room leaving Chan and Roxie alone

"Were we this annoying when you were the crazy one?" asked Roxie

Chan smiled "Everyone but you, you didn't treat me any different"

"That's because I'm crazy too"

"You're not crazy, you're eccentric"

"I'm dangerous"

"You're interesting"

"I'm suicidal"

"You were suicidal"

"That's right...I was suicidal"

"How's the first day back?"

"Claustrophobic, I'm telling you having Mark and Jess here is like having prison guards but at the same time I feel like I'm solitary. Jess is talking to me but she's interrogating me at the same time and Mark he's just not talking at all and I don't know which is worse. When people ask me questions I just want to tell them to shut up but when they don't ask questions I want to ask them why. Is that messed up or what?"

"No I get it. It's like you want to talk to them and explain everything but when you're given the opportunity you just can't find the words"

"Exactly"

"So tell me, Rox you saw me at my worst. I have no reason to judge but every reason to listen, you were there for me now let me be there for you"

"I don't know where to begin"

"From the beginning"

With a slight hesitation and a long silence Roxie sighed

"You know when you were talking about Yin and Yang and you said that maybe Faith died in order to give me the happiness I deserve with Mark?"

"Yeah"

"What if it were something else?"

"Such as?"

"I had two miscarriages, they were careless pregnancies at a young age in rebellious time in my life and had they worked out I wouldn't be who I am or where I am today so I didn't mourn them, I didn't..." Roxie hesitated

"You didn't want them" he said finishing her sentence for her knowing saying the words were too much for her

Roxie nodded her head agreeing with him "Then I got pregnant with Faith and I fell in love with the idea of me and Mark having a family together, then things fell apart I haemorrhaged, they found out she was Derek's and then she died"

"And you think this happened for a reason?"

"To punish me, for lying to Mark and Derek and also to tell me I'm not meant to be a Mom"

"And because of this you think you're going to lose this baby too?"

"It's not that, it's...the opposite...what if the baby does survive?"

"You've lost me now"

"The two miscarriages and Faith what if they were signs that I shouldn't be a Mom and then this baby survives and it turns out I'm just like my mother? A terrible mother, a horrible person"

"You're not a horrible person, and you're not going to be a bad parent"

"How do you know that?"

"What makes you think you are? Your kind nature? Your tireless efforts to help everybody and anybody who needs you? Your loyalty? The way you supported me regardless of the fact I tried to use you to get a fix and the fact I hurt Skye. Roxie you are not going to be a bad parent. As far as the miscarriages and Faith I truly believe it's just a harsh twist of fate in order to give you the happiness you truly deserve after all the heartache and adversity you've faced"

"I wish I could think the same way as you do"

"Rox..."

"I'm not going to try to hurt myself or the baby again, I promise but my words don't mean a lot to people at the moment"

"I believe you" replied Chan sitting down beside her and bringing her in close for a hug

THE NEXT MORNING

Mark stirred and gently came out of his sleep he turned to see the other half of the bed hadn't been slept in. He had gone to bed wondering if he would wake up alone. Mark got out of bed and walked into the living room expecting to find Roxie asleep on the couch but was shocked to find the room empty.

"Roxie?" called Mark wondering where she was as he searched the apartment unable to find her. Chan's door then opened and Chan appeared.

"Mark what's happening?"

"Where's Roxie?" he asked

Jess then appeared at her door "Mark?"

"Where's Roxie?" he screamed now frantic about Roxie

AT THE HOSPITAL

Skye walked out of the patient's room along with Yang and Yang's interns.

"Ok Yang redo the x-rays I need a better picture before I go into surgery with this guy"

"Ok" replied Yang "Two get new x-rays. One, three and four follow me" ordered Yang as she walked away

Skye approached the nurses desk and placed the chart back in the rack.

"I'm not my mother!" Skye turned around to see Roxie stood in front of her and she smiled

"I know"

"The slightest flaw and you write people off"

"I know and like you're working on things, I'm working on that everybody has flaws and I write people so I don't get hurt"

"Why did you say I was like my mother?"

"You needed a fire lighting under you. Come on lets go get some coffee and talk" suggested Skye as she saw all eyes on Roxie

A Few Moments Later

Skye handed Roxie a coffee and sat down across from her.

"You left the apartment, I'm proud of you"

"I'm terrified that I'm going to screw this up" she blurted out just wanting to get straight to the point, no eggshells "I don't hate this baby, I just don't want this baby to grow up hating me the way I hated my mother, I don't want to screw my kid up the way she screwed me up. And I know that in comparison to trying to kill my baby what my mother did looks insignificant but what she did to me made me do what I did"

"Parenting isn't genetic, and from what you've told me about your mother and from meeting your family, you're nothing like her"

"I'm weak like her; she gave up on us and left. I gave up on life"

"No you didn't, you got scared, you couldn't see a way out and you reacted in the way you did for reasons only you know and when you're ready to tell someone, I'm all ears"

Skye smiled at Roxie and thanked Charlie for his words the night before as she realised if she can have compassion and understanding for him then she could have it for her friend also.

LATER AT THE APARTMENT

Mark frantically made calls to try and track Roxie down as his search efforts came to nothing. The door suddenly opened and Roxie appeared. Mark hung up and threw down the phone he then ran over to the door and gave Roxie the biggest hug she'd ever had and she smiled as she realised he did still care for her.

"I'm sorry about everything and I want to tell you why...all of you" she said looking at her family and friends as Skye, Derek and Dr Wyatt walked in behind her.


	58. Chapter 58

LATER

After Roxie had sat down with her family and friends and tried to explain to them what was happening to her and assuring them that she could see the problem now and was trying to work through it the room sat in a lull. Blank expressions stared back at her and Roxie prayed that by expressing herself they could understand a little better and help her a little more.

"Ok so what you're saying is you don't want this baby?" asked Mark

"No that's not what I'm saying at all. I want this baby and I want to be with you I'm just worried that I'm going to screw it all up. I know that what happened to Faith wasn't my fault, Dr Wyatt helped me realise that because I blamed myself for ignoring things that as a doctor I should have picked up on but whether my fault or not I still feel like I let her down and I know that parenting isn't genetic and because my mother dumped us it doesn't mean I'm going to do the same but I am like her. When things got tough she left and I thought I was stronger than that, I thought I was made of stronger stuff but this just goes to show that I'm not stronger, I'm just a good liar, I've been lying to myself and to all of you that I was fine after what happened to Faith and I wasn't and baby Eve's funeral just pushed me over the edge and all that crap I had bottled up just exploded and I'm ashamed of what I did of what I put you all through but at that moment in time I felt like I couldn't handle it and I couldn't see another way out of it. I couldn't live with myself if I got rid of the baby, which is why I went under the water too"

"So what's changed?" asked Mark wondering to himself how she can go from suicidal to logical

"Nothing...I still feel the same way but now I have support and I know that I have to talk to people"

"What's stopping you from hurting yourself or the baby again?" Mark asked almost interrogating her

Roxie sat for a moment and looked at Mark knowing he had every right to be angry with her but still feeling sad that the man she loved was finding it hard to trust her.

"You" she replied honestly

"I wasn't even a factor when it happened last time you didn't seem to care about me then"

"I don't want to do this in front of everybody"

"Why we don't have any secrets from anybody. The whole hospital knows our business"

"You're right you weren't a factor. When it happened you were the last thing on my mind not because I don't love you, not because I don't care but because you had to be because if I thought about you I wouldn't have gone through with it but I had to in my head I had to. You're angry with me and you have every right to be and I wouldn't blame you if you packed up all my things and kicked me out right now but you haven't and you're not going to whether that's for me or for the baby I don't know but what I do know is that you are the one and only reason I'm fighting, because I hate when you're angry at me"

"What happens when the baby's born? What if you never love it?"

"Mark I can't answer a 'what if'. I won't know until this baby comes and I can't deal with it until this baby comes and I'm sorry I can't give you the answers you need but I'm in the same boat as you. Neither of us know how I'm going to react and deal with this"

Mark then grew frustrated and stormed out of the apartment. Roxie looked at her friends and family as they sat silent witnesses to the tension between herself and Mark. She then saw a look of admiration from Derek as he smiled at her assuring her what she'd done was for the best and knowing Mark better than she did she knew Derek had faith in his friend even if Mark didn't have faith in himself.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Roxie walked out of the bedroom and stood as she watched Mark fold up the blanket and pile the pillow on top placing the neat pile in the closet. Mark turned and caught Roxie staring at him, they hadn't shared a bed since the day of the incident and accept for the hug he gave her when she arrived back to the apartment they hadn't shared any intimate time together either. Roxie knew he was just angry and was letting him work through it in his own time but she couldn't help but long for a hug or a kiss from this now distant man just to let her know that things would be ok. Mark picked up his keys and walked out of the apartment without saying a word.

AT SKYE'S HOUSE

Skye was laid in bed awake although her eyes hadn't opened to welcome in the sight of day. A smiled crept onto her face as she felt an arm encircle her waist she then opened her eyes and looked behind her to see Charlie leaning over her shoulder they shared a kiss and Skye smiled as they parted.

"Good morning to you too" said Charlie

"If it were a good morning there'd be coffee" she sarcastically replied

"Yeah but it would be cold"

"Oh yeah and why's that?" she asked with a smile knowing where the innuendo was leading. Charlie kissed her once again and Skye rolled onto her back and let Charlie continue his seductive assault.

BACK AT ROXIES APARTMENT

The door opened and Chan appeared in just a pair of jeans with his shirt slung over his shoulder. He walked out fastening his belt and was soon joined by a very happy Jess who pulled on his arm turning him back to face her she then planted a kiss on his lips and Chan indulged for a minuscule moment before pulling away and checking all around him that Roxie hadn't caught him leaving her sisters room.

"I have to go to work" said Chan

"Will you stop panicking Roxie doesn't know"

"I'm not panicking" he lied "I just don't want to make a big deal about this when her and Mark are going through a rough patch"

"A rough patch? I think this is a little more than a rough patch" she said talking into his torso as she admired his sculpted body a moment longer before he threw on his shirt

"You think so?"

"If he were able to move past this he would have done it by now, he'd be showing her the support she needs not sleeping on the couch. He cares for her there's no doubt about that he wouldn't be angry with her if he didn't care but honestly if she weren't pregnant I don't think she'd be here right now"

"Is that right?" said Roxie stood at the end of the hall looking down at her sister and Chan

"Rox..." started her sister ready to talk herself out of the awkward moment but Roxie didn't give her the chance as she walked away and left the apartment slamming the door behind "Crap" said Jess to herself as Chan stroked her arm comforting her.

AT THE HOSPITAL

Mark and Derek were sat in the cafeteria talking about Roxie as they drank their coffees.

"All I'm saying is you're only adding to her troubles by ignoring her"

"Yeah but I wouldn't be helping her by putting an act on either. Derek I can't just get over this she tried to kill my kid"

"All this is about the baby? It isn't about her at all?"

"It's too hard..." admitted Mark

"It's worth it though, you can't see the baby Mark, you could check on the baby's condition by asking Chan so why were you in that ward every day? You can lie to Roxie, you can lie to yourself but I know you better than that. You love her, yeah you're angry but you do love her and you think that by keeping your distance if it happens again it won't hurt you as much but that's not true and you know it so stop being so stubborn and be there for her, help her"

Mark pondered Derek's words and wondered to himself if that was the reason he was cutting himself off from her to shield himself from the pain.

PA 'Can Dr Sloan please report to the surgical floor, that's Dr Sloan to the surgical floor'

"I guess I have to go" said Mark almost thankful he didn't have to stay and listen to Derek's interpretation of events.

ON THE SURGICAL FLOOR

Mark walked out of the elevator and turned to make his way to the reception and stopped as he saw Roxie waiting for him. He then continued to walk as he saw all eyes were on him. He walked over to Roxie and he looked at her.

"We need to talk" said Roxie walking away hoping Mark would follow

A Few Moments Later – Doctors Lounge

The door opened and Mark walked in to find Roxie sat waiting for him and he noticed a difference in her, a resemblance of the old Roxie, the Roxie that he fell in love with.

"If you don't want to be with me that's fine, but be a man about it and end it. Stop stringing me along and torturing me by sleeping on the couch and giving me hope that one day you'll be back in our room, in our bed because it's just cruel, and yeah maybe I deserve that but this is not the time to hurt me, not now not while I am working so hard and getting myself back on track"

"What do you want me to say?" asked Mark not sure whether he'd just been given an ultimatum

"The truth"

"The truth...the truth is I love you, the truth is you hurt me, the truth is I don't know if I can handle this"

"I'm trying Mark, I'm trying to get better but I can't do that when I have you holding me back. I need to know if you're going to be there for me or if this over. Before you decide though you need to know about the progress because you haven't asked me so you don't know..."

"Ok..." he said waiting for her report

"I had another scan just to check everything was fine, it is, everything's fine with the baby. I cried when I heard the heartbeat, and I keep the sonogram picture in my purse..." she said opening it up to show him "...after the scan I went shopping and I bought stuff, clothes, bottles, pacifiers I bought so much stuff, I bought books loads of parenting books and I don't know why because I helped raise my brothers and sisters I know how to do it but I bought them anyway and I've almost finished reading them all. I have a book of baby names because the vito thing really didn't help us last time and I've highlighted the names I like and some I know you'll hate just for the fun of it. I cleaned the nursery and I put everything away that I bought so it's all ready for him or her. I've been in touch with some nannies and also with the hospital crèche because I don't know which I want for the baby yet and I've signed up for lamas classes. I've got like a diary thing what I blog in everyday and I write everything down, what's happened, how I feel...Dr Wyatt said it was a good idea and she reads it every day and we discuss it instead of talking in circles about some stupid crap that has no relevance to anything. I got Faith a headstone – I had the poem you gave me put on the back the one I read at baby Eve's funeral, I also started a group for mothers who have had to deal with this...Sara's apart of it too...I figured instead of us all dealing with it by ourselves we could help each other, I've had a lot of interest in it we have our first meeting tomorrow" Roxie looked at Mark waiting for a response "I'm trying Mark"

"I know you are and I wish I could be more supportive but I don't know how to deal with all of this"

"Neither do I and I'm not expecting you to know, I just need to know whether you're going to be there for me or not because not knowing is hurting me"

The door opened and Meredith appeared "Dr Sloan there's a trauma coming in"

"Ok" replied Mark to Meredith not taking his eyes off Roxie once. Meredith left the room and Mark looked down at his feet "I'm sorry I have to go" and then Mark left the room.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER – THE ER

Mark walked into a hectic trauma room where busy doctors and nurses tended to the patient.

"What have we got?" he asked

"Jane Doe, hit and run victim, a witness who rode in with her said she was dragged under the car, presents with broken forearm, separated shoulder, visible broken ribs, deep lacerations, second degree burns on at least forty percent of her body..."

"Burns?" asked an intern

"Most likely friction burn from being dragged by the car" answered Mark walking to the head of the table where he stood beside Derek who was examining the patient. "Crushed zygoma..." said Mark looking at the victim

"Socket fracture" added Derek

"Maxilla, mandible...what do you have?"

"Compressed skull fracture..."

"She's circling the drain?" said an intern

Mark and Derek looked at the intern and gave a look that made him aware of his insensitivity.

"Find out who this girl is and contact her family immediately" said Derek to the intern who left the room

"So what's the plan?" asked Karev

Roxie then entered the room to see the two men struggling

"Constant monitoring, tend to the burns, take her for x-rays, get a CT, page Dr McKenzie to come and deal with the arm, book an OR and call in Bailey to do an abdominal exam but I would proceed with an ex-lap anyway as there's no history or communication with the patient" said Roxie getting the attention of the entire room

Mark looked at Roxie and Derek smiled "You heard her" said Derek who stood up and walked out of the room with Roxie followed by Mark

"So how are you going to do this?" asked Roxie

"One step at a time, we need to get her out of any immediate danger, then it's a matter of waiting for something to happen"

"Jane Doe?" she asked

"So far, I need to go but it's great to see you Roxie"

"Thanks" she said with a smile as Derek left she then looked over at Mark who knew their discussion wasn't over.

"I'm not going to leave you, if I were I'd have done it by now"

Roxie smiled "You mean that?"

"Roxie there's nobody else I want to be with and everybody has issues, I'm a self destructive misogynist"

Roxie smiled "You were"

"And now look at me, what we're going through right now it's tough but the upside is it can only get better, when that little baby gets here it'll all fall into place"

"I hope so" replied Roxie with sincerity wanting everything to work out.

Mark pulled Roxie in and they hugged holding each other tighter than they ever had knowing they both needed each other.

LATER

Chan was stood reading through charts and eating an apple when Roxie approached him from behind,

"So you're sleeping with my sister?" she asked startling an unaware Chan who almost choked on the apple and turned to face Roxie

"You trying to kill me?"

"Should I be?"

"It just happened alright"

"I expect this from her she's a skank but you..."

"What? It's not like I have a girlfriend is it Rox?"

"Oh I get it you're punishing yourself" she joked

Chan smiled "She's been good company, we both know it's not going anywhere and I like that"

"You mean you can dump her if Skye comes to her senses?"

Chan hesitated for a moment "She's not going to do that"

"Have you spoken to her lately, I told her to meet me at Joes if she wanted to try again and she didn't turn up...I can take a hint"

"You're just going to give up on her?"

"Nah she gave up on me"

"If you two sat down and talked about things I'm sure you could reconcile"

"I don't think so"

"Would it hurt to try?"

"Is butting in my life and my business a way of not having to deal with your own stuff?"

"Yeah"

"Go talk to Mark"

"I already did, we sorted some stuff out, now I need to sort you and Skye out"

"Don't waste you time"

"Doctor Tatum" called a nurse from a patient's room

"I'll let you go but just try with her ok"

LATER BACK AT THE APARTMENT

Mark sat reading Roxie's diary which she'd given him hoping by sharing it with him that it may help him to understand things. He read the final words and closed the book and looked at Roxie and smiled sympathetically.

"You really went through all of that?" he asked in disbelief that all that stuff had happened to her and he'd failed to see any of it

"Yeah"

"You haven't done a blog for today"

"You're hogging the book"

"You going to let me read it?" he asked

"Yeah course I am when you let me write it"

Mark handed her the book and smiled as he watched her write finally happy that they'd turned a corner and instead of her bottling things up she was sharing with people this gave Mark a satisfaction knowing that when she was feeling low he could help her through it.

A Little While Later

Mark sat reading Roxie's most recent blog in her diary as Roxie showered.

_Today was an emotional rollercoaster starting this morning when I watched the man I love folding up the blanket he'd used to cover himself as he slept on the couch rather than in our bed, this was followed by complete silence something I have come to hate, there was a time in my hectic and over articulated life where I longed for moments of silence and solitude and now it's become something that I fear and resent especially when it's Mark who won't talk to me but I still understand his anger and I wouldn't want to refuse him the right to vent his frustrations but I just wish he would vent them in a more verbal way as the silence has now become deafening._

_After Mark left for work I walked into quite a compromising situation in the hall as Chan my equal and none judgemental confidant tried to sneak out of my sisters room after spending the night with her the amusing thing is he thought I didn't know but unfortunately I'd heard everything. I wasn't going to make light of the incongruous couple but I was drawn to them as I heard my pretentious sister depicting and dissecting my life which culminated in her saying that if I weren't pregnant Mark would have thrown me out. This made me feel a variety of things anger at my sister and at Chan, worry that her analysis might be right and a sense of determination to get an answer from Mark something I'd been tiptoeing around as not to upset or push him._

_I then went to the hospital to confront Mark and I told him all about the progress I'd made, about preparing the nursery, looking for names, checking into nannies and the hospital crèche and so forth and I waited for him to respond and was angered at the response I got...expecting him to rejoice and be as happy as I am with my progress I was angered by his lack of enthusiasm and his self-indulgent attitude his only response was the impact on him and how 'he' was going to deal with this. All I wanted to know was if he was going to be there for me because if he weren't that would be something I could deal with and move on from whereas waiting in anticipation of the impending day where he tells me whether he still wants me to be a part of his life was just an added pressure and pothole in my recovery and progress. Being called away to a trauma he left without giving me an answer and being determined to get one I continued in my quest and I followed him into the trauma, when I entered the room the staff seemed to be dumbfounded by the case in front of them not knowing what was the best approach and as easy as putting on the latex gloves I slipped back into doctor mode and it felt so good; after feeling so low and so insignificant for so long it was nice to be in control and know that I could do it without hesitation, for the first time since I was put on leave I felt in control and I wasn't questioning myself and my capabilities. I ran off the orders and even though the staff present didn't know how to respond Derek just looked at me and smiled one of his encouraging smiles that can lift you out of your darkest moment and make you feel better but which doesn't have a lingering affect. I then got to speak with Mark and we finally agreed that we were better together than apart and that we were going to support each other through this and then Mark said 'What we're going through right now it's tough but the upside is it can only get better, when that little baby gets here it'll all fall into place' with that one sentence I felt an astounding magnitude of hope flood through me like his words could ring true and the moment I see this baby all this stuff will go away, and although I know the probability of this happening is slight the possibility of it happening makes me smile..._

Mark continued to read the remainder of the entry and smiled as he put the book down. He then stood up and made his way to his and Roxie's room he walked into the bathroom where Roxie was still showering. He slowly began to undress and he made his way into the shower with Roxie his wrapped his arms around her waist and Roxie smiled with happiness as she felt his presence and realised this was a turning point.

"Feel free to blog this" said an overly confident Mark as he began to kiss Roxie's neck

Roxie turned to face Mark and with the small bump between them they smiled at each other as they both realised this was potentially the start of good things to come.


	59. Chapter 59

A WEEK LATER

Roxie walked into the hospital without her chaperone and made her way to the surgical floor in order to meet Mark ready to go for their twenty week scan. The elevator doors opened and Roxie walked out to see Mark sat behind the desk with a pile of charts in front of him. She leant on the counter and smiled down at him and he soon realised he was being watched he looked up and smiled at Roxie knowing he should have had all this work done and out of the way as he'd promised her he'd be ready for the scan. Since they reconciled a week ago and Mark read Roxie's diary entries and got a better understanding of her feelings in the difficult time the couple had grown very close, closer than they ever had been and they were including and informing each other about everything making sure not to hide anything from the other.

"I know I said I'd be ready but we had a trauma and..." said Mark

"...it's ok. I know how this job goes Mark I'm just a little sad because you promised we could go for lunch"

"We can still do that" he said standing up and kissing her over the counter

"No we can't because you have to come back here and finish your charts, it's fine though I'll call Jess to come and meet me and we'll have some sisterly time"

"You sure?" he asked feeling terrible he'd let her down

"Yeah I'm fine as long as you're not cancelling on this scan"

"No way I'm definitely not cancelling on the scan" Mark looked at his watch "In fact we should go" he said realising the time he placed all his work in one large pile and made his way around the counter and hand in hand they made their way up to OB.

A Little While Later

Chan walked through the double doors to find Mark and Roxie sat in the corridor he smiled at them as he approached.

"Come on in" he said walking into the room holding the door open for Roxie and Mark. "You know how this goes" he said sitting down on the stool as he waited for Roxie to lay down on the bed and lift up her shirt to reveal her bump. Chan then applied the cold gel which Roxie had gotten used to with all the scans she'd had up to this point and she then looked at Mark happy that they were sharing this, something completely new to them as she'd not done this when she were pregnant with Faith.

"So?" she asked looking over at Chan

"The babies hiding give me a second..." he continued to search the area and then a smiled appeared on his face as he turned the monitor "There he/she is"

Mark gripped tight onto Roxie's hand as he looked at the monitor realising it was really happening and that was his child on the monitor.

"Oh my God" he said aloud with a smile on his face

"Ok we agreed as a group that we were going to find out the sex of the baby to see how you dealt with it right?" asked Chan clarifying

"Right" agreed Roxie

"Ok well" he said turning the monitor back towards him and looking closer "You're having a beautiful baby...girl" he said turning the monitor back to them so they could look

"A girl?" asked Mark a little worried that this might upset Roxie carrying another girl

"We're having a girl?" she asked with a smile on her face "I'm not surprised it's a pretty slim chance of a boy in my family" she looked at Mark and could see the shadow of concern in his eyes and she kissed him softly on the lips "This is a good thing" she assured him

Mark smiled back at Roxie hoping this was true and it wasn't just a delayed reaction to the news she'd just received.

LATER AT THE APARTMENT

Mark arrived back home after finally finishing his charts and walked in to an empty room.

"Roxie!" he called

"I'm just getting dressed..." she called from their bedroom

Mark put down his things and saw her diary sat on the table he couldn't help but take a look, he knew Roxie would allow him to look later but he couldn't wait any longer he needed to know how she really felt about the scan that day. Mark read through the entry and concentrated hard.

_We went for the twenty week scan today and as we'd all agreed we found out the sex of the baby, it's a girl, I could see Mark worrying and I can completely understand it as he may feel it's too familiar having another girl after Faith but the truth is I wanted a girl, not because of psychological reasoning just because I have sisters and I know how to raise them and I know what to expect from them, don't get me wrong I would love to have a son with Mark but for this pregnancy I'm happy it's a girl, plus we didn't agree on a boy's name...Mark doesn't have the best taste. I feel fine about everything, I'm glad the babies healthy and I have no problems with the baby being a girl, and I know Mark's still worried but all I can do is show him I'm fine with everything by carrying on as normal and hopefully soon he'll see that I'm fine._

Mark smiled as he put the diary down and Roxie appeared from around the corner and smiled at him.

"You finished your charts then?" she asked approaching him and kissing him

"Yeah I did so I'm all yours now"

"Oh and what are we going do?" she asked with a cheeky smile on her face

Mark raised his eyebrows suggestively and Roxie smiled as Mark tightened his grip around her waist and pulled her closer kissing her sweetly.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Skye was finished for the day and was just making her way to the exit when Chan ran after her calling her name causing her to stop and wait for him.

"Hey"

"Hi how did Roxie's scan go?" she asked curiously

"Great, babies fine and it's a girl"

"She's having another girl? How did she take that?"

"Brilliantly, I'm sure she'll talk to you more than she will me about it"

"I don't know you're pretty close lately"

"Yeah, I think she thinks I can relate because we've both been in that self destructive place"

"Can you? Relate to her I mean?"

"Yeah I can, what seems diabolical to you seems ethical to an addict or someone who is mentally..."

"Unstable?"

"Yeah I don't like that term"

"A friend of mine said there wasn't much difference between himself and Roxie that they both did things that were dangerous to themselves yet in the eyes of other people Roxie's given support and an excuse whereas addicts are given no remorse and people's opinions are they did it to themselves and there is no excuse for what they did"

"Sounds about right"

"Did I treat you like that?" she asked

Chan hesitated for a moment not wanting to hurt her but he knew he had to in order for her to stop judging him "Yeah you did. I think your friend said it best, there isn't much of a difference between addicts and people who intend to hurt themselves, we're all hurting ourselves just in different ways and I believe that addicts become addicts for a reason and there has to be a little mental instability to cause that addiction"

"What was yours?"

"I didn't want to feel the pain, the last thing I remembered before the accident was you turning down my proposal and we weren't doing so well. I had it in my head you couldn't handle it, my recovery I mean and everything seemed easier when I was floating"

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way" she said sincerely

"It wasn't you it was all me, I'm just not as strong as I thought"

"That's what Rox said"

"Well there you go it must be right then" he replied with a smile trying to lighten the mood "So do you want to go to Joe's for a drink?" he asked

"Err..." Skye looked at her watch knowing Charlie was at home expecting her

"Hey don't worry about it you've got plans"

"No...I'll just postpone them, I'd love to get a drink" she said not wanting to cause him anymore hurt than she had to knowing finding out about her and Charlie eventually would tear him apart

LATER

Chan pulled up outside Skye's house and turned off the engine hoping for an invite.

"Thanks for driving me home, I shouldn't have had that last drink"

"No problems" he said looking deep into her eyes the love he felt for her never absent was now at the surface and he hoped she felt the same way still.

"I should get going, I'll see you at work tomorrow though"

"Ok" he replied

Skye leaned in to kiss Chan goodnight and Chan saw the perfect opportunity to make his move he turned a friendly goodnight kiss into a passionately sweet embrace. Skye found herself indulging in the kiss even though she knew Charlie was in the house waiting for her. She pulled away from the kiss and looked into Chan's eyes and for that moment in time she couldn't remember why they weren't together.

"Chan..."

"What? That shouldn't have happened?"

"I'm sorry" she said climbing out of the car and making her way inside the house.

Chan sat in the car smiling knowing the kiss he'd just shared with Skye wasn't a mistake and she knew it he could tell by the way she kissed him back. Chan searched in his pocket for his phone and called Skye's cell and sat looking at the house waiting for a reply. He then caught a glimpse of a silhouette in the window and smiled his expression shortly changed as he saw a second silhouette appear and the two merge in an embrace, as he realised Skye was seeing someone her message service picked up.

'Hey this is Skye, I can't answer right now so leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can'

Chan sat dumbfounded with the phone to his ear for a few moments he then hung up the call and started the car leaving and making his way home.

LATER AT THE APARTMENT

Chan walked into the apartment in a bad mood throwing his things down he walked into the kitchen where he could hear noises and he walked in to find Jess putting dishes away she turned to see who was behind her and smiled at him.

"Hi you're late" she said

Chan without a word said walked over to her took the dish out of her hand placed it down on the kitchen top and took Jess in his arms and kissed her passionately. The intensity sending Jess stumbling back against the cupboard, he effortlessly lifted her and placed her on the kitchen top and the intense embrace soon enveloped into an intense and dynamic sexual encounter.

THE NEXT MORNING

Chan sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands he couldn't get Skye and the mystery silhouette out of his head. Suddenly he felt a hand gently tickle at his back he turned and looked at Jess who laid on the same side of his which had once been occupied by Skye. He smiled at her not wanting to be rude and hating himself for wanting the woman he'd shared the night with to be replaced by the woman in his head.

"Morning" she said with a smile

"Hi" he replied

"Last night was..." she paused as she searched for the appropriate word "...there are no words"

"Yeah it was good"

"Good? I've had many a sexual encounter and trust me that was far beyond just good"

"Yeah well it must be down to you"

"Are you kidding? I don't know what put you in that amorous mood but I liked it a lot"

"I need to get ready" he said standing up trying to avoid a repeat performance which he could see Jess was looking for

"You're not at work for hours"

"Yeah I know I just need to go for a run"

"You have the energy to run...wow you are good"

"Yeah well...I'll..." he said picking the sweats off the back of the chair and carrying them into the bathroom. He threw them down on the vanity and looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He then opened the draw in front of him and pulled out a photo of himself and Skye from a happier time before the accident the last time he can remember them being truly happy.

A Little While Later – At Skye's House

Chan sat on a wall across the street from Skye's sat waiting to find out the identity of the mystery silhouette, he didn't know what was going to happen once he knew but he knew right there and then he had to find out. He sipped at his coffee and looked at his watch he'd been stood there a while and knew Skye was on the early shift and she'd soon be leaving for work. Just then the door opened and a man emerged he turned and kissed Skye goodbye at the door and then made his way down the path it wasn't until he reached the end of the path that Chan realised it was Charlie from the hospital. Charlie crossed the road and looked up at Chan who was sat on the wall.

"Morning" said Charlie with a smile not knowing who Chan was

"Morning" replied Chan watching him walk away

Chan then waited till he was out of sight and made his way over to Skye's door he knocked and waited for a reply as the door opened he saw the shocked looked on her face as she saw Chan before her.

"Chan"

"I just thought I should come over and talk to you about last night"

"Why?" she asked

"Well you say that kiss was a mistake but I don't remember you pulling away from it"

"Chan I'm not going to do this with you on the doorstep"

"Ok" he said barging in

"Chan I have to go to work"

"No we have to talk" he said aggressively

Skye looked at him and knew she wasn't going to get him out of the house until she spoke to him she closed the door and turned to him.

"Last night was..." she hesitated her head and heart giving two different answers

"Was?" he asked urging her to reply

"We're not good together"

"Bullshit we're meant to be together and if it weren't for that accident we'd be married by now, we'd be together in our home possibly expecting our first kid, that accident tore us apart"

"No it didn't"

"Then what did"

"You"

"You're going to put all this on me?"

"I saw a side of you that I didn't like, I tried, yeah maybe not as hard I could have but I did try and I never stopped loving you throughout and because of that I never stopped hurting, yeah I may I given up on you but its only because I deserve to be happy and I wasn't happy, I was kidding myself that things would get better and they weren't"

"We were good"

"No we were over and hanging onto what little we had got with every ounce of our being. I stopped being your girlfriend and I became your support system"

"That's what a girlfriend is"

"No, a girlfriend is supportive with a boyfriend who tries, with a boyfriend who puts his crap on hold and remembers that she's his girlfriend. You forgot! I was just another ear to you who you could occasionally use for gratification. We were over, we are over, that kiss was good and I did enjoy it because it was reminiscent of 'us' but that's all it was, it wasn't the start of anything so don't mistake a small insignificant kiss for the resurrection of our relationship. Now we're done here and I have to go to work"

Chan knew staying and arguing with her was just going to dig himself a deeper hole to climb out of and decided leaving was his only option. Skye opened the door and Chan left hearing the door slamming behind him. Skye leant against the door and took a deep breath trying her hardest to hold back the tears.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Karev was in a patient's room doing a follow up exam after his surgery.

"Ok Mr Allen, everything seems to be fine, continue at this rate and it won't be long before you're going home"

"Do you have any orders for me Doctor?" asked the nurse entering the room

Karev looked around at the nurse ready to give his orders and was shocked to see Ryan enter the room.

"Err...Mr Allen the nurse will be in shortly. Can I speak with you?" Karev asked Ryan walking out the room "What the hell are you doing?" he asked sharply

"Excuse me?"

"Coming to the hospital for a quick fumble in the on call room is pushing it but you coming into the patient's room to play Doctors and Nurses with me is going to get me fired"

"That's what you think I'm doing?" she asked with a smile on her face. She then took off the ID badge on her shirt and handed it to him.

Ryan McKenzie

Student Nurse

ID# 514465126

Karev looked at Ryan "You're here on work placement?"

"Yes baby, I mean Doctor Karev" she replied with a smile

He handed her the badge back and she placed it back on her shirt "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to surprise you"

"Yeah well you did that" he said stepping forward and kissing her on the cheek "From this point on though it's professional ok?"

"Ok, so Mr Allen?"

"I wrote it all down on his chart" he said handing the chart to her

"Can we have lunch together or is that unprofessional?" she asked

Karev smiled "Yes we can have lunch together I should be finished in about half an hour"

"Excellent I'll meet you in the cafeteria then Doctor" she said with a smile before walking back into Mr Allen's room.

Karev walked back over to the nurses' station and took his next chart just then Skye approached and handed over one of her charts and opened the next one.

"Did you know that your sisters here on work placement?"

Skye looked up and saw Karev staring at her "No"

"Well she is, she's in scrubs and she's with a patient"

"Poor patient"

"I don't know I think she might be good at it"

"And can your ego allow you to be in a serious relationship with a nurse?"

"What the hell have I done to piss you off?" he asked wondering why he was getting attitude from her

"I just don't trust your loyalty to my sister" she snapped taking out her bad mood on Karev before leaving

LATER

Chan walked into the hospital along with Roxie and they made their way into the elevator.

"So you kissed?" asked Roxie as Chan divulged the series of events from the night before

"Yeah and she kissed me back then she dismissed it, I went to see her this morning to see what was going to happen and she said she gave up on me because she was unhappy and she felt like a support system and not my girlfriend...she basically said I stopped loving her"

"Oh she wouldn't have meant that she knows you love her"

"Loved"

"Uh huh yeah alright and that's why you're stressing because you don't love her"

Chan looked at Roxie and hated that she was right "Did I treat her badly?"

"No, unfortunately we don't know how they feel, Skye or Mark, all we care about is getting better and proving to them we're getting better and we think that because they have an invested interest that we can go to them with every niggling complaint even the ones about them...and even though right now that's what's keeping me and Mark going...it must be really annoying for him having to be completely open and honest"

"That's what it was like with Skye so why doesn't she feel the same way Mark does? Why did she feel pressured and unhappy?"

"Maybe it was too close to home, her Dad was a drunk right? She tried to help him and she couldn't...maybe she was scared of losing you the same way she did him"

"I don't think that's it" he replied knowing about Charlie and Skye's relationship.

The elevator door opened and Roxie made her way over to the nurses station with Chan who noticing Skye there deserted Roxie halfway. As she arrived at the station she realised she was alone.

"Hi" said Roxie to Skye

"Hey" replied a seemingly angry Skye

There was an uncomfortable pause as Roxie debated bringing up the subject "How are you?"

"I know he's told you"

"He's just venting"

"I'm sure he his"

"Did you really say all that to him?" she wondered to herself if her friend was actually that malicious

"That we over a long time before we broke up? Or that the kiss meant nothing?"

"Both" replied Roxie realising her friend had indeed said all those things and wondered to herself if she'd said them out of honesty or she'd said them in hopes that one day she'd believe them herself.

"Yeah I did and I meant them" she snarled picking up her charts and leaving Roxie alone at the nurses' station realising this visit was going to be eventful.


	60. Chapter 60

IN THE CAFETERIA

The residents sat huddled around a table dissecting the events of the day.

"So I had this great little nurse helping me today slightly resembled Ryan" said Stevens

"Yes Ryan's here on her placement lets all get over it and move on" replied Karev

"You don't seem very happy" teased Yang

"I love Ryan, I'm happy that she's happy, I'm happy that she's sticking with this and is making something of her life but she's here for herself not for me so I don't need to know the ins and outs of her day"

"Because she'll tell you about her day when you go home together tonight" joked Yang

"Leave him alone, I think it's great" said Meredith

"Thank you" replied Karev

"That's coming from you who lives in Derek's pocket"

"And that's coming from Cristina who's bitter because things aren't quite working out with Hunt"

Karev, Stevens and O'Malley smiled as Meredith shut Cristina up with one comment.

"Did anyone see Leoni?" asked Karev

"Yeah I did she looks good" replied Stevens

"Yeah Derek says she's doing really well and that she and Sloan are back on track"

"She's having a girl" exclaimed Yang

"How do you know that?" asked Meredith

"I know things"

"She's having another girl?" asked Stevens

"Yes and she's fine" insisted Meredith

"We'll see" replied Yang

"I don't know Cristina I was speaking with her yesterday after the scan and she seemed in really good spirits" said O'Malley

"She seemed fine before she went crazy too, she's just a time bomb"

"Let's all thank god that Cristina isn't a shrink" joked Stevens. Yang pulled a face at Stevens who smiled back.

"Speaking of the nut job" said Karev looking over at Roxie who entered the cafeteria along with Mark

"And now Chan's really upset because he thinks its true"

"Maybe it is" replied Mark

"Yeah maybe but it didn't seem that way when I spoke with Skye its more her trying to hurt him"

"You got this from a conversation where she admitted making the comments"

"Call it intuition"

"Call it easier for you"

"Excuse me?"

"You like both Chan and Skye and if they're arguing you're in the middle whereas if you convince them both they actually love each other you don't have to pick sides"

"I wouldn't pick sides anyway, but why would she kiss him last night if she didn't still feel something for him?"

"Are we going to talk about this the whole time because if so I'm going to fake a page"

"Haha"

"I'm not kidding" he said paying for the food and walking away followed by Roxie

A Little While Later

Chan made his way into the cafeteria and sat down with Roxie and Mark who had also been joined by Derek. Chan hadn't said a word since sitting down and the others tried to avoid bringing up the subject. Just then he caught a glimpse of Skye paying for her things she then turned to look for her friends and saw Chan sat there she put down her tray and picked up the coffee and the sandwich and walked out of the cafeteria without a word said as the residents watched on.

"What was that about?" asked Yang

None of the residents knew but Karev had known of her mood from earlier that day when she snarled at him for talking to her about Ryan.

A FEW WEEKS LATER

Jess kissed her sister and hugged her tight as Mark helped the taxi driver put her bags in the trunk.

"Are you sure you're going to be ok?" she asked nervously

"I'll be fine" replied Roxie

"I'll be back in a few days"

"Jess stop worrying" she said trying to assure her things would be fine but both Jess and Mark had their worries. Roxie could detect this and shook her head "Oh my God, it's been arranged I have constant supervision from you and Chan, not that I need it" she said looking at Mark "You have to go and see your kids" she ordered Jess

"Ok I'm going but I'm going to call you ok"

"Yes just go"

"Love you see you in a few days" Jess climbed into the taxi and they waved her off

"You need to either trust me or make alternative arrangements because it's not fair on her keeping her away from her kids" said Roxie before going back into the apartment building.

AT SKYES HOUSE

Skye was rushing around trying to get ready to go to work as Charlie sat eating breakfast.

"Hey I was thinking of going and finding a job today" he said to the blur that was Skye

"A job?" she asked from the other room

"Yeah I feel better than ever I think I'm ready for it"

"I think it might be too soon"

"Skye I need a job, I'm bored"

"Well what kind of job?" she asked walking back into the kitchen

"I don't know rocket scientist maybe"

"Ha with jokes"

"I'll see what's out there, I have skills you know, I'm more than a good looking Irishman with incredible stamina"

Skye smiled "Be sure to put that on your resume" she said approaching him and kissing him "I have to go"

"I also think we should have a date at Joe's" he called behind her

She appeared back at the door "Why?"

"Why don't you want your friends to know about us?"

"It's not that I don't want them knowing"

"Then why do we keep going to places where you know you won't bump into them? I'm beginning to feel like you're ashamed of me"

"No I'm not ashamed and I'm not hiding you but my private life is just that private"

"Ahh so it's not because you don't want your ex to find out, he is a doctor there right?"

"Yeah but it's not about him either, he can't stop me from dating"

"Then what is it?"

"It's nothing Charlie"

"Then if it's nothing I'll meet you at Joes after work"

Skye knew she had to agree otherwise he wouldn't let it go and she'd have to think of a way of getting out of it later.

"Fine, Joes after work. Are you happy now?"

"As happy as a pig in muck" he replied with a smile

Skye then left the house in a rush ready to make her way to work excuses to get out of her date with Charlie already spinning around in her head.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie made her way to the surgical floor after her session with Dr Wyatt she approached the nurses station.

"Do you know where Doctor Sloan is?" she asked the nurse who shook her head "Ok well if he turns up tell him I'll be in the Doctors lounge ok?"

"Ok" replied the nurse and Roxie made her way down the doctors lounge where she found Skye sat with her laptop.

"Hi" she said to her friend as she entered and sat down across from her "Not speaking to me then?"

"What?" she said snapping out of her daze

"Oh you are talking to me"

"Sorry I was miles away"

"So I can see were you anywhere nice?"

"Hell, complete hell"

"What's wrong?"

Skye sighed as she realised she had to tell someone and there wasn't anybody she trusted more than Roxie "I'm dating Charlie"

"Charlie?" she said a little unsure

"Charlie Irish guy"

Roxie suddenly realised "Oh my God Callahan? You're dating him? How long?" she said astonished that her friend had kept this from her

"Officially since he left the hospital"

"You've been dating him over a month and you haven't told me"

"You've been a little busy yourself"

Roxie realised she was right and let the anger go "Ok you said you were in hell so what's happening?" she asked trying to be supportive

"He wants to go to Joe's tonight; you're the first person I've told"

"And you don't want people knowing?"

"I don't want Chan knowing?"

"Why not?"

"Because whether with him or not he meant something to me at one time and I don't want to hurt him with this, he's still in love with me Rox"

"Oh...well...ok..." said Roxie unsure how to respond to her friend's logic

"I need to cancel this date"

"Why don't you just tell Chan?"

Just then the door opened and Chan walked in he ignored the fact Skye was there the same way she'd been ignoring him, he helped himself to coffee and sat down besides Roxie. Skye excused herself and left the room.

"You did that on purpose" said Roxie

"Nah I'm not like that"

"That's what I thought, maybe I'm wrong" she said to Chan who sat speechless wondering to himself whether she was right and if he really was being childish.

LATER

Roxie spotted Mark walking by and she walked out the lounge and called after him he met her with a kiss.

"I've been sat in the lounge waiting for you"

"I'm sorry I didn't know" Roxie linked arms with Mark and they carried on walking

"Don't worry about it I was reading and guess what I read?"

"What?" he asked smiling at her

"They recommend that at this stage of the pregnancy you take a break"

"A break?"

"Yeah your last childless, and relaxing break. So what do you think?"

"You want me to take a break?"

"Us, I want us to take a break. Come on it would be good for us, just the two of us before it's the three of us and we can just be together and relax"

"I don't know what about your sessions?" he asked concerned

"Mark I'm doing great and as great as Dr Wyatt is she's not magical, I'll still do my diary and you'll still read it and if I need to talk about anything you're there plus Jess gets to spend time at home with her kids, it's not fair on her"

"I don't know"

"If I get permission from Chan and Wyatt can I go please?" she asked mockingly

Mark smiled at her "I'll look for some places"

"Thank you and make it somewhere nice"

"Yes ma'am"

Roxie kissed Mark "I'll see you at home later"

"That's it you're leaving now?"

"I stayed to have lunch with you but I ate already because you didn't turn up"

"I didn't know"

"Find us a nice vacation babe"

"Goodbye" he said trying to get her demanding body out of the hospital he smiled as she walked away thankful 'his' Roxie was back on true form

"Was that Roxie?" asked Derek approaching him

"Yeah she read that it was advised that she take a final childless break at this stage of her pregnancy so now I have to go and ask for time off and find somewhere to take her"

"That sounds nice"

"Yeah I just hope it doesn't set her back"

"Why would it?"

"I don't know, I'm just worrying I guess, might do us both some good and take the edge off"

"Go see the chief and then I'll help you find the perfect place to take her" he said walking away from his friend leaving him to go and make the preparations

LATER IN THE LOCKER ROOM

Chan walked into the locker room to find Skye getting ready to leave the hospital. Chan ignored her once more and continued to get changed. Skye couldn't take him ignoring her and she hadn't been able to contact Charlie to cancel the date and knew she had to do something.

"I can't stand you ignoring me"

"I can't stand you lying to me" he said turning around

"Excuse me"

"Telling me you gave up on me because I was using you as a support system, that's bullshit, you gave up on me because you were so afraid I was going to let you down like your dad and you couldn't bear the thought of it so you sabotage us. That's why you hooked up with the Irish guy because he's your dad just ten years on, you think you can stop him from drinking" Skye stood stunned that Chan knew about Charlie "Oh wait was that supposed to be a secret? Let me ask you something though Skye is it just me you're keeping secrets from or are you keeping our kiss our secret from Charlie?"

"How did you know?"

"I saw him leave the morning after when I came to talk to you"

"I'm sorry you found out like that but Charlie and I are serious"

"Who are you kidding?"

"Chan, Charlie's past has nothing to do with me and him being together, he just, he made me feel special when I felt like crap, he helped me"

"So you think you owe him and because you couldn't help your dad you're going to help him"

"You have no idea what you're talking about"

"What about when he falls off the wagon, are you going to make excuses for him or cut him loose"

"He's not going to fall off the wagon"

"He's an alcoholic"

"You're an addict!" she snapped immediately regretting her words "Chan I'm..."

"Nah don't worry you're angry because you can't handle the truth the difference between me and him though is that I chose to get help, I recognised that I needed help. He was forced into this because his liver gave out, he hasn't chose to become sober...so it won't be long till he's back to the Guinness"

Skye couldn't deal with this venomous Chan and stormed out of the locker room wondering to herself if Chan was right about Charlie.

A Few Minutes Later – At Joes

Skye walked in to see Charlie sat at the bar, she noticed the empty glass beside him and she walked over to him he smiled as she approached and was taken aback as she kissed him, not through passion, not to break their relationship to all the onlookers but to check his breath for alcohol. Skye pulled away and smiled as him as she didn't detect anything.

"Well hello" he responded

"Hi"

"Can I get you a drink?"

"Club soda please"

"You can have a real drink you know?"

"No I don't want one, honest"

The door opened and Chan walked in just in time to see Charlie kiss Skye as their drinks arrived. Chan couldn't handle staring at the happy couple and turned and left straight away without ever being seen by Skye.

LATER AT MARK AND ROXIES APARTMENT

Chan walked into the apartment in a bad mood and threw his things to the floor and looked around the apartment for Jess unable to find her. Roxie woken by all the slamming doors walked out of her room.

"What are you doing?" she whined

"Sorry I didn't know you were sleeping"

"Yeah well I'm up now" she said yawning "So why are you slamming the doors?"

"I was looking for Jess"

"She left this morning"

"Oh shit yeah I forgot"

"What's wrong?"

"Skye's dating that Irish liver patient" Chan waited for the astonishment and smiled "But you know this already"

"I only found out today"

"Yeah well, she gives up on me and takes on a drunk. I don't get her"

"Why do you care so much?"

"I love her" he asked wondering why she was so stunned

"All this time and you bedding my sister later...you still can't let her go"

"Why are you talking to me like I don't have a chance? You were one who was encouraging me to talk to her"

Roxie hesitated before she spoke again "I love you both and I hate this, I hate you both bitching to me about the other and until this all kicked off with me I would have been behind you one hundred percent saying she gave up on you because of her Dad but after what I've put Mark through I can completely understand her too, she may have given up on you to save herself, but it may just be as simple as what she said that she stopped feeling like your girlfriend and started feeling like a support system, only she knows the truth and you don't have any rights to call her a liar when she says that because we only see what we want to see, Mark is being so sweet and so kind and oh my God supportive but every time I say something or do something that he thinks could set me back or is a reaction to it all you can see the worry all over his face so yeah she may have seemed fine to you at the time but you don't know what she went through when she wasn't putting on a front. I'm sorry Chan but maybe it's time to give her what she wants and let her go...if it's meant to be she'll come back to you"

AT KAREV AND RYANS HOUSE

Alex and Ryan got out of the car after working at the hospital all day, Ryan went to open the door and Alex collected the mail. He walked into the house where he found Ryan in an exhausted heap on the sofa.

"Hard work at the hospital isn't it?" he said sitting down besides her and going through the mail

"On a double yep, I'm fine when it's a single shift. I have no idea how you stand in the OR for the length of time you do, I would be out of there every five minutes"

"It's just love babe, when you love something you sacrifice for it"

"Did you sacrifice anything for me?" she said sitting up and wrapping her arms around him

He looked back at her and gave her a half smile "I gave up other women, my womaniser ways..."

"That's not a sacrifice you did all that in hopes of finding me"

"Ok I sacrificed the house to you, I hate your taste and I have to live in it"

"Mere price to pay for getting an amazing house at a bargain price"

Alex smiled "There's something for you" he said handing her a large brown envelope.

Ryan sat back and opened the envelope and read it to herself. Alex noticed the look on her face and sat back.

"Are you ok?" he asked

"Yeah" she replied instantly

"Is there something wrong?"

"No nothing"

"What is that?"

"Oh it's from the university about err...evaluations and stuff. Load of boring things"

"I'll write you an evaluation"

"Thanks"

"No problem"

"So do want to order a pizza?"

"No..." she said standing up "...I'm not hungry. I'm just gonna go to bed" Ryan then walked away and made her way to the bedroom where she took the papers out of the envelope once again. She exhaled with relief as she held in her hand her completed divorce papers, it was over with she was divorced and she had a very nice settlement coming her way all she had to do now was hide it from Alex.


	61. Chapter 61

TWO WEEKS LATER

A taxi pulled up outside Mark and Roxie's apartment block and they both emerged Mark helped the driver with the bags as Roxie made her way into the building. Roxie left all the doors open as she made her way into the apartment where she immediately walked into the bedroom and laid on the bed. Moments later Mark entered and looked at her.

"Are you tired?" he asked wanting a reply but not getting one "Ok well, I'm late because of the damn flight so I have to go to the hospital. Remember I rescheduled your appointment with Wyatt for two" Mark walked over to the bed and kissed her sweetly on the cheek "I'll deal with the bags when I get home don't try to lift them" Mark gave her one last look wondering to himself what had happened to the Roxie he went on vacation with he then left the room to make his way to the hospital.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Derek smiled as he saw his friend he walked over to him and Mark turned to see him.

"Welcome back" said Derek

"Thanks" said Mark unenthusiastically

"Are you ok?" he asked

"I'm fine it's Roxie. I knew something bad would happen but she assured me it would be fine and then at some point she just changed and I left her at home curled up in a ball on the bed"

"Is somebody there with her?" asked Derek

"No Jess doesn't come back into town until tomorrow and Chan's at work what was I supposed to do?"

"You go and tell the chief he'll understand"

"I was going to head up to Dr Wyatt's she has her session at two" he said looking at his watch seeing it was almost three

"Ok well if she's not there or she is there and hasn't changed keep her here or go home with her Mark you can't leave her like that"

"Yeah I know" he said walking away from Derek and nervously making his way to Dr Wyatt's hoping that Roxie was strong enough to not go back to her self destructive ways and to wait to speak with Dr Wyatt.

A Little While Later

Mark sat outside the office door for Dr Wyatt and Roxie to emerge he'd already pretended to read all the magazines in the waiting room and was getting aggravated with having to wait. He stood up with every intention of knocking on the door when it opened and he was relieved to see Roxie exit along with Dr Wyatt.

"Excellent session today Roxie, you did good"

"Thanks" she said turning and looking at Mark "You thought I was drowning myself and the baby again didn't you?"

"No"

"Don't lie to me I saw it in your eyes this morning" she said walking away followed by Mark

"What now I can't be concerned for you?"

"Mark I'm bound to have bad days all I wanted was you to ask why"

"Ask why? You weren't talking to me"

"I didn't want to talk I wanted to tell you how I felt"

"So tell me" he said taking her hands and stopping her in her tracks

"Too late, I talked to Dr Wyatt, you want to know you'll have to read my diary" she said slamming it against his chest and walking away. Mark sighed with frustration as he sat back down in the waiting area and read the diary.

A Little While Later

Roxie sat outside on a bench in the ambulance bay staring into space when Hunt gowned up ready for an ambulance walked out he spotted Roxie and sat down beside her. For a few moments nothing was said as he joined her in staring at nothing.

"Are you ok?" he asked breaking the silence

"I think so" she answered honestly

"Do you still have hospital privileges?" he asked getting her attention she looked at him and nodded "Want to help me?"

"Yeah" she said immediately knowing it was what she needed to get her mind off of things

Hunt stood up and retrieved a gown and gloves for Roxie she put her arms into the gown and as Hunt tied the gown she placed the gloves on and then they heard the siren. The ambulance pulled up and the doors flew open.

"Gladys Goldstein, 72, was found by her home help in a disoriented state, mumbled communications, low blood pressure..."

"How low?" asked Hunt

"Seventy five over fifty eight"

"That's low" replied Roxie as they wheeled her inside.

IN TRAUMA ROOM ONE

Gladys sat on the bed staring at Hunt as he hooked her up to the monitor.

"BP's ninety over fifty five" said Roxie

"Still low, you think this could be down to her age?" asked Hunt

"I don't know, is the carer here?" Roxie asked the nurse

The nurse left the room and the carer entered along with her

"Does Mrs Goldstein have any medical complaints?" asked Hunt

"Err she's got blood pressure, glaucoma, arthritis and I think that's it I've called her daughter"

"Is her blood pressure high or low?" Hunt asked the carer

"Err high yeah high" said the carer

Hunt shot Roxie a look as the mystery of her low blood pressure continued.

"Thank you" said Hunt as the nurse escorted her out "Ok let's get a CT, Doppler ultrasound, and arteriograph"

Roxie searched through the patients belongings in search of any medication and she pulled out a plastic zip lock bag and stared at the contents. As Hunt shouted out orders Roxie tried to interrupt.

"Owen!" she said finally shutting him up he looked over at her

"What?"

"This isn't a stroke" she said handing him the bag

"Is that what I think it is?" asked Hunt looking at the bag in Roxie's hand.

"Pot brownies, she's stoned" smiled Roxie

"Such a pretty boy" said Gladys stroking Hunts face

Hunt smiled "What about her bp?" he asked

"Adverse reaction?" she smiled "Let's monitor her heart rate and BP if it drops dramatically page Dr Hunt and if it rises to hypertensive levels page Dr Hunt" she completed walking out of the room followed by Hunt. She stood silent for a moment before bursting into a fit of laughter and Hunt smiled as he watched her smile. She controlled herself and looked at him.

"It's nice to see you smile" said Hunt

"Sorry I know that's unprofessional but Granny Pot was exactly what I needed" she chuckled

Hunt moved and sat down in front of her and looked at her before speaking "So how are you really?" he asked. Roxie looked at him wondering what he was getting at. "You're twenty five weeks right?" he asked placing his hand on her stomach and she nodded "You were twenty five weeks when you haemorrhaged?" she nodded again and he could see the worry in her eyes. "How did you feel at twenty five weeks with Faith?"

"Tired, nauseous and just awful all the time"

"And how do you feel at twenty five weeks with this little one?"

"Accept for having the most intense heartburn ever, I feel fine"

"See there's a big difference"

"I guess so"

"Maybe you need to make goals for yourself. Like you've made it to twenty five weeks so now your goal needs to be twenty six weeks, then make it thirty, then thirty four, then before you know it you're full term and you're having contractions and ripping off Mark's limbs and swearing to God you'll never go near him again"

Roxie smiled at Hunt wondering to herself how a guy who wasn't even here when she haemorrhaged remembered all this information but those closest to her had all forgotten.

A Little While Later - In The Cafeteria

Roxie and Hunt sat in the cafeteria getting their own buzz, from caffeine, as Granny Pot came down from hers.

"I wonder where she got it?" asked Hunt referring to the marijuana

"I don't know, I wonder if this was the first time she got high on it"

"Oh it had to be for her BP to drop that low she'd have been unconscious had she tried it before"

"You know I've seen some crazy things while I've been in medicine. When I was at the e-vac centre where I did my internship there was this one guy and he got a 'Dear John' letter while he was writing a letter to his girl and the guys tried to keep his spirits high but he refused to go out with them when they got back he was out of it, he'd swallowed the pen and the 'Dear John' letter. So me and my resident took him into the OR and this resident he was amazing I don't think I could have got through it all without him but anyway this case he operated and he removed the pen and as he placed it in the tray he asked for them to clean it and I'm thinking to myself 'What are you going to give it him back as a memento?' we finished the surgery and we were scrubbing out and the nurse opened the door and handed him the pen then as he walked out he started writing on the guys chart with his pen then he just stopped turned to me and said 'Ahh Bic, writes first time, every time'" Hunt started to laugh "It was just surreal"

"I think my favourite was my first year of residency I was in a County hospital and I walked into the room and there was this woman on the bed and a man sat on the chair in the corner. I asked her what I could help her with and she said and I quote 'I think my vagina's too loose?'. I had to ask her twice just to confirm it and I said 'Why do you think this?' and she said **'**Well, I'm not sure. My boyfriend can't satisfy me—you know, he can't make me come—and I don't know if it is because my vagina is too loose, or because he's on crack. He's a drug dealer, and he uses the stuff himself, you know' so I look at the guy in the corner and I asked 'Is this your boyfriend?' she replies 'No, that's my husband. I don't have sex with my husband, just my boyfriend'" Roxie gave him a bewildered look "It's gets better…so I asked her if she uses drugs and she says no, then goes into detail about how she can pleasure herself but her boyfriend can't do it and she asks if I'm going to examine her so I tell her off for using an ambulance to bring her to hospital telling her she's not a critical case and because of her there could be someone dying who was unable to get an ambulance because of her ridiculous case and that even if she'd walked in to the ER I wouldn't have examined her because she needs to see a gynaecologist. Then she says she doesn't want to because she'll have to pay for it and then the mute husband up till this point pipes up and says **'**Hey, I'm not payin' for it, either! If I'm not getting it, I sure as hell ain't gonna pay to have it fixed! Your boyfriend can pay the bill!'"

Roxie laughed hysterically as she could picture the Hunt she knew dealing with that case and the image was hilarious inside her head. Just then Mark appeared and Roxie controlled her laughter as she looked at Mark knowing the look on his face was serious.

"What's so funny?" he asked

"Roxie and I were comparing our funniest patient stories"

"You were?" he asked wondering how this had happened how Roxie had gone from distant to angry to uncontrollable laughter.

"Yeah we just had an LOL brought in with suspected stroke turns out she was high she'd been eating pot brownies"

"We?"

"Yeah Hunt asked me if I wanted to help and I said yeah, it was so funny she was feeling Owen up calling him a pretty boy"

"Yes thank you" said Hunt trying to deter from the subject to save himself the humiliation

"Can we talk?" asked Mark

Hunt took the hint and stood up "I should get back to the ER and check on Granny Pot, feel free to drop by the ER anytime Roxie I'll find you some fun cases"

"Thanks" she smiled as he walked away and she looked back at Mark still smiling as he looked concerned "What?" she asked urging him to speak

"I'm sorry, I'm an idiot I didn't even realise, I feel awful. I feel a little stupid asking you this after seeing you laughing with Hunt but how are you?"

"I was nervous this morning as you've probably read but Owen asked me how I felt when I was pregnant with Faith and how I feel with this pregnancy and he was right they're completely different and I just need to take it step by step and not worry so much. I know this sounds crazy but I've been so convinced that something bad was going to happen that I didn't realise how good I felt and how different the two pregnancies are. Now I've thought about it I feel better about things"

"Well that's good" smiled Mark

"Yeah but you just have to keep reminding me of this when I slip into my bad moods"

"Deal" replied Mark moving in and kissing her softly on the lips

Across The Cafeteria

Yang placed her tray down next to Meredith who she caught with a smile on her face.

"What are you so happy about?" asked Yang in a bad mood

"It's just nice to see Sloan and Leoni getting along"

"It is?" she asked wondering how her friend could be so happy about the good fortune of a woman who turned hers and Derek's lives upside down.

"Yeah she's been through so much and now things seem to be going well for her"

"For who?" asked Derek only catching the last part as he sat down at the table and kissed Meredith

"I was just saying how great it is to see them both so happy" she said gesturing over at Mark and Roxie

"Oh they're happy then?" he asked not realizing he was the only one who knew about Roxie's change in mood that very morning

"Were they having problems?" asked Meredith curious of Derek's remark

Yang's ears pricked up as she listened in trying to get all the gossip.

"It's nothing Mark was just concerned about her this morning she was probably just tired or something she came back from the airport and went straight to bed"

"Six months pregnant? I'd be in bed too" replied Meredith with a sparkle in her eye as she felt herself becoming slightly broody

Derek smiled back at Meredith wondering if what he'd just seen was a spark of excitement in Meredith's eyes.

LATER

Ryan was stood pacing outside a patients room as she waited for her sister to emerge, finally the door opened and Skye appeared along with interns and a resident.

"I need to speak to you" said Ryan anxiously

Skye stared at her sister wondering what was so important that she wanted to speak to her as she wasn't usually the person she came to until things were too late.

"Can you finish rounds please?" Skye asked the resident who took the interns to the next patient. "What's wrong?" asked Skye

"Not here there are too many ears" she said walking away Skye intrigued followed behind her and walked into an empty room.

"So?" asked Skye

"My divorce came through" she exclaimed

"What this morning?"

"Two weeks ago, I haven't told Alex"

"Why not?"

"I don't know" she honestly admitted "But this morning I got a statement from the bank and…well" she said taking the letter out of her pocket and handing it to her sister who opened the statement, Ryan watched as her sisters jaw dropped.

"This is your settlement?"

"How can I not tell Alex?"

"This is fifty percent of what he's worth?" asked Skye still astounded by the amount

"Skye concentrate please, in a few days or weeks papers are going to turn up for property I get in the settlement too, I can't hide this from Alex but I don't know how he's going to react"

"What do you mean?"

"Well right now I'm a student nurse and he's the bread winner, he knows I'm getting a settlement but he's not expecting this…I wasn't expecting this I was absolutely shocked to the core when I read the settlement"

"You didn't ask for this?" asked Skye

"No I left it in the hands of the lawyer"

"Well he's good, really good" she said looking at the statement once again

"Skye if I tell Alex he may feel threatened about it, he may get angry because I didn't prepare for this amount, he may construe it as lying to him. I honestly don't know how he's going to take this and I don't want him to freak out but I don't want to hide it from him because then if he did find out somehow I would be in the wrong"

"Well just tell him what you told me, you knew it would be a good enough settlement to get you through nursing school but you weren't expecting it be enough to allow you to retire in your twenties. Tell him it's not going to change anything you still want to become a nurse…you do still want to right?"

"Yeah"

"…Just tell him the truth, tell him with this money you and he can make a very happy and comfortable life together without financial worries"

"I just have a feeling this is going to cause a lot of problems"

LATER AT KAREV AND RYANS HOUSE

Alex walked into the house and placed his things at the door and smiled as he saw a nervous Ryan staring back at him. She'd been at home all afternoon alone and waiting for Alex to return practicing to herself how she was going to approach the situation.

"Hey babe" he said kissing her sweetly on the lips before walking away towards the kitchen.

Ryan turned to watch him and suddenly blurted out not knowing why "I got my divorce"

Alex turned and looked at Ryan "When?" he asked very nonchalant

"Two weeks ago" she answered honestly

"And you're just telling me this now?" he asked a little bewildered

"I didn't know how to approach this and I kept putting it off and off and off and…"

"Ryan!" he said stopping her from rambling

"I got the mother load of settlements" she said walking towards him and handing him the bank statement as he glanced at the paper his eyes widened as he saw the total. "I didn't know I was getting it until I got the papers and then I didn't believe it and now it's sat there in my bank and I know I need to tell you so I'm telling you"

"Who was this guy?" asked Alex stunned by her new fortune

"He was a mistake" Alex looked up at Ryan and could see fear in her eyes

"Why were you so worried about telling me this?" he asked curiously

"I didn't know how you'd react, and I don't want this to be an issue, I want this to be something good that happened to us and just carry on like normal"

"Carry on like normal? You probably make more a day in interest than you would in a month as a nurse, than I would as a doctor and you just want to pretend it's not there?"

Ryan looked at Alex and nodded her head "Yeah I do, I want to become a nurse and I want assist you as a doctor and I want any kids we may have in our future to be proud of us for making something of ourselves, I don't want to live off of a fortune I made from marrying a two timing, manipulative little sleaze. I don't want this to change anything, yeah we'll be able to afford nice things but I don't want this to change us because I like us, I like this, I like having to work for everything"

"You were expecting this much?"

"I was expecting enough to hold me over while I trained to become a nurse, enough to secure this house, not enough to buy this house and every house on the street. Only Skye knows and I don't want anyone else to find out"

"Ok" he agreed he could see this was really bothering her and that she sincerely didn't want anything to change because of this especially her relationship with Alex. Alex pulled her in close and held her tight "You're telling me you're not even the slightest bit tempted to jump on a plane and head for the Caribbean right now?" Ryan pulled away from Alex and smiled at him

"I'm exactly where I want to be"

Alex then moved in and kissed Ryan "We can still celebrate though right?" he asked his hands already cupping her ass.

"Oh yeah we can celebrate" she said with a smile as Alex effortlessly raised her to his waist and carried her upstairs to the bedroom.

AT THE HOSPITAL

The elevator doors opened and Skye walked out making her way home after a long day she walked out into the cold night air and smiled as she saw Charlie stood waiting for her looking very cute as his Irish charm seeped through. She approached him and kissed him eagerly happy to be in his arms again. At that same moment Chan and Sloan walked out of the hospital and Chan stopped dead in his tracks as he watched Skye and Charlie kissing before him. Even though he knew they were together this was the first time he'd seen them together and in that moment he could feel himself seething with anger, angry at the fact that he lost Skye because she couldn't support him in the way he needed and now she was in a relationship with an alcoholic.

"You ok man?" asked Mark who could see the moment was uncomfortable for him

"Yeah" he lied walking away followed by Mark as they walked past Skye and Charlie, Skye caught a glimpse of Chan and stopped kissing Charlie wondering to herself why he hadn't reacted in the way she'd expected.

"You ok?" asked Charlie

"Yeah" she said giving her attention to Charlie "Just ready to go home" she continued.

Charlie pulled her in for a hug and whilst in the arms of Charlie, Skye watched Chan intently as he walked away.


	62. Chapter 62

A MONTH LATER

Chan kissed Jess sweetly and then climbed out of the bed, Jess smiled as she watched the handsome man make his way into the bathroom. She looked over at the clock and then climbed out of bed wrapping the sheet around herself and she walked into the bathroom where she found Chan standing under the shower.

"So what time are you at work?" she asked looking at the misted glass

"Eight why?" he asked

"I was just wondering if we had time for a dirty shower" she said walking over and putting her head around the door

"Tempting…very tempting" he started moving over and kissing her "…but I have a few things I need to do before work so I need to get going"

"Ok well it was only an idea, maybe later" she said walking away and into the bedroom

Chan hung his head and sighed as the water hit hard wondering to himself how he could sleep with one girl while his mind was completely occupied by another. As the guilt grew inside him so did the urge to get out of the apartment. He jumped out of the shower and quickly got himself dry and dressed and without a word said to Jess who was now in the kitchen making coffee and breakfast Chan left the apartment the door slamming behind him.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Roxie sat in the chair behind the nurses desk watching the busy hospital as all the staff rushed around frantically busy and for the first time since leaving work she was actually thankful she wasn't working as she was so tired from carrying all the extra weight. Just then Mark appeared and he spied Roxie sat down with a smile on his face he walked over to the desk and looked down at her curiously.

"Hi"

"Hey" she replied with a smile

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see Dr Wyatt"

"I thought that was at twelve?"

"It is; am I not allowed in the hospital?"

"No you're allowed I was just wondering why you were here so early that's all" he said walking around the desk and sitting down next to her. "So how are you feeling?" he asked rubbing her stomach

She smiled as she watched him "I'm ok, I'm aching like crazy but Chan says this is normal so I'm not sweating it"

"Aching where?"

"Mainly my legs" she said rubbing them

"Come here" he said taking her legs and resting them on his knees he then began to massage her legs and she sat back and indulged as for the first time that day they began to ease.

"Oh that's good"

"Yeah well don't get used to this"

Roxie opened her eyes and smiled at Mark "Don't get used to it? This shouldn't be a thing you do only when I'm pregnant, I should be pampered at all times"

"I look after you"

"Is that what you call it?" she smiled

"Where's Jess?"

"She's trying to track Chan down"

"Why?"

"I don't know I didn't ask"

"Dr Sloan, Mrs Turner is being prepped as we speak" said Yang

"Ok I'm on my way" Yang walked away and Mark placed Roxie's legs down gently. "Sorry but I've got surgery, just rest ok?"

"Yeah easier said than done" she replied as he kissed her on the cheek

"Jess is here to help" he replied

"Yeah when she's around" smiled Roxie, Mark smiled back and kissed her on the lips.

"I'll see you later at home"

"Ok bye" she said watching Mark walk away

ELSEWHERE

Chan walked through the double doors and stood in awe as he saw Jess talking to Ryan. Jess smiled as she saw Chan and Ryan departed.

"Hi" she said watching him approach

"Hey what are you doing here?" he asked

"I've brought Roxie in to see the shrink. So guess what I just heard?"

"I have no idea" he said leaning on the station and writing on the chart

"That you and Skye were pretty serious, I knew you'd dated but I didn't know wedding bells had been heard"

"We didn't get married"

"Oh I know that but Ryan said she was arranging it. How can you go from being that serious to barely acknowledging each other?"

"It's a long story!" he said sternly "Is that the real reason you're here to pump information about me?" he said aggressively Jess obviously touching a nerve

"No, not at all. Like I said I brought Rox for her appointment and I thought while I waited I would come and find you and see if you wanted to grab a coffee or something"

"Yeah well I'm too busy so you should just go and read the out of date Cosmo's while you wait for your sister" Chan then walked away

"Chan" called Jess trying to get him back wondering what she'd said or done that was so wrong.

LATER

Roxie had finished her session with Dr Wyatt and after finding Jess sat outside her office waiting for her the sisters were now making their way through the hospital.

"You know what I'm starving, let's go grab something from the cafeteria" said Roxie moving in the direction before Jess had time to reply.

"Jess" came a call from behind Jess turned to see Chan walking over to her she waited unsure what to expect from him. "I wanted to apologise, about earlier it wasn't you, it was all me. I just don't like to talk about it"

"About what? The fact that you're still in love with your ex?"

Chan hesitated to respond "Skye and I didn't break up because we fell out of love so yeah I still have feelings for her but we've both moved on she's got a new guy and I haven't been this happy…" he took her hands "…in a long time"

"Hey" said Skye approaching Roxie who'd stopped to wait for her sister and was watching curiously

"Skye" said Roxie excitedly turning Skye's back to Chan and Jess.

"So how are you?" she asked oblivious to Chan and Jess behind her. Roxie saw Chan and Jess kissing and she didn't know how to avoid this awkward situation"

"Err…how about we go get a drink and we'll talk" said Roxie trying to urge her friend into the cafeteria

"Oh I wish I could but I have surgery" she said gesturing in the direction turning to see Chan kissing Jess. Skye stood dumbstruck for a moment and looked at her ex and best friends sister. She then turned to Roxie. "You knew about this?"

"Skye…"

"You knew and you didn't tell me? Thanks for that" an upset Skye walked off in the opposite direction she needed to go in order to avoid the awkwardness with Chan and Jess.

LATER AT SKYES

Skye walked into the house and left her things at the door and walked into the kitchen where she could smell the most beautiful aroma. She walked in to see Charlie cooking, he smiled at her.

"Well hello" he leant over the counter and kissed her softly as she sat down on a stool

"Hey"

"How was your day?"

"Same old" she lied "What about you?"

"Well I got a lead on a job this morning"

"Oh great"

"Yeah I called up, the fella asked me to go down and see him so I did and he gave me the job on the spot" said Charlie with a huge smile waiting for a congratulations from Skye that never came he observed her distance and stopped cooking and leant on the counter. "Skye?" she snapped out of her daze.

"Sorry what?"

"I said I got the job"

"Congratulations" she said with a forced smile

"Are you ok?" he asked seeing through her forced smile

"Sorry I'm just tired. I really am happy for you"

"I cooked this to celebrate" he said pointing at the busy stove

"Great"

"You're not just tired this is something else"

"No honestly I'm just tired"

"Ok" he said letting it go but not believing her and continuing with the cooking.

"Do I have time to shower?" she asked

"Yeah there's about half an hour"

"Ok" she replied walking out of the kitchen and making her way to the bathroom. She walked inside turned on the shower and as the room filled with steam she walked over to the vanity wiped the mirror and looked at her distorted reflection.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked herself she then opened the drawer to the vanity unit as far as it would open and she moved a box of tissues to reveal a photograph she pulled it out and smiled as she stared at the picture of her and Chan from the dreaded wedding hoopla he'd invited her to and when he'd first expressed his true feelings for her. They looked so happy and she couldn't help but wonder what had happened to them because when her and Chan first got together even though she fought it no man had ever made her feel so special nor happy and now she was dating Charlie who she liked very much and brought to her attention that day Chan was hooked up with Roxie's sister Jess. And even though she herself was dating Charlie the thought of Chan dating Jess turned her stomach and made her quite jealous and left her wondering if this had all been a huge mistake.

A WEEK LATER

Roxie walked into the doctors lounge where she found Skye sat among a huge pile of paperwork and she looked at her friend who sat lost, the expression on her face the one of a woman with many turbulent thoughts in her mind. So distracted from reality she hadn't even noticed Roxie's presence.

"Ok I left you, I gave you time to come to terms with it in whatever way you could, now you need to talk to someone about it…so here I am" said Roxie sitting across from her friend. Skye looked straight at Roxie who could see the pain in her eyes.

"When I fell for Charlie I thought that was it that I'd moved on it didn't feel like I was using him, it felt real. Then I saw Chan and Jess together and it broke my heart, the thought of the man I love being with somebody else. I thought I'd handle it better when I saw him with another woman"

"It hurts I know"

"I thought I'd moved on, maybe he's right maybe Charlie is just a charity case, an alcoholic I think I can help"

"How do you feel when you're with Charlie?"

"Happy or I did until last week, now I feel like I'm cheating on Charlie because I can't stop thinking about Chan"

"Do you feel as strongly about Charlie as you do Chan?"

"No but I haven't been through as much with Charlie"

"True, you know Chan's only with Jess because he can't be with you"

"Isn't she your sister?" asked Skye wondering why she would allow this to happen

"Jess isn't stupid, she knows and she still chooses to sleep with him. It's you he wants he knows that, he's just not the type of guy to sit pining for you while you're dating another guy"

"What do I do?" asked Skye completely lost

"Talk to Chan, and soon before Jess and Charlie do fall in love with the both of you because then you're breaking their hearts and they don't deserve that"

Skye nodded her head "Yeah you're right. I need to talk to him, now" she said putting the pile of paperwork to once side and standing up adamant about her decision to talk with Chan "I need to talk to him now" she repeated encouraging herself. Roxie rose to her feet. "You want me to come with you? I have about twenty minutes before my session"

"No you go get a drink or food or just relax you're pregnant you need to take it easy, and I need to do this alone"

"Ok, well I'll be around after my session if you need me"

"Thanks" said Skye. She exhaled loudly and left the room in search of Chan.

A Little While Later

Skye saw Chan in front of her and she stood and prepared herself. She walked over with a purpose and Chan turned to see her wondering to himself what she was doing coming to speak with him as they hadn't been very sociable as of late.

"Can we talk?" she asked

"Sure" he replied curiously

"Not here" she said walked off in the direction of the on call room he followed her and she closed the door behind him and looked over at him and hesitated she had no idea how she was going to approach the conversation.

"What's wrong Skye?" he asked urging her to speak

"I…" she struggled "I need, I know about you and Jess, I saw you"

"Oh so you've come to shout at me and have you say?" he asked defensively

"No, I came to tell you…"

"Oh let me guess you can Charlie are engaged?" he snarled sure she was there to get a one up on him.

"I can't stand it, you and her"

"Yeah well you're going to have to get used to it"

"Like you are with me and Charlie?"

"I couldn't give a damn about you and Charlie"

"Chan, I know this is really bad timing and it's…"

"Skye just accept it I'm happy with Jess, she doesn't make me feel like something she's stepped in" he said walking past her not giving her the chance to speak he opened the door and Skye knew she had to blurt it out otherwise he was going to walk out of there.

"I still love you"

Chan stopped closed the door and turned to Skye completely stunned.

"Excuse me?"

"I thought I was over you and I was so convinced that I was over you I started something with another man, but when I saw you with her I realised it was nothing but a charade. I never stopped loving you and I can't bear see you with another woman, it's killing me"

Chan stood silent for a moment and then began to shake his head in disbelief

"You're unbelievable, you pushed me away to point where we broke up, you've been dating another guy and now, now that I'm happy with Jess you're coming here and telling me you're in love with me and this whole thing was a huge mistake" he snarled

"I'm sorry"

"Yeah me too Skye because a month ago this would have been one of the happiest moments of my life but now, I can't be happy because you are so fickle that I don't know this time next month that you'll still feel this way, I don't know you won't be crawling back to him, because frankly I don't think you know what you want, accept you know you don't want me to be happy, whether it be with Jess or any other woman" Chan then walked out of the room leaving Skye feeling awful, putting her heart out on the table only to be crushed by the man she loved. She fell onto the bed and started to sob, gasping for breath as she felt winded by the emotional attack by Chan.

LATER THAT NIGHT – AT JOES

Chan and Jess were sat at the bar drinking and kissing in a private little collective oblivious to the rest of the room. Skye then walked into the bar and saw them sitting together she questioned whether she would be able handle the situation as she tried to prove to herself and to Chan that she was over him and that she truly had moved on. She then felt a hand at the small of her back and smiled as Charlie greeted her with a kiss.

"Sorry I'm late it was a little last minute" he apologised

"It's ok, drink?" she asked desperate to parade Charlie in front of Chan

"Sure" they made their way over to the bar and Skye out of the corner of her eye could see Chan staring at her and Charlie.

"Two club soda's please Joe" said Skye ordering the drinks. Skye then turned with a smile on her face and for Chan's expense she kissed Charlie softly on the lips and pulled away stroking his chest.

"What was that for?"

"I'm feeling promiscuous" she replied with a slight smile

"Oh really?" asked Charlie with a smile on his face as he circled her waist

"Yeah can you get the drinks while I use the ladies?" she asked

"Sure" he replied watching her as she left

Chan then excused himself and followed her, he opened the ladies room door and after seeing she was alone he walked inside.

"You're pathetic"

"You're the one that followed me" she reminded him

"Yeah to tell you how pathetic you look. This is why we're not going to get back together, fickle Skye, you see me with Jess and you want me, I say no and you want him"

"I don't want him! I want you that's the problem"

"Then why are you using him? Why are you kissing him and letting him feel you up at the bar if you don't want him?" Skye stared at Chan and couldn't bear to say the words "If it's your attempt at making me jealous Skye then you're failing because it's just making me feel sorry for you. I don't know what happened to the Skye I fell in love with but I miss her and I haven't seen her in a really long time" he said turning to leave

"You destroyed her" she exclaimed

Chan wondered to himself if it were true knowing he'd put her through a lot and regretting and hating himself for the hard times he'd put her through. He knew standing and arguing with her wasn't going to help either of them and he walked away leaving her alone in the bathroom. With tears in her eyes she turned and looked into the mirror and didn't recognise the woman looking back her. The door then opened and Jess gingerly made her way inside. Skye looked at the door but ignored the fact Jess was there.

"Are you ok?" asked Jess

"I'm fine"

"I don't know what happened between you two and I don't know why he just followed you in here but I'm sorry if I'm making things harder"

"Don't flatter yourself, this isn't about you" she snarled as she pushed past Jess and left the ladies room. She approached Charlie at the table as Chan watched on she drank her drink and walked out of the bar and a confused Charlie followed her.

LATER AT ROXIE AND MARKS APARTMENT

Skye rampantly and relentlessly knocked on Roxie's door until it was opened by a groggy Mark who looked bewildered at Skye.

"What?" he asked annoyed his sleep had been disturbed

"I need to speak to Roxie"

"She's asleep like most of Seattle"

"It's ok babe" said Roxie approaching the door and sending Mark back to bed she looked at her friend and could see she was hurting. As Mark moved out of sight uncharacteristically Skye fell into Roxie's arms asking for the support and comfort she needed. Roxie held her friend tight knowing she just needed to be hugged and anything she had to say would come later. She stroked her friends back comforting her as she felt her silently sob on her shoulder.


	63. Chapter 63

LATER

Roxie returned handing Skye a drink and she sat down beside her friend.

"They're not here are they?"

"No"

"I need to go before they get back here"

"No you need to talk"

"I don't even know why I'm here. I don't know if I came for support or if I came to shame him hoping he'd be here. I'm screwed up"

"You're not screwed up you're hurting"

"He told me we'd never get back together because basically he couldn't trust me, he said he felt sorry for me"

"Skye…"

"Don't worry about it…I just…I couldn't stay in the house with Charlie. I just slept with him and I did it because I was angry with Chan. How can I sleep with Charlie and then lay there beside him, letting him believe I'm in love with him?"

"It's complicated I know but Skye you need to decide whether it's Chan or Charlie you really want"

"It's Chan…"

"Yeah now, you split up, during that time you never made an effort to reconcile, then Charlie turns up and you hook up with him without a thought for Chan, then you see Chan and Jess together and now you want Chan back but because you can't have him you're keeping Charlie around. I'm not saying you don't want Chan because only you know what you want for sure but look at this from Chan's point of view. He felt like you'd given up on him and after watching him and knowing he was suffering after your break up, you hook up with Charlie then when Chan's close to being happy you decide you want him back and there's nothing more Chan wants but he feels like he can't trust you because one minute you're pushing him away and the next you're head over heels in love with him. You can't blame him for being sceptical as for him being hurtful, it's probably his way of dealing with it. He doesn't mean any of it. You holding onto Charlie while claiming to want him back though Skye makes you look indecisive if you want Chan back you have to prove it, you have to cut Charlie lose. So I suggest you go home you think about this, about what you really want and if it is Chan then you need to say goodbye to Charlie and then be patient with Chan"

"He's really got you on his side hasn't he?"

"I'm not anybodies side, I want you two back together because I believe you are meant for each other. I just don't want to see you hurt each other again"

Just then the door opened and Chan and Jess returned to the apartment. Jess looked over at Skye.

"I'm going to head off to bed" she said excusing herself as Chan remained in the room.

"I'll leave you two to talk, and remember people are sleeping so let it just be talk" Roxie made her way back to the bedroom to a sleeping Mark.

Chan sat down on the chair across from Skye and the duo stared at each other.

"If I knew for sure that you meant everything you'd said about wanting me back, if there was not a doubt in my mind about where your heart belonged I wouldn't hesitate in getting back with you because from the moment I met you I knew you were the woman for me, but I'm not going to jump back into anything with you unless I'm a hundred percent sure because I can't stand to get hurt again"

"You hurt me too"

"I know and I've apologised for that, but when I came to you and said I wanted you back you wouldn't have me remember?"

"Just like you need to be a hundred percent, I needed to know you weren't going to relapse and hurt me the way you did"

"I didn't do it intentionally, that's the difference"

"My Dad didn't do intentionally, he still did it though and eventually he stopped blaming it on the drink and then it became intentional and I couldn't bring myself to be hurt like that by somebody else I loved, I'm not going to apologise for that because I was looking out for myself and I will always come first, I would love say you do but you don't and maybe that's down to the disappointment in my life but I have the right to make that decision not you"

"I didn't want to come first, I just wanted you to believe in me and I know that's hard because of your Dad, but it doesn't feel great to be tarred with the same brush either"

A silence filled the air as both grew tired of arguing and pleading their cases.

"So what now?" asked Skye

"If you're serious about this you've got to prove it"

"Break up with Charlie?"

"Do what's right"

"What about Jess?"

"I'll deal with Jess, Skye I want this I do, but I'm not going to rush into something unless I know this is what you want too"

Skye stared at Chan and knew his points were valid as were Roxie's and she knew she had to go and tell Charlie things were over.

THE NEXT DAY

The door to Dr Wyatt's opened and Roxie walked out and smiled as she saw Skye waiting for her.

"You want to get a coffee?" asked Skye

Roxie knowing this was her friends way of asking for a shoulder to cry on smiled and nodded her head "Sure"

A Little While Later

Skye and Roxie sat outside on the benches watching the world go by as they drank their coffees and Roxie sat patiently waiting for her friend to speak knowing pushing her would only make things worse.

"I haven't told Charlie yet" she admitted

"I'm seeing an OBGYN across town" admitted Roxie. Skye looked at her friend and sat back wanting to know more.

"Why?"

"Neurosis? It's not that I don't trust Chan it's just they missed it with Faith and it makes me feel better to have it confirmed that she's fine" she said rubbing her stomach "No one knows"

"Everything's going to be fine" she assured her friend

"Yeah I know" she smiled "It's just something I need to do. Like Chan needs to see you're serious and like you need to dump Charlie"

"I know you're right I just need to get it over with but I'm not looking forward to it"

"I'd be more concerned if you were"

Skye smiled and the duo continued to sit as Skye prepared herself for her talk with Charlie later that day.

LATER IN THE HOSPITAL

Dr Webber walked out of the elevator and made his way over to the desk where he saw Roxie sitting.

"You realise you're officially on maternity leave now?"

Roxie smiled "Yes I'm aware"

"Then how come I see more of you now than when you were working here?"

"I'm waiting for Mark to finish"

"He's in the OR you know"

"I know, I had a nap in the on call room and now I'm waiting for an intern to fetch me food and Mark has sent word that he'll be out of surgery within the hour"

The chief looked sternly at Roxie and then smiled "You're looking very healthy and very happy"

"I am" she replied with a wide smile

"I'll see you later" said the chief walking away

"What was that about?" asked Derek as he approached

"Nothing really"

"So how are you?" he asked sincerely

"I'm tired" she replied honestly

"You're getting plenty of rest?"

"Yeah too much"

"Everything's ok?"

"Yes everything's fine, me and the baby are good"

"I'm glad to hear it, you deserve some happiness"

"What about you?"

"What do mean?"

"Don't you deserve some happiness?"

"I'm happy in fact Meredith and I have just got engaged"

"Oh my God" replied Roxie who was being hushed by Derek

"But no one knows and Meredith would kill me if she knew I'd told you before she told Cristina and Mark would probably throw a hissy fit too so keep it quiet"

"Ok but congratulations"

"Thank you" replied Derek smiling happily

"Here you go Dr Leoni" said an intern returning with her food

"Mmm yummy" said a hungry Roxie as Derek laughed "Thank you" said Roxie as she dismissed the intern

"You're not even working here and you've got the interns taking orders"

"Ahh not me Mark, you want some?"

"Do you have some to spare?" asked Derek

"Yeah there's loads"

"Then yes I'd love to" Derek then helped Roxie out of the chair and picked up the food and they made their way to the doctors lounge.

LATER AT SKYES

Skye had arrived home to an empty house which was strange as Charlie had taken refuge there since they'd started dating. Anxiously she waited for Charlie to arrive desperate to get the discussion over with as it was driving her insane. She heard a car door slam and she looked out to see Charlie approaching she prepared herself for him entering the house and waited patiently. A few moments later Charlie hadn't walked in and curiousity got the better of Skye and she opened the door to find Charlie slumped on the floor.

"Hey you got the door open" he said trying to get himself to his feet

"Oh God you've been drinking"

"No no I'm just tired" he lied as he stumbled

"You promised you wouldn't drink after the transplant"

"Yeah well I'm fucking Irish we like to drink so what ya going to do Doc?" he said successfully making it into an upright position

"You know how many people there are on the UNOS list waiting for a liver and you're just pissing this one away"

"What the fucks it got to do with you?"

"I stepped over professional lines to get a liver for you, I crossed my friends getting a liver for you. So it's got a lot to do with me" Skye could feel herself getting angry as this scene was becoming repetitive the amount of times she'd gone through this with her father and now with Charlie.

"Get out of my way" he said barging past her

"Get out of my house" she said taking a stand finally

"Get out?"

"Yeah get out, I don't want you here"

"You're breaking up with me?" he asked getting in her face the alcohol fumes alone enough to get her drunk.

"Yeah I am, so leave"

"Oh come on babe you don't want that" he said placing his hands on her ass and pulling her in closer as he kissed her neck

She pushed him away "Get out!" she stayed strong

"Make me" replied Charlie getting aggravated

Skye knew she had to stay strong not only for herself but for Chan too because getting Charlie out of her life was the first step to getting Chan back in.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Hunt was run off his feet in the ER and was shouting out orders as he made his way to the next patient.

"That's for trauma two" he shouted before opening the curtain

"Ok Mrs…" as Hunt recognised the name on the chart he looked up to see Skye sat before him her eye black, her lip split, her nose broken, a lump on her head and scratch marks and pressure marks on her visible skin. "What happened?" asked Hunt

"My sister's working on the surgical floor as a nurse Ryan McKenzie so can you get her down here please?"

"Sure" replied Hunt before walking away closing the curtain behind him and giving her privacy.

A Little While Later

The curtain opened and Ryan entered she looked at the state of her sister and her jaw dropped.

"Oh my God"

"Stop overreacting I've just called you here because when this has finished swelling I won't be able to see and I need to get home"

"Go home? You're not going home and even if you are it's not until something's been done. You need to call the police"

"She's right" said Hunt standing tall

"I don't need to call the police"

"Yes you do"

"No I don't it was an accident"

"Are you kidding me?" asked Ryan shocked that her sister was going to play the 'accident' card.

"Ryan let it go"

"I'm not taking you home" said Ryan storming off

"You know I'm obligated to call police, whether you talk to them or not is your decision but I have to follow protocol, I won't let any other doctors treat you, I'll do it all myself and I'll move you from the curtains when a room comes available but you have to let me do my job deal?" he asked and watched as Skye nodded her head "Ok I'm going to go and get the camera" said Hunt leaving the room.

Skye sat sombre knowing this was all coming and dreading the whole ordeal.

LATER

Hunt and Skye sat quiet in a room she'd been moved into and Hunt fixed her up as the police officer sat in the chair in the corner.

"The marks on you suggest an attack and we can follow this up without your permission but it would be a lot easier and less obvious if you were to help us and as a doctor here I'm sure you don't want an investigation going off as this would mean co-workers would be involved"

"You're blackmailing me into talking? Is that ethical?"

"Just trying to do my job ma'am"

"I don't think she wants to talk about it right now so how about you go get a coffee" said Hunt standing up and opening the door. The officer took his direction and left Skye alone.

"Thank you" said Skye

"No problem" said Hunt sitting back down and continuing

"Roxie always said you were a nice guy"

"You didn't believe her?"

"No it wasn't that it was just I don't know you that well"

"I'm not the easiest guy to get to know but I like Roxie, she's different from everyone else and she's easy to talk to"

"Yeah she is"

"Would you like me to call her?"

"No she's exhausted leave her to sleep"

Just then the door opened and Chan appeared followed by a guilty looking Ryan who knew calling Chan wouldn't go down well with her sister.

"Jesus Christ" said Skye as another wave came crashing at her that night.

"I don't want her upsetting" warned Hunt

"Is she ok?" asked Chan

"I know it's a bad lump but I am still coherent" snapped Skye

"She's fine" said Hunt stating the obvious "She just doesn't need everybody pressuring her right now. Think of her as a patient and not as Skye" he whispered before walking out of the room

"Did he do this?" asked Chan

"Chan leave it alone"

Chan then realised "He's drinking again?" Chan got his answer from the look in her eyes. "You have to tell the police"

"Tell them what? The alcoholic I've been shacked up with beat me up because I tried to break things off with him so I could shack up with my former drug addicted boyfriend?"

"I'm going to ignore that because of the situation"

"Chan I'm sorry but let's face it that's the story"

"What happened?"

"I told him to leave and he didn't like it"

"Where is he now?"

"Unconscious on my kitchen floor"

"How did you get here?"

"I took a cab, Chan I just…" she began to cry and Chan caught her tears and he held her close "Tell the cop to come back" she said sitting up and regaining her composure

"Are you sure?"

"I want him out my house"

LATER

The door opened and the police left the room and made their way out of the hospital as Hunt walked back into the room.

"We're just going to send you up for a CT to make sure everything's ok"

"I'm fine honestly"

"You may be but I'm not letting you go until the CT says so and you promised you'd let me do my job"

Skye smiled slightly as Hunt ordered her around never one to take orders she backed down and let Hunt order the tests. Hunt closed the door and Skye looked over at Chan who sat beside her.

"You can go home you know?"

"I'm not going anywhere" he replied

Skye smiled thankful there was someone there for her. The door opened and Ryan returned.

"Dr Hunt asked that I take you to CT so it's kept between us"

"It's a small hospital everyone will know by now"

"So what?" asked Chan trying to make her feel better "You've done nothing wrong"

"And everyone's been talking about you for weeks" said Ryan

Skye looked at Ryan "Thanks that makes me feel better"

Chan smiled "I'll take her for a CT, you finish your shift we'll be waiting for ages yet"

"No she's my sister I need to be here"

"Ryan take a hint" said Chan

"Oh" said Ryan realising there was chemistry between them once again "Ok I'll go finish my shift" she smiled as she left

Chan reached out for Skye's hand and gently kissed it not wanting to hurt her anymore than she'd been hurt already. Skye smiled at Chan as she felt protected and completely safe with him around.


	64. Chapter 64

A MONTH LATER

Skye stood outside the hospital after a break from the hospital after her attack and she was dreading going back inside and being the centre of attention and having everyone looking at her and talking about her.

"You'll be fine" said Chan approaching her and placing his hand on the small of her back

"I know"

"You heard anything about the court date yet?" he asked

"Not yet"

"Ok well come on we'll walk in together, call it moral support"

"No, thanks but I want to go in alone show them I'm strong"

"Ok well I'll be in the locker room"

"Ok I'll be there in a minute"

Chan smiled at Skye and made his way into the hospital knowing that Skye just needed time.

AT ROXIE AND MARKS APARTMENT

Roxie was frantically cleaning the apartment lifting any piece of dust that dare lay place as Mark and Jess sat watching.

"So this means she's nearing the end right? Her nesting?" asked Mark

"Yep" replied Jess smiling at her sister

"So how were your boys when you went home?"

"Confused they can't understand why I'm leaving them so much"

"Maybe you should go home"

"No I'm staying, she's fine now but what about when she has the kid?"

"You can't keep living like this, it's not fair on your kids"

"She's my baby sister"

"How about you go home and then if there are any problems after the birth we'll figure something out? Right now she's good and you need to be with your kids"

"You're sure about this?" asked Jess wanting to make sure her sister would be ok.

"Yeah I'm positive"

"Ok well I'll book a flight" said Jess standing up and walking away to make the arrangements

"Rox" said Mark standing up waiting for her to look at him but she just carried on cleaning

"What's up?" she asked

"Are you going to come into work with me now?"

"It's a little early don't you think?"

"Well yeah but it's Skye's first day back I thought you might want to be supportive"

Roxie stopped and looked at Mark "Oh God Skye, I completely forgot. Yeah you're right I need to go and see her. Give me ten minutes to get cleaned up" she said putting down the cloth and kissing Mark before she walked into the bedroom.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Karev stood writing on charts as an anxious Ryan stood in front of him biting her nails.

"Will you calm down?" asked Karev as she started to irritate him

"I'm just worried about her" replied Ryan

"She's a big girl she'll be fine, Skye wouldn't be coming back unless she was ready"

"You obviously don't know Skye, she's stubborn Alex and she'll come back before she's ready just to prove people wrong"

"Whether that's the case or not Ryan it's still her decision"

"Why are you not being more supportive?"

"Do you think she's going to appreciate you getting in her way and being over protective?"

"I knew you were callous but I didn't realise just how callous you actually were" she snapped before walking away

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Chan stood watching Skye as she dealt with a patient wondering to himself if she was ready to be back at work.

"Hey" said a familiar voice and Chan turned and smiled at Jess who looked at Skye

"Hi"

"I just came to say goodbye"

"Goodbye?" asked Chan

"Yeah Mark and I agreed that Roxie was doing ok and that I didn't need to be here if she needs me in the future I'll be back but right now she doesn't need me and my boys do"

"Well I'm gonna miss you" he said hugging her

"Yeah I'll miss you too and Chan…" she said pulling away "…there's no hard feelings between us, you love her any fool can see it even me. Just stop kidding yourself and take a leap of faith, you're meant to be together. If you weren't you wouldn't be stood here watching her and checking in on her. So when I come back to visit my niece I want to see you and Skye happily together, promise me?"

Chan smiled at how sweet Jess was being "I promise I'll try"

"Well that's good enough I guess" she kissed him on the cheek "I have to go and find Rox but I'll be back soon so I'll see you around"

"Ok have a safe flight" he said as she smiled and walked away leaving Chan to continue watching Skye wondering to himself if he should just take a leap of faith and hope that it all works out.

A Little While Later

Mark and Derek were watching through the corridors in the midst of conversation.

"So what happens if Roxie takes a step back after the birth?" asked Derek concerned for his friend

"We'll deal with it if and when it happens but right now she's doing fine and it's not fair to keep Jess away from her kids"

"So she's leaving today?"

"Yeah, well she was looking for a flight today, I don't know if she got one"

"Well I hope it all works out for you both" said Derek sincerely wishing them both the best of luck

"Thanks"

"I have to go but I'll find you later for a coffee" said Derek as he left Mark in the corridor. Mark continued on and like a spotlight shone down on her he spotted his heavily pregnant girlfriend at the end of the corridor and with a smile on his face he approached her and wrapped his arms around her ever expanding waist and kissed her on the cheek. Roxie smiled and looked over her shoulder at Mark and turned to face him.

"Hi"

"Hello"

"Jess left, she couldn't find you to say goodbye but she's gone"

"How do you feel about it?"

"Good, I'm happy she's going back to her kids and I feel like finally I'm getting some control back and people aren't looking at me like I'm an axe murderer"

"No one was looking at you like that"

"Yeah they were but its ok I deserved it and they didn't understand its something you can't understand until you go through it"

"A few more weeks babe that's all there is"

Roxie smiled as she saw the excitement in his eyes and she was thankful that finally things had worked out between them and that she was finally getting everything she wanted a life and a baby with Mark. She kissed him softly as he held her close.

"Did you find Skye?" he asked between kisses

"No not yet she's busy, I'm going to go see Wyatt then I'll go find Skye"

"Ok"

"Speaking of, by the time I've waddled up there…" Mark chuckled "…it will be time for my appointment. So I'll see you later"

"Ok" he replied kissing her goodbye "Page me if you're still here at lunch"

"I will do" she said waddling away as she made her way to Dr Wyatt's.

LATER – THE CAFETERIA

Skye walked into the cafeteria and got herself a coffee and as she turned from the counter she spotted Roxie sat in an exhausted heap on a chair she walked over and sat across from her friend and they sat silent for a lingering moment.

"I have a court date" revealed Skye to her trusted friend

"Jess left"

"I heard" replied Skye "You alright about it?"

"Yeah I'm fine, how about you and the court date?" she asked

"I'm glad it's been set and he needs to be punished but I'm not looking forward to it"

"When is it?" she asked

"Two weeks time"

"I'll go with you"

"Roxie you'll be full term you'll be lucky if you can get out of bed at that point"

"Skye you need support and you're my friend, I'll find a way"

"Thanks" she said taking Roxie's hand and squeezing it relieved that she had someone to go with her as she was panicking.

LATER AT SKYES

Skye was laid on the sofa watching bad TV when a knock came at the door she sat up and looked at the door even though she knew that Charlie wasn't allowed within fifty feet of her she was still nervous and worried he'd appear at her door. She approached the door sceptically and quietly and looked through the peep hole and sighed with relief as she saw Chan on the other side. She unlocked the door and smiled at him.

"Hey just came to see how your first day went and I brought dinner" he said raising a take away

"Come in" she said waiting for him to enter the house and then closing and locking the door behind him. Chan made his way into the kitchen and Skye followed him and watched as he retrieved the plates and emptied the contents of the bag.

"So how was your first day back?" he asked

"It was ok, what I expected a lot of leers and whispers but could have been worse right?"

"They'll find something else to talk about soon enough"

"Yeah I know" she smiled

"So what do you want?" he asked referring to the food and Skye smiled as she felt secure and happy with Chan.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Roxie sat on a stool in the kitchen pushing the food around on her plate as Mark hurriedly got ready for work.

"So call a taxi don't attempt to drive alright?" said Mark to no response "Roxie?"

"Taxi yeah I heard. Don't do this, don't do that blah blah blah"

"Babe you're full term now you need to be extra cautious right now"

"Ah hah" she replied

"Ok, I have to go to work so be careful, call me if you need me. I wish you'd just come and hang out at the hospital"

"I don't want to" she exclaimed

"Ok, I'll see you later" he said kissing her on the cheek and he gave her one last worried look and left the apartment.

LATER

A taxi pulled up and the driver opened the door and helped Roxie out.

"Thanks"

"You sure you don't want me to hang around?" asked the taxi driver

"No I'm ok, I'll make my way from here"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure thank you" she said walking away the taxi driver got back into the taxi and drove off and Roxie continued to waddle along she eventually arrived looked down at the gravestone which read.

Faith Leoni Shepherd

A life not lived, an eternal impression made.

As long as you're in our hearts, you will never die.

God Bless.

Roxie smiled to herself as she admired the stone of which she assumed Derek had, had made.

"I'm sorry I haven't been to see you before now…" tears appeared in her eyes "…it's taken me a long time to get here. I'm so sorry" she began to sob.

A Little While Later

Roxie had placed the flowers on Faith's plot and she'd sat on the bench in front and just stared at the piece of land. She looked up as she realised she was no longer alone and Derek smiled back at her.

"Hi" he said looking down at her able to see she'd been crying as she looked at him puffy eyed.

"Hi" she replied watching Derek walk towards the stone and placed down the flowers. Whilst crouched down he rested his hand on the grass and smiled at the head stone.

"Morning Faith" Roxie watched as he joined her on the bench

"What are you doing here?" she asked curiously

"I come every week"

"You do?" she asked immediately hating herself even more as this had been the first time since Faith's funeral that she'd visited.

"Yeah I come and talk to her, you probably think I'm crazy"

"No, I've been talking to her too"

"It helps" Roxie looked at Derek and smiled "You feel stupid talking to a stone but when you leave you feel better because you've talked to someone, and it's nice because she doesn't judge and she doesn't analyse"

They sat together for a lingering moment and just looked over at the grave stone.

"I can't believe that I'm sat here at my daughters grave thirty seven weeks pregnant. It's surreal"

"Don't feel guilty, you've done nothing wrong and you should be happy that you're thirty seven weeks pregnant"

"I am don't get me wrong, don't lead anything into this self pity it's just this isn't a situation I ever thought I'd find myself in. In three weeks it's my due date and in nine weeks it would have been Faith's first birthday, it's just so wrong" Derek didn't respond as he knew Roxie was just wanting to express herself "It's a beautiful stone"

"Yeah it really is, Mark did a great job"

"Mark?" she asked looking at Roxie with confusion

"He didn't tell you?"

"Mark put the headstone on?"

"Yes it was up within a week of the funeral. You didn't know this?"

"No, no I didn't. Why didn't he tell me?"

"I don't know"

Roxie stood up and walked over to the stone and looked at it once again wondering to herself why she didn't know about this. Suddenly Roxie gripped onto the stone with one hand and her stomach with the other letting out a discomforted sound.

"Ow" she moaned and Derek was soon by her side

"Roxie?" he asked wondering what was wrong

"Oh Jesus I think I'm having a contraction"

"What?"

"Ow Derek, I need to get to the hospital"

"Of course come on this way" he said guiding her to his car.

LATER AT THE HOSPITAL

Derek pulled into the ambulance bay where Chan, Mark and Skye were awaiting the arrival of Derek and Roxie. Mark opened the door and helped Roxie out placing her in the wheelchair he held her hand as Chan pushed the wheelchair.

"Her waters broke" said Mark

"Roxie accept for the obvious pain are you ok?" asked Chan

Roxie took a deep breath and exhaled "Yep I'm fine"

They wheeled her into the room and Mark hung back for Derek who arrived.

"Where the hell was she for you to find her like that?"

"She was at the cemetery, visiting Faith's plot"

"Oh Jesus is she ok?" he asked hating the fact he had to ask his best friend if his girlfriend was ok

"Yeah it was just something she felt needed to do, now go in there and look after her and the baby"

Mark opened the door and walked inside to see Chan examining her.

LATER

Mark, Roxie and Skye were all in waiting on Chan to reappear to check Roxie's progress as the rest of the hospital waited for news hoping this time it would be good. Chan walked into the room and smiled at Roxie trying to assure her that everything was fine. He sat down at the foot of the bed and examined her.

"Ok Rox you're eight centimetres, it shouldn't be too long now" he said standing up and washing his hands "I'll be back in a little while"

"Whoa wait you're leaving again?" asked an anxious Roxie

"Rox you're completely fine, you have two doctors and a midwife here with you, I'm in the next delivery room and that woman is ten centimetres so she needs me more right now, but I will be back to check on you and we'll get that little girl delivered" Chan smiled and left the room

"You want some ice chips?" asked Skye and Roxie shook her head "So are you completely ready for this I mean after birth part?"

"I think so" replied Mark stroking Roxie's hair as she held his hand nervously

"Ok I think I should go and get some ice chips" said Skye picking up a vibe that she needed to leave momentarily. She walked out of the door and Mark kissed Roxie's head.

"How are you?"

"You mean why was I at the cemetery?"

"I didn't say that"

"But you want to know" Mark didn't refute he did want to know, he needed to know that Roxie was ok and that she was ready for this.

"I just felt that I needed to, I wasn't feeling especially sad or guilty it was just an urge I had, I needed to be there and I needed to talk to her"

"Do you feel better now?" he asked

Roxie nodded her head "Yeah I do and as stupid as it sounds going into labour on her grave, it felt like she was giving me her blessing, I know I probably sound crazy right now but it did"

"It doesn't sound crazy"

"Thank you for the stone by the way" Mark looked at her and knew Derek had told her

"I just thought…"

"It's beautiful" she interrupted. Mark and Roxie kissed "Oh Jesus" said Roxie as her next contraction came and she squeezed Mark's hand. The midwife checked on Roxie and she left the room giving Roxie reason for concern. The door opened and Skye returned without the ice chips she'd used as an excuse to leave and then the midwife returned.

"Ok we need to get you comfortable, Dr Tatum will be back in a minute"

"Wait what?" asked Roxie

"You're fully dilated, its time"

Roxie's grip on Mark's hand got tighter as she began to worry memories of Faith flooding back and fears of a repeat flooding through her as she waited anxiously for Chan.


	65. Chapter 65

Moment Later

The door flew open and Chan already masked walked into the room where he was gloved up before he sat down in front of Roxie and checked on her.

"Ok Roxie this is it, now you're fully dilated and we're going to start pushing when I say. Before that though you need to remember this is a healthy pregnancy, at last check the baby and you were fine, I have no reason for any concern and I'm the best at what I do" Roxie could see the smile in his eyes trying to assure her she would be fine. "I need you to stay as calm as possible throughout this so just remember all of that ok?" Roxie nodded "Right when you're ready you need to push as hard as you can"

Roxie looked up at Mark and waited for the urge and she then began to push.

"That's good Rox, keep going we need another"

Roxie pushed hard again gripping tightly to Mark who held her leg and waited excitedly for the arrival of his daughter.

"Ok one more" demanded Chan

Roxie looking exhausted took a deep breath as Skye stroked her hair.

"Come on Rox you're nearly there" said Mark

Roxie pushed "Excellent Rox, you're doing great, Mark you don't want to miss this" he said urging Mark to the bottom of the bed where he began to smile as he saw the baby crowning.

"She's crowning Rox, she's got loads of hair on her head" Roxie smiled

"Right Rox this is the hardest part we need to clear the head and shoulders and then she will slide out but we need big hard pushes from you. Can you do this for me?" asked Chan

Roxie was now gripping onto Skye's hand as Mark stood at the foot of the bed. She looked over at Mark and then at Chan and could feel Skye stroking her hand supportively and she nodded.

"Yeah lets do this"

"Ok again when you're ready push for ten"

Roxie took a deep breath once again and started to push as Skye counted to ten and Mark stood mesmerised as he watched her give birth to their baby.

"Alright Roxie we have a head" he said clearing the airways and supporting the head "You ok there Mark?" he asked

"Yeah I'm fine" he said with a huge smile on his face

"Ok Roxie I need the biggest push right now this is to clear the shoulders this is the most painful bit so I've been told so let's do this"

"Right now? I can't rest?"

"Roxie this is it, one push to clear the shoulders then it gets easier we'll rest after this one I swear, just one more push. Can you do that for me?"

"Ok one more" she said absolutely exhausted

"You're doing great Rox" smiled Mark ecstatically

Roxie prepared herself again for another big push and she began as Skye counted once again.

"That's it, we're doing it, keep going Rox, keep pushing"

Roxie felt the relief as the shoulders passed and she stopped pushing breathing heavily as she was thankful for any relief at that moment.

"Ok now you can take a break, when you're ready you tell me and then it should be one more push and we're done"

"She's beautiful" smiled Mark

"She really is" agreed Chan

"Can I?" asked Skye and Roxie let go of her hand as she looked at the baby and smiled back at her friend "Oh my God"

"I'm ready" lied Roxie desperate to see her baby

"Ok one big push and she should be out"

"Ok"

"When you're ready"

Roxie without hesitation pushed with everything she'd got making sure this was the last time she'd have to push she successfully delivered the baby and Roxie smiled as the room filled with cries from her baby. Chan placed the baby on her chest and Mark walked to the head of the bed and kissed Roxie's sweaty brow as she looked at her daughter mesmerised. She touched the tiny little hands and smiled.

"Oh my God, you're real. She's healthy right?" asked Roxie

"Yeah she seems perfectly healthy, we're gonna do our checks now" said Chan taking the baby from Roxie to be cleaned up and checked out.

A Few Minutes Later

Chan returned with the baby and placed her in Roxie's arms and she and Mark stared contently at the baby as Chan stroked Skye's arm lovingly and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Six pounds, three ounces, eighteen inches long, ten fingers, ten toes, a good pair of lungs, one strong heart…she's perfect. Congratulations" said Chan kissing Roxie "I've got to go and check on things but I'll be back"

"Thank you" smiled Roxie as Chan left the room

"Ok so names?" asked Skye

"Jasmine" said Mark

"No" stated Roxie. Mark looked at her "I know we decided on the name but she's not a Jasmine. I don't know what she is yet but she's not Jasmine"

"That's ok I'll put Baby Girl Leoni down for now" said the midwife

"Baby Girl Sloan" said Roxie correcting her

"Ok" she smiled

Mark smiled at Roxie and they kissed "So we have to find a name for Baby Girl Sloan now?"

"Yeah we do but we'll find something"

"Can I hold her?" asked Mark turning to pick her up as he held the tiny baby in his huge masculine arms Roxie smiled and for the first time in a very long time she was truly happy.

LATER

Mark walked out of the elevator onto the surgical floor and faces turned in his direction as they all waited for news. He approached Derek and smiled Derek then hugged his friend and people knew things were fine with both mother and baby.

"She's beautiful man" he smiled gleefully

"Congratulations"

"Thanks"

"So do we have a name?" asked the chief approaching

"Not yet we just wanted a healthy baby, we'll find a name for her"

"I'm very happy for you, send my love to Roxie and the baby"

"I will" Mark smiled at Derek "I'm a Dad can you believe it?"

"How's Roxie?"

"Tired I left her sleeping, Jesus I can't believe it" he said still with a smile fixed to his face

"I'm glad you're happy, you both deserve it. I might drop by when I have some time if that's ok?"

"Yeah sure, I'm gonna go and see my daughter" he said excitedly

"Ok well I'll see you later…Dad" joked Derek as Mark walked away in hurry to see his daughter again.

ELSEWHERE

Skye stood in the corridor waiting for Chan to appear, finally the door opened and Chan walked out he smiled as he looked over at Skye.

"Hey are you ok?" he asked approaching her

"Can we talk?" she asked

"Sure"

"In here" she said referring to the on call room she walked inside followed by Chan and they looked at each other.

"So?"

"I err…" Skye exhaled "Charlie was sentenced yesterday, they err…they thought due to the assault and him being an alcoholic and having a donor liver that it was best to give him a custodial sentence to stop any future assaults and to help him overcome his addiction"

"Wait you went to court" Skye nodded "And you didn't tell me"

"I wasn't that I didn't want you there it was that I felt you shouldn't have been there across from him and it was a decision I made and I'm sorry if you don't like it but it's over now"

"And how do you feel?"

"Conflicted he deserves it but when he wasn't drinking he was a really nice guy and 'that' guy he doesn't deserve it, it's hard because I knew the sober Charlie for so long. You were right I was just trying to save him because I failed at saving my Dad"

"Skye I shouldn't have said that"

"No you were right and I'm sorry about everything that happened between us, I'm sorry I let you down"

"You let me down? That's ridiculous"

"No I did I just couldn't bear the thought of losing someone else that I love to an addiction. I'm sorry I just hope you can forgive me"

Skye looked at Chan and an uncomfortable moment settled between them Chan then moved forward and took Skye in his arms and kissed her intensely on the lips. Skye indulged in the kiss and pulled Chan tight as he backed her against the wall. Chan pulled away for a moment and took off his shirt then he locked the door and turned back to Skye who smiled as she waited in anticipation of something she'd longed for, for so long. Chan kissed Skye and removed her shirt and guided her back carefully onto the bed where he laid on top of her and continued his assault.

A FEW DAYS LATER

After being discharged from the hospital with Baby Girl Sloan, Roxie was dealing with life as a Mom and she was taking it all one day at a time. Introducing her to everybody, family and friends and for a moment of solitude she took the baby on a stroll and found herself once again in front of Faith's gravestone. She sat on the bench with Baby Girl Sloan facing her and she sat contently as the baby slept. Having sat for almost half an hour she decided to speak to Faith.

"He was right, your Dad said you feel like an idiot talking to yourself but you feel so much better afterwards and I did. I felt like you'd given me your blessing and that you wanted me to have her on that day so I could move on. I have moved on, I'll never forget you but I have moved on and now instead of relying on faith to get me through this I finally have a little hope in my life. I sat staring at her all last night thanking God that she was here and she was ok because I couldn't handle losing another baby. I just watched her breathing and I realised that neither of us should have been there, after what I did we should have both been dead, but we weren't and I've never been religious but I have to believe all this has happened because of something spiritual, because someone was watching over me and I like to think that was you"

Just then Mark appeared and Roxie looked up at him and smiled. He sat down beside her and put his arm around her.

"Hope"

"Sorry?" asked Mark

"Her name is Hope"

"Hope and Faith?" smiled Mark

Roxie smiled back and nodded "I know it's corny but it's fitting, we needed faith when she was born because she was so sick and now Baby Girl Sloan has been born we have hope because she's so healthy and she is bringing us happiness. Corny or not that's her name"

"Hope Sloan?" he asked cringing at the name

"Hope Leoni Sloan"

"Oh that's much better" he joked. Roxie smiled and playfully hit Mark "Ok Hope Leoni Sloan it is. We'll teach her to fight before she starts school she'll need it"

Roxie laughed "Shut up" Mark held Roxie tight and kissed her softly on the head.

"So you're ok?"

"Yeah I'm absolutely fine"

"Good" he replied taking her hand in his as they both sat and watched Hope as she slept blissfully.

_**Faith:**__the trust in God and in his promises as made through Christ and the Scriptures by which humans are justified or saved._

_**Hope:**__ to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence._

**Authors Notes:**

Thank you for reading the fic I have chosen to end it here on a good note as I could continue to write this fic forever. Who knows somewhere down the line I may do a sequel as I think it would be fun to see how Sloan handles a baby.

Sorry it has taken so long to post this fic I honestly thought I had submitted it all then came on in a search for another one I'd started ages back and found I'd only posted 44 chapters and as you can see there are 65 can't believe I didn't submit it this fic has been completed for over a year lol. Any well enjoy this fic and all my others and I hope to be posting another one shortly so keep checking back.


End file.
